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Don’t lose your ID card! For many years Icarried the ID card I was issued when Ijoined the faculty of the University ofGuelph. Among other things, it gave methe right to borrow books from the U of GLibrary and it contained a photo of me as athirty-something with a full head of darkhair. Quite splendid, really. Not at all likethe grey-haired geezer that recently handedover the card at the library circulation desk.

Well, I recently lost the card; a factdiscovered when I was in the library aboutto borrow a dusty and probably never-before-borrowed government document.Leaving the document in its place in thebasement, I returned home to scour thehouse looking for the card. At the end ofmy search, I reckoned it had simplydematerialized. There was nothing for itexcept to get a new one.

My first questionwas how to get anew card. I had avague memory ofgoing to theRegistrar’s Office toobtain the original.Was that the startingplace now? Like anyfaculty member withouta clue, I called theExecutive Assistant inmy former department; she seems to knoweverything about everything. But this timeshe did not. She asked the DepartmentChair. He said that I should go to the deskon the left just inside the main entrance tothe library.

Into the library I go. Included in theverbiage on the wall next to this desk, I sawthe words, ‘Card Validation’. Seems to bethe right place. I explained my need but wastold that they don’t issue the cards from thelibrary. Go to Student Services, she said.OK, so maybe that memory fragment aboutthe Registrar’s Office was a valid one.

I arrive on the third floor of the UniversityCentre. The place is virtually empty. It isbetween semesters. For those who have notbeen there in some years, this very openspace is filled with many, many grey

cubicles some of which have small wicketswhere one is to conduct one’s business. I goto the nearest wicket and explain to thewoman behind it what I needed. Shepointed to a grey box on a stand in thecorner and told me to press the buttonmarked, ID Cards. You will get a numberand you must go to wickets 5, 6 or 7 whenyour number is called.

I got my number: B403. I paced up anddown for several minutes. It seems thatwhen my back was turned, my numbercame up on the overhead screen and I didnot see it. But I did hear a voice come overthe partition, “Do you have B403?” Goingover to the wicket, I explained what Ineeded and was told to go to HumanResources on the fifth floor.

To HR I go. Iagain explain myneed to theperson at thereception desk.I am asked forparticulars sothat a formcan be filledin. Thenthere is a

pause, a look ofpuzzlement followed by a request that I go

and sit in one of the chairs off to the left. Ido so. In due course, I am approached by ahigher-level HR professional. She issomeone I know well and with whom I hadpreviously worked. We had the sort of chatthat old friends have and then attentionwas turned to the problem (I never didlearn what it was). After an exchangebetween the reception desk person and theHR professional that I was unable to follow,my former co-worker simply said, “But he isa retiree”. At that point, a check was put inthe box at the bottom of the paper next tothe word, ‘Retiree’. The form was signedand off I went back to Student Services.

Of course, I had to get another numberfrom the grey box although I was still theonly customer on the floor. My new numberwas B404. In due course, I had a new phototaken and the card was issued on the spot.

With my new card, now containing a geezerphoto, I returned to the library, went to thebasement, grabbed the governmentdocument and went to the check out desk.My new card was scanned and thenscanned again. Not valid, I was told. Sigh.You need to go to the desk behind you…theone with the sign that said, “CardValidation”. But of course!

Now I have a shiny new ID card that,unlike the old one, doubles as my ExpressPlus card that enables me to purchase foodon campus.

Bruce Ryan

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