Did you actually leap out of bed this morning? Did you find your hands shaking at work? Did you honestly consider whiskey for lunch to calm your nerves? Did your palms begin to sweat when you threw on your Hawks sweater, picked up your tickets, and got in the car? Can you even focus enough right now to read this? We wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t. It took us five attempts to sit still long enough to write this (though maybe that’s just the withdrawal). Such is the excite-ment about tonight’s events. If there was ever a night when the UC’s roof might actually tear off, it’ll be on this night. Whatever happens tonight, soak up as much as you can. We used to take this for granted, and the day when we do so again is probably coming soon (though we’ll never have to beg the opposition’s supporters to take our extra tickets, like Scum are currently doing). But tonight, after so long away, is an occasion to be remembered, the night the Hawks are officially back on the map. Drink it in from the beer bong of life (how’s that for a metaphor? We’re getting good at this!)Bang And Flame So, how does this all shape up? Quite frankly, the Hawks couldn’t have gotten a much better match-up unless the Ice Crew grabbed the 5th seed. When Calgary acquired Olli Jokinen at the deadline, Bob McKenzie, Pierre McGuire, and the rest of the slobber-ing Canadian press couldn’t wait to put down the Molson and be the first to declare that the Flames were now the equal of San Jose and Scum. How’d that work out? Well, let’s see. The Flames proceed-ed to blow a 12-point lead atop the North-west division, haven’t scored on the power play since you were pulling bong-rips in high school, and are so banged up the “C” on their chest stands for crying. All this led up to them landing squarely in the cauldron that will be a series against the Hawks and their fans, a 22,000-strong mob baying for blood. Good times, Calgary. The most encouraging thing we’ve seen about this series appeared in blog from Bird Watchers Anonymous, a Thrashers blog (when your team is that bad, you have a lot of time to crunch numbers about playoff teams). They measured each playoff team’s performance against all other playoff teams in the Western Conference. Where did the Flames finish? Dead last. 21 points behind the Hawks, who gathered 90 points against playoff teams in contrast to Calgary’s 69. Wanna hear more good news? You

sure do. The Flames, against other playoff teams, had a negative goal-difference to the tune of -.59. Their GD was a full goal better against non-playoff teams. Let’s put this in terms everyone can understand: The Flames feasted on weaker opposition, and basically looked like the cop from Resevoir Dogs when playing quality teams. All this points to is that the Hawks are simply a better squad.But Wait, There’s More! We couldn’t believe it either, but Steve Rosenbloom hit the proverbial pornstar in the mouth in his column yesterday. Much has been made of Calgary’s experience edge, but quite frainkly, it’s a crock of shit. The Flames experience consists of three first-round exits. Only few remain from the Finals run of ‘04, and one of those is the puddle that is left of Mikka Kiprusoff. Three of their most important players, Jokinen, Cammalleri, and Rene Bourque (yes, he’s an important player for them, and yes, we had a facial twitch read-ing that again) have as much playoff experi-ence as your mother does. Sure, the Hawks barely have any, but it’s not like the rules change and they’re facing a team with mul-tiple rings. If the Flames get behind in this series, it may be a, “Here we go again” feeling on their bench, and you can take their experi-ence, add it to $2.25, and that should get you on the bus home. However, the most encouraging part

is that the Flames blueline is butchered. Their best defenseman, Robyn Regehr, is out for the series. Cory Sarich, another important d-man, is also struggling. Dion Phaneuf, massively overrated when he’s healthy, is playing on one leg. This was a team that surrendered 19 goals in four games to the Hawks. They’re now going to shut up shop with Fucking An-ders Fucking Eriksson logging playoff min-utes? Okey dokey artichokey....When This Is Over And Through There’s still Iginla over there, though. But he’s been so thoroughly in Duncan Keith’s pocket all year, he’s prob-ably stuck to Dunc’s dryer at this point. The Hawks PK still scares us, but the only thing scarier has been how awful the Flames PP has been. So what could go wrong? Well, there’s one thing tonight: In previous charged games -- i.e. Hull Mikita Night and the Winter Classic -- the young Hawks have come out flying with everything they’ve got in the 1st. However, after that, they’ve looked like we do when the girl rolls over and asks if you’d like to go again, and you realize all that bourbon you drank that night has come back to haunt you. There’s nothing left. We know the Hawks are going to be seriously amped tonight, but can they spread it over three periods? But that’s only a concern for tonight. The Flames just don’t have enough. Hawks in 5.

-Peabody and Sherman

Vicariously We Live While The Whole World Dies

committedindian@gmail.comApril 16th, 2009

The Committed Indian

The REal Fan’s Program

SAY, WE REMEMBER THESE...

$3

secondcityhockey.com

$3

“There was something I used to do with these, what was it?”

I’ve been thinking about writing this editorial for 13 years. That’s the last time the Hawks entered the playoffs with a real team, a real buzz, a real anything. Quite frankly, I don’t know what to say. As my high school English teacher Bill Duffy -- God bless his soul -- told me, “Always quote someone, because they said it bet-ter than you.” So, if St. Louis Gametime will allow me to do so (actually, it doesn’t fucking matter, I’m going to and they can’t stop me), I would like to use what Brad Lee said on the front page of their issue last Friday, when the Blues eventually clinched a playoff spot, with some Hawks-related corrections. To wit:

“This game, this date with destiny for the Hawks, is for you and me. It’s for the season-ticket holders who kept the faith through the lockout, the dismantling of the team, and the non-playoff years. It’s for people who showed up on Tuesday nights vs. Columbus for three years. It’s for people who braved the ice storms on game nights since the lockout. You diehards, you knew who was here when we were finishing last. You know who you are. This game, this night, the Hawks make a triumphant return to the playoffs, it’s for us. Bill Wirtz can’t take it away. It can’t get traded to Phoenix. It can’t blow out its knee. When the team takes the ice, roar. Scream. Yell your bloody head off. You’ve earned it.”

Better than I could ever say it.

-There’s been a fair amount of discussion on our blog on whether we should do some sort of red-out in the stands tonight and throughout the playoffs. Quite frankly, I think it’s a ridiculous notion. The only fandom

that should be allowed to do such a thing was Win-nipeg, and they started the tradition. The White Sox fans’ blackout was pretty cool, but wouldn’t work because, y’know, the puck is black and might confuse the hell out of each goalie. But teams and their fans only come up with this stuff to try and create an atmosphere that we’re already experienced at creating. Fans in other cities look longingly at the Anthem and our roar and think of anything to get their comrades up to our level. We don’t need gimmicks or towels or promotions to get there. So tell Tommy Hawk to put his fucking drum away. Wear whatever you want. You know when to make noise, you know how to intimidate an opposi-tion, you know how to get our team going. We don’t

need any help.

-In my thank you’s on Sunday, I forgot one important group. Those would be my vendors. They’ve stood out there with me in ridiculous weather, peddling a publication they probably only had a hazy understand-ing of at best, and dealing with people who probably scared the ever-loving shit out of them. They did it for a pittance, and without them we never would have gotten off the ground. So thanks to all of you who helped, I’ll never be able to adequately express my appreciation.

FROM THE EDITOR

Sam Fels

STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS

PUCK DROP

Eastern Conference Western Conference

TOP 10 LIST

Top 10 Things You Should Know About Calgary, Alberta10. They really hate Edmonton, which is akin to hating a really poor kid who sleeps in a meat locker9. The whole year is centered around a rodeo called The Stampede, so they’re on a cultural level equal to Wyoming8. They’ve won one Stanley Cup, which most believe was solely do to Lanny Mc-Donald’s mustache7. One of their residents was silly enough to date the editor for six months. She now owns many, many guns6. They have a CFL team called The Stampeders, where Doug Flutie starred. Ditka still tried to take him to dinner5. They hosted the Olympics in 1988. Trent Yawney gave a middling performance, we should have known then4. The Flames play in the Pengrowth Saddledome, whose naming rights really should be bought by some S&M outfit 3. Their city was the first to host a speech by former President W. Dumbass. So yeah, they’re totally evil.2. Their economy is centered around oil. Yep, still evil.1. Nothing more you need to remember, they’ll be gone in five games, anyway.

*late game not included

Olli Jokinen-Dunderhead, Calgary: First off, doesn’t this picture kind of look like a dude who just got caught jerking off? There’s shock and embar-rassment in there. Anyway, as we said on the front page, when Olli was brought to Canada, everyone wanted to hand the Flames the Cup right then. They ignored the fact that he’s a terribly flawed player.

He’s a shoot-first center, and though while big, isn’t exactly physical, and much like a drugged up hooker, doesn’t have any clue what’s going on in his own end. If it wasn’t for his laser-pinpoint shot, you wouldn’t have ever heard of this guy. But he does have it, and that makes him a danger. You’ll also be quite aware of when Jokinen thinks he should get a pass, no one beaver-taps his stick on the ice more than him. If Cammalleri and he play on the same line, they might get into a fight over shots.

#1 Boston #8 Montreal

#2 Washington

#7 New York

#3 New Jersey

#6 Carolina

#4 Pittsburgh

#5 Philadelphia

#1 San Jose #8 Anaheim

#2 Scum

#7 Columbus

#3 Vancouver

#6 St. Louis

#4 HAWKS

#5 Calgary teams re-seed after first round, with

highest remaining seed playing lowest remaining.

NYR 1-0

NJ 1-0

PIT 1-0

VAN 1-0

Committed Indian T-shirts....

Chicago Blackhawks 46-24-12

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit)

24 R The Perfect Beard 6' 2" 217 27 81 29 48 77 29 30 5 0 5 249 11.6 $6,000,000

88 R Patrick Kane 5' 10" 187 20 80 25 45 70 -2 42 13 0 4 254 9.8 $3,725,000

19 C Captain Marvel 6' 2" 209 20 82 34 35 69 12 51 12 0 7 195 17.4 $2,800,000

32 L VerStud 5' 10" 180 22 78 22 31 53 15 55 6 4 3 139 15.8 $491,667

51 D 51 Phantom 6' 0" 188 29 82 7 45 52 5 22 4 0 1 108 6.5 $7,142,875

16 L Andrew Ladd 6' 2" 198 23 82 15 34 49 26 28 0 0 2 195 7.7 $1,550,000

36 C Dave Bolland 6' 0" 188 22 81 19 28 47 19 52 2 2 4 111 17.1 $845,833

10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6' 1" 197 27 61 26 18 44 6 41 9 0 4 184 14.1 $3,900,000

2 D Duncan Keith 6' 1" 194 25 77 8 36 44 33 60 2 1 1 173 4.6 $1,475,000

25 D Cam Barker 6' 3" 213 22 68 6 34 40 -6 65 5 0 1 101 5.9 $2,768,587

33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6' 3" 247 23 77 15 16 31 7 81 3 0 4 202 7.4 $3,000,000

22 R Troy Brouwer 6' 2" 213 23 69 10 16 26 7 50 4 1 0 126 7.9 $675,000

7 D Brent Seabrook 6' 3" 220 23 82 8 18 26 23 62 3 1 1 132 6.1 $3,500,000

26 C Samuel Pahlsson 6' 0" 204 31 65 7 11 18 -17 34 1 0 2 88 8 $301,000

46 C Colin Fraser 6' 1" 188 23 81 6 11 17 3 55 0 1 0 67 9 $500,000

55 L Ben Eager 6' 2" 220 24 75 11 4 15 1 161 0 0 0 80 13.8 $568,000

8 D Matt Walker 6' 3" 214 28 65 1 13 14 7 79 0 0 0 83 1.2 $600,000

37 R Adam Burish 6' 1" 189 26 66 6 3 9 3 93 0 0 2 83 7.2 $712,500

23 D Aaron Johnson 6' 1" 211 25 38 3 5 8 19 33 0 0 1 27 11.1 $600,000

4 D Hammer 6' 2" 200 21 21 1 2 3 4 0 0 0 0 15 6.7 $643,000

5 D Brent Sopel 6' 1" 211 32 23 1 1 2 -4 8 0 0 1 15 6.7 $2,333,333

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary

39 Nikolai Khabibulin 6' 1" 209 36 42 2467 2.33 25 8 7 3 1192 96 .919 0 2 8 $6,750,000

38 Cristobal Huet 6' 1" 205 33 41 2351 2.53 20 15 4 3 1087 99 .909 0 0 2 $5,625,000

Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 35 2.55 46 24 12 6 28.6/g 209 0.910 0 2 10 $12,375,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000

CAP SPACE: $274,000**space also affected by buyouts and injured players

*injured

Injury ListBrent Sopel- Questionable (Talent)Patrick Sharp- Questionable (Knee)

Probable LinesLeft Wing Center Right Wing

24 Havlat 19 Toews 88 Kane10 Sharp 36 Bolland 32 Versteeg16 Ladd 26 Pahlsson 33 Byfuglien

22 Brouwer or 37 Burish

46 Fraser 55 Eager

Probable Pairings2 Keith 7 Seabrook

51 Campbell 4 Hjalmarsson8 Walker/ 23

Johnson25 Barker

Totals/Averages 6’ 1” 202.5 24.4 260 454 14.1/g 70 10 32.7/g 9.4% $44,607,000

Here’s one of our questions heading in: With Sharpie returning, what does that second line look like? Obvi-ously, Havlat and Daydream Nation are staying together. But a line of Sharp-Bolland-Verstud would seems to be short on size and grit. Is Bolland really expected to be the puck-winner on that? Seems an awful big ask.

Since being paired with the kids, Jesus H

. has 9 points in 7 gam

es.

Please Q, please please please, this guy in the lineup and not Dolt #8.

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit)12 R Jarome Iginla 6' 1" 207 31 82 35 54 89 -2 37 10 0 4 289 12.1 $7,000,000

13 L Mike Cammalleri 5' 9" 185 26 81 39 43 82 -2 44 19 0 6 255 15.3 $3,550,000

21 C Olli Jokinen 6' 3" 215 30 76 29 28 57 -12 67 9 2 3 236 12.3 $1,129,000

22 C Daymond Langkow 5' 10" 183 32 73 21 28 49 1 20 4 0 3 161 13 $4,500,000

24 C Craig Conroy 6' 2" 193 37 82 12 36 48 20 28 0 1 1 104 11.5 $1,050,000

3 D Dion Phaneuf 6' 3" 214 23 80 11 36 47 -11 100 4 0 4 277 4 $6,500,000

7 R Todd Bertuzzi 6' 3" 231 33 66 15 29 44 -13 74 6 0 4 127 11.8 $1,950,000

20 L Curtis Glencross 6' 1" 195 25 74 13 27 40 14 42 1 1 3 152 8.6 $1,200,000

17 L Rene Bourque 6' 2" 213 26 58 21 19 40 18 70 0 1 0 149 14.1 $1,350,000

25 R David Moss 6' 3" 200 26 81 20 19 39 -5 22 8 0 4 194 10.3 $550,000

33 D Adrian Aucoin 6' 2" 212 35 81 10 24 34 -8 46 3 0 3 126 7.9 $4,000,000

55 D Adam Pardy 6' 2" 206 24 83 7 17 24 -15 24 1 0 1 107 6.5 $500,000

16 C Dustin Boyd 6' 0" 187 22 71 11 11 22 -11 10 1 1 3 74 14.9 $741,100

6 D Cory Sarich 6' 4" 207 30 76 2 18 20 12 112 0 0 0 57 3.5 $3,600,000

5 D Mark Giordano 6' 0" 203 25 58 2 17 19 2 59 2 0 0 82 2.4 $861,667

40 D Leopold! Leopold! 6' 1" 200 28 27 8 8 16 2 17 0 0 0 50 16 $323,000

45 C Jamie Lundmark 6' 0" 197 28 60 1 9 10 3 69 0 0 0 38 2.6 $184,000

23 L Eric Nystrom 6' 1" 193 25 76 5 5 10 -7 89 0 1 3 83 6 $687,000

28 D Robyn Regehr 6' 3" 225 28 75 0 8 8 10 73 0 0 0 79 0 $4,020,000

4 D James Vandermeer 6' 1" 211 28 45 1 6 7 1 108 0 0 0 31 3.2 $2,300,000

19 C Wayne Primeau 6' 4" 225 32 24 0 4 4 -3 14 0 0 0 22 0 $1,400,000

27 R Andre Roy 6' 4" 229 33 44 3 0 3 -1 83 0 0 1 26 11.5 $550,000

59 R David Van Der Gulik 5' 10" 173 25 6 0 2 2 -1 0 0 0 0 11 0 $31,000

...ARE HERE!!!!. CHECK SECOND CITY HOCK-EY.COM FOR DETAILS

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary

34 Miikka Kiprusoff 6' 1" 184 32 76 4418 2.84 45 24 5 4 2155 209 0.903 0 3 2 $5,833,333

1 Curtis McElhinney 6' 2" 193 25 14 518 3.59 1 6 1 0 280 31 0.889 0 0 2 $500,000

Totals/Averages 6' 1" 198 25 2.57 40 29 10 11 27.9/g 211 .904 0 0 2 $6,333,333

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $58,861,000

CAP SPACE: $189,000*space also affected by buyouts and injured players

calgary flickers 46-30-6

* injured

Injury ListRhett Warrener- Out (Shoulder)Mark Giordano- Doubtful (Shoulder)Robin Regehr- Doubtful (Lower body)Cory Sarich- Questionable (Foot)Rene Bourque- Questionable (Ankle)Andre Roy- Questionable (Upper body)

Probable LinesLeft Wing Center Right Wing

13 Cammalleri 21 Jokinen 12 Iginla17 Bourque 22 Langkow 7 Bertuzzi23 Nystrom 24 Conroy 25 Moss

20 Glencross 16 Boyd 45 Lundmark

Probable Pairings3 Phaneuf 4 Vandermeer55 Pardy 33 Aucoin

40 Leopold 8 Eriksson

Totals/Averages 6' 2" 204.8 28.2 251 327 15.8/g 61 7 32.2/g 9.0% $52,200,000

Olli is a -7 in the 19 games he’s been a Flame, which would work out to a cool -47 over a full year.

This is fifth-worst in the league. If the Hawks PP can find itself again, this series could be over quick.

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The Committed Indian’s Guide To Playoff Hockey

It’s been so long, we thought you might need a reminder on how your life, and the lives of those around you, will be affected over the coming weeks.

Your Family

This is the hard one. Tell your kids that they’d better tape any recitals or baseball games, you ain’t makin’ it. They have the option of just retelling the story of your absence on a therapist’s couch when they won’t move in with their girlfriend at age 23. Explain to your daughter that you’ll probably forget her name for a couple months. As for your significant other, be prepared to pay for a lot of din-ners over the summer, you’ll have debts to pay. Unless he/she is just as big of a fan as you are, in which case pre-pare for sex after overtime wins that will make you believe in a higher power.

Your Health

Going straight into the toilet, and at times literally. Stress, booze, and nicotine do not a healthy person make. Do try and remember those celebrations of series clinchers that go to 4am will mean a couple years off your life at the end. That’s cool, though, you don’t want to be trip-ping over your scrotum on the way from the chiropractor. It’s a terrible way to live. Stress is the big concern here. We’ve heard yoga, exercise, and meditation help relieve it, but that’s for Sharks fans. You’ll need straight-up whis-key. Your liver is going to have a “ Help Wanted” sign by Round 2. If the Hawks go through more than one double-overtime game, give up on ever meeting your grandkids.

Your Friends

Except for the person sitting next to you, here will be your only friends for the next few weeks at least. Your female friends will be busy helping your wife finish her divorce papers, or your introducing your husband to Jill from work. Your other friends will be caught up in the NBA or using this opportunity to make themselves look good to their own families by pointing out what a raving moron you’ve become, especially after Brouwer shoots a puck off his own face in overtime. Face it, from here on out, you’re going to see Josh Mora as THE model human be-ing, and let Steve Konroyd’s serene voice make you forget everything. You’ll think Brian Engblom has a decent haircut, and actually knows something. And you’ll be so deeply saddened at having to put up with Pierre McGuire for so long you’ll seriously consider suicide.

Your Boss and Co-workers

First off, kindly explain to the boss that if he values the stock of his company, he will not put you in front of any clients for a couple months, as your oh-so manly playoff beard will scare them off, containing leftover sausage and perhaps a small woodland creature, as it does. Your reeking of booze and tears might only be incidental to said playoff beard, but it’d be better to blame it on that either way. You don’t need a bunch of asswipes telling you the company health plan covers mental health, though that’s not a bad thing to know. Don’t use up sick time early. Your co-workers need to know how utterly useless you’re going to be during the Hawks run. If you play your cards right, they’ll let you “work from home” for the duration, i.e. save themselves of having to smell you.

What To Watch For: Well, this is the playoffs, so it’s unlikely anyone’s going to want to step out of line. However, one’s not out of the question, and with as amped as the building will be tonight, something could spill over. The Flames will be determined to assert their supe-rior physicallity, it’s all they have, so maybe Eager or Walker will have to step up to the plate early. Won’t be a payday weekend in Musko-

gee, but there may be a kerfluffle.

Team Opp PPG PP%DET 353 90 25.5WSH 337 85 25.2SJS 360 87 24.2BOS 313 74 23.6ANA 309 73 23.6PHI 316 71 22.5BUF 358 75 21STL 351 72 20.5MIN 328 66 20.1OTT 339 66 19.5ATL 357 69 19.3CHI 363 70 19.3MTL 374 72 19.2LAK 360 69 19.2NJD 307 58 18.9

Team OPP PPG PP%TOR 330 62 18.8VAN 357 67 18.8CAR 374 70 18.7TBL 343 61 17.8PIT 360 62 17.2

CGY 358 61 17EDM 354 60 17NYI 320 54 16.9FLA 308 51 16.6COL 318 50 15.7NSH 318 50 15.7DAL 351 54 15.4PHX 344 50 14.5NYR 346 48 13.9CBJ 322 41 12.7

Power PlayTeam TS PPGA PK%NYR 329 40 87.8MIN 291 36 87.6STL 357 58 83.8CGY 349 58 83.4SJS 306 51 83.3PHI 393 67 83LAK 362 62 82.9PIT 347 60 82.7FLA 311 54 82.6NSH 338 59 82.5MTL 370 65 82.4BOS 306 54 82.4CBJ 346 62 82.1BUF 336 61 81.8OTT 346 64 81.5

Team TS PPGA PK%VAN 371 69 81.4WSH 387 75 80.6CHI 330 64 80.6CAR 301 59 80.4NJD 324 65 79.9COL 318 64 79.9NYI 361 73 79.8ANA 385 78 79.7DAL 327 70 78.6DET 327 71 78.3TBL 405 89 78EDM 338 76 77.5PHX 293 68 76.8ATL 366 88 76TOR 308 78 74.7

Penalty Kill

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Nose

Black Eye

Bruised Ego

Just Dancing

Analysis

1-4-09 Walker vs.Roy

2nd.7:41 √ √ Eventful one here, both men throw and land

some real big shots. Call it a draw, but don’t call us Shirley

1-4-09 Eager vs.Regehr

2nd.7:37 √ Eager takes exception to something resem-

bling an elbow, maybe, from Regehr, so he takes some fists instead. Regehr in KO.

1-4-09 Fraser vs.Giordano

1st.9:41 √ Whatever.

11-09-08 Brower vs.Prust

3rd.2:01 √ Brouwer’s first foray into NHL fisticuffs,

acquits himself nicely with Calgary nutjob Prust. But Prust in a decision.

11-09-08 Walker vs.Prust

3rd.15:11 √ A long, drawn -out affair where nothing much

happens, despite a couple spirited attempts. Like drunken sex. Or life.

HAWKS vs. FLAMESFight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

The Fight Card

Spotlight

Mike Keenan

ShouldtheFlamesfallflatontheirassinthisround,weverywellmayhaveseenthelastofthisnarcissisticjackassbehindanNHLbench.Afterall,there’shardlyanyEarthhehasn’tscorchedandleftforabiggerpaydayandmoremustachewaxelsewhere.WhetherKeenanstaysorgoes,hewillhaveamajorhandinprettymuchfuckingtheFlamesoversidewaysintheyearstocome.Here’sateamsomushedupagainstthecaptheycouldn’tcallupanyreplacementsforinjurieslateintheyearandhadtoskateshortaman,ortwo,orthree.DarrylSutteristheGM,yousay?Asifheisn’tstraightoutoftheKeenanmold,andyoubetterbelievehewastakingdirec-tivesfromthelittlegeneral.AlexTanguayandKristianHuseliuswereshownthedoorinthesummer,theyweren’tKeenanplayers.IncameBertuzzi,Roy,Glencross,andotherstofittheKeenan“hit-or-die”mentality.What’dthatleave?TheFlameshadtogooutandgetmoreskillinMarchwithJokinenandLeopold,anyway.We’resureFlamesfanshavebeenthrilledwithwatchingBertuzzi’sfugitive,lazyassoozebacktohisownzonewhiletheotherteamisscoring.WhileKeenanandSutterweresoconcernedwithgettinggritandsand--liketheywerebuildingafuckingbarbequepitorsomething--otherpremierteamswereworriedaboutskatingrightaroundtheirass.TheFlamesrecordagainsttheothertopteamsisalmostlaughable,andit’snosecretwhy. ButKeenan’sbiggestmistakehasbeenhishandling--actually,trymauling,ormolesting,orstraight-upabusing--ofMikkaKiprusoff.HowmanyyearsdoesittakewithKipperstumblingtotheendoftheseason,steppingoninFinnishtongue,toprovehecan’thandle70gamesayear?CheckoutKipper’sGAAthepastthreeplayoffs:2.24,2.81,3.21.Quick,getBillPetersoninheretoseeifapat-terncanbedetected.WithJokinenappearingtobethelimitedplayerhealwayswastoeveryoneelse,andtheFlamesd-corpslookingliketheyjustcameoutofTheSomme,theFlamesonlychancewastohaveKiprusoffcarrythem.Hemightstill,ifhecanevergetKeenan,hiswhip,andhissaddleoffofhim.

The Committed Indian is printed by Royal Omega Graphics- Elk Grove, IL847-952-8000

kagroyalo@aol.com

KNOW THY ENEMY

Hawks-Flames: the Last 4

Feb. 5th, 2009: Hawks 5, Flames 2The grunts take this one. Ladd, Bolland, Burish, Fraser, and Brouwer score to see of the Flames.

Matt Walker has 3 assists, and apparently Q hasn’t watched any of his performances since.

Jan. 4th, 2009: Flames 2, Hawks 5Hawks recover from Winter Classic bitch-slap by passing it on to the Flames. Ladd, VerStud with a shorty, and Buff blow it open in the 2nd. Kipper

gets pulled before 3rd, one of 4 periods he’s missed in 21 years or something.

Dec. 19th, 2008: Hawks 3, Flames 2Captain Marvel undresses Phaneuf and leaves a rebound that Keith slams home for an overtime

winner. Kane and Bolland cancel out goals from Bourque and Moss in one of best games of season.

Nov. 8th, 2008: Flames 1, Hawks 6Hawks maul a flu-ridden Calgary side. Both Kane and Havlat have a goal and 2 assists. Captain Mar-

vel finally tallies first of the year, and Hawks passing is as crisp as we’ve seen all season. Or decade.

Tonight, Kent from Matchsticks and Gasoline (matchsticksand-gasoline.com), simply the best-titled hockey blog around, and Matt from Battle of Alberta will be our tour guide through the world of the Flames.Things didn’t quite work out after that Jokinen trade, did they? What happened?Kent: A couple of things:1.) The bounces went bad after Jokinen’s initial offensive outburst. The team ended the season with an 0-41 streak on the PP which has something to do with coaching and execution, no doubt, but is also about cruel hockey gods. The Flames managed two PP goals during that stretch that were waved off by Eric Fur-latt and there wasn’t a favorable bounce off a shin-pad or skate to be had. 2.) I was pensive about the trade from the start. Jokinen’s gawdy career goal totals obscure the fact that he’s an awfully flawed hockey player. He’s lousy at face-offs, lost in his own end of the ice and, as we’re slowly learning in Calgary, has fairly poor puck management skills. Jokinen certainly has a few strengths (size, speed, laser accurate shot) that make him dangerous in certain areas of the ice, but he’s almost totally useless otherwise. He’s never excelled at even-strength or against tough competition his entire career and things haven’t changed since he became a Flame.Matt: He’s just not that great a hockey player. For being a patented Big Body Up The Middle, he gets stripped of the puck, or just plained knocked off it, with regrettable ease. He’s a guy who needs to be putting it in the net, because he doesn’t help your team in other ways (creating chances for linemates, prevent-ing chances against, etc.) That said, the record after he came on board can’t be blamed on him -- there’s been a host of factors.What are Flames fans thinking about this series?Kent: The mood is fairly grim. Not only did CHI dominate Cal-gary all year, but a combination of factors (goaltending, injuries, poor cap management, the aforementioned PP swoon) resulted in the Flames stumbling down the stretch worse than perhaps any other play-off bound club. On top of all that, no one knows when

or if Calgary’s best defensemen - Robyn Regehr - will return to the line-up. What year will it be that Keenan learns he can’t grind Kipru-soff into dust every year? If you lose in the first round again, would Keenan’s position be in jeopardy after such expecta-tions?Kent: Keenan will never, ever learn this lesson. As an NHL coach he’s always, ALWAYS ground down his goaltenders. Keenan is a big time fan of picking roster favorites and sticking with them as much as possible. Despite the fact that Kiprusoff was having his worst season as a Calgary Flame, Iron Mike still decide to ride him as if he was Martin Brodeur. It wasn’t all that effective a strategy. Matt: He’s the 3rd coach in a row to employ Kipper in precisely the same fashion, so Kipper’s decline -- and yes, there has been a significant and steady decline since the lockout -- isn’t on Keenan. I would expect that if the Flames make their 4th straight one-and-done, both the coach and GM positions will be seriously evaluated. It wasn’t Keenan who managed the roster to within hundreds of dollars of the cap, such that they had to roll with 15 skaters when they were trying to win the division.What Hawks player scares you most?Matt: Havlat, without a doubt. He’s been a terrific player (when healthy) for years, but based on this season, I think he’s the best player in this series (sorry Jarome). He and Ladd/Bolland just fustigated Iginla’s line head-to-head all 4 games this season.Your blueline is incredibly beat up, can you overcome that?Kent: We’re still unsure as to how beat up the various players are. I’d say that if Regehr is indeed scheduled to miss the entire first round (as is rumored), the Flames are extremely unlikely to advance. Calgary was below overage in terms of preventing goals all season even with Reggie in the line-up. Without him (and against a potent club like Chicago) their chances fall consid-erably closer to zero. My prediction is Hawks in 6.Matt: Maybe! It would help if the Phaneuf of 12 months ago showed up and displaced the Poor Man’s Ed Jovanovski cur-rently sporting the #3.

NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING

Aaron Johnson -0.05 -0.18 11.89 3.45 1.33 2.13 2.27 1.98 0.29 1.84

N. Hjalmarsson -0.02 -0.1 12.78 2.01 1.12 0.89 2.41 2.75 -0.34 1.24

Andrew Ladd 0.11 0.14 12.88 3.58 2.27 1.31 2.31 2.01 0.29 1.02

Martin Havlat 0.05 0.12 13.57 3.77 2.57 1.2 2.22 1.9 0.32 0.88

Duncan Keith 0.08 0.11 18.61 3.18 2.18 1.01 2.48 2.16 0.32 0.69

Dave Bolland 0.09 0.27 12.57 3.24 2.42 0.83 2.44 1.99 0.45 0.38

Adam Burish -0.08 -0.15 7.23 2.14 1.38 0.75 2.75 2.2 0.55 0.2

Brent Seabrook 0.09 0.24 16.65 2.77 2.11 0.66 2.61 2.07 0.53 0.13

Jonathan Toews 0.01 -0.04 13.41 2.95 2.29 0.65 2.55 2 0.55 0.11

Troy Brouwer 0.02 -0.07 11.5 2.34 1.74 0.61 2.79 2.21 0.58 0.02

Dustin Byfuglien 0 -0.03 11.98 2.08 1.5 0.59 2.94 2.36 0.58 0

Matt Walker -0.03 -0.11 14.16 2.54 1.96 0.59 2.59 1.92 0.67 -0.08

Kris Versteeg 0.01 -0.1 12.1 2.42 1.97 0.45 2.77 2.21 0.55 -0.11

Patrick Kane 0.02 -0.04 13.82 2.6 2.33 0.27 2.57 2.02 0.54 -0.27

Colin Fraser -0.11 -0.18 7.82 2.08 1.71 0.38 2.82 2.13 0.69 -0.31

Ben Eager -0.11 -0.15 8.41 2.19 1.9 0.29 2.76 2.04 0.71 -0.42

Brian Campbell -0.03 -0.03 16.92 2.68 2.38 0.3 2.66 1.92 0.74 -0.44

Patrick Sharp 0 -0.01 12.94 2.58 2.13 0.46 2.88 1.94 0.94 -0.48

Cam Barker -0.03 -0.04 13.33 1.99 2.38 -0.4 2.84 1.95 0.89 -1.29

Samuel Pahlsson 0.07 -0.57 12.58 1.69 2.49 -0.81 2.84 1.96 0.88 -1.69

Brent Sopel -0.1 -0.09 10.89 2.16 3.11 -0.96 3.22 2.25 0.97 -1.93

Hockey SabermetricsCHICAGO

Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key:QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calcu-lated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60,GAON/60-Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60.

Player GFON/60

Cam Barker 9.69

Troy Brouwer 8.2

Patrick Sharp 7.93

Patrick Kane 7.84

Jonathan Toews 7.43

Brian Campbell 7.16

Martin Havlat 5.91

Dustin Byfuglien 5.74

Duncan Keith 5.73

Brent Seabrook 5.16

Kris Versteeg 5.1

Player GA/60

Troy Brouwer 4.98

Aaron Johnson 5.25

Adam Burish 5.93

Brent Sopel 6.43

Duncan Keith 6.44

Colin Fraser 6.67

Brent Seabrook 6.68

Samuel Pahlsson 7.23

Cam Barker 7.38

Kris Versteeg 7.38

Matt Walker 7.72

Dave Bolland 8.81

N. Hjalmarsson 15.41

Power Play RatingsThis is a measure of a team’s goals-for per 60 minutes of player being on the

ice on the power play.

Penalty Kill RatingsThis measures how many goals a team

gives up per 60 minutes the player is on the ice on the PK.

Corsi RatingShots attempted for a team vs. how many are at-

tempted against while a given player is on the ice, per 60 min.

NAME CORSI

Jonathan Toews 16.6

Martin Havlat 15.8

Brian Campbell 14.1

Andrew Ladd 13.8

Patrick Kane 13.2

Troy Brouwer 13.1

Patrick Sharp 12.9

Duncan Keith 12.7

Kris Versteeg 11.9

Brent Seabrook 11.7

Dustin Byfuglien 11.3

Dave Bolland 10.7

Cam Barker 9.4

Matt Walker 8.1

Ben Eager 7.4

Adam Burish 6.9

Aaron Johnson 4.9

Colin Fraser 2.7

N. Hjalmarsson 2.5

Brent Sopel -4.3

Samuel Pahlsson -10.1

Penalties Drawn vs. Taken

NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60

Adam Burish 1.8 1.4

Patrick Kane 1.5 0.9

Jonathan Toews 1.4 0.8

Ben Eager 1.4 2.3

Kris Versteeg 1.3 0.6

Colin Fraser 1.3 0.6

Patrick Sharp 1.3 0.8

Andrew Ladd 1.2 0.6

Dave Bolland 1.2 0.8

Dustin Byfuglien 1.2 1.2

Martin Havlat 1.1 0.5

Troy Brouwer 1.1 0.8

Aaron Johnson 0.8 1.6

Brent Sopel 0.5 1

Brian Campbell 0.4 0.4

Samuel Pahlsson 0.4 1

Brent Seabrook 0.3 0.8

Matt Walker 0.3 0.7

Duncan Keith 0.1 0.8

Cam Barker 0.1 0.7

N. Hjalmarsson 0 0

Face-offsPlayer Face-Offs Taken FO%

Jonathan Toews 1287 54.7

Samuel Pahlsson 1237 53.5

Colin Fraser 787 47.8

Dave Bolland 1177 44.4

Total Rank: 23rd 48.1

Hockey Sabermetrics

Player GAON/60

Wayne Primeau 4.11

Eric Nystrom 4.55

Adrian Aucoin 4.66

J. Vandermeer 4.73

Dustin Boyd 4.81

Robyn Regehr 5.19

Rene Bourque 6.24

Cory Sarich 6.42

Jordan Leopold 6.55

Craig Conroy 7.04

Dion Phaneuf 7.2

Curtis Glencross 8.89

Rick Nash 7.59

Chris Gratton 8.37

Power Play RatingsThis is a measure of a team’s goals for per 60 minutes of player being on the

ice on the power play.

Penalty Kill RatingsThis measures how many goals a team gives up per 60 minutes the

player is on the ice on the PK.

Corsi RatingThis measures how many shots are attempted for a team vs. how many are attempted against while a

given player is on the ice, per 60 min.

NAME CORSI

David Van der Gulik 26.1

David Moss 23.8

Wayne Primeau 23.4

Mark Giordano 21.4

Curtis Glencross 19.2

Craig Conroy 15.9

D. Langkow 14.1

Adrian Aucoin 13.3

Adam Pardy 12.9

Eric Nystrom 12.9

M. Cammalleri 12.2

J. Vandermeer 11.1

Cory Sarich 10.9

Dion Phaneuf 10.4

Jarome Iginla 8.8

Rene Bourque 8

Jamie Lundmark 6.2

Robyn Regehr 6.2

Todd Bertuzzi 5.9

Dustin Boyd 4.2

Jordan Leopold 2.3

Olli Jokinen -3

Penalties Drawn vs. Taken

NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60

Jarome Iginla 1.7 0.4

Craig Conroy 1.5 0.8

Curtis Glencross 1.3 0.8

Jamie Lundmark 1.2 0.8

Rene Bourque 1.1 1.5

M. Cammalleri 1.1 0.5

D. Langkow 1.1 0.4

David Moss 1.1 0.8

Todd Bertuzzi 1.1 1.4

Dion Phaneuf 1 0.7

Mark Giordano 0.9 1.4

Eric Nystrom 0.8 0.8

Olli Jokinen 0.7 1.3

Wayne Primeau 0.7 1.1

Dustin Boyd 0.7 0.4

J. Vandermeer 0.6 0.9

Adam Pardy 0.6 1.7

Robyn Regehr 0.4 1.2

Jordan Leopold 0.4 0.4

Cory Sarich 0.3 1.5

Adrian Aucoin 0.2 0.7

Face-offsPlayer Face-Offs Taken FO%

Mike Cammalleri 368 60.2

Craig Conroy 1382 52.8

Jarome Iginla 502 52.5

D. Langkow 753 46.9

Total: Rank: 10th 51.3

Player GFON/60

M. Cammalleri 7.13

Dion Phaneuf 6.75

Jarome Iginla 6.58

D. Langkow 6.06

Todd Bertuzzi 6.02

Adrian Aucoin 6

Olli Jokinen 5.79

Mark Giordano 5.55

Jamie Lundmark 4.29

Jordan Leopold 3.88

NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING

Rene Bourque 0.04 0.07 12.27 3.88 2.19 1.69 2.53 2.79 -0.26 1.95

Craig Conroy -0.03 0.14 12.08 3.7 2.6 1.09 2.57 2.73 -0.16 1.25

Curtis Glencross -0.01 0.05 11.82 3.29 2.4 0.89 2.57 2.82 -0.25 1.14

Cory Sarich -0.02 0.01 14.21 2.45 1.67 0.78 3.13 3.16 -0.03 0.8

J. Vandermeer -0.13 -0.02 13.89 2.98 2.98 0 2.49 2.89 -0.39 0.39

Jarome Iginla -0.01 0.1 15.77 3.39 2.97 0.42 2.59 2.54 0.05 0.37

Jamie Lundmark -0.13 -0.28 11.54 2.7 2.31 0.39 3.02 2.95 0.07 0.32

M. Cammalleri -0.03 0.19 13.02 3.3 2.96 0.34 2.69 2.59 0.09 0.25

D. Langkow -0.03 -0.01 12.83 2.56 2.31 0.26 2.87 2.84 0.03 0.23

Mark Giordano -0.02 0.05 12.36 3.1 2.68 0.42 2.83 2.6 0.23 0.19

Olli Jokinen 0.02 -0.06 13.98 2.37 2.94 -0.56 2.06 2.55 -0.49 -0.07

Robyn Regehr 0.01 0.07 16.22 2.66 2.37 0.3 3.13 2.73 0.39 -0.1

Adam Pardy -0.07 0.05 13.54 2.59 2.44 0.15 2.96 2.71 0.25 -0.1

Dion Phaneuf -0.03 0.08 17.44 3.48 3.48 0 2.48 2.17 0.31 -0.31

Jordan Leopold -0.08 0.01 14.64 2.42 3.31 -0.89 2.2 2.62 -0.41 -0.48

Adrian Aucoin -0.02 0.07 14.44 2.62 2.72 -0.1 3.05 2.66 0.39 -0.5

David Moss -0.04 0.24 10.68 2.98 3.26 -0.28 2.84 2.47 0.37 -0.65

Wayne Primeau -0.16 -0.52 7.05 1.77 2.48 -0.71 2.73 2.73 0 -0.71

Todd Bertuzzi -0.05 0.15 13.88 2.62 3.14 -0.52 2.91 2.38 0.53 -1.06

Eric Nystrom -0.17 -0.32 7.29 0.97 1.95 -0.97 3.2 2.76 0.44 -1.41

Dustin Boyd -0.04 -0.05 9.59 2.2 3.17 -0.97 3.1 2.52 0.58 -1.55

D. Van der Gulik -0.21 -0.44 8.04 2.49 3.73 -1.24 3.98 3.19 0.8 -2.04

CALGARY

Referee Stats For The HawksReferees 1st NHL

GameHawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks

PK’s Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/

GameW L OTL

2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 3 14 17 10.3 4.7 5.7 3 0 0

3 Leggo, Mike 1997 5 19 22 8.2 3.8 4.4 4 0 1

4 McCauley, Wes 2003 5 11 14 5.0 2.2 2.8 2 2 0

5 Rooney, Chris 2000 2 6 2 4.0 3.0 1.0 2 0 0

6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 3 14 11 8.3 4.7 3.7 1 2 0

7 McCreary, Bill 1984 5 25 19 8.8 5 3.8 3 3 0

8 Jackson, Dave 1990 6 28 24 8.7 4.7 4.0 4 1 1

10 Devorski, Paul 1989 4 15 25 10 3.7 6.2 1 3 0

11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 2 11 14 12.5 5.5 7 0 2 0

12 Koharski, Don 1981 4 19 20 9.8 4.8 5.0 3 0 1

13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 6 34 23 9.5 5.6 3.8 3 2 1

14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 6 28 24 8.6 4.3 4 4 1 1

15 Auger, Stephane 2000 5 25 17 8.4 5 3.4 4 0 1

16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1

18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 5 26 25 10.2 5.2 5.0 3 2 0

20 Peel, Tim 1999 5 21 20 8.2 4.2 4.2 3 2 0

21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 4 17 10 6.7 4.2 2.5 2 0 2

23 Watson, Brad 1996 4 15 8 5.7 3.7 2 2 1 1

25 Joannette, Marc 1999 3 19 7 8.6 6.3 2.3 2 0 1

26 Martell, Rob 1996 1 3 1 4.0 3.0 1.0 1 0 0

27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 6 27 26 8.8 4.5 4.3 2 3 1

28 Lee, Chris 2001 2 11 10 10.5 5.5 5 1 1 0

29 Walsh, Ian 2000 2 2 5 3.5 1.0 2.5 1 1 0

30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 5 26 24 9.6 5.2 4.8 1 2 2

32 Kowal, Tom 2000 5 16 13 5.8 3.2 2.6 5 0 0

33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 4 14 15 7.2 3.5 3.7 1 1 2

34 Meier, Brad 1999 5 17 23 8.0 3.4 4.6 4 1 0

35 Warren, Dean 1999 - - - - - - - - -

36 Morton, Dean 2000 3 24 13 12.3 8.0 4.3 1 1 1

38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1

39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 5 30 24 10.8 6 4.8 3 0 2

40 Kozari, Steve 2006 5 30 23 10.6 6 4.6 2 2 1

42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 3 17 15 10.6 5.6 5 2 0 1

43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 3 12 14 8.6 4 4.6 2 1 0

45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 6 29 26 9.2 4.8 4.3 3 1 2

NHL FINAL REGULAR SEASON LEADERSPoints

Player Team P

1 Evgeni Malkin PIT 1132 A. Ovechkin WAS 1103 S. Crosby PIT 1034 Pavel Datsyuk DET 975 Zach Parise NJ 9422 Martin Havlat CHI 77

Goals

Player Team G

1 A. Ovechkin WAS 562 Jeff Carter PHI 463 Zach Parise NJ 454 I. Kovalchuk ATL 435 Rick Nash NSH 4018 J. Toews CHI 34

GAA

Player Team GAA

1 Tim Thomas BOS 2.102 Steve Mason CBJ 2.293 N. Backstrom MIN 2.334 N.Khabibulin CHI 2.335 R. Luongo VAN 2.34

SV%

Player Team SV%

1 Tim Thomas BOS .9332 T. Vokoun FLA .9263 Craig Anderson FLA .9244 N. Backstrom MIN .9235 R. Luongo VAN .9206 N.Khabibulin CHI .919

Well, well, well, what have we here? Looks to me like we’ve got a bit of playoff hockey on our hands. What a delicious treat! Like getting halfway through an ice cream sundae and discov-ering more toppings on the bottom! Like getting to the register and realizing that the blouse you were willing to pay full price for is 50% off! Oh right, right, they warned me about being a girl and stuff. So…it’s like taking a girl home from the bar and realizing that no, those aren’t fake! Those are REAL! (Editor’s Note: We’re totally in love) Yes, postseason hockey is many things to many people. It’s at least four more games of Khabby heroics, Kaner’s mouthpiece mastication, and Keith’s deadly defense. At least 240 more minutes of Havlat highlights, Captain Marvel-ousness, and fodder for future Versteeg Facts. It’s at least four more excuses to stroll into work late and hungover, and four more chances to wear that $250 Winter Classic jersey you bought instead of getting your kids Christmas presents. ‘Course I think it’ll be more than four, but let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, hmm? All that matters now is Thursday night. When the Calgary Flames skate onto the ice at the United Center and hear the nearly 23,000 strong screaming their f’in faces off during the Anthem, my bet is that a little part of each of their souls dies. And when the Blackhawks witness the madness that is their 45th straight sellout, even those that weren’t there will remember the roar. It’s been seven years since anyone has worn the Indian Head in a postseason contest and 12 years since the last time a Blackhawks player scored a playoff goal at the United Center. The last time the Hawks were in the postseason I was a senior in college, studying the fine art of binge drinking and taking advantage of virile underclassmen. So really, not a lot has changed for me. But for a lot of the Hawks, 2002 feels like half a lifetime ago. Youngsters like Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, and Niklas Hjalmarsson were barely teenagers, hording back issues of Tiger Beat and listening to Color Me Badd. Wait, that was me again. Maybe it was Sports Illustrated and Nelly. Either way, they were young. They still are young. And that youth is as exciting as it is petrifying. 14 members of the Chicago Blackhawks have no playoff experience. Only five were in the league when the Hawks last made the postseason. Just three—Khabby, Andrew Ladd and Sami Pahls-son—have won it all. Then again, these Hawks have done things teams of sea-soned veterans never have. They’ve come together when it mattered, scoring points in 12 of their last 14 games of the season. They’ve tied or broken franchise records in win streaks (9), road wins (22) and Jesus-like resurrections (1). These Hawks are the only team in the NHL to improve their record in each of the last four years. Will their lack of experience hurt them? Maybe, but every team has to start somewhere. Every current Stanley Cup winner was at one time a playoff novice. The Blackhawks now have the man-agement behind them, the fans around them, and the talent within them, to be the next great hockey dynasty.

If you wanna see lack of playoff experience, you need look no farther than the man the Flames are claiming as savior: Olli Jokinen. Jokin-en, who was acquired at the trade deadline and hasn’t faced Chicago as a Flame, has played in a league-record 799 regular-season games without ever making a playoff appearance. The Flames’ leading goal-scorer, Mike Cammalleri, has also never laced up his skates for the postseason. Truth is, as this Hawks team has been steadily improving, the Flames have hit a wall. Calgary hasn’t advanced out of the first round of the playoffs in their last three chances. For many of them, then, their experience with the playoffs is LOSING in them. And its losing they’ve done lately. The Flames head into Thursday’s game having lost six of their last 10 games, going 0-for-43 on the power play during that stretch. Calgary notched just a 2-9-0 record in its last 11 road contests and newly acquired Golden

Boy, Jokinen, is scoreless in 13 straight games and plus-rated in just three of those. Neither Jarome Iginla nor Cammalleri found the back of the net in their season series with the Hawks and the two were both minus-nine overall in those four games. Ouch. When it comes down to it, I’ll take talent over experience any day, and this Blackhawks team is talented. From surprising rookie contributions (Versteeg, the Hammer) to veterans returning to glory (Khabby, Havlat) everyone has contributed. (Well, maybe not Sopel). 1 0 players have 40 points or more. Five players have 20 goals or more. Only one coach has the sickest ‘stache in the league and only one city has the highest attendance in the league. That’s the thing: not only is this team melt-your-

face-off good, their fan base is too. This was my first year covering the Blackhawks and part of my gig was to find out what Hawks fans want and to give it to them (within reason). From message boards to signings, games to practices, the fans were knowledgeable, friendly, and tremendously loyal to their team. I’ve enjoyed almost every second I’ve spent diving deep into the gooey masses of Indian Head Nation (yeah, it’s as hot as it sounds). Adam Burish said of Thursday night, “I can’t wait to hear that National Anthem…I’m sure my ears are gonna be bleeding for how loud [the fans] are gonna be screaming.”

Let’s make ‘em bleed, guys.

Sarah Spain has covered the Chicago Blackhawks all season for MouthpieceSports.com. Spain is convinced her long-awaited return to the city of Chicago after years in LA was the final catalyst that fueled the Hawks’ recent surge to greatness. You can find her articles and interviews online at MouthpieceSports.com and www.Sarah-Spain.net. She’s also the first female to contribute to The Indian this season, so that should keep that lawsuit off our ass.

What Better Place Than Here? What Better Time Than Now?

Sarah Spain

Lady of Spain

The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT2008-2009 Samuel Pahlsson (COL 7th round 1996) and

Logan Stephenson (PHX 2nd round 2004) from ANA for James Wisniewski (CHI 5th round 2002) and Petri Kontiola (CHI 7th round 2004)

Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001)Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998)Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001)

2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from PHI for Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000)Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations.Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001)

Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995)

2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003)Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001)

2005-2006 Niklas Hjalmarsson (4th round) Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from PHI for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006

Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round 1992)

2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round)Dave Bolland (2nd round)Troy Brouwer (7th round)

2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round)Dustin Byfuglien (8th round)

Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Jim Van-dermeer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990)

2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round)Adam Burish (9th round)

COACHESHead Coach-Joel QuennevilleAssistant Coach-John TorchettiAssistant Coach-Mike HavilandAssistant Coach- Marc BergevinGoaltending Coach-Stephane Waite

GM HISTORYDale Tallon (2005-Present)Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long)Mike Smith (2001-2004)Bob Murray (1999-2000)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

The Making of The Calgary Flames

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT2008-2009 Olli Jokinen (LA 1st round 1997) from PHX for Mattew Lombardi

(CAL3rd round 2002), Brandon Prust (CAL 3rd round 2004), and 2009 or ‘10 1st round pickJordan Leopold (ANA 2nd round 1999) from COL for Lawrence Nycholat (MIN Undrafted FA 2000), Ryan Wilson, and 2009 2nd round pickMichael Cammalleri (LA 2nd round 2001) from LA for 2008 1st round pick.

Todd Bertuzzi (NYI 1st round 1993)Rene Bourque (CHI Undrafted FA 2004)Curtis Glencross (ANA Undrafted FA 2004)Jamie Lundmark (NYR 1st round 1999)Andre Roy (BOS 6th round 1994)

2007-2008 Adrian Aucoin (VAN 5th round 1992) and 2007 7th round pick from CHI for Andrei Zyuzin (SJ 1st round 1996) and Steve Marr (?)Jim Vandermeer (PHI Undrafted FA 2000) from PHI for 2009 3rd round pick

Cory Sarich (BUF 2nd round 1996)

2006-2007 Craig Conroy (MON 6th round 1990) from LA for Jamie Lundmark (NYR 1st round 1999), 2007 4th round pick, and 2008 2nd round pickWayne Primeau (BUF 1st round 1994) with Brad Stuart (SJ 1st round 1998) from BOS for Andrew Ference (PIT 8th round 1997) and Chuck Kobasew (CAL 1st round 2001)

Kyle Greentree (Undrafted FA)

2005-2006 Brett Sutter (6th round) Warren Peters (Undrafted FA)

2004-2005 Dustin Boyd (3rd round)Adam Pardy (6th round)

Daymond Langkow (TB 1st round 1995) from PHX for Denis Gauthier (CAL 1st round 1995) and Oleg Saprykin (CAL 1st round 1999)

Mark Giordano(Undrafted FA)

2003-2004 Dion Phaneuf (1st round) Rhett Warrener (FLA 2nd round 1994) and Steve Reinprecht (LA Undraft-ed FA 2000) from BUF for Chris Drury (QUE 3rd round 1994) and Steve Begin (CAL 2nd round 1996)Mikka Kiprusoff (SJ 5th round 1995) from SJ for 2005 3rd round pick

2002-2003 Eric Nystrom (1st round)Curtis McElhinney (6th round)David Van der Gulik (7th round)

2001-2002 David Moss (7th round)1997-1998 Robyn Regehr (COL 1st 1998), Rene Corbet (QUE 2nd round 1991), Wade

Belak (QUE 1st round 1994), and 2000 2nd round pick from COL for Theo Fleury (CAL 8th round 1987) and Chris Dingman (CAL 1st round 1994)

1995-1996 Jerome Iginla (DAL 1st round 1995) with Cory Millen (NYR 3rd round 1982) from DAL for Joe Nieuwendyk (CAL 2nd round 1985)

GM HISTORY2002-Present: Darryl Sutter2001-2002: Craig Button

1996-2001: Al Coates

COACHESHead Coach: Mike KeenanAsst. Coach: Jim PlayfairAsst. Coach: Rich Preston

Asst. Coach: Wayne FlemingAsst. Coach: Rob CooksonGoaltending Coach: David Marcoux

Playing at home............ 24-9-8Playing on road........... 22-15-4Scoring first.......... 33-5-5Opponent scores first........ 13-19-7Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 5-2-1Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 19-6-7Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0Committed Indian Editor scares small children outside ....24-10-8Playing on a Monday.............. 2-2-1 Playing on a Tuesday................ 7-4-0Playing on a Wednesday........... 10-1-4Playing on a Thursday.............. 2-3-0Playing on a Friday................ 6-4-4Playing on a Saturday............. 8-5-3Playing on a Sunday................ 11-5-0Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 45-22-11Are out-muscled by opponent.... 10-18-4Outshoot opponent....... 34-14-7Are outshot by opponent.... 12-10-5Havlat shies from contact......... 16-6-6Patrick Kane scores............... 12-7-3Jonathan Toews scores.......... 17-3-6Martin Havlat scores............. 18-4-2Patrick Sharp scores............ 16-4-2Dustin Byfuglien scores......... 9-2-1Dustin Byfuglien wins a foot-race??!!!!!..... 2-1-0Andrew Ladd scores............. 13-0-1Dave Bolland scores......... 11-1-5Adam Burish scores....... 3-2-1, and totally ruins that joke51 Phantom scores....... 3-2-1Duncan Keith scores........ 5-3-0Brent Seabrook scores...... 5-1-2VerStud scores.... 13-7-1Troy Brouwer scores.... 8-0-0Scoring a Power Play goal....... 31-10-10Not scoring a Power Play goal... 15-13-2Allowing a Power Play goal...... 20-18-10Not Allowing a Power Play goal....... 26-6-2Scoring a short-handed goal........... 6-2-0

Allowing a short-handed goal......... 2-4-1Taking 30 or more shots......... 33-16-8Taking less than 30 shots..... 13-8-4Allowing 30 shots or more...... 18-9-6Allowing 30 shots or less......... 28-15-6100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 23-8-81st of a back-to-back...... 6-6-32nd of a back-to-back..... 9-5-2Opponent played night before.... 11-5-2Taking more than 5 penalties..... 17-16-5Taking 5 or less penalties.... 29-8-7Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 8-5-7Burish takes a penalty....... 10-6-2Keith takes a penalty......... 14-5-3Sharp takes a penalty....... 10-3-2Toews takes a penalty..... 10-5-3Havlat takes a penalty.... 8-3-1Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-551 Phantom blows a coverage...... 28-20-9Toews is trying too hard...... 3-8-3At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 5-3-4No fights in 300 Level..... 19-5-4Playing Eastern Conference..... 9-7-3Playing Western Conference..... 37-18-9Playing Central Division...... 10-7-7Playing Northwest Division.... 12-6-1Playing Pacific Division 15-5-1Playing Atlantic Division 2-3-2Playing NASCAR Division 4-1-0Playing Northeast Division 3-2-1Playing in October.... 4-3-3Playing in November.... 6-3-3Playing in December...... 10-1-1Playing in January..... 7-6-1Playing in February..... 7-4-1Playing in March...... 6-7-2Playing in April...... 6-0-1UC plays really stupid goal song..... 24-5-8Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 3-11-4

Getting obliterated on face-offs....... 20-11-4Are even close on face-offs..... 26-13-8Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 39-18-12Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D during 4-on-4........ 39-17-12Pat Foley screws up a name...... 43-19-12Ice Crew wear skirts....... 8-1-3Ice Crew wear pants....... 3-1-0Ice Crew wear shorts.... 13-7-5Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-1-0Leading after 2 periods...... 35-2-4Losing after 2 periods...... 3-17-4Tied after 2 periods......... 8-5-4In overtime.......... 6-5In shootout....... 4-7Cam Barker plays....... 38-20-9Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 6-2-3Lacking a #2 center........ 38-22-9In 1-goal games..... 12-7-12In 2-goal games...... 16-7-0In 3-goal games....... 9-6-0In 4+ goal games...... 8-3-0Scoring 3+ goals..... 42-7-8Scoring less than 3 goals...... 4-16-4PA plays Ministry....... 0-0-0PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 24-9-8PA plays Stranglehold....... 8-3-4PA plays P.J. Harvey........ 0-0-0Fraser fights...... 7-3-1Burish fights....... 5-2-0Seabrook fights..... 1-0-0Barker fights......... 0-0-2Buff fights......... 1-1-2Sharp fights........ 1-0-0Eager fights.......... 10-4-2On Comcast...... 34-13-9On WGN....... 11-7-3On Vs........ 0-3-0On NBC.... 1-1-0Judd Sirott hates Adam Creighton.... 45-24-12

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