training adults to inspire - pivotal education...do you verbally abuse drivers who cut you up in...
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Training adults to inspire
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Welcome to The Pivotal Curriculum Unit 4: Anger.
Name
School/College
Name of my Pivotal Instructor/s
Contact Details of my Pivotal Instructor/s
Other important contact details at Pivotal Education
Should you need any additional support or advice, do not hesitate to contact us at Pivotal Education: [email protected]
You will find more helpful resources that support the training delivered by your instructors on our website: www.pivotaleducation.com
Aims of the Anger unit: You will have the opportunity to:
• Look at the individual’s relationship with anger. • Investigate how habits are created and played out. • Address negative routines that angry learners find themselves in. • Practise new language patterns that help to de-escalate anger.
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Section 4.1
The Broad Picture Match the statistics to the statements
More than _________ of UK drivers say they have been involved in at least one road rage incident.
Airlines reported _________ significant or serious acts of air rage in a year. This is a _________ increase
on the previous year.
_________ of managers in the construction industry sought medical help for stress and depression.
_________ of nurses say they have been attacked at work.
_________ people have had a fight with the person living next door.
_________ families have ‘remote’ rage.
_________ of parents lose their temper with their children every day. In 36% of cases, this is triggered by
their child being physically aggressive.
_________ of all absences from work are caused by stress.
_________ of us have reacted to computer problems by hitting out at the PC, hurling parts of it around
or screaming and abusing colleagues.
80% 1,486 1 in 20 60% 50%
27% 27% 1 in 4 17% 59%
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Section 4.2 Self-diagnostic test
Always Sometimes Rarely Never
When people you trust let you down, do you feeling angry or betrayed?
When you are stressed or pressured and things don’t go your way, do you feel depressed or low?
Do you verbally abuse drivers who cut you up in traffic?
Do you keep your emotions bottled up inside you?
Do you feel the urge to be physically violent when angry?
Do you lie awake re-living the day’s upsets?
Do co-workers avoid you at work because of your anger issues?
Do you find it difficult to forgive others who have mistreated you in the past?
Do you get annoyed if you have to wait your turn in a long line?
Do you turn to alcohol when you are angry?
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Section 4.3 Physical signs of anger
Front Back
Other physical changes:
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Section 4.4 The Firework Model Anger is often a difficult emotion for learners to discuss/express. It is therefore useful to have an analogy with which
learners can easily identify e.g. anger can be like a “firework” or a “volcano”. This is particularly helpful for learners
with some special educational needs.
The match used to light the firework = the trigger
A firework has a fuse which can be long or short = the escalation of anger
The explosion of the firework = the angry outburst
E
Physiology: How the body responds
Psychology: The effects of negative/distorted thinking
Behaviour: The way we react
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Section 4.5 Five-Phase Assault Cycle There is a well-established “aggression cycle” (Mason and Chandley, 1999; Breakwell, 1997).
This can be used in a systematic way to increase understanding and awareness of anger and to develop and
implement strategies to deal with problem anger.
1. Trigger
2. Escalation
3. Angry or aggressive outburst
It is suggested that there are two further stages in the cycle i.e. a recovery stage and a post-anger depression stage,
after the angry outburst, Breakwell (1997), cited in Faupel et al, (1998).
Notes:
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Breakwell, 1997
A Trigger
Phase
B Escalation
Phase
C Crisis Phase
D Recovery
Phase
E Depression
Phase
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Section 4.6 Trigger sheet Examine the table below and identity your top 3 triggers.
When people talk about me behind my back.
When I do something wrong in my work.
When other people get hurt.
When other people ignore me or seem to have better people to talk to.
When I am treated unfairly.
When I am shouted at.
When people interfere and distract me when I’m busy.
When people prevent me from doing what I want to do.
When other people get more attention than me.
When people are cruel or nasty to me.
When I am losing at a game I’m playing.
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When people are rude about my family.
When I see people being bullied.
When someone calls me a liar.
When someone is physically rough with me.
When I am singled out for a reprimand when others have also been involved.
When things get broken.
When someone takes something that belongs to me.
When there is a lot of noise and I am trying to concentrate.
When I have to do something I don’t want to do.
When people don’t give me a chance to prove what I’m capable of.
When other people get angry.
When people don’t listen to me.
When people don’t understand me.
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Section 4.7
Matching strategies
Taking on a similar posture
Matching the tone of voice
Volume and pace of speech
Speed of movement
Taking on a similar energy
Rhythm and depth of breathing
Section 4.8
Language to manage anger
Personalise - use learners name
Reassure - use positive reinforcement where possible
Interrupt
Distract
Redirect
Use humour (gently!)
Ignore
"Slow down" approaches
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Section 4.9 Venn diagram: Assertive – Passive - Aggressive
Enter the numbers below onto the Venn Diagram.
1. Looking away 2. Voice difficult to hear 3. Challenging eye contact 4. Loud voice 5. Steady eye contact 6. Fiddling with
hair/jewellery 7. Hand gestures that
emphasise words
8. Sarcastic tone 9. Calm but firm voice 10. Pointing finger 11. Wringing hands 12. Maintaining personal
space 13. Invading space 14. Shoulders straight 15. Slumped position
16. Pounding fist 17. Smiling confidently 18. Looking bored 19. Hands on hips 20. Body still and relaxed 21. Deathly soft voice 22. Open body language
Hostile
Assertive
Passive
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Section 4.10 Strategies for angry learners
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Section 4.11
Responding to anger
Principles
Simple language slower speech.
Model volume of voice.
Teach them their inner voice to control themselves.
Explain, expect, encourage and correct.
Don’t ask rhetorical questions.
Praise behaviours individually.
Always refer to learning first of all.
Feelings
1. Identify the feelings
“You sound as if …”
“You seem to be …”
“You look as if …”
2. Acknowledge the feelings
“Oh right … Oh Yes … I see”
3. Accept the learner’s feelings as you stop unacceptable behaviour
“I know you’re angry, but I can’t allow you to …”
Engage the learner’s co-operation
1. Saying thank you as a presupposition or giving thanks
“Thank you for your hands up David”
“Thank you for putting your gum in the bin”
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2. Question or comment on learning, not the behaviours
“What number are you on?”
“How far have you got now?”
“How did you get that answer?”
“I like this answer, show me how you did it.”
3. Describe the problem
“I can hear too much noise right now”
“Name … I notice you have your phone out …”
“Name ... You're talking, this is ... Time... You need to look and listen, thanks”
“Name ... You are pushing etc... Safe hands/feet please, look this way and listen, thanks”
“You are messing with the headphones, this is reading time” Or “You need to be reading quietly”
4. Give information
“It’s easier to talk whilst everyone’s quiet”
5. Offer a choice
“You can sit here … or there.”
“You can use a pen or this pencil”
“Pop it in our pocket or on my desk?”
6. When … then …
“When you've got your hand up without shouting out, then I will come and see you”
“When you’ve finished the first paragraph, then you can visit the toilet””
7. Use a word or name > gesture
“Jatinder …” Look at them and point to their seat.
8. Describe what you feel
“I don’t like you talking over me.”
9. Describe what has been done and what needs to be done
“You’ve done the first two, only three more to do.”
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Use stronger alternatives, with firmer tone of voice
1. Point out an alternative
“I see and hear your anger; you need to stop swearing though.”
2. Make a statement
“I don’t like that kind of behaviour.”
“We don’t do that here”
3. State what you want
“I need you to sit down now … thanks.”
“Looking this way with our eyes and ears … thanks Keisha”
“Looking this way and listening … thanks Daljit …”
“You need to be in your seat ..”
“You need to be completing your exercises …”
“I expect you to be sitting down now …”
4. Making amends
“What are you going to do to put things right?”
5. Offer a choice
“You can sit here or here … You choose.”
“Pop it in our pocket or on my desk.”
6. Direct commands
“Name ... Stop that now. Come and sit over here. Thanks”
“I don't have that kind of talk in my classroom. Stop now.”
7. Future consequences
“When you do/say that, you’re making it very difficult for me not to take this further.”
“If you choose to do ... Then ....”
“If you can't work side by side you will have to move tables
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N.B. These are only examples to illustrate the ideas.
What is important is how you speak and the non-verbal behaviours that you exhibit at the same time.
Your beliefs and personality will determine which strategies you use and how you use them.
Section 4.12 What learners are thinking
Try to put yourself into the position of a learner. Identify what your feelings may be in various circumstances.
Trigger Angry feelings Non-angry feelings
Someone pushes you
in the corridor
1) He wants to pick a fight
2) She wants to hurt me
3)
4)
1) He lost his balance
2) Someone bullied her into it
3)
4)
Your teacher doesn’t
listen when you are
telling them you are
late.
1) They don’t care about me
2) They don’t believe me
3)
4)
1) She is busy trying to sort out
another problem.
2) I have picked a bad time
3)
4)
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Someone shouts at you 1)
2)
3)
4)
1)
2)
3)
4)
You are not picked for a
particular sports team
1)
2)
3)
4)
1)
2)
3)
4)
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Section 4.13 Scenarios for discussion
Scenario 1
A learner has been out of their seat for the third time. You have already reminded him twice to stay in his seat
and carry on with the task in hand. You now need to have a quiet word with the learner whilst remaining in the
classroom. As you begin to talk to them, they start shouting at you: ‘You’re always picking on me, never anyone
else. Why don’t you leave me alone?’
Scenario 2
You are talking to a learner by the whiteboard at the front of the room, when two learners at the back of the
room stand up and start pushing each other around. You hear one learner shout, ‘Give me it back man! It’s mine
and you know it!’ The other learners start to shout, ‘Fight! Fight!’
Scenario 3
A female learner comes in to the start of the lesson looking angry and upset. She is a girl known to be prone to
violent outbursts towards others. As another learner walks in, the girl gets up quickly, runs towards them and
shouts, ‘What the hell are you doing messing with my brother at lunch?’ You’re dead!’ She moved so fast you
couldn’t stop her hitting the other learner in the face.
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Section 4.14 Take-away
Three things to teach learners about anger:
Three strategies for intervening with an angry
learner:
Three ways of helping learners to self-
manage anger:
A mantra that you can agree with the learner:
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Section 4.15 More detail about the “Five Phase Assault Cycle” (Murphy, 2001) Stage One - The Buildup
The build-up stage sets the foundation upon which the anger will be built.
Contributing factors:
1. Experiences
2. Learned attitudes
3. Past reactions
4. Physical stress
5. Low self-esteem
6. Unrealistic attitudes
7. Poor coping skills
Your Goal as a teacher to manage anger: Prevent an outburst
Talk calmly.
Teach problem solving.
Remember that anger is not directed at you but toward you.
Stage Two - The Spark
The spark is the action or thought that sets off the angry outburst.
Contributing factors:
1. Mutual antagonism
2. Sight or thought of something unpleasant
3. Hot button words or topics such as, “Where is your assignment?”
4. Outside influences/mishaps
5. Immature reasoning
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Your goal as a teacher to manage anger: Defuse the problem
Look beyond the spark for the true problem
Listen calmly
Label the correct motion
Restate the rules
Stage Three - The explosion
The explosion is the stage where feelings get hurt. Meanness, aggression, and even violence come to light.
Contributing factors:
1. Raised voices
2. Insults
3. Name calling
4. Hitting
5. Kicking
6. Shredded homework or worse
Your goal as a teacher to manage anger: Contain the explosion and minimise any resulting damage
Stay calm
Don’t bargain or threaten
Remind of discipline
Cool off
Separate the actors if more than one learner is involved
Stage Four - The Aftermath
This is the stage that is most overlooked but is most important. The aftermath is where teacher and learner calmly
discuss and confront the original problem. Remember whatever is unresolved is likely to become the build up for
the next angry outburst.
Contributing factors:
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1. Magnitude of the outburst
2. Your degree of calm
3. The control of your own emotions
4. Your expressions
5. Your care and respect
Your goal as a teacher to manage anger: Resolve the problem and gain insight to forestall future episodes
Talk over what happened
Use teachable moments for problem solving
Manage any micro bursts
Follow through on discipline
Back to basics
When learners try to argue, shift the blame, or divert the conversation, you need to quickly, kindly and efficiently
bring them back to the conversation that you want to have. Eg. …
Learner: “It wasn’t me.”
Teacher: “I hear what you’re saying … “.
Learner: “But they were doing the same thing.”
Teacher: “I understand … “.
Learner: “I was only … “.
Teacher: “Maybe you were, and yet … “.
Learner: “You are not being fair.”
Teacher: “Yes I may appear unfair, however we are discussing … “.
Learner: “It’s boring.”
Teacher: “Yes, you may think it boring, and yet … “.
Learner: “You are annoying.”
Teacher: “There may be some truth in that, what I need to speak to you about is … “.
If the conversation is becoming unproductive:
“I am stopping this conversation now. I’m going to walk away and give you a chance to think about the choices that
you made. I know that when I come back we can have a polite, productive conversation.”
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Section 4.16
Whole Staff Change
Formalise and agree a consistent explanation of anger for the learners. Decide on three icons that will represent
your consistent explanation. Post these around the school so all staff can refer to them in discussions with
learners.
Personal Practice
30-day action research task: Display your three icons around the site and when learners ask about them use it as
an opportunity to recite your consistent messages.
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