vi-6 i 10 ioaal no. 6 vjluv ,wu li - tech.mit.edutech.mit.edu/v66/pdf/v66-n3.pdf · the cumulative...

10
,ry 11, 1945 The Lormally only eports on the activi- p by the Gen- m M. Siebert, 2 with a total is two perma- manager and- ad elects addi- Lch individual on receives no litute Commit- me being from 3nd advertise- 7 is planning s, and is also peration with LI Clubs for an 1 to present )roved *T rtions aed ap- nsorship Hits roved: To The lard, General lications kal, 247, Edi- Lner, 247, Co- Donald S. fter a stormy session held im- iald A. Mains, iately after publication of the I Professional ent issue of The Tech, the Ad- i. Haverback, ory Council on Undergraduate am N. Freder- lications announced that strict Lan, Donald E. complete censorship would be rer, Ned A. osed upon all undergraduate etary; Budget lications. Virginia IH. Lma institute . e Council, acting under the mtives, William Ilium-steel alloy fist of Chair- David R. llow-a Kane, put the ban on TE.N., nan of oresh- Doo, Technique, and The Tech o Fes i such time as all the members iH. Ayer, 2-48. the present Managing Boards meeting were have graduated. It is with and Peter rL et dismay that we report that des were pres- will mean that the students of Semple, 246, Institute will be without free- nd Harvey S. of the press for a period of years. This figure is based the cumulative rating of past members. his stormy indictment, Boss- Kane made the following ement: "It is with the utmost satisfaction that I restrict pro- tion of these publications which e used the most illiterate lan- ge in their writing. Their i tment of important and grave es has produced a very deroga- I effect on student opinion. situation was finally brought. a head in this week's issue of, Tech which has brought stu- t journalism to rockbottom." plying to the indictment, we te the various editors' re- ks .. "Nuts!'" unquote. How- the students have raised such rotest in regard to stopping r reading of these fine publi- ons that black market booths be set up in the basement of ding 3. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~j~11 '" ' " '' I_~~H PATRONS AND PATRONESSES President and Mrs. Karl T. Compton Dr. and Mirs. James R. Killian, Jr. Prof. and Mrs. Leicester F. Hamilton Capt. and Mrs. William H. Buracker Prof. and Mrs. Erwin H. Schell Prof. and Mrs. James B. Rae Dean and Mrs. B. Alden Thresher Dean and Mrs. Thomas P. Pitre Mr. and Mrs. Horace S. Ford Mr. and Mrs. Delbert L. Rhind PROM COMMITTEE Chairman,. Richard J. O'Donnell and Phyl Burns George H. Browne and Rosamund Muldoon William J. Crawford and Elizabeth De Coster Daniel W. Greenbaum and Katherine Weiss Norman F. Muellen and Janet Reindel Peter L. Richman and Ruth Sailor Robert L. Seidler and Mary-Frances McGrath Robert Bowman_ WHO SAYSTHE J.P.'S FORMAL? Snapped outside the Imperial Ballroom of the Hotel Statler at the com- mencement of the Junior Prom of the Class of '47 The extra large brogans, prominent in the lower left hand corner of the pile belong to Dr. Compton. I .-, . . .: . '. X - _ X _ ec ,2V1, NO. 6 vJLUV ,wu . ...... ._-,_. - ___ Li IE LALYS 3 Frat Parties Scheduled For Saturday Night Approximately 350 couples dance tonight at the Junior Prom of the Class of '47, held in the Imperial Ballroom of the Hotel Statler. The dance will last until 1:00 ANM. In addition to the Prom tonight, three fraternity parties are sched. uled for tomorrow evening, with orchestras playing at all of them. These parties are at Chi Phi, 22 The Fenway, Phi Kappa, 229 Com- monwealth Avenue, and Phi Sigma Kappa, 487 Commollwealth Avenue. Admission will be by ticket stub only. Signing of Jimmie Lunceford, whose band is rated one of the best in the country, promises to make this year's Junior Prom the biggest social event of the season. The honor of which Jimmie and his orchestra are most proud is the winning of Metronome's "A" rating, which has been awarded to only a very few aggregations, among the others being Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw and Glenn Miller, Jimmie attributes his suc- cess to the fact that he has con- centrated on developing the band as a unit, rather than starring in- dividuals. Since Lunceford's band rose to popularity in 1934, it has played in ballrooms throughout the count;ry and has made numerous record- ings. Among the hits for which he is particularly noted are "What- cha Know, Joe," "Tain't What You Do," and "Blues in the Night." Dr. and Mrs. Karl T. Compton head the list of chaperones Lists of patrons and patronesses, 3. P. committeemen, ushers, and couples attending the dance appear on pages 4 and 5: f':t;:·S Of~:::.: ,. . 0E ,. L .~`'···t~::: · :·:; 1.'*:~~~~~:~: I~~~, *. .... ~ J I -, I.-~-· -- s I 10 IOAAl I. _ i I I I i III i 0 1 .1 -6 VI VIAMBRIDGE. MASS..R. FRIDAY9Y JANUAR~Y 18) LU45 P. AT

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Page 1: VI-6 I 10 IOAAl NO. 6 vJLUV ,wu Li - tech.mit.edutech.mit.edu/V66/PDF/V66-N3.pdf · the cumulative rating of past ... dance will last until 1:00 ANM. ... and has made numerous record-ings

,ry 11, 1945 TheLormally only

eportson the activi-p by the Gen-m M. Siebert,2 with a totalis two perma-manager and-ad elects addi-Lch individualon receives nolitute Commit-me being from3nd advertise-

7 is planning

s, and is alsoperation withLI Clubs for an1 to present

)roved *T rtions aed ap- nsorship Hits

roved: To Thelard, General licationskal, 247, Edi-Lner, 247, Co-

Donald S. fter a stormy session held im-iald A. Mains, iately after publication of the

I Professional ent issue of The Tech, the Ad-i. Haverback, ory Council on Undergraduate

am N. Freder- lications announced that strictLan, Donald E. complete censorship would berer, Ned A. osed upon all undergraduateetary; Budget lications.

Virginia IH.Lma institute . e Council, acting under the

mtives, William Ilium-steel alloy fist of Chair-

David R. llow-a Kane, put the ban on TE.N.,nan of oresh- Doo, Technique, and The Tech

o Fes i such time as all the membersiH. Ayer, 2-48. the present Managing Boards

meeting were have graduated. It is with

and Peter rL et dismay that we report thatdes were pres- will mean that the students ofSemple, 246, Institute will be without free-

nd Harvey S. of the press for a period of

years. This figure is basedthe cumulative rating of past

members.

his stormy indictment, Boss-Kane made the following

ement: "It is with the utmostsatisfaction that I restrict pro-tion of these publications whiche used the most illiterate lan-ge in their writing. Their itment of important and grave es has produced a very deroga- I

effect on student opinion. situation was finally brought.

a head in this week's issue of,Tech which has brought stu-

t journalism to rockbottom."

plying to the indictment, wete the various editors' re-ks . . "Nuts!'" unquote. How-the students have raised such

rotest in regard to stoppingr reading of these fine publi-ons that black market boothsbe set up in the basement of

ding 3.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~j~11 '" ' " ''

I_~~H

PATRONS AND PATRONESSESPresident and Mrs. Karl T. ComptonDr. and Mirs. James R. Killian, Jr.Prof. and Mrs. Leicester F. HamiltonCapt. and Mrs. William H. BurackerProf. and Mrs. Erwin H. SchellProf. and Mrs. James B. RaeDean and Mrs. B. Alden ThresherDean and Mrs. Thomas P. PitreMr. and Mrs. Horace S. FordMr. and Mrs. Delbert L. Rhind

PROM COMMITTEEChairman,. Richard J. O'Donnell and Phyl BurnsGeorge H. Browne and Rosamund MuldoonWilliam J. Crawford and Elizabeth De CosterDaniel W. Greenbaum and Katherine WeissNorman F. Muellen and Janet ReindelPeter L. Richman and Ruth SailorRobert L. Seidler and Mary-Frances McGrathRobert Bowman_

WHO SAYSTHE J.P.'S FORMAL?

Snapped outside the Imperial Ballroom of the Hotel Statler at the com-

mencement of the Junior Prom of the Class of '47 The extra large

brogans, prominent in the lower left hand corner of the pile belong toDr. Compton.

I

.-, . . .:

.

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,2V1, NO. 6 vJLUV ,wu . ...... ._-,_. -___

Li IELALYS

3 Frat PartiesScheduled ForSaturday Night

Approximately 350 couples dancetonight at the Junior Prom of theClass of '47, held in the ImperialBallroom of the Hotel Statler. Thedance will last until 1:00 ANM.

In addition to the Prom tonight,three fraternity parties are sched.uled for tomorrow evening, withorchestras playing at all of them.These parties are at Chi Phi, 22The Fenway, Phi Kappa, 229 Com-monwealth Avenue, and Phi SigmaKappa, 487 Commollwealth Avenue.Admission will be by ticket stubonly.

Signing of Jimmie Lunceford,whose band is rated one of the bestin the country, promises to makethis year's Junior Prom the biggestsocial event of the season.

The honor of which Jimmie andhis orchestra are most proud isthe winning of Metronome's "A"rating, which has been awarded toonly a very few aggregations,among the others being BennyGoodman, Artie Shaw and GlennMiller, Jimmie attributes his suc-cess to the fact that he has con-centrated on developing the bandas a unit, rather than starring in-dividuals.

Since Lunceford's band rose topopularity in 1934, it has played inballrooms throughout the count;ryand has made numerous record-ings. Among the hits for whichhe is particularly noted are "What-cha Know, Joe," "Tain't What YouDo," and "Blues in the Night."

Dr. and Mrs. Karl T. Comptonhead the list of chaperones Listsof patrons and patronesses, 3. P.committeemen, ushers, and couplesattending the dance appear onpages 4 and 5:

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-6VIVIAMBRIDGE. MASS..R. FRIDAY9Y JANUAR~Y 18) LU45

P.AT

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Page 2

Tech Dorms Become Co-ed Tech Mann ActAngers FratsNew Activities Planned; Angers Frats

.Houses To Be Minus

Student Morale Rises FemaleCompanionshipCAMBRIDGE, January 18 (FF)--

Fraternity men from M.I.T. to Slip-

Applying scientific principles to MODEL -ED peryRTacs we e nof the newsocial problems, the Institute hasannounced that its dormitories willnow be open to both male and fe-male students. This situation wasbrought about by the sudden influxof girl students entering CourseXXV.xv.

The Dormitory Committee held alengthy meeting last Monday night ii lin which two barrels of beer wereadopted and the following resolu-tions consumed: (1) interconnect-ing doors between rooms in Wal-cott, Bemis, and Goodale will besealed shut for the protection of i Xthe male students. (2) rooms willalternate with men and women.thereby assuring even distribution. . .(3) the letters WO must be addedon to the alternate doors alreadymarked MEN, also assuring even eighth time already,distribution. ting tireso

"Don't worry. IClimaxing the one week trial of the last time. We're s

coed dormitories, the inquiring re- result tonight."porter of The Tech interviewed sev- "Well, OK., but theral dorm men with the question: the last time. I've goti"What do you think of having girls work to do, you know.:in the dormitories?" Here are a the equipment?"few of the answers: E. G. Beaver, "Yeah, sure."2-4T-"Hubba-hubba!" Aloysius A. (A few minutes sileWeirdwun, 1046,-"I think, it's a "Are you ready?'great thing except that the queer then."noises in the next room keep me (More silence.)awake at night." Cecil B. Bagger, "There, I knew it,'49,-"Oh, I think it's thimply tow- time is inversel ywible. If there's anything that an- the frequency." noys me, when I'm trying to study "That's good, but

the coefficient of:f5.01, it's the pitter-patter of high volved some way?"heels outside my door and the "I don't know. Wsound of low laughter." and see."

Progress Made (Still more silenceHearing reports that remarkable "Eureka, we've g

progress was being made in having revolutionize all prboys and girls do their homework tions."together, and that many new The Tech offie _weformulae were being developed, the unable to resist-cfinstaff of The Tech hooked up a this amazing diseemicrophone to the underside of the ran up to Munroe washbasin in Munroe 606, con- we asked what the:nected to The Tech office, to find "Should I tell him'out just how these formulae were go ahead, Wally;' evolved. We reprint here some of read it some day inthe notes taken by our stenog- "O.K., here it is.. frapher, S. Z. "Cuddles" Bakal. there is an equal a

(Time: 9:00 P.M. The dooropens.)

"Why hello, Gloria. Are you ready Question of the wto continue our experiments?" Walker do with

"I guess so, Wally, but this is the the grapefruit?"

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ay, January 18, 1946

;COOP! PHOS BEARSBAB- lll~l~ll~ll X -- |III

PHOS FEELS FORLORN

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e poor dear's eyes as she cuddles the littletie (see story) is hidden in the background.

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n 10o 1 eed Picketshe times, endorsement of the heretofore un-ave gone sanctioned practice of placing wadso appear of gum on the underside of class-

!er, there- room chairs. The school refuses theAs having first demand altogether, but has

Ions. Con- paid some attention to the second.itrike will A spokesman for the CorporationFretary of indicated that the fixed center of?~nounced, gravity of the chairs would be dis-strike will turbed by the gum.

Of scientists Government authorities ar ei only lead maintaining a strict hands-off pol-iman." icy because of the depth and com-Fess of the plexity of the issues in question.Ificials ex- A sidelight event caused by thet it would strike is the opening of a soupt days, but kitchen in Walker Memorial to taketents could care of hungry pickets. The ironyfrom their of the situation is that with eachLts are de- bowl of soup that each striker re-ioke orien- ceives at Walker he is given a TauLnd officia4 Beta Pi Key.

Boston, January 18 (FF). Inthe dimly lit charity ward of theMassachusetts General Hospital to-night lies a battered mother, Phos-phorus the Cat, and her child of afew hours. The infant was borntwo weeks before it was expected,but Dr. Phineas Scrooge, in chargeof the case, has reported that bothmother and baby are doing fine.Thus one of the questions whichhas puzzled Techmen for genera-tions was finally settled--Phos isa woman!

A reporter from The Tech waspermitted a special interview withthe new mother for a few minutes,and Phos revealed the amazing ac-count of her downfall. She startedwith a flurry of epithets decryingher so-called friends on Voo Doo,who tossed her out from her sacredposition on the -top of the filingcabinet in their office, into thewintry night, after learning of hercondition and .that she had mis-placed her marriage certificate. So,without a friend left, she managedto drag herself pitifully to the door-step of the hospital where now shelies. She was found lying thereby a nurse who had come to thedoor to empty some bedpans.

Phosphorus cannot be sure whothe father of her child is. 'Shevaguely recalls meeting him at aTechnology acquaintance dance,and thinks that he probably wasa soldier, marine, sailor, or NewYork City street-cleaner. His name,she believes, is Harold, althoughthere is some possibility that itwas Arthur.

Because of the baby's prematurebirth it is now being bottle-fed ona special formula which Phospho-rus claims she was weaned on. Theformula consists of one part ofPabst beer to two 'parts of Schlitz.Dr. Scrooge has not sanctioned theuse of this preparation, but he wasso overcome by Phos's charms thathe has allowed her to use it.

'. I. T. Facultyo Go On Strikefnd Of This Term

CAMERASBought - Sold - Exchanged

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Bed Stu m Exchae42 BROMFIELD ST.

ROSTON, MASS.

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THE TECH Friday, January 18, 1

Tech Dorms Become Co-ed Tech Mann Act

New Activities Planned;Student Morale Rises

CAMBRIDGE, January 18 (FF)--Applying scientific principles tosocial problems, the Institute hasannounced that its dormitories willnow be open to both male and fe-male students. This situation wasbrought about by the sudden influxof girl students entering CourseXXV.

The Dormitory Committee held alengthy meeting last Monday nightin which two barrels of beer wereadopted and the following resolu-tions consumed: (1) interconnect-ing doors between rooms in Wal-cott, Bemis, and Goodale will be

'sealed shut for the protection ofthe male students. (2) rooms willalternate with men and women,thereby assuring even distribution.(3) the letters WO must be addedon to the alternate doors alreadymarked MEN, also assuring evendistribution.

Climaxing the one week trial ofcoed dormitories, the inquiring re-porter of The Tech interviewed sev-eral dorm men with the question:"What do you think of having girlsin the dormitories?" Here are afew of the answers: E. G. Beaver,2-4T-"Hubba-hubba!" Aloysius A.Weirdwun, 10-46,-"I think it's agreat thing except that the queernoises in the next room keep meawake at night." Cecil B. Bagger,'49,--'Oh, I think it's thimply tew-wible. If there's anything that an-noys me, when I'm trying to study5.01, it's the pitter-patter of highheels outside my door and thesound of low laughter."

Progress MadeHearing reports that remarkable

- progress was being made in havingboys and girls do their homeworktogether, and that many newformulae were being developed, thestaff of The Tech hooked up amicrophone to the underside of thewashbasin in Munroe 606, con-nected to The Tech office, to findout just how these formulae wereevolved. We reprint here some ofthe notes taken by our stenog-rapher, S. Z. "Cuddles" Bakal.

(Time: 9:00 P.M. The dooropens.)

"Why hello, Gloria. Are you readyto continue our experiments?"

"I guess so, Wally, but this is the

MODEL CO-ED, I. .

eighth time already, and it's get-ting tiresome."'

"Don't worry. I think this'll bethe last time. We're sure to get ourresult tonight."

"Well, O.K., but this is definitelythe last time. I've got other home-work to do, you know. Have you gotthe equipment?"

"Yeah, sure."(A few minutes silence.)"Are you ready? Well, let's go

then."(More silence.)"There, I knew it, Gloria. The

time is inversely proportional tothe frequency."

"That's good, but don't you thinkthe coefficient of friction is in-volved some way?"

"I don't know. We'll try againand see."

(Still more silence.)"Eureka, we've got it! This'll

revolutionize all previous concep.tions."

At this time the loudspeaker atThe Tech office went dead, andunable to resist finding out whatthis amazing discovery was, we allran up to Munroe 606. Bursting inwe asked what the discovery was."Should I tell him, Gloria?" "Sure,go ahead, Wally; he's bound toread it some day in Sears anyway.""O.K., here it is ... for every actionthere is an equal and opposite re-action."

Question of the week: "What doesWalker do with the large half ofthe grapefruit?"

Angers JFratsHouses To Be MinusFemale Companionship

CAM;BRIDGE, January 18 (FF)-Fraternity men from M.I.T. to Slip-pery Rock Teachers were up inarms today as a result of the newTech I.F.C. non-importation regu-lation. The new rules announcedyesterday by the I.F.C. have beenbranded by the Beacon Street boysas "The M.I.T. Mann Act." TheI.F.C. counters that it is about timethat something be done to smashthe white slave traffic.

The hateful legislation that hasso disturbed the lives of our fratmen was announced yesterdayafter a torrid session of the Council.The principal points of the edictare as follows: (1) No person orpersons of the female sex, nor any-one suspected of being female, willbe permitted on the premises ofthe Institute fraternity houses ex-cept at such times and under suchconditions as are enumerated in alater section. (2) At all times whenfemales are present in the houses,it is required that there be inattendance in every room in whicha female guest is seated, standing,or otherwise disposed, a femalechaperone, unmarried, and mini-mum age 50. (3) Females will bepermitted in the houses under thefollowing circumstances: Betweenthe hours of 4:00 P.M. and 5:30P.M. on Mondays, Thursdays andSaturdays; they must not go abovethe basement floor except as naturemay require; the above describedchaperone must always be inattendance.

Reaction to these rulings waswidespread, as the news was spreadwide. President McFifi of Bettersleyasked, "Where will decent Betters-ley girls spend their weekends·now?" Normal Dutchman, dormi-tory big-wig, after long sufferingunder even more stringent dormrules was heard to say, "This willmean the end of fraternities atM.I.T. They have been bereft oftheir last attraction. At last all thehouses -will be available for use asparts of the new and greater co-educational dormitory system." Aninformal meeting of the IF.B.A.(Interfraternity Bar, Beer, Belles,Broads, and Boogie Woogie Associa-tion) passed a resolution that "wewill fight this odious thing 'tilthe last on the bbaches, in thestreets, from the housetops, andwill never submit, even if we haveto go to Harvard to escape it."

Great Court Site jOf Housing Projel

Spotlights To IlluminaiThem; Through Mirror

Because of the great need fol.creased living facilities for vete~and their families, and becausthe shortage of available landUtrustees of the Institute havelcided to construct a group offcost residences in the Great CIt is hoped that President Comwill break ground for the prfwith a uranium spade in thepart of next month. _

A spokesman for the trustee'scribed the plan in some d]Several interesting features oilprogram are worth mentiofhere. There will be no lighting!tems in the new homes, forwill be provided by a rather iious device. All the walls ofgreat court will be mirrored,jlight from the spotlights thatialready installed around the ciwill be reflected back into the rof the new homes. In ordeLaid the veteran in his homefand to maintain the proper atphere the walls will be parpwith pages from Burington's TaiAlthough there will be no electrin these homes they will bevided with hot and cold distiwater, gas and H2S lines, anvacuum line, which is expectelprove useful in the absence of trically run vacuum cleaners.

It was also mentioned thatcially low cost living spacesoon be available in the tar p-rad lab outhouses on the roolBuilding 6. The radomes wilused to house a group of Eskibeing sent here on scholarsfrom the Alaskan government.

159 MASS. AVE., BOSTON CIL

ARTHUR MIKELOFLORIST

ORCHIDS - CAMELLIASGARDENIAS, CORSAGES3

DISCOUNT TO M.I.T. STUDEN-

FL O WERSOF

QUALITY

Mass. at Commonwealth Ave.Boston

KEN. 0580

Page 2.

__

I

I

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ay, January18,4B 16 THE TECIH Page '

_ * .EA:. <:

;CO.OP!. PH'OS BEARS BABY'I. T. Faculty

o Go On Strikend Of This Term

a special meeting held lastt by the Big Three, Presidentpton, Vice 'President KillianDean Lobdell, serious consider-

n was given to the possibilityuspending classes in the nearre because of the impendingIty strike.e faculty, led by Professors

le A. Ashup and Frnncis W.ers, have threatened a strike9:00 A.M. of the first morningxam week, unless certain con-ms are granted them.mato P. Puree, Assistant Dean,last night: "The situation is

y not desperate, but we wouldthink of depriving Tech men

he privilege of even a single dayschool at glorious old Tech-gy.turee, Ashup, and a bottle of rum

last night to discuss the fac-'s ultimatum and arrange forotiations.me of the more striking de-ds by the faculty include: (1)value of "e" should be raised

3.0000 to simplify calculations.is rumored by opponents of theulty that this move was insti-ed by Professor Jirk Dan Shriekthe Math. Department, whosele holds the monopoly for theufacture of log log vectors in

nch Indonesia.)2) From now on no limit shouldplaced on the number of FF'sei in each term, except that nore than 11/2 be given per studentsubject. This motion is led by

,fessor L. S. Brilliant of the Eng-Department.

3) Director of Admissions, W.t Thresher, demands that, due

the great influx of -married vet-ns with children, a special Techparatory School should berted whereby the vets' childrenbe trained to fill their fathers'

e rule cases when they grow up.Professor Thresher put it, "Thee has come when the youth oferica should be weaned onrington, not bottles."Tpon hearing the news of thepending' strike, the Institutenmittee held a special meetingsee what could be done to alle-te this condition. It was de-ed that a special fact-findingIrd should be called to precipt-e the walkout.

IL PHOS FEELS FORLORN

Note the sad expression in the poor dear's eyes as she cuddles the littleone to her soft bosom. The bottle (see story) is hidden in the background.

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Tech Students Hold Walkout;Soup Kitchen T

Keeping in step with the times,the students of M.I.T. have goneout on strike, refusing to appearat any classes whatsoever, there-fore resulting in professors havingtheir own private bull sessions. Con-cerning the effect the strike willhave on the country, Secretary ofLabor Swollenback announced,"The M.I.T. student strike willcause an acute shortage of scientistsin this country and can only leadto the return of the caveman."

In regard to the progress of thestrike itself, school officials ex-pressed high hopes that it wouldcontinue for a few more days, butit was doubted that students couldbear to remain away from theirstudies so long. Students are de-manding the right to smoke orien-,tal water pipes in class and officiail

b Feed Picketsendorsement of the heretofore un-sanctioned practice of placing wadsof gum on the underside of class-room chairs. The school refuses thefirst demand altogether, but haspaid some attention to the second.A spokesman for the Corporationindicated that the fixed center ofgravity of the chairs would be dis-turbed by the gum.

Government authorities a r emaintaining a strict hands-off pol-icy because of the depth and com-plexity of the issues in question.

A sidelight event caused by thestrike is the opening of a soupkitchen in Walker Memorial to takecare of hungry pickets. The ironyof the situation is that with eachbowl of soup that each striker re-ceives at Walker he is given a TauBeta Pi Key.

Boston, January 18 (FF). Inthe dimly lit charity ward of theMassachusetts General Hospital to-night lies a battered mother, Phos-phorus the Cat, and her child of afew hours. The infant was borntwo weeks before it was expected,but Dr. Phineas Scrooge, in chargeof the case, has reported that bothmother and baby are doing fine.Thus one of the questions whichhas puzzled Techmen for genera-tions was finally settled-Phos isa woman!

A reporter from The Tech waspermitted a special interview withthe new mother for a few minutes,and Phos revealed the amazing ac-count of her downfall. She startedwith a flurry of epithets decryingher so-called friends on Voo Doo,who tossed her out from her sacredposition on the top of the filingcabinet in their office, into thewintry night, after learning of hercondition and that she had mis-placed her marriage certificate. So,without a friend left, she managedto drag herself pitifully to the door-step of the hospital where now shelies. She was found lying thereby a nurse who had come to thedoor to empty some bedpans.

Phosphorus cannot be sure whothe father of her child is. Shevaguely recalls meeting him at aTechnology acquaintance dance,and thinks that he probably wasa soldier, marine, sailor, or NewYork City street-cleaner. His name,she believes, is Harold, althoughthere is some possibility that itwas Arthur.

Because of the baby's prematurebirth it is now being bottle-fed ona special formula which Phospho-rus claims she was weaned on. Theformula consists of one part ofPabst beer to two parts of Schlitz.Dr. Scrooge has not sanctioned theuse of this preparation, but he wasso overcome by Phos's charms thathe has allowed her to use it.

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Page 4 THE TEC Friday, January.18,1

JUNIOR PROMENADE OF CLASS OF 194S. James Adelstein and Nancy GlaserTheodore Albert and Marjorie GlassmanDennis Allegretti and Ruth OlsonDean Ammer and Mary SteinmanFrank Anderson and Verity VoightHenry Appen and Dorothy NegasNorman Anderson and Jean MurrayMichael Asturias and Beverly La FranceHoward Auerswald and Doris OechsleCarlos Auriema and Frances HopkinsKenneth Avery and Marilyn FrechetteHerbert Ayres and Hester StickleyJohn Bader and Ruth MortonWilliam Baldeau and Dot. GloreLouis Baldwin and Louise WhitehouseJames Barber and Jeannette TeareNorton Baron and Sylvia LarrabeeJohn Barriger and Ann MaguireJuan Bartet and Lee WoodardJoaquim Batistella and Janet KatzNorman Baumgartner and Pat LoganEdward Bean and Louise GoodallEdward Belcher and Ann WaterburyHunter Bennet and Ann SylvesterDavid Black and Alice HollandFranklin Blaha and Eleanor MillardMaurits Blomberg and spouseEdmund Bolton and Doris BerraysCarroll Boyce and Jean ComptonAllan Bralove and Bobbie TurnerMel Braverman and Muriel Kaplan.Benjamin Brettler and Carol KirschenbaumBennett Brooks and Phoebe BlankBarrett Brown and Ann SnowRaymond D. Brown and Betty MasonRaymond M. Brown and Peg TowlesEdward Brylawski and Kathleen KellyJames Burns and Mary Elizabeth CroninKen Bushway and Betty NapierEdward Butler and Diane DonovanLawrence Button and Nancy HoagFrank Carter and Pat GrahamJames Chabot and Anne McHughJerry Champlin and Betsy MulliganFred Churchley and Irene MageeRandy Cleworth and Trudy TowersLeslie Cline and Barbara WelchCharles Colgan and Terry BeltaireJohn Contegni and Patricia CarrollMorgan Cooper and Daphne TaitRichard Cotton and Wuzzy AdelmanJohn Cowan and June GardnerRobert Cowan and Pat FrancadacasJerome Cox and Jay SperlingaEmmett Craig and Gloria AertkerRobert Crane and Anne TolstoiDonald Cummings and Betsy SwanWilliam Cummings and Peggy Scott

Richard Davila and Sally BriggsJames Davis and Pat NorthridgeHenry Dayton and Shirley FoynesRobert Dean and Nancy HayesRobert Decer and Pat FieldVictor de Mello and Carol BallCarl Dengler and spouseGuy de Lyrot and Evelena SharpRoland Derby and Diane WhitneyJ. F. Desouga and Ann HoveyDonald De Witt and Marion BloomgardenMalcolm Dick and Jane GravesFrank Dickson and Billie BallardCharles Dobony and Dorothy Keane

U.

Charles Dolan III and Nina GreenJoseph Donahue and Ann BulgerGlen Dorflinger and Phyllis Fisher'William Dowling and Laura RajkowskiJohn Downing and spouseEdward Doyle and Jerry ZachariasFrank Durgin and Mary HeathJohn Dyer and Claire McCreeryStuart Edgerly, Jr., and Dana DawesRobert Ellsworth and Mary GormanArthur Erion and Ma.tey McCallyWeems Estelle and spouseRay Evans and Florence KelsoRobert Evans and Mary Frances HaganStuart Farnum and Johnny PasquerEdward Frank and Ann BlerschJames Frazier and Hazel KoehnlineDeane Folsom and Edris VerrallFelix French and Catherine FairWilfred Freyberger and Mary Jane McDeWilliam Gehl and Vivian OlsenErnest Gibson and Kitty BrownFrancis Giori and Marion FennessyJoseph Gold and Aileen SiebertWes Goodnow and Sail SuttonPaul Grady and Betty Ann HynesJohn Granland and spouseRobert Grant and Carol DennyAlan Gruber and Joan FleischerPeter Guercio and Kelley LangdonJohn Gunnarson and Ruth JonesSamuel Gusman and Carol Rogers

-Thomas Habecker and Dorothy NovakoskiFrank Hagerty and Dorothy LuckingJames Haggett and Gina OlsonAlbert Haimowitz and Harriet MorsePeter Hajian and Pat StensonAlex Halberstadt and Marilyn DodgeRichard Hall and Nancy Post0. W. Hamilton and spouseDavid Hammel and Lois HillmanTimothy Hanley and Mary MoltonWilliam Hanpeter and Jean McCouchHerbert Hansell and Marion RitvoCarl IHaushaulter and Margaret DeweGeorge Haviland and spouseJohn Hayes and Barbara FeeneyFrank Heger and Rosemary DurnanJan Hoegfeldt and Priscilla FaileRobert Hoffman and Diane ArrasNorman Holland and Frances McCarthyCharles Holt and Lee WardDaniel Horan and Patricia KellerJohn Horan and Estelle WenocurFrederick Howell and Shirley SommerTed Howland and Mary ZellerWilliam Howlett and Anne WadelyPao-Tan Hsu and Ele PotterWilliam Ihde and spouseDonald Jenkins and Betty LeonardRodman Jenkins and Lenise'OtisRobert Jevion and Annabelle CookHugo Johnson and Ethel AlexanderIrving Kagan and Dorothy AptJohn Kaleher and K. EtterEdward Kane and Rose-Helen KopelmanWalter Kansteiner and Nancy PelgriftConrad Katz and Helen ArnsteinGeorge Katz and Anita MaxwellTheodore Keith and Priscilla LeonardDan Kelley and Peggy Callahan

ennott

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ay, January 18, 1946.. -

W. P. Kern and spouseOzzie Kincannon and Marion BattyMohan Kirpal.ani and Averil MaynardDick Krahe and Joni RoopAllan TCi__,l'a.nd THnnv Conmer

Walter Lack and Audrey ShermanKeith Lanneau and Greta BackerDonald Latimer and Claire, ThompsonDonald Lea and Lee TylerJames Leahy and Ellen HaeblerJack Levedall and Jerry SparfeldHenry Lenglois and Mary BowenHumbert Leon and Sarah HaldemanJack Levedall and Jerry SparfeldEagle Levine. and Connie DorfmanRichard Levitan and Jean TetchnerJerry Lewi and June MarshallWilliam Lewis and Ellen GroverYu-Hsuan Liu and Marguerite ChienEdwin Lord and Sally OttFrank Low and Claire EverettClarence Lyon and Pat Curley

Philip Macht and Harriet KayDonald Mains and Adele RosenbaumWilliam Maley and Roberta BurgessJames Marshall and Augeline NolanKenneth Marshall and Mary HellerWhit Mauzy and Jean OlsenCuy May and Cynthia MorganRobert McBride and Nancy PattersonMalcolm McFaull and Joan DodgeJohn McLarty and Anne RobinsonG. H. McQueen and Robbie RayTed Metzger and Julie MerrillLaurent Michel and Virginia FergusonFream Minton and Joy HartwellMike Mitchell and Betty Nichols

-William Mitchell and Ann KennedyLee Montgomery and Joyce SokelWilliam Morgan and Barbara BurrRussell Morris and Elaine SeigleWilliam Moser and Hildegarde RuchkinsDaniel Muss and Pat Little

Peter Nairn and Helen HollenkoffRobert Neal and Janice Kuhn

Dewey Nelson and Elaine StarrWilliam Nemitz and Dorothy O'BrienW. Donald Nolte and spouseRobert Norman and Marcia WattersHarry Norris and Pauline DainowskiAnthony Nunes and Germana Lage

Timothy O'Brien and Cecelia JonesBernard O'Conner and Joan GodfruyOntonio Ortiz and Margarita Forina

B. Gregory Palitz and Genny ReedGene Parish and Virginia JennessAlexis Pastuhov and Adele StaplesDonald Pearson and Shirley HillWilliam Peirce and Peggy RobertsHoward Perlmutter and Adele GreensteiFrederich Pferdmenges and Virginia CanJames Phillips and spouseHenry Pickford and June SchmidtGeorge Plume and Janice BobergPeter Poulos and Helen PappaloanouDavid Powers and Faith ForganDonald Powers and Carol Hallet

William Rapoport and Mary WilsonJames C. Ray and Pauline GlazierJ. C. Reece and Nancy TruaxSerale Rees and June WallenCharles Reynolds and Mary Lou BradleEdward Richardson and Marilyn LuceyJaime Rizo-Patron and Isabel Salas

HE TEC R, - ...

Carl Roden and Jane MillerDuane Roger and Mary SegorneJoseph Roman and Victoria BrissonRichard Rose and Bunny GreeneWilliam Rosenmond and Mary Ellen ScheanJohn Rowed'and Ann HeffenanHarwood Rowles and Jean McClureJohn Rueckert and spouseFred Ross and Patty ChapinFrank Russo and Audrey HekelJerry Russo and Rose Emer

Leonard Salter and Jeanne FinnHarvey Salwen and Shirley PaulsordChandra Saran and Tara PanditWilliam Schield and Emily FensterwaldMalcolm Schoenberg and Geraldine SapolskyDavid Sherrick and Mary Alice SubatchRichard Singleton and Dawn O'DayGene Skolnikoff and Margie FinnIra Smith and Barbara DustinSidney Smith and Auberte BoulaisAndrew Snow and Esther ParkerRoger Sonnabend and Toddy MelvoinMarvin Sparrow and Janice JosephsonJames Spaulding and Sherry BouchellNoa Spears and Betty TufelDavid Stallard and Mary SchlictingDaniel Streeter and Sally WallaceEdward Stevens and Phoebe BuchmanHarold Steiner and Hilo HillRobert Stern and Barbara DiengottRobert Stout and Joan WurthmafnnCharles Stuart and Diane Difel

Robert Taylor and Gail McWhorterHong Teck Tan and Bunny ChienTheodore Thal and Barbara ReedofskyEdward Thompson and Elizabeth DyerFitch Thurslow and Wilbur SmithJohn Toohy and Jean ReynoldsWarren Turner and Peg KesslerKenneth Tuttle and spouse

William Virtue and Caroline Marshall

J. H. Wade and spouseLouis Wadel and Jean TobianJohn Wandrisco and Jane QuinneenHoward Weaver and Margaret DeweyTed Weber, Jr., and Lena SuteraJohn Well and Mary Lou HarshfieldCharles Wellard and Gloria BergerRobert Wentsch and Rose WichlatzBud West and spouseGeorge Whipple and Fifi JohnsonWilliam Whitehall and Florence McCainHarlow White and spouseRichard White and Barbara OlsenArnQld Whittaker and Nancy PhillipsWilliam Wiehl and Ellen PulfordThomas Williams and Carolyn BoggsRobert Wilson and Nancy PotterWilliam Wilson and Frances Wells

Jn ILeonard Winship and Joan Pullmannpbell George Wood and Louise Bigelow

James Woodburn and Aileen McPheeJohn Worton and Peggy Pain

Joseph Jamron and Carol ReckmanMelvin Zisfein and Jackie FreedeThomas Zsembik and Mary Auten

Dear Girls,If your name is spelled with an "e" instead of an "a",

or it contains two "t" 's instead of one "1", it is not anAct of God or The Tech. The fellow sitting next to youcan't write. Maybe you should buy him a typewriter fornext Christmas. Love and kisses,

THE MANAGING BOARD

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A-&LACU I -L w " V,5-" "JLJLL& -LL &--&- .Y Nd - ," L

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Page 6 T

The a TechVol. LXVI

General Manager.....Editor ...............

Co-Business Managers

David G. Black, 2-46Noel N. Coe, '--46James S. Craig, 2-46Russell K. Dostal, 2-46WVilliam C. Dowling, 2-46Herbert J. Hansell, 2-46

Bernard H. Geyer, 10-47David RI. Herwitz, 6-46

Marvin H. Brindis, '49Harold D. Field, 2-48

Friday, January 18, 1946Managing Board

No. 3

............................ Richard Bakal, 2-47..... ................. Claude W. Brenner, 2-47

Donald S. Cohen, 10-46........................ Donald A. M ains, 2-47

Editorial BoardWilliam F. Herberg, 2-40Thomas F. Kelley, Jr., 2-46William H. Peirce. 2-46Howard V. Perlmutter, 2-46William J. Rapoport, 2-46William H. Semple, 2-46

Associate BoardLouis F. Kreek, Jr., 10-47Walter A. Lack, 2-47

Staff AssistantsMarvin H. Brindis, 2-48Murray Glauberman, 2-48

Offices of The Tech

Marvin Sparrow, 2-46Robert E. Spoerl, 2-48Marshall P. Tulin, 2-46Louis B. Wadel, 2-46Robert G. Wilson, 2-46

William L. Phelan, 2-46Leonard J. Stutman, 2-47

John J. Horan, 2-48Donald E. MacNair, Jr., 2-48

News and lditorial-Room 3 Business--]Walker Memorial, Cambridge, Mass. Telephone

Telephone KiIRkland 1882

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Published every Friday during College Year, except during College Vacationand the third week in October.

Entered as second class matter December 9, 1944, at the Post Office at Boston, Mass.,under the Act of March 3, 1879.

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THE LIDS OFFThe dog is in the manger, the cats in the bag, something

smells in Denmark and all Hell's breaking loose. All the inhibi-tions, the conventions that have bound us in the past, the re-gards for the niceties and the Dean's Office have been swept intoa pile and buried in a hole in Building 9. The hidden spark ofcreative genious, at times almost stifled by the continual perusalof such items as "Ross R. Graves, '46 has been judged the manmost likely to succeed Titschmarch by the M.I.T. chapter ofthe Royal Second Order of Dis-Intergraters. There are at pres-ent three members of the Society and great hopes are held forfuture expansion. It is expected that the selection will meetwith no more than the usual amount of opposition from the re-actionaries on The Institute Committee." Constant repetitionof such gems has dulled the sense and abilities of our embryonicSteinbecks. Frustration was rampant, and neurosis flour-ished.

To combat this subtle poison, known in the Greek as hack-or dog-work, the opportunity of the Prom was seized with mad,almost hysterical joy, as a chance to blow off a few thousandcubic feet of steam (S.T.P.) which have accumulated in oddcorners of the paper's collective cranium. This outburst hasswept away cobwebs, long unmolested in print and will un-doubtedly (it always does) raise the temperature and the cen-ter of gravity of some.

According to tradition, be it known that this issue travelsunder the name of Fido-Facts and Fiction, and that all recordedherein, except as noted, are the complete and utter children-ofthe imaginations of sundry and assorted members of the staff.Psychologists would call it an escape mechanism but all agreeit is a welcome change.

In recognition of the similarity between our state andthat of the chaotic and puzzled world we hereby dedicate thisissue to all those who are frustrated, all those who are stirredby strange longings and hidden doubts, those who wondersometimes in the night. An occasional rebellion is good forthe soul and refreshes the sense of humor.

In TheAfter a long and grueling period

of espionage and counter-espionageactivities in Phosphorania, the for-eign service of The Tech has un-covered many amazing and hereto-fore unknown facts about the headof the Mangy Board of the M.I.T.comic (we blush with shame) mag-azine. Yes, Howhard V. (for ven-omous) Pulmotor, is not the young,naive, innocent that the staff ofVoo Doo would have you believingbelievers believe. So, without fur-ther fiddle faddle we will relate thetruth in this daring and unprec-edented expose as it was cabled tous straight from our Phosphores-cent, or rather Phosphoranian cor-respondent.

How was not born; he was whit-tled from a piece of petrified woodby Mr. Gepetto who has been on aweek-long binge, and was just re-covering from the effects. After onelook at How it is obvious that pinkelephant4 and green dragons musthave had some influence on his cre-ation. Sin started for him almostas soon as the last shaving fell fromMr. Gepetto's stiletto, for he imme-diately seduced the marionette onthe shelf beside him. How he wasendowed with flesh, blood, andbreath is a secret that still remainsshrouded in secrecy, but it is ru-mored that a bottle of Moxie didthe trick, which may also havestarted him on the road to alcohol-ism.

Lechery and pornogrophy soonbecame bywords in the once-pioushamlet of Hamlet, Phosporania, forHow was now ruling the town bymob psychology. In other wordshe had reduced everyone to a stateof drunken obeisance, induced byliberal doses of cocaine and opiumin the daily milk supply. (How wasnot in long before it became thedaily beer supply.) Hamlet becamethe cesspool of Phosporanlan cul-ture. Children dreamed of growingup and going there to live; powder-room conversation dwelt solely onthe wonderful evils of the town;and How was even engaged by wom-

Voo Doo Staff

HOW PULMOTOR

en's clubs to lecture on his sysPeople would greet him with,me, How,". and he would noneantly reply, "Oh, it's easy."

Our nefarious nemesis nullall existing codes of decencPhosphorania, and the devil hlbecame fearful lest How try t'place him as king of the Usworld. How relates with glee niof his earlier experiences-like!time he swiped a barrel ofand he and the upstairs iswilled it together. Because of I

(Continued on Page 8)

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THE T'CECH . Friday, January ar8Page 6

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ly, January 18, 1946 '1 I i B 1I

.I .T. Resumesports Flashes I

By Bill Rope-a-blond andBill Humbug

le to the recent clamoring byI students for a hockey team,carl T. Crompton has conferredRalph T. Jope, Secretary of

Alumni Council on Athletics,decided to organize a sextet to)se the more prominent of thehboring schools. The tentativedule Iists games with Sargent,

cliffe, Wheelock, and Pineor, although many feel thatkent is slightly too professionale included the first year. In ah and tumble scrap there arey who would fear to tangle withe talented athletes from acrossriver. Ozzie Headhunter, whobeen appointed head coach,er, and chief skate lacer, has

the first practice for Monday,ary 21, at which time all inter-should meet on the west sidee Charles River Basin. If the

is not thick enough, practicebe held that evening at then Garden between periods ofBruin contest. Bring your

es, sticks and ear muffs anddig up a good team.

* * *

a recent meet held in theon "Y," the Tech relay teamup a stunning last lap victoryan all-star aggregation from

r schools. Serrie, runningor, was a lap behind when thes went out. What happenedhe lad in that 30 seconds of

ess no one knows, but Johnrs he completed two quarterlaps in that time to. give Tech

upset triumph. Although thers all agreed, the NationalU. seems hesitant to recognizenew record.

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CAMBRIDGE, January 18 (FF)-In a surprise release last nightfrom the office of the Office of thePresident, it was announced tomor-row that next term's entering classof the Institute would contain 25or 30 Conover Models.

The girls will be guests of theInstitute on full-tuition scholar-ships (plus $100 per term forpersonal expenses). This action wasprompted several weeks ago whenquite a few of the lovelies took I.Q.tests in New York and were foundto rate much higher than the aver-age college student.

WholesomeTherefore in a secret meeting

held December 31, between Presi-dent Compton, VicePresident Kil-lian, Deans Lobdell and Pitre, andseveral of the beauties with "higherscores," it was decided that theConover models would be "whole-some, intellectual additions to theTechnology family."

The announcement has broughtprompt reaction: 25 cronies havefiled a complaint that such an addi-tion to the student body would bea real detriment to the pleasantatmosphere that the Institute nowpossesses. Prof. M. S. Livingpebbleof the Physics department, chair-man of the Faculty Committee on"Tech is Hell, let's keep it that way"is threatening to resign from hispost, while Mirson L. Carliam, 2-48,and the rest of the coeds have an-nounced their intention, in a

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B1 Causes Weinerto Lose 19 Pounds

Professor Norbert Wiener, notedmathematician and savant, statedin a recent interview that the mil-lions of innocent laymen who spendtheir hard earned money on vita-min pills are being duped and de-ceived.

Vitamins, he says, are not onlyuseless but definitely detrimentalto good health, and besides theymight make you sick. ProfessorWiener bases his observations onpersonal experimentation with thepills over a period of three weeks.At the end of this period ProfessorWiener had lost 19 pounds, was con-siderably weaker, could no longersee in the dark, and was consider-ing reading Paul de Kruif's newbook, "The Male Hormone." Heplans to institute a suit against themanufacturers of putrid pills.

When asked whether he took hisvitamins before or after dinner,Prof. Wiener replied, "Are you sup-posed to eat meals too?"

special communique released thismorning from their headquartersat 120 Bay. State Road, to withdrawfrom the Institute if the "insur-mountable competition" is ad-'mitted.

Appeals have already been re-ceived from several professors'wives not let their husbands teachM-11 and 8:01 next term. The T.C.A.is already planning a refreshercourse in these subjects for coeds.The Coop has announced that thegirls will model Phillips' Differen-tial Calculus starting March 1st.

Professor Magoun could not bereached for comment by presstime,while Coach Smith announced thatevery effort was being made to ob-tain two dozen suitless bathingstraps for the pool.

I _ _

The M.I.T.A&A. announced todaythat Frank Leahy had been signedto a 131/2 year contract as headfootball mentor at the Ifistitute.The move came as a complete sur-prise to most sports analysts, al-though reporters .from The Techhad gotten wind of the affair manyweeks ago.

This heralds the return of Techto the football wars as a first ratepower to be reckoned with. Offershave already been received fromthe "Big Ten" to make M.I.T. thetenth member of the loop, but noaction has been taken in that direc-tion as yet. As Athletic DirectorMcCarthy put it: "The foremostreason for the Institute's resump-tion of football is to break theArmy's stranglehold on Easternteams. Therefore we do not intendto make any Midwestern commit-ments until a game has definitelybeen scheduled with West Point for194G." No comment has been issuedby the Army, although Earl Blaikhas been quoted unofficially as say-ing, "The Engineers will be toomuch for my boys. After all we arelosing three lettermen out of thirty-five and we didn't even have afreshman team to supply us withreplacements." The bookies havebacked up the Cadets' coach by in-stalling M.I.T. as 23 point favorite,with few takers as yet.

Coach Leahy is expected to takeover the reins here on or aboutMarch 1, at which time he will issuea call for spring practice. Assistantcoaches Fella Gintoff and Alex-ander Magoun will be on hand tolook over the prospects for nextseason.

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Causes W einer that Frank Leahy had been signed

Conover

Girls to a 131/2 year contract as 'head

to

Lose 19 Pounds football mentor at the Ihstitute.

To

Enter Tech The move came as a complete sur-

Professor

Norbert Wiener, noted

prise

to most sparts analysts, al-

mathematician

and savant, stated though reporters trorn The Tech

For

Next Term in a recent interview that the mil- had gotten wind of the affair many

lions

of innocent laymen who spend

CA1�MRIDGE,

January 18 (FF)- their hard earned money on vita- weeks ago.

This

heralds the return of Twh

In

a surprise release last night min 'pills are being duped and de- to the football wars as a first rate

from

the office of the Office of the ceived.

power

to be reckoned with. Offers

President

'' it was announced tomor- Vitamins, he says, are not only have already been re6eived from

row

that next term's entering class useless but definitely detrimental the "Big Ten" to make M.I.T. the

of

the Institute would contain 25 to good health, and besides they tenth member of the loop, but no

or

30 Conover Models. might make you sick. Professor action has been taken in that direc-

The

girls will be guests- of the Wiener bases his observations on tiDn 'as yet. As Athletic Director

Institute

on full-tuition scholar- personal experimentation with the McCarthy put it: "The foremost

ships

(.plus $100 per term for -pills over a period of.three weeks. reason for the Institute's resump-

personal

expenses). This action was At the end of this period Professor tion of football is to break the

prompted

several weeks ago when Wiener had lost 19 pounds, was con- Army's stranglehold on Eastern

quite

a few of the lovelies took I.Q. siderably weaker, could no longer teams. Therefore we do not intend

tests

in New York and were found see in the dark, and was consider- to make any Midwestern conunit-

to

rate much higher than the aver- ing reading Paul de Kruif's new

r.2

- ments, until a game has definitely

age

college student. book, "The Male Hormone.', He been scheduled with West Point for

Wholesome

plans to institute a suit against the 194G." No comment has been issued

Therefore

in a secret meeting manufacturers of putrid pills. by the Army, although Earl Blaik

held

December 31, between Presi- When asked whether he took his has been quoted unofficially as say-

dent

Compton, Vice-�President Kil- vitamins before or after dinner, ing, "The Engineers will be too

lian,

Deans Lobdell and Pitre, and Prof. Wiener replied, "Are you sup- much for my iboys. After all we are

several

of the beauties with "higher posed to eat meals too?" losing three lettermen out of thirty-

scores,"

it was decided that the five and we didn% even have a

Conover

models would be "whole- special communique released this freshman team.to supply us with

some,

intellectual additions to the morning from their headquarters replacements." The bookies have

Technology

family." at 120 Bay-State Road, to withdraw backed up the Cadets' coach by in-

The

announcement has brought from the Institute if the "insur- stalling M.I.T. as 23 point favorite,

prompt

reaction: 25 cronies have mountable competition" is ad- with few takers as yet.

filed

-a complaint that such an addi- 'mitted. Coach Leahy is expected to take

tion

to the student body would be Appeals have already been re- over the reins here on or about

a

real detriment to the pleasant ceived from several professors' March 1, at which time he will issue

atmosphere

that the Institute now wives not let their husbands teacb, a call for spring practice. Assistant

possesses.

Prof. M. S. Livingpebble M-11 and 8:01 next term. The T.C.A. coaches Fella Gintoff and Alex-

of

the Physics department, chair- is already planning a refresher ander Magoun will be on hand to

man

of the Faculty Committee on course in these subjects for coeds. lw-k over the prospects for next

"Tech

is Hell, let's keep it that way,' The Coop has announced that the season.

is

threatening to resign from his girls will model Phillips' Differen-

post,

while Mirson L. Carliam, 2-48, tial Calculus starting March Ist.

and

the rest of the coeds have an- Professor Magoun could not be A. WHITE

nounced

their intention in :a reached for comment by presstime, Custom Tailors and Furriers

I

I-

at

Frank Leahy had been signed

BIL

Causes Weiner th

to a 131/2 year contract as 'headto

Lose 19 Pounds football mentor at the Iiistitute.

The

move came as a complete sur-

Professor

Norbert Wiener, noted

prise

to most sparts analysts, al-

mathematician

and savant, stated

though

reporters trorn The Tech

in

a recent interview that the mil- had gotten wind of the affair many

lions

of innocent laymen who spend

weeks ago.their

hard earned money on vita- This heralds the return of TWh

min

pills are being duped and de-

ceived.

to the football wars as a first rate

power

to be reckoned with. Offers

Vitamins,

he says, are not only have already been re6eived from

useless

but definitely detrimental the "Big Ten" to make M.I.T. the

to

good health, and besides they tenth member of the loop, but no

might

make you sick. Professor action has been taken in that direc-

Wiener

bases his observations on tiDn 'as yet. As Athletic Director

personal

experimentation with the McCarthy put it: "The foremost

'pills

over a period of three weeks. reason for the Institute's resump-

At

the end of this period Professor tion of football is to break the

Wiener

had lost 19 pounds, was con- Army's stranglehold on Eastern

siderably

weaker, could no longer teams. Therefore we do not intend

see

in the dark, and was consider- to make any Midwestern commit-

ing

reading Paul de Kruif's -new

r.2

ments, until a game has definitely

book,

"The Male Hormone.', He been scheduled with West Point for

plans

to institute a suit against the 194G." No comment has been issued

manufacturers

of putrid pills. by the Army, although Earl Blaik

When

asked whether he took his has been quoted unofficially as say-

vitamins

before or after dinner, ing, "The Engineers will be too

Prof.

Wiener replied, "Are you sup- much for my iboys. After all we are

posed

to eat meals too?" Incivitr &-hraa laffarn P-nnuf nf thirty.

-

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Page 10: VI-6 I 10 IOAAl NO. 6 vJLUV ,wu Li - tech.mit.edutech.mit.edu/V66/PDF/V66-N3.pdf · the cumulative rating of past ... dance will last until 1:00 ANM. ... and has made numerous record-ings

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Page 8 THE .

Durgin-Park Plans Radiations SaleTo Open Branch To Charge HomOn Carleton Site

To Handle 3000 Daily;Special Feature Is $5.00Meal Ticket For $6.00CAMBRIDGE, January 18 (FF)-

In a special interview for "TheTech" last night Mr. William C.Haberer, manager of the Durgin-Park Restaurant, revealed plans forthe extension of his organization'sservices to the public. Included inthese plans is the opening of abranch restaurant near Teldhnology.

The proposed site for the newbranch is the premises now occu-pied by the Carleton Cafeteria onthe corner of Main and CarletonStreets. Mr. Haberer intends tohave the premises completely reno-vated and enlarged. Accommoda-tions will be provided for approxi-mately 3000 customers per day.

Mr. Haberer expects that withsuch a large volume of customers,the majority of which will 'be fromthe Institute, he will be able tooffer meals the quality and pricesof which will be more satisfactorythan those now obtainable. Menuswill be changed from day to dayand special rates will be instigatedfor regular customers in the formof $6.00 tickets which will buy $5.00worth of food.

The atmosphere will be condu-cive to enjoyable eating. Leatherupholstered booths and soft light-ing are expected to contributetowards the comfort of the patrons.The waitresses will be all hand-.picked models and hostesses witha basic understanding of Engineer-ing will be provided for lonelyTech men.

It can safely be stated that theopening of such a modern eatingestablishment near the Institutewill have a great effect on thevolume of business of WalkerMemorial. Institute officials wouldmake no statements when ques-tioned by representatives from"The Tech."

h2.

The First Church ofChrist, Scientist

FalPusth, Norway mad .. Paul Su.]esa., Mamachusecu

Suaday Service lO43 a.. nod 7:34 p.m.ASuaday School 10:4! o .m.; Vedouday w-sing mcnlgs t 7I0S, vhisc iaclude uar *manial of Christia Sciamn hlin.

Readiag sme-Fre t d.Public. MAI& Sa.; t4 A.y/,_ m_ St., Lithle SsidJh, Stres'

elor ; £316 Ba Street,Coolidae Cores. Atbria·ad approved litoramuse oa

Christia Sciane may be reAdor obt aind.

Les -

Wavelengths To ActAs Basis For PricesLee Du Pont, head of the Rad

Lab, has announced the forthcom--ing auction sale of surplus radia-tions. During the course of its war-time activities the Lab accumulateda tremendous over-supply of radia-tions, spectra, and deuterons, forwhich it had no use. These werestored under the mysterious domesatop the lab, but will now be re-leased for sale to the generalpublic.

Expected to go at special bargainprices will be an assortment ofRadar'scope images of the city ofBoston. Radiations on sale will varyin wave length from 10 to the nthto 10 to the -e Angstroms and areof frequency as often as they feellike.

The lab has not been able todetermine just what these rays canbe used for, but every sample willbear a. certificate signed by Presi-dent Compton stating that it isa genuine radiation produced rightat the Institute. It has been sug-gested that rays might be used bypurchasers to reduce the cost ofrunning their homes. All the wagesformerly paid Mrs. Calibash for theperformance of many householdtasks can be saved by use of radia-tions for such things as pushing upthe next Kleenex, starting up theelectric clock when you put theplug back in, determining for youwhich shoe to take off first, andenabling you to tell whether it'sthe front door, the 'back door, thetelephone, the clock, or your earthat's ringing. And don't forgetthat with every purchase of 2000milli-microns or 2x10 to the eighthquanta of rays, radiations, waves,or used thermionic tubes, a radlab secretary's telephone numberwill be provided free.

Enjoy Your Evenings

at the

Cafe De ParisMASS. AVE., BOSTON a

Modern BarAdjoining Restaurant

I ... ._

|I SPY?

Summoned before a CongressionalInvestigating Committee yesterdaywas C. Rolls Royce. It is chargedthat on December 6, 1941, SenatorRoyce was seen speaking surrepti-tiously to the Japanese cherry trees

along the tidal basin.

Spotlight(Continued from Page 6)

many flirtatious incidents, poor oldMr. Geppetto could never keep anupstairs maid longer than her hang-over lasted.

But Phosphorania became boringfor our adventure-mad villain. Hesought wider scopes in which topractice his wickedness, and whereelse was there to go but Tech? Ofcourse the Grad House was the nat-ural place for him to get started.Needless to say the Gravy V-12ersknew nothing of the ways of liquoror the wiles of women until the ad-vent of Pulmotor.

Fish List ShiowsRemarkable HaiWalker Affected

In keeping with its policyforming Techmen of the itemsthey are most interested in,,"rech" takes pleasure in ann.ng the official fish list for.Gr(?) Boston. The following strawlers, and rowboats dodkCharles River Basin:

"The Mercury" withpounds of haddock, 4000' pouwhitefish, 2000 lobsters, anwhales.

"The Emily 8.03" docked3000 hake and 4000 smelt.interviewed as to the extent ocatch, Captain I. E. Tatwalker"They all smelt."

The last ship to dock calat 9:00 P. M. from the direof Scollay Square. The namethe boat was indistinguishable,it was rumored to be the shthe M.I.T. crew. Althoughcatch was unedible, there is nexhibit in the Lobby of Buil'two mermaids.

Mr. William H. Carlisle, Jrthe Walker Memorial Diningice was on hand to greet theas they docked to superviseoperations of his net cleaningcession,

As soon as he entered the tfloor den of inquity in Walker,villainous varmint set aboutgreat vim, vigor, and vitalitytracize any form of moralitythat "other" publication (ugh)even changed the method by whe snared unsuspecting fresinto the fold. He went intopetition with the Old Howathe freshman smoker, and thereason that he charges no asion is that the stripper is his

GO FRIDAY-RETURN SUNDAYPlymouth, Eastern Slope,.Littleton, Whitefield.Incaster and Dartmouth Region. (Laconia $4.62 plus tx).

Call CAP. 5070 for Schedules

GO SATURDAY-RETURN SUNDAYPlymouth. Laconia. Eastern Slope, Lttleton. Whitefield,

ancaster. and Dartmouth Region.Call CAP. 5070 for Schedules

SUNDAY SNOW TRAIN TO EASTERN SLOPEGoing: Returning:

v. No. Station. .8:10 a.m. Lv. Intervale .. .5:00 p.m.

Lv. Reading .... 8:26 a. m. Lv. No. Conway.5:10 p. m.1No Dining Car--,Samdwichea and coffee sold on train.

FREE BOOKLET-The Snow TrainBooklet (the "Bible" of the winter sporatenthusiasts) tells where the SnowTrainsgo; allaboutthe rates, as well as contain- t5ing thelist of hotels, inns, etc., open forwinter sports. Get your copy free. Ad-dressDesk F -PassengerDept.,NorthStation, Boston 14, Mass.

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