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Page 1: Training adults to inspire - Pivotal Education...Do you verbally abuse drivers who cut you up in traffic? Do you keep your emotions bottled up inside you? Do you feel the urge to be

Training adults to inspire

Page 2: Training adults to inspire - Pivotal Education...Do you verbally abuse drivers who cut you up in traffic? Do you keep your emotions bottled up inside you? Do you feel the urge to be

The licence to use this document expires on 22nd November 2017. If you have been given this document after that date please call Pivotal Education on 020 70001735 as this is a breach of the licence.

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2

Welcome to The Pivotal Curriculum Unit 4: Anger.

Name

School/College

Name of my Pivotal Instructor/s

Contact Details of my Pivotal Instructor/s

Other important contact details at Pivotal Education

Should you need any additional support or advice, do not hesitate to contact us at Pivotal Education: [email protected]

You will find more helpful resources that support the training delivered by your instructors on our website: www.pivotaleducation.com

Aims of the Anger unit: You will have the opportunity to:

• Look at the individual’s relationship with anger. • Investigate how habits are created and played out. • Address negative routines that angry learners find themselves in. • Practise new language patterns that help to de-escalate anger.

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3

Section 4.1

The Broad Picture Match the statistics to the statements

More than _________ of UK drivers say they have been involved in at least one road rage incident.

Airlines reported _________ significant or serious acts of air rage in a year. This is a _________ increase

on the previous year.

_________ of managers in the construction industry sought medical help for stress and depression.

_________ of nurses say they have been attacked at work.

_________ people have had a fight with the person living next door.

_________ families have ‘remote’ rage.

_________ of parents lose their temper with their children every day. In 36% of cases, this is triggered by

their child being physically aggressive.

_________ of all absences from work are caused by stress.

_________ of us have reacted to computer problems by hitting out at the PC, hurling parts of it around

or screaming and abusing colleagues.

80% 1,486 1 in 20 60% 50%

27% 27% 1 in 4 17% 59%

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4

Section 4.2 Self-diagnostic test

Always Sometimes Rarely Never

When people you trust let you down, do you feeling angry or betrayed?

When you are stressed or pressured and things don’t go your way, do you feel depressed or low?

Do you verbally abuse drivers who cut you up in traffic?

Do you keep your emotions bottled up inside you?

Do you feel the urge to be physically violent when angry?

Do you lie awake re-living the day’s upsets?

Do co-workers avoid you at work because of your anger issues?

Do you find it difficult to forgive others who have mistreated you in the past?

Do you get annoyed if you have to wait your turn in a long line?

Do you turn to alcohol when you are angry?

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5

Section 4.3 Physical signs of anger

Front Back

Other physical changes:

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Section 4.4 The Firework Model Anger is often a difficult emotion for learners to discuss/express. It is therefore useful to have an analogy with which

learners can easily identify e.g. anger can be like a “firework” or a “volcano”. This is particularly helpful for learners

with some special educational needs.

The match used to light the firework = the trigger

A firework has a fuse which can be long or short = the escalation of anger

The explosion of the firework = the angry outburst

E

Physiology: How the body responds

Psychology: The effects of negative/distorted thinking

Behaviour: The way we react

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Section 4.5 Five-Phase Assault Cycle There is a well-established “aggression cycle” (Mason and Chandley, 1999; Breakwell, 1997).

This can be used in a systematic way to increase understanding and awareness of anger and to develop and

implement strategies to deal with problem anger.

1. Trigger

2. Escalation

3. Angry or aggressive outburst

It is suggested that there are two further stages in the cycle i.e. a recovery stage and a post-anger depression stage,

after the angry outburst, Breakwell (1997), cited in Faupel et al, (1998).

Notes:

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Breakwell, 1997

A Trigger

Phase

B Escalation

Phase

C Crisis Phase

D Recovery

Phase

E Depression

Phase

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Section 4.6 Trigger sheet Examine the table below and identity your top 3 triggers.

When people talk about me behind my back.

When I do something wrong in my work.

When other people get hurt.

When other people ignore me or seem to have better people to talk to.

When I am treated unfairly.

When I am shouted at.

When people interfere and distract me when I’m busy.

When people prevent me from doing what I want to do.

When other people get more attention than me.

When people are cruel or nasty to me.

When I am losing at a game I’m playing.

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When people are rude about my family.

When I see people being bullied.

When someone calls me a liar.

When someone is physically rough with me.

When I am singled out for a reprimand when others have also been involved.

When things get broken.

When someone takes something that belongs to me.

When there is a lot of noise and I am trying to concentrate.

When I have to do something I don’t want to do.

When people don’t give me a chance to prove what I’m capable of.

When other people get angry.

When people don’t listen to me.

When people don’t understand me.

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Section 4.7

Matching strategies

Taking on a similar posture

Matching the tone of voice

Volume and pace of speech

Speed of movement

Taking on a similar energy

Rhythm and depth of breathing

Section 4.8

Language to manage anger

Personalise - use learners name

Reassure - use positive reinforcement where possible

Interrupt

Distract

Redirect

Use humour (gently!)

Ignore

"Slow down" approaches

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Section 4.9 Venn diagram: Assertive – Passive - Aggressive

Enter the numbers below onto the Venn Diagram.

1. Looking away 2. Voice difficult to hear 3. Challenging eye contact 4. Loud voice 5. Steady eye contact 6. Fiddling with

hair/jewellery 7. Hand gestures that

emphasise words

8. Sarcastic tone 9. Calm but firm voice 10. Pointing finger 11. Wringing hands 12. Maintaining personal

space 13. Invading space 14. Shoulders straight 15. Slumped position

16. Pounding fist 17. Smiling confidently 18. Looking bored 19. Hands on hips 20. Body still and relaxed 21. Deathly soft voice 22. Open body language

Hostile

Assertive

Passive

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Section 4.10 Strategies for angry learners

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Section 4.11

Responding to anger

Principles

Simple language slower speech.

Model volume of voice.

Teach them their inner voice to control themselves.

Explain, expect, encourage and correct.

Don’t ask rhetorical questions.

Praise behaviours individually.

Always refer to learning first of all.

Feelings

1. Identify the feelings

“You sound as if …”

“You seem to be …”

“You look as if …”

2. Acknowledge the feelings

“Oh right … Oh Yes … I see”

3. Accept the learner’s feelings as you stop unacceptable behaviour

“I know you’re angry, but I can’t allow you to …”

Engage the learner’s co-operation

1. Saying thank you as a presupposition or giving thanks

“Thank you for your hands up David”

“Thank you for putting your gum in the bin”

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2. Question or comment on learning, not the behaviours

“What number are you on?”

“How far have you got now?”

“How did you get that answer?”

“I like this answer, show me how you did it.”

3. Describe the problem

“I can hear too much noise right now”

“Name … I notice you have your phone out …”

“Name ... You're talking, this is ... Time... You need to look and listen, thanks”

“Name ... You are pushing etc... Safe hands/feet please, look this way and listen, thanks”

“You are messing with the headphones, this is reading time” Or “You need to be reading quietly”

4. Give information

“It’s easier to talk whilst everyone’s quiet”

5. Offer a choice

“You can sit here … or there.”

“You can use a pen or this pencil”

“Pop it in our pocket or on my desk?”

6. When … then …

“When you've got your hand up without shouting out, then I will come and see you”

“When you’ve finished the first paragraph, then you can visit the toilet””

7. Use a word or name > gesture

“Jatinder …” Look at them and point to their seat.

8. Describe what you feel

“I don’t like you talking over me.”

9. Describe what has been done and what needs to be done

“You’ve done the first two, only three more to do.”

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Use stronger alternatives, with firmer tone of voice

1. Point out an alternative

“I see and hear your anger; you need to stop swearing though.”

2. Make a statement

“I don’t like that kind of behaviour.”

“We don’t do that here”

3. State what you want

“I need you to sit down now … thanks.”

“Looking this way with our eyes and ears … thanks Keisha”

“Looking this way and listening … thanks Daljit …”

“You need to be in your seat ..”

“You need to be completing your exercises …”

“I expect you to be sitting down now …”

4. Making amends

“What are you going to do to put things right?”

5. Offer a choice

“You can sit here or here … You choose.”

“Pop it in our pocket or on my desk.”

6. Direct commands

“Name ... Stop that now. Come and sit over here. Thanks”

“I don't have that kind of talk in my classroom. Stop now.”

7. Future consequences

“When you do/say that, you’re making it very difficult for me not to take this further.”

“If you choose to do ... Then ....”

“If you can't work side by side you will have to move tables

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N.B. These are only examples to illustrate the ideas.

What is important is how you speak and the non-verbal behaviours that you exhibit at the same time.

Your beliefs and personality will determine which strategies you use and how you use them.

Section 4.12 What learners are thinking

Try to put yourself into the position of a learner. Identify what your feelings may be in various circumstances.

Trigger Angry feelings Non-angry feelings

Someone pushes you

in the corridor

1) He wants to pick a fight

2) She wants to hurt me

3)

4)

1) He lost his balance

2) Someone bullied her into it

3)

4)

Your teacher doesn’t

listen when you are

telling them you are

late.

1) They don’t care about me

2) They don’t believe me

3)

4)

1) She is busy trying to sort out

another problem.

2) I have picked a bad time

3)

4)

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Someone shouts at you 1)

2)

3)

4)

1)

2)

3)

4)

You are not picked for a

particular sports team

1)

2)

3)

4)

1)

2)

3)

4)

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Section 4.13 Scenarios for discussion

Scenario 1

A learner has been out of their seat for the third time. You have already reminded him twice to stay in his seat

and carry on with the task in hand. You now need to have a quiet word with the learner whilst remaining in the

classroom. As you begin to talk to them, they start shouting at you: ‘You’re always picking on me, never anyone

else. Why don’t you leave me alone?’

Scenario 2

You are talking to a learner by the whiteboard at the front of the room, when two learners at the back of the

room stand up and start pushing each other around. You hear one learner shout, ‘Give me it back man! It’s mine

and you know it!’ The other learners start to shout, ‘Fight! Fight!’

Scenario 3

A female learner comes in to the start of the lesson looking angry and upset. She is a girl known to be prone to

violent outbursts towards others. As another learner walks in, the girl gets up quickly, runs towards them and

shouts, ‘What the hell are you doing messing with my brother at lunch?’ You’re dead!’ She moved so fast you

couldn’t stop her hitting the other learner in the face.

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Section 4.14 Take-away

Three things to teach learners about anger:

Three strategies for intervening with an angry

learner:

Three ways of helping learners to self-

manage anger:

A mantra that you can agree with the learner:

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Section 4.15 More detail about the “Five Phase Assault Cycle” (Murphy, 2001) Stage One - The Buildup

The build-up stage sets the foundation upon which the anger will be built.

Contributing factors:

1. Experiences

2. Learned attitudes

3. Past reactions

4. Physical stress

5. Low self-esteem

6. Unrealistic attitudes

7. Poor coping skills

Your Goal as a teacher to manage anger: Prevent an outburst

Talk calmly.

Teach problem solving.

Remember that anger is not directed at you but toward you.

Stage Two - The Spark

The spark is the action or thought that sets off the angry outburst.

Contributing factors:

1. Mutual antagonism

2. Sight or thought of something unpleasant

3. Hot button words or topics such as, “Where is your assignment?”

4. Outside influences/mishaps

5. Immature reasoning

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Your goal as a teacher to manage anger: Defuse the problem

Look beyond the spark for the true problem

Listen calmly

Label the correct motion

Restate the rules

Stage Three - The explosion

The explosion is the stage where feelings get hurt. Meanness, aggression, and even violence come to light.

Contributing factors:

1. Raised voices

2. Insults

3. Name calling

4. Hitting

5. Kicking

6. Shredded homework or worse

Your goal as a teacher to manage anger: Contain the explosion and minimise any resulting damage

Stay calm

Don’t bargain or threaten

Remind of discipline

Cool off

Separate the actors if more than one learner is involved

Stage Four - The Aftermath

This is the stage that is most overlooked but is most important. The aftermath is where teacher and learner calmly

discuss and confront the original problem. Remember whatever is unresolved is likely to become the build up for

the next angry outburst.

Contributing factors:

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1. Magnitude of the outburst

2. Your degree of calm

3. The control of your own emotions

4. Your expressions

5. Your care and respect

Your goal as a teacher to manage anger: Resolve the problem and gain insight to forestall future episodes

Talk over what happened

Use teachable moments for problem solving

Manage any micro bursts

Follow through on discipline

Back to basics

When learners try to argue, shift the blame, or divert the conversation, you need to quickly, kindly and efficiently

bring them back to the conversation that you want to have. Eg. …

Learner: “It wasn’t me.”

Teacher: “I hear what you’re saying … “.

Learner: “But they were doing the same thing.”

Teacher: “I understand … “.

Learner: “I was only … “.

Teacher: “Maybe you were, and yet … “.

Learner: “You are not being fair.”

Teacher: “Yes I may appear unfair, however we are discussing … “.

Learner: “It’s boring.”

Teacher: “Yes, you may think it boring, and yet … “.

Learner: “You are annoying.”

Teacher: “There may be some truth in that, what I need to speak to you about is … “.

If the conversation is becoming unproductive:

“I am stopping this conversation now. I’m going to walk away and give you a chance to think about the choices that

you made. I know that when I come back we can have a polite, productive conversation.”

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Section 4.16

Whole Staff Change

Formalise and agree a consistent explanation of anger for the learners. Decide on three icons that will represent

your consistent explanation. Post these around the school so all staff can refer to them in discussions with

learners.

Personal Practice

30-day action research task: Display your three icons around the site and when learners ask about them use it as

an opportunity to recite your consistent messages.

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Pivotal Education Ltd is an education training consultancy working across the whole of the UK and internationally. Founded in 2001, Pivotal Education has always been committed to providing exceptional training and support for teachers, school leaders and other professionals working with young people.

We are the leading specialists in Behaviour Management and Safeguarding in the UK. Our aim is simple: to train adults to inspire young people.

Our acclaimed in-house training team work with a huge variety of teachers and educators in diverse settings. Our live training sends consistent ripples through your teaching teams, our online training sustains changes in practice and our licensed instructors scheme embeds lasting cultural change.

From highly successful institutions to those in challenging situations, from early years to post -16 learners, Pivotal training inspires, motivates and creates profound cultural change.

Our work extends to 20 countries. We are COBIS (Council of British International Schools) Approved Consultants.

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