to be your best…. think of situations that have been uncomfortable for you or for others was it...
TRANSCRIPT
To be your best…
Think of situations that have been uncomfortable for you or for others Was it awkward? Was it stressful? Were expectations unclear?
Strong ethics help you understand your values and know yourself
Basic etiquette will make you more self-assured so that you can be prepared
You will gain confidence as you learn how to act and react
Cheating in the public schools and colleges continues to rise
Corporations value their executives (salaries and bonuses) more than customers or the environment
Doctors continue to provide better care and treatment options to those who have insurance or can afford to pay
Major political parties spinning nearly everything to make a story and skew opinions
The rules by which one conducts him- or herself
It’s what you believe It’s how you react when your beliefs are
challenged Ethics are constructed over time from
Your parents Your culture Your religion Your education Your friends
Ethics are your measuring stick for right and wrong
Changing values Changing expectations Changing attitudes Difference in opinion of what’s “right” and
what’s “wrong”
Is your goal to achieve?1. Popularity2. Knowledge3. Fame 4. Integrity5. Wealth
If your highest aspiration is anything but integrity, you will make compromises to get there.
Integrity is defined as: “adherence to moral and ethical principles;
soundness of moral character; honesty” – Dictionary.com
“firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values” – Merriam Webster
Know your values Know your beliefs Know where your boundaries are Know where your line is between right and
wrong Ask yourself what you are willing to accept
and still be able to maintain your integrity.
On etiquette, of course…
Tell him or her where to sit
Offer him or her your seat
Tell him or her to sit any where
Say nothing about where to sit
Tell him or her where to sit
Sit in the chair nearest the door
Sit in the chair nearest the other person
Ask where to sit
Remain standing until told where to sit
Remain standing until told where to sit
Immediately
As soon as he or she returns eye contact
When introduced
As the other person initiates the handshake
When introduced
Be quiet and hope the person forgot as well
Send flowers immediately
Call and apologize
Send a handwritten note of apology
Call and apologize
The one to whom you are speaking
Each person moving in a rapid clockwise direction
No one in particular
Each person looking directly at each one
Each person looking directly at each one
Skip the person and move on
Apologize and ask the person his or her name
Make a joke about never remembering names
Use a generic name hoping you will be corrected
Apologize and ask the person his or her name
State the correction loudly
Casually mention the correction and then drop it
Ignore the error
Make a joke about it
Casually mention the correction and then drop it
For proper etiquette…
Greeting Dressing Communicating Being Honest
For both friends and soon to be friends…
By Mohandas Gandhi
Rise (if possible) if you are seated Make eye contact Say hello or give a greeting Introduce yourself (if not being introduced) Smile Initiate or receive a handshake (If you
know the person is involved with Phi Theta Kappa, a hug is appropriate; if they are not, do NOT hug)
Remember that everyone (even clerical and custodial employees) is important—treat with respect
Your hand should be dry Grip the hand palm to palm Use a firm grip, but not too firm Maintain eye contact (in U.S. culture) Maintain the handshake for 3-4 seconds Do not “pump” the hand Say something
Say the name of the “power” people first—introduce them to others
President Smith, may I introduce Tom Jones, our vice president of relations. President Smith has been our college president for seven years.
Introduce younger people to older people Make introductions while standing (unless
seated at a table and presentations have begun)
Use first names only if given permission Say something about the people to
facilitate discussion
Use formal names titles, especially with higher ranking and older people
If you forgot a name, be straightforward and say something such as, “Your name was on the tip of my tongue a minute ago, please help me out.”
Never assume to use someone’s first name. Wait for permission, such as, “Please call me Ruth.”
Remember they are not seeds—do not give them out at random
Your card should be clean and in good condition
Hand the card to the receiver face up so it can be read by him or her
Hold the card by one of the top corners (by both top corners if presenting to people from Asia)
Allow the receiver time to look at the card
Take the card as it was presented (with one or two hands) and grasp it at the bottom corner(s)
Take a few moments to look at the card, especially the name and title
Make a positive comment about the card Place the card in a card case, front pocket,
or portfolio pocket (never in your back pocket)
Accept the card whether you want it or not Never fold the card Never write on the card
For the proper impression…
By Buck Rodgers, Author of The IBM Way
Your body language Posture Eye contact Facial expression—A smile perhaps
Your appearance Clean, pressed clothing Polished and professional
Your words
Sophistication Confidence Social Status Ethical Trustworthy Successful Educated Healthy Awareness (of yourself and others)
Practice what you might say Consider what your audience would like to
hear Say something from the other perspective From their perspective (not yours) will leave a lasting
impact Be prepared with small talk subjects to
discuss Be comfortable giving and receiving
compliments
Neat hair and facial hair Clean fingernails No visible tattoos or body jewelry Light or no perfume or cologne Limited jewelry Stockings without runs and teams Good, clean, closed-toe shoes Belts on pants Socks that coordinate
Represent yourself and your organization Conservative Consistent Respectful Impressive
Follow the 80/20 rule: 80% of your outfit traditional and have fun with 20% (accessorize)
Consider how your outfit will change throughout the work day
Visible bra straps and panty lines Low-rise and high-waisted jeans Socks with sandals Shoes you cannot walk in Clothes that do not fit Not dressing age-appropriately Muffin tops Dressing monochromatic Sneakers and flip flops Short shorts or baggy shorts
Be positive at ALL times Overcome biases and stereotypes Focus on successes, no matter how small Expect the unexpected Do NOT gossip Realize:
You are what you think You have an impact on ALL around you
For best results…
By Adlai Stevenson II, politician
The person introducing you should have given you a shared interest or topic, so use it
Some safe topics: Weather Travel, if the person traveled a distance Humorous items in the news
Some unsafe topics: Yourself and your achievement Politics Religion
Think about someone who does not listen to you How would you describe the person’s actions How do you know he or she is NOT listening How does it make you feel
Think about someone you know listens to you How would you describe the person’s actions How do you know he or she is listening How does it make you feel
Pay attention Look at the speaker Observe the speaker’s body language Develop rapport Be mindful of your body language
Ask questions for clarity Listen for the meaning or intention Develop empathy Do not judge—be objective (it’s not about
you) Respond appropriately
What is the purpose What is the best method of communication What is the best time and place to
communicate How will the receiver react What outcomes or expectations are there
Introduce yourself and the purpose of your call Always be respectful of time, ask if it is a good
time to talk or when is a good time Be organized with your call—make and outline
and notes before calling Avoid distracting noises in the background Never place someone on hold without asking Return calls as quickly as possible Make notes about the call, but do not be
distracted
Speak clearly Sound positive and upbeat Speak somewhat slowly Identify yourself and your phone number Be brief and to the point—similar to bullets State any expectations and when you
might follow up with the person Leave your name and number again
Always reply to messages Use a good subject line Do NOT use emoticons or text-speak Keep it short Watch out for reply to ALL
Must be neat and professional Use readable fonts and spacing Keep it short Use bullets as necessary Have an introduction and conclusion Identify expectations and deadlines
With yourself and others…
By Woodrow Wilson, 28th American president
(1856-1924)
Never appear to be “Too Busy” for people Mingle—share the love Greet friends as well as strangers
Never be “Monopolized” by people After a few minutes of conversation, politely excuse
yourself and move to someone else Listen, but keep it short (Help each other out by watching for this)
Do not be the first in line for food Wear good quality shoes so you can walk
Remember the 80/20 rule—listen 80%/talk 20%
Be aware of your body language Watch your facial expressions Use people’s names (they like that) Always say “Please” and “Thank You” Never forget:
You are there to serve and assist You are NOT there to be served
Remain calm and cool Empathize with those involved Accept responsibility (or partial
responsibility) if it will help the situation Review alternatives Create an action plan Take action Review progress at a later time
Apologize immediately(The longer you wait, the worse it gets)
Look and act as though you mean it Talk to the person directly
(If necessary, send a handwritten card and gift)
Ask for forgiveness Never make excuses Try to make amends
By Ani Difranco, American Singer and Songwriter
Just for fun…
A young man holds the door for an older woman
A young woman holds the door for an older man
Whoever goes in first
Never hold the door, this is old-fashioned
A young man holds the door for an older woman
A young woman holds the door for an older man
Whoever goes in first
On the floor
Hanging over the back or arm of the chair
On the table to the right of the plate
On your lap or between your lap and the chair
On your lap or between your lap and the chair
As you normally would
If it is expensive, wear more to impress others
Sparingly
None
Sparingly
To the speaker’s right
To the speaker’s left
Directly in the middle
Never
To the speaker’s right.
State and organization flags are on the speaker’s left
The host
The visitor
It does not matter
It depends
It depends.
If there is a doorman, the visitor goes first. If the door is stopped, the host goes first, pushes, and greets visitor on other side.
Your left side of the chest
Your right side of the chest
Either is fine
Your right side
During a hand shake the other person’s eyes follow your right arm. (Strangely, most people wear theirs on the left.)
France
Germany
Japan
Brazil
Russia
All of them
It is the best known gesture in America. In France it means zero, worthless. In Japan it means money, and in the other three it is a signal of a private bodily orifice
In private only
In the public bathroom
Before going indoors or outside
At the table
At your desk
In a meeting
In private and in the bathroom, in private
Make sure your cell is fully charged and the ringer is on
Turn the ringer to vibrate
Turn your cell off
Inform those attending that you are expecting a call
Turn your cell off