Toward a Relational Formation Model for Pastoral CareStephen P. Stratton, Ph.D.

Practically Speaking

• We need time with others to be formed in the image of Christ (Communion)

• We need solitary time with Father to be formed into the likeness of his Son through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit (Contemplation).

Three Merging Roads

Trinitarian Theology, Neuroscience and Attachment Theory

Use your imagination:

What do you imagine it was like before Creation?

What adjectives would you use to describe what you imagine?

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Before Creation: Love

“Terms like king, judge, and sovereign speak of what God does, of His relationship to the creation” but that is not who He is.(Kinlaw, 2005, Let’s Start with Jesus: A New Way of Doing Theology, p. 28).

What words then characterize who God is? Only one; God is love. The nature of God is loving communion.(Gunton, 1997, The Promise of Trinitarian Theology, p. 71).

Genesis 1:26-27Then God said,

Let Us make humankind in Our image, according to our/God created humankind in his own image... male and female he created them.

“Here we have… the living God who reveals himself to us in such a way that he creates in us the capacity to receive and apprehend him; and he communicates himself to us in such a way that he lifts us up into the inner communion of his divine Being so that we are given to share in the mutual knowing of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit and thus to know God as he is himself in the immanent relations of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”

—Torrance, T. (1980). The Ground and Grammar of Theology. Charlottesville: University of Virginia Press, p. 154.

Abiding: John 16Psychologist and developmental researcher Daniel Stern (2004) reports in his studies of infants through adults,

“Our nervous systems are constructed to be captured by the nervous systems of others, so that we can experience others as if from within their skin, as well as from within our own. A sort of direct feeling route into the other person is potentially open, and we resonate with and participate in their experience, and they in ours” (p. 76, The Present Moment in Psychotherapy and in Life).

John 17: 20, 21“I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given them that they may one just as We are one. I in them; You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved me.”

Lewis, Amini, and Lannon (2000). A General Theory of Love. New York: Random House.

“Because human physiology is… an open loop arrangement, an individual does not direct all of his [or her] own functions. A second person transmits regulatory information that can alter hormone levels, cardiovascular function, sleep rhythms, immune function, and more—inside the body of the first. The reciprocal process occurs simultaneously: the first person regulates the physiology of the second, even as he [or she] is regulated. Neither is a functioning whole on his own; each has open loops that only somebody else can complete. Together they create a stable, properly balanced pair of organisms.” (p. 85).

PerichoresisBiological and emotional synchronicity (“mutual regulation,” Siegel, 1999; “attunement,” Schore, 2003) may be a human image of the inner life of the Trinity. It can be viewed as a vastly simplified but living icon of the unifying communion of the three divine Persons.

“Hard-Wired” to Connect

Human neuroanatomy is biologically “wired” to develop in tandem with another’s neuroanatomy in an attachment relationship.

“The self-organization of the developing brain occurs in the context of a relationship with another self, another brain. This relational context can be growth-facilitating or growth-inhibiting, and so it imprints into the developing right brain either a resilience against or a vulnerability to later forming psychiatric disorders.” (Zuckerman, B. et al., 1987, Pediatrics 79, no. 5, p. 677)

The “imprinting” process produces brain-based working models of what to expect and how to live in the relational world.

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These biological and psychological working models are the foundation for the unique way persons view themselves, God, and others, even as adults.

These models become “attachment filters” that shape how persons feel about themselves, God, and others. They determine how persons “make meaning” of the events “from the cradle to the grave.”

The Balance of Attachment

Balanced Relationships

SecureAttachment

Unsafe and Insecure Safe and Secure Unsafe and Insecure

Secure Attachment• Emotions are regulated effectively for a given

situation

• Marked by a secure view of life, God, and self

• Tend to solve problems effectively—flexibility

• Seek support of others when they need it

• Consciously acknowledge emotional distress

• Tend to express emotions openly

• Views God as loving, available, and responsive.

The Balance of Attachment

Balanced Relationships

ExtremeExtreme

Independence

SecureAttachment

Dismissing of Attachment

Protective Separation

Unsafe and Insecure Safe and Secure Unsafe and Insecure

Dismissing of Attachment• Expect others NOT to be available or responsive to them• Fails to provide care in interpersonal conflicts. May be

coercive.

• Show little emotion in relationships

• Shut down or stifle their need for God and others

• Act strong and self-reliant – above needing people

• Have few distinct and specific memories of childhood

• May state their need for God but then don’t rely on him during difficult times – non-trusting.

• God is distant and inaccessible

• Pray non-personal prayers

The Balance of Attachment

Balanced Relationships

ExtremeExtreme

Independence

ExtremeExtreme

Dependence

SecureAttachment

Dismissing of Attachment Preoccupied with Attachment

Protective Separation Protective Connection

Unsafe and Insecure Safe and Secure Unsafe and Insecure

Preoccupied with Attachment• Expect others to be unreliable and even rejecting

• Have negative painful memories that often surface

• Cannot regulate emotions effectively so looks beyond self to find ways to manage.

• Can be clingy in relationships

• Exhibit help-seeking tendencies in prayer (me, me, me)

• Are easily anxious (worried)

• Have a fragile relationship with God and their Christian community

• The orbitofrontal cortex appears to retain the plastic capacities of early development throughout life. Thus, working models can change on the basis of new relational experiences beyond infancy.

• Formation must create the conditions for corrective emotional/relational experiences as well as knowledge-based learning if persons are to grow into the image of Christ.

Dozier & Terrell (1998)The role of attachment in therapeutic relationships. In Simpson & Rholes (Eds.) Attachment theory and close relationships (pp. 221-248). New York: Guilford

“Social psychology researchers have provided empirical evidence of how compelling it is to provide complimentary responses to strong interpersonal messages. Individuals tend to elicits responses from others consistent with their expectations. Others feel compelled to provide responses that are consistent within, and complementary to, an individual’s internal working models.”

Corrective Experiences

Two “means of grace” suggestions regarding formative practices:

• Communion

• Contemplation

Choose to be present!

Neuroscience Helps for Trinitarian Pastoral Practice

1. There is no spiritual transformation without accompanying brain growth.

2. Brain growth occurs most effectively when experiencing relationship with God (contemplation) and others (communion).

3. Hope for transformation is always possible based on lifelong plasticity of the brain.

4. Memory is malleable and history can be rewritten.

What does that mean?Psychologist Todd Hall explains:• Our attachment filters need to be transformed to live in reality.

• Our attachment filters are stubborn, self-reinforcing.

• Spiritual transformation occurs only after new pathways are formed in the brain.

• Spiritual transformation does not occur directly as often as it occurs indirectly.

• Spiritual transformation occurs suddenly after a long process of minor shifts in our perspective, gut level beliefs, or relational experiences. Often it appears that nothing is working, and then exponential changes occur in our attachment filters.

Current NeurobiologicalResearch SummariesStanley Grenz (2001) The Social God and the Relational Self

Louis Cozolino (2006) The Neuroscience of Human Relationships

Joseph LeDoux (1996) The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life

Allan Schore (2003) Affect Disregulation and Disorders of the Self & (2003) Affect Regulation and the Repair of the Self

Daniel Siegal (1999) The Developing Mind: Toward a Neurobiology of Interpersonal Experience

Murchadh ‘O Madagain (2007) Centering Prayer and the Healing of the Unconscious