Understanding an Offender Oriented Culture

Growing up in an offender oriented culture(31 slides)

Creatively compiled by dr. michael farnworth

The nature of an offender oriented culture means that the culture will have an orientation to protect the rights of the one with the most power, prestige and position within the

culture.

This power advantage can be manifested by age, rank, gender, intelligence, education, beauty, strength, fame,

fortune or other reason.

While the offender will be protected the victim (weak one) is often left to fend for themselves in picking up the pieces.

Historically this phenomenon has been played our in our culture via crime and protecting the rights of the criminal (predator).

Whistle blowing that results in the person blowing the whistle on the corruption being fired.

Politics where the candidate with the most money to mud sling ends up winning the race.

Child abuse where no one believes the child and they are left to fend for

themselves.

Domestic violence that has been tolerated and ignored for centuries.

And sexual violence against women where with we blame the woman for bringing it on her self.

Lest we think this is just a young woman’s problem let me tell you about a cousin who was in her late forties when she was

victimized by date rape.

She was recently divorced and was starting the dating scene again and on her first date with this guy he ended up forcing

herself on her.

She was devastated and came to talk to me about three weeks after the incident. She was so full of shame and self anger because she believed that she should have known better.

And since she believed it was her fault she felt as if she some how deserved it.

How would it feel to grow up in a culture that blamed one gender for the bad behavior of the other gender?

What sense does it make to punish and shame females when males don’t control themselves sexually in relation to the

female?

Two objectives:

• 1. Recognize the consequences of acquaintance and date rape as violent, humiliating and traumatic crime.

• 2.Recognize how we may unknowingly contribute to society’s exploitation of the weak, which demean and exploit the plight of the victim (whether female, child or other) .

Rape is not about lust… it is about power.

It is a crime of passion… but not sexual passion.

It is a crime of passion that involves anger, revenge, and the overwhelming desire to hurt, wound and destroy.

Men who rape: the psychology of the offender

• 1. Power and control rapists: women who are used by men to enhance their egos.

• 2. Anger and rage rapists: women who become objects of the projected rage of a man.

• 3. Sadistic rapists: women who become objects of abuse or torture to help create the sexual high for the male.

Campus project on sexual assault

• Sample size: 7,000 students on 35 colleges

• Female victims of rape or attempt: 25%

• Females who knew their offender: 90%

• Females who did not contact police: 90%

• Men who admitted to rape or attempt: 1 out of 12

Two out of three Universities declined (lame as the excuses are)

• 70 of the 105 institutions of higher learning declined for the following 5 reasons:

• 1. Didn’t want to get involved

• 2. Too volatile of a topic

• 3. No problem in this area

• 4. Limited foreseeable benefit

• 5. Couldn’t allow the surveys in the classrooms

Whose responsibility is rape?

• Offender oriented societies always blames the victim.

• We often find ourselves thinking that the woman is at fault “I wonder what she did to make him do that.”

• We don’t want to seem to blame the man.

What to do if you are sexually assaulted...

• 1. Contact one of the following: rape crisis center, hospital, police

• 2. Obtain a medical examination

• 3. Receive therapy for the trauma

• 4. Prosecute the offender if you can

What a friend can do...

• Assist the victim with steps 1-4 previously referred to.

• Don’t ask a lot of questions and do not blame.

• Be supportive, comforting and protective.

The self-blaming mechanism: Why women often blame themselves

• Personal: the personal fable of the female is at risk. (Better thinking she had some control than none at all. Maybe it was

something she did after all.)

• Societal: the sexual double standard and the inclination to blame the woman for not taking care of her responsibility to say no etc, etc, etc.

Rape and post traumatic stress: 3 things that happen

• 1. One’s personal fable is destroyed: I can’t believe it really happened to me.

• 2. Life's meaning and explain ability crumbles: Why me?

• 3. A positive view of life is replaced with fear, suspicion and self blame that evolves into contempt.

Rape trauma syndrome

• Many rape victims suffer from rape trauma syndrome. • Symptoms include loss of appetite, sleep disturbance,

nightmares, extreme phobias, preoccupation with rape, anxiety about being out with others, inability to concentrate on studies and or work.

• Sexual dysfunction is a common result. • Without therapy, the symptoms could last for years.

Post traumatic stress

• Trauma that is an event or experience of violence and disruption that overwhelms:

• 1. Abnormal and violent.

• 2. Re-experiencing the trauma via dreams, flashbacks, etc.

• 3. Emotional numbing and avoidance behaviors.

• 4. Aroused symptoms of anxiety and paranoia (it happened once and it can happen again)

Trauma impact

• Memory loss

• Sleep disorders

• Relationship withdrawal

• Emotional swings

• Sexual disorders

• Magical thinking

• Victim stance...feeling helpless

• Life doesn’t make sense any more

Characteristics of male offenders

• Acts immaturely and shows off.

• Acts macho and above it all.

• Short temper and aggressive displays.

• Subscribes excessively to traditional male- female roles.

• Demands your attention.

• Displays jealousy and ownership.

• Violates your space.

• Is psychologically intrusive.

“Trust your gut feelings”

• How can you trust your gut feelings when you are trying so hard to be nice?

• What does protecting yourself have to do with giving away your voice?

What would it be like?

• How would we live in an environment that could potentially become hostile, dangerous and violent.

• What would it be like to live with the threat and anxiety of assault because we were vulnerable.

• Women experience this as a potential daily reality.

• Men don’t.

Things you can do to keep yourself safe.

Please read these four pages of rape prevention tips, and try not to forget any of them!

(an impossible task)

Changes we need...

• A restructuring of our distorted value system that abuses the weak, whether women, children, poor, sick, different, etc.

• Listen to and believe the feelings and events shared by victims and accept our own denial system and the role it plays in protecting us.

Another notion…

• It has been expressed, in the past that the female has to accept some responsibility in how she dresses and it may very well be her fault, if she dresses seductively.

• This issue is a legitimate one and on the surface it has meaning.

• But on another level, why is she dressing that way in the first place, if not to attract the very male she has to attract to be of value in this culture. Where did she learn that she needed to be attractive to be of value. If she goes to far or if she attracts the wrong kind of guy then once again we can blame it on her.

• This is wrong. When we take a female and reduce her down to a sexual object (which includes her dress) that is to be attractive and seductive to the male gender (but not too much) or she is to blame again!

• Isn’t this another type of objectifying pornography where the female is reduced down to what she wears and then is judged by the standard of going too far, as far as some men are concerned.

• The under lying philosophical system of thought and value are to blame not the female!

Here is another idea to contemplate:

The non-sexual (un-attractive) woman seems to be invisible in this male dominated, appearance oriented culture.

(So, can we really blame the female for wanting to be noticed. Yes, I guess we can since that’s what this lesson is all about blaming the female.)

One more thing that you need to know about: a short story

(notice how similar the story is to all the women victimized by Bill Cosby)

“When she woke up, Julie Simmons* couldn’t figure out how she’d made it back to her house in Los Angeles.

She looked down. She was naked, but she didn’t recall getting undressed.

All she remembered was having dinner in her date’s apartment and then falling asleep on his couch. When she called him, he told her that she’d had too much to drink the night before and he had driven her home. That struck her as odd she knew she’d only had a couple of beers but she believed him.

What choice did she have?

Two weeks later, Julie slipped in the shower and hit her hands on the floor. The cold slap of the tile jarred loose a memory too horrible for her to

comprehend: she was on her hands and knees on the bathroom floor as her date stood behind her. Then came a searing pain. The memory was vivid and

undeniable. Julie had been raped and, until that moment she hadn’t even remembered it.”

The date rape drug

• Gamma hydroxybutyrate also known as ghb, grievous bodily harm, and easy lay.

• It is clear, nearly tasteless (slightly salty) and passes from the body in 12 hours.

• It can be produced at home

Date rape drug continued

• “Ghb” can make you completely helpless and vulnerable to a sexual assault.

• It causes an extreme buss, unconsciousness, sexual arousal and in overdoses coma and death.

• Although this drug is dangerous the still leading date rape drug of choice is still alcohol.

Maybe it is time to consider changing the culture and stop blaming the less powerful when it comes to the male-female

interactions.

the end