ON THE COVER

30_MEET MRS GOUWS… the woman behind our principal.

38_MRS. ROSSOUW. In perfect Engligh…

42_DIE STEENKAMPS. Regte onderwysers.

46_MR SAYER. An intriguing history.

50_MRS VAN STADEN. Unexpected tomboy.

54_MRS STRAUSS and her alter ego.

58_MS WICKENS: PV‟s beloved rock.

FEATURES

14_ABOUT UBUNTU. Success and a learning curve.

FASHION

16_WHAT YOU WANT in terms of clothes. Look no further.

18_GET IN LINE. Unique pieces to highlight your pre-spring wardrobe.

ENTERTAINMENT

09_THE ULTIMATE REVIEW. Things to do, and people to watch out for.

REGULARS

05_MASTHEAD. Who did what…

06_LETTER FROM THE EDITOR. Praise song.

07_DEPUTY‟S LETTER.

ON THE COVER

Mrs Gouws photographed by Kim Swarts. Makeup

by Sarah Howard-Browne. Read the full story on

page 30.

DANIËL GELDENHUYS

Editor In Chief

Creative Director

Fashion Director

CHANTÉ CHARLES

Deputy Editor

Features Director

features editors

LANA DE BEER

NATASHA BICKNELL

entertainment editor

ZANDILE NDAYI

ALFREDA SIMAKANI

photographers

CORNEL STEYN

KIM SWARTS

head proofreader

M G STEENKAMP

Parel Vallei High School 95 Parel Vallei road,

Somerset – West

7130

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

POWERING FORWARD

This issue, like all our others, is a celebratory

one. It seems that Parel Vallei is almost

always celebrating something – that‟s why it

was such a shock to be plunged into a state

of mourning at the end of the second term

when we lost the infectious bundle of joy that

was Courtney Moore.

I don‟t want to leave any unnecessary

comment on the subject, but I will say that I

feel honoured to have had the chance to

work with her this year on the learner council.

I‟m glad she was the kind of person that,

after her passing, it was not difficult to think of

nice things to say about her. We will not only

remember the good times, we will remember

everything about her, because it was all

good.

While acceptance of her passing will

come in a different form to everyone, I think it

is important for everyone to find a way to

keep her alive in their hearts. I have decided

to dedicate all my creative ventures for the

rest of this year to Courtney. That way,

whenever I do something I love, I‟ll think of

her and smile.

This message of this issue, honouring

our educators, is one that lies extremely close

to my heart. The teachers featured in this

issue and the ones who aren‟t, are the

people who shape communities by

influencing and raising upright citizens like

you, me and Courtney. The work they do on

a daily basis must never be underestimated

or taken for granted.

So remember to appreciate all the

great things in life. Take all the joy and sorrow

of the past and put it into creating a bolder,

brighter future. If you think the sky is the limit,

you‟re not dreaming big enough.

xoxoD^^

DEPUTY‟S LETTER

A NEW

ADVENTURE By the time you read this, I and the rest of the matriculants will be

about to dive head first into our exams. The rest of you are

fortunate enough to not have to partake in it. I must admit

something though: I am really looking forward to it. Now you may sit

at your computer and wonder exactly how I lost such a vast

amount of brain cells to come to this conclusion…

The beginning of these exams also signifies the end of a

seemingly endless time in my life. I will confess, I was afraid at the

start of this year. I realized that none of us would ever have it quite

this easy again. There will be no teacher to run to for extra lessons

and no safety in knowing that your group of friends will be waiting

for you. When you start to think about it like that, much of the

excitement of a new beginning is lost.

If this has happened to you, allow me to remind you of the

lighter aspects of this topic.

Next year you will be introduced into a completely new

environment. This is daunting, but it also means something else:

freedom. No one will know who you are and this means that you

will be able to be whoever you have always wanted to be.

Concerning friendship: no one ever said that you have to lose him

or her. You simply have to work harder to keep them.

For those of you who are not in your final year, I have to ask

you one thing. As frightening as it may seem, make every second

count. One always considers oneself safe. The truth is, time waits for

no man (as my father always says about me forever running late).

You may feel as though what you have now leaves you satisfied. I

am glad that you have reached that point, but is that really true?

In my experience, things are not always as they seem.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I value friendship to the

extreme. I was satisfied and I did not need any more. When I

became a part of the musical, that all changed and for the better.

Now I have a full heart and an even fuller contact list.

Life is too precious to allow any moment of it to go to waste.

Sometimes incidents occur that you never thought was possible.

There is no way to prepare for them. If we were able to predict

them, then there would be no fun in living (not that it is not

tempting). If there is anything that you thought that you could

never do because you were never good, smart or strong enough,

then think again. No one in the world is more deserving of the great

things in life then you are. If any one else tells you differently, then

they were most likely in your position and made the wrong choice.

You are always far closer to success than you ever are to

failure if you simply keep on trying. That is my little caffeine inspired

wisdom for this issue. Fear is the enemy to dreams. Rather live your

life with no regrets, than with no (legal) risks. Ciao for now.

Chanté

TALK

BACK

We want to hear your

thoughts, idea and opinions.

Write to us at

ultimatepv@iafrica.com

Endless local

stage

opportunities,

a child star,

and B is

back.

Ever wanted to

be a star? Now

is the time… says

Daniёl Geldenhuys.

T H E A T R E If there was ever a time to explore your inner

performer, that time would be now. The

amateur theatre community in Somerset

West is experiencing a huge boom – and

anyone is welcome.

The winner of the grade 8 Most Likely

To Be Famous PV Award, Liam Walsh, is living

up to the hype by becoming nothing short of

a local celebrity. This year he‟s already

starred in Romeo and Juliet and played the

title role in Jack and the Beanstalk. He will

also be taking the stage in September as the

lead in The Emperor’s Groove, a spoof on the

original Disney classic, The Emperor’s New

Groove.

It‟s not that hard to get involved. The

two theatre hot spots are the Laurensford

Wine Estate where director Darrel Skijkers is

cranking out the productions. By the time

you‟re reading this, you‟ll have missed the

auditions for The Moulin Rouge, which will

premiere in February of 2012.

Then there is the upcoming production

After Ever After, an original script starring

much loved characters like Puss In Boots but

Pilar Pringles and CJ Opperman.

Looking for something a little less family

orientated? Head over to the playhouse for

Driving Ms Daisy.

Kelly‟s Amateur Drama School is open

to anyone from grade one to grade twelve.

So far they have delivered two high quality

productions in ‟07, ‟09 and are now gearing

up for the previously mentioned The

Emperor’s Groove which promises to

entertain all ages.

There is no shortage of acting

opportunities in our area right now but that‟s

not the only way you can get involved. These

productions are always looking for technical

fanatics, costume designers, makeup artists,

writers, and stage hands.

So if the above gives you a little flutter

in your heart, don‟t ignore it. The iron is red

hot, strike now!

Like “Carnivals of the Heart” on facebook.

Above: Liam Walsh

in Jack and the

Beanstalk (2011)

Below: The cast

and crew of The

Little Mermaid

(2010); a scene

from Robin Hood

(2009).

M U S I C

BEYONCÉ

4

Review by Alfreda

Simakani

R144.86 @ Kalahari.net

You were probably wondering why

Beyonce Knowles‟s latest CD is

called „4‟…

The reason she chose the

number was because it is a special

date in her life and the lives of her

loved ones. Her wedding anniversary,

family friends‟ birthdays are all on the

4th.

Fans have stated that her latest

release has shown signs of maturity in

her music. She has shed her Sasha

Fierce alter ego (which is now so two

years ago) and once again, began

to take bold experimental steps.

Not everyone liked the first

single on the album: “Run The World

(Girls)” but after listening to it again

and watching the music video, it‟s

hard to get it out of your head.

The sound of the album is

different to that of her earlier work.

She has begun to draw on a larger

range of sources for inspiration and

taken more chances. And anyone

who knows will tell you, that is the

mark of a great artist.

ABOVE: Beyoncé in Italian VOGUE.

RIGHT: her album: 4.

THE

OTHER

FANNING By Daniёl Geldenhuys

Elle Fanning seems to be

following in the footsteps of her

older sister Dakota, but is no

longer living in her shadow.

Having played the younger

version of her sister‟s character

in a film and mini series, Elle has

moved on to starring in noted

films such as Babel, The Curious

Case of Benjamin Button, and

television shows CSI and House.

Right now, she can be

classified as one of a rare breed

of child stars who don‟t get

millions of views on YouTube but

do produce high quality work.

The fashion world has

fallen in love with her, too. She

has starred in a fashion editorial

for US VOGUE and the photo on

the left is of her new ad

campaign with Marc by Marc

Jacobs.

Still, there is a good

chance you haven‟t

experienced her work. You will

now: she stars in Steven

Spielberg and and J. J. Abrams‟s

Super 8, a „mystery/sci-

fi/thriller/action/adventure‟ now

showing at NuMetro cinemas.

With that and two other

film scheduled to release this

year, one a horror and the other

a comedy, it is clear she‟s going

in a different direction than her

sister went… and she‟s clearly

versatile.

She‟s one to watch…

and you‟ll probably enjoy doing

so.

C E L E B R I T Y

ABOUT UBUNTU… After entering a teen film festival and walking away

with two trophies, making PV the most successful

school of the festival, ZANDILE NDAYI says she

learned something valuable…

Zandile Ndayi

(RIGHT) with the

cast and crew of

Metamorphosis. Photograph by Daniёl

Geldenhuys

“Umntu ngumuntu ngabantu” says the African saying but what

does this really mean?

Ubuntu is that love and care for others or does it have a more

significant meaning?

It is what builds strong and prosperous relationships and gives

life a deeper more meaningful purpose .Umntu ngumntu ngabantu,

you are person among other people.

Life today has consumed us in it and some of us have lost or

forgotten the importance of this saying...

The Ubuntu film festival gives the youth the platform to show

case their views on Ubuntu and revive the spirit of Ubuntu in the

form of acting within groups, script writing, making of music videos

and other activities.

A group of PV students took part in the film festival this year

for the second time. I was also given an opportunity to be part of

this initiative. Our team consisted of me, Megan Harvett, Lauren

James, Chanté Charles, Megan Higgo, Brett Rayner, Ulrich Fritz,

Ushaan Potgieter… to name a few.

The team chose the film Metamorphosis which was a

concept based on ideas that were brainstormed by the cast.

Chanté Charles, who wrote the script, and Lauren James, our

director, said they based their ideas on the well-known film Charlie

and the Chocolate Factory. Metamorphosis is a change, or in this

case, a change of heart - a change in the way we treat people. It

shows how people should accept one another regardless of race,

gender, cultural background or disability. The film follows the lives of

different characters, each with their own issues, and shows how a

game show teaches them the values of life.

A lot of time was spent on this project with the technical

difficulties, learning scripts and all the hard work that comes with

making a movie, but in the end it was all worth it. Although we had

a lot to deal with, we worked together to achieve the common

goal of success. I can still remember that when we struggled to find

a place to film, Ushaan and Megan offered their homes to us. Parel

Vallei helped a great deal in the creation of our dream: if they had

not given us equipment such as lights and mics, I don‟t know if we

would have been able produce the final product.

With the use of green screens and fancy equipment that I

never realised were in the movie process, we succeeded in

capturing the hearts of all.

On the 3rd of June 2011 The Metamorphosis team was invited

to Oude Libertas to the 2nd annual Ubuntu Teen Film Festival award

ceremony. We were invited to show others and to be shown by

fellow competitors how they executed the same idea in a variety of

ways.

Parel Vallei received an award for understanding of the

Ubuntu concept, and an award for the amazing script. We were

the only school to walk away with two awards, the pride factor was

very strong that night.

The film is a good example of the talent here at the school. It

opens the minds of those in the dark and creates an image of hope

and better change to the near future. I really enjoyed this

experience. It was amazing and, at the same time, overwhelming. I

got the opportunity to learn about people, the things that influence

us, different cultures, and how they influence me. I thank my team

and all who were involved.

WHAT

YOU

WANT (THEY‟VE GOT IT)

Dante de Koker and Kelly

Atmore are not designers. Not yet. For

now, they‟re doing something that will

benefit the Somerset West fashion

condition far more: sourcing. Whether

calling them Sourcerers is incredibly

lame or inexplicably cool remains

undecided. Basically, they find clothes

(where will remain their secret) that

they like, give them a few tweaks, and

sell them to you at a price that could

be considered free.

One. Night. Wonder. offers

consumers something that most stores

don‟t: clothes that people actually

want. “We saw a gap in the market for

the stuff that you see on blogs,” says

Danté. “You go onto a fashion blog

and you like, „Oh my gosh, that‟s so

cool‟ but you‟ll never find it anywhere.”

There is of course the option of

hitting the thrift stores, but it‟s a lot of

trouble and far too often you won‟t find

what you‟re looking for. “So we‟ll

source those really, really cool items of

clothing for the people.”

There can be no denying that

their clothing is just that: very, very cool.

Throw on a One. Night. Wonder. outfit

and a touch of attitude and you‟ll

stand out in the crowd, no problem.

The brand rides the fashion renaissance wave

with gusto. It‟s a lot of that „grandma‟s clothes‟ that

have gone from being ugly to being blatantly

fashionable. Danté and Kelly are ready to supply you

with a “consistent flow” of the good stuff.

Inspiration comes from (in the digital world) a

long list of blogs and (in the real world) a certain kind of

Cape Town crowd. The brand is not restricted to

seasons: Danté and Kelly will source elements from

seasonal trends that they like and think will fit into their

style which is, according to Danté, “very constant.”

The partnership seems to be an exceptionally

even one: they both source, they both style, they both

do PR. The two are best friends, so they know how to

function together.

The brand is slowly evolving: Kelly has begun to

create things from scratch, and they‟ll be creating some

great printed tees soon. For now, they‟re your go-to pair

for anything that‟s refreshingly different and (because

it‟s sourced) wonderfully unique.

one-night-wonder.tumblr.com

BY DANIЁL GELDENHUYS

Opposite: lace-

detail jacket, R40,

leather belt, R15,

high wasted shorts,

price on request,

all One. Night.

Wonder.

This page:

sleeveless tee, R30,

snakeskin belt, R15;

high waisted

trousers, R60, all

One. Night.

Wonder.

All stockings and

shoes worn

throughout,

models‟ own.

This page:

Sleeveless tee, R40;

belt, R15; high

wasted trousers,

R60, all One. Night.

Wonder; ring,

model‟s own.

Opposite: knit, R50,

leather belt, R15,

high waisted

shorts, R40, all One.

Night. Wonder.

This page: button

up blouse, R40,

double-collared

shirt (also worn

opposite), R40,

high waisted

denim shorts, R30,

all One. Night.

Wonder.

This page:

Sheer blouse, R30,

bra, model‟s own,

snakeskin belt, R15,

high waisted

trousers, R60; all

One. Night.

Wonder.

Opposite: top, R30,

knit waistcoat, R30,

distressed denim

shorts, price on

request; all One.

Night. Wonder; ring

and bra, model‟s

own.

Opposite: striped

top, R30, belt, R15,

high waisted

denim shorts, R40,

all One. Night.

Wonder.

This page: maxi

stripe jacket, R70,

One. Night.

Wonder.

From left: circular

sunglasses, stylist‟s

own; bra, model‟s

own; floral knit,

R40, high waisted

denim shorts, R40,

tight knit, R40, high

waisted trousers,

R70, all One. Night.

Wonder.

PRODUCTION

Daniёl

Geldenhuys.

MODELS (from left)

Peach Cronje and

Emilie Badenhorst.

HAIR AND MAKEUP

Leigh-Anne Maré.

RETOUCHING

Cornel Steyn

onenightwonder@

yahoo.com

079 501 5567

Meet

MRS

GOUWS The woman behind our principal chats

about a primary school, Charl Cilliers, her

expanding family, and being married to

Mr Gouws.

words DANIЁL GELDENHUYS

photographs KIM SWARTS

makeup SARAH HOWARD-BROWNE

As I was walking in circles around Ledbury, trying

to find a door, I realized that, for the first time in my life, I

was nervous about an interview. The idea of putting Mrs

Gouws on the cover came to me in an epiphany from an

intense session of singular brainstorming.

I knew the woman who married Mr Gouws had to

be something special and the thought intimidated me.

Lucky for my nerves, I was greeted by a gracious lady with

a welcoming smile – and snacks.

She apologizes for the state of her crockery (I find

it to be clean, pristine), says she‟s not good with photos

(this is one of the easiest covers we‟ve ever shot, see for

yourself), and warns me about her bad English. (She

made one mistake, which I think I told her was in fact

correct.) It‟s not that she‟s a pessimist – she‟s a

perfectionist. She likes things organized and sorted. Oh,

and she‟s a workaholic.

The reason we‟re not all a little bit more familiar

with Mrs Gouws is Ledbury. When she and Mr Gouws

came from the Eastern Cape to our neck of the woods

they lived in Betty‟s Bay and drove through to PV – and

De Hoop, where she teaches – every day. “I spent every

afternoon at the school. I had to sit and wait until five

o‟clock, seven o‟clock, nine o‟clock, sometimes twelve

o‟clock.”

Clearly those arrangements were unpractical, so

they made Ledbury, the little house on the school

grounds, their week-day home. Apparently, living on

school grounds is more of a convenience than a stress. If

Mr Gouws has an afternoon meeting, he can run home

first instead of having to wait in his office.

Mrs Gouws remembers the only time there was

ever a disturbance was a few years back during a certain

matric year‟s fourty days when a teacher, coming back

from a function with some students, discovered the havoc

the matrics had created and came knocking on the

Gouwses window around midnight. Otherwise, Ledbury

has been quiet and safe. The way she likes it.

Her passion is music. She comes from a family of

choir members, but she prefers playing the piano,

organ, or (nowadays) the keyboard.

She studied to become a Kindergarten

teacher, but as soon as she started looking for a job

she found out that music teachers were in high

demand, so she taught more music than anything

else.

Today she lives in the middle of the most

teenage-populated area of town, but she teaches

primary school and has no desires to change that.

She says her greatest joy in being a music

teacher is to see a child‟s progress over the years.

She starts with them in grade two and sees them

through to grade seven, helping them every step of

the way.

“We really work hard with the kids in the

junior school. I enjoy the little ones, I think they‟re

cute. I don‟t think the teenagers are so cute.” She is

kidding… kind of. But she really does seem to love

little children: her daughter is dating a man with a

six-year-old boy, who she bonded with easily. In fact,

she had to watch herself to make sure she didn‟t

spoil the child rotten.

It‟s their mental state that fascinates her. “I

love having this kid in the house, to chat to him, to

see how he thinks and reasons, etc.”

I ask her about the stars of the musical that

went to De Hoop… She didn‟t teach Charl music,

but she remembers him. What does she remember

about him from those days? “He was the

headmaster‟s son.” She holds her hand out at chair

height to indicate his height back then. “I remember

he was very good with a keyboard… very talented.”

She also remembers teaching Siphokazi Kalo

when she was in grade three and how all the other

girls tried to copy her exactly in the way they used

their mouths when they sang.

Mrs Gouws has always been a Gouws, that‟s how she

met her husband. They were studying together and

had to sit in alphabetical order. Soon enough, Mr

Gouws was sitting next to her all the time, especially in

music classes where she knew all the answers.

I build up the question I‟ve been waiting

patiently to ask: What‟s it like being married to Mr

Gouws?

“I thank the Lord every day for a loving, caring

and supportive husband like mine. He understands

me and puts up with me! When he is relaxed, he is

great fun. He loves telling jokes and stories. He is a

family man and wonderful father to our children. We

can all turn to him with our problems.” What an

answer!

They‟ve been married for thirty three years

and have two children: one a doctor and the other

studying to become a high school teacher. It seems apparent that being married to Mr

Gouws means being married to his job which,

naturally, takes a lot out of him. It‟s a good thing that

she‟s a teacher because she understands

completely.

Both of them “take their jobs too seriously.”

The only difference is that Mrs Gouws is as meticulous

in her personal life as at work, while Mr Gouws is far

more relaxed at home. He‟ll be the one to say,

“Leave the dishes for tomorrow,” and she‟ll be the

one who would rather just get them done now.

Their personalities even each other out nicely.

“It definitely works that people aren‟t always the

same.”

When they‟re in Betty‟s Bay, things are very

different – like a mini holiday. It‟s the exact opposite

of living on the school grounds, there you don‟t think

of school. “When he‟s here, he‟s focused on school.

On the breakaway to Betty‟s Bay, he breaks.” And so

does she.

Mrs Gouws is a very grounded and content person.

She is happy with enjoying the day-to-day routine of

life. She reads no fiction and watches realistic movies.

She doesn‟t seem to want or need any kind of drama

to make her life exciting. It‟s the little things that

provide the excitement.

Her son is getting married soon, and she‟s

excited to take on the role of grandmother. Mr

Gouws says he‟ll be the kind or grandpa who will

keep the kids busy with mountain and fishing

adventures. She, on the other hand, will read them a

story and sing them a song, maybe turn the family

into a little real-life musical.

The main item on her bucket list is travelling

with her husband – something she‟s never done

before. She‟d love to explore South Africa: the Kruger

National Park, the Drakensberg, Victoria Falls…

It‟s refreshing in this day and age to meet

someone who is so content and gracious. It seems like

Mrs Gouws‟s outlook on life is the key to being happy

and content, and that‟s a lesson to be taught to

learners of all ages.

“I enjoy the

little ones, I

think they’re

cute. I don’t

think the

teenagers

are so cute.”

celebrating

They’re our parents away from home. They inspire

us, motivate us, and help us succeed.

This month ULTIMATE’s features writers picked their

favourite teachers (a challenging task) and wrote

about why they’re so incredible. Then they

interviewed them to find out those interesting

things you never knew about them.

our educators

The entire ULTIMATE editorial team wishes to thank

not only the teachers featured in this issue, but

every member of staff that contributes to making

Parel Vallei the excellent school that it is.

Keep up the excellent work!

Photographed by KIM SWARTS

MRS ROSSOUW BY CHANTÉ CHARLES

For me perhaps the funniest would be

the frequent and frightening threats that Mrs.

Rossouw can deliver with the greatest of

ease. By now, it would be no surprise for her

to whip out a chainsaw from underneath her

table. (I have covertly checked and alas, I

found no weapon.)

More than that, she inspires me to do

better. Normally one feels pressure to do

one‟s best, but the adrenaline kept the need

to exceed alive. It also can have a negative

effect. I remember one time during an oral,

and as I looked at her, she looked at her

watch. Immediately I froze. Was my speech

too long? Was it boring? When I consulted a

friend about the incident, they promptly

smacked me upside the head.

These are some of the things that I will

miss the most about Mrs. Rossouw and that I

cherish. The quirky threats delivered in a

quiet tone (which is incredibly effective), the

passion that she carries for her work and

above all, the friend that I made through a

shared love for English.

By now, it

would be no

surprise for her

to whip out a

chainsaw from

underneath

her table.

Starting out my high school career, I knew

that there was one subject that I would

value above all: English. As an aspiring

author and poet, I wanted a teacher that

matched my enthusiasm for the subject.

Luckily I had an older sister that told

me all about her fantastic teacher.

Immense relief flooded me. Now imagine

my surprise when I arrived in grade 8, to

find that everyone thought to have

common sense, feared her. When I saw her

for the first time, all I truly noticed was her

hair color. Undaunted, I faced this

discovery head on… only to find that the

fear was wholly unnecessary

Through the years of being under

her teaching hand, I have been diagnosed

with a very serious and blatantly obvious

syndrome: Rossouwism, a philosophy

based on having an absolute love of all

that is English and Shakespeare (especially

this).

I cannot quite pinpoint when I

became as devoted to her as I have.

Perhaps it is over the love of books or that

she truly grasps the nature of the great

literary works. Over time, a dynamic

formed between us. All of my friends know

that she is my favorite. They also know not

to expect sympathy from me when they

are reprimanded. (If Mrs. Rossouw has

dealt it, then they must have deserved it.)

The funniest of incidents in class

pass so quickly that one has to be on

constant alert. There is never a shortage of

profound wisdom. On such pearl is, “Stay

away from any man skulking in the

shadows with the glint in his eye and a

knife in his hand.” There are also the

unexpected striking poses (which you have

to see to believe).

The following interview contains only the information

that you are dying to know. An opportunity such as

this could not be wasted.

The first question was one that many of my

friends are curious of. The first thing that one notices

about ma‟am is that her hair is a shocking white. It

matches her perfectly but one has to wonder, why not

opt to dye it? “The only time that I attempted to dye

my hair ended with a breakout of eczema all over my

head. I am allergic.” That would explain it.

Another image one entertains of her is that

Mrs. Rossouw would never suffer from any addictions.

(Now wait a second, I did not mean it like that.) Mrs.

Rossouw does not drink alcohol, because she cannot.

It normally ends with great feelings of nausea. Of

course, this was only found out after drinking. (I am

starting to notice a pattern of learning from terrible

experiences.)

Of course, if that were it, there would be no

fun. She became enslaved to one addiction. “Both

my parents were smokers as I grew up. Around my

second year of university, I had a boyfriend who

absolutely despised it. When we broke up, I started to

spite him. After three months I tried to quit, but could

not.” How long does it then take to break an

addiction such as this? “It took the next 20 years.” This

also means that when Mrs. Rossouw gives you a

talking to about smoking, you cannot say that she

does not understand.

One expects Mrs. Rossouw to have resisted the forces

of evil, moonlighting as a masked heroin. In reality, it is

not far off. This story took place in the time of

apartheid.

“During that time, my helper had to take time

off work due to a tragic loss. In her place, I temporarily

appointed her daughter, who spoke not a word of

English. I suspected that she did not possess a pass but

had no way of knowing. As life goes, the police came

knocking and I was summoned to court. I was advised

to write a letter to the court. In it, I explained the

situation and that I had no legal means of finding out

the truth. As a person of light complexion, one could

not venture into the townships. The day of court

appearance came and mine was the first name to be

called out. I was beyond terrified. The clerk then

informed me that my case had been withdrawn.”

…My teacher wrote her way out of jail-time. I am

speechless.

I suppose after hearing this story, you

would never have expected that she has three

tattoos. My first guess was that they were her

favorite Shakespeare works. Perhaps they were

three tomes. “They are three small dots. I had

to be lined up for radiotherapy.” (I need to do

some work on my investigative guessing). What

does the survivor have to say about her

cancer ordeal? “I was extremely lucky. It was a

tiny incident.” Mrs. Rossouw does seem the

type to be able to mentally will cancer cells

away. I definitely think that there is some

evidence here of extraordinary powers.

Perhaps one of the funniest, simplest

questions that I found to ask was this: why

English? “I love it and it is the thing that I do

best.” Now that I was on the train of this

subject, I continued. With such an impressive

general knowledge of books, could she

remember the first book that she had ever

read? “Big Book of Baby Forest Animals.” Once

again, I was speechless.

This interview had proven a few things

to me. The first is that Mrs. Rossouw will never

be afraid to go out on a limb for those who are

in need. The second is that she is one of the

strongest people I have ever had the honour

to meet. The last point, is a child‟s‟ fantasy. My

teacher is a super heroine. She may not have

the heat ray vision, but she has a great death

glare. She may not have x-ray vision but she

can see under your desk. She cannot read

your mind, but she knows what you are

thinking. The most important fact is that while

she does not have limbs of steel, she has a

heart of gold.

“The only time that

I attempted to

dye my hair

ended with a

breakout of

eczema all over

my head. I am

allergic.”

MNR. & MEV.

STEENKAMP DEUR DANIЁL GELDENHUYS

Die Steenkamps is so half perfek, nè? Nee.

Dit kan nie wees nie – niemand is perfek nie.

Juffrou /Mevrou Steenkamp is die rede dat ek

nog Afrikaans Huistaal neem. As ek by „n sekere ander

onderwyser kon wees, het ek Eerste Addisionele Taal

toe geskuif.

Veral in Matriek, wanneer alles mal gaan en dit

lyk asof tyd minder en minder word en jou teksboek

dikker en dikker, is dit die heel beste ding wanneer jy

by „n juffrou se klas kan instap en haar hoor sê: “Never

fear when the red-haired lady is near. Ek het alles

onder beheer.”

Ek kan nie mooi verduidelik wat presies so „n

sterk band tussen Juffrou en my klas geskep het nie,

maar ek weet sy is een van die mense in Parel Vallei

wat ek die meeste gaan mis. Om in haar klas te wees,

is soos om by die huis te wees: soms is dit lekker (lees!)

soms is dit nie so lekker nie (taal!), maar dit is altyd

bekend, veilig, vriendelik.

Sy doen moeite. Baie moeite. Elke keer as sy vir

ons „n werkvel gee wat sy opgestel het, kan „n mens

dadelik sien daar is baie tyd en energie in gesit.

Sy is passievol oor haar taal, maar nie op „n

irriterende manier nie. Dit maak dat jy wil leer – dat jy

hard wil werk. Sekere onderwysers sal nooit vir „n

leerder volpunte vir „n projek gee nie, maar Juffrou is

nie een van hulle nie. Dis nie te sê sy gee punte weg

nie. As sy kan sien jy het net soveel moeite in jou werk

gesit soos sy in hare, sal sy jou beloon.

Dis „n baie goeie ding dat ek en meneer

Steenkamp goed oor die weg kom. Ek het geen klasse

by hom nie, maar soms kry ek die gevoel (tussen my

verhoogproduksie, hierdie tydskrif, leerderraad en

Kultuurweek) dat ek meer van hom te sien kry as sy

studente.

Daar is tye wanneer ek elke dag, elke pouse,

in sy klas/kantoor is. “Wat het gebeur?” sal hy vra in „n

diep stem met „n effense glimlag. “Niks!” sal ek altyd

antwoord, en dan vir hom die slegte nuus gee.

Meneer Steenkamp het baie hooi op sy vurk. Darem om

„n goeie rede: hy is die hoof van Kultuur by Parel Vallei,

die graad 8 -hoof, „n leederraadonderwyser, en dan

gee hy nog klas ook! Ek dink dis omdat hy baie maklik ja

sê as „n student na hom toe kom met „n idee wat die

kultuur van Parel Vallei kan verryk. Ons kom nie agter

hoeveel goeie goed in die skool aan meneer

Steenkamp te danke is nie.

Verskoon die Engels wat nou gaan kom… maar

dis Meneer (soos ek met hom praat sou mens sweer sy

eerste naam was regtig Meneer) se „take no prisoners‟-

werkstyl wat so goed werk. As hy iets moet kies, dan kies

hy. En dan is dit so. Moenie stry nie. Jy mag dalk nie nou

die sin daarin sien nie, maar jy sal gou genoeg. Wys.

Daar is twee goed oor Die Steenkamps (ek en

Karen Rohwer het altyd gesê as mens „n realiteitsreeks

oor hulle maak, dan moet dit so genoem word en die

titel moet op dieselfde deuntjie as The Simpsons gesing

word) waaroor ek mal is.

Die eerste is dat mens heeltemal eerlik met hulle

kan wees. As mens soms iets oor iets of iemand sê wat

jy nie eintlik moet nie, sal hulle vir jou „n knipoog

(Meneer) of „n laggie (Mevrou) gee wat jou laat

verstaan hulle stem met jou saam.

Nommer twee: nog nooit het ek onveilig,

ongemaklik of gekul gevoel deur „n Steenkamp nie.

Almal het hulle oomblikke met hul menere en mevroue,

maar hierdie Meneer en hierdie Mevrou laat jou voel

asof jy nie by die skool is nie. By hulle voel „n mens

heeltemal tuis.

Juffrou Steenkamp is

die rede dat ek nog

Afrikaans Huistaal

neem.

Ons kom nie agter

hoeveel goeie goed

in die skool aan

meneer Steenkamp te

danke is nie.

Die Steenkamps is regte onderwysers. Toe ek

die onderhoud met hulle gedoen het, het ek beplan

om te vra: as julle nie in die onderwys was nie, wat sou

julle droomwerk gewees het? Ek het gou genoeg

agtergekom dit sou „n baie dom vraag (ja, ek weet

daar bestaan mos nie so iets nie) gewees het. Dit is

wat hulle wil doen, dit is die droomwerk, en dit is hoe

hulle daar uitgekom het…

Hulle was saam op universiteit, in dieselfde klas.

Mardie was die meisie wat reg voor gesit het en notas

gemaak het. Willem was die ou wat agter in die klas

geslaap het. Tog het hulle nooit by mekaar uitgekom

nie… as facebook toe bestaan het, sou hulle „n hele

paar „mutual friends‟ gehad het, maar Stellenbosch

was (dalk „n bietjie te) groot genoeg vir die twee van

hulle.

“Ek het nooit op universiteit met Mardie te

doen gekry nie,” sê Meneer. “Ek was kwaad gewees,

want die girls wat ek gedate het, sou vir my sê hulle is

die naweek na hulle vriendin toe in Namakwaland…”

Toe gaan Willem army toe en Mardie

Hopetown toe om skool te hou. „n Paar jaar later het

hulle altwee (heel toevallig) begin skoolhou in

Calvinia. Hulle klasse was langs mekaar. Klink bekend?

Dit was dalk toe die noodlot, maar dat hulle vandag

kan klasgee langs mekaar het nie net sommer gebeur

nie. Meer daaroor later…

Mardie was die teenoorgestelde van wat

Willem verwag het toe sy „n kwartaal na hom by die

skool in Calvinia begin het. Almal het die „ou tannie‟

Juffrou Genis geken… en nog so een verwag toe hulle

hoor daar kom nog „n Genis.

Willem en die skool se sekretaresse sluip toe

een dag in die kluis in en kyk na die nuwe Genis se

lêer: ongetroud… geen foto… dra dan seker vaal,

bruin pakkies en praat gedurig oor haar katte. Min het

hy die mooi jong vrou verwag wat voor in die klas

gesit en notas gemaak het.

Hulle was vriende. Tot Mardie hom “afgevry”

het by sy meisie: “Sy was nie „n aangename karakter

nie,” sê Juffrou vir my, “Ek weet nie hoe so „n

aangename man met so „n onaangename meisie

deurmekaar geraak het nie.”

Die kinders het in 1989 vir Juffrou Genis/Mardie

gewed dat sy aan die einde van die Junie-vakansie

sou terug kom met „n verloofring. Sy sou eers in

September verloof raak, so Mardie het geweet sy was

veilig… maar toe was die ring sommer binne „n week

klaar en sy moes die weddenskap betaal aan haar

klas: sjokolade.

Die oggend van 24 Maart 1990, “was „n

vreeslike besigheid,” sê Juffrou so half ingedagte,

“hulle [haar ma en tantes] het al die kos self gemaak

en die kerksaal georganiseer…”

Na die troue het die paartjie in die kar

gespring en na die Suidkaap gery vir „n „honeymoon

road trip.‟

Agt jaar later besluit hulle om „die lewe buite

die onderwys‟ te probeer. Willem, Mardie en „n vier –

jaar- oue Grethe het „n hotel gaan bestuur in

Namakwaland, op Kamieskroon.

Mardie was in die kombuis, besig met die kos.

En Willem was, soos nou nog, “front of house”, besig

om gaste te ontvang en probleme op te los.

In September, die maand van die blomme,

was die hotel stampvol. “Mense van oral” sê Juffrou,

“Amerikaners, Engelse, Franse, Italianers,

Japannese…”

“As ek sien daar kom „n groep Japannese,

dan hardloop ek kombuis toe… want as hulle inkom

dan vra hulle vir „soup of the day‟” lag Meneer.

Dit was twee jaar van „n Basil en Sybil van

Fawlty Towers-soort leefstyl. Die verskil was natuurlik

dat hulle „n kind gehad het. Daar was „n wonderlike

nanny, maar dit was nie genoeg nie. Te

ongedissiplineerd. Hulle het die roetine van die

onderwys gemis en was reg om terug te keer.

Dit was toe Weskaap toe – Strand toe – na

Willem se ouers (wat toe ouetehuis toe is) se huis. Hy

het gaan skoolgee in Kaapstad en sy het „n

spysenieringsonderneming begin.

Dit was nie maklik om by Parel Vallei in te kom

nie… maar meneer Steenkamp het maar sy maniere.

Toe hy in sy onderhoud met mnr. Gouws en die res

van die beheerligaam aan die einde van die eerste

kwartaal sit, sê hy vir hulle hy wil nie sy ander skool so

skielik los nie. Dalk sal dit beter wees as hy eers by

Parel Vallei in die derde kwartaal begin… intussen kan

sy (hy gee vir hulle Mardie Steenkamp se CV aan) in sy

pos waarneem by die skool.

Later die aand bel mnr. Gouws: kan Juffrou

Steenkamp volgende kwartaal begin? Meneer moes

toe vir haar gaan wys waar die skool is.

Juffrou het toe die 9E3‟s vir registerklas en

graad 8 tot 12 vir Afrikaans Eerste Addisionele Taal.

Mnr. du Preez se dogter, Genevieve, toe in Matriek

onder Juffrou Steenkamp, het gesê sy het nog nooit in

haar lewe soveel Afrikaans gedoen nie.

Meneer het toe in die derde kwartaal begin,

en Juffrou was vir die volgende paar jaar in en uit as

„n plaasvervanger. In 2003 kry die Afrikaanse

onderwyser in kamer 507 „n senuwee-ineenstorting,

(ja, dit is vir onderwysers ook moeilik), bel vir juffrou

Steenkamp die dag na haar verjaarsdag en vra vir

haar of sy kan oorneem.

Teen 2005 het Juffou „n permanente pos, in die

klas langs haar man, en die res is geskiedenis.

“Baie van die leerders is ontevrede as hulle nie

in graad 8 al „n A kry nie,” sê Juffrou, “maar jy behoort

eintlik eers in graad 12 „n A te kry, want dis „n

groeiproses. Dis so wonderlik om te sien hoe die

kinders daarby uitkom – daar is ongelooflike

intelligente kinders en talentvolle kinders in ons skool.”

“Ja,” sê Meneer, “dis waar.”

MR SAYER BY LANA DE BEER

Of course, the most legendary

moments with Mr Sayer occur on History

outings. (The history students reading this

are already smiling.) The most famous

moment was when, in grade ten, he got

onto the train and it just drove away,

leaving us on the platform.

I remember the panic on his face

when, earlier this year when the matrics

went on an outing to parliament, Jodi

Coetzee walked up to a very important

looking man in a suit and asked if he could

take a picture of our class. I‟m not exactly

sure what he said but I remember him

whispering something like: “Jodi, do you

realize you could be talking to a minister?!”

Whatever happens, he always tries

to keep things in good order. He likes things

organized. A “dames en here, verskoon

asseblief hierdie onderbreking” from the

intercom is most unwelcome. As is

someone speaking out of turn. All you have

to do is cooperate. If you do that, you‟ll

learn a lot. There‟s never a wrong answer,

everything is a debate. Remember your

introductions and conclusions and always,

always, remember the key word to survival

in History class: productivity.

the majority of

his class has

now mastered

an American,

British or

Russian accent

When you hear the name “Sayer”, you

think “slightly eccentric History teacher”

yes? Well you‟re not wrong - he is the

History teacher and he is eccentric if not

slightly.

He has, over the years, taught us

extra skills necessary for survival. This

includes; “galloping” down the corridor

whilst “neighing”-not as easy as one might

think; “diving” into the carpet and having

to swim for our lives- we were shackled

slaves, you see, so it was quite a trial.

Many drowned; and the majority of his

class has now mastered an American,

British or Russian accent.

If you have not realized this from

what is written above, Mr. Sayer is an

evtremely passionate teacher. When he

teaches, he really gets into what he is

saying. He asks questions and, even though

he already knows the answers. will get

opinions from everyone in the class on the

subject, prompting us to really think about

the work.

The best part about having him as

a history teacher is that he can often offer

the class first hand accounts. For example,

since he was alive during the apartheid

era, he can tell us what the general feeling

in the country was like at the time… and

give us pristine impersonations of the

country leaders.

He doesn‟t just do some light

research on a subject before teaching it to

us. He really gives it some in depth thought

and, like any good historian, consults a

wide variety of sources. Well… it‟s either

that, or he‟s just really good at ripping out

a random book and reading something to

us that relates to what is presented in our

text book.

There is so much more to him than meets the

eye. For instance, have you ever wondered why

he does the devotions every week? Or why he‟s so

strict about his students being late or using the

bathroom? Let‟s start at the beginning…

David Sayer was born in the Transvaal in

1947. His father had come to South Africa from

Britain in the 1930s. In 1943 his parents met at a

party and instantly connected. Due to his father‟s

tight schedule - he was in the military in World War

Two - they got married after two days!! It was

definitely „love at first sight‟ since they stayed

together.

Sayer‟s father was in the mining business in a little

town and one thing that Sayer remembers doing is

building a canoe for himself out of galvanised iron.

He went to an old-fashioned, British

boarding school for boys and that was where he

learnt the values of discipline. There was a girls

school down the road but they were only allowed

to mingle after church on a Sunday and that was

only for ten minutes, so of course a scandal

erupted.

In his 11th year, boys started to sneak out to

meet the girls. Sayer says he wasn‟t one of them,

not very convincingly. The teachers realised that

their pupils needed to mature towards the

opposite sex so „visitation rights‟ were instated.

Every Sunday afternoon for two hours, the boys

were allowed to socialise with the girls on the field.

Sayer remembers how they would rush down to

the corner shop to purchase chocolates with their

allowances. Hah, bribery.

He was involved with the SCA and they

would gather in a classroom on a Sunday night.

This would influence his career in the future.

In his 11th year,

boys started to

sneak out to meet

the girls. Sayer says

he wasn’t one of

them, not very

convincingly.

He joined the army after high school and then

went on to study a BA with History, English and

Classical Life and Thought. It was Apartheid in

those days and he would join fellow students and

protest against the unfair exclusion of black

students. He also took part in a march.

He went on to become an English teacher

in a little town where he met his wife Sandra in

1974. They then decided to move down to Cape

Town. At this stage he felt he was being called to

do the work of God so he studied to become a

pastor. He preached the gospel first at a Baptist

church in Somerset West then at a church in Cape

Town. After a while he was feeling family pressure

to provide, and there were some mixed issues and

beliefs within his church, so he went back to

teaching.

He was able to get a post at Parel Vallei

High School because of Mrs Rossouw who he

already knew due to his wife‟s friendship with her

sister. He carried on teaching English and

developed his love for acting through helping with

the school‟s production of Romeo and Juliet and

Othello. The school‟s previous History teacher, Mr

de Wit, left and when Mr Gouws offered the job to

Sayer, he immediately grabbed the opportunity.

He‟s been teaching History for the past 5-6 years.

He has three sons. His eldest is Graham (32

years old) and he is an English teacher at Somerset

College High school. The second is Brian who‟s

heavily involved with computer software etc. His

youngest son‟s name is Sean and he is an

architect busy with his third year of work. He has a

baby girl, making Mr Sayer is a grandfather. He is

very proud of this fact.

Note: Never ask a History teacher what his

favourite period in History is. It‟s a cross between

World War Two and the events leading up to it,

Bolshevism, the English Constitution- how it

became a democracy- and the new South Africa

and whether Apartheid still would‟ve reigned if

Jan Smuts was still in power. Goodness.

He admires Mr Gouws immensely for

everything that he does for the school and he also

admires the Maths department since he cannot

do a simple calculation.

I took a chance and asked whether the rumour

about Mrs Rossouw being arrested was true and it

interested him immediately, so to Mrs Rossouw:

expect a bribery in the form of a cup of tea in the

near future!

MRS VAN STADEN BY NATASHA BICKNELL

When I think of Mrs Van Staden, I think

of endless class discussions on subject

matters that can have you sitting at the

edge of your seat for up to an hour and a

half. I think of delicious chocolate cake

that is so moist it tastes like something from

heaven. Job opportunities also come to

mind, as well as blue eye shadow. If you

are one of my fellow “geographers,” you

should be nodding your head and

chuckling by now. If not, let me fill you in...

Mrs van Staden has a way of

making her pupils feel right at home. She is

the type of teacher who doesn‟t have to

shout or throw chalk around to get

attention, she has it from the get go. Her

geographers in training respect her

because she demands it, but in a non-

demanding kind of way. She teaches her

pupils to love our earth, its creatures, and

the smell of old topography maps.

A sense of humour and a massive

load of patience are two things that make

Mrs van Staden special. She also has a

deep understanding of teenagers. Our

class finds great delight in surprising her in

unexpected ways. The best time to do this

is when she is showing us slide shows and

the big screen blocks her view of the rest of

us while she sits at her computer. The guys

have a favourite trick- moving all of their

desks right to the front of the class, so when

she lifts the screen she sees seven innocent

faces peering up at her, bursting at the

seams with laughter. There was also the

time when somebody brought Vicks to

school and Mrs van Staden lifted her

screen to find half the class balling their

eyes out. That was funny.

Mrs van Staden‟s classroom always

smells like the ocean. I don‟t know how she

does it, but I like it. She always looks

perfect- I don‟t think she‟s ever had a bad

hair day in her life. She teaches us lessons

about life in an amazingly humble way.

Our daily lessons often stretch way beyond

igneous rocks and volcanic eruptions. She

likes to hear our opinion on everything,

whether it be about the latest political

scandal or starting a veggie garden at

school. Everybody‟s answer is “korrek,” as

long as it is backed up with some reason,

no matter how far fetched it might be.

That‟s what I like about Mrs van Staden.

She allows us to think out of the box. And

she has an awesome accent.

Mrs van Staden goes out of her way

to make sure that we all understand what

she teaches. If we happen to be struggling,

she is never too busy to give us an extra

lesson or three after school, or to

photocopy a million and one pages of

map work exercises. She expects the best

from us (I have been told she wants a 90%

from me at the end of the year. Cough.),

and her gentle pushing is all the motivation

we need to study our socks off. Once,

during an exam, she walked around with a

packet of mints. Exams aren‟t half as bad

when you‟re sucking on something minty.

Our class has grown a lot since grade 10. I

only came in grade 11, but since then it

has grown even more. This doesn‟t surprise

me. We all know it has to do with the fact

that geography is the best subject. That;

and Mrs van Staden‟s amazing

brandewynkoek...

Mrs van Staden’s

classroom always

smells like the

ocean. I don’t

know how she

does it, but I like it.

When I did my interview with Mrs van Staden, I

couldn‟t really think of any specific questions. So I

just asked her for her story...

It all started on a big farm between

Caledon and Greyton. It‟s not surprising that Mrs

van Staden lights up when she talks about it. It

turns out she was actually born on the farm. Her

mom was baking bread when she “realised

something was wrong” and a kitchen helper ran to

fetch her dad. That‟s when Mrs van Staden‟s great

farm-life adventure began.

Believe it or not, Mrs van Staden grew up

as a tomboy. She describes her time on the farm

as „glorious.‟ When she wasn‟t helping her dad

with the harvesting (yes, Mrs van Staden can ride

a tractor herself), she was playing rugby amongst

the oak trees or exploring the farm with her two

brothers. She also has an older sister, who was a bit

more “girly” than her. Mrs van Staden smiles a

reminiscent smile as she talks about the games she

and her brothers used to play, like “spook spook”

and how they used to climb the mountain and

braai “vissies” and pick “waterblommetjies” to eat

on their adventures. They also made river rafts and

rode horses in their free time.

Mrs van Staden‟s father was a very good

farmer. They farmed wheat, veggies and peaches

and they also kept cows for dairy. Mrs van Staden

said she didn‟t study enough in primary school

because she was always helping her dad on the

farm. Her dad achieved a lot as a farmer. His

workers were treated very well and they even

joined the family for Christmas dinner some years.

They were always given good housing on the farm

and they loved her dad very much. He even

made sure his children dressed well in front of

them, because he said it showed them respect.

Another thing Mrs van Staden loved to

do was cook. Her mother was a great cook

and she enjoyed helping her in the kitchen,

especially during her high school years. Mrs

van Staden‟s mother used to help the poorer

families in the community with catering for

weddings and functions, but her food was so

good, the wealthier families soon heard about

it and she started cooking for them too. Before

school teaching, Mrs van Staden lectured for

about ten years at Stellenbosch. She also

catered part-time for many functions,

including weddings- not only cooking, but

decorating tables and making flower

arrangements too.

Mrs van Staden is happily married with

two sons. She says her husband tells her she

can‟t sit still. It‟s apparently true. When they

lived in Paarl, she grew strawberries and took

them to the market herself. She says she often

prays that the sun will stand still so she can get

everything done. It‟s been a big change for

her to be living in the suburbs now and she

says when they visit a farm, she has a hard

time forcing herself to sit still and be a lady

when she really just wants to run around

outside like she did when she was growing up.

Mrs van Staden is probably the most

grateful, content person that I know. She says

that she can‟t do anything without help from

above. She is completely dependent on God

and she says that her one wish would be that

everyone in the world could be saved. She

and her husband go to a local hospital quite

often to minister and encourage the patients.

She seemed to think that her life hasn‟t been

much to write about, but I could probably

have sat for a whole two hours listening to her

stories about the farm and her encouraging

wisdom.

When she wasn’t

helping her dad

with the harvesting

(yes, Mrs van

Staden can ride a

tractor herself).

MRS STRAUSS BY DANIЁL GELDENHUYS

I remember it well: I was in grade ten and drama was

absolutely everything to me. Some time during the

year the tragic news struck: my drama teacher, Mr

Olivier, was leaving. The only thing scarier than trying

to imagine a world where he was no longer my

teacher, was trying to imagine the new drama

teacher. What if he/she/it was bad? What if it was

some lame substitute? What if my entire drama career

went down the drain?

It was all too horrid to think about. The new

drama teacher had to be good, there was no two

ways about it. I viewed having a bad drama teacher

as one of those diseases or accidents where people

would say „it won‟t happen to me.‟ It wouldn’t

happen to me.

And so the rumours began to fly around in a

way that they only can in a drama class. He/she/it

was in fact a she, and she studied at Stellenbosch.

Good. At the very least, I knew that meant she‟d be

good with stage work and would probably be able to

get us in a good place for practicals and Fraserburg.

The first day of term three, Ms van Zyl stood out

– I think mostly because she was wearing a

hypnotizing ensemble of primary colours… I only really

remember the purple shoes.

Finally we got to drama class and she

introduced herself to us. I was happy with the fact that

her surname was Van Zyl because I had good karma

with Van Zyls: my godmother, my primary school

(beloved) English/Afrikaans teacher/ and that really

smart girl in my class who can act like no one else and

who seems to be really nice, are all Van Zyl. So it‟s the

surname and her purple courts… we were getting off

to a good start.

A little later during her introduction to the class,

I found out I‟d seen her perform about a year before

at the Woordfees. Thinking back on what I‟d seen

then and what was currently in front of me, I got that

much-awaited feeling of relief that Ms Van Zyl would

be a good drama teacher. So there! It didn’t happen

to me.

It‟s only two years later and I can‟t seem to remember a

time without Mrs Strauss (she‟s been married for quite

some time now and I‟ve finally managed to let Van Zyl

go). She‟ll be your best friend and your worst enemy all

in the same lesson. Her marking of practicals (that‟s all a

drama student cares about) is strict but fair, and you get

the feeling that she really, really cares about you as a

student.

We‟ve grown up with Mrs. Strauss, and she with

us. Back when she started, she was a single gal who was

trying to make a place for herself in Parel Vallei, and we

thought we were very grown up. Now she‟s a married

woman who plays an integral role in the school, and we

think we‟re very grown up. We do, however, realize that

we weren‟t so grown up in grade ten.

Strauss, as we sometimes call her, is a memory

maker. (I just googled the term to see if I could claim it

as a Daniёl original, but it seems a scrapbooking

company beat me to it.) She‟s the kind of person who, if

you take a few minutes to sit down and reminisce about

the past, you‟ll find the good memories were good and

the bad memories were bad, but most of all, they are

well worth remembering.

Oh, and I was right about the whole

Stellenbosch thing: she definitely knows her way around

a stage. I‟ve seen it, not only with her direction of our

practicals, but also with the direction of her 2011 drama

production, Intiem, which I have the immense honour of

starring in.

I‟ve got to end this off now, I‟ve got lines to

learn…

Ms van Zyl stood

out – I think mostly

because she was

wearing a

hypnotizing

ensemble of

primary colours.

You walk into a bar… (this isn‟t the beginning

of a lame joke, so bear with me) …well, it‟s more of a

restaurant. The lights are low, but you can see what

you‟re doing. You‟re surrounded by a lot of

contemporary art, and the décor seems to make you

feel warm and snuggly. The food arrives: it‟s excellent.

You‟re still trying to figure out what that unexpected

ingredient is when Hettie Etikettie takes the stage and

(not so subtly) informs you that you have been using

the wrong fork.

Next scenario: you rush down to the local deli

where there is a new organic cheese being presented

for the first time. You‟re a little late, a little frazzled, but

you manage to slip in on time. Inside the deli you take

a deep breath, appreciating all the interesting smells

of the wide diversity of farm and organic products.

The presentation is about to start and Hettie Etikettie

takes the stage, informing you that you look

neglected and are incorrectly dressed for the

occasion.

Those are Mrs. Strauss‟s two dreams: theatre

and a show, and a deli for food fanatics. The

constant? Hettie Etikettie.

Who is Hettie Etikettie? In my opinion, she‟s

actually a modern outspoken superhero… and her

story goes like this…

Not so long ago in a relatively close land,

Stellenbosch drama student Annelie van Zyl received

a gift from her grandmother. A book called Etikette Vir

Elke Geleenteid by Hettie Naude. The book was

hilarious: giving detailed descriptions of how to use a

spoon and how to avoid wild men. She began to read

the best parts aloud to her friends… eventually putting

on a special “Hettie” voice (as a drama student

would) to make the material even more intriguing.

Her friends loved her etiquette renditions and

she thought she was just having some harmless fun…

but what she didn‟t know was that the book was

beginning to have a life of its own, creeping into her

dreams and manipulating her thoughts.

One day she was paging through the book

and she cut her finger on one of the pages. She

screamed, falling backwards onto the floor in terror.

She shut her eyes, gritting her teeth for thirteen painful

seconds as the change took place. When she

opened her eyes, she was no longer Annelie van Zyl,

she was Hettie Etikettie.

You can decide for yourself what you want to

take as fact from the preceding two paragraphs, but

the following is completely truthful: van Zyl used Hettie

Etikettie as the main character in her end of year

cabaret practical and many more times after that.

You wouldn‟t think that the current modern,

fun living personality that is Mrs Strauss and the strict,

traditional and highly strung Hettie Etikettie have

much in common, but it seems Strauss is more

traditional than one would think.

“I feel offended when someone comes over to

eat and they don‟t use the correct table manners,”

she says.

And it doesn‟t stop at that. She doesn‟t like to

see the way people are treating each other these

days. She finds it sad that our modern world is getting

a little too modern, too selfish.

“People don‟t even know what etiquette is

anymore. The kids laugh at etiquette because it‟s so

ridiculous, funny and crazy.”

What Hettie, and therefore Strauss, is doing, is

presenting us with the idea of etiquette in a comical

way… one that might hopefully creep into our minds

and give us that hypothetical paper cut the same

way it did her.

Strauss agrees that etiquette is a way of

showing respect, a vital component in creating (or

resurrecting) a fully functioning society.

Her traditional farm girl style upbringing makes

her an expert on the matter. Hettie carries elements of

Strauss‟s entire family, but most of all, herself.

As our conversation draws to a close, I ask

Strauss about the difference between her and Hettie.

The most obvious difference is the age difference:

Hettie is in her sixties and Strauss in her twenties. Strauss

is far more liberal and accepting than Hettie… much

less naive.

Where Hettie has a clear goal of changing the

world, Strauss seems to think she‟s wasting her time.

During the cabaret practical we see Hettie twenty

years down the line in her eighties, much more run

down than usual but still doing her etiquette lectures.

She starts with the ABC of etiquette and by the time

she gets to F, she decides to F it all because no one is

listening to her. And for a moment we believe that all

hope is lost, because if even Hettie gives up, then

there must be no hope left.

The moment passes and Hettie continues her

lecture, showing that even in the face of all adversity,

she will not give up. And therefore I‟m willing to bet

that, by definition, neither will her creator.

“I feel offended when

someone comes over

to eat and they don’t

use the correct table

manners.”

MS WICKENS BY CHANTÉ CHARLES

She is our very own doctor Phil except with

less camera drama (not that there is not any)

and much more hair (a LOT more). Many of us

believe that she must have struck a deal with a

tissues company. One can only imagine the

amounts of those she goes through a week. She

is funny, intelligent and humble. She is… Miss

Wickens!

Now when I say the word psychologist,

a pre-formed picture springs up in your mind.

This picture would be of a rounded,

prematurely balding man with thickly rimmed

glasses perched on the end of his nose. That

was what I thought. The first time I sat down in

her office, that picture could not have been

further from the truth. Instead, I was presented

with a beautiful, impossibly young lady who

had the charm and wit one almost never sees.

My first reaction was to survey the room.

When no cameras appeared (definitely not

Phil), I sat back puzzled. This wore off as soon as

she opened her mouth. After talking with her, I

left feeling incredibly lighter. I thought, that was

incredible. Then I thought, am I really that

obvious?

After a few sessions with her, and many

reassurances from people who had seen her

before, I realized that I was not obvious. Miss

Wickens is simply that good. Not only that, but

she brings out the best in everyone. Perhaps

you would better understand this if I shared

some of my experiences with you.

Growing up is never easy. There are curveballs

thrown your way that you never saw coming. In

times such as those, you need someone to turn

to. I, like the masses, ran to our esteemed

school psychologist. Unknowingly, I had made

one of the best decisions of my life. One of the

aspects about her that I adore is that she can

advise you on any given topic. First, there are

the aptitude tests. That may have marked the

beginning of the journey. From there, it

branched out into all different directions.

I never before described myself as funny.

(Too many jokes that received no laughter

taught me that.) The first time Miss Wickens

laughed at something I said, I nearly fell off my

chair. The point is that she aims to not only help

you with your problems, but to make you feel

great about yourself.

Her office may be one of the safest

places in school to simply let go of all the pent

up emotions within you. Sometimes it never

occurred to me that I needed to sit down and

let the tears pour out. When I arrive at her office

after a long day, it roughly takes five minutes

before I am bawling.

I do not think that there has ever been a

session with her that I have not enjoyed. I believe

the most amazing thing about her is that she

makes you feel special. It is as though despite

her being on a completely different level of

maturity, she validates you. What I learnt from

her is something that I would never trade. I can

also never fully describe this to you.

Just like the way that I will never be able

to describe Miss Wickens to you all. There is

something indescribably charming about her.

She made me feel safe, supported and

important to the matters of the world. It never is

cheesy or put upon. Miss Wickens and her

comforting office are among the things that I will

miss most about high school. (I have already

taken steps and swapped numbers. One never

knows when one needs backup… and she is the

best backup).

If you are uncertain about making an

appointment with her, hesitate no further. (For

every session she has booked after this article, I

benefit as well. I probably should not have said

that.)

Her office may be

one of the safest

places in school

to simply let go of

all the pent up

emotions within

you.

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

Ms Wickens is not an easy person to get access

to. Chanté couldn‟t get an appointment with her

before this issue had to be published.

Coincidence? No. Ms Wickens is like a hot New

York restaurant: always fully booked.

In a way I guess it‟s not a bad thing. The

school psychologist should retain that level of

mystique.

She always says she has a thousand-one

hundred- and-however-many-students-PV-has-

at-the-time children. And it‟s true. She really is like

a mother. I for one have run to her in situations of

desperate panic, trying to figure out a polite way

to tell her to “make it all better!” She has

managed to do so every time.

I doubt there will be anyone who will

disagree with me when I say she is the most

important figure to the students in the school. We

will be forever grateful for her guidance.

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