Transition to Parenthood

Chapter 11

Duvall’s Family Development Model (1957)

Assumed that all families go through similar stages: Married couple w/o children Childbearing families Families w/ preschool children Families with school children Families with teenagers Families that are launching Empty nest families Aging families

Becoming a parent The number of births in the U.S.

increased from 4.2 million in 1990 to more than 4.3 million in 2007 (Hamilton et al., 2009).

The crude birth rate or the number of childbirths per 1,000 women, per year. In 2007, the crude birth rate in the U.S.

was 14.2 (per 1,000 women) (National Vital Statistics Report, 2008).

Fertility rate for teen mothers, 15-19 years old

26.2

114.8

75.887.2 82.3

116.6

0

20

40

60

80

100

120

140

White Black NativeAmerican

Hispanic Asian Hmong

Source: Lao Family Community of Minnesota, Inc. & Laurie Meschke with funding by Maternal and Child Health Bureau of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2002-2003

Decision to parent or not A man and woman who become parents enter a new

phase of their lives. More than marriage, parenthood signifies adulthood—the final, irreversible end of youthful roles.

A person can become an ex-spouse but never an ex-parent. The irrevocable nature of parenthood makes the first-time parent doubtful and apprehensive; yet people have few ways of preparing for parenting. Parenthood has to be learned experientially.

What are some of the motivations for parenthood?

Personal identity Meaning and purpose in life Satisfaction that is lacking in jobs Exercise authority and influence

lacking at work

Some benefits and costs of having children

Benefits Happiness and joy A sense of fulfillment Rite of passage: feeling incomplete

without children

Some benefits and costs of having children Direct costs

Mean cost of raising a child born in 2001 to age 18 is about 231,000 for middle-income families (Lino, 2002).

Clothes, diapers, hospital expenses, etc. Middle-income families (mean earning

= $61,000/yr) spend about 21% of their earnings on a child yearly from birth to age 17 (Lino, 2008).

Some benefits and costs of having children

Direct costs Child-rearing costs

If a child is disabled or chronically ill If one parent loses his or her job

Emotional costs Experience anxiety and fatigue

Interpersonal relational costs Marital relationship dissatisfaction

Opportunity costs What parents forgo when rearing children?

“Mommy tax:” Unpaid work at home doesn’t count toward Social Security pensions

Forgo educational opportunities Economic Realities of a New Baby:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iax1ukC2Lu0&feature=related

Estimate cost of raising children

38%

18%

12%

13%

7%

4%

Weekly child care costs in Minnesota, 2011Metro Centers Family Child Care

Infant 293.22 167.60

Toddler 248.38 157.67

Preschool 219.92 149.08

School-age 192.60 132.47

Average salary for social services jobs in the U.S. Social workers that specialize in

children, families, and schools make an average $40,210/year.

Recreation and fitness worker at around $32,000/year.

Sports coach at $28,000/year. School counselor at $52,000/year

Source: U.S. News at http://money.usnews.com/careers/best-jobs/social-worker/salary

USDA Cost of Raising a Child Calculator http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/calculatorintro.htm With USDA’s Cost of Raising a Child

Calculator, you can estimate how much it will annually cost to raise a child. This may help you plan better for overall expenses including food, or to purchase adequate life insurance.

The amount of money you spend depends on how many children you have, the age of the children, your marital status, where you live, and your household income.

In-Class Activity #9Case Study: Joan and Tom are married and live in St. Paul in a two bedroom

apartment (rent = $1,000/month) with their three year old daughter, Sabrina. Joan works as an educational assistant with the St. Paul Public Schools with a salary of $25,000/year and Tom works as a recreational and fitness worker at a local YMCA with a salary of $32,000/year. Since both of them are working during the day, Sabrina is being cared for by a local daycare center full-time. Two months ago, they just found out that they will have their second child since Joan is 3 month pregnant. Now, they are contemplating whether to buy a house and move out or stay in the same apartment.

Based on what you know about their financial situation, do the following:

Calculate this family’s budget (use handout as a guide) Based on your calculation(s), should Joan and Tom look for a

house? Why or why not? Can they afford to live in the suburb?

Studies show… Should your partner agree?

Planners Couples who actively discuss the issue and have jointly

decided to conceive a child. They are typically jubilant about becoming pregnant.

Acceptance-of-fate Pleasantly surprised and quietly welcoming of a child even

though they have not planned for the pregnancy. Ambivalent couples

Have mixed feelings before and after conception and even well into the pregnancy.

Yes-no couples One partner may not want children, even late in the

pregnancy. Sometimes the wife decides to go ahead with the pregnancy

regardless of what her husband thinks.

Cowan & Cowan, 2000, cited in Benokraitis, 2011, p. 292.

Video: Welcome Parenthood http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

WE9QJV9NeGk Discussion questions

1. How would you classify the couple’s reactions to the pregnancy in this video based on Cowan and Cowan’s (2000) typologies? (Planners, acceptance-of-fate, ambivalent couples, and yes-no couples; text, p. 292)

2. What are they afraid of and how will the child impact their future relationship?

3. In your opinion, does the couple ready to have this child? If yes, why? If no, what would you suggest they do next?

Effects of children on couple’s relationships: Stable couples

Couple has already developed a strong relationship prior to the birth of a child.

Couple are open in their communication.

Couple has agreed on family planning. Couple has to have a strong desire for a

child. Father’s emotional and physical

support.

Recent longitudinal study 293 couples participated in the study:

Time 1 – during the second or third trimester of their first pregnancy

Time 2 - 6 months postpartum Time 3 - 15 months postpartum Time 4 - 4 years postpartum

Measures Conflict frequency and relationship quality

Results More frequent conflict during pregnancy was related to lower levels of

relationship quality across the transition to parenthood. Lower levels of relationship quality during pregnancy were associated

with more reported conflict over the same period of time (Kluwer & Johnson, 2007, p. 1101).

Kluwer & Johnson (2007). Journal of Marriage and Family, 69(5), 1089-1106.

Marital Quality and Conflict Across the Transition to Parenthood in African American and White Couples

373 newlywed couples (199 African American couples, 174 White couples) in their first year of marriage.

Thirty-eight White couples and 27 African American couples made the transition to parenthood between Years 1 and 3, and 75 White couples and 31 African American couples were childless at Year 3.

Results for both White and African American spouses: In Year 1 spouses who would become parents were happier than

those who would remain childless. By Year 3, there was no longer a significant difference in happiness,

attributable largely to the decline in the happiness of new parents. Women in the two groups (would become parents and childless) did

not differ in marital tension in Year 1, but after the transition to parenthood, new mothers reported significantly higher marital tension than childless women, fathers, and childless men. Men who made the transition to parenthood did not differ from childless men in either Year 1 or Year 3. Susan E. Crohan (1996). Journal of Marriage and Family, 58(4), 933-944.

Effects of children on couple’s relationships

Establish parenthood as a causal agent Which marital behavior pattern (e.g.,

division of labor, leisure and companionship, or socioemotional behavior) is affected by the transition to parenthood?

What factors do you need to take into consideration when contemplating a family for yourself?

Marital Behavior Patterns Associated with the Transition to Parenthood

Division of Labor The transition to parenthood leads to a

significant expansion of instrumental activities around the house for wives.

Child care tasks became the dominant task for wives.

Number of hours devote to work and household tasks does not change for husbands.

Does Parenthood Negatively Influence spouses’ Evaluation of Marital Quality?

Division of Labor What do we know about wives?

There is no relationship between the decreased satisfaction with the division of household labor and the decline in marital satisfaction (their love for their husbands).

What do we know about husbands? The more they involved in household tasks, the more

they feel that the tasks are distributed unfairly. The more they think about this unfair household task

distribution, the less satisfied they are to their marriages.

Marital Behavior Patterns Associated with the Transition to Parenthood

Leisure and Companionship The total amount of time spend in leisure

activities does not change but the type of leisure activities spouses enjoy changes dramatically.

The amount of time spouses spend together as a couple engaged in leisure activities (without their child or together) decreases drastically once they become parents (Fig. 5.4)

Most of the leisure time they have together is spent with their new baby.

Leisure and Companionship

Wives Time spends doing

instrumental activities in the home.

Spend more time in preferred leisure activities & more time in these activities apart from their spouses.

More leisure activities with kin and children.

Husbands Have limited

opportunities to engage in preferred leisure activities.

Spend less time in preferred leisure activities & less time in leisure activities apart from their spouses.

Less leisure activities with friends (b/c have to involve the child)

Marital Behavior Patterns Associated with the Transition to Parenthood

Socioemotional Behavior Even though parents become more involved in child-

care responsibilities and are restricted to certain types of leisure activities, the amount of affection they express in their marriages remains constant compared to nonparent couples.

How do parent couples maintain their quality marital relationships?

Shifting their lifestyle toward a working partnership Wives focus more on the child Husbands sacrifice their preferred leisure activities

Parents in Modern America Social context of parenthood in modern

America Parents face a myriad of questions and

dilemmas that parents in the past wouldn’t have imagined

Can I trust my child’s babysitter? How much fast food is too much? Should I believe the teacher who says my child

needs medication? Should I homeschool my child?

Class Discussion Now, do you think you’re ready to

have a child? What will you need and/or what

must you have before having a child?

Any lessons learned?