UNGA 67: UK: Third Committee Poem

Thank you Mr Chair for giving me the floor

before everyone runs for the door

When I took on this human rights position

I was handed the mantel of this time honoured tradition

Of reciting a little UK ditty

To mark the end of Third Committee

So as this is my first time

I’d beg indulgence of my little rhyme

They say bad luck comes in three

And what other number for this committee could it be

In 2012 we had fire, wind and snow

But the show must go on, was our motto

Upon hearing the fire drill we were dismayed

To learn the High Commissioner’s dialogue would be delayed

Some delegations only under duress departed

So committed were they to the work they had started

Others of you for the exit may have flee’d

But to name and shame there is no need

For, that we all support human rights we can concur

But alas not on whether it is wherever, whenever or however they may occur

Then second came a tropical storm

Such problems were far from the norm

The hurricane left many IDDs

‘Internally Displaced Delegates’, even me

The Committee banded together as one

With one Canadian even giving shelter to some

And finally just as power to Manhattan returned

By snowy elements we were spurned

These events may have tried to set as back

But delegates found ways to get back on track

I understand the cofacilitaors of Programme 20 thought the answer

Was to promise, as an incentive, a belly dancer

The plenary had many events of note

Poor Guatemala and Guinea nearly couldn’t vote

And to those who must give rights of reply

Everyone did roll their eyes and sigh

It appeared France had taken too literally the title of their text

Or didn’t realize enforced disappearances was next

For when the Chair called on France to introduce

No delegate could they produce

And it would be wrong for this poem not to feature

A mention of Monzer, our rules of procedure teacher

But for this undoubted expertise

The Committee would surely have been on its knees

Then today we decided to carry on without interpretation

So that we might have cessation

But wait (!) for a minute we weren’t sure we’d have fruition

When Stelios said explanation of vote rather than position

After all these trials and tribulations

We certainly all deserve some celebrations

But Mr Chair I know you like to keep to time

So I will end my little rhyme

From all the women and girlchilds, men and boychilds of the UK team

We assure all our 3rd

committee colleagues of our highest esteem

And extend our thanks to the Bureau, Secretary and you, Mr Chair

For conducting us all with such efficiency and flair

Thank you