van forum understanding end of life options: getting to the heart of the matter lenox community...
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VAN Forum
Understanding End of Life Options:Getting to the Heart of the Matter
Lenox Community Center
October 12, 2010
“We all want to be remembered and
everyone leaves something behind”
Seniab
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 2004-2010
“What I hear, I forget
What I see, I remember
What I do, I understand”
Lao-tse
Goals – I hope you will be able to:
Describe what an ethical will is
Understand how ethical wills create a spiritual legacy
Commit to learning more
Discover resources to help you complete
your ethical will
Examples of Ethical Wills
What did you like?
What stayed with you?
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 9/2004
What Is An Ethical Will?A vehicle to define and pass on our:
– values– beliefs– faith– life’s lessons– dreams/hopes for the future– love– forgiveness
to family, friends, and community
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 2004-2010
History Of Ethical Wills
Biblical roots
Relation to wills of inheritance and living wills (advance care plans)
Current revival links the ethical will to turning points in people’s lives
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 2004-2010
Why Write An Ethical Will?
Is it a biological imperative?
Is it hard-wired into the human psyche?
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 2004-2010
Why Write An Ethical Will? Honor the past
– by remembering family/community history and connecting to our roots
Capture the present– by identifying what we value most
Inform the future– by creating a ‘legacy of the spirit’
“Honor the Past, Capture the Present, Inform the Future” is reprinted with permission from:
Anita Hecht, LCSW Director, Life History Services, LLC www.lifehistoryservices.com
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 9/2004
Why Write An Ethical Will? If you don’t tell your stories and the stories
of those from whom you come, no one else will and they will disappear
Lets you reflect and reframe life experiences, and enjoy your achievements
It’s good for your health!
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 9/2004
When Might You Write an Ethical Will?
Facing or experiencing a challenging event or life situation
Going through a transition or turning point
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 9/2004
When Might You Write an Ethical Will?
Upcoming surgery
Loss or illness
Birth of a grandchild
National or global disaster
© Barry K. Baines, M.D.2004-2010
When Might You Write An Ethical Will?
Betrothed Couples Expectant and new parents Growing Families Empty Nesters
© Barry K. Baines, M.D.2004-2010
When Might You Write An Ethical Will?
Middle age and beyond
– Harvesting life experience– Converting experience into wisdom– Fulfill the responsibility of passing this
wisdom on to future generations
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 2004-2010
When Might You Write An Ethical Will?
Approaching the end of life– Addresses our transcendent dimension - that we are
a part of something larger then ourselves or our lifetimes
– Transmits a message of hope for future generations
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 2004-2010
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 9/2004
How to Write an Ethical Will:Three Approaches
Beginning with an outline and a list of suggestions
Beginning with structured exercises
Beginning with a blank sheet of paper
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 9/2004
Remember: Writing an Ethical Will Results in: Opportunities for personal growth and
meaning A tangible connection from one generation
to another Potential enrichment of family relationships A cherished “gift of self”--the value of which
can’t be quantified
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 2004-2010
Next Steps
Decide on the best approach for you
Select appropriate resources
Develop a personal plan
Consider forming a ‘legacy circle’ and work with others
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 2004-2010
© Barry K. Baines, M.D. 9/2004
Q&A
Thank you for coming!
