TO SOBRIETY AND BEYOND!HELPING CLIENTS SHIFT FROM A “WHAT NOT TO DO”, TO A “LIVING LIFE FULLY” FOCUS

BRIAN T. CASE, PH.D.PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING SERVICES, LTD.480-947-5739brian.case@pcsearle.com

INTRODUCTION… LMFT/Addiction-S.A. for past 17 years at PCS Treatment approach =

addiction model, trauma, attachment, systems theory, psychodynamic, CBT, spirituality A/F and “GET REAL” groups

WORKSHOP OBJECTIVES Explore the importance of helping clients think in terms of recovery

and not just sobriety, and how integrating the “Super 7” can facilitate that shift.

Present a user-friendly model (that can be shared with clients) in which recovery is defined, in part, as “recovering and reintegrating” the lost parts of our ‘real self’ and then living life fully from that place of authenticity.

Discuss ways to help clients understand distinctions between addictive impulsivity and healthy spontaneity

Learn (engage in) an experiential exercise/technique to facilitate a client’s movement into “being present/living life more fully”.

THE PROBLEM: STUCK IN A WHAT “NOT TO DO” FOCUS 20 YRS SOBER AA/ACTIVE S.A. WORKAHOLIC, ETC “IT WAS A GOOD WEEK, I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SEX

ONE TIME!” We are SASH!!

– LET’S ADVANCE SEXUAL HEALTH AND NOT JUST HELP STOP SEXUAL ADDICTION/COMPULSIVITY!

SOBRIETY CONTRACT

CIRCLES (OUTER, MIDDLE, INNER) RED LIGHT, YELLOW LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT

BEHAVIORS. MISSION STATEMENT ALL = IMPORTANT, WHAT “TO DO” = FOCUS

THE PROBLEM CONTINUED…

The much needed emphasis on restraint regarding addictive behaviors can bleed over into parts of one’s self that are crying out for release and expression.

THE SOLUTION: “THE GOOD LIFE!”

LIVE A FULL AND RICH LIFE IN WHICH THE APPEAL OF ADDICTION IS DECREASED (IN PART) BY AN INCREASE IN JOY, HEALTHY PASSION, FULFILLING RELATIONSHIPS, AND RECONNECTING WITH OUR “CHILD-LIKE” ABILITY TO PLAY & LIVE IN THE MOMENT IN HEALTHY VS. ADDICTIVE WAYS

THE MODELPsychodynamicSystemic, relationally orientedTrauma/NeglectShameImage Mgt.Attachment CBT Apology/Forgiveness Inner-child/self-loveBoundaries/anger mgt./assertiveness

THE REAL SELF OPEN & HONEST CAN LIVE IN THE MOMENT CAPABLE OF SPONTANEITY, SILLINESS CAN SELF-VALIDATE NOT IMAGE DRIVEN EMOTIONALLY EXPRESSIVE IN SAFE WAYS APPROPRIATE GUILT VS. TOXIC SHAME AWARE OF AND OK WITH WEAKNESS IN SELF & OTHERS GROWTH/CHANGE MOTIVATED BY SELF-LOVE VS. SHAME CAN USE HUMOR & CAN PLAY WITHOUT HURTING SELF/OTHERS! PROTECTS OUT OF BALANCED SELF-CARE SEEKS CONNECTION/RELATIONSHIP

THE SOLUTION & SEXUALITY… LIVE A FULL AND RICH SEXUAL LIFE IN WHICH

FULFILLMENT IS INCREASED, & THE APPEAL OF ADDICTIVE SEX IS DECREASED (IN PART) BY TRUE INTIMACY, PASSION FULLY EXPRESSED WITHIN ONE’S VALUES, PLAY, CREATIVE EXPRESSION, & THE ABILITY TO BE IN THE MOMENT RATHER THAN NUMBED OR DISSOCIATED THROUGH THE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE.

HEALTHY SEXUALITY IS…

GREATEST COMMON DENOMINATORS = ? Klein (2011)

– HONEST– CONSENTING– RESPONSIBLE

UNDERSTAND RISKS, SATISFYING, SHAME/DEGRADATION-FREE

THE “SUPER 7”INTIMACY WITH VULNERABILITY

*Terry Real’s Keynote last year. *HONEST ABOUT NEEDS, WANTS, LIMITATIONS*FOCUSING ON CONX IN EXISTING CORE R-SHIPS*ADDRESSES CONFLICT

-BOUNDARIES VS. WALLS-APOLOGY/FORGIVENESS

*HELP THEM REALLY LISTEN TO LOVED ONES!

EXPERIENTIAL EX. - “INSTIMACY”

LEAD-IN STATEMENT THAT EACH FINISHES-SHIFT WHO GOES FIRST

GO WITH “FIRST THING” UNLESS 2ND = MORE HONEST/VULNERABLE

“PAUSE CHIPS”

THE “SUPER 7” PASSION WITH INTEGRITY

DRINKING UP “JOY JUICE” WITHOUT THE HANGOVER! FULLY EXPRESSING SEXUALITY WITHIN PERSONAL

VALUES BALANCED SELFISHNESS (NO MARTYRS!!) HEALTHY SENSUALITY VS. ADDICTIVE SELF-INDULGENCE

THE “SUPER 7”HEALTHY “LIVING IN THE MOMENT”

CREATIVE SPONTANEITY VS. DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSIVITY “SEIZE THE DAY” VS. DEMAND FOR INSTANT

GRATIFICATION CHILDLIKE VS. CHILDISH HUMOR THAT CONNECTS VS. PROTECTS/HURTS PLAY VS. PERFORMANCE FAITH AND SPIRITUALITY VS. FEAR-BASED RELIGIOSITY RELATIONSHIP VS. IMAGE-BASED “RULES” HEALTHY SENSUALITY VS. ADDICTIVE SELF-

INDULGENCE

THE “SUPER 7”CURIOSITY/WONDER

Impact of many schools: WE need to remain curious with our clients Appreciate fact that the older I get, the less we

KNOW, but the wiser we are with our application! Wanting to LEARN vs. SHOW/TEACH/TELL

THE “SUPER 7”GRATITUDE

*STOP & SMELL THE ROSES*DAILY (Hymn: Count Your Many Blessings)

-SPIRITUALITY*ANTIDOTE TO VICTIM MENTALITY/DESTRUCTIVE

ENTITLEMENT*IS POSSIBLE REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCES!!

GRATITUDE QUOTES

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." - Thornton Wilder

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. -John F. Kennedy 

The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated. -WIlliam James "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what

you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."- Oprah Winfrey He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for

those which he has." - Epictetus

THE “SUPER 7”HUMOR/LAUGHTER…

USED TO FACE PROBLEMS WITH COURAGE/PERSPECTIVE VS. TO AVOID

CONNECTS NOT PROTECTS NO HIDDEN ANGER

-CAREFUL WITH USING IT TO ADDRESS ISSUES NO SHAME/VICTIM

HEALTHY HUMOR:

Laughter is the Best Medicine:

According to various studies, laughter can: Boost the immune system and circulatory system Enhance oxygen intake Stimulate the heart and lungs Relax muscles throughout the body Trigger the release of endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers) Ease digestion/soothes stomach aches Relieve pain Balance blood pressure Improve mental functions (i.e., alertness, memory, creativity)

THE “SUPER 7” 1. FREEJAMMING (HEALTHY “ESCAPE”!!

-EXCITEMENT-SPONTANEITY-CREATIVITY-AWARENESS-PLAYFULNESS-EXPRESSIVENESS

FREEJAMMING VARIATIONS VERBAL PING-PONG COPY-CAT LAUGH-A-THON SCENARIOS (BOYS ON CAMPOUT, ETC.) CIRCLE OF SPONTANEITY

“DON’T FORGET TO PLAY!!” : )