transaction analsyiss unit 11 lecture

8/7/2019 Transaction analsyiss Unit 11 lecture

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Building Communicationskills using TA

Lecture 1. Unit II

DEI University


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Objective of Lecture

1. Understand what is TA and its link with

communication effectiveness .

2. Understand how our communication depends

upon ourinherent ego styles which we acquireduring our primitive growth stage.

3. Use the ego styles in way that leads to effective

communication at work place and personal

relationships4. Understand how communication styles are linked

to our TA profile .


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Learning's at theend of the lecture

1. What is transaction analysis & different ego stylesthat constitute the communication transaction.

2. What are different ego styles that get used incommunicating with people.

3. How our communication style is depended upon

the dominant ego in the transactions.4. Effective communication involves mix of three

ego styles of personality of individual.

5. TA link with assertiveness , passiveness andaggressiveness in communication

6. How does one communicate by judicious use ofego styles for building relationship , getting workdone , influencing others .


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What is communication

Communication :Transference of message

from one person to other and many other

persons with some purpose thru verbal or

non verbal means .

Gossip : ??? (without purpose )

Different kinds of communication ;With purpose


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Kinds of communications

1. Social communication

Focus is on relationships

2. Academic Communication

Focus is learning

3. Cultural Communication

Focus is on entertainment

4. Religious communication

Focus is on getting peace

5. Business Communication

Focus is getting desired behavioral outcome


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1. Concept of communication in

Business (organizational perspective ) As soon as you move one step from the bottom , your

effectiveness depends on your ability to reach

others ( for getting desired outcome ) through the

spoken or written word.And farther awayyour job isfrom manual work , the larger the organization , the

more important it will be that you know how to convey

your thoughts in writing and speaking ( without the need

for clarifications ) . In large organizations , the ability to

express himself ( verbal or written ) is perhaps the mostimportant skills a person can possess

(Peter Drucker.)


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Business Communication( Individual perspective )

Communication is the most important skill in

almost any job.How you communicate your

achievements to others is reflection ofyour

quality of work.Sure , you must know how todo the job to accomplish great results but that

only a portion of the professional success .Good

communication skills are required to report your

results to others , persuade colleagues to takeaction , and sell your success in Management .

( Don Zatyko )


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Communication :Transaction

A set of transactions ( in the form of ego

styles ) constitute a message .

Ability of managers to understand the

messages in terms of ego styles and frame

their replies in the desired style is key to

success in Business world.


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1.1 What is transaction analysis & different

ego styles.

Transaction is just a simple message thatgoes out from individuals in the form ofwords / body responses (ego styles) when

receiving or responding to others . A simple message may contain one of two

transactions at a time . Please dont come to me house today ( in simple

tone may be only one transaction ) Please dont come to my today ( with aggressive

tone or anger ) may have two transactions.


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Transaction is nothingbut

Signals that our verbal and non verbal

communication sends to other person .

The signals we normallysend depends on

previously stored responses in our mind .

The stored responses are called ego styles .

The other person decodes the signals based

on his stored responses ( ego styles ) andresponds .


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EMOTIONAL

MIIND

1.Parent

2.Child

RATIONAL

MIND

3. Adult

Two sides of mind contain three kinds of ego stayles


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The signal (input) received by a person is processedby the unique processor in the mind, which processesthe information based on available store of past

learning's & experiences, and then accordingly itresponds.

It is necessary for the individual to understand thespecifications of the processor so that he/she knowshis/her strengths and limitations.

Such self awareness helps in responding to situationswith careful thought.

How is TA linked to Communication skills?


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TA is model for explaining why and howof People think like they do

People act like they do

People communicate and interact with others

Based on work done by Eric Berne ;Games people play

Tom Harries : I am ok you are ok

Born to win : Dorothy Jongeword

Transaction Analysis


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Definition: A system for analyzing all personal and interpersonalcommunication behaviors and transactions .

People communicate from their Ego states

Three distinct part of personality called Ego states that are presentin every individual. Individual exhibits one or the other ego statewhile communicating with others.

Ego states are known as:

Parent Ego state

Adult Ego state Child Ego state

Transaction Analysis


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Parent : This is a set of feelings, thinking andbehavior that we have copied from our parents andsignificant others. One gives judgment based onhis experience /recordings

Adult : Uses information and data for decisionmaking. Updates the information available from oldexperiences

Child : Uses the information / experience available

in mind about what his father said or learnt in aschool or from a society

What is PAC?


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Parent

Child

Adult

MindRecords eventsas one sees,

observes & feelsas a child

Records how the parents & otherinfluential people behave and act

As one grows learningThrough exploration, booksetc & updating the stored

data

We act, feel or think like thosewho raised us

We behave or feel as we did whenwe were small child

We examine facts/or get facts & analyze

What is a Mental Processor?


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Parent ego state contains

Thoughts , feelings ,Beliefs , traditions being

subjected to or copied from parents .

Should not , or should

Prejudicial views :religion , Traditions

Nurturing views :Care and concern, love ,

affection ( you are ok )

Critical views : Blame , criticism , firing,Controlling others .( you are not ok )


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Adult ego state

Thoughts , feelings based on

objective analysis and data

Makes decisions based on logicand analysis and reasoning and

not emotions or traditions

( I am ok and you are ok )


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Child ego state

Thoughts feelings , attitudes based on child

like emotions , impulses we have

experienced

Examples Happy , pleasure seeking

Angry , fearful

Rebellious and reacting

Curious

Eager to please and follow what is told

(I am ok or I am not ok)


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Parent : Two predominant styles

1. Nurturing

2. Controlling

Adult : Only one style :Rational and data based

Child : Two

1. Free & Natural

2. Adapted or Aggressive or destructive child

Further division ofEGO States


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People interact with their EGO STATES: The interactionbecomes complimentary or cross depending upon how one

responds .

P P

A A

C C

1.2 Ego styles that Communicate

Person A Person B


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EGO STATES: Complimentary

P P

A A

C C

Two Ego styles that Communicate

What is the time ?

It is 2.15 pm

India is one of the worst cities

I totally agree with you ( Child comes from giving respect .he may not disagree although his view

are different. In traditional culture , it is normally expected to respect the elders)


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EGO STATES: Cross

P P

A A

C C

Two Ego styles that Communicate

X=India is one of the worst cities

Y= I am not sure if one can

reach such judgment. Pl

give me data to support

your views

In this situation , X having predominant parent style feels person Y is not

showing respect as he is asking questions.


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EGO STATES: Cross

P P

A A

C C

Ego styles that Crossed

HusbandWhere is my watch (while

Going to office in the morning in a hurry

Wife ;search it yourself

than onlyyou would learn to keep

it carefully

Wife Husband

CHILD ego style ; I wd just search it for you PARENT (NURTURANT) ego style ; dontWORRY

I would help you out

Parent (controlling ) : You are totally careless . I can not help every day itemsthat you misplace .


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Styles create Interpersonal relationships

or breaks itComplimentary : Builds

relationshipCross : Breaks

relationships


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Statement A: A know Pakistanis well .They sent terroristsfor Mumbai blasts . They must be punished .

Statement B: If it is correct that Pakistanis are behindMumbai Blasts, then they need to be dealt with strong

hands.

Statement C: It is always Pakistanis who have attacked Indiain the past .they have done it in Mumbai also. I am going tohit them.

Exercise


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Parent: strong judgmental focus; Conclusionreached)

Adult: Analytical Ego state: Conclusion is

dependent upon the data)Child: Picks up old data/experience to come

to conclusion and wants to take actionimmediately

Exercise


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Awareness & use of right Ego styles gives edge

Statements reveal predominant styleof communication of people

Ability to understand self and othersego styles in communication givesedge in relationships

One should learn to hold back and use

adult (in him or her ) to use theresponse required at that stage .


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It depends upon which ego state is being used by youin responding to various situations. OFFICE situation :Normally in Office matters , predominant

ADULT personality is highly successful stance for all official

interactions . But Child helps in bringing fun elementrequired in day to day situations.

Household situation , it is more of parent and child intransactions between parents and children. Ability to swichmodes to adult when child grows is essence of successfulrelations in family/

In Games , picnics etc , Child ego enjoys the situation .Onecan be in child ego state rather than use adult or parent state.

Success in communication


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Communication style is depended upon the dominant

ego in the transactions

Because of our past stored exposures and

experiences , every one has a typical personality

consisting of Parent , adult and child .

The mix of these varies from person to person Some one who was exposed to only strong control

and directive behavior , may adopt either punitive

parent or adapted child personality.

Some who has parents , who were fun loving andgave lot of freedom may turn to be natural style in

his /her dominant behavior.


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For effective communication , it is necessary

to use mix of styles .

Awareness of our own style gives us

advantage of curbing using pre storeddominant style and adopt required style .

Let us take few real life situations in work

place.

1.4 Effective commutation is mix ofdifferentego styles


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1. Giving feedback to subordinate who has not met his targets

2. Convincing a customer to buy a product who is not buyingyour product today .

3. Responding to a customer who is very angry because Car

sold by your company has major quality problems . Its brakesare making noise .

4. You found that one of subordinates has lost his cool in ameeting while dealing with co- employee from otherdepartment as other employee blamed him for non supply of

product to customer . You felt embarrassed as this couldhave been dealt in a way where other employee could havebeen cornered by asking data rather than losing temper .

Case / Exercises


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Giving a feedback

The purpose of feedback is to energize andmotivate the receiver to improve and acquire new

skills /knowledge or traits for better performance It needs to give facts and data to the subordinate and analysis

of same.

The concerned individual to be in a mental state that he /she

takes the feedback with open mind .

He/she need to be guided about how to acquire and act on

gaps

He should be told about consequences of not learning and notacquiring .

An effective review system need to be agreed to see the

progress card .


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Convincing a customer to buy a product

???


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In case you are asked Can you sell addition 25% this year?

Never say Yes if you have not done the analysis.

First ask for clarification whether the boss wants a guess or concreteanswer (Adult)

A Child state would mean some answer to be give toavoid negative stroke. He may Yes immediately

A Parent response would be We have never done morethan 110% of target in the past and hence not possible

Preparation for meeting: Use Adult ego state


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In case you are asked for some clarification, do not respond if youdo not have facts. Its better to say:-

I will get back to you. (Adult)

Maintain the minutes of the meeting Always have a follow-up



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In case you are asked for some clarification, do not respond if youdo not have facts. Its better to say:-

I will get back to you. (Adult)

Maintain the minutes of the meeting Always have a follow-up



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communication :

threeego styles get

linked to three styles ofcommunication


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Communication

The way we respond can be classified in

3 ways :

1. Passive Communication2. Aggressive Communication

3. Assertive communication


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1.Passive Communication Allowing our own rights to be violated by failing to

express our honest feelings

The goal is to avoid conflict no matter what

Little risk involved very safe

Make assumption in favor of yes without finding

alternatives.

Little eye contact, often defers to others opinions,

usually quiet tone, may suddenly explode after being

passive too long.


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A PassivePerson : Style, tone, voice

Passive people usually:

Speak softly and hesitantly.

Use fillers like uh and um.

Avoid eye contact.

Allow other people in their personal space.


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Examples ofPassive Communication

Ok Sir , Yes Sir

I dont know

Whatever you think

You have more experience than I. You decide

Ill go with whatever the group decides

I dont care. It doesnt matter to me

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... NO!


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2.Aggressive Communication

Protecting ones own rights at the expense of

others rights no exceptions

The goal is to win at all costs; to be right

This person thinks they will always get their way.

Eye contact is angry and intimidating; lots of

energy; loud and belittling; manipulative and

controlling. Often uses violence or verbal abuse.


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Examples of Aggressive Communication

I dont know why you cant see that this is the rightway to do it.

Its going to be my way or not at all.

Youre just stupid if you think that will work.

That kind of logic will sink the company.

Who cares what you feel. Were talking about

making things work here.


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3. Assertive communication

An honest, direct, and AppropriateAn honest, direct, and Appropriate

expression of one's feelings, thoughts, andexpression of one's feelings, thoughts, andbeliefs in an appropriate way showing fullbeliefs in an appropriate way showing full

empathy to others need.empathy to others need. Communicating your rights inCommunicating your rights in such asuch a

way thatway that you do not violate anotheryou do not violate anotherpersons rights/ Ego .Expressing yourpersons rights/ Ego .Expressing your

needs, wants, opinions, feelings andneeds, wants, opinions, feelings andbeliefsbeliefs in suchin such a waya way that isthat is appropriateappropriateto the situationto the situation


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Indicators of Assertive Communication

Protecting your own rights without violating the rights

of others.

The goal is to communicate with respect and to

understand each other; to find a solution to theproblem.

Takes a risk in the short run with others in the short

run, but in the long run relationships are much

stronger. Eye contact; listens and validates others; confident

and strong, yet flexible; objective; presents wishes

clearly & respectfully.


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An AssertivePerson Assertive people usually:

Speak calmly and confidently

Notify other people of their feelings with statementsstarting with I think and I feel.

Maintain eye contact, have good posture and are

poised and in control


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Examples of Assertive Communication

So what youre saying is....

I can see that this is important to you, and it is also

important to me. Perhaps we can talk more

respectfully and try to solve the problem.

I think... I feel... I believe that....

I would appreciate it if you...


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Linking Assertiveness to TA


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Assertiveness as defined in TA

Assertiveness is converting emotional response

into intellectual or adult response. The emotional

response is of two types

Child state: Do what old man says or respond

with emotional outburst.

Parent state: Say no because you feel it that waybased on your perceived or stored notions in

your mind.


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Incident

Boss (angry ) :You are useless. You can

never do work in time .(Punitive parent)

Subordinate (adult ): I think I have made you

angry with my work. I would be really

grateful if you can guide me areas where I

could have done well. (assertive response )


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Why Assertiveness Is Important? Effective communication brings about the achievement of individual

and/or shared goals.

Assertiveness increases your ability to reach these goals while

maintaining your rights and dignity.

If you dont know how to be assertive you might experience:

Depression.

From anger turned inward, a sense of being helpless, hopeless, with

no control over your life.

R

esentment.

Anger at others for manipulating or taking advantage ofyou.

Frustration.How could I be such a wimp? Why did I let someone

victimize me?


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Why we are not Assertive Mental conditioning from childhood not to question

elders.Respect them

Training of our mind.Fight, fear, withdraw

Fear of wrong appraisal by boss

Fear of social rejection Fear of being misunderstood as Egoist

Fear of counter attack


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transaction analsyiss unit 11 lecture

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