trategic negotiation for the modern human … 316 - t08 - a. cabelly.pdfshrm-scp, sphr strategic...

Alan Cabelly, Ph. D., SHRM-SCP, SPHR

STRATEGIC NEGOTIATION FOR THE MODERN HUMAN

RESOURCE EXECUTIVE

80th Annual NHRMA Conference Tacoma, Sept. 6, 2018

[email protected] 503-250-3758

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PORTLAND LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE

NOURISH THE LEADER WITHIN YOU d www.portlandleadershipinstitute.com d



If they ask for 10, they mean …. and want …. So, it's worth …. Offer ….

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Starting out

Introduction

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WHO’S RIGHT?

Introduction

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Both read the same bible and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other.

Lincoln's Second Inaugural Address, March 4, 1865

The prayers of both could not be answered;

that of neither has been answered fully.

Introduction

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Today’s Goals

¨  Perceptions: What is your kaleidoscopic vision ¨  Personal Style

v What is your style, and how does it interact with “your opponent’s” perspective and style?

¨  Negotiation: Pushy, or a Pushover? v Rational v Illogic

¨  Relationships ¨  Strategic Goals ¨  How do you get what you want? ¨  Have Fun!

Introduction

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My Perceptions

I attribute my own conciliatory behavior to being truly a nice person; the other person is a manipulator. I attribute my own quarrelsome behavior to situation causes: a bad mood, constraints over which I have no control; we attribute the other person’s similar behavior to them being a difficult person.

Perceptions

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My Attributions

US THEM DESERVE WHAT WE GET FREE RIDER

STRATEGIC OPPORTUNISTIC

SEE THE BIG PICTURE NARROW VISION

ACT IN THE ORGANIZATION’S OUT FOR THEMSELVES BEST INTERESTS

LONG TERM PERSPECTIVE SHORT TERM THINKER

REASONABLE STUBBORN EASY TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT

Perceptions

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Connect the dots

Pen/pencil cannot leave the paper

Four straight lines Think outside the box

Perceptions

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DiSC® Model of Individual Styles

Questioning Logic Focused

Objective Skeptical

Challenging

Accepting People Focused

Empathizing Receptive Agreeable

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DRIVE

Demanding Doers and

Fixers i

ENCOURAGE

Energizers and Schmoozers

S

SMOOTH

Stabilizers and Supporters

C

OBJECTIVE

Cautious Analyzers

Active Fast Paced Assertive Dynamic

Bold

Thoughtful Moderate Paced

Calm Methodical

Careful

Relationships

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PUSH THE ACTION Goal: Victory

q Plan action q Offer bargains q Propose rewards and

incentives q Searches for results

Creative Schmoozer Goal: Acknowledgement

q Breaks tension with humor q Provides imagination q Finds creative solutions q Look to the future

ANALYZE Goal: Justice

q Factual q Analyzes the details q Organizes the entire situation q Weighs pros and cons

SMOOTH Goal: Harmony

q Provides warmth q Focuses on process q Creates positive relationships/

group process q Empathy

D S i

C

Tends to: ASSERT

Tends to: SUPPRESS

Focus on: LOGIC

Focus on: FEELINGS

Styles in Negotiation: What You Do (action) ✔✔✔

Relationships

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Styles in Negotiation: What You Do (action) ✗✗✗

DEMAND Goal: Victory

q Becomes aggressive and autocratic

q Creates win/lose outcomes q Refuses to bend q Overpowers with force

EXPRESS Goal: Acknowledgement

q Wants to be heard q Glosses over tension initially q Verbalizes feelings

impulsively q Personally attacks

WITHDRAW Goal: Justice

q Becomes defensive q Strategizes in controlled fashion q Resists passive-aggressively q Overpowers with logic and facts

COMPLY Goal: Harmony

q Avoids aggression q Tries to save relationships q Accommodates or gives in q Simmers beneath the surface

D S i

C

Tends to: ASSERT

Tends to: SUPPRESS

Focus on: LOGIC

Focus on: FEELINGS

Relationships

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RATIONALITY? Are You LOGICAL?

Rational Behavior?

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Pushy…..or a Pushover

Openings: Neutral conversation v Small talk: tea, donuts v Process, connection,

ground rules v Build rapport and trust

Be firm, but professional v State and hold your

ground v Forget the combat

Building Relationships

Relationships

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Pushy…..or a Pushover

Building Relationships Curiosity/Empathy v Ask “why” questions v New perspectives

create opportunities for collaboration

Collaboration v Your approach: joint

problem solving v Use “we,” not “I” v Shift from confrontation

to collaboration v Reframe sticking points

as joint hurdles

Relationships

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So What? What Do You Do?

¨ Avoid the same methods. Einstein: v We cannot solve our problems using the

same kind of thinking we used to create them.

v No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.

Strategy

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Strategic thoughts before you begin

¨  Be prepared; don’t get caught unsure!!!! ¨  Understand the deal ¨  IF YOU ARE CLEAR about the situation,

you make the first move ¨  If you are not clear (do not understand the

facts or situation), let the other move first and then counter intelligently

¨  Be prepared to walk away; know your BATNA!

Strategy

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Remember your strategy, but…..

¨ Get a degree from the Mike Tyson school of planning

¨ Everyone has a plan

until he gets hit

Strategy

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Increase Your Effectiveness by Doing This

Dominance Watchword: Patience

q Tone down directness q Seek alternative solutions q Work on body language to

appear more approachable

Influence Watchword: Listen

q Slow down q Eliminate the joking q Get organized and focused q Detail detail detail

Conscientiousness Watchword: Openness

q Accept differences q Laugh about it (whatever IT is) q Warm communications q Small talk/relationships are impt.

Steadiness Watchword: Assert

q Be direct q Learn to cope with change q Forget the guilt; don’t carry

everyone’s burdens/problems

D S i

C

Tends to: ASSERT

Tends to: SUPPRESS

Focus on: LOGIC

Focus on: FEELINGS

Relationships

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Conclusions

¨  Focus on your strategy v Goals, methods,

preparation ¨  You and me

v Who are we? v Can we collaborate?

¨  Get out of your own way

¨  Opening gambits ¨  Develop alternatives

Action

¨  Identify and manage your anxiety and stress

¨  Adapt your style for the circumstances

¨  Assert yourself: POWER ¨  Search for creative

solutions ¨  Anticipate moves ¨  Defuse angry people ¨  Close the deal ¨  Remember Mike Tyson

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What Do You Do?

¨  Getting to Yes; Getting Past No. Fisher and Ury ¨  A Whole New Mind. Dan Pink ¨  Are You Smarter Than You Think? Claire Gordon ¨  Who Are You? 101 Ways of Seeing Yourself.

Malcolm Godwin

Read

Watch TV ¨  American Pickers ¨  Pawn Stars ¨  (Auction Kings)

Action

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What Do You Do?

Challenge Your Mind ¨ Sudoku ¨ Crosswords

¨ Be curious ¨ Go to Snopes.com

Action

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What Do You Do?

Do Something Different ¨  Go without lists for an entire week

-----or----- ¨  Use a list every day

¨  Go out to eat without reservations -----or-----

¨  Eat the same meal three nights in a row

¨  Walk in the park and just listen, smell and see -----or-----

¨  Take the bird and flower books with you

-?-?-and-?-?-

Action

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Alan Cabelly, Ph. D., SHRM-SCP, SPHR Professor Emeritus, Portland State University Executive Director, Portland Leadership Institute

Nationally and Internationally Recognized Speaker, Teacher, Consultant

Recipient, First Annual SHRM Advisor Impact Award ¨  Strategic Negotiation and Conflict Resolution ¨  Brains and Generations ¨  Authentic Leadership for the 21st Century ¨  Improving Working Relationships: Responding to

Generational Differences in the Workplace ¨  Leadership: Focus and Getting “Unstuck” ¨  Teambuilding with the DiSC® ¨  Workplace Balance and Your �Juggling Act�

[email protected] 503/250-3758

trategic negotiation for the modern human … 316 - t08 - a. cabelly.pdfshrm-scp, sphr strategic...

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