types of relationship

CHAPTER 14ATTACHMENT AND SOCIAL

RELATIONSHIPS

Learning Objectives

• How do relationships with others contribute to development?

• How did Bowlby explain the development of attachment?

• In Bowlby’s model, how do nature and nurture contribute to the development of attachment?

• What is the function of peer relationships in childhood?

Perspectives on Relationships – Attachment Theory

• Attachment theory was formulated by British psychiatrist John Bowlby and elaborated by American developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth– Included concepts from ethological theory and

psychoanalytic theory• Bowlby defined attachment as a strong

affectional tie that binds a person to an intimate companion

• Attachment also is a behavioral system through which humans regulate their emotional distress when under threat and achieve security by seeking proximity to another person


• The ethological concept of imprinting was incorporated into attachment theory– An innate form of learning in which the young will

follow and become attached to a moving object (usually the mother) during a critical period early in life• According to more recent research,

– The “critical” period is more like a “sensitive” period

– Imprinting can be reversed– Imprinting does not happen without the right

interplay of biological and environmental factors


• Both adults and infants have behaviors that promote the formation of attachments– Babies will

• Follow (proximity-seeking behavior)• Suck and cling• Smile and vocalize• Express negative emotions such as fretting

and crying– Adults respond to infants’ signals

• The hormone oxytocin promotes attachment


• Attachment is the product of nature and nurture interacting over time

• Bonding is a more biologically-based process in which parent and infant form a connection in the first hours after birth when a mother is likely to be exhilarated and her newborn highly alert– Klaus and Kennell (1976) highlighted the importance of

early bonding through skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth• Subsequent research has shown that early contact

is not necessary for a secure attachment to form (witness adopted parents and their children) and does not seem to have as much significance for later development as originally believed


• Bowlby proposed that through their interactions with caregivers, infants construct expectations about relationships in the form of internal working models– Cognitive representations of themselves and other

people that guide the processing of social information and behavior in relationships• Securely attached infants who have received

responsive care will form internal working models suggesting that they are lovable and that other people can be trusted to care for them

• Insecurely attached infants subjected to insensitive, neglectful, or abusive care may conclude that they are difficult to love, that other people are unreliable, or both

Perspectives on Relationships – Peers and the Two Worlds of Childhood

• Some theorists believe there are “two social worlds of childhood”– One world involves adult-child relationships– The other involves peer relationships– The two worlds contribute differently to development

• A peer is a social equal, someone who functions at a similar level of behavioral complexity, often someone of similar age– Peer relationships have developmental value

• Peers help children learn that relationships are reciprocal

• Peers force children to hone their social perspective-taking skills

• Peers contribute to social-cognitive and moral development in ways that parents cannot


• NeoFreudian theorist Henry Stack Sullivan believed that social needs change as we get older and are gratified through different kinds of social relationships at different ages– Until about age 6, the parent-child relationship is

central for providing tender care and nurturance– Then peers become increasingly important

• At first, children need playmates• Then they need acceptance by the peer group• Then around age 9 to 12, children begin to

need intimacy in the form of a close friendship


• Sullivan stressed the developmental significance of these chumships, or close childhood friendships– Having a close friend or chum teaches

children to take others’ perspectives, validates and supports children, and can protect them from the otherwise harmful effects of a poor parent-child relationship or rejection by the larger peer group

– Chumships also teach children how to participate in emotionally intimate relationships and can pave the way for romantic relationships during adolescence

Learning Objectives

• In what ways are infants emotional beings?• How are infants’ emotions socialized and

regulated?

The Infant – Early Emotional Development• Researchers have traced the development of primary emotions

– At birth, babies show contentment (by smiling), interest (by staring intently at objects), and distress (by grimacing in response to pain or discomfort)

– By approximately 3 months of age, contentment becomes joy or excitement at the sight of something familiar such as a big smile in response to Mom’s face• Interest becomes surprise, such as when expectations

are violated in games of peek-a-boo• Distress soon evolves into a range of negative emotions,

such as disgust (in response to foul-tasting foods) and sadness

– As early as 4 months, angry expressions appear – As early as 5 months, fear is displayed

The Infant – Early Emotional Development

• The secondary or self-conscious emotions require an awareness of self and begin to emerge around 18 months of age• At 18 months, infants begin to show

embarrassment• Around age 2, when they are able to judge

their behavior against standards of performance, the self-conscious emotions of pride, shame, and guilt emerge– Feel pride if they catch a ball or feel guilty if

they spill milk

• Caption: The emergence of different emotions. Primary emotions emerge in the first six months of life, secondary or self-conscious emotions emerge starting about 18 months to 2 years.


• Primary or basic emotions such as interest and fear seem to be biologically programmed

• These emotions emerge in all normal infants at roughly the same ages and are displayed and interpreted similarly in all cultures

• The timing of their emergence is tied to cognitive maturation

• Basic emotions probably evolved to help our ancestors appraise and respond to new stimuli

• Babies’ emotional signals prompt caregivers to respond

The Infant – Early Emotional Development• Nurture also contributes to emotional

development• Caregivers help shape infants’ predominant

patterns of emotional expression– Mothers serve as models of positive

emotions and elicit positive emotions from their babies

– Mothers also respond selectively to their babies’ expressions: they become increasingly responsive to their babies’ expressions of happiness, interest, and surprise and less responsive to negative emotions


– At approximately 1year, infants begin to use social referencing• They monitor their companions’ emotional reactions in

ambiguous situations and use this information to decide how they should feel and behave

– If their mothers are wary when a stranger approaches, so are they; if their mothers smile at the stranger, so may they

– Infants are able to understand what triggered their mother’s emotions and to regulate their behavior accordingly

– Infants are especially attentive to stimuli that provoke negative emotional reactions such as fear or anger in their caregivers, as if they know that these emotions are warning signals


• Infants must develop strategies for emotional regulation– The processes involved in initiating, maintaining,

and altering emotional responses• Infants develop the capacity for emotional

regulation over time– Very young infants are able to reduce their

negative arousal by turning from unpleasant stimuli or by sucking vigorously on a pacifier

– By the end of the first year, infants can also regulate their emotions by rocking themselves, moving away from upsetting events, or actively seeking attachment figures who will calm them


• By 18 to 24 months, toddlers will try to control the actions of people and objects (for example, by pushing the offending person or object away)

– They are able to cope with the frustration of waiting for snacks and gifts by playing with toys and otherwise distracting themselves

– They have been observed knitting their brows or compressing their lips in an attempt to suppress their anger or sadness

– Finally, as children gain the capacity for symbolic thought and language, they become able to regulate their distress symbolically (for example, by repeating “Mommy coming soon”)


• The development of emotion regulation skills is influenced by both an infant’s temperament and a caregiver’s behavior

• When infants are very young and have few emotion regulation strategies of their own, they rely heavily on caregivers (who can stroke or rock them when they are distressed)

• With age, infants gain control of emotion regulation strategies first learned in the context of the parent-child relationship and can regulate their emotions on their own

• Children who are not able to get a grip on their negative emotions tend to experience stormy relationships with both caregivers and peers and are at risk to develop behavior problems

Learning Objectives

• What types of attachment relationships can develop between infants and caregivers?

• What infant, caregiver, and contextual factors determine the quality of early attachments?

• How do early relationships relate to later development?

• What are the consequences of early social deprivation?

The Infant – An Attachment Forms

• The caregiver forms an attachment to the infant– Often before birth– Because the infant possesses a repertoire of

behaviors such as sucking, grasping, rooting, and smiling

– Because babies are responsive• Caregivers and infants develop

synchronized routines in which they take turns responding to each other

• Parent-infant synchrony contributes to a secure attachment relationship and to later self-regulation and empathy

The Infant – An Attachment Forms• The infant forms an attachment to the caregiver in the following

phases– Undiscriminating social responsiveness (birth to 2 or 3

months)• Infants respond to voices, faces, and other stimuli,

especially humans• They do not yet show a clear preference for any one

person– Discriminating social responsiveness (2 or 3 months to 6 or 7

months)• Infants begin to express preferences for familiar

companions, but they are still friendly toward strangers– Active proximity seeking or true attachment (6 or 7 months to

about 3 years)• Infants form their first clear attachments, most often to

their mothers– Goal-corrected partnership (3 years and older)

• Children adjust their behavior in order to maintain proximity to the attachment figure

The Infant – An Attachment Forms• Infants experience attachment-related fears

– Separation anxiety• Once attached to a parent, a baby often becomes

wary or fretful when separated from that parent • Separation anxiety normally appears when infants

are forming their first genuine attachments, peaks between 14 and 18 months, and gradually becomes less frequent and less intense

– Stranger anxiety• Once attached to a parent, a baby often experiences

a wary or fretful reaction to the approach of an unfamiliar person

• Anxious reactions to strangers become common between 8 and 10 months, continue through the first year, and gradually decline in intensity over the second year

The Infant – An Attachment Forms

• The formation of an attachment to a caregiver facilitates exploratory behavior– The attachment figure serves as a secure

base for exploration• A point of safety from which an infant can

venture and to which she can return for affection and security

The Infant – Quality of Attachment

• Ainsworth and her associates developed the Strange Situation as a procedure for measuring the quality of an attachment– Infants are subjected to eight episodes of

gradually escalating stress as adult strangers approach and as a caregiver departs and returns


• On the basis of an infant’s pattern of behavior during the Strange Situation, the quality of attachment to a parent can be characterized as one of four types– Secure– Resistant– Avoidant– Disorganized-disoriented

The Infant – Quality of Attachment• Secure attachment

– About 60-65% of 1-year-olds in our society are securely attached to their mothers or primary caregivers

– The securely attached infant actively explores the room when alone with his mother because she serves as a secure base

– The infant may be upset by separation but greets his mother warmly and is comforted by her presence when she returns

– When his mother is present, the securely attached child is outgoing with a stranger

The Infant – Quality of Attachment• Resistant attachment (also called anxious/ambivalent

attachment)– About 10% of 1-year-olds show a resistant attachment, an

insecure attachment characterized by anxious, ambivalent reactions

– The resistant infant does not venture off to play even when his mother is present, probably because she is not a secure base for exploration

– Yet this infant becomes distressed when his mother departs, perhaps because he is uncertain whether she will return

– When his mother returns, the infant is ambivalent: he may try to remain near her but seems to resent her for having left, may resist if she tries to make physical contact, and may even hit and kick her in anger

– Resistant infants are also wary of strangers, even when their mothers are present


• Avoidant attachment– Up to 15% of 1-year-olds have avoidant

attachments– They seem uninterested in exploring, show little

apparent distress when separated from their mothers, and avoid contact or seem indifferent when their mothers return

– Insecurely attached infants are not particularly wary of strangers but sometimes avoid or ignore them, much as they avoid or ignore their mothers

– Avoidant infants seem to have distanced themselves from their parents

The Infant – Quality of Attachment• Disorganized-disoriented attachment

– Up to 15% of infants (more in high-risk families) display a disorganized-disoriented form of attachment

– This form of attachment seems to be associated with later emotional problems

– When infants with disorganized-disoriented attachment are reunited with their mothers after a separation, they may act dazed and freeze or lie immobilized on the floor

– Alternatively, they may seek contact but then abruptly move away as their mothers approach them, only to seek contact again

– Infants with a disorganized-disoriented attachment appear to have been unable to devise a consistent strategy for regulating negative emotions such as separation anxiety

The Infant – Quality of Attachment• Early learning theorists believed that an infant

learns positive emotional responses to her mother by associating her with food

• In the classic study conducted by Harry Harlow and Robert Zimmerman (1959), infant monkeys were fed by a wire “mother” or by a cuddly, cloth-covered “mother”– All the infant monkeys demonstrated preference

for the foam rubber and terrycloth “mother,” even when their food came from the wire mother

• Harlow’s research demonstrated that contact comfort is a more powerful contributor to attachment in monkeys than feeding

• Caption: The wire and cloth surrogate “mothers” used in Harlow’s classic research


• Styles of parenting strongly influence the infant attachment styles– Securely attached infants have parents who are

sensitive and responsive to their needs and emotional signals


• Styles of parenting strongly influence the infant attachment styles (continued)– Babies with a resistant pattern of attachment often

have parents who are inconsistent in their caregiving• They may react enthusiastically or indifferently

and are frequently unresponsive• Mothers who are depressed often have

difficulty responding sensitively to their babies’ signals and do not provide the comforting that helps babies regulate their negative emotions


• Styles of parenting strongly influence the infant attachment styles (continued)– Infants with an avoidant attachment have

parents who tend to provide either too little or too much stimulation• The parents may be rejecting or

impatient, unresponsive, and resentful when the infant interferes with their plans

• Some parents may provide intrusive, overzealous levels of stimulation

The Infant – Quality of Attachment• Styles of parenting strongly influence the infant

attachment styles (continued)– The disorganized-disoriented style of

attachment is evident in as many as 80% of infants who have been physically abused or maltreated

– It is common among infants whose mothers are severely depressed or abuse alcohol and drugs

– The parents of infants with a disorganized attachment pattern have been described as frightening and frightened• They are fragile and fearful adults who are

not up to the challenge of caring for an infant and create an unpredictable, scary environment for their babies

The Infant – Quality of Attachment• Infants contribute to the formation of the

attachment relationship, too– Infants must acquire some concept of person

permanence (a form of Piaget’s object permanence concept) before they can form an attachment

– An infant’s temperament influences attachment• Attachments tend to be insecure when

infants are by temperament fearful, irritable, or unresponsive

–The caregiver’s style of parenting and the infant’s temperament often interact to determine the attachment outcome

The Infant – Quality of Attachment• The broader social context affects how infant and

caregiver respond to each other and influences the formation of attachment– Poverty and marital difficulties are stressful,

can interfere with parents’ abilities to provide sensitive care, and may contribute to insecure attachments

– The cultural context also influences parenting and the meanings of attachment• In Western, individualistic cultures, such as

Germany, optimal development means becoming an autonomous being

• In Eastern, collectivist cultures, such as Japan, the goal is to become integrated into the group

The Infant – Implications of Early Attachment

• Some infants experience social deprivation and never have an opportunity to form an attachment– Researchers have found that infants who spent

their first 6 months or more in deprived orphanages displayed eating problems and medical problems and showed delays in physical, cognitive, and social-emotional development• Rapid recovery was evident once the children

were adopted, and some children overcame their developmental problems

• However, many children institutionalized for more than 6 months never achieved normal levels of cognitive development, possibly because they lacked the intellectual stimulation necessary for normal brain development


• Studies of Romanian children who experienced early deprivation showed that the longer the deprivation, the less likely were they to form secure attachments and the more likely they were to show a disturbed pattern of behavior called disinhibited attachment– Involves indiscriminate friendliness, lack of

appropriate wariness of strangers, and difficulty participating in real, reciprocal social interactions


• Research supports Bowlby’s claim that infancy is a sensitive period for the formation of attachments– A meta-analysis of many studies of

institutionalized and otherwise maltreated and neglected children concluded that those who are adopted before one year of age are likely to become as securely attached to their caregivers as nonadopted children, but that high rates of insecure and disturbed attachment are observed in children adopted after their first birthday


• What is it about deprived early environments that damages development? – Lack of stable caregivers and stable

attachment relationships– Lack of proper nutrition, hygiene, and

medical care– Lack of stimulation

• The negative effects of living in a large residential institution can be prevented by placing institutionalized children in small groups with a few, consistent caregivers who interact with the children in a caring manner


• Many infants experience separation from their caregivers– Infants who are permanently separated from a

caregiver normally recover if they are able to maintain or form an attachment with someone else• The earlier the separation takes place, the

better– Children who experience a series of

separations from caregivers (such as children in foster care) may be permanently affected by their repeated experiences of loving and losing people


• More than 60% of mothers in the U.S. work outside the home, and many of their children are in daycare or family care homes

• The best source of evidence about the effects of alternative care upon attachment is the major longitudinal study supported by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) and involving teams of researchers in 10 U.S. cities – the Early Child Care Research Network (ECCRN)


• Results from the NICHD ECCRN study include the following– Infants who experienced routine care by

someone other than their mothers were not much different than infants cared for almost exclusively by their mothers in the various developmental outcomes studied

– Infants who received alternative forms of care (even 20+ hours per week) were no less securely attached to their mothers overall than infants who were tended by their mothers

– Quality of parenting was a much stronger influence on these infants’ attachment security and development than daycare experience


• Results from the NICHD ECCRN study include the following (continued)– Children’s developmental outcomes were

affected by the quality of their daycare, as measured in terms of sensitive caregiving and cognitive and language stimulation• Children who spent a good deal of time in

quality daycare performed better than home-reared children on measures of cognitive and language skills and some measures of social skills

• However, they also tended to display more behavior problems


• Results from the NICHD ECCRN study include the following (continued)– “Quality” daycare is characterized by for a

reasonable child-to-caregiver ratio (up to three infants, four toddlers, or eight preschoolers per adult); caregivers who have been well trained and who are warm and responsive; little staff turnover so that children can become attached to their caregivers; and planned, age-appropriate stimulation activities


• Results from the NICHD ECCRN study include the following (continued)– The home environment interacts with quality of

the daycare environment to influence outcomes• For example, infants fared poorly if their

mothers were insensitive and unresponsive and they were subjected to poor-quality daycare, too

• Infants who received either good parenting or good daycare were usually securely attached


• Do early attachment experiences make a difference later in life?– Securely attached infants turn into preschool

children whom teachers describe as curious, self-directed, and eager to learn

– Insecurely attached children are less independent– Children who had been securely attached as infants

are also more socially competent – more able to initiate play activities, sensitive to the needs and feelings of other children, and popular

– Secure attachment in infancy is linked to positive emotional development and the capacity to cope with stress and regulate emotions in childhood


• Are the effects of attachment in infancy permanent?– Researchers found that children who enjoyed

secure relationships with their parents continue to be well adjusted in late childhood and adolescence

– In a longitudinal study, Simpson and colleagues (2007) linked secure attachment in the Strange Situation at 12 months of age to the quality of a child’s peer relations in elementary school, which in turn predicted quality of friendships in adolescence, which in turn predicted the emotional quality of romantic relationships in early adulthood

• Caption: Simpson et al. (2007) found that relationship quality at each step in development affects relationship quality at the next step


• Are the effects of attachment permanent (continued)?– Affectionate ties to fathers or other family

members can compensate for insecure mother-infant relationships

– Attachment quality changes, and early attachments may have no long-term consequences if they change later – if stressful life events such as divorce and illness convert secure attachments into insecure ones, or if positive life changes make insecure attachments more secure

– Internal working models are subject to revision based on later social experiences

Learning Objectives

• What features characterize peer relations and friendships at different points of the lifespan?

• What different types of play evolve during the first few years of life?

• What are the developmental benefits of play?• What factors contribute to peer acceptance

and popularity, or to peer rejection, during childhood?

The Infant – First Peer Relations

• Infants show an interest in other babies from an early age and show capacities for sharing, cooperation, and sympathy in their first year

• Infants begin to interact with peers in earnest in about the middle of the first year– Smile or babble at their companions,

vocalize, offer toys, and gesture to one another; may share toys nicely or may squabble

– Can relate meaningfully in groups of three

The Infant – First Peer Relations

• By about 18 months, infants are able to engage in simple forms of reciprocal, complementary play with peers– Can adopt and reverse roles in their play: the

toddler who receives a toy may immediately offer a toy in return, or the one who has been the chaser will become the chasee

• Toward the end of the second year, infants have become proficient at turn-taking and reciprocal exchange, especially if they are securely attached to their parents

The Child – Parent-Child Attachments• According to Bowlby (1969), during childhood, parent-child

attachment becomes a goal-corrected partnership– Parent and child accommodate to each other’s needs,

and the child becomes a more sensitive partner and grows more independent of the parent

• Young preschool children want separations to be predictable and controllable– Will negotiate with their parents to make sure that

certain rituals such as the reading of a favorite book occur before bedtime

• During the elementary school years, children continue to perceive their parents as available to them, and turn to them when they really need comfort, but rely on their parents less and less frequently as they get older

The Child – Peer Networks

• In toddlerhood, about 10% of social interactions are with peers

• In middle childhood, about 30% of social interactions are with peers– Research indicates that peer groups

typically contain children of different levels of competence

– Gender segregation – play with same-sex companions – becomes increasingly strong with age

The Child – Play

• Play generally is defined as activities that do not have an obvious or direct purpose or use

• Scholars recognize four types of children’s play– Locomotor play (games of tag or ball)– Object play (stacking blocks, making

crafts)– Social play (mutual imitation or playing

board games)– Pretend play (enacting roles)

The Child – Play

• The years from age 2 to age 5 are called the play years

• Between infancy and age 5, play undergoes two changes– It becomes more social– It becomes more imaginative

The Child – Play

• According to Parten (1932), from age 2 to age 5, play becomes increasingly social and socially skilled

• Parten developed a classification system for the play of preschool children from the least to the most social– Unoccupied play – children stand idly, look around, or

engage in apparently aimless activities such as pacing– Solitary play – children play alone, typically with

objects, and appear to be highly involved in what they are doing

The Child – Play

• Parten’s classification system (continued)– Onlooker play – children watch others play,

take an active interest, perhaps talk with the players, but do not directly participate

– Parallel play – children play next to one another, do much the same thing, but they interact little (for example, two girls might sit near each other in the sandbox but do not talk)

The Child – Play• Parten’s classification system (continued)

– Associative play – children interact by swapping materials, conversing, or following each other’s lead, but they are not united by the same goal (for example, the two girls may share sandbox toys and comment on each other’s sand structures)

– Cooperative play – children join forces to achieve a common goal; they act as a pair or group, dividing their labor and coordinating their activities in a meaningful way (for example, the two girls collaborate to make a sand castle)

The Child –Play Becomes More Imaginative

• The first pretend play occurs around age 1– Play in which one actor, object, or action

symbolizes or stands for another• In the earliest pretend play, the infant

performs actions that symbolize familiar activities such as eating, sleeping, and washing

• Between the ages of 2 and 5, pretend play increases in frequency and in sophistication

The Child –Play Becomes More Imaginative

• Children combine their capacity for social play and their capacity for pretense to create social pretend play– Play in which children cooperate with

caregivers or playmates to enact dramas– Social pretend play requires a good deal of

social competence, including the theory-of-mind or people-reading skills

– Social pretend play is universal– The quality and content of preschoolers’ play

is influenced by their culture (individualistic or collectivist characteristics)

The Child –Play Becomes More Rule-Governed

• After they enter school, children engage less frequently in pretend play

• According to Piaget, when children enter concrete operations around age 6 or 7, they become capable of cooperation to follow the rules of games

• As children enter formal operations at the age of 11 or 12, they have a more flexible concept of rules and recognize that the rules can be changed as long as all the players agree

The Child – Peer Acceptance and Popularity• Researchers study peer-group acceptance

through sociometric techniques– Methods for determining who is liked and who

is disliked in a group– In a sociometric survey, children in a

classroom may be asked to nominate several classmates whom they like and several whom they dislike or to rate all of their classmates in terms of their desirability as companions • Determining who is liked and who is

disliked allows researchers to classify children into categories of social status

The Child – Peer Acceptance and Popularity

• Using sociometric techniques, children may be classified into the following categories of social status– Popular – well liked by most and rarely disliked– Rejected – rarely liked and often disliked– Neglected – neither liked nor disliked (isolated children

who seem to be invisible to their classmates)– Controversial – liked by many but also disliked by

many (the fun-loving child with leadership skills who also bullies peers and starts fights)

– Average – in the middle on both the liked and disliked scales


• Popularity is affected by personal characteristics that a child typically cannot change– Physical attractiveness– Intelligence– Social competence (successful use of

social-cognitive skills in initiating social interactions, responding positively to peers, resolving interpersonal conflicts smoothly)

– Well-regulated emotions


• Rejected children may be characterized by the following– High levels of aggression– Tendency to social isolation, submissiveness,

over-sensitivity to teasing, seen as “easy to push around”

• Neglected children may be characterized as– Having reasonably good social skills– Nonaggressive– Tendency to be shy, withdrawn, and

unassertive


• Controversial children often show good social skills and leadership qualities, like popular children, but they are also viewed as aggressive bullies, like many rejected children


• What are the outcomes of childhood social status? – Children who are neglected by peers often

gain greater acceptance later– Socially withdrawn children whose social

anxiety keeps them from interacting with peers and exposes them to victimization by peers are at risk for a variety of negative outcomes

– Children who are rejected, usually because of aggressive behavior, are likely to maintain their rejected status from grade to grade


• What are the outcomes of childhood social status (continued)? – Rejected children may end up even more

poorly adjusted as a result of the experience of being rejected• Their self-esteem suffers, they lose

opportunities to learn social skills, they develop negative attitudes toward others, they are negatively influenced by the other antisocial children they end up hanging out with, and their academic performance suffers

The Child – Friendships• Friendships have developmental importance for

children– Having friends increases the odds that a child will be

happy and socially competent• If the peers are well adjusted and supportive

– Having friends reduces the odds that a child will be lonely and depressed• But not if the friends are antisocial or depressed

– Chumships pave the way for romantic relationships in adolescence

– Friends provide social support and comfort that can help children weather stressful events such as parents’ divorce

– True friends become attachment figures

Learning Objectives

• How do relationships with peers and parents change during adolescence?

• How do peers and parents influence adolescents’ lives?

The Adolescent – Attachment to Parents

• If adolescents are to become independent, autonomous individuals, they need supportive parents to provide both security and encouragement to explore– A balance of exploration and attachment is

the key to successful development at this age

The Adolescent – Attachment to Parents

• Adolescents who enjoy secure attachment relationships with their parents generally have a stronger sense of identity, higher self-esteem, greater social competence, better emotional adjustment, and fewer behavioral problems than their less securely attached peers

The Adolescent – Friendships• Friendships change qualitatively with age, being

based upon– Enjoyment of common activities in early childhood– Mutual loyalty and caring in late childhood– Intimacy and self-disclosure in adolescence

• Teens form friendships with peers who are similar to themselves– The same ethnic background– Similar psychological qualities (interests, attitudes,

values, and personalities)• In adolescence, friends are like-minded individuals

who confide in each other

The Adolescent – Friendships• In a study of 5th to 11th graders, Sharabany and

colleagues (1981) found that– Same-sex friendships were reported to feature

aspects of intimacy such as spontaneity, trust, loyalty, sensitivity to the other’s feelings, and attachment

– Cross-sex friendships did not attain a high level of intimacy until 11th grade

– These findings support Harry Stack Sullivan’s view that the lessons children learn about intimate attachments in their same-sex chumships are later applied in their heterosexual relationships

The Adolescent – Friendships

• Sharabany and colleagues (1981) found that– Girls tended to report higher degrees of

intimacy in their friendships than boys did

– Girls achieved emotional intimacy in their cross-sex relationships at earlier ages

The Adolescent – Changing Social Networks• Dunphy (1963) described five stages of change in peer-

group structures during adolescence in preparation for dating relationships– In late childhood, boys and girls become members

of same-sex cliques, or small friendship groups, and have little to do with the other sex

– Boy cliques and girl cliques then begin to interact• Same-sex cliques provide a secure base for

romantic relationships (for an adolescent boy, talking to a girl at the mall with his friends and her friends is far less threatening than doing so on his own)

– The most popular boys and girls form a heterosexual clique

The Adolescent – Changing Social Networks• Dunphy (1963) described five stages of change in peer-group

structures during adolescence in preparation for dating relationships (continued)– As less popular peers also form mixed-sex cliques, a new

peer-group structure, the crowd, completes its evolution• The crowd is a collection of several heterosexual

cliques• The crowd is central to arranging organized social

activities, such as parties, and provides opportunities to get to know members of the other sex as friends and as potential romantic partners

– Couples form, and the crowd disintegrates in late high school• The crowd served its purpose of bringing boys and

girls together

The Adolescent – Changing Social Networks• Peers typically do more to foster positive

behavior among teens than to encourage antisocial behavior– But it depends upon the nature of the crowd to

which a teen belongs• Around age 14 or 15, teens are very dependent

upon their peers and may “go along with the crowd” to take risks they might not take when alone

• Troublesome conformity to peers is much less likely among adolescents who have secure attachments to warm, authoritative parents who are neither too strict nor too lax

The Adolescent – Dating• According to Brown (1999), adolescent relationships evolve through

four phases– Initiation phase – in early adolescence, the focus is on the self

• To see oneself as a person capable of relating to members of the other sex in a romantic way

– Status phase – in mid-adolescence, having a romantic relationship with the “right kind” of partner is important for the status it brings in the larger peer group

– Affection phase – in late adolescence, the focus is on the relationship• Romantic relationships become more personal, caring

relationships– Bonding phase – in the transition to early adulthood, the

emotional intimacy achieved in the affection phase is connected to a long-term commitment to create a lasting attachment bond

The Adolescent – Dating• How does dating affect adolescent adjustment and development?

– Dating typically has more positive than negative effects on development• It can compensate for a poor relationship with parents• Involvement in a steady relationship is good for self-

esteem (although breakups hurt self-esteem and can lead to depression)

• Adolescents who date tend to be better adjusted overall than those who do not

– However, dating at an early age appears to have more negative than positive effects on social and emotional adjustment• Troubled adolescents start dating early• Early daters get hurt and/or become involved in problem

behavior such as drinking and drug use before their time

Learning Objectives

• How do social networks and friendships change during adulthood?

• How do these connections affect adult development?

• How do early attachment styles relate to romantic relationships?

The Adult – Social Networks

• Researchers have proposed that each of us has a social convoy – a social network and support system that accompanies us during our life– Provides social support in the form of aid,

affection, and affirmation– In the beginning, our convoy consists of our

parents– The convoy expands over the years as others

(family, partners, colleagues) join it but then typically shrinks in later life

The Adult – Social Networks• Social interaction patterns vary across adulthood

– Young adults form romantic relationships and friendships• Young women form closer friendship ties than men

do• Young adults, especially single ones, tend to have

more friends than middle-aged and older adults do – Throughout adulthood, social networks shrink

• The trend toward smaller social networks with age can be seen in many ethnic groups

– From early adulthood on, African-American adults’ networks tend to be smaller, to be more dominated by kin, and to involve more frequent contact than those of European Americans


• Older adults are satisfied with their relationships– Two theoretical explanations

• Socioemotional selectivity

• Positvity effect

The Adult – Social Networks• According to Carstensen (1992), the shrinking social

convoy of adulthood is explained by socioemotional selectivity theory– A choice older adults make to better meet their

emotional needs once they perceive the time left to them as short

– The perception that one has little time left to live prompts older adults to put less emphasis on the goal of acquiring knowledge for future use and more emphasis on the goal of fulfilling current emotional needs• Consequently, older adults actively choose to

narrow their range of social partners to those who bring them emotional pleasure, usually family members and close friends, and they let other social relationships fall by the wayside


• According to research, older adults lead rich and rewarding emotional lives and are able to experience and express their emotions fully and regulate them effectively

• Older adults’ achievement of their emotional gratification goals may be explained an element of information processing, the positivity effect– Paying more attention to, better remembering,

and putting more priority on positive information than on negative information

The Adult – Romantic Relationships

• Explanations for mate selection– Evolutionary theorists suggest that men are

more likely than women to emphasize physical attractiveness in a partner, whereas women put more emphasis then men on a potential mate’s resources and social status• Attractiveness may have signaled our

ancestors that a woman is healthy and able to reproduce and raise children

• Signs of wealth, dominance, and status in the community may signal that a man can support and protect a wife and children

The Adult – Romantic Relationships• Explanations for mate selection (continued)

– Filter theories suggest that mate selection is a process in which we progress through a series of filters leading us from all possible partners to one partner in particular• Early in an acquaintance, similarities in physical

appearance, race, education, socioeconomic status, religion, and the like serve as the first filters and provides a basis for dating

• At the next level of filter, partners may disclose more about themselves and look for similarity in inner qualities such as values, attitudes, beliefs, and personality traits

• If they continue to find themselves compatible, their relationship may survive; if not, it may end

– However, scholars do not agree on how many filters there might be in mate selection

– Also, mate selection does not appear to unfold in a stagelike manner as filter theories suggest

The Adult – Romantic Relationships• Explanations for mate selection (continued)

– According to researchers, the greatest influence on mate selection is homogamy, or similarity• Once homogamy is assured, people may also

prefer partners who complement them in some way, bringing strengths to the relationship that compensate for their own weaknesses

• The saying “birds of a feather flock together” has far more validity than the saying “opposites attract” when it comes to mate selection

• Partner choice works similarly in gay and lesbian relationships as in heterosexual relationships


• Sternberg (1988, 2006) developed the triangular theory of love to explain different types of love based upon the strength of the three components of passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment

• Passion – sexual attraction, romantic feelings, and excitement

• Intimacy – feelings of warmth, caring, closeness, trust, and respect in the relationship

• Decision/commitment – involves first deciding that one loves the other person and then committing to a long-term relationship


• Types of love can result depending on whether each of the three dimensions of love are high or low (love can take a variety of forms)– Consummate love – high levels of passion,

intimacy, and decision/commitment– Companionate love – high intimacy and

commitment but not much passion • Sternberg’s work suggests that relationships are

likely to fare best if partners have similar balances of passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment

• Caption: The three components of love in Sternberg’s triarchic theory of love

• Caption: Internal working models of self and other people arising from early experiences in relationships

The Adult – Attachment Styles• Researchers have used attachment theory and the concept of

the internal working model of relationships to examine adult romantic relationships– Four attachment styles may result, according to whether the

self is either positive or negative and the view of other people is either positive or negative• Secure• Preoccupied• Dismissing• Fearful

– Attachment styles can also be described in terms of two dimensions• Anxiety – extent of concern about the availability and

responsiveness of partners• Avoidance – extent of discomfort being intimate with and

depending on a partner

The Adult – Attachment Styles

• Adults with a secure working model feel good about both themselves and others– They are not afraid of entering intimate

relationships or of being abandoned once they do

• People with a preoccupied internal working model have a positive view of other people but feel unlovable


• Adults with a dismissing style of attachment have a positive view of self but do not trust other people and dismiss the importance of close relationships

• Adults with a fearful internal working model resemble infants with a disorganized-disoriented attachment– They take a dim view of both themselves

and others and display a confusing, unpredictable mix of neediness and fear of closeness


• Hazan and Shaver (1987) demonstrated that adults’ styles of attachment are related to the quality of their romantic relationships– Adults with a secure attachment style

experienced a good deal of trust and many positive emotions in their current love relationships, and their relationships tended to last longer than those of adults with insecure attachment styles

– Avoidant lovers feared intimacy– Resistant individuals tended to be obsessed

with their partners


• According to research studies, internal working models of self and other formed on the basis of parent-child interactions affect the quality of later relationships– Adults who had experienced sensitive maternal care in

infancy had more positive mental representations of their romantic relationships than did other adults

– The quality of the parent-child attachment, especially after infancy, predicted the quality of an adult’s romantic relationship

– A secure attachment at 1 year of age was linked, in turn, to social competence in childhood, close friendships in adolescence, and an emotionally positive romantic relationship in early adulthood

The Adult – Attachment Styles• Researchers find that adults’ internal working models also

can predict the quality of relationships– The internal working model predicts the extent to which

adults have the confidence and curiosity to explore and master their environments• A secure attachment style in adulthood is

associated with strong achievement motivation and a focus on mastering challenges as opposed to avoiding failure

• Securely attached adults also enjoy their work and are good at it

• Internal working models also affect an adult’s capacity for caregiving, particularly for being a sensitive and responsive parent


• Researchers find that adults’ internal working models also can predict the quality of relationships (continued)– Attachment styles have been shown to have a

bearing on adjustment in old age• Older adults who recall loving relationships with

their parents during childhood tend to have better physical and mental health than those who recall unsupportive relationships

• Attachment styles affect how older adults (and people of any age) react to loss of an attachment figure; bereaved people with a secure attachment style appear to fare best

The Adult – Friendships

• The quality and nature of friendships varies across adulthood– Young adults typically have more friends than

older adults do– Even very old adults usually have one or more

close friends and are in frequent contact with their friends

– Men and women generally have similar expectations of friends, but women tend to place greater emphasis on these intimate relationships

– Friendships can become strained as older adults begin to develop significant health problems and disabilities


• The quality and nature of friendships varies across adulthood (continued)– In late life, significant health problems and

disabilities can result in one friend needing help more than the other

• Equity, the balance of contributions and gains, is an important influence upon satisfaction in relationships– A person who receives more than he gives is

likely to feel guilty– A person who gives a great deal and receives

little in return may feel angry or resentful

The Adult – Friendships• Consistent with equity theory, involvement in

relationships in which the balance of emotional support given and received is unequal is associated with lower emotional well-being and more symptoms of depression than involvement in more balanced relationships

• Overbenefited, or dependent, friends are often more distressed than underbenefited, or support-giving, friends

• Being able to help other people, or at least to reciprocate help, tends to boost the self-esteem and reduce the depressive symptoms of elderly adults


• Men who have a strong desire to be independent react especially negatively to receiving help

• Older adults usually call on family before friends when they need substantial help

• Friends and family do best to provide help unobtrusively in order to minimize the development of the sense of inequity

The Adult – Adult Relationships and Adult Development

• Meaningful social relationships foster normal cognitive, social, and emotional development in adulthood

• A person’s sense of well-being or life satisfaction is affected by the quality – rather than the quantity – of her social relationships

• Perceived social support is more important than the social support actually received

• The size of an adult’s social network is not nearly as important as whether it includes at least one confidant– A spouse, relative, or friend to whom the individual

feels especially attached and with whom thoughts and feelings can be shared

The Adult – Adult Relationships and Adult Development

• Meaningful social relationships (continued)– Social support, especially from family members,

has positive effects on the cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems, improves the body’s ability to cope with stress and illness, and contributes to better physical and cognitive functioning and a longer life, especially in old age

– Research by Cacioppo and others (2008) concluded that humans have evolved to be with other people and that isolation and loneliness wear the body down, affecting genes, stress hormones, and the brain in ways that speed the aging process

types of relationship

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