urban tymes sept 2009 issue

News – Events – Businesses – People Things that matter to you!!!

Contents:

Inside Urban Community 6. Editorial 9. Inspirational Tymes : 10. Diamond of the Month Dana Sidberry 12. Fashion & Swagger 20. Spoken Word: Featuring A.Tillman, Karrin Torrence & “Something’s Gotta Give.” By Rob Morrow/Keysha Hall News & Entertainment 16. Entertainment: No Limit Larry: Man of the People 18. Spotlight on: Kount Down’s Michelle Shableek Bring Aysha to the QC!! 19. Love & Relationships: Ka’Sper: What Gives us the Right???

Sept 2009- Issue 1

7.Money Tymes When Your Mate Can’t Handle Money By MP Dunleavey The Good Life 15. Good Eats: Boardwalk Billy’s

Urban Tymes / 4 www.urbantymes.com

COFOUNDER AND CHIEF CREATIVE OFFICER CAREY W.DIGSBY [email protected] COFOUNDER AND VICE PRESIDENT OPERATIONS DARRELL L. PERRY [email protected] EDITOR MR. URBAN [email protected] ENTERTAINMENT & PROMOTIONS DIRECTOR JAMES VALENTINE [email protected]

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS PERVIS NASH, ANTHONY TILLMAN, MONTRE’ SUBER , KA’SPER

URBAN TYMES MAGAZINE Charlotte, North Carolina 28213

www.urbantymes.com


An Important Example Thursday, September 10, 2009 Last night's address by President Obama has been quite the topic of discussion. Not for just the outlining of a health plan that has been a point of attack since his inception into office, but for the comment that was made by Rep. Joe Wilson of SC. Never has there been such a blatant disregard of respect by a representative in office against the Commander in Chief. Many have voiced their views in blog, networks, and email, while some have reached out to media channels and expressed their feelings of this latest charade by Republicans. One must note though, that while this is an embarrassment by Joe Wilson, the greater embarrassment is on our government indeed. They must understand that the world is watching now more than ever. They started watching when the previous administration put the wheels in motion to go overseas and commit to a war that has cost us much more than the 900 trillion that has been speculated for the healthcare plan, as well as over 3700 individuals that have lost their lives in the conflict. The world is watching as this president has inherited a country that has been through the throes of a recession, watched as individuals scurried at one time to find fuel, and watch as jobs are being loss and people are literally bartering their services just to make ends meet in their households. At a time in which the government should be banding together to help the common man as our President states, we are forced to watch as a child that has lost a game wants to now call foul and make everyone else suffer due to their loss. This is an important example of how the political process is important for all, Democratic and Republican alike. Note that the speech given by President Obama was given to all representatives, so Mistah Joe Wilson's statement was not the result

of something said out of reflex, but something premeditated. Sad enough that South Carolina has to deal with a politician that cheats on his wife, uses government resources to o so, then will not leave office, now they got a guy that can't show the respect that all Presidents in the past have been given. Truly the spotlight is on that state indeed! People, who you vote for will represent you in the days to come. Note that just pulling the lever or filing out the ballot in a fancy design does not help. Knowing who it is, as well as the platform the stand on will not only help you decide, but will give to you an idea of what the people are to expect over their term in office. I just wish we would have come to this realization eight or so years ago.


When Your Mate Can’t Handle Money By MP Dunleavey / MSN Money Women often get tagged as spendthrifts, but men can be just as bad. Check out this recent post from the Women in Red community: How to talk about money with your spouse "(My husband) and I were paid last Friday, into our joint account. After paying our rent and his student loans, I went to visit my parents for the weekend. Upon my return, I discovered he has spent ALL of the remaining balance of our bank account on fast food, clothing, and going to movies." How do you cope with a spouse who can't handle money? Some of the Gals in Red advocate ruling with an iron wallet: "Your hubby is behaving like a little boy whose mommy will always come to his rescue and fix everything," wrote one irate woman, who prescribed the following punishment -- I mean solution: * Open your own account and have your paychecks go there. * Divorce your credit from his. Take him off your credit card and vice versa. (This won't help if you live in a community-property state: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, New Mexico, Nevada, Texas, Washington or Wisconsin.) * Sit down with your husband and agree about who pays what and when. Put it in writing, and make him sign and date it. It's so tempting to play dictator, especially when your spouse behaves irresponsibly (or takes refuge in a state of perpetual cluelessness). But, I've found, that isn't the road to a strong fiscal partnership. As one reader put it: "I don't think this is about money, I think it is about communication. . . . There are better ways to handle the situation than to treat your spouse like a criminal (or a) child."

I'm not saying it's easy. It has taken all seven years of my relationship to get 80% on the same financial page as my spouse. And we still stumble. Recent example: Although he's in charge of paying bills (a triumph for him and a relief for me), I'm the one who had set up our automatic transfers to our ING savings accounts. That means he balances our checking account according to bills paid, often forgetting to include withdrawals for savings. The other day we came within $1.94 of overdrawing our account. Again. Whose fault was that? We try to skip the blame game and go right to a solution. In this case, my husband needed a written record of the weekly savings withdrawals. Simple. Better communication solved the problem. So when I hear women say that they can't trust their partners or that "he makes so many mistakes with our money that I have to take over," I don't buy it. Taking control doesn't solve the underlying problem (unless you want a mate who is perpetually helpless). One issue might be confidence: Some men are just as anxious about money as many women are and dislike managing it. If your mate is fumbling the ball, he may lack basic money skills -- which can masquerade as a sort of macho indifference. ("Yeah, I spent the money for our bills on clothes. So?") Those skills can be learned. But from what I've seen, most couples never take the most basic steps of setting up a financial foundation for their relationship. Here's how to do it: * Agree on at least one goal, whether you want to get out of debt, save for a car, give the kids hockey lessons or visit the Outer Banks. Your priorities establish a base from which you make other money decisions. This is the most important first step. * Play to each other's strengths. My husband is great at handling day-to-day expenses. I'm good at monitoring the overall monthly/yearly budgets and planning for our retirement. * Talk daily about money. Each partner should know the baseline of what's going on: the balance in the household accounts, the cost of

upcoming expenses and how much can be spent on what each week or month. * Respect each other's "needs" and negotiate them. If you "need" to get your hair done and he "needs" a flat-screen TV, figure out what's possible financially and plan accordingly. Nobody gets everything they want, in life or in marriage, so be flexible. A month without spending I finally joined the Women in Red community's Controlled/No Spend thread for August. With about $6,000 in our emergency fund around the beginning of August, that left only five months to save an additional $9,000 to meet our 2009 goal of $15,000. That's $1,800 a month, for those of you who left your calculators at home. Where on earth is that going to come from? * We have been saving about $900 a month since March, when I joined the Women in Red Savers. * We can add $300 a month, thanks to my husband's new part-time teaching job. * I'm trying to land a project myself now that could provide the additional $600 a month -- keep your fingers crossed! And follow my progress on the Savers thread. For those of you interested in saving more, consider joining the monthly Controlled/No Spend discussions. All you have to do is show up, state your goals and try to reach them. * Some people aim to have five, 10 or 25 "no spend days" (NSDs), and a similar target for their "controlled spend days" (CSDs). * Some people define an NSD as zero spending. Some define it as just not spending frivolously (i.e., paying bills is OK, but shopping at yard sales is not). * A CSD might mean spending no more than, say, $5 or $10. The idea of an entire month of not spending can sound Draconian, one reader said, "but once I

came to understand that it . . . was more about finding a way that worked for you to track your spending and any 'leaks' in the wallet, it has felt more like a tool and less like a punishment." I'm also finding, just a couple of weeks in, that joining this group is helping me to take my own commitment more seriously to spend less -- and is a great complement to being in the WIR Savers group. When I was on vacation earlier this month, it was hard not to buy all the cute things I wanted. But thinking of August as a month of controlled spending helped me to avoid many frivolous items (I did buy a couple of items -- on sale, of course!). I love the Women in Red board. It's packed with information and inspiration. And there's always a zinger in the mix -- some off-road topic that strikes a nerve. This week's live wire, still going strong with 18 pages and 4,500 views, is the "baby car argument" thread. Basically, a young couple are on a deadline. Baby arrives in February, and they need a new car. Or do they? She has a sturdy little Corolla she loves (and it's low maintenance). He has a Ford Focus that she hates (it needs continual repairs). Both are compact, two-door cars. Now, with a baby making three - and in need of a car seat -- should they make do with their current cars or trade one in for a four-door vehicle? And should it be her car? I remember those new-baby days. My best advice: If you don't absolutely have to buy a car or a new home or even a new crib, don't. Children are expensive in ways you can't possibly anticipate, as data from the 2009 survey from the Department of Agriculture reveal: For a typical American family, the cost of raising a second child born last year to age 18 will be about $221,000. That doesn't include college, sorry. (For details, read "Raising your $221,000 baby.")Your best bet as a new parent is to have no debt, plenty of money in savings (for backup child care, for time off without pay, for multiple trips to the doctor, etc.) and a manageable plan for your own retirement. A car will soon be the least of your worries.

nspirational Tymes

Correct Change I went to Super Wal-mart the other day and purchased a few items. My items came out to be $38.17. I gave the cashier a $50 bill, got my change and walked out of the store. While walking to the car I dug in my pocket to get the keys. My receipt came out with they keys and you know how we do. I looked at the receipt and decided to count the change. To my surprise the cashier had give me too much money back. So I took the money back in the store and got my correct change. As I walked back out to the car, I heard a couple of guys talking, who must have heard me speaking with the cashier about the mistake made with the change that I was given. They were saying, that they would have kept the change and not cared about going back in the store. On the way home, a thought came to mind....God has given me correct change. When I was all messed up , indebted to sin, He paid the price for me and gave me change!! Change of mind. Change of heart. Change from hopelessness, to plenty to hope for!

In the Bible, in Romans 12:2 the word of God says, "be transformed or changed by renewing your mind." True change will only come when one changes the way he thinks. Our action are predicated on how we feel. But it is what we think on daily, or our beliefs that determines how we feel. Right believing will produce right living. For instance; If a person thinks that they are freed from some type of bondage, then they will act or walk and talk like they are free. But if one thinks that he is a slave to something, that person will walk around with a sense imprisonment, it will be demonstrated in everything that he does and says. The Bible says," Be renewed by the spirit of your mind." Therefore if we want correct change, We must change the way we think. Again because everything that we do is first a thought. All behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude. In every situation, whether good or bad, see it from God's word and allow His word to change the way you think. This will thus produce The Correct Change. God Bless you all who reads this, with true peace and lasting joy. I love you all ~ Pervis D. Nash ~

August Verse

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of

your heart

Psalms 37:4


.

Diamond of theMonth

Do you volunteer for any cause: Girl Talk Foundation, church youth

functions, and anything fashion related.

Tell us a little about yourself: I am a very determined and motivated

person. This "hustle" mentality has been instilled in me since before birth, and all my life I was taught to be independent! I

am just trying to make my mark in life and don't mind helping others while doing it. I am a people person, and I surround myself with people that are

honest and in some cases,brutally honest!!

What do you like to do when you have downtime? I like to sleep (b/c Inever get enough!!!) shop and arts &

crafts.

If I could meet someone famous who would it be? P. Diddy, Jay-Z,

Kanye West...because of their sense of business and sense of style. Females: Juanita Bynum, Lil' Kim and Trina...

simply because I'm a fan (I know they shouldn't be in the same sentence

but...they are all VERY raw, real and strong women, regardless of their

backgrounds)!

What words of advice could you give to someone? Never stop pursuing your goals, no matter what! God has a

plan for us but, it is up to us to figure the plan out and follow the right path.

Always have a plan B and sometimes C; that way when/if plan A fails, you wont

fall too hard with it!

To my ladies: I was always told by my late grandfather: "Always be a Lady and to make men respect you. When they are

around you, make 'em pull up they pants!" To this day, I live by those

words. My mother always told me (and still does) seek God and no matter what

stay with the Lord; you can never go wrong.

Any final thoughts or words? Be true to yourself, and always exceed people's

perceptions of you.

Dana Sidberry


College: Strayer University

Current Occupation: Motivation Marketing Company

What are your goals at this time:

Open my own salon within 6mos.

Where do you see yourself in 5yrs? 10 years?:

Owning 2 full service salons and my own Beauty & Fashion

Marketing and Advertising company. In 10 years: Successful and perfecting my businesses with some other

investments under my belt.

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What's In: Trendy Men's Fashion Tips Author: Simon Merkel Looking good means more than having a fit, cut body. It also means possessing a style that's all your own. Mens fashion can be everlasting using permanent and classic styles. Men's fashion and style interest men more today than ever as they realize that looking good is an asset in every aspect of their lives: business, personal, or social. Some men feel confident enough to do this for themselves; for those who are less confident an image consultant can be employed to give help and advice. If the look is perfect on the runway, that doesn't mean that it's perfect for you as a complete copy. While you should use designer's best trends to guide your look and give it some style, mix-and-match your basics. Use your favorites from seasons before for a more affordable style that's completely on-trend. Men's interview dressing has been fairly static over the years. Many men want fashion freedom, but what they want to wear is a big step from what they wear daily today. It is best to start slowly and build up to total fashion freedom. Don't be a slave to flashy branding. Your clothes can have more defined style without necessarily having a logo on them, and when your pieces are subtly stylish, you can wear them more often. This is essential for those of us who tend to hang onto our favorite pair of jeans. A good collection of basics will help you highlight major fashion

finds, and can give your trendy pieces more polished style. A fashion victim is someone who wants to follow all the latest men's fashion trends regardless of whether they suit his body shape, looks, or age. If you love fashion, that doesn't mean you need to layer on the accessories. Choose a simple pair of shades, a man bag and a great pair of shoes to round out your wardrobe. There's no need for a watch, bracelets and necklaces worn all together. Don't try and make so much of an effort to look fashionable that you end up overdoing it. Keep a good balance of basic and fashionable clothes in your wardrobe. As a rule of thumb, not more than half of your wardrobe should consist of trendy clothes, or worse, clothes that are out of style. Dress to impress for business or pleasure with men's fashion tips from Men's Fitness. Men Fashion Tips 1. Wear what you think looks good, not what others believe is trendy. 2. Don't try and make so much of an effort to look fashionable that you end up overdoing it. 3. Keep a good balance of basic and fashionable clothes in your wardrobe. 4. Don't base your look solely on what you see in magazines and on TV. 5. Using the right shampoo will help reduce hair loss and improve the look of any hairstyle. 6. Dress to impress for business or pleasure with men's fashion tips from Men's Fitness.


Top 5 Fashion Tips For Apple Figures For Fall 2008 Through Winter 2009 Author: Janice Tham If you have a thick waist and small hips, then you have an apple shaped body. Don't envy the pear shaped girls and hourglass figures. You too can look shapely and womanly if you dress to flatter your figure and Fall 2008 through Winter 2009 fashion has plenty of outfits made just for you. First of all, unlike a pear shaped girl or hourglass figure, an apple girl's waist isn't the narrowest part of her torso. That award goes to her ribcage. So treat the narrowest part of your ribcage as your waist, and suddenly, you've got curves too. By bringing the waistline of your dresses and tops to your rib cage, the effect seen in empire waist clothes, you get a shapely figure. So focus on empire waist dresses and blouses. They flatter you. Now for Fall and Winter 2008, dresses are hot and they skim the natural waist. Many of them have empire waists. The lace black dress with long sleeves is in. As is the

pretty flowy top with big sleeves. So girl, this is your season.

1. Start with a new dress. Prints or plain. Colored or neutral. It doesn't matter, other than the fact that it has a high waistline and is in a color or colors that flatter you. Animal print dresses are glamorous and sexy. I saw a stunning dress in a hot animal print, like a leopard print but with huge spots instead of tiny ones. It had an empire waist 2. Detract from you thick waist by drawing the eye to your arms and legs. You blouse should have full sleeves. The hems of the sleeves should be full and flowy. A longish blouse or top that has an empire waist, but flares below to a full hemline is another plus for you. Pick one such blouse, sheer, or lacy or made of a velvet or silk. Either way, if it is flowy and full in the right places, you'll look more feminine in it. 3. Get one of the black lace dresses that are so hot this season. The black widow look is big this season, thanks in part to Prada. Pick a black lace dress with full sleeves, with wide hemlines at the end of each sleeve. Get it in floaty lace, with an empire waist of course. A full hemline for the skirt wouldn't hurt either. Make that your de facto little black dress. 4. Load up on the accessories. Wear earrings to draw attention to your


pretty face. Wear bangles to bring the eye to your arms instead of your waist. Wear stunning shoes. A pretty pair of high heel shoes, or gorgeous boots that would draw attention to your legs. Carry a beautiful handbag by day and a jeweled clutch for the evening. Dress your hair with gorgeous accessories to draw attention to your luscious locks instead. 5. Get on of this season's pretty belts and use that to cinch your dresses and jackets at the narrowest part of your ribcage. Thick or thin, it doesn't

matter. Use the belt to turn any dress into an empire waist dress that makes you look feminine and shapely.


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9005 J M Keynes Dr Ste 2

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Urban Tymes’ monthly picks:

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Urban Tymes | 15 www.urbantymes.com

Good Eats

Man of the Community By Carey Digsby It's a brisk Thursday morning as I entered the WPEG studio. The man that's the focus of today's interview was busy behind the boards. The dialogue between he and fellow radio personality JD the Diva was effortless, this morning's topic of discussion for Situation Thursdays was geared around a man who was being "denied" at home. The sex life in his marriage was gone and he submitted this to No Limit and the infamous Morning MaddHouse for a solution. If you haven't heard No Limit on the radio, then you have been hidden somewhere, as he and his colleagues approached this topic head first. He vibes with callers and puts his

spin on it, then interviewing the cast of Black Diamonds and Pearls in the studio, this was his world, the world of No Limit Larry. But we want to know, who is No Limit Larry? "No Limit Larry is a guy who wakes up from 5:15 am to 10am every morning and entertain, but not only does he do that, he goes out to the schools and educates the kids to stay in school, and follow their dreams, " he says. "Definitely a community activist; he's a father, a husband, all those things!" This is a true statement indeed. As one goes throughout the city, the name of No Limit Larry is synonymous with the community. The QC's favorite son, JCSU grad still goes back during Alumni Conferences and mentors students, echoes sentiment for the North Charlotte neighborhoods, talks of events in Hidden Valley, and even one morning talked to residents of Monroe N.C. on the air as he and JD organized an ice cream event in that area. His most recent adventure was on the MTV hit show "Made" in which he helped a young man reinvent him self and muster up the courage within to approach not only his classmates, but a young lady he was interested in. So you've always knew you were going to be in radio? I asked. "No, no, I was originally going to major in business," he replies. "But I got into it, but I didn't like it. "So um, I went to communications, and I fell in love with it." His remembers how he always had that gift of making people laugh. "Not really a class clown, but more of an in the hallway clown," he echoes with a smile. Our discussion switches to his time in the business, and how his mentor Nate Quick was a major part of his growth. "Yes, the late great Nate Quick who just passed away played a big part I actually met while at McDonalds. He was very involved and always gave back to the community too, and he came to JCSU asking who would like to intern at WPEG, and I was interested in it,

Urban Interviews: Entertainment


cause I wanted to know what does he do what happens at a radio station? He called me about three months later; I was standing in my kitchen in North Charlotte cooking a baloney sandwich! He offered me the position and I interned for about a year and a half before I got a job, but I had a job in my field, in my junior year of college. If you had your chance to talk to someone who wanted to get to where you are, who was interested in this field, what would it be? "My words of advice," he says. "Whatever it is, you need to shadow that person, in whatever they do. I did that with Nate, no matter where he went store, meet and greet, I was there, because I wanted to know everything that he did to learn it and model myself after him... Truth is, most people will let you do that, because they want to teach people what they do!" each one, teach one. As JD and Church Boy come into the studio, one asks what makes that synergy, that click between them. He then talks passionately about their co existence, how he and Church-Boy of the MaddHouse worked together for a long time, and the building of the relationship between he, JD, and Tone X. "I think I had to learn how he thinks and operate, and No Limit has a real passion for the community and what he's about!" JD stated. "We are like a real family now, and we have each others back. We like each other on the air, as well as off the air." "There are behind the scenes thins, but that's how a family works, and everyone is in their own world" states Church Boy, "and we come together to make this happen, cause I don't think there's another radios show as powerful as we are!" "It's about what we do for the community, and the love for the community, JD states. I don't you can find another show like this, especially in this market. We talk about the things that happen right in the community, and we have fun too!" No Limit then tells of a trip recently and how he listened in on a show in another market, and how boring it was, and how he had to call JD about it. The energy is non stop in his voice, and he emphasizes how the

Morning MaddHouse is deserving of the accolades and not boring, but involved in the community always. "It feels good when a father comes to me and tells me how he liked what I said to his daughter or his son about something or visited their school," Limit replies. "That's what we do it for." It's not for the publicity or the radio station," he states. "But for the community." "I remember being that young man kid in North Charlotte that didn't know which way I was going to go, either the street life or in the corporate world." So to see another young man or woman come through that, that's what we are here for!"

No Limit @ Ford Fanfare broadcast for CIAA 2009


What's the best way for a guy to approach you? Say hello. Never call me shorty, or yell across the room or from a car. Be a gentleman and walk up to me and request some of my time. Show me that you made an effort to express your interest. Who are you? I'm a little spoiled in wanting my way, yet very giving. I speak my mind and am blunt, but I'd give you my last. Short description of personality Loyal, Spontaneous, Old Fashioned What do you like to do? I enjoy being cuddled up at home and going to church. I love to go horseback riding, fishing, shopping. I also enjoy working out and watching the Dallas Cowboys. What?s important to you? God, Family and Friends Short description of goals or things you want to do in life. I will open up my own daycare. I also want to own rental property and get my foundation going to help employ ex-cons. As far as modeling goes, I want to be internationally known! Describe a guys build preference I'll admit I'm picky when it comes to looks. I prefer a guy that is taller than me. but I have dated shorter guys. He has to be height and weight proportionate. I also love men with neat dreads. But if he is what God has for me, hair doesn't matter. What type of personality do you like in a guy I love a man who can make me laugh. A man with confidence but isn't conceited. A man who is honest, respectful and trustworthy. Turn-On's: My turn ons are a love of God, children, the elderly, community, health, a guy who is self-confident and very very attractive!! Don't get me wrong though, without personality looks mean nothing!! Turn-Offs: I'm turned off by bad breath, bad attitudes, a poor dresser and ignorance Kount Down Entertainment

Name: Michelle (Anonymous) About Me: Age: 33 Hometown: Princeton, NJ Occupation:Business Owner (Promoter, Event Planner, Marketing Agency), Model What attracts you most to a guy? His looks, the way he dresses, his confidence, motivation and goals and mostly his love for God. What is the one thing he better not do? He had better not cheat or lie!! After, I lose trust we might as well had never met.


Urban Spotlight: Michelle & Kount Down Entertainment


I have a four year old son that means the absolute world to me. He is the difference in waking up every morning happy and ready for the world or just staying in bed feeling like a lump some days, and I can't imagine my life without him. The other day I decided to do a "play date" with a friend of mine and his daughter as it had been a minute since we had all seen each other, and my son absolutely just loves it when there are other kids around to play with at the park. What kid doesn't right! On my way over to my friends house to meet up, he calls me and tells me that he won't be able to come out today, that his daughter wasn't coming after all and he really didn't feel like being around anyone. When I asked him what had happened, he simply replied "Oh just some more of my baby momma and her bullsh*t keeping me from my daughter". He was not at all impressed and there was no way I was getting him out of that house. This was not the first time this had happened, nor the first time I had heard about it happening to him, or other friends and acquaintances of mine. Seems that more and more, women around the world are deciding on their own when and if the father of the child is going to get to see that child or not. This decision has largely become based on two things: A. If he is still willing to be in the MOTHERS life and B. If he's paying child support or not. Last time I checked, it takes TWO to make a baby so I'm still not really sure at this point where we as the mother stepped into the picture and said "Oh, you know what, your not with me anymore and I saw you buying your new girl a pair of shoes at the mall so you can't see the baby this week until you come up with my money". Hold on, your money???? And this right here is where the vicious cycle once again starts all over. Alright, I already know what you’re thinking. You’re probably sitting there like, "well obviously she's never gone through it before. I bet her and her sons father are still together

and have a great relationship". WRONG! I myself have found myself to be the single mother on the other side of that fence. The one that WISHED her sons father would come and spend time with him, come and take him for a weekend and take him off my hands. But unfortunately it doesn't always turn out that way. See for me, I was always concerned with the lack of the relationship between my son and his father. It hurt me that he would never ever in a billion years deny that this is his son, but yet, he put so many other things in front of his own blood that today at 4 years old, being generous, I would say he's known his son for about a year altogether. The bottom line is, when your a single mother NO MATTER WHAT we are strong survivors! We will go through hell and high water to provide for our children and that's the way that it has been and will continue to be for years to come. So what does it matter really if your ex is not helping provide for the child financially. Will life still go on? YES! And I agree 1000% that this is not right, that financial and emotional responsibility should be on both parents, but really, if the father wants to see his child and spend time with them and help with the upbringing of that child, do we as mothers really have the right to take that away from them because they aren't handing over the money every week? Raising our children in a positive environment where they can spend time with both parents will ultimately benefit the child in the long run, and trust me when I say that kids these days are SMART!! Smarter then we were back then at their age. They will see what's going on! They will learn for themselves who was there and who wasn't, who bought this and bought that! We don't need to tell them or break it down for them, and we don't need to fill their head with negativity about their own father; it will be seen by the child on their own time, in their own right. I think that we as women really need to take a step back and look at our individual situations. This may not apply to us all. Maybe you have made the decision to keep your child away from the father because he is unfit to be in the

child's life, or maybe you have a court order. There are valid reasons to following through with this type of action. But at the end of the day, we really need to sit down and evaluate what is best for the child. Do we have a valid reason, or are we just doing it out of spite?

Ka’Sper a writer from S. Florida is known for her incredible and thought provoking articles. Stay tuned each month as she brings it straight for our ladies to understand!!!

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Shan 'Shableek ' Richardson is a Professional Saxophonist born and raised in Charlotte, NC. He has been playing for 25 years and his musical background stems from a gospel foundation which began in the Pentecostal Church. Shan has a very unique style which consists of many genres of music. his soulful and melodic sound personifies the many experiences and obstacles he has faced. His music has been his escape from the many scars of life. He was raised during the 70's culture of R&B. this along with his traditional and contemporary jazz studies, creates the style of the man also known as 'Bleek', which was derived from the movie, 'Mo Better Blues'. Music is his breath of life. He has been hailed as a lead singer on his instrument as audiences are mesmerized by his ability to emulate the nuances of a human voice through the alto, tenor and soprano saxophones. all three instruments are played with passion & soul. His live performances radiate energy and his love for music is felt on every song!! he is normally accompanied by his band 'Uncommon Jazz' whom he has played with for over five years. It's standing room only at his live shows. Shableek frequently plays for Bob Johnson events and has opened for major artists such as Floetry, Lyfe Jennings, Mint Condition, Sunshine Anderson and many others. Shableek's mission is to touch as many lives as possible with his music and to utilize the gifts god has given him to share with as many people as possible!!

Visit his website @ http://www.shableek.com/

Shableek

Bring Aysha to Charlotte!!! Hit her up @:

[email protected] www.theofficialayshawebsite.com www.myspace.com/ayshamusic

Steve McCann Management and Promotions

[email protected] 503-935-1197

Spoken Word Uncondition TRUE-UN-CONDITIONAL- LOVE Does it exist? It exist From the depths of a thought, Migrated from the back of hearts, Thru the truths of walks.... It exists... You can drop the true Stand in the mirror And only see you it should reflect how you do u As one before you do two In every aspect It must be conditioned back or neglect will set protect my heart.. I protect Or you'll begin to loose that respect Unconditional I give but conditional I get So under no condition Without hesitation I will never stop the love like God above I will mirror that love Unconditionally For the Love Of Love..... Anthony Tillman


Lost Love By Montre’ Suber sick to my stomach, finding out that my woman has another lover, All i can do now is sit back an think about our past time shared, Feeling nothing but lone in the air, Everything i see reminds me of her any little scent i get flashes a thought of her long hair, Beautiful smile and a shape like a coke bottle, all i ask is for her to remember our lost daughter, Miscarriage after miscarriage, Happy times after happy times sad times and even more sadder times, With all this said i lost the woman of my life and all i want is our daughter that we lost to keep me company she is the only way me and my lost love can still communicate. I PROMISE I WILL SEE YOU ONE DAY OK DADDY LOVES YOU!!! ME AND MOMMY ARE NOT TOGETHER NO MORE BUT I PROMISE ILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU DADDY'S LITTLE ANGEL!! 07/16/2008 THE DATE ME AND KELLY LOST OUR CHILD AND 08/30/2009 IS THE DATE I LOST HER MOM!!

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE

I rarely complain when times are rough, but all the love and support I have for you, sometimes I feel it's not enough. At least that's what it seems. Each passing day, we increasingly disagree to our pathways. Another argument and now I fear we're embarking in love's decay...set in our stubborn ways...but I don't want this fragile connection to break away. I don't want this journey we took to go astray, but woman, something's gotta give for better or for worse. As we both shall live hopefully still together and not apart, and with GOD as a witness you'll always have my heart, but we must accept the term we're still evolving and there are still lessons to be learned.....that sometimes, love is a struggle..... My love for you still burns strong, and I'm woman enough to admit I've been wrong for making you feel you and your good deeds were not appreciated cuz on life's pressures I was too fixated. For you, I would swim the deepest sea... BABY WITHOUT YOU, THERE IS NO ME!!! We fit together like Michael and his glove, and nothing makes me happier than being the recipient of your love. We've been through some rough times together, but whether good or bad times may call, I'm in this for the long haul continuing to give you my all. You're a good man and I'm not trying to cause you stress. Lord knows I hope we can endure this period of unrest...and pass the test so the devil will leave us alone, and we can go back to our loving and happy home. We fuss and fight day and night, knowing we should be holding each other tight. Each day I pray

our struggles don't drive you to the arms of another... anxiously waiting to play house with someone else's lover. No need to worry since you can keep folks in check, by letting them know what will happen if they try to step... out of line I will surely be pressed, and remix that azz whuppin Beyonce put on ole girl in Obsessed! Luckily things will never get that far, since you show me respect regardless of who you're with, or where you are. You stole my heart like a thief in the night. If loving you is wrong; I pray God never makes me right. I'm yours... ....I feel strength of your words like a lion's roar, so many obstacles we have to endure. Only a paycheck away from becoming officially poor, but never underscore richness of insatiable love with GOD as our witness and we've been through various storms before. Making ends meet working 9 to 5 for so little dimes and I got mouths to feed and moments I wanna cry...which I have, but behind closed doors 'cause I didn't want you believing I was less of a man for the tears I shed. Economic hardship threatening our soulful bliss has become my dread. But yet you stay, next to my bedside, together we pray.....for better tomorrows making passionate love to ease our sorrows. Holding you tight throughout the night...knowing GOD will show us outta this plight....Baby you are my muse, certainly thankful you're the one I choose. As long as I live, I will always love you..... You have been easy to love from the onset, when synergy in conversations beget the time we first met. You had me at hello when my mind was blown as u stared into the windows of my soul with a sensitivity rarely shown. Who could have guessed what began as friendship, would develop into the

Anthony Tillmcan be seen on

be on the loobrother in your


greatest love I've ever known. Despite numerous financial stresses, God constantly blesses us with countless riches untold. As we pray together, His will for our family is revealed and continues to unfold. I could never leave you cuz I took vows to cleave to u and be there for richer and for poorer. Don't ever think you're getting rid of me, for your strength during the tough times makes me love you even more...Our passion has soared to new heights on those cold, sleepless nights as we try to make ends meet while making tender love, so sweet. When you're asleep, I cry wondering if our love will die and we'll give up the fight and onlooking haters will delight. But nothing scares me more, than u feeling being with me is a chore that u abhor, and working harder for less pay just adds more fuel to the fire that quenches love's desire to endure... ...but endure, we will. Elevating our bliss, sealed with a kiss, from low valleys to the highest hills. As we soldier on engaging circumstances going beyond our control, but GOD works in beautiful ways Bible foretold. Don't ever consider yourself a burden or a chore, because when all said and done, who has my back for always and forever more? I think you know. The blessed union we established by the Lord's glory is wonderfully bestowed. Yes, the struggle has me discouraged, but with you by my side baby, I'll always feel encouraged. As we get back on our feet, and the vices of our economic crises we began to defeat...and it's clear to see how much you mean to me in the face of adversity. Truly you are the shine in my armor, nurturing our bond is my greatest honor. Sometimes I feel

unworthy, but your essence embraces my presence, and we're beyond worldly......Yes, the devil loses again!!! Something had to give and it's our ability to breathe again. Through thick and thin for you I'm all in, as our faith grows and allows us to win... so we don't become a statistic, loving sentiments resulting in sadistic, disrespectful speech that tears us down and makes us weak. Together is where we belong, 'cause unity will keep us strong as we endeavor to weather life's storms, not allowing battles to erupt over who is right or wrong. We're both stressed and sometimes I feel depressed wishing u were around more for emotional needs unfulfilled...but I'm thrilled you're doing your best for us, and despite the long hours you work, I'm NEVER SHORT ON TRUST. I believe what u say, and love the way we enjoy each other during our intimate times at play. Baby I need you because you bring balance and you're my complement! I'm thankful God raised up someone for me who is truly heaven sent. I'm proud of all the sacrifices you make, and appreciate the grace you extend when I take too many liberties often resulting in arguments of frivolity. I'm so glad u stay, proving you're the right one for me, the Neo to my Trinity. Love is a struggle and at times a battlefield, but with God on our side and prayer as our shield, we're destined for an eternity of loving each other faithfully. © 2009 Rob Morrow & Keysha J Hall All Rights Reserved

Simply Falling – Karrin Torrence Wondering, thinking, pondering, thoughts crossing through my mind in an array of clutter and a singular thought has my attention and a voice sings desperately to me "Real love!, I'm searching for a real love." As the beat quietly drones in my ear my heart skips to the pulse of the rhythm. He catches my eye with the way it flows through him as he hums amiably in my ear "Sweet thang, don't you know you're my everything." I become enthralled as the melody caresses my ear. I fall into the cadence of the many words that fill the spaces of time, as we share many thoughts.......my mind blurs......My days become filled with moments of sweet words that he utters.....is it understanding.......I wonder does he know ......I wonder as the melody begins to pull me in "Monday a friend of mine, Tuesday we played a game, Wednesday he went away," my body begins to sway as the harmonies engulf my soul and hypnotic tones swarm to surround me. I feel his warmth as I day dream a dream of loving arms protection, security, feeling him move through me with every breath, every heartbeat every thought, I feel him closer melodious rhythms singing, "Share my world, don't you fear promise I'll be here whenever you need me near"................ Still hesitant, reluctant of falling again, falling again, falling...........simply falling.

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