Unit 9: Revisiting, Editing, and Revising (Dec 8 - Dec 14)

Unit 9 Seminar

What will you learn in this unit?The differences among and between

editing, proofing, and revising How to apply course knowledge of

effective communication to the law and order professions

Demonstrate the ability to compose a persuasive piece of writing

What do you have to do to complete this unit?Read Chapter 3a-b & 16a-e in Rules

For Writers Attend the weekly Seminar Respond to the Discussion Board Complete and Submit the Unit 9 Final

Project Visit Take A Break

Video: Simple Revision Techniques Video: How to Revise Successfully

Read Chapter 3 & 16 in Rules For WritersChapter 3a-b: Make Global Revisions; then revise

sentencesFor most experienced writers, revising is rarely a one-step

process. Global matters—focus, purpose, organization, content, and overall strategy—generally receive attention first. Improvements in sentence structure, word choice, grammar, punctuation, and mechanics come later.

Chapter 16a-e: Tighten Wordy SentencesLong sentences are not necessarily wordy, nor are

short sentences always concise. A sentence is wordy if it can be tightened without loss of meaning.

Discussion: Narrow Your Topic You have spent the past 8 units learning about the

writing process. What were some of the challenges you

encountered? How did you overcome the challenges you encountered.

In what area did you experience the most growth? What are your strengths in the writing process? What words of encouragement or advice would you

give a student coming into this class in the next term?

The Final Draft The final draft will be at least five pages long. The final draft will have a significant revision and development

compared to the rough draft. Please be sure to include an introduction and conclusion.

Make certain that your introduction includes your thesis statement. Include a separate title page and references page.  The title page and references page are in addition to, not included

in, the five required pages.   Use at least four outside sources.  These sources must be cited (to avoid plagiarism) according to

APA citation guidelines.  This includes using quotation marks where appropriate, providing

in-text citations, and providing a complete reference page.  Submit your Course Project by the end of Unit 9

Take A Break!Watch the Video Jug clip on simple revision

techniques.Watch this Video Jug clip on how to revise

successfully.

Introduction1) You can give background information and then

move directly to your thesis statement. This approach works well when you know the audience is already interested in your topic and you can come directly to your point.

2) You can introduce an essay with a definition of a relevant term or concept.

3) You can begin your paper with an anecdote or story that leads readers to your thesis.

Introduction4) You can begin with a question.5) You can begin with a quotation. If it arouses interest, it can

encourage your audience to read further.6) It can begin with a surprising statement. An unexpected

statement catches readers' attention and makes them want to read more.

7) You can begin with a contradiction. You can open your essay with an idea that most people believe is true and then get readers' attention by showing that it is inaccurate or ill advised.

8) You can begin with a fact or statistic, etc.No matter which strategy you select, your introduction should be consistent in tone with the rest of your paper.

Body Paragraphs

Please follow the structure for your paragraphs:

(1) a topic sentence, (2) evidence to support your topic sentence, (3) opposing viewpoints, (4) your refutation, (5) concluding sentence.

Some Conclusion Tips(1) Suggest a change(2) Predict what will happen next(3) Solve a problem(4) Use a quotation(5)Draw a conclusion.Since people usually remember whatever they

read, hear, or see last, think of your conclusion as your last chance to emphasize your main idea

How to format a title page? Click on ‘Insert’ Click on ‘Header’ At the bottom of Header, click on ‘Edit Header’. At the top, you will see ‘Design’; check mark

‘Different First Page’. To create a page header, insert page numbers

flush right. Then type Running head: TITLE OF PAPER in

the header flush left On the second page type TITLE OF PAPER

What is new in APA style?The American Psychological Association (APA) has

published the sixth edition of the Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association (2010), which contains updated guidelines for documenting sources and formatting papers in the social sciences.

What follows is an overview of the major changes in APA style in the 6th edition of the Publication Manual (2010).

Multiple authors In reference list entries for sources with up to

seven authors, use all authors’ names. For sources with eight or more authors, use the first six names followed by an ellipsis mark (three periods) and the last author’s name.

Two to seven authorsDiessner, R., Solom, R. C., Frost, N. K., Parsons, L.,

& Davidson, J. (2008). Engagement with beauty: Appreciating natural, artistic, and moral beauty. The Journal of Psychology, 142, 303-329.

Eight or more authorsMulvaney, S. A., Mudasiru, E., Schlundt, D. G.,

Baughman, C. L., Fleming, M., VanderWoude, A., . . . Rothman, R. (2008). Self-management in Type 2 diabetes: The adolescent perspective. The Diabetes Educator, 34, 118-127.

Issue numbers for journalsUse the issue number with the volume

number only for journals that begin each issue with page 1; use the volume number alone for journals that number pages consecutively through the entire volume.

Issue numbers for journalsJournal paginated by volumeBronk, K. C. (2008). Early adolescents’ conceptions of the

good life and the good person. Adolescence, 43, 713-732.

Journal paginated by issueWhitman, D. (2008). An appeal to authority: The new

paternalism in urban schools. Education Next, 8(4), 53-58.

Online sourcesOnline articles and books sometimes include a

DOI (digital object identifier). APA uses the DOI, when available, in place of a URL in reference list entries.

Use a retrieval date for an online source only if the content is likely to change.

State abbreviationsUse the state for all US cities, including well-

known cities: New York, NY; Chicago, IL; Los Angeles, CA; and so on.

Use the country for non-US cities (and add the province for Canadian cities): Milan, Italy; Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

The Checklist: Content, Organization, and Editing

Is your thesis statement apparent? Does it appear in your introduction?

Is the body of your paper persuasive? Are the transitions between paragraphs strong and do

they propel the reader forward? Does your conclusion tie all your ideas together and

leave the reader with something memorable? Did you edit carefully for errors in grammar, spelling,

punctuation, and sentence structure?

Overview of Grammar and Mechanics: Common Errors Spelling Agreement (subject/verb and pronoun/antecedent) Apostrophes Commas Sentence structure (fragments, comma splices, run-ons)

Agreement The indefinite pronouns anyone, everyone, someone, no one,

nobody are always singular and, therefore, require singular verbs. Everyone and everybody certainly feel like more than one person and, therefore, writers are sometimes tempted to use a plural verb with them. They are always singular, though. Each is often followed by a prepositional phrase ending in a plural word (Each of the cars), thus confusing the verb choice. Each, too, is always singular and requires a singular verb. Example: Everyone has done his or her homework.

Some indefinite pronouns — such as all, some — are singular or plural depending on what they're referring to. Is the thing referred to countable or not? Examples: Some of the beads are missing. Some of the water is gone.

Agreement Phrases such as together with, as well as, and along with

are not the same as and. The phrase introduced by as well as or along with will modify the earlier word (mayor in this case), but it does not compound the subjects (as the word and would do). Examples: The mayor as well as his brothers is going to prison. The mayor and his brothers are going to jail.

The pronouns neither and either are singular and require singular verbs even though they seem to be referring, in a sense, to two things. Examples: Neither of the two traffic lights is working. Which shirt do you want for Christmas? Either is fine with me.

Agreement The conjunction or does not conjoin (as and does): when

nor or or is used the subject closer to the verb determines the number of the verb. Whether the subject comes before or after the verb doesn't matter; the proximity determines the number. Examples: Either my father or my brothers are going to sell the house. Neither my brothers nor my father is going to sell the house. Are either my brothers or my father responsible? Is either my father or my brothers responsible?

The words there and here are never subjects. Examples: There are two reasons [plural subject] for this. There is no reason for this. Here are two apples.

Apostrophes Use apostrophes with nouns to indicate possession: everyone’s

dream, Jane’s jacket Do NOT use with possessive pronouns (its, his, hers, yours,

theirs, ours) With multiple nouns, use apostrophes depending upon meaning:

Bill and Jane’s wedding (one wedding), Julie’s and Kathy’s weddings (two separate weddings)

Use apostrophes for contractions to show omitted letters: will not = won’t, I am = I’m

Use apostrophes to mark certain plural forms (letters, symbols, and words referred to as words): Sassafrass has 4 s’s.

APA recommends omitting the apostrophe for plurals of numbers and acronyms: PCs, 1990s

When to Use Commas Use before coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor,

etc.) that link independent clauses. Everyone in our class was assigned to an editing group, but only three of the groups could work together efficiently.

Use after introductory words, phrases, and clauses. While waiting to put my tax return in the box, I began to lose my temper.

Use to separate items in a series. She bought pens, pencils, and paper at the supply store.

Use to set off parenthetical and nonrestrictive elements. Susie, who is a nurse, wanted to go to the beach for vacation.

When not to use commas Do not use between subjects and verbs or verbs and

objects. Incorrect: Numerous psychological and social factors, have a strong influence on how people age.

Do not use after coordinating conjunctions or before coordinating conjunctions unless they join two independent clauses. Incorrect: She enjoyed gardening, and exercising.

Do not use to set off restrictive (necessary) phrases and clauses. Incorrect: People, who are good shoppers, spend many hours planning their purchases.

Do not use before the first or after the last items in a series. Incorrect: She enjoyed, gardening, exercising, and traveling

Sentence Structure Error Fragment (occurs when a clause is missing the subject or

verb/predicate). To correct: add the missing component or connect to another sentence.

Having thought about our situation. I have decided I should take a second job.

Comma splice (occurs when two independent clauses are joined with just a comma)

Some magazines survive without advertising, they are supported by readers who pay for subscriptions.

Run-on (occurs when two independent clauses are not separated properly)

We always ate dinner at eight o’clock we spent the whole day anticipating the time we could talk and eat together as a family.

How to correct these errors Turn one independent clause into a subordinate

clause. Separate the two clauses with a comma and

coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so).

Separate the two clauses with a semi-colon. Turn into two sentences. Join fragments with other sentences.

Corrected sentenceHaving thought about our situation, I have

decided I should take a second job.We always ate dinner at eight o’clock, and we

spent the whole day anticipating the time we could talk and eat together as a family. OR

Since we always ate dinner at eight o’clock, we spent the whole day anticipating the time we could talk and eat together as a family.

Some magazines survive without advertising since they are supported by readers who pay for subscriptions.

Best wishes for a great Final Project!

Success!