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things will come out of this. God is all-knowing, all-powerful, andall-loving. Everything about this is perfect and is happening for avery, very good reason.

Silver metal that is being refined certainly is not eager to be burned

in a fiery pot to remove its imperfections, but its willing to do so,trusting in its creator and knowing it is necessary for its ultimatepurpose, joy, beauty, and betterment.

So just know that not only am I going to be totally fine, we are allgoing to be much better off because of this. Im figuring out whatto eat and how to treat it and my body will get back to normal.

So thank you for your thoughts of faith, compassion,

encouragement and love. We feel that, and are blessed by it. Yourpositive energy and love is amazing.

And for those who may feel fear or are worried for any reason,please try not to spend any of your valuable energy worrying.Worry is based in fear that something bad may happen and is notproductive since it is in opposition of faith. There is nothing badthat can possibly happen. So be of good cheer, and see Gods handand goodness in it. As I lie here, and despite bowel pain and

diarrhea, I am in awe and amazement at the beauty of life and thegoodness of God. And it certainly doesnt make much sense to methat others might be worried or despairing on my behalf while Imfeeling so much love and peace.

Thank you again for all of your care and desires to help! We reallyappreciate it. The biggest challenge for me is feeling incapable ofhelping Nan with the burden of a newborn and 3 other youngchildren with a lot of needs. Nan is so strong and capable, but its a

big weight to bear. So thank you for your attempts to lighten theload. Nans Mom is coming over to help in about a week which willbe a huge blessing.

Life is amazing!

Love, Aaron

0"' 3'P7 M'- ;.#? 2&6;+I'; ?1431M1I.379# /671>.7134 .3; '3I6+&.41341/2&6>'/'37O 0"'


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going to do it all when Mom leaves, but I keep thinkingoptimistically and am hopeful that Aaron will start improving and hewill be able to get out of bed more and feel better.

The doctor put Aaron on a pretty heavy dose of

immunosuppressant and steroid drugs right now in an effort toreduce inflammation and stop his immune system from attackinghis intestinal wall. He has never been a big fan of prescriptiondrugs but is following the doctors suggestions while also trying tofix his diet and remove anything that may be fueling the fire. Hisdiet consists of well-cooked veggies, chicken and beef stock, and alittle meat. No grains, legumes, or sugars, and very little fruit.Before this flare up started a month ago, he was a healthy 178 lbs,running 60-90 minutes a day and feeling great. Now he is 153 lbs

and his daily exercise consists of waddling to and from thebathroom. He was able to stand up a little bit more this week andlast night we actually went on a "date night" to Whole Foods to geta new probiotic supplement and some foods to try. He made it tothe vitamin aisle before he had to sit down and go back to the car.He is very weak and just cannot stand for very long.

We have been working closely with a nutritionist who cured herown Crohns disease through diet and she is trying to help us get

Aaron's diet dialed in. Over the next couple of weeks we also have

appointments with a few more doctors to get some more bloodwork and second and third opinions. We want to be sure he has thecorrect diagnosis and also get some opinions about which drugsand diet are best for treating it.

Things to be grateful for this week: Aaron's weight seems to havestabilized (not much loss this week) and his appetite is improving.

Visits from Grandma Suzi, Papa Duck, and Grandma Evans havelifted our spirits and been super helpful and comforting. Abe seems

to be doing a little better with his attitude and communicatingbetter about his feelings (he was SUPER stressed out and sad a fewweeks ago). Breanne is a little angel and helps me SO much. Ali ishaving a blast with her aunts, uncles, and cousins in Utah (THANK

YOU, Emily and Ashley!) Kelsie is growing well and is a happy,pleasant baby. And last, but not least, we have SO many lovingfamily and friends who are pulling for Aaron and praying on ourbehalf. THANK YOU!!!

Love,

Nan0"'&' -.? "62'L 0"134? ".; 76 ?7.&7 1/2&6>134J &14"7) !' -'&' ;6134

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From:Nan KennardSent:Tuesday, October 30, 2012 3:23 AMTo:Aaron KennardSubject:Abe

I am sorry to report but our son has now spiraled down into full onself-deprecating, weeping, bawling, self-blamed depression. I knowyou think he just needs to change his thoughts and I need to

expect him to but I also know from personal experience exactlyhow he is feeling and I refuse to continue to follow your suggestionto crack down and take things away from him and expect him to

just rise up and be a man today. He has already had so much takenaway from him and is mourning the loss of the happy, patient,gentle father he once had.

He needs love, patience, understanding and peace. I am trying SOhard to give that to him and I am sorry if you feel like I amsabotaging him. I am trying my best to follow the Spirit and to love

Abe in God's way. Abe told me he feels like he doesn't matter andno one cares about how he is feeling. He wishes you would stay inthe hospital longer because you were mean and angry and he isafraid you have become that way forever.


84/146

I think you need to keep focused on healing yourself and I willkeep trying to not stress you with all the crap going on at home. Iknow we will get through this eventually but I am not delusional inthinking it is going away tonight. If God is telling me to take Abeout of school for a while, don't you dare tell me I am wrong and Iam spoiling him. You have no idea the full extent of what is goingon because you have been so consumed with your own pain andsuffering lately and believe me I don't blame you. You have beenthrough Hell and back and I am sorry for how trying that has been.We are in Hell, too. And it sucks.

So I may just have to hold Abe near me for a while and cry withhim because frankly I am depressed, too, and I am sick and tired offighting with Abe and taking away the last few things that bring

him peace. I can't sleep through this pain and I need Abe to loveme rather that hate me for punishing him for feelings he is notactually as in control of as you may think. You work on yourself andI will work on me and Abe.

I love you and I know you'll be yourself again soon. Keep beingstrong and optimistic. I will be strong and optimistic, too. I amsorry I don't do things the way you think I should but at least I amstanding by you. I am pretty sure other women would have

crumbled under this weight weeks ago. But I am still standing byyou, praying for and envisioning your healthy return.

Yours in Faith,Nan

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From:Aaron Kennard

Sent:Tuesday, October 30, 2012 6:56 AM

To:Nan Kennard

Subject:Re: Abe

Thanks, Nan. I will defer to your judgment in following the spirit onit.


85/146

That was clearly a poor way to handle things by me yesterday andIm so sorry. I will do my best to make it up to Abe, and you.

It should have been between you and me in a place of me listening

and trying to understand the situation a lot better.

I love you and support you and know God will guide you as to whatis best. You really are amazing, so strong, and are a literal angel tome. I am so sorry for the harm and setback I caused.

Yesterday, right as you left initiated 12 hours of Hell for me.

All the food I ate that morning and afternoon began a torturebloating session on my bowels. It turned into the next 4-5 hours ofme tossing/turning and trying through intense wound wrenchingstomach pain, to puke.

Medicine after med, pain killer, Zofran, anti-nausea, nothingworking. Finally at 9 or 10 PM I had 5 staff working on me trying tofigure it out.

And somehow miraculously I puked finally, kind of a lot. It was Hell,though. And then it got worse. They had to ram a plastic tubedown my nose into my stomach to suction everything out. It's stillthere. I have slept maybe an hour tonight through major hiccups.Hours later it is still sucking out bile. But hugely relieving is thestomach cramps and bloating are gone.

I love you,

Aaron

('& '/.19 '.?'; /# .463#J


86/146

Im so sorry about the harsh words I spoke to you yesterday. I wish Icould take the whole conversation back, but I can't.

I love you, Abe. And I want you to be happy. And I want to be theloving father you deserve.

I am very sick right now and I am having a hard time being the dadyou deserve. That is not your fault. But I will get better, and I will bethere for you again.

You are such an amazing son, Abe. I'm so proud of you and sograteful to be in your family.

I know our Heavenly Father will help you and me, and Mom and thegirls through this tough time.

God loves you. He loves us.

And I ask you to please forgive me for not speaking to you as lovingas God would have yesterday. Please know that you can always turn

to your Heavenly Father in prayer for comfort, even when yourearthly father is struggling. God never struggles, He is perfect andHe is always there for us.

I love you, Abe!

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