Issued' Div* Weekly by the Students Publication s

VANC'

RUGBY AND SOCCER

PROSPECTS G

Contest To-Di

For Rep

All Studen* wishing to 1,7 outreporters on U . Jby

willatnoonto.dayintha '

7 0To the ambitious

Freshet'. and to an7 iupper years who still " . . .

nurses a belief in Santa dcvieraser offers its wsU-'wom

ladder to journ alIstic •Uoo.0which the Ant tread is • eRee pporate

rper s' C

o undouts

ergcl

ththi

sceseary in theircompetluve tr

nethe obnt bmilts y

.utteIn the

brilliarfl

. . .emerge from the cocoon iwraps about them, our refree to flit from l.it to yebright copy paper baya tracery of word. whieb cr1Into forgetfulness by succeedl*terday ; for notbin; Is so dM4 . .Journal of the Preceding day .

Nor is this IL Those who AI ttrill any inky plume • . the servlc ofAlma Mater, maysharp goose-quill o. . .00• and when

bItter enough ny become0 edItor, martin g inthat a

eenlor editor. Onlytrom 0mb 5does the g*udy public ' butemerge ; and Instanced are -notIng of those who Olt pr9udly " Ipbus potentlum" end wield thspolitical omee, who feU to thu restate from the lowly desk-chairthe patient scribe . Tq . put it plainlymany a member of Parliament ltart,4life as a printer's devil ; ad whoknowi wber one whoA , .

ll1 b. s very busy season forI. Utirary $oot•ty it psns

n$ fonuul&tsd ira it all suo

*t plus & oontItuttou torPiriliment bu beens rudy for sdopUon ,t s primarily for the

student effeirs and tomembers with psr*ur.. It will deal witht questions as Mt*.

00 system, fraterni.$th1etioi credtts, an d.IW Enthuslists are

organlus papties with ddnites Ofl uoh quesUons . As well

a mrn regular aotivt$Ii, theon.. wUl oeoealonsUy repolve ite1f0 Mok rflament when it will. mq uoh ipterestins asseniblies a s

Federal House, th e&tIoi, the Russian sovie t0, T • , Membership intsh Parliament will be re.. bonside members of the

r Society.L. 13. iillo Intends to hold

'irns from time to time. AtniHtIna free and candid dimn ot tofeal subject. I. afforded

cy.?, metab* prmnt. In all ro1117 forum will be held in the

cry nsr future, at which all stud .,u, iQuding Preabm.n, 'PdIL be abl eto is" their views odlnItIatIon .- -

-trIsli are abio on the list oflity's aottt$ttes. The threeears can remember the very1 mock trial at the beginning Dr. KilnOk then adverted to resist .

t year when the plaintiff wee ration to date. He compared the totalWho 1nue. This year the M. it Tuesday's openin of 1459 with th e

tth 'ih •eoopflsUcs . .d"4iu4M8 ohms,

akmd that.omen's Literary Society, will strive the freshman class Is already one ofconcoct at least one trial of equal distinction in that it is the largeat

peal .

.

ever enrolled . "Time," he said, "willAddresses on topical subjects will determine whether it is the boat ."

be given to the M.L.S. by men who Cqntlnuing Dr. Kilnek warned thehave gained prominence in different freshmen of the added responsibilit yspheres of activity . At the close of of university life. "Here1 " he said ,inch addresses the meeting will bo "you aim to do many of the thing' sthrown open, and all present will be that you did In high school and man yinvited to air their views on the sub- more as well . You are not here pet-teat .

manly to acquire information or toDebating Is, of course, one of the store your minds with facts gathere d

main activities of the Society . Inter. from lectures or prescribed texts, innClass debates will be held as soon as portent and valuable as these may b epossible, in order to allow plenty of These things you will do, but as yo utime before examinations begin . progress you will discover that yo uClass literary representatives are are here to learn co use references, t ourged to get in touch with the M .L .S. become acquainted with originalexecutive immediately, to organize de . sources of information, to develop In .bating teams from the different years, tellectual Initiative, to eork tee mAt present time Arts '28 holds the pendently—in short, to develop soundhandsome shield and has every in . habits of study, to do independent, ye ttet1oa of retaining it for at least an. disciplined, thinking, and abQve all ,other year. Inter-class debates will scholastically speaking, to cultivatebe held during the noon hour so that that finest and rarest of scholarl yall students may attend .

achievements, intellectual integrity .Two university teams will again en -

ter the City Debating League, with re-doubled efforts to carry off the trophy .This league includes the crack debat .jng teams of such well-known Van-couver organizations as the Y .M .C.A. ,Gyro Club, and Law Students, wh owill prove worthy of our steel .

Contests will probably be arrange dwith Victoria College and the princi-pal Vancouver High Schools, As theseactivities will be limited to the Fresh .men and Sophomores, an opportunit yis afforded the forensic stars of Art s'30 to distinguish themselves .

Inter-Collegiate debates with th eUniversities to the south and eas twill occupy the time of our mor ebrilliant speakers . For example, theV.B.C. will probably again enter th ePrairie Debating League against theUniverettlee of Alberta, Saskatche-wan and Manitoba. Varsity's end o fthe organization of those debateN I sconducted by the Debates Manage rrather than by the MLS,, but clos eco-operation Is assured ,

A feature of the year will be theMen's Oratorial Contest, Ample op-portunities for tryouts will he afford-ed to every man in the University ,and it is expected that a large uu mher of competitors will enter the lists .The contest will be held either Int othis autumn

early next spring ,The Men's Literary Society remain s

a closed organization with limite dmembership . All male students wh oare interested in public s peaking areeligible for membership, and applIc atiOflM are now in order, Prospectiv emembers should either send a note t othe Secretary, Mr. D. Murphy, or seeany member of the executive, it I sadvisable to act at once,

President and ChancellorAddress the Student Doil y

Addresses liven by Duns also. Unusually lsPs numberberof Freshmen attend. Increased Registration.

Sngllsh rugby got away to a flyingstart Saturday afternoon whc twe*tyflve men pursued the pigskin forthe first time this season ,

Varsity has scoured two very ablecoaches this year, Stan Fsrquharson ,Crater Aft.Blsck developed Ju tyear's brilliant backSeld and with th eadoption of New Zealand rules willbe particularly useful . Jack Tyr.Whitt has foi years coached andplayed for Vancouver Rip,, Varsity' straditional foe, and being this con .versant with Varsity's weaknessesshould soon remedy thorn His Sm .Hat in intensive trilning 'wee shownby the way he made things macp onSaturday.

MeKechnie Cup prospects are cxtremely pleasing according to BertTupper, captain of the squad. Lastyear's fast backfield is practically in -tact, and a powerful serum has beenbuilt18

0andup lbsaveragi

nweiIn.

g8ght

.feetAfte

rIn aheighttwo-

year sojourn in Vancouver hands Pupper to confident that the McKechnicup will again adorn Varsity's halls.

The entry ot Science and Art.teams in the Miller Cup series shouldproduce keen competition as Inter.faculty rivalry always runs high. Asthe teams will be very evei1y hal.anced, the ioIenee.Arts tuisle proM 'ise to be one of the seuon's bi gOVUflII, Two intermediate teams areentered as *ugh' one composed en.tirely of Freshmen . A third team willbe entered if sufficient players turnout to justify It.

A general meeting of the Rugb yClub, open to all interested, will b eheld on Wednesday, Sept. 29th, atnoon In Room App. Sc.. 1 ' O. A prac-tl' weir be • -bold the ' i dfty t:15 p .m. on the Varsity playing field .

w .on their futures are urged to attenda meeting at 3 p.m, to-day _MOM*day) In the office of the Pubileatl oBoard, Auditorium Building wherechief reporter will Instruct thithe details of the contest and dpatch them upon assignments whiChwill constitute their first (but . It is tobe hoped, not their last) affront uponpublic intelligence .

But you have not reached that ex-alted position yet . Few, very few,ever attain unto it, even though it i sthe goal towards which every truestudent aspires ."

SOCCE RBecause every sport manager is o p.

timistic aout winning cups in th ecoming year, the president of thesoccer club has decided to be opti.mistic too. According to Stan Galethe Varsity first Soccer Team i sabout to enter on its most successfu lseason .

Although no very definite statementcan be made so early in the season ,it would appear that Varsity will hav ea strong eleven in the field when it sfirst Pacific Coast League fixturecomes off . Soccer followers are jubi -lant over the return of Marry Mosher .A far as Varsity is concerned ther eI, only one 1-leggie and the announce -ment yesterday that he would againguard the nets for U.D .C . has causeduniversal. rejoicing. It is also re -ported that Lorrie Baker with th eever steady Crute, will play fullback .On the half line the team will hav eGeorge Lediagham, "Bustler' Bill Phil -lips, and Jack Crees, The team hassuffered a big lose in Yip, who ha s

(Continued on page 2 )

In referring to the relation betweenfaculty and students President KiInc kspoke in terms which perhaps con .tamed something of the sinister an dthe awful when he said that the pro-fessors are more terrible by theirdeeds than by their words . He as-sured students, however, that pro .

Rules for Parking_The University Authoritaa

have prepared a parking apacenorth of the Administration an dAuditorium Buildings, All car sore to be parked there, and unde rno circumstances will cars be per-mitted to park, oven tempohiril yon any road, or place within theUniversity grounds . Students willdrive up to the white line an dwhen leaving they will drivestraight ahead, no backing up be-ing necessary .

Subscribing members of theFaculty and Staff have had opengarages built for them in the rear

the power ho .e .

Rooters' Club Has

New Song Book Out

Handbooks Will BeReady on Thursday

The Rooters' Club aiinounces th epublication of the newly-edited son $boo' prepared last year, and contain-ing, on its own avowal, "songs for th echeerful, for the sentimental, for mu-atcians and for those who wish merelyto make a noise ." Students may piflchase without confessing into' whichclass of the foregoing they tall ; andif there is a small number not dash .flue of even making a not, lot thembuy the book and receive the 'furl-ens enjoyment of interpreting the"noise" of others by means of thepointed word beneath their own eyes.

Singing, according to the editor ofthe song-book, is spontaneous ; and itthere be those among us who havebeen told they cannot rival the sweetnightingale, lot them not be dismayed ,for It . S. Menoken has but lately dl*covered that bird-songs in genera lmay be regarded as a cacaphonlo dis-cord. }tntLer let us all trust the cvidonee of the bathroom, where all menare subtly encouraged in the secretl ycherished belief that they se blessedIn the possession of grand-operavoices ; and, so trusting, buy song-hooks and transmute the printed verseinto the tuneful carol. The book ison sale at the Publication Board O-ces, Auditorium Building . The priceis Twenty-five Cents .

The 1926-27 Handbook, revised an dbrought up-to-date, in somewhat lar g .or form and more pretentious ap-pearance, is ready for distributionamong the students this week . Thep UFPGMU of the book which is i genu-ine and very necessary aid to mom -bore of Freshmen and upper years, a swell as 10 executive and club mom -bore, is to condense in handy form al linformation, as Its preface states, "o freasonable interest to students ." Al lrecognized societies with a short syn-opsli of their work, all athletic pur-nuit, all major social events, arelisted in this useful little book . Inaddition it contains a full diary fo rthe academic years, several sheets ofmemorandum, time tables, bus sche-dules, directories to University build .legs, and a map of the campus . Nostudents should be without one as avade mecum ;" It Is, in every sens e

of the word, a Student Calendar,

COMMENCEMEN TSeptember 28th, 192 1

Youth dwells in all our thoughts,yet in our voices

Are echoes of the tones ourfathers hear d

In other days and lands : theheart rejoices ,

But by an unseen hand th estrings are swept ,

And by an unseen power th edepths are stirred .

The magic words of those wholong have slept

Wrapped in the kindly earth theyglorifie d

Speak to us from the twilight ofthe yem's ;

And in the strength, once theirs ,we lay asid e

The lethargy in which our soul sare bound ,

Our idle boasting and our foolis hfears ,

And And this common soil Isholy ground .

H. T. J . COLEMAN.

The twelfth session of the University of British Columbia was ooIsllyopined on Tuesday morning, September With . For half an hour after thedoors of the auditorium were opened the students kept pouring in. And forcoins time after the faculty had taken their placem the students continued t oenter. The auditorium was crowded to capacity and an overflow crowd tille dthe hell.

Despite the rain, and the fact that it was their first experience of vat.vernity life foP the freshmen, everyone was happy . It was go9d to see thefaculty procession again . a dignified procession heeded by Chancellor Mo .Kechnie and President Klinck . When the members of the procession hadtaken their seats every student expectantly awaited the President's addressof welcome .

.The President began by wholeheartedly welcoming all the students . In

particular he enteuded his best wishes to the freshmen and expressed th ehope that they would soon become accustomed to university life . Havingwelcomed the students he then greeted the faculty . Referring to the facultybe meld in part, 'These we welcome to an the duties and reeponulblliuea, a s

.well as to ill the rights and prkl. -i.'- .leg.. appertaining to their high fessors are genuinely ansJou .i.omce, om New Zealand, Qrut tablish perfectly natural human $la .Britain, the Continent, Iliastern Can. tionships. They prefer that the. re-ada, and the United States they have latlone be direct and persobal rathercome. The return of some of our ovn than diplomatic or official;graduates to All posts on tb profas In conclusion, the Prisident saidserial staff is idao particularly gritit that next to the faculty the earnes ttint., We welcome thorn bcau.e of student is the most Important factortheir record as undergraduatis while In the University's life . "Here as inhere ; becaure of their .iolaolutlo the world outside," he concluded ,achievements as post graduates else- "every man is the architect of hiswhere, and because of what we confi- own career . The University In Itsdently ex pect they will do now that staff, its library and its physica lthey have returned to us," equipment, has brought to g tber men

and material from a thousand sources ,but upon you, lndlvidually reCta theresponsibility for utilizing these In.l&es aeu

be u. .. .

sedrOsts API

•i9withiq . .. How .

they ih*ll

your•solves, "

Chancellor R. E. McKoohnie als owelcomed the students . In introduc-ing him President Klinck paid awarm tribute to the way in whic hChancellor MeKechnie has given ofhis time and his effort in behalf o feducation .

Although he admitted that it washis ambition to be connected wit huniversity work, Dr. MeKechnie sai dthat for him there was nothing bu tsatisfaction in It. In a humorou svein he recalled his own experience sas freshman at McGill forty yearsago. "In those days," remarked th ec h an ce I loi', "ever y every freshman wasmarked for Hlaughtr by two or threeupper claesmen ; hut to-clay I hear o fa Big Sister movement which you are

organizing to protect freshmen . "The Chancellor pointed to the in -

creased attendance as a sign of th etimes, namely, that there is a grow-ing spirit in favor of higher education ."We want an educated people," heemphasized, "to appreciate and (love -lo p the resources of our country. "Continuing, Dr. McKechnie referre dwith pride to the enviable record o fgraduates from this University and t othe outstanding scholarship of th efaculty. Speaking especially to thefreshmen he earnestly charged themto grasp the importance of their uni-versity courses. "Decide early," h esaid, "what you are going to be, wha tyou are going to do. To-day you can-not hope to know everything, or t odo everything. Hero there are influ-ences bearing on you moulding you rcharacter, And I would say to you ,Think well what you with to becom ethen each day gain some useful know-ledge along that line . "

[)r . Kiluck then called upon th eDean of each faculty to address th estudents Dean Brock of the facult yof Applied Science in a few remark swelcomed the freshman . He said that()flO thin g only would make them suc-('esNfIl in University or in life, tha tthat thin g Is work, syHtematic work ,l)eni Clement of the faculty of Agri-vulture, speaking next, warned th efrt'shn,en to "tic slowly ." Dean Ilol .lorE, Dean of Women, 501(1 all thes1tHients should remember what agreat opportunity is theirs . DeanColeman of the faculty of Arts andScience, speaking along much thesame line, referred to education as abirthright . He stated that any uni-ve rsity is built upon a foundation lai dpermanently and well by those wh olived centuries ago, whose names un-sung have perished from the earth .

The ceremony, long to be remem-bered by ninny a student, closed wit hthe singing of God Save the King .

Out-of-Town Girls' Tea

In accordance with established cue -torn, President and Mrs . Klinck willentertain the out-of-town wome nstudents of the first and second year sat their home, 2026, 13th Ave . West ,on Saturday afternoon, October 2nd ,at

o'clock .

(Member of Pacific Inter-Collegiate Press Association) .Issued every Tuesday and Friday by the Student Publications Board of the

University of British Columbia, West Point Grey .

Phone : Varsity 1484

Mail Subscriptions rate: 88 . per year . Advertising rates on application.

Editorial StaffEDITOR•IN•CHIEF—Edmund Morrison .

Senior Editors—David Warden and Donald Calver tAssociate Editors—Jean Tolmie and George Davidso n

Vesture Editor—F. C. Pllkington,

Assistant Editor—Doris Crompton.

Chid Reporter—Donald Gillingham .

Sport Editor—Veruard Stewart .P,I,P .A. Editor—W. E. Thompso n

Cartoonist—George Thompson .Literary Editor —Daroy Marsh .

Iuslnese StaffBusiness Manager--Gerald Stevens ,

IdItore4or. ha•lssue l,

i•

, ., ;

KLA•HOW-YA HThus to welcome our friends old and new, we lift our feet fro m

e editorial desk where summer idleness has permitted them topole and with gentle atrokings of our pen we rouse the UbysseyWits halcyon season to make for its wonted flight across th e

current of our winter activities . While yet its wings are stretchingarid ruffling preparatory to soaring, a pleasant drowsiness, aftermathof deep, unbroken rest, insures good humour to its voice ; and whil ethe sleepy palm of Morpheus still lulls in rest that critical facult yW itch may later utter querulous complaint, we undertake our Initia ldilly, than which none could be more to our taste . We greet hero -

,With, another college 0eneration ; we welcome the latest and lustiestWant, the class of '30 .

At the .present moment we shall refrain from the recital of dul lprecepts or the utterance of lengthy admonition, and this for tw oreaeons, of which the latter is derived from the former . Imprimis ,we had had but short acquaintance with the incoming class and s oWould not presume, as do doctors, to diagnose upon a moment' snotice ; seeoadly, as was suggested in the preceding paragraph, w eare yet drowsing and averse to undertaking a serious probe of th ehealth of the new member of our academic family, or forecastin gthe progress of its malady .

Let it suffice that we repeat our greeting to Arts '30, elaboratin g'upon it to the extent of wishing them during their stay with us th every best that the years can offer, assuring them, out of our exper-ience, that much is to be given and much to be gained. It is, further ,gtti belief that Arts '30 will give much and, in so doing carry on th etradition established by former classes of which three, still within

"these ', -

walls, utter the sentiments just now echoed by the Ubyssey .

THE EXODUSAlthough students are today greeting old friends, and exchang-

i g , pleasant accounts of summer holidays or summer work, they mus tnotice with regret the absence of many familiar friends . Some ofthe are remaining out for a year, some have left university, some ar eattending other universities . This year the number of those wh ohave left the U. B. C. for other universities is far in excess of thenumber in former years .

Just why students are leaving this university for other college sis not entirely apparent . Of course, we realize that certain courses ,such as . the medical course, are not given here . We realize, too ,that old universities attract young students . But these facts d onot explain why Arts students are leaving this university for McGil lor Toronto. Perhaps, because of high fees, they have decided toattend universities of greater repute . Perhaps too, it is a sign of th etimes, this thing of students travelling to gain experience, to broadentheir viewpoint and outlook on life . We very much motet, however ,

that they have not remained with us until graduation day, . Fo rthey could be of more service here, in our young university, tha nthey can there in old universities ,

AN APOLOGY AND A REQUES TIt is but to be expected that, during the rush and confusion o f

commencement, the work of the Ubyssey staff will be somewha thampered and that the first two issues at least, will bear marks o fthe pressure under which they have been turned out . We thereforeask the indulgence and co-operation of the student body until aroutine shall have been established to ensure a proper representationin these columns of all student activities . To this end, we ask al lsecretaries of clubs and athletic organizations to assist the staff a smuch as possible in securing copy relative to meetings and futur e.activities, by turning in announcements to the Publications Office .

The "Ubyssey" takes pleasureIn announcing that Mr, Geral dStevens of Arts '23, was at thefiat meeting of the Students 'Council, appointed Business Manitiger of the "Ubyssey" to All apost left vacant by the resigna-tion of Mr. Dlgby Leigh, Arts It

POST LISTS OFBIG SISTER S

The attention of all the wome nstudents Is called to the Big Siste r

rod Little Sister list on the notice

oards, All the Big Sisters are re -guested to get In touch with thei rLittle Sisters as soon as possible, andhelp them to understand the Uni-versity ways, and generally initiatethem Into the mysteries of a Univer-sity career, Try to give them as gooda time as possible, all you Big Sisters ,and don't let them feel lonesome .

Announcement

Prospects Bright forRugby and Soccer

(Continued from Page 1)gone to Kingston . The managemen twill have to scour the rnlveratty fo rforwards . Jeff Emery has returne dand will, in all probability, appear atoutside left. Many former second tea mmen will try out for the first eleven ,

The first team is fortunate in hav eing as manager John Lierech So. W .Lierech, rt veteran of many a campaign, is being relied upon to get to-gether a strong eleven .

The Soccer Club glens to enter a tleast three teams, so there will be an ynumber of opportunities for youn gplayers . The first practice Is toda yat 8 p.m. at Athletic Park .

FOOTBALL PRACTICE TODAY AT8 P.M. ALL. TEAMS OUT AT

ATHLETIC PARK, FIPT HAVE. AND HEMLOC K

STREET

The Literary Editor wishes to an-nounce that he has definitely retiredfrom competition with the featur eeditor, who operates the "LitanyCoroner, "

It has been considered advisable t oalter the whole policy of the Literar yCorner. Instead of printing eachweek a solitary student effort it hasbeen decided to devote a page ever yfortnight to topics of literary Interes tsubmitted by members of the Facult yand of the Student body. It wil leasily be understood that the successof this will depend mostly upon theeu'.tability and quantity of contribu-tions . Anythin g of literary value•- •either poetry or promo—will be wet .come .

During previous years this partiatetar branch of the "Ubyssey"—owin gprimarily to the fact that the materia lsubmitted has been comparativelyscarce—has been maintained onl ywith difficulty, Consequently It lehoped that the Faculty and student swill give their best support . All con •tributlons should be addressed to theLiterary Corner and left at the "U.byasey" office in the auditorium build-ing.

NEW APPOINTMENTSMADE TO FACULTYThe following list of new appoint-

ments to the Faculty of the Universit yhas been announced from the office ofthe President .Mr. F. S. Nowise, B. A. (Acadia) ,

A .M. (Harvard), Ph .D. (Chicago) .Professor of Mathematics .

Dr. T. C. Phemister, 1.80 . (Glasgow) ,M.So . (Chicago), Ph .D. (Glasgow )Associate Professor of Mineralogyand Petrography ,

Mr. F. W. Vernon, B.Sc . (London) ,Associate Professor of Mechanica lEngineering .

Mrs . J . B. Wyman, B .A., B.80 ., M.Sc . ,(University of New Zealand) ,A .M ., Ph.D. (Stanford), Assistan tProfessor of Phycbology and Edu-cation ,

Mr. J . Allen Harris, B .A ., M.A. (Brit .Col .), Ph.D. (Illinois), AssistantProfessor of Chemistry .

Mr. Leonard Stacey, B .A.Se. (Brit .Col.), Assistant Professor ofElectrical Engineering .

Mr. J . R. Grant, B .So . (Queen's), Lec-turer in Civil Engineering .

Mr. Norman A . Robertson, 8 .A. (Bri tCol .), B .A. (Oxford), Lecturer inEconomics .

Mr. A. G. Stuart, B . So. (McGill), In -structor in Civil Engineering .

George Allen, B . A. (Brit. Col.) As.sistant In Economics

R. H. Ball, B . A. (Brit . Col .), Assist .ant in Chemistry ,

Carl F. Barton, B.A,So . (Brit . Col .) ,Assistant In Civil Engineering .

Miss Sarah J . Battle, B.A. (Smith) ,M .A. (Brit . Col .), Assistant in(:erinan .

Miss Mildred H . Campbell, B .A . (Brit .Col .), Assistant in Botany .

Miss Jean Davidson, B .A . (Brit . Col .) ,Assistant la Botany .

Mr . Walter Gage, M .A . (Brit, Col .) ,Assistant in Mathematics .

Mr . A . F . Gallaugher, B .A . (Brit . Col .) ,Assistant In Chemistry .

Mr. Braham G. Griffith, B .A . (Brit .Col .), Assistant in Botany .

Mr. W . A . Jones, B .A .So . (Brit . Col .) ,Assistant in Geology .

Mr. A. P. Mellish, B .A. (Brit . Col .) ,Assistant in Mathematics .

Miss Madge Portsmouth, B .A. (Brit .Col .), Assistant in French .

Mr. D. F. Stedman, B .Sc . (Brit . Col.) ,Ph.D. (London), Assistant inChemistry.

Mr. Hugh Tarr, B .B .A. (Brit . Col,) ,Assistant in Dairying .

Miss Wesele Tipping, B .A. (Brit . Col .) ,Assistant in French .

Miss Dorothy Wroughton, B .A. (Ox-ford), Assistant in English.

Those students who have not yetsecured their copies of "The Totem, "the 1926 Annual, may do so at th ePublications Board Office, Auditoriu mBuilding, where these volumes will boon sale from today ()retards . Theprice Is One Dollar to all studentshaving paid Alma Mater Fees.

Members are advised that Kin gEdward High School Gymnasium I savailable for play on Tuesday even-ings from 8 o'clock, commencing thi sweek, and effective until furthernotice .

After listening to the noise underthe auditorium we feel that a songcalled "Cafeteria " would be a worthysuccessor to "Valencia" and "Barre-Ions . "

Annuals May Be Had

BADMINTON

Ely Pni5eroilg of PM* Columbia

Information to Students

FEE S

All cheques must be certified and made payable to "TheUniversity of British Columbia . "

1 . The sessional fees are as follows :

For Full and Conditioned Undergraduate s

In Arts and ScienceFirst Term, payable on or before Oct . 11th $50.00Second Term, payable on or before Jan. 24th 50.00

-$100.00In Applied Science

First Term, payable on or before Oct . 11th $75 .OpSecond Term, payable on or before Jan . 24th 75 .00

---_4150.00

n AgricultureFirst 'Perm, payable on or before Oct. 11th $50 .00Second Termi, payable on or before Jan . 24th 50 .00

-$100.00

In NursingFirst Term, payable on or before Oct . 11th $50.00Second Term, payable on or before Jan . 24th 50 .00

---•—$100.00

Alma Mater Fee—Payable on or before Oct . 11th $ 7.00

Caution Money—Payable on or before Oct . 11th 5 .00

For Partial Student s

Fees per "Unit"—Payable on or before Oct . 11th 10.00

Alma Mater Fee—Payable on or before Oct . 11th 7.00

Caution Money—Payable on or before Oct . 11th 5 .00

In Teacher Training CourseFirst Term, payable on or before Oct . 11th $30 .00Second Term, payable on or before Jan . 24th 30 .00

- $ 60.00

For Graduate s

Registration and Class Fee—Payable on or before Oct .

15th $ 25.00

After these dates an additional fee of $2 .00 will be exacted

of all students in default .

The Alma Mater Fee is a fee exacted from all students fo r

the support of the Alma Mater Society . It was authorized b ythe Board of Governors at the request of the students them -

selves .

The Caution Money is a deposit from which deductions willbe made to cover breakages, wastage, and use of special material s

in laboratories, etc. If the balance to the credit of a student

falls below $1 .50, a further deposit of $5 .00 may be required .

2. Immediately after October 11th and January 24th, theBursar will notify students who have not paid their fees tha tsteps will be taken to ensure their exclusion from classes whil e

the fees remain unpaid .

3. Students registering after October 11th shall pay theirfees at the time of registration, failing which they become sub-ject to the provisions of Regulation 2 .

4. Special fees are : —Regular supplemental examination, pe r

paper $ 5,00Special examination, per paper 7 .50Graduation 20.00

Supplemental examination fees must be paid two week sbefore the examination, special examination fees when applica-tion for examination is made, and graduation fees two week sbefore Congregation .

F. DALLAS,Bursar,

SEPTEMBER 29TIL, 1926

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Why make the Fresh wear a greenribbon? Any other color would b ebetter—More of a contrast .

One thing about Registering ; theydo not swear you In . You do theswearing afterwards .

After noticing the bonedust on thecampus a Freshman asked it thatwas the famous "Valhalla" cemeter ysite . A brutal senior remarked thata science man had probably scratche dhis head .

Speaking of music ; the composerof "Bye, Bye, Blackbird" has some-thing to crow about.

.Everybody can now appreciate th e

expression : "Calendar daze . ".

A treat is afforded all Freshme nwho wander into the Library base-ment. They can spend hours en-joying themselves at the electrichand•dryer . The man who inventeda way to make the Fresh enjo ywashing their hands was a genius ,

"Why is a Feature editor like aclever burglar?" "I'11 bite, why?""Because he is a wise arackeman . "

.Course Joke : The Freshman who

filled in his card for 24 units .. . .

GOOD NEWS FOR FRESHME NAccording to Sunday's "Province,"

a now system has been devised by th eWoman's Undergraduate Society . Thepaper describes the details of the planand states :" . , and under It each freshman wil lbe assigned to a "Big Sitter" of theupper years . '

We are sure that every Freshmanwill heartily approve of this innova-tion .

1,469 Students (appres.) wil lregister this year,

076 Faculty speeches wil lmention the "Freshman, ""Bright shining faces, ""Bootlegging," and "Stu .dents' Song Book, "

89,770 Students speakers wil lmention "College Spirit, ""Alma Mater" and "TuumEst, "

16,400 "Biggest events of theyear" will take place —according to "Ubyssey "reporters,

2 or 8 Professorial jokes will berepeated for the benefi tof the Fresh .

97,382 Speeches on "W o r I dPeace" and the Leagueof Nations will be mad eby debaters .

140,000,181 Rubs will be given toVarsity teams by rooters .

6,064 Rahs will be given to th eopposing teams .

908 Coeds will be disap-pointed at class draws.

472 Jokes will be told at theArts men's smoker .

8 Actually humorous jokeswill be told at the Art smen's smoker .

143 Men students will try toenter "High 'links ."

143 Men students will be i nthe hospital the next day.

954 Students will begin serf •on. study One week fromexams .

630,041 Pieces of pie will be soldat the Students' Grill .

99764,881 Jokes about Freshmenwill appear in the "Ubys•soy . "

1,496 Students will try out forthe Player's Club .

19 Students will be accepte dby the Player's Club .

0,000 Science men will wearwhite collars and spats .

1,200 (Or 4 out of every 5 )students will have Py-orrhea .

LAWYER SIf a man were to give another an

orange, he would simply say : "Hav ean orange." But when the transac-tion is entrusted to a lawyer to be pu tIn writing he adopts this form : "ihereby give and convey to you, al land singular, my estate and interests ,right, title, claim and advantage o fand in said orange, together with it srind, skin, juice, pulps and pips, an dall rights and advantages therein ,with lull power to bite, cut, suck, an dotherwise eat the same or give th e:lame away with or without the rind ,skin, juice, pulp or pips, anythin ghereinbefore or hereinafter or In anyother means of whatever nature o rkind whatsoever to the contrary inany wise notwithstanding . "

And then another lawyer come salong and takes it away from you .

Litany Coroner

EVOLUTIO NThe Freshman's obviously green ,Most things he cannot understand ;He wanders 'round with vacant mien ,The Freshman's obviously green ;He gapes at what is to be seenYet tries to hide his verdant band—The Freshman's obviously green ;Most things he cannot understand .

—R.A.P.The Freshman of a year ag oIs now the strutting Sophomore,Maintaining this or that is eo—That Freshman of a year ago.For there is naught he doesn't know .He's very self-Important, forThe Freshman of a year agoIs now a strutting Sophomore .The noisy Soph, of yesteryearIs trying to be dignified ,He does his best to so appear ;The noisy Septa of yesteryearSurveys the world with haughty sneer ,And childish pranks cannot abide.The noisy Soph, of yesteryea ris trying to be dignified .The Senior thinks he's cynical.In him the fount of wisdom springs .At Education's pinnacleThe Senior thinks he's cynical ,To platitudes inimical ,And far above all mundane thingsThe Senior thinks he's cynical .In him the fount of wisdom springs .

Initiation !

INITIATION!!! What visions ofdoom do these dread syllables conjur eup In the minds of the poor, miserableFresh! In•It•I•a•tlonI All around thesehalls the youths and maidens of ten.der years stand in trembling groupsand discuss their uncertain future ."In•it•i.a•tton," whisper the Sophs . asthey gloat over their prey, Over al lhangs the dire Incubus of Initlation .

Ask any old•timer about Initiation .He will tell you a tale that will makeyour hair stand on end and freeze th emarrow of your bones . He will re•late to you at length the sufferingoof victims In the "Good Old Days,"when men were men and initiationwas INITIATION, He will regale youwith bones and rattling skeletons—masked figures — groans — sighs —screams of agony—victims being ledone by one into the Torture Chamberto be pounced upon by their heart-less tormentors !

Further Investigation will revealmore concrete facts concerning pre•views initiations, Details will com eto light of how the hapless Fres hwere seized and their forme desec-rated by a too.liberal regalia of paint,tar and other unmentionable mix-tures ;--of how they were forced toparticipate in a promiscuous beaut yparade down Hastings and Granvillestreets, incidentally stopping to polis hthe car-tracks and play Eull•in•th ering with traffic policeman ;—ot howa large proportion of the city's popu-lation, particularly the youngerbrothers of the victims, enjoyed thedisplay as much as Selle•F1oto circus ;—of how the parade finished at theC .N.R. depot where a huge bonfirewas erected and yells and songs tor-tured the night air . Thus were theFresh welcomed to the bosom of theirAlma Meter in the "Good Old Days" !

Having worked the miserable mi-nions of '30 to a state of panto b ythe above paragraphs, it is well t oenlighten him still further . Radica lchanges have bean made In the Ini-tiation program in recent years .Arta '28 had an entirely differentInitiation. Arts '29 underwent a some.what harder ceremony than their Im-mediate predecessors, but were tor-cod to earn recognition by the swea tof their brows Already many stn .dents think that these two classeshave been let off too lightly, and ad-vocate a return to the traditiona lform of initiation. Others noticethat the campus hardly conveys theperfume of violets to the olfactor ysenses, and think that a few hours ofspade-work should again fall to th elot of the verdant ones .

initiation this year will probabl ybe of the now safe and sane typo ,The danger Is that the ceremony wil lbecome a farce, and make tho uppe ryears ridiculous, The problem fo rthe initiation committee is to develo pa form of initiation that will pleaseeverybody .

Meanwhile the Freshmen may res tassured that they WILL probably hav ean Initiation of some sort this year,and that it will not be an easy one.No one can say what form the cere-mony will take ; whether it will be areversion to the traditional style, oran improved new kind . They can on-ly hope for the beet . , . .

But who can tell???

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`The Old OrderChangeth '

Tennyaon'e old gag : "The old orde rchangeth, yielding place to new,"applloe with considerable force evento this weird page, Of the threefeature editors of last term, namel yMr. McG000kle, Mr, Gaston and Mr .Sauterne, two have departed fromthis college life, and the other ha sclimbed to dizzy heights on the)our'nallntic tree. The Feature Pag eI . now obliged to hang out the sign :"Under new management . "

In previous years, the life of afeature editor was anything but arest—home . There wee a staff o fabout ftve, --consisting of the Feature .Editor-In-Chief, a couple of featureeditors, and one or two reliable con•trlbutora,—to concoct thirty .thre ehundred words of sparkling wit twic ea week. It followed that there weretimes when other activities, evenacademic work, interrupted the strea mof thought of some members, and al lthe available feature writers werecalled upon at the eleventh hour towrite thousands of words to all upapace I

In launching this year's "FunnyPage," the present feature editor hasa deep compassion for all the featurestaff (including himself), This yearhe wants 1,458 helpers—the totalenrolment of the U . B. O. everystudent, man, woman or child is here -by Invited to send a written contd .bution to this page, and receive thesame lack of consideration as is at .forded to the regular staff. In ad.dition, on the approval of the Editor-in-Chief, he intends to appoint one o rtwo regular contributors who hav eshown a high standard of ability, tothe dazzling position of feature re -porters (probationary or permanent )and opportunities for further promo .tion ,

Those students who happened toread this page last year (may thei rtribe increase!) can remember suc hfeatures as the "Litany Coroner," " ISeen To-Day," joke column, serials ,articles of a light nature, burlesques ,columns such as "Hints for Li tBugs," "Ave Atque Vale, " "Salmonand Sauterne" and variously designs .ted pieces by A. X. McO .

It would help the new staff con•siderably (and the postal authoritie simmensely) it every student wouldwrite a short letter to the FeatureEditor giving his or her opinion ofthe late federal election and previou sfeatures of this page. Such letterswill positively not be road or evenanswered ,

KAMPUS KRAX

(Statistics published by the "Ubys •soy" Bureau of Misinformation )

FORECASTS

Activities of TrackClub to Start" Early

June Id, 1926The Parker Pen Company ,

Gentlemen:At 4 :10 P. M . yesterday I took off Ir.

my Yackey plane from Checkerboardfield . When I reached an altitude o f3000 feet I leaned over the side an ddropped a Parker Ove6aiss DuofoldPen, A few minutes later I made alanding near my starting point . and acrowd was examining the same ParkerDuolold pen, which had boded onhard ground. To my great itemise ,the pen had not been dame In th eslightest by Its 3000 feet drop .

)041'1;,tzsod tr/44*ifh_hpfd NO A il.

IAe I

e Are Gladto ses you back itthe U.B.C. again I

It Is our hobby to guy fl ystudents with things thatmob their studies easie rand their social life happier .

Come in an dsee us.

Stationers, printers,i r Bngravers 0 0

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SNAPPY OLOTNEG FO RYOUNG MI N

AND MEN IYNO STA YYOUNG

ADVANCE NOTICESON ATHLETICSMEN'S SWIMMING CLU B

Plans for the season's work of th eMon's Swimming Club are welt i nhand, The executive has secured theuse of the Canadian Memorial Parkon Monday evenings from 8 :ao to10:80, and Is negotiating further wit ha view to giving members at least onehour of practice every day from Mon •days to Fridays Inclusive, It is ex-pected that Norman Cox, the coach towhom the Club owes much of itssuccess, will take charge once moreto make the present season even morenoteworthy than last, which itseif re -sulted in the status of the sport beingrained from Sub•minor to Minor .

A determined effort will be made o nthe part of the executive to reduce thefees by $1.00 although no definite an•nounoement can be made at present .It is also anticipated that, with in -creased membership and more hours ,special time and attention may be de•voted to the instruction of beginners ,

It is to the incoming class of fresh •men that the Club looks to maintai nits record, Last year, throe of thequintette at Banff were freshmen whoalso helped in the winning of theLower Mainland Championship. Abig factor in last season's success wasthe number turning out and this yea rthe membership should, In view o fadvantages recently secured, ris efrom seventyfive to one hundred andfifty .

A meeting of this Club will be hel dFriday noon In Room Arts 108 . Fresh•men are particularly requested toattend .

TENNISThe Varsity Tennis Tournament

will, In all probability, be played o nthe new concrete courts constructe dthis summer, beginning at a date no tlater than October 11th . Full an-nouncements will be made later i nthese columns as, at present, no de-finite detailed information is avail -able,

ALUMNI BASKETBAL LEfforts are lately being made to or-

ganize an Alumni Basketball Team ,composed of former Varsity stars ,such as Harold Henderson, the Ark-ley brothers, Bid Anderson, Lace yFisher, Bob Stephens, Don McKay an d

_SI others . It has been felt thpt player strained on University teams shoul dbe held together In such a way as this ,so that, upon graduation, they migh tcontinuo to play under the sponsor -ship, and with the support of, theirAlma Mater . This present team will,it possible, be entered in the Cit ySenior A League, wearing the colour sgrey, blue and gold .

Such an undertaking is worthy o fsupport from all members past andprevent of this University and, asplans proceed beyond their presen tsomewhat indefinite stage, student swill be kept informed through thi spaper .

Bus Passes Readyea_

British Columbia Electric Rail•way Certificates, entitling stud-ents arid staff' of the Universit yto purchase Bus Tickets a tspecial rates may be obtainednow, upon application at the Re .gistration Dealt, AdministrationBuilding .

Candidates for honours on BritishColumbia'* Intercollegiate track an dfield squad will get under way imme -diately according to Prank Elliott ,leading light in Varsity spiked slippe rcircles . With the Western Canada In.tercollegiate only three weeks awa ytrackman will have to make a tre-mendous effort to attain their bes tform before the team departs .

Coach Jack Buchanan will be on th etrack every day to coach the men an dwith a large squad of intercollegiatewinners back In the told a powerfu lteam can be gent east .

A meeting has been called for Fri •day noon in Science 100 when the en -tire situation will be surveyed and theplans made for the coming year.

British Columbia possesses for th efirst time a track of Its own capabl eof accomodating three lanes this fal land when more cinders are availablethe entire circuit will be completed.When the quarter mile surface is com -pletely laid out with cinders no lee sthan seven men can run on the curv eand nine on the 100 yard straight -away.

Jack Buchanan has spent fiv emonths on the tremendous task an dalthough hampered by lack of mate •rial and labour has turned out a re-markable piece of work. He has als oconstructed forty combination lo wand high hurdles that would do credi tto any of the major institutions . Suchhurdles coat nine dollars apiece whenpurchased at an official sporting good sstore. Besides the track Buchana nhas constructed three fine jumpingpits and equipped them with firm run -ways . This combination will allowpole vaulters, high jumpers and broadjumpers to work out without inter-fering with each other. The univers -ity has also purchased one of the fin -est vaulting poles that can be offeredby sporting goods stores . It has re-markable balance throughout the en-tire sixteen feet besides possessinglightness and life . The track club hasalso supplied a good javelin, shot,hammer and discus . The jumpingstandards are the official lower shaf traising system enabling the bar t obe raised and lowered without takingoff the bar .

Every man is expected to report forIntensive training immediately as h emay win points for his class at theInterclass battle in the fi.'at meet a tthe end of the month .

CANADIAN RUGBY CLUBMEETING

Prospects Bright for Coming SeasonVarsity Canadian gridiron candi-

dates will he out in force on Frida ynoon in Arts 102 to arrange turnoutsfor what promises to be one of th egreatest years in the pigskin game inthe three years the sport has flourish -ed at the college . . Backed up by theprestige of winning the Junior Can -adlan Rugby championship of th eprovince last year the senior team i sconfident that they can repeat intaster company this year . The BigThree team sails for Victoria onOctober 14th to meet the much toute dRep squad who, according to advancedope, are reputed to possess a fastdriving back division and a powerfulline. Their roster includes no les sthan seven former Intercollegiate foot-ball veterans from McGill, TorontoRoyal Military College, and Queens .The week following they tackle an -other powerful aggregation when theytangle with Vancouver Rep, who alsoare reinforced by eastern players. TheCanadian team branched . out into th eAmerican game last year and playedwith some success against Puge tSound, Washington Fresh and Wash -ington State Normal . Coach Burkewill have many of this Intercollegiatesquad back when he cane his firs tworkout ; besides Tip Robertson, a 17 0Ib, backfield prospect, Parker, forme rend on the University of Idaho eleven ,Hugh MvLelland, a last year's Roya lmilitary college man, and numerou sethers, There will be two teams, on eIn the senior city and one In th eDig Three combination and there wil lhe a place for every candidate tha tcomes out. Coach Burke will be a s .slsted In the coaching job by Dr..Boucher of last years McGill team an dCharley Defieua former quarterbac kon the Edmonton Eskimos ,

ARTS '29Class Meeting, Friday, 12 :15,

Room Arts 10 0

The UniversityBook Store

Open from 9:30 a . m. to I p . m ,

2p.m,to4:30 p, m ,

Saturdays, 9 :30 a . re . to 1l noon ,

Looee•Leaf Note Books,Exercise Books sad Scribbler s

At Reduced Priam)

Alto, Graphic and Eegineerleg Pape rBiology Paper, Loose-Leaf Refin e

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We kept secret nearly a year the factthat all Parker Pans and Pencils havePermanite barrels and cape until bya series of heroic trials we proved be-yond a doubt that they do not break.

Now Parker Duofold,already morepopular with students than an yother pen, will be seen in School an dCollege classrooms more than ever.

Shapely, balanced, lacquer-re dbarrel with smart black tips made o fNon-Breakable Permanite, and aPoint guaranteed 25 years for wea rand mechaniad perfection. That's acombination that can't be equalled a tany price.

Choose your point and color at an ygood pen counter . But look with carefor the name of the originator, "Geo.S. Parker," on the barrel . Carry thefinest and you'll never need apologize .

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THE STAMP OF LEARNIN G"Pa, what's a post-graduate? ""A fellow who graduates from one

of those correspondence schools, Isuppose . "

The proof of this paper is in th ewaste basket .

—Colgate Banter .

THRIFT VERSUS EDUCATIO N"Fighter, you told me you would

give me a dollar every time I got afirst class In collitch, Filthier, I mad etwo last week, "

First Fight Fan : Well, even i tDempsey was licked, he was a color•tul champ .

Second : Yes, black and blue .—Colgate Banter .

Take a Metric's . respect for a Pre -lim„ divide It by 43,798,661 and yo uwill get a Soph's opinion of a Fresh •man.

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