THEORIES OF CONFLICT

Different Theories on ConflictBy Brittany McComas, eHow Contributor

The theory of conflict is timeless, yet conflict changes with time.

Some define conflict as a struggle for social status, or for scarce resources. Conflict even arises in the form of communication. Conflict in communication is functional when norms and values of the culture are stable, and individual opinions and viewpoints are respected; however, conflict is dysfunctional when it becomes emotionally charged. With the scope of violence and technology changing dramatically in the twentieth century, knowledge of conflict different theories has increased considerably.

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1. Emotional Conflicto People's aspirations and gratifications can be a host for conflict. Hostility, for

instance, in rational or non-rational behavior has a much bigger role than incompatible differences in terms of conflict. In hostility, it no longer remains

that two parties have incompatible differences or goals; it also implies both parties have resistance toward the other party's thought or principle. Rational behavior promotes a compromise of outcome. One must determine possible outcomes, payoffs of each outcome and then determine the suitable outcome for both parties. Non-rational behavior warrants a specific goal of one party, and intention to maintain that goal can get carried away by hostile emotions.

Social Conflicto The German theorist and political activist, Karl Marx, developed a theory that

emphasizes a materialistic view of history and a more critical stance toward existing social arrangements within political and economic structures of society. The Marxist view is on the materialist premise that the most important determining factor of social life is the people's labor that provides basic necessities of life such as food, clothing and shelter. Marx thought that the social organization within labor has a strong impact on all aspects of society, and maintained that everything of value in society is a result of human labor. Karl Marx's view was that working men and women create their own existence.

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Technological and Scientific Conflicto One theory of conflict involves the impact of technological and scientific

progress on social interaction within history and the homo sapien future, forcing the homo sapien to live in confusion. Scientific knowledge and inventions can lead to weak family ties that cripple social mobility because of a lack of physical communication. The quality of life, satisfaction and life standards are lowered, leading to such things as a high divorce rate. A better life through science and technology has actually increased conflict in many areas of the world under the principle of change as "modernization" or "post-modernization."

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Conflict theoryFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Contents

  [hide]

1 In classical sociology

2 Modern approaches

3 Types of conflict theory

4 See also

5 References

[edit]In classical sociology

Of the classical founders of social science, conflict theory is most commonly associated with Karl Marx (1818–

1883). Based on a dialectical materialistaccount of history, Marxism posited that capitalism, like previous

socioeconomic systems, would inevitably produce internal tensions leading to its own destruction.[1] Marx

ushered in radical change, advocating proletarian revolution and freedom from the ruling classes. At the same

time, Karl Marx was aware that most of the people living in capitalist societies did not see how the system

shaped the entire operation of society. Just like how we see private property, or the right to pass that property

on to our children as natural, many of members in capitalistic societies see the rich as having earned their

wealth through hard work and education, while seeing the poor as lacking in skill and initiative. Marx rejected

this type of thinking and termed it false consciousness,explanations of social problems as the shortcomings of

individuals rather than the flaws of society. Marx wanted to replace this kind of thinking with something he

termed class consciousness, workers' recognition of themselves as a class unified in opposition to capitalist

and ultimately to the capitalist system itself. In general, Marx wanted the proletarians to rise up against the

capitalist and overthrow the capitalist system.[2]

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Freeman and slave, patrician and plebeian,

lord and serf, guild-master and journeyman, in a word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one

another, carried on an uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in a

revolutionary re-constitution of society at large, or in the common ruin of the contending classes.

— Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels The Communist Manifesto 1848, [3]

In the social productions of their existence, men inevitably enter into definite relations, which are independent of their

will, namely relations of production appropriate to a given stage in the development of their material forces of

production. The totality of these relations of production constitutes the economic structure of society, the real

foundation, on which arises a legal and political superstructure and to which correspond definite forms of social

consciousness. The mode of production of material life conditions the general process of social, political and

intellectual life. It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existence, but their social existence that

determines their consciousness. At a certain stage of development, the material productive forces of society come

into conflict with the existing relations of production or – this merely expresses the same thing in legal terms – with

the property relations within the framework of which they have operated hitherto. From forms of development of the

productive forces, these relations turn into their fetters. Then an era of social revolution begins. The changes in the

economic foundation lead sooner or later to the transformation of the whole immense superstructure. In studying

such transformations it is always necessary to distinguish between the material transformation of the economic

conditions of production, which can be determined with the precision of natural science, and the legal, political,

religious, artistic or philosophic – in short, ideological forms in which men become conscious of this conflict and fight it

out. Just as one does not judge an individual by what he thinks about himself, so one cannot judge such a period of

transformation by its consciousness, but, on the contrary, this consciousness must be explained from the

contradictions of material life, from the conflict existing between the social forces of production and the relations of

production. No social order is ever destroyed before all the productive forces for which it is sufficient have been

developed, and new superior relations of production never replace older ones before the material conditions for their

existence have matured within the framework of the old society. Mankind thus inevitably sets itself only such tasks as

it is able to solve, since closer examination will always show that the problem itself arises only when the material

conditions for its solution are already present or at least in the course of formation. In broad outline, the Asiatic,

ancient, [A] feudal and modern bourgeois modes of production may be designated as epochs marking progress in the

economic development of society. The bourgeois mode of production is the last antagonistic form of the social

process of production – antagonistic not in the sense of individual antagonism but of an antagonism that emanates

from the individuals' social conditions of existence – but the productive forces developing within bourgeois society

create also the material conditions for a solution of this antagonism. The prehistory of human society accordingly

closes with this social formation.

— Karl Marx A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy 1859, [4]

Two early conflict theorists were the Polish-Austrian sociologist and political theorist Ludwig

Gumplowicz (1838–1909) and the American sociologist and paleontologist Lester F. Ward (1841–1913).

Although Ward and Gumplowicz developed their theories independently they had much in common and

approached conflict from a comprehensive anthropological and evolutionary point-of-view as opposed to Marx's

rather exclusive focus on economic factors.

Gumplowicz, in Grundriss der Soziologie (Outlines of Sociology, 1884), describes how civilization has been

shaped by conflict between cultures and ethnic groups. Gumplowicz theorized that large complex human

societies evolved from the war and conquest. Another organizes states around the domination of one group:

masters and slaves. Eventually a complex caste system develops.[5] Horowitz says that Gumplowicz

understood conflict in all its forms: "class conflict, race conflict and ethnic conflict", and calls him one of the

fathers of Conflict Theory.[6]

What happened in India, Babylon, Egypt, Greece and Rome may sometime happen in modern Europe. European

civilization may perish, over flooded by barbaric tribes. But if any one believes that we are safe from such

catastrophes he is perhaps yielding to an all too optimistic delusion. There are no barbaric tribes in our

neighbourhood to be sure — but let no one be deceived, their instincts lie latent in the populace of European states.

— Gumplowicz (1884), [7]

Ward directly attacked and attempted to systematically refute the elite business class's laissez-faire philosophy

as espoused by the hugely popular social philosopher Herbert Spencer. Ward'sDynamic Sociology (1883) was

an extended thesis on how to reduce conflict and competition in society and thus optimize human progress. At

the most basic level Ward saw human nature itself to be deeply conflicted between self-aggrandizement and

altruism, between emotion and intellect, and between male and female. These conflicts would be then reflected

in society and Ward assumed there had been a "perpetual and vigorous struggle" among various "social

forces" that shaped civilization.[8][9] Ward was more optimistic than Marx and Gumption and believed that it was

possible to build on and reform present social structures with the help of sociological analysis.

Durkheim (1858–1917) saw society as a functioning organism. Functionalism concerns "the effort to impute, as

rigorously as possible, to each feature, custom, or practice, its effect on the functioning of a supposedly stable,

cohesive system,"[10] The chief form of social conflict that Durkheim addressed was crime. Durkheim saw crime

as "a factor in public health, an integral part of all healthy societies."[11] The collective conscience defines

certain acts as "criminal." Crime thus plays a role in the evolution of morality and law: "[it] implies not only that

the way remains open to necessary changes but that in certain cases it directly prepares these changes."[12]

Weber's (1864–1920) approach to conflict is contrasted with that of Marx. While Marx focused on the way

individual behavior is conditioned by social structure, Weber emphasized the importance of "social action," i.e.,

the ability of individuals to affect their social relationships.[13]

[edit]Modern approaches

C. Wright Mills has been called the founder of modern conflict theory.[14] In Mills's view, social structures are

created through conflict between people with differing interests and resources. Individuals and resources, in

turn, are influenced by these structures and by the "unequal distribution of power and resources in the

society."[14] The power elite of American society, (i.e., themilitary–industrial complex) had "emerged from the

fusion of the corporate elite, the Pentagon, and the executive branch of government." Mills argued that the

interests of this elite were opposed to those of the people. He theorized that the policies of the power elite

would result in "increased escalation of conflict, production of weapons of mass destruction, and possibly the

annihilation of the human race."[14]

Gene Sharp (born 21 January 1928) is a Professor Emeritus of political science at the University of

Massachusetts Dartmouth.[15] He is known for his extensive writings on nonviolent struggle, which have

influenced numerous anti-government resistance movements around the world. In 1983 he founded the Albert

Einstein Institution, a non-profit organization devoted to studies and promotion of the use of nonviolent action in

conflicts worldwide.[16] Sharp's key theme is that power is not monolithic; that is, it does not derive from some

intrinsic quality of those who are in power. For Sharp, political power, the power of any state—regardless of its

particular structural organization—ultimately derives from the subjects of the state. His fundamental belief is

that any power structure relies upon the subjects' obedience to the orders of the ruler(s). If subjects do not

obey, leaders have no power. Sharp has been called both the "Machiavelli of nonviolence" and the "Clausewitz

of nonviolent warfare."[17] Sharp's scholarship has influenced resistance organizations around the world. Most

recently the protest movement that toppled President Mubarak of Egypt drew extensively on his ideas, as well

as the youth movement in Tunisia and the earlier ones in the Eastern European color revolutions that had

previously been inspired by Sharp's work.[18]

A recent articulation of conflict theory is found in Alan Sears' (Canadian sociologist) book A Good Book, in

Theory: A Guide to Theoretical Thinking (2008):[19]

Societies are defined by inequality that produces conflict, rather than which produces order and

consensus. This conflict based on inequality can only be overcome through a fundamental transformation

of the existing relations in the society, and is productive of new social relations.

The disadvantaged have structural interests that run counter to the status quo, which, once they are

assumed, will lead to social change. Thus, they are viewed as agents of change rather than objects one

should feel sympathy for.

Human potential (e.g., capacity for creativity) is suppressed by conditions of exploitation and oppression,

which are necessary in any society with an unequal division of labour. These and other qualities do not

necessarily have to be stunted due to the requirements of the so-called "civilizing process," or "functional

necessity": creativity is actually an engine for economic development and change.

The role of theory is in realizing human potential and transforming society, rather than maintaining the

power structure. The opposite aim of theory would be the objectivity and detachment associated

with positivism, where theory is a neutral, explanatory tool.

Consensus is a euphemism for ideology. Genuine consensus is not achieved, rather the more powerful in

societies are able to impose their conceptions on others and have them accept theirdiscourses.

Consensus does not preserve social order, it entrenches stratification, e.g., the American dream.

The State serves the particular interests of the most powerful while claiming to represent the interests of

all. Representation of disadvantaged groups in State processes may cultivate the notion of full

participation, but this is an illusion/ideology.

Inequality on a global level is characterized by the purposeful underdevelopment of Third World countries,

both during colonization and after national independence. The global system (i.e., development agencies

such as World Bank and International Monetary Fund) benefits the most powerful countries and multi-

national corporations, rather than the subjects of development, through economic, political, and military

actions.

Although Sears associates the conflict theory approach with Marxism, he argues that it is the foundation for

much "feminist, post-modernist, anti-racist, and lesbian-gay liberationist theories."[20]

[edit]Types of conflict theory

Conflict theory is most commonly associated with Marxism, but as a reaction to functionalism and

the positivist method may also be associated with number of other perspectives, including:

Critical theory

Feminist theory : The advocacy of social equality for women and men, in opposition to patriarchy and

sexism.[21]

Postmodern theory : An approach that is critical of modernism, with a mistrust of grand theories and

ideologies.[21]

Post-structural theory

Postcolonial theory

Queer theory : A growing body of research findings that challenges the heterosexual bias in Western

society.[21]

World systems theory

Race-Conflict Approach : A point of view that focuses on inequality and conflict between people of different

racial and ethnic categories.[21]

[edit]See also

Game theory

Social defeat

Social-conflict theory

Sociology of peace, war, and social conflict

Structural functionalism

Conflict Management

[edit]References

1. ̂  Baird, Forrest E.; Walter Kaufmann (2008). From Plato to Derrida. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey:

Pearson Prentice Hall. ISBN 0-13-158591-6.

2. ̂  Macionis, J. J. (2011). Society. Sociology (7th ed., pp. 88-89). Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall.

3. ̂  Marx and Engels, The Communist Manifesto, introduction by Martin Malia (New York: Penguin group,

1998), pg. 35 ISBN 0-451-52710-0

4. ̂  Marx A Contribution to the Critique of Political

Economy, http://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1859/critique-pol-economy/preface.htm

5. ̂  Fifty Key Sociologists: the Formative Theorists, John Scott Irving, 2007, pg 59

6. ̂  "Communicating Ideas: The Politics of Scholarly Publishing", Irving Louis Horowitz, 1986, pg 281

7. ̂  "Outlines of Sociology", pg 196

8. ̂  "Transforming Leadership", James MacGregor Burns, 2004, pg 189

9. ̂  "German Realpolitik and American Sociology: an Inquiry Into the Sources and Political Significance of the

Sociology of Conflict", James Alfred Aho, 1975, ch. 6 'Lester F. Ward's Sociology of Conflict'

10. ̂  Bourricaud, F. 'The Sociology of Talcott Parsons' Chicago University Press. ISBN 0-226-06756-4. p. 94

11. ̂  Durkheim, E. (1938). The Rules of Sociological Method. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press. p. 67.

12. ̂  Durkheim, (1938), pp. 70–81.

13. ̂  Livesay, C. Social Inequality: Theories: Weber. Sociology Central. A-Level Sociology Teaching Notes.

Retrieved on: 2010-06-20.

14. ^ a b c Knapp, P. (1994). One World – Many Worlds: Contemporary Sociological Theory (2nd Ed.).

Harpercollins College Div, pp. 228–246. Online summary ISBN 978-0-06-501218-7

15. ̂  "Gene Sharp: Author of the nonviolent revolution rulebook". BBC News. 21 February 2011.

16. ̂  Gene Sharp biography at Albert Einstein Institution web site.

17. ̂  Weber, Thomas. Gandhi as Disciple and Mentor. Cambridge University Press, Cambridge 2004[page needed]

18. ̂  "Shy U.S. Intellectual Created Playbook Used in a Revolution". The New York Times. 16 February 2011.

19. ̂  Sears, Alan. (2008) A Good Book, In Theory: A Guide to Theoretical Thinking. North York: Higher

Education University of Toronto Press, pg. 34-6.

20. ̂  Sears, pg. 36.

21. ^ a b c d Macionis, J., and Gerber, L. (2010). Sociology, 7th edition

Stark, Rodney (2007). Sociology (10th ed.). thomas wadsworth. ISBN 0-495-09344-0.

Lenski, Gerhard E. (1966). Power and Privilege: A Theory of Social Stratificaion. McGraw-Hill. ISBN 0-07-

037165-2.

Collins, Randall  (1994). Four Sociological Traditions: Selected Readings. Oxford University Press.. ISBN 0-19-

508702-X.

Thio, Alex  (2008). Sociology: A Brief Introduction (7th ed.). Pearson. ISBN 0-205-40785-4.

 CONFLICT THEORY

The several social theories that emphasize social conflict have roots in the ideas ofKarl Marx (1818-1883), the great German theorist and political activist. The Marxist, conflict approach emphasizes a materialist interpretation of history, a dialectical method of analysis, a critical stance toward existing social arrangements, and a political program of revolution or, at least, reform.

The materialist view of history starts from the premise that the most important determinant of social life is the work people are doing, especially work that results in provision of the basic necessities of life, food, clothing and shelter. Marx thought that the way the work is socially organized and the technology used in production will have a strong impact on every other aspect of society. He maintained that everything of value in society results from human labor. Thus, Marx saw working men and women as engaged in making society, in creating the conditions for their own existence.

Marx summarized the key elements of this materialist view of history as follows:

In the social production of their existence, men inevitably enter into definite relations, which are independent of their will, namely relations of production appropriate to a given stage in the development of their material forces of production. The totality of these relations of production constitutes the economic structure of society, the real foundation, on which arises a legal and political superstructure and to which correspond definite forms of social consciousness. The mode of production of material life conditions the general process of social, political and intellectual life. It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existence, but their social existence that determines their consciousness (Marx 1971:20).

Marx divided history into several stages, conforming to broad patterns in the economic structure of society. The most important stages for Marx's argument were feudalism,capitalism, and socialism. The bulk of Marx's writing is concerned with applying the materialist model of society to capitalism, the stage of economic and social development that Marx saw as dominant in 19th century Europe. For Marx, the central institution of capitalist society is private property, the system by which capital (that is, money, machines, tools, factories, and other material objects used in production) is controlled by a small minority of the population. This arrangement leads to two opposed classes, the owners of capital (called the bourgeoisie) and the workers (called theproletariat), whose only property is their own labor time, which they have to sell to the capitalists.

Owners are seen as making profits by paying workers less than their work is worth and, thus, exploiting them. (In Marxist terminology, material forces of production ormeans of production include capital, land, and labor, whereas social relations of production refers to the division of labor and implied class relationships.)

Economic exploitation leads directly to political oppression, as owners make use of their economic power to gain control of the state and turn it into a servant of bourgeois economic interests. Police power, for instance, is used to enforce property rights and guarantee unfair contracts between capitalist and worker. Oppression also takes more subtle forms: religion serves capitalist interests by pacifying the population; intellectuals, paid directly or indirectly by capitalists, spend their careers justifying and rationalizing the existing social and economic arrangements. In sum, the economic structure of society molds the superstructure, including ideas (e.g., morality, ideologies, art, and literature) and the social institutions that support the class structure of society (e.g., the state, the educational system, the family, and religious institutions). Because the dominant or ruling class (the bourgeoisie) controls the social relations of production, the dominant ideology in capitalist society is that of the ruling class. Ideology and social institutions, in turn, serve to reproduce and perpetuate the economic class structure. Thus, Marx viewed the exploitative economic arrangements of capitalism as the real foundation upon which the superstructure of social, political, and intellectual consciousness is built. (Figure 1 depicts this model of historical materialism.)

Marx's view of history might seem completely cynical or pessimistic, were it not for the possibilities of change revealed by his method of dialectical analysis. (The Marxistdialectical method, based on Hegel's earlier idealistic dialectic, focuses attention on how an existing social arrangement, or thesis, generates its social opposite, orantithesis, and on how a qualitatively different social form, or synthesis,

emerges from the resulting struggle.) Marx was an optimist. He believed that any stage of history based on exploitative economic arrangements generated within itself the seeds of its own destruction. For instance, feudalism, in which land owners exploited the peasantry, gave rise to a class of town-dwelling merchants, whose dedication to making profits eventually led to the bourgeois revolution and the modern capitalist era. Similarly, the class relations of capitalism will lead inevitably to the next stage, socialism. The class relations of capitalism embody a contradiction: capitalists need workers, and vice versa, but the economic interests of the two groups are fundamentally at odds. Such contradictions mean inherent conflict and instability, the class struggle. Adding to the instability of the capitalist system are the inescapable needs for ever-wider markets and ever-greater investments in capital to maintain the profits of capitalists. Marx expected that the resulting economic cycles of expansion and contraction, together with tensions that will build as the working class gains greater understanding of its exploited position (and thus attains class consciousness), will eventually culminate in a socialist revolution.

Despite this sense of the unalterable logic of history, Marxists see the need for social criticism and for political activity to speed the arrival of socialism, which, not being based on private property, is not expected to involve as many contradictions and conflicts as capitalism. Marxists believe that social theory and political practice are dialectically intertwined, with theory enhanced by political involvement and with political practice necessarily guided by theory. Intellectuals ought, therefore, to engage inpraxis, to combine political criticism and political activity. Theory itself is seen as necessarily critical and value-laden, since the prevailing social relations are based uponalienating and dehumanizing exploitation of the labor of the working classes.

Marx's ideas have been applied and reinterpreted by scholars for over a hundred years, starting with Marx's close friend and collaborator, Friedrich Engels (1825-95), who supported Marx and his family for many years from the profits of the textile factories founded by Engels' father, while Marx shut himself away in the library of the British Museum. Later, Vladimir I. Lenin (1870-1924), leader of the Russian revolution, made several influential contributions to Marxist theory. In recent years Marxist theory has taken a great variety of forms, notably the world-systems theory proposed by Immanuel Wallerstein (1974, 1980) and the comparative theory of revolutions put forward by Theda Skocpol (1980). Marxist ideas have also served as a starting point for many of the modern feminist theorists. Despite these applications, Marxism of any variety is still a minority position among American sociologists.

 

References

Marx, Karl. 1971. Preface to A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy, Tr. S. W. Ryanzanskaya, edited by M. Dobb. London: Lawrence & Whishart.

Skocpol, Theda. 1980. States and Social Revolutions: A Comparative Analysis of France, Russia, and China. New York: Cambridge University Press.

Wallerstein, Immanuel M. 1974. The Modern World-System: Capitalist Agriculture and the Origins of the European World-Economy in the Sixteenth Century. New York: Academic Press.

                  . 1980. The Modern World-System II: Mercantilism and the Consolidation of the European World-Economy, 1600-1750. New York: Academic Press.

CONFLICT THEORY & THE FAMILYDec 29, 2010 | By Linda Ray

Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty ImagesConflict theory addresses the way in which people within a unit struggle for power, how they disagree and what actions they take to compete for resources. Prestige and wealth often form the basis for the most intense competitions. Instead of buying into the myth that all families are harmonious entities, conflict theory challenges those assumptions to examine the ways in which family members struggle, according to California State University.BASICS

The theory of conflict within families starts with the premise that family members undergo conflicts and disharmony. The study includes family dynamics and the roles played by various family members. The

source of the power and the causes of the conflict must be identified. Included in the conflict theory as it applies to the family is the uncovering of how the family deals with changes and adversity.Keys to a Happy Marriage Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. But ends up... www.thoughts-about-god.com

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SIGNIFICANCE

When the family is dissected and sources of conflict and power identified, the family then can find better and more effective ways to communicate. Understanding can lead to a desire for change and motivate family members to participate to develop more positive relationships. Through the study of the family dynamics, members may become more empathic and understanding of the underlying causes of their conflict.EFFECTS

According to California State University, it is not possible to interact with other human beings without eventual conflict. Growth takes place within the context of conflict. Change and the ensuing conflicts it brings are normal and necessary for human growth and development. The primary goal should be for family members to learn how to manage the conflict so that it doesn't escalate and alienate others and lead to estranged relationships.FEATURES

Among the resources that present conflicts in families are time and money. Family members concerned with self-interest alone see a scarcity of both and present conflicting ideas of how each should be spent to make sure they receive their due. Love, affection, power to make decisions and knowledge also are commodities seen as scarce resources. Conflict negotiations highlight these needs and agree they exist.RESOLUTIONS

Once the family understands the complexities of their motivations and intent, it can find resolutions, according to the University of Akron. Families can learn to express their feelings in a safe environment where each member receives a certain amount of uninterrupted time to talk. Ground rules may be set that discourage raised voices or physical acts. Discussion remains focused on each issue and does not turn to personal attacks. Each family member must believe that a solution is possible and then participate in finding it. Hindsight then can be used to settle future conflicts.Conflict Styles Trainers Powerful dashboard to manage users as they take online inventory. www.RiverhouseEpress.com

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REFERENCES

California State University: Conflict Theory University of Akron: Family Crisis

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/345499-conflict-theory-the-family/#ixzz25UkHHLS0

Conflict Theory

 

 

What Is the Purpose of Conflict Theory?

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How to Apply Sociological Theory to Topics

Sociological theory is a collection of interrelated ideas that concentrate on the systematic study of the social world. The use of sociological theory combines the application of the

method with a collection of sociological observations and understandings to form a unique field of human analysis that is largely focused with group behavior, social understanding and the nature of people as social creatures. Sociological theory provides a foundation to understand why people associate with groups and even predict their reactions to various opposing ideas that are counter to their group identity.

Conflict That May Arise With Diverse Social Groups

Diversity allows individuals to learn about the cultural, religious or social ideals of others. Unfortunately, conflict can arise from this diversity, either through inherited ideals in your children, rhetoric-fueled media or an unhealthy avoidance of important social ideas. Some conflict can be turned positive, if you know how to address it when the situation occurs.

Differences Between Globalization and Internationalization

Although the terms "globalization" and "internationalization" are sometimes used interchangeably to describe economic, political and or cultural activities throughout the world, there are several key differences between the two words. The term globalization is consistently utilized to describe the dramatic changes the world is undergoing, as new technology and modern economics have led to increasingly interconnected economies and cultures; internationalization more often refers to specific, economic activities certain firms or nations are undertaking internationally.

What Are the Causes of Intrastate Conflict?

Intrastate conflict is the technical name for armed conflicts that occur within the borders of a state. One common example for an intrastate conflict is a civil war; however, not all intrastate conflicts come down to secessionism. In fact, entire academic and government organizations, such as Harvard University's Belfer Center, study how and why intrastate conflicts occur throughout the world. Such conflicts are usually complex and are not caused by one thing. Instead, multiple reasons may explain any intrastate conflict.

Ways to Prevent Conflict

Preventing a conflict often starts with deciding to compromise on final decisions. While conflict is natural and sometimes constructive, reacting poorly to conflict can lead to dangerous problems. However, the method a group or individual has for addressing or avoiding a conflict can itself lead to serious conflicts that halt progress.

Models of Conflict

Conflict is a feature of human society that takes many forms, from disagreements between individuals to global wars. Conflict occurs within small groups, within societies and between societies, and is caused by a complex range of factors that are not fully

comprehended. Social scientists seek to understand the causes of conflict by constructing theoretical models about its origins.

Intercultural Conflict Styles

Just like any other situation, the rules for the polite way to handle problems are specific to a particular culture. The way that different cultures deal with conflict is largely based on the context of the culture. Cultural context is a concept developed by Edward T. Hall, a cultural anthropologist who developed several cultural dimensions to help explain differences between cultures. The concept of context has to do with how much information a person in a culture overtly states, and how much is encoded in the context of the situation.

What Were the Causes of Conflict With the Phoenicians?

The greatest assets of the Phoenicians were their greatest liabilities and the cause of conflicts with other nations. Although Phoenicia developed a powerful empire in the first millennium B.C. it was a mercantile empire and never one that was extended by military power. The Phoenicians had little tradition of warfare. Their country was located in the area now comprised by Lebanon and parts of Syria and Israel.

What Underlies Conflict?

The many reasons people become conflicted often are personal, such as a quest for better self-understanding or whether to change jobs. The root lies in the Latin word "conflictus," meaning to strike together or clash. Conflict in the form of battles and wars are often caused by competing interests and a fight for power.

How to Apply Conflict Theory to Culture

Conflict theory originated from the thoughts and writings of Karl Marx. Essentially, conflict theorists postulate that society is comprised of various groups with competing interests. In this theoretical model, groups work to further their own interests while undermining the interests of other groups. A conflict theorist would likely believe that poverty and crime are caused by economic and social factors rather than by innate character flaws such as laziness, deviance or moral problems. In order to apply conflict theory to culture, it is necessary to understand the differing groups that make up society and how conflicting interests can create inequality.

Ideas on Conflict Theory On Poverty

American thought is largely based on liberal enlightenment ideals, which portray society as a group of individuals who work together to promote rational thought and preserve individual liberties. Over time, this leads to a more egalitarian, humane and advanced society. Conversely, conflict theorists view society as an amalgamation of discrete groups who promote certain interests at the expense of other members of society. This leads to inequality that results in poverty, crime and other problems.

Four Responses to Conflict Reaction

Conflict occurs everywhere: in the home, in the office and even on the street. Two or more people disagree about something and each side becomes more frustrated and angry as the seconds pass. A verbal, or even physical, altercation could occur during a situation like this, but there are healthy ways to handle a conflict and ways to react to conflicts that can improve the relationship.

Ways Diversity Leads to Conflict

Human beings are a pretty diverse group. Differences in ethnicity, gender, gender orientation and religious beliefs are all forms of diversity. When diverse groups meet, oftentimes they co-exist and get along. Unfortunately, in the real world diversity sometimes leads to conflict.

Ethnic Conflicts in the 21st Century

There are many ethnic conflicts currently taking place in the 21st century, some of which started recently and others that have been going on for decades. A majority of these conflicts are in the Middle East, but there are many other ethnic conflicts in different parts of the world.

Solutions for Conflict Diamonds

Conflict diamonds are diamonds that originate in warring nations where rebel and terrorist groups commit heinous crimes against citizens to control the local diamond trade and finance their war efforts. By the year 2000, at least 4 million murders had reportedly been fueled by aims to control the $7.5 billion in annual revenue generated from the blood diamond trade, which then accounted for 4 to 15 percent of all diamonds on the market around the world. By 2006, international regulatory efforts had diminished that presence to approximately 0.2 percent.

What Are the Factors That Cause Conflict?

Times of conflict can mean heated emotions and charged words, so it's important to understand the root causes of a problematic situation. Conflict is inevitable and not always curable, especially if the two sides become distracted with irrelevant or inconsequential details. Considering these factors of conflict can help identify the more rectifiable issues present in most conflicts.

Parents of Juveniles in Conflict

There are many reasons why some juveniles end up in conflict with the law. Hanging with the wrong crowd and curiosity are viable considerations, but many experts believe the family structure has more influence over a child's success, or lack thereof, than any other factor. Broken homes are a leading cause for young people breaking the law. Without structure at home, juveniles are more likely to not adhere to the structures of society. While there are some parents of juvenile delinquents who are model citizens and provide the "ideal" household for their children, many parents cannot or do not foster…

What Is Meso Conflict?

The term "meso conflict" describes a stage in the development of human power struggles between interpersonal or small group conflicts and full-scale war. Commonly used in academic social science papers, a "meso conflict" refers to the developmental stage in human conflicts that is limited to institutions or communities.

Different Theories on Conflict

Some define conflict as a struggle for social status, or for scarce resources. Conflict even arises in the form of communication. Conflict in communication is functional when norms and values of the culture are stable, and individual opinions and viewpoints are respected; however, conflict is dysfunctional when it becomes emotionally charged. With the scope of violence and technology changing dramatically in the twentieth century, knowledge of conflict different theories has increased considerably.

How to Discuss Functionalist and Conflict Theories

Functionalist and conflict theories are both major social science theories relating to the individual, the collective and society. Functionalism looks at the way that the individual and society interact to create the things necessary for a society to be formed. Conflict theory examines the societal structure with materialism, and work, being the most important contribution an individual can make to the whole. Functionalism is based on the work of French sociologist Emile Durkheim, while much of conflict theory is based upon work done by Karl Marx.

What Are the Types of Social Conflict Theories?

Social conflict is theorized to occur when an imbalance exists regarding money, resources or power. The conflict can happen in any setting -- global, industrial or familial. While research and case studies may report the details of how, when, why and where a social conflict began or continues, the reasons behind the conflict and the actions of the social groups will generally fall into one of the following three categories.

How to Understand Conflict Theory

Conflict theory is based on the argument that every individual in a society, organization in a society or entire societies will strive to maximize their benefits, which ultimately leads to social change. Understanding conflict theory is challenging, since the entirety of human civilization has roots in conflict. To understand conflict theory thoroughly requires an understanding of conflict theory origins, conflict theory models and a variety of theoretical approaches to conflict theory, such as game theory. The best way to familiarize yourself with these elements of conflict theory is to read about them.

The Conflict Approach to Deviance

Sociology is the study of society and human behavior within a society. Conflict theory is one of many approaches which sociologists use to explain deviance within a society.

Theories of Land Conflict

Land conflict theory is a subset of conflict theory, a sociological perspective that focuses on structural antagonisms in society and their resolutions. Conflict theory is generally traced back to Marx, who first posited a sociological account of social conflict in his theses on class and capitalism. Conflict theory was subsequently taken up as an academic challenge to functionalist and positivist perspectives in the social sciences. Land conflict theory applies conflict theory premises to land disputes.

Interpersonal Conflict Theory

Interpersonal conflict theory seeks to explain why conflicts arise between two or more parties and helps people learn ways to resolve them. This theory can relate to romantic partners, friends, colleagues, relatives and others.

Constructivism Conflict

Constructivism is a form of epistemology, which is an approach to knowledge. In this approach, knowledge is not based on the accumulation of what is "out there." When applied to conflict, constructivism normally refers to national or other group actors interpreting their own history and sense of identity as they challenge others.

System Theory of Conflict

System theory is an approach to social life that stresses functional parts working together for a specific end. In general, this approach deals with what holds the organism together, yet when conflict theory is introduced, it explains how things fall apart. A system theory of conflict seeks to show how parts of a system do not always harmoniously work together.

Conflict Theory and Globalization

Conflict, or critical, theory is an approach to analyzing society that stresses the differences in power among social groups. This can be applied to classes within societies, or even to countries within the global economic and trading system. When conflict theory is applied to global politics, this same scheme is followed: the poorer countries of the world are contrasted with the wealthy ones. The wealthy create the rules that are then forced upon the poor.

Conflict Theory & Criminology

Conflict theory is the approach to social life that stresses the existence of unequal groups in society. In its most general form, conflict theory (sometimes called critical theory) holds that laws and moral codes are creations of the wealthy that are inflicted on the poor to control them. For criminologists then, conflict theory holds that the criminal justice system is the most violent form of this control.

Define Conflict Theory

Conflict, or critical theory, is a complex philosophical attack on modern political life. Usually, this body of thought is known as "critical" theory in philosophy, and "conflict" theory in the social sciences. The terms are identical. The chief method of critical writers begins with the idea that social life is based on the imposition of a legal and moral code on the poor by the wealthy. The inequality of social groups is the main starting point for this tradition.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Conflict Theory

Social life is the dominance of one group over another, and politics is the rhetorical justification of that group's control. This is the main claim of conflict/critical theory. Conflict theory has been one of the dominant modes of interpreting social life throughout most of the 20th century. It is vaguely associated with forms of socialism.

Keys of Conflict Theory

Conflict theory is a social theory seeking to explain why certain groups stay in power, and why there is conflict within societies and social groups. Karl Marx introduced the theory and it was later adopted by other theorists who did not accept that everyone within a

society has their place or that each is essential to keep the society functioning as a whole.

Conflict Theory & Religion

Conflict theory for religion is a natural outgrowth of the conflicts that naturally exist in cultures. Religious identity acts as an indicator of social status while incorporating the social status of the group into its religious worldview as an extension of its social status.

Conflict Theory

Conflict theory posits that social groups or classes compete with each other in order to obtain resources that the society deems important.

Conflict Theory & Deviance

The conflict perspective on deviance assumes that deviance, that is, behavior that departs from the social norm, is a social creation. It assumes that there is no "human nature" that sets a natural mode of behavior. Instead, conflict theory holds that it is the power structure in any given society that defines what is normal and what is not. Hence, deviance is the creation of the social structure, not something built into our nature.

Symbolic Interaction & Marxism Theory

Societies form bonds around certain symbols, such as flags, although they are not always universally interpreted the same way. In the 1950s and '60s, cultural Marxists began studying noneconomic factors that led to class conflict.

Essay on the Conflict Theory of Functionalism

Functionalism is the oldest of the major sociological theories and is the first to treat it as a pure science. Functionalists believe social structures can be studied rationally through surveys and interviews.

Theories of Deviance in Conflict Theory

The basic theory of deviance in social conflict centers around class warfare, in which the lower classes rebel against the upper classes who set the rules upon which society operates; laws are then generated to settle these conflicts. Any violation of these laws is seen as a deviant act.

Social-Conflict Theory

The seeds for social-conflict theory were planted in the 19th century but did not take root until the 1960s. The underlying tenet of social conflict is that the lower class is competing for resources against an upper class that controls the government, courts and industry.

Bowie Knife History

Colonel James "Jim" Bowie first gained recognition for his skill with a knife following his role in the "Sandbar Duel" in Mississippi in 1827. As the fame of Jim Bowie and his knife spread, demand for the "Bowie knife" grew.

Realism International Relations Theory

Realism is the oldest of the international relations theories. Its main premise is that every nation state's goal is to gain power to protect itself from other nations' attacks. The theory is based on survival of the fittest, a basic biological norm.

Read more: Conflict Theory - How To Information | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/conflict-theory/#ixzz25UkPWieL

Consider This Conflict Theory To Manage Conflict

Conflict is all around us, ranging from simple situations such as who left the dishes in the sink to major international disputes. There is a conflict theory that common stages are passed through as conflict develops. Here is one example:

Stages of Conflict

1. Discomfort

John feels that his manager, Gerard, does not keep him informed of what is happening in the business. John works primarily offsite with customers and can be away for long periods of time.

2. Incident

Gerard promotes Ann, John's colleague, based on her qualifications and experience.

3. Misunderstanding

John feels he missed out on the promotion he was expecting. He believes that this is because he is not based in the home office on a full time basis and he has been treated unfairly. He becomes mistrustful and negative towards his manager.

4. Tension

John's enthusiasm for the job starts to decrease. He does "what is necessary" to get by at work. His commitment to the business is diminished. Gerard becomes increasingly frustrated by John's attitude.

5. Crisis

Gerard challenges John over a customer complaint, words are exchanged and tempers flare.

When conflict reaches a crisis stage, a lot of time and effort is needed to get it resolved. Too often we avoid dealing with situations at the discomfort stage. We bury our feelings and don't discuss what is on our mind, hoping that the situation will resolve itself.

It is so much easier to communicate before resentment has started to grow. As a manager, be alert to conflict in its early stages and take steps to prevent it from escalating. This means being open to the other person's views, avoiding judgements and discussing until a resolution is reached for both parties.

Complex Conflict

There is a conflict theory that suggests mapping the issue can help in a complex situation, where many parties and interests are involved. This involves four stages:

1. Identify the issue2. Identify who is involved3. List the major needs and concerns of each party4. Categorise the tangible needs (which can be traded) or intangible needs (such as

work needed on building relationships)

If you map this as shown in the diagram, then you can look for areas where there is common agreement and areas which need to be given priority. It will help you to build an action plan and move the conflict into a more productive phase. It is important to respect and value differences, keep a broad perspective and recognise that this work may need a long timeframe.

Click on Definition of Conflict to discover how people's perception of conflict differs. It also covers role conflict and team conflict, and how best to manage it.

If you are in a crisis or near crisis situation, these Conflict Resolution Tips will give you some pointers to follow.

CONFLICT THEORY

In sociology, conflict theory states that society or an organization functions so that each individual

participant and its groups struggle to maximize their benefits, which inevitably contributes to social

change such as political changes and revolutions. The theory is mostly applied to explain conflict

between social classes, proletariat versus bourgeoisie; and in ideologies, such as capitalism

versus socialism. While conflict theory successfully describes instances where conflict occurs between

groups of people, for a variety of reasons, it is questionable whether this represents the ideal human

society. Although some theorists, such as Karl Marx, have claimed that growth and development occur

through the conflict between opposing parties, cooperation is also a source of healthy growth. It needs to

be determined under which situations, if any, conflict is necessary to produce change, as compared to

those under which cooperation and harmony lead to the greatest advances.

Contents

 [hide]

1 Conflict theory

2 Marx and conflict theory

3 Weber and conflict theory

4 Feminist conflict theory

5 Conflict theory applied to society

6 Notes

7 External links

8 Credits

Conflict theory

The history of conflict theory can be traced back to thinkers such as Machiavelli or Thomas Hobbes,

both of whom viewed humanity cynically. In its current form, conflict theory attempts to refute the

functionalist approach, which considers that societies and organizations function so that each individual

and group plays a specific role, like organs in the body. There are radical basic assumptions (society is

eternally in conflict, which might explainsocial change), or moderate ones (custom and conflict are always

mixed). The moderate version allows for functionalism to operate as an equally acceptable theory since it

would accept that even negative social institutions play a part in society's self-perpetuation.

The essence of conflict theory is best epitomized by the classic "pyramid structure" in which an elite

dictates terms to the larger masses. All major social structures, laws, and traditions in the society are

designed to support those who have traditionally been in power, or the groups that are perceived to be

superior in the society according to this theory. Conflict theorists would argue that all groups in society are

born from conflict. An example might be that of labor unions, which are developed to fight for the interests

of workers, whereas trade organizations are made to fight for the interests of the moneyed classes. This

theory of groups is opposed to functionalism in which each of these groups would play a specific, set role

in society. In functionalism, these groups cooperate to benefit society whereas in conflict theory the

groups are in opposition to one another as they seek to better their masters.

"It is in the interests of those who have wealth to keep and extend what they own, whereas it is in the

interests of those who have little or no wealth to try to improve their lot in life."[1] This can also be

expanded to include any society's morality, and by extension their definition of deviance. Anything that

challenges the control of the elite will likely be considered "deviant" or "morally reprehensible." The theory

can be applied on both the macro level (like the U.S. government or Soviet Russia, historically) or the

micro level (a church organization or school club). In summary, conflict theory seeks to catalog the ways

in which those in power seek to stay in power.

In understanding conflict theory, competition between social classes plays a key part. The following are

four primary assumptions of modern conflict theory:

1. Competition: Competition over scarce resources (money, leisure, sexual partners, and so on) is

at the heart of all social relationships. Competition rather than consensus is characteristic of

human relationships.

2. Structural inequality: Inequalities in power and reward are built into all social structures.

Individuals and groups that benefit from any particular structure strive to see it maintained.

3. Revolution: Change occurs as a result of conflict between social class's competing interests

rather than through adaptation. It is often abrupt and revolutionary rather than evolutionary.

4. War: Even war is a unifier of the societies involved, as well as war may set an end to whole

societies.

Conflict theory was elaborated in the United Kingdom by Max Gluckman and John Rex, in the United

States by Lewis A. Coser, and Randall Collins, and in Germany by Ralf Dahrendorf, all of them being less

or more influenced by Karl Marx, Ludwig Gumplovicz, Vilfredo Pareto, Georg Simmel, and other founding

fathers of European sociology.

Marx and conflict theory

Karl Marx argued that property is upheld by the state, making property struggles into political struggles

between owners and renters, capitalists and workers, and other groups. Material conditions determine the

ability of any of these groups to organize effectively politically. These material conditions are also what

enable one group to propagate their views to others in society. Because the owners clearly have an

advantage in material wealth, their views are spread more easily.[2]

For Marx, the conflict clearly arises because all things of value to man result from human labor. According

to Marx, capitalists exploit workers for their labor and do not share the fruits of these labors equally. This

exploitation is what allows the owning classes to dominate politically and to impose their ideology on the

workers of the world.[3]

Weber and conflict theory

Max Weber refined Marx's conflict theory. Weber stated that more than one conflict over property existed

at any given moment in any given society, which is more nuanced than Marx's theory that the only

struggle of importance was that between owners and workers. Weber included an emotional aspect of

conflict as well:

It is these that underlie the power of religion and make it an important ally of the state; that transform

classes into status groups, and do the same to territorial communities under particular circumstances

(ethnicity); and that make "legitimacy" a crucial focus for efforts at domination.

Weber's conclusions on conflict theory are similar to those reached by thinkers such as Emile

Durkheim, Sigmund Freud, and Nietzsche, namely that beyond emotionality, some particular forms of

social interaction create strongly held beliefs and solidarity among members of groups.

Feminist conflict theory

Conflict theory has been used by feminists to explain the position of women in society. Feminist conflict

theorists argue that women have traditionally been oppressed so that men can benefit from positions of

power, wealth, and status. These theorists would argue that the conflict over limited natural resources is

what led men to relegate women to domesticity. This interpretation of conflict theory also leads to the idea

that men cannot be trusted to give power to women because this gift would conflict with their inherent

nature.

Conflict theory applied to society

Conflict theory offers a useful lens with which to analyze society. One might use this theory to explain the

enmity between rich and poor within any society. This enmity could be expressed emotionally, verbally, or

physically. Applying the theory to notable class conflicts is possible. Events such as the "Battle in Seattle"

over global trade or the French Revolution serve as two examples.

Conflict theory can also be used to explain non-economic conflicts within a society. One might look at the

divide between Protestants and Catholics as a battle over spiritual resources. On a less macro level, the

competition between students in a classroom serves as a useful example as well. In such ways, conflict

theory is usefully ambiguous in its application to innumerable phenomena.

Notes

1. ↑  www.sociology.org, Conflict Theories. Retrieved December 3, 2007.

2. ↑  Randall Collins, Conflict Sociology (New York: Academic Press, 1974).

3. ↑  Kent McClelland, Conflict Theory. Retrieved December 3, 2007.

External links

Class, State, And Crime: Social Conflict Perspective.  Retrieved March 4, 2008.

The Basics of Conflict Theory  from Collins, Randall. 1974. Conflict Sociology. New York, NY:

Academic Press. pp.56-61. Retrieved March 4, 2008.

UNDERSTANDING CONFLICT AND WAR: VOL. 2: THE CONFLICT HELIX By R.J.

Rummel. Retrieved March 4, 2008.

Conflict managementFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page.This article is written like a personal reflection or essay rather than an encyclopedic description of the subject. (April 2012)

This article may be too technical for most readers to understand. (April 2012)

This article's tone or style may not reflect the encyclopedic tone used on Wikipedia. (April 2012)

Conflict management involves implementing strategies to limit the negative aspects of conflict and to increase

the positive aspects of conflict at a level equal to or higher than where the conflict is taking place. Furthermore,

the aim of conflict management is to enhance learning and group outcomes (effectiveness or performance in

organizational setting) (Rahim, 2002, p. 208). It is not concerned with eliminating all conflict or avoiding conflict.

Conflict can be valuable to groups and organizations. It has been shown to increase group outcomes when

managed properly (e.g. Alper, Tjosvold, & Law, 2000; Bodtker & Jameson, 2001; Rahim & Bonoma, 1979;

Khun & Poole, 2000; DeChurch & Marks, 2001).

Contents

  [hide]

1 Background

2 Definitions

o 2.1 Conflict

o 2.2 Substantive Vs. Affective

o 2.3 Organizational and Interpersonal Conflict

3 Conflict Resolution Vs. Conflict Management

4 Models of Conflict Management

o 4.1 Early Conflict Management Models

o 4.2 Khun and Poole’s Model

o 4.3 DeChurch and Marks’s Meta-Taxonomy

o 4.4 Rahim's meta model

5 How to manage conflict

o 5.1 Steps to Manage

6 International Conflict Management

7 Application

o 7.1 Higher education

o 7.2 Counselling

8 See also

9 References

10 External links

[edit]Background

Supervisors spend more than 25% of their time on conflict management, and managers spend more than 18%

of their time on relational employee conflicts. These figures have doubled since the mid 1980’s. Companies

have distinguished some key factors as “the growing complexity of organizations, use of teams and group

decision making, and globalization.” (Lang, 2009, p. 240) The United Kingdom’s Defense Department realized

that the new concepts of threats are not the concern any more. It is the capability to deal with them that

matters. (Fisher, 2010, p.429)

It is now becoming more evident that this is something that companies and managers need to recognize, and

deal with. Conflict significantly affects employee morale, turnover, and litigation, which affects the prosperity of

a company, either constructively or destructively. (Lang, 2009, p. 240) Turnover can cost a company 200% of

the employee’s annual salary. (Maccoby & Scudder, p.48)

[edit]Definitions

[edit]Conflict

While no single definition of conflict exists, most definitions seem to involve the following factors: that there are

at least two independent groups, the groups perceive some incompatibility between themselves, and the

groups interact with each other in some way (Putnam and Poole, 1987). Two example definitions are, “process

in which one party perceives that its interests are being opposed or negatively affected by another party" (Wall

& Callister, 1995, p. 517), and “the interactive process manifested in incompatibility, disagreement, or

dissonance within or between social entities” (Rahim, 1992, p. 16).

There are several causes of conflict. Conflict may occur when:

A party is required to engage in an activity that is incongruent with his or her needs or interests.

A party holds behavioral preferences, the satisfaction of which is incompatible with another person's

implementation of his or her preferences.

A party wants some mutually desirable resource that is in short supply, such that the wants of all parties

involved may not be satisfied fully.

A party possesses attitudes, values, skills, and goals that are salient in directing his or her behavior but are

perceived to be exclusive of the attitudes, values, skills, and goals held by the other(s).

Two parties have partially exclusive behavioral preferences regarding their joint actions.

Two parties are interdependent in the performance of functions or activities.

(Rahim, 2002, p. 207)

[edit]Substantive Vs. Affective

The overarching hierarchy of conflict starts with a distinction between substantive (also called performance,

task, issue, or active) conflict and affective (also called relationship or [the opposite of] agreeable) conflict. If

one could make a distinction between good and bad conflict, substantive would be good and affective conflict

would be bad. However, in a meta-analysis of the current research, De Drue and Weingart (2003) showed that

these two concepts are related to each other (corrected correlation, ρ = .54).

Substantive conflict deals with disagreements among group members about the content of the tasks being

performed or the performance itself (DeChurch & Marks, 2001; Jehn, 1995). This type of conflict occurs when

two or more social entities disagree on the recognition and solution to a task problem, including differences in

viewpoints, ideas, and opinions (Jehn, 1995; Rahim, 2002).

Affective conflict deals with interpersonal relationships or incompatibilities (Behfar, Peterson, Mannix, &

Trochim, 2008). It is generated from emotions and frustration (Bodtker & Jameson, 2001), and has a

detrimental impact on group or organizational outcomes (i.e. information processing ability, cognitive

functioning of group members, attributions of group members' behavior, group loyalty, work group commitment,

intent to stay in the present organization, and job satisfaction) (Amason, 1996; Baron, 1997; Jehn, 1995; Jehn

et al., 1999; Wall & Nolan, 1986). Summarily stated, "relationship conflict interferes with task-related effort

because members focus on reducing threats, increasing power, and attempting to build cohesion rather than

working on tasks...The conflict causes members to be negative, irritable, suspicious, and resentful" (Jehn,

1997, pp. 531-532; c.f. Rahim, 2002, p. 210).

Thus, “[substantive] conflicts occur when group members argue over alternatives related to the group's task,

whereas [affective] conflicts result over interpersonal clashes not directly related to achieving the group's

function (Amason, 1996; Guetzhow & Gyr, 1954; Jehn, 1992; Pinkley, 1990; Priem & Price, 1991)” (c.f.

DeChurch & Marks, 2001, p. 5).

In De Dreu and Weingart's 2003 meta-analysis, both substantive and affective conflict are negatively related to

team member satisfaction (ρ = -.32; -.56, respectively). Additionally, substantive and affective conflict are

negatively related to team performance (ρ = -.20; -.25, respectively). It is important to note that 20% (5 of 25) of

the studies used showed a positive correlation between substantive conflict and task performance. These

relationships show the severe negative impact that conflict can have on groups, and illustrate the importance of

conflict management.

[edit]Organizational and Interpersonal Conflict

Organizational conflict, whether it be substantive or affective, can be divided into intraorganizational and

interorganizational. Interorganizational conflict occurs between two or more organizations (Rahim, 2002). When

different businesses are competing against one another, this is an example of interorganizational conflict

Intraorganizational conflict is conflict within an organization, and can be examined based upon level (e.g.

department, work team, individual), and can be classified as interpersonal, intragroup and intergroup.

Interpersonal conflict--once again--whether it is substantive or affective, refers to conflict between two or more

individuals (not representing the group they are a part of) of the same or different group at the same or different

level, if in an organization. Interpersonal conflict can be divided into intragroup and intergroup conflict. While

the former--intragroup--occurs between members of a group (or between subgroups within a group), the latter--

intergroup--occurs between groups or units in an organization (Rahim, 2002).

[edit]Conflict Resolution Vs. Conflict Management

As the name would suggest, conflict resolution involves the reduction, elimination, or termination of all forms

and types of conflict. In practice, when people talk about conflict resolution they tend to use terms

like negotiation, bargaining, mediation, or arbitration.

In line with the recommendations in the "how to" section, businesses can benefit from appropriate types and

levels of conflict. That is the aim of conflict management, and not the aim of conflict resolution. Conflict

management does not necessarily imply conflict resolution. “Conflict management involves designing effective

macro-level strategies to minimize the dysfunctions of conflict and enhancing the constructive functions of

conflict in order to enhance learning and effectiveness in an organization”(Rahim, 2002, p. 208). Learning is

essential for the longevity of any group. This is especially true for organizations; Organizational learning is

essential for any company to remain in the market. Properly managed conflict increases learning through

increasing the degree to which groups ask questions and challenge the status quo (Luthans, Rubach, &

Marsnik, 1995).

[edit]Models of Conflict Management

There have been many styles of conflict management behavior that have been researched in the past century.

One of the earliest, Mary Parker Follett (1926/1940) found that conflict was managed by individuals in three

main ways: domination, compromise, and integration. She also found other ways of handling conflict that were

employed by organizations, such as avoidance and suppression.

[edit]Early Conflict Management Models

Blake and Mouton (1964) were among the first to present a conceptual scheme for classifying the modes

(styles) for handling interpersonal conflicts into five types: forcing, withdrawing, smoothing, compromising, and

problem solving.

In the 1970’s and 1980’s, researchers began using the intentions of the parties involved to classify the styles of

conflict management that they would include in their models. Both Thomas (1976) and Pruitt (1983) put forth a

model based on the concerns of the parties involved in the conflict. The combination of the parties concern for

their own interests (i.e. assertiveness) and their concern for the interests of those across the table

(i.e. cooperativeness) would yield a particular conflict management style. Pruitt called these styles yielding (low

assertiveness/high cooperativeness), problem solving (high assertiveness/high cooperativeness), inaction (low

assertiveness/low cooperativeness), and contending (high assertiveness/low cooperativeness). Pruitt argues

that problem-solving is the preferred method when seeking mutually beneficial options.

[edit]Khun and Poole’s Model

Khun and Poole (2000) established a similar system of group conflict management. In their system, they split

Kozan’s confrontational model into two sub models: distributive and integrative.

Distributive - Here conflict is approached as a distribution of a fixed amount of positive outcomes or

resources, where one side will end up winning and the other losing, even if they do win some concessions.

Integrative - Groups utilizing the integrative model see conflict as a chance to integrate the needs and

concerns of both groups and make the best outcome possible. This model has a heavier emphasis on

compromise than the distributive model. Khun and Poole found that the integrative model resulted in

consistently better task related outcomes than those using the distributive model.

[edit]DeChurch and Marks’s Meta-Taxonomy

DeChurch and Marks (2001) examined the literature available on conflict management at the time and

established what they claimed was a "meta-taxonomy" that encompasses all other models. They argued that all

other styles have inherent in them into two dimensions - activeness ("the extent to which conflict behaviors

make a responsive and direct rather than inert and indirect impression") and agreeableness ("the extent to

which conflict behaviors make a pleasant and relaxed rather than unpleasant and strainful impression"). High

activeness is characterized by openly discussing differences of opinion while fully going after their own interest.

High agreeableness is characterized by attempting to satisfy all parties involved

In the study they conducted to validate this division, activeness did not have a significant effect on the

effectiveness of conflict resolution, but the agreeableness of the conflict management style, whatever it was,

did in fact have a positive impact on how groups felt about the way the conflict was managed, regardless of the

outcome.

[edit]Rahim's meta model

Rahim (2002) noted that there is agreement among management scholars that there is no one best approach

to how to make decisions, lead or manage conflict. In a similar vein, rather than creating a very specific model

of conflict management, Rahim created a meta-model (in much the same way that DeChurch and Marks, 2001,

created a meta-taxonomy) for conflict styles based on two dimensions, concern for self and concern for others

(as shown in Figure 2).

Within this framework are five management approaches: integrating, obliging, dominating, avoiding, and

compromising. Integration involves openness, exchanging information, looking for alternatives, and examining

differences so solve the problem in a manner that is acceptable to both parties. Obliging is associated with

attempting to minimize the differences and highlight the commonalities to satisfy the concern of the other party.

When using the dominating style one party goes all out to win his or her objective and, as a result, often

ignores the needs and expectations of the other party. When avoiding a party fails to satisfy his or her own

concern as well as the concern of the other party. Lastly, compromising involves give-and-take whereby both

parties give up something to make a mutually acceptable decision. (Rahim, 2002).

[edit]How to manage conflict

This article contains instructions, advice, or how-to content. The purpose of Wikipedia is to present facts, not to train. Please helpimprove this article either by rewriting the how-to content or by moving it to Wikiversity or Wikibooks. (April 2012)

Overall conflict management should aim to minimize affective conflicts at all levels, attain and maintain a

moderate amount of substantive conflict, and use the appropriate conflict management strategy--to effectively

bring about the first two goals, and also to match the status and concerns of the two parties in conflict (Rahim,

2002).

In order for conflict management strategies to be effective, they should satisfy certain criteria. The below

criteria are particularly useful for not only conflict management, but also decision makingin management.

Organization Learning and Effectiveness- In order to attain this objective, conflict management strategies

should be designed to enhance critical and innovative thinking to learn the process of diagnosis and

intervention in the right problems.

Needs of Stakeholders- Sometimes multiple parties are involved in a conflict in an organization and the

challenge of conflict management would be to involve these parties in a problem solving process that will

lead to collective learning and organizational effectiveness. organizations should institutionalize the

positions of employee advocate, customer and supplier advocate, as well as environmental and

stockholder advocates.

Ethics - A wise leader must behave ethically, and to do so the leader should be open to new information

and be willing to change his or her mind. By the same token subordinates and other stakeholders have an

ethical duty to speak out against the decisions of supervisors when consequences of these decisions are

likely to be serious. “Without an understanding of ethics, conflict cannot be handled” (Batcheldor, 2000).

[edit]Steps to Manage

The first step is reactionary by assessing and reacting to the conflict. The second step is proactive by

determining how the employee reacted to the decision. The manager tries to take (create) a new approach, and

once again tries to discern how the employee reacts. Once the manager feels that the best decision for the

organization has been chosen, and the employee feels justified, then the manager decides if this is a single

case conflict, or one that should be written as policy. The entire process starts as a reactive situation but then

moves towards a proactive decision. It is based on obtaining an outcome that best fits the organization, but

emphasizes the perception of justice for the employee. The chart below shows the interaction of the

procedures.

Maccoby and Studder identify five steps to managing conflict.

1. Anticipate – Take time to obtain information that can lead to conflict.

2. Prevent – Develop strategies before the conflict occurs.

3. Identify – If it is interpersonal or procedural, move to quickly manage it.

4. Manage – Remember that conflict is emotional

5. Resolve – React, without blame, and you will learn through dialogue.

(Maccoby & Studder, p.50)

Melissa Taylor’s research on Locus of Control is directly related to individual abilities of communication,

especially as it pertains to interpersonal conflict. She also states that conflicts should be solution driven which

are creative and integrative. They should be non-confrontational, and they should still maintain control, utilizing

non-verbal messages to achieve the outcome.(Taylor, p. 449)

Rahim, Antonioni, and Psenicka’s 2001 article deals with two types of leaders. Those that have concern for

themselves, and those that have concern for others. (Rahim, Antonioni & Psenicka, 2001, p.195)

They also have degrees of conflict management style.

1. Integrating involves opening up, creating dialogue, and exploring differences to choose an effective

solution for both groups. “This style is positively associated with individual and organizational

outcomes.” (Rahim et al., p. 197)

2. Obliging tries to find the same interests of the parties, while trying to minimize the true feeling of the

conflict, to satisfy the other party.

3. Dominating is a coercive manager who forces their own way.

4. Avoiding is ignoring the problem in hopes that it will go away.

5. Compromising is a manger that is willing to make concessions and the employee makes concessions

for a mutual agreement. (Rahim et al., p.196)

The avoiding and dominating styles are considered ineffective in management. The following chart shows the

interaction between the styles. (Rahim et al., p. 196)

[edit]International Conflict Management

Special consideration should be paid to conflict management between two parties from distinct cultures. In

addition to the everyday sources of conflict, "misunderstandings, and from this counterproductive, pseudo

conflicts, arise when members of one culture are unable to understand culturally determined differences in

communication practices, traditions, and thought processing" (Borisoff & Victor, 1989).

Indeed, this has already been observed in the business research literature. Renner (2007) recounted several

episodes where managers from developed countries moved to less developed countries to resolve conflicts

within the company and met with little success due to their failure to adapt to the conflict management styles of

the local culture.

As an example, in Kozan’s study noted above, he noted that Asian cultures are far more likely to use a

harmony model of conflict management. If a party operating from a harmony model comes in conflict with a

party using a more confrontational model, misunderstandings above and beyond those generated by the

conflict itself will arise.

International conflict management, and the cultural issues associated with it, is one of the primary areas of

research in the field at the time, as existing research is insufficient to deal with the ever increasing contact

occurring between international entities.

[edit]Application

[edit]Higher education

With only 14% of researched universities reporting mandatory courses in this subject, and with the up to 25% of

the manager day being spent on dealing with conflict, education needs to reconsider the importance of this

subject. The subject warrants emphasis on enabling students to deal with conflict management. (Lang, p. 240)

“Providing more conflict management training in undergraduate business programs could help raise the

emotional intelligence of future managers.” The improvement of emotional intelligence found that employees

were more likely to use problem-solving skills, instead of trying to bargain. (Lang, p. 241)

Students need to have a good set of social skills. Good communication skills allow the manager to accomplish

interpersonal situations and conflict. Instead of focusing on conflict as a behavior issue, focus on the

communication of it. (Myers & Larson, 2005, p.307)

With an understanding of the communications required, the student will gain the aptitude needed to

differentiate between the nature and types of conflicts. These skills also teach that relational and procedural

conflict needs a high degree of immediacy to resolution. If these two conflicts are not dealt with quickly, an

employee will become dissatisfied or perform poorly. (Myers & Larson, p.313)

It is also the responsibility of companies to react. One option is to identify the skills needed in house, but if the

skills for creating workplace fairness are already lacking, it may be best to have an outside organization assist.

These are called “Developmental Assessment Centers”.

According to Rupp, Baldwin, and Bashur, these organizations “have become a popular means for providing

coaching, feedback, and experiential learning opportunities.” (Rupp, Baldwin & Bashshur, 2006, p. 145) Their

main focus is fairness and how it impacts employee’s attitudes and performance.

These organizations teach competencies and what they mean. (Rupp et al., p. 146) The students then

participate in simulations. Multiple observers assess and record what skills are being used and then return this

feedback to the participant. After this assessment, participants are then given another set of simulations to

utilize the skills learned. Once again they receive additional feedback from observers, in hopes that the learning

can be used in their workplace.

The feedback the participant receives is detailed, behaviorally specific, and high quality. This is needed for the

participant to learn how to change their behavior. (Rupp et al., p. 146) In this regard, it is also important that the

participant take time to self-reflect so that learning may occur.

Once an assessment program is utilized, action plans may be developed based on quantitative and qualitative

data. (Rupp et al., p. 159)

[edit]Counselling

When personal conflict leads to frustration and loss of efficiency, counseling may prove to be a helpful antidote.

Although few organizations can afford the luxury of having professional counselors on the staff, given some

training, managers may be able to perform this function. Nondirective counseling, or "listening with

understanding," is little more than being a good listener—something every manager should be.[1]

Sometimes the simple process of being able to vent one's feelings—that is, to express them to a concerned

and understanding listener, is enough to relieve frustration and make it possible for the frustrated individual to

advance to a problem-solving frame of mind, better able to cope with a personal difficulty that is affecting his

work adversely. The nondirective approach is one effective way for managers to deal with frustrated

subordinates and co-workers.[2]

There are other more direct and more diagnostic ways that might be used in appropriate circumstances. The

great strength of the nondirective approach (nondirective counseling is based on the client-centered therapy of

Carl Rogers), however, lies in its simplicity, its effectiveness, and the fact that it deliberately avoids the

manager-counselor's diagnosing and interpreting emotional problems, which would call for special

psychological training. No one has ever been harmed by being listened to sympathetically and understandingly.

On the contrary, this approach has helped many people to cope with problems that were interfering with their

effectiveness on the job.[2]

[edit]See also

Conflict resolution

Conflict atlas

Conflict style inventory

[edit]References

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[edit]External links

Conflict Management Articles  - A collection of Conflict Management Articles

Search For Common Ground  - One of the world's largest non-government organisations dedicated to

conflict resolution

CUNY Dispute Resolution Consortium - The Dispute Resolution Headquarters in New York City.

The Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS) Conflict Management

Toolkit

Clarifying Confusion About Conflict

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

Conflict occurs with two or more people who, despite their first attempts at agreement, do not yet have agreement on a course of action, usually because their values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature. Conflict can occur:

1. Within yourself when you are not living according to your values.2. When your values and perspectives are threatened.3. When there is discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.

Conflict is inevitable and often necessary when forming high-performing teams because they evolve through “form, storm, norm and perform” periods. Getting the most out of diversity often means addressing contradictory values, perspectives and opinions. Conflict is often needed. It:

Helps to raise and address problems. Energizes work to be focused on the most important priorities. Helps people “be real” and motivates them to fully participate. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.

Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict is not the problem – poor management of the conflict is the problem. Conflict is a problem when it:

Hampers productivity. Lowers morale. Causes more and continued conflicts. Causes inappropriate behaviors.

Types of Managerial Actions That Cause Workplace Conflicts

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

1. Poor communications

Employees experience continual surprises, for example, they are not informed of major decisions that affect their workplaces and lives.

Employees do not understand the reasons for the decisions – they are not involved in the decision-making.

As a result, they trust the “rumor mill” more than their management.

2. The alignment or the amount of resources is insufficient. There is:

Disagreement about “who does what.” Stress from working with inadequate resources.

3.“Personal chemistry,” including conflicting values or actions, for example:

Strong interpersonal natures among workers do not seem to match. We do not like others because they seem too much like ourselves (we often do not

like in others what we do not like in ourselves).

4. Leadership problems

For example, inconsistent, missing, too-strong or uninformed leadership (at any level in the organization), evidenced by:

Avoiding conflict, “passing the buck” with little follow-through on decisions. Employees see the same continued issues in the workplace. Supervisors do not understand the jobs of their subordinates.

Key Managerial Actions / Structures to Minimize Conflicts

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

1. Regularly review job descriptions. Get your employee’s input to them. Ensure:

Job roles do not conflict. No tasks “fall in a crack.”

2. Intentionally build relationships with all subordinates.

Meet at least once a month alone with them in office. Ask about accomplishments, challenges and issues.

3. Get regular, written status reports that describe:

Accomplishments. Currents issues and needs from management. Plans for the upcoming period.

4. Conduct basic training about:

Interpersonal communications. Conflict management. Delegation.

5. Develop procedures for routine tasks and include the employees’ input.

Have employees write procedures when possible and appropriate. Get employees’ review of the procedures. Distribute the procedures. Train employees about the procedures.

6. Regularly hold management meetings with all employees.

For example, every month, communicate new initiatives and status of current products or services.

7. Consider an anonymous suggestion box in which employees can provide suggestions.

This can be powerful means to collect honest feedback, especially in very conflicted workplaces.

Ways People Deal With Conflict

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It depends on the current situation. Here are the major ways that people use to deal with conflict:

1. You can avoid it.

Pretend it is not there or ignore it. Use this approach only when it simply is not worth the effort to argue. Be aware that this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time.

2. You can accommodate it.

You can give in to others, sometimes to the extent that you compromise yourself. Use this approach very sparingly and infrequently, for example, in situations when you know that you will have another more useful approach in the very near future. Usually this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time, and causes conflicts within yourself.

3. You can compete with the others.

You can work to get your way, rather than clarifying and addressing the issue. Competitors love accommodators. Use this approach when you have a very strong conviction about your position.

4. Compromising.

You can engage in mutual give-and-take. This approach is used when the goal is to get past the issue and move on together.

5. Collaborating.

You can focus on working together. Use this approach when the goal is to meet as many current needs as possible by using mutual resources. This approach sometimes raises new mutual needs. Collaboration can also be used when the goal is to cultivate ownership and commitment.

To Manage a Conflict with Another Person

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

1. Know what you do not like about yourself, early on in your career.

We often do not like in others what we do not want to see in ourselves. Write down 5 traits that really bug you when see them in others. Be aware that these traits are your “hot buttons.”

2. Manage yourself. If you and/or another person are getting upset, then manage yourself to stay calm:

Speak to the person as if the other person is not upset – this can be very effective! Avoid use of the word “you” – this avoids your appearing to be blaming the person. Nod your head to assure the person that you heard him/her. Maintain eye contact with the person.

3. Move the discussion to a private area, if possible.

Many times, moving to a new environment invites both of you to see or feel differently.

4. Give the other person time to vent.

Do not interrupt the person or judge what he/she is saying.

5. Verify that you are accurately hearing each other. When the other person is done speaking:

Ask the person to let you rephrase (uninterrupted) what you are hearing to ensure you are hearing it correctly.

To understand the person more, ask open-ended questions (avoid “why” questions – those questions often make people feel defensive).

6. Repeat the above step, for the other to verify that he/she is hearing you. Describe your perspective:

Use “I”, not “you.”

Talk in terms of the present as much as possible. Quickly mention your feelings.

7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree.

One of the most powerful means to resolve conflict is to mention where you both agree.

8. Discuss the matter on which you disagree, not the nature of the other person.

Ask “What can we do fix the problem?” The person might begin to complain again. Then ask the same question. Focus on actions you both can do. Ask the other person if they will support the action(s). If the person will not, then ask for a “cooling off period”.

9. Thank the person for working with you.

It takes patience for a person to engage in meaningful conversation during conflict. Acknowledge and thank the other person for his/her effort.

10. If the situation remains a conflict, then:

Conclude if the other person’s behavior violates one of the personnel policies and procedures in the workplace and if it does, then follow the policy’s terms for addressing that violation.

Otherwise, consider whether to agree to disagree. Consider seeking a third party to mediate.

Additional Perspectives on Conflict Management

Basic Advice (Suggestions, Steps and Tips)

Basics of Conflict Management (conflict within yourself or with others)Conflict - An Essential Ingredient For Growth (basic styles to deal with conflict)Kare Anderson: Six Off-Beat Ways to Get Along BetterKare Anderson: Keeping Cool While Under FireHow to Resolve Conflicts (basics in one-on-one relationship, meetings and in negotiations)The Right Way to FightThe Good Fight: How Conflict Can Help Your IdeaConflict to CollaborationHow to Agreeably Disagree in 4 StepsHow to Confront Without Conflict5 Ways to Foster Healthy Communication in Conflict SituationsMediating a Workplace Conflict7 Tips to Prepare for a Challenging Discussion

Career Misfire: You've Said Things You Now RegretHow Project Managers Can Manage ConflictIs Conflict at Work Good or Bad?

Also seeBuilding TrustCommunications (Interpersonal)Communications (Organizational)Communications (Writing)Conflict (Interpersonal)Etiquette (Manners)Handling Difficult PeopleValuing DiversityNegotiatingOffice Politics

Related Library Topics

Towards Broader Views on Conflict in Organizations

13 Conflict Management SkillsDealing With ConflictThe Good Fight: How Conflict Can Help Your IdeaWhen You Don't Want Employees to AgreeHow to Fix Misunderstandings at Work and in LifeCreate a Conflict Resolution CultureConflict to Collaboration

Assessments

Free instrument for measuring the cost of organizational conflictConflict Assessment

Free, Online Book

Helping Others Resolve Differences: Empowering StakeholdersGuide to Advertising and Marketing Regulations

Miscellaneous Topics

Can Conflict in Nonprofits Be Managed Successfully?Addressing Interpersonal ConflictsAkaido and Conflict Resolution

General Resources About Conflict Management

Bully OnlineMediation Information and Resource CenterArticles, Instruments, ResourcesConflict Research ConsortiumTransformative Approaches to Conflict ResolutionA Comparison of Conflict Style Inventories

For the Category of Interpersonal Skills:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

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D O W N L O A D   F R E E   M E D I A T I O N A N D C O N F L I C T M A N A G E M E N T

B O O K   I N P D F F O R M A T , O V E R 3 0 0 P A G E S , b y G r e g o r i o B i l l i k o p f ,

U N I V E R S I T Y O F C A L I F O R N I A ( P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n , 2 n d

E d i t i o n , 2 0 0 9 ) . C o v e r s d e e p - s e a t e d c o n f l i c t s b e t w e e n p e e r s , a s

w e l l a s a s e p a r a t e m o d e l f o r s u p e r v i s o r - s u b o r d i n a t e c o n f l i c t

m a n a g e m e n t a n d m e d i a t i o n .

B e t h j u s t g o t t u r n e d d o w n b y C a r l o s , t h e m e c h a n i c . S h e h a d a s k e d

C a r l o s t o p l a n o n w o r k i n g a c o u p l e o f o v e r t i m e h o u r s t h i s c o m i n g

T h u r s d a y a n d F r i d a y e v e n i n g s . B e t h ' s n o s e w a s a b i t b e n t o u t o f

j o i n t . S h e w o n d e r e d i f C a r l o s d i d n o t y i e l d t o h e r b e c a u s e s h e w a s

t o o k i n d w h e n s h e a s k e d . O r , b e c a u s e s h e w a s a w o m a n . O r ,

b e c a u s e C a r l o s w a s e n v i o u s t h a t s h e g o t t h e s u p e r v i s o r y p o s i t i o n

f o r w h i c h b o t h h a d c o m p e t e d . C a r l o s w a s u n c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h t h e

i n t e r a c t i o n , t o o .

I f C a r l o s h a d n o c l u e t h a t B e t h w a s u p s e t , w o u l d t h i s s c e n e s t i l l

c o n s t i t u t e i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t ? P e r h a p s . T h e s e e d s o f c o n f l i c t

a r e p l a n t e d w h e n d i s h a r m o n y i s   f e l t w i t h i n   a n y o n e o f t h e

p a r t i c i p a n t s . N e x t t i m e B e t h a p p r o a c h e s C a r l o s s h e m a y c h a n g e

h e r a p p r o a c h . S h e m a y b e m o r e a b r u p t , l e a d i n g C a r l o s t o w o n d e r

i f B e t h g o t u p o n t h e w r o n g s i d e o f t h e b e d . C a r l o s m a y t h e n , i n

t u r n , r e a c t n e g a t i v e l y t o B e t h , t h u s e s c a l a t i n g t h e c o n f l i c t .

I n d i v i d u a l s s o m e t i m e s e n c o u n t e r s t r e s s a n d n e g a t i v e e m o t i o n o u t

o f a n i n t e r a c t i o n — w h e t h e r o r n o t t h e y e v e r c o n f r o n t e a c h o t h e r

a b o u t t h e i r f e e l i n g s .

W h e r e v e r c h o i c e s e x i s t t h e r e i s p o t e n t i a l f o r d i s a g r e e m e n t . S u c h

d i f f e r e n c e s , w h e n h a n d l e d p r o p e r l y , c a n r e s u l t i n r i c h e r , m o r e

e f f e c t i v e , c r e a t i v e s o l u t i o n s a n d i n t e r a c t i o n . B u t a l a s , i t i s d i f f i c u l t

t o c o n s i s t e n t l y t u r n d i f f e r e n c e s i n t o o p p o r t u n i t i e s . W h e n

d i s a g r e e m e n t i s p o o r l y d e a l t w i t h , t h e o u t c o m e c a n b e   c o n t e n t i o n .

C o n t e n t i o n c r e a t e s a s e n s e o f p s y c h o l o g i c a l d i s t a n c e b e t w e e n

p e o p l e , s u c h a s f e e l i n g s o f d i s l i k e , b i t t e r a n t a g o n i s m , c o m p e t i t i o n ,

a l i e n a t i o n , a n d d i s r e g a r d .

W h e t h e r d e a l i n g w i t h f a m i l y m e m b e r s o r h i r e d p e r s o n n e l , s o o n e r o r

l a t e r c h a l l e n g e s w i l l a r i s e . I t i s u n l i k e l y t h a t w e f i n d o u r s e l v e s a t a

l o s s o f w o r d s w h e n d e a l i n g w i t h f a m i l y m e m b e r s . C o m m u n i c a t i o n

p a t t e r n s w i t h t h o s e c l o s e s t t o u s a r e n o t a l w a y s p o s i t i v e , h o w e v e r ,

o f t e n f a l l i n g i n t o a p r e d i c t a b l e a n d i n e f f e c t i v e e x c h a n g e .

W i t h h i r e d p e r s o n n e l a n d s t r a n g e r s , w e m a y o f t e n t r y a n d p u t f o r t h

o u r b e s t b e h a v i o r . O u t o f c o n c e r n f o r h o w w e a r e p e r c e i v e d , w e

m a y e r r i n s a y i n g t o o l i t t l e w h e n t h i n g s g o w r o n g . W e m a y s u f f e r

f o r a l o n g t i m e b e f o r e b r i n g i n g i s s u e s u p . T h i s i s e s p e c i a l l y s o

d u r i n g w h a t c o u l d b e c a l l e d a " c o u r t i n g p e r i o d . " I n s t e a d o f s a y i n g

t h i n g s d i r e c t l y , w e o f t e n t r y t o h i n t .

B u t t h e h o n e y m o o n i s l i k e l y t o e n d s o o n e r o r l a t e r . A t s o m e p o i n t

t h i s " c o u r t i n g b e h a v i o r " o f t e n g e t s p u s h e d a s i d e o u t o f n e c e s s i t y .

W e m a y f i n d i t e a s i e r t o s w e e p p r o b l e m s u n d e r t h e p s y c h o l o g i c a l

r u g u n t i l t h e m o u n d o f d i r t i s s o l a r g e w e c a n n o t h e l p b u t t r i p o v e r

i t . S o m e t i m e a f t e r t h a t t r a n s i t i o n i s m a d e , i t m a y b e c o m e a l l t o o

e a s y t o s t a r t t e l l i n g t h e e m p l o y e e o r c o - w o r k e r e x a c t l y w h a t h a s t o

b e d o n e d i f f e r e n t l y . A n i s o l a t e d e p i s o d e s u c h a s t h e o n e b e t w e e n

B e t h a n d C a r l o s m a y o r m a y n o t a f f e c t t h e i r f u t u r e w o r k i n g

r e l a t i o n s h i p .

P e r s o n s d i f f e r i n t h e i r s e n s i t i v i t y t o c o m m e n t s o r a c t i o n s o f o t h e r s ,

a s w e l l a s t h e i r a b i l i t y t o d e a l w i t h t h e s t r e s s c r e a t e d b y a c o n f l i c t

s i t u a t i o n . W h i l e i t i s i m p o r t a n t t h a t w e a r e s e n s i t i v e t o h o w w e

a f f e c t o t h e r s , t h e r e i s m u c h v i r t u e i n n o t t a k i n g o f f e n s e e a s i l y

o u r s e l v e s . O r b y f i n d i n g c o n s t r u c t i v e o u t l e t s t o d i s s i p a t e s t r e s s f u l

f e e l i n g s ( e . g . , e x e r c i s e , m u s i c , r e a d i n g , a n a c t o f s e r v i c e t o

a n o t h e r , o r e v e n a g o o d n i g h t ' s s l e e p ) . I t d o e s l i t t l e g o o d ,

h o w e v e r , t o a p p e a r u n a f f e c t e d w h i l e s t e a m b u i l d s u p w i t h i n a n d

e v e n t u a l l y e x p l o d e s .

W h e n d i s a g r e e m e n t s e m e r g e i t i s e a s y t o h e a r w i t h o u t l i s t e n i n g .

P e o p l e i n v o l v e d i n c o n f l i c t o f t e n e n l i s t o t h e r s t o s u p p o r t t h e i r

p e r s p e c t i v e a n d t h u s a v o i d t r y i n g t o w o r k m a t t e r s o u t d i r e c t l y w i t h

t h e a f f e c t e d p e r s o n .

O u r s e l f - e s t e e m i s m o r e f r a g i l e t h a n m o s t o f u s w o u l d l i k e t o a d m i t

( s e e C h a p t e r 6 , S i d e b a r 3 ) . U n r e s o l v e d c o n f l i c t o f t e n t h r e a t e n

w h a t e v e r s e l f - e s t e e m w e m a y p o s s e s s . B y f i n d i n g s o m e o n e w h o

a g r e e s w i t h u s , w e f a l s e l y e l e v a t e t h a t s e l f - e s t e e m . B u t w e o n l y

b u i l d o n s a n d . O u r s e l f - e s t e e m w i l l b e c o n s t r u c t e d o v e r a f i r m e r

f o u n d a t i o n w h e n w e l e a r n t o d e a l e f f e c t i v e l y w i t h t h e c o n f l i c t . I n

S p a n i s h t h e r e a r e t w o r e l a t e d w o r d s , s e l f - e s t e e m i s

c a l l e d   a u t o e s t i m a , w h i l e f a l s e s e l f - e s t e e m i s c a l l e d   a m o r

p r o p i o ( l i t e r a l l y , " s e l f - l o v e " ) .

I t t a k e s m o r e   s k i l l , e f f o r t a n d c o m m i t m e n t - - a n d , a t l e a s t i n t h e

s h o r t r u n , m o r e s t r e s s - - t o f a c e t h e c h a l l e n g e t o g e t h e r w i t h t h e

o t h e r p e r s o n i n v o l v e d i n t h e d i s p u t e . C e r t a i n l y i t s e e m s a s i f i t

w o u l d b e e a s i e r t o f i g h t , w i t h d r a w , o r g i v e i n . Y e t i n t h e l o n g r u n ,

w o r k i n g t h r o u g h d i f f i c u l t i e s t o g e t h e r w i l l h e l p u s l i v e a l e s s

s t r e s s f u l a n d m o r e f u l f i l l i n g l i f e .

F i g h t i n g i t o u t . A m a n s a t i n h i s t r a i n c o m p a r t m e n t l o o k i n g o u t i n t o

t h e s e r e n e R u s s i a n c o u n t r y s i d e . T w o w o m e n e n t e r e d t o j o i n h i m .

O n e h e l d a l a p d o g . T h e w o m e n l o o k e d a t t h i s m a n w i t h c o n t e m p t ,

f o r h e w a s s m o k i n g . I n d e s p e r a t i o n , o n e o f t h e w o m e n g o t u p ,

l i f t e d u p t h e w i n d o w , t o o k t h e c i g a r o f f t h e m a n ’ s l i p s , a n d t h r e w i t

o u t . T h e m a n s a t t h e r e f o r a w h i l e , a n d t h e n p r o c e e d e d t o r e - o p e n

t h e w i n d o w , g r a b t h e w o m a n ’ s d o g f r o m o f f h e r l a p , a n d t h r o w i t

o u t t h e w i n d o w . N o , t h i s i s n o t a s t o r y f r o m t o d a y ’ s R u s s i a n

n e w s p a p e r , i n s t e a d i t i s f r o m F y o d o r D o s t o e v s k y ’ s 1 9 t h c e n t u r y

n o v e l ,   T h e I d i o t . T h e n u m b e r a n d s e r i o u s n e s s o f w o r k p l a c e

v i o l e n c e c a s e s i n a g r i c u l t u r e s e e m s t o b e o n t h e r i s e , a n d f a r m

e m p l o y e r s c a n r e s p o n d w i t h e f f e c t i v e p o l i c i e s a n d i n c r e a s e d

e d u c a t i o n .

Y i e l d i n g .   W h i l e m o s t c a n r e a d i l y s e e t h e n e g a t i v e c o n s e q u e n c e s

a n d u g l i n e s s o f e s c a l a t i n g c o n t e n t i o n , w e o f t e n d o n o t c o n s i d e r

h o w u n p r o d u c t i v e a n d h a r m f u l w i t h d r a w i n g o r g i v i n g i n c a n b e .

N a t u r a l l y , t h e r e a r e o c c a s i o n s w h e n d o i n g s o i s n o t o n l y w i s e , b u t

h o n o r a b l e ( a s t h e r e a r e t i m e s t o s t a n d f i r m ) . I f a p e r s o n f e e l s

o b l i g a t e d t o c o n t i n u a l l y g i v e i n a n d l e t a n o t h e r h a v e h i s w a y , s u c h

y i e l d i n g i n d i v i d u a l m a y s t o p c a r i n g a n d w i t h d r a w p s y c h o l o g i c a l l y

f r o m t h e s i t u a t i o n .

A v o i d a n c e . W h e n w e e n g a g e i n a v o i d a n c e , i t o n l y w e a k e n s a l r e a d y

f r a g i l e r e l a t i o n s h i p s . T h e s e " o t h e r s " ( e . g . , s y m p a t h e t i c c o -

w o r k e r s ) u s u a l l y t e n d t o a g r e e w i t h u s . T h e y d o s o n o t j u s t

b e c a u s e t h e y a r e o u r f r i e n d s , b u t m o s t l y b e c a u s e t h e y s e e t h e

c o n f l i c t a n d p o s s i b l e s o l u t i o n s f r o m o u r p e r s p e c t i v e .   A f t e r a l l , t h e y

h e a r d t h e s t o r y f r o m u s .   O n c e a p e r s o n h a s t h e s u p p o r t o f a

f r i e n d , s h e m a y f e e l j u s t i f i e d i n h e r b e h a v i o r a n d n o t t r y t o p u t a s

m u c h e n e r g y i n t o s o l v i n g t h e c o n f l i c t .

O n e p a r t i c u l a r l y d a m a g i n g f o r m o f c o n f l i c t a v o i d a n c e i s t o s e n d

s o m e o n e e l s e t o d e l i v e r a m e s s a g e o r c o n f r o n t a n o t h e r o n o u r

b e h a l f . A t b e s t , t h e i n d i v i d u a l n o t s p o k e n t o d i r e c t l y w i l l b e h u r t

t h a t s u c h a t a c t i c w a s t a k e n . A t w o r s t , t h e g o - b e t w e e n p e r s o n

c h e r i s h e s t h e p o w e r t r i p i n v o l v e d , a l l o w i n g h i m s e l f t o b e c o m e a

s o r t o f a r b i t e r i n t h e c o n f l i c t .

W e o f t e n a r e t o o q u i c k t o a s s u m e t h a t a d i s a g r e e m e n t h a s n o

p o s s i b l e m u t u a l l y a c c e p t a b l e s o l u t i o n . T a l k i n g a b o u t

d i s a g r e e m e n t s m a y r e s u l t i n o p p o r t u n i t i e s t o s t r e n g t h e n

r e l a t i o n s h i p s a n d i m p r o v e p r o d u c t i v i t y . O b v i o u s l y , t a l k i n g

p r o b l e m s t h r o u g h i s n o t s o e a s y . C o n f r o n t i n g a n i s s u e m a y r e q u i r e

( 1 ) e x p o s i n g o n e s e l f t o r i d i c u l e o r r e j e c t i o n , ( 2 ) r e c o g n i z i n g w e

m a y h a v e c o n t r i b u t e d t o t h e p r o b l e m , a n d ( 3 ) w i l l i n g n e s s t o

c h a n g e .

W e c a n r e d u c e s t r e s s , r e s o l v e c h a l l e n g e s a n d i n c r e a s e

p r o d u c t i v i t y t h r o u g h e f f e c t i v e d i a l o g u e . S u c h a c o n v e r s a t i o n

e n t a i l s a s m u c h   l i s t e n i n g a s t a l k i n g . W h i l e e f f e c t i v e t w o - w a y

e x c h a n g e s w i l l h a p p e n n a t u r a l l y s o m e o f t h e t i m e , f o r t h e m o s t

p a r t t h e y n e e d t o b e c a r e f u l l y p l a n n e d . T h e r e m a y b e s o m e p a i n - -

o r a t l e a s t m o v i n g u s o u t o f o u r c o m f o r t z o n e s - - i n v o l v e d i n

d i s c u s s i n g c h a l l e n g i n g i s s u e s , b u t t h e r e w a r d s a r e s a t i s f a c t i o n

a n d i m p r o v e d l o n g - t e r m r e l a t i o n s h i p s .

W h e n f a c e d w i t h c h a l l e n g e s , w e t e n d t o r e v i e w p o s s i b l e

a l t e r n a t i v e s a n d c o m e u p w i t h t h e b e s t s o l u t i o n g i v e n t h e d a t a a t

h a n d . U n w a n t e d o p t i o n s a r e d i s c a r d e d . W h i l e s o m e d e c i s i o n s m a y

t a k e c a r e f u l c o n s i d e r a t i o n , a n a l y s i s , a n d e v e n a g o n y , w e s o l v e

o t h e r s a l m o s t i n s t i n c t i v e l y . O u r b e s t s o l u t i o n b e c o m e s

o u r   p o s i t i o n   o r   s t a n c e   i n t h e m a t t e r .

O u r   n e e d s ,   c o n c e r n s a n d   f e a r s   a l l p l a y a p a r t i n c o m i n g u p w i t h

s u c h a p o s i t i o n . M i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g a n d d i s s e n t c a n g r o w t h e i r u g l y

h e a d s w h e n o u r s o l u t i o n i s n o t t h e s a m e a s t h o s e o f o t h e r s .

S e v e r a l f o e s o f t e n c o m b i n e t o c r e a t e c o n t e n t i o n :

O u r f i r s t e n e m y i s t h e n a t u r a l n e e d t o w a n t t o e x p l a i n o u r

s i d e f i r s t . A f t e r a l l , w e r e a s o n , i f t h e y u n d e r s t a n d o u r

p e r s p e c t i v e , t h e y w i l l c o m e t o t h e s a m e c o n c l u s i o n s w e d i d .

O u r s e c o n d e n e m y i s o u r i n e f f e c t i v e n e s s a s l i s t e n e r s .

L i s t e n i n g i s m u c h m o r e t h a n b e i n g q u i e t s o w e c a n h a v e

o u r t u r n . I t i n v o l v e s a r e a l e f f o r t t o u n d e r s t a n d a n o t h e r

p e r s o n ' s p e r s p e c t i v e .

O u r t h i r d e n e m y i s f e a r . F e a r t h a t w e w i l l n o t g e t o u r w a y .

F e a r o f l o s i n g s o m e t h i n g w e c h e r i s h . F e a r w e w i l l b e m a d e

t o l o o k f o o l i s h o r l o s e f a c e . F e a r o f t h e t r u t h . . . t h a t w e

m a y b e w r o n g .

O u r f o u r t h e n e m y i s t h e a s s u m p t i o n t h a t o n e o f u s h a s t o

l o s e i f t h e o t h e r i s g o i n g t o w i n : t h a t s u c h d i f f e r e n c e s c a n

o n l y b e s o l v e d c o m p e t i t i v e l y .

T h e g o o d n e w s i s t h a t t h e r e a r e s i m p l e a n d e f f e c t i v e t o o l s t o s p i n

p o s i t i v e s o l u t i o n s a n d s t r e n g t h e n r e l a t i o n s h i p s o u t o f

d i s a g r e e m e n t s . B u t l e t n o t t h e s i m p l i c i t y o f t h e c o n c e p t s o b s c u r e

t h e c h a l l e n g e o f c a r r y i n g t h e m o u t c o n s i s t e n t l y . C e r t a i n l y l i f e

g i v e s u s p l e n t y o f o p p o r t u n i t i e s t o p r a c t i c e a n d a t t e m p t t o

i m p r o v e . H o w e v e r , t h e f o e s o u t l i n e d a b o v e t a k e e f f o r t t o

o v e r c o m e .

T o o l s f o r I m p r o v e d C o m m u n i c a t i o n

T w o p r i n c i p l e s h a v e c o n t r i b u t e d g r e a t l y t o t h e p r o d u c t i v e h a n d l i n g

o f d i s a g r e e m e n t s . T h e f i r s t , " S e e k f i r s t t o u n d e r s t a n d , t h e n t o b e

u n d e r s t o o d , " w a s i n t r o d u c e d b y S t e v e n C o v e y , i n   S e v e n H a b i t s o f

H i g h l y E f f e c t i v e P e o p l e . 1   I f w e e n c o u r a g e o t h e r s t o e x p l a i n t h e i r

s i d e f i r s t , t h e y w i l l b e m o r e a p t t o l i s t e n t o o u r s .

F o r i n s t a n c e , I s o m e t i m e s n e e d t o i n t e r v i e w f a r m p e r s o n n e l a b o u t

t h e i r f e e l i n g s o n v a r i o u s s u b j e c t s . O n e d a y I c a m e a c r o s s a f a r m

o w n e r w h o w a s l e s s t h a n e n t h u s i a s t i c a b o u t m y p r o j e c t .

I t w a s c l e a r f r o m h i s w o r d s a n d t o n e t h a t I w o u l d   n o t   b e

i n t e r v i e w i n g a n y o n e o n h i s f a r m , s o I s w i t c h e d m y f o c u s t o

l i s t e n i n g . T h e f a r m e r s h a r e d c o n c e r n s o n a n u m b e r o f t r o u b l e s o m e

i s s u e s a n d w e p a r t e d a m i a b l y . W h e n I w a s o n m y w a y t o m y

v e h i c l e t h e f a r m e r y e l l e d , " G o a h e a d ! "

" G o a h e a d a n d w h a t ? " I t u r n e d a r o u n d a n d i n q u i r e d . T o m y

s u r p r i s e h e r e s p o n d e d , " G o a h e a d a n d i n t e r v i e w m y w o r k e r s . " T h e

C o v e y p r i n c i p l e w a s a t w o r k .

T h e s e c o n d p r i n c i p l e , i n t r o d u c e d b y R o g e r F i s h e r a n d W i l l i a m U r y

i n t h e i r s e m i n a l w o r k ,   G e t t i n g t o Y e s , 2   i s t h a t p e o p l e i n

d i s a g r e e m e n t s h o u l d   f o c u s o n t h e i r n e e d s   r a t h e r t h a n o n t h e i r

p o s i t i o n s . B y c o n c e n t r a t i n g o n p o s i t i o n s , w e t e n d t o u n d e r s c o r e

o u r d i s a g r e e m e n t s . W h e n w e c o n c e n t r a t e o n n e e d s , w e f i n d w e

h a v e m o r e i n c o m m o n t h a n w h a t w e h a d a s s u m e d . U r y a n d F i s h e r

s u g g e s t w e a t t e m p t t o   s a t i s f y t h e s u m o f b o t h t h e i r n e e d s a n d o u r

n e e d s .

W h e n t h e l i g h t g o e s o n w e r e a l i z e t h a t i t i s n o t a   z e r o s u m

g a m e   ( w h e r e o n e p e r s o n h a s t o l o s e f o r t h e o t h e r t o w i n ) . N o r i s i t

n e c e s s a r y t o s o l v e d i s a g r e e m e n t s w i t h a l a m e c o m p r o m i s e .

I n s t e a d , o f t e n b o t h p a r t i e s c a n b e w i n n e r s . I n d i v i d u a l s c a n l e a r n

h o w t o k e e p c o m m u n i c a t i o n l i n e s o p e n a n d s o l v e c h a l l e n g e s w h e n

t h i n g s g o w r o n g . L e a r n i n g t o d i s a g r e e a m i c a b l y a n d w o r k t h r o u g h

p r o b l e m s i s p e r h a p s o n e o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t i n t e r p e r s o n a l s k i l l s

w e c a n d e v e l o p .

P u t t i n g i t a l l t o g e t h e r

I f w e c o m e r i g h t o u t a n d t e l l s o m e o n e , " I d i s a g r e e , " w e a r e a p t t o

a l i e n a t e t h a t p e r s o n . S u c c e s s f u l n e g o t i a t o r s a r e m o r e l i k e l y t o

l a b e l t h e i r i n t e n t i o n s , s u c h a s a d e s i r e t o a s k a d i f f i c u l t q u e s t i o n

o r p r o v i d e a s u g g e s t i o n , a n d a r e l e s s p r o n e t o l a b e l

d i s a g r e e m e n t . 3   P r o b l e m s a r e l i k e l y , h o w e v e r , t o i n c r e a s e i f w e p u t

a l l o u r n e e d s a s i d e t o f o c u s o n a n o t h e r p e r s o n ’ s p e r s p e c t i v e . T h e

o t h e r p a r t y m a y t h i n k w e h a v e n o n e e d s a n d b e q u i t e t a k e n b a c k

w h e n w e i n t r o d u c e t h e m a l l o f a s u d d e n , a l m o s t a s a n

a f t e r t h o u g h t .

I n o r d e r t o a v o i d s u c h u n p r o d u c t i v e s h o c k , I l i k e t h e i d e a o f b r i e f l y

s a y i n g s o m e t h i n g a l o n g t h e s e l i n e s . " I s e e t h a t w e l o o k a t t h i s

i s s u e f r o m d i f f e r e n t p e r s p e c t i v e s . W h i l e I w a n t t o s h a r e m y n e e d s

a n d v i e w s w i t h y o u l a t e r ,   l e t m e f i r s t f o c u s o n y o u r t h o u g h t s ,

n e e d s , a n d o b s e r v a t i o n s . " A t t h i s p o i n t , w e c a n n o w p u t o u r n e e d s

a s i d e , a t t e m p t t o t r u l y l i s t e n , a n d s a y : " S o , h e l p m e u n d e r s t a n d

w h a t y o u r c o n c e r n s a r e r e g a r d i n g . . . . "

T h a t i s t h e e a s y p a r t . T h e d i f f i c u l t y c o m e s i n f u l f i l l i n g s u c h a

r e s o l u t i o n t o r e a l l y l i s t e n t o r e s i s t t h e t e n d e n c y t o i n t e r r u p t w i t h

o b j e c t i o n s n o m a t t e r h o w u n f o u n d e d s o m e o f t h e c o m m e n t s m a y

b e . I n s t e a d o f t e l l i n g s o m e o n e t h a t w e   u n d e r s t a n d   ( j u s t s o t h e y

c a n f i n i s h a n d g i v e u s a t u r n t o p r e s e n t o u r p e r s p e c t i v e ) , w e c a n

b e m u c h m o r e e f f e c t i v e b y r e v e a l i n g e x a c t l y   w h a t i t i s t h a t w e

u n d e r s t a n d . A l l a l o n g w e m u s t r e s i s t , a s w e l i s t e n , t h e t e m p t a t i o n

t o b r i n g u p o u r v i e w p o i n t s a n d c o n c e r n s . I n t r y i n g t o c o m p r e h e n d ,

w e m a y n e e d t o p u t o u r u n d e r s t a n d i n g i n t e r m s o f a q u e s t i o n , o r a

t e n t a t i v e s t a t e m e n t . T h i s w a y w e s h o w t r u e a w a r e n e s s .

W e m a y h a v e t o r e f i n e o u r s t a t e m e n t u n t i l t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r

a p p r o v e s i t a s a c o r r e c t u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f h i s p o s i t i o n o r n e e d . I t i s

n e c e s s a r y n o t o n l y t o u n d e r s t a n d , b u t f o r t h e o t h e r p e r s o n t o   f e e l

u n d e r s t o o d . O n l y n o w c a n w e b e g i n t o e x p l a i n o u r p e r s p e c t i v e a n d

e x p e c t t o b e f u l l y l i s t e n e d t o . O n c e w e h a v e l a i d o u t o u r c o n c e r n s ,

w e c a n f o c u s o n a c r e a t i v e s o l u t i o n . I f w e h a v e h a d n o h i s t o r y w i t h

s o m e o n e , o r a n e g a t i v e o n e , w e n e e d t o u s e m o r e c a u t i o n w h e n

d i s a g r e e i n g . T h e p o t e n t i a l f o r a d i s a g r e e m e n t t o b e s i d e - r a i l e d

i n t o c o n t e n t i o n i s a l w a y s t h e r e . I t h e l p s i f w e h a v e m a d e g o o d w i l l

d e p o s i t s o v e r t i m e .

Involving a Third Party

S o m e t i m e s d i f f e r e n c e s i n o r g a n i z a t i o n a l l e v e l , p e r s o n a l i t y o r s e l f -

e s t e e m a m o n g t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s i n a d i s a g r e e m e n t r e q u i r e t h e

p a r t i c i p a t i o n o f a t h i r d p a r t y . F o r i n s t a n c e , o n e s u p e r v i s o r h a d

r e s o r t e d t o b u l l y i n g a n d i m p l i e d t h r e a t s t o g e t h i s w a y . " I w o u l d

h a v e g l a d l y t r i e d t o f i n d a w a y t o h e l p m y s u p e r v i s o r a c h i e v e h i s

g o a l s , " t h e s u b o r d i n a t e e x p l a i n e d t h r o u g h h e r t e a r s . " B u t n o w I a m

s o s e n s i t i z e d , I a m a f r a i d o f t a l k i n g t o h i m . "

T e l l i n g e m p l o y e e s t o w o r k o u t t h e i r t r o u b l e s o n t h e i r o w n , g r o w u p ,

o r s h a k e h a n d s a n d g e t a l o n g m a y w o r k o c c a s i o n a l l y , b u t m o s t o f

t h e t i m e t h e c o n f l i c t w i l l o n l y b e s e n t u n d e r g r o u n d t o r e s u r f a c e

l a t e r i n m o r e d e s t r u c t i v e w a y s .

A b e t t e r a p p r o a c h i s t o a l l o w e m p l o y e e s t o m e e t w i t h a t h i r d p a r t y ,

o r m e d i a t o r   ( w h i c h , i n s o m e c a s e s , m a y b e a m a n a g e r o r t h e f a r m

o w n e r ) , t o a s s i s t t h e m i n t h e i r o w n r e s o l u t i o n o f t h e c o n f l i c t .

A l l t h i n g s b e i n g e q u a l , a n o u t s i d e m e d i a t o r h a s a g r e a t e r c h a n c e

o f s u c c e e d i n g . A n i n s i d e r m a y b e p a r t o f t h e p r o b l e m , m a y b e

p e r c e i v e d a s f a v o r i n g o n e o f t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s , a n d t h e

s t a k e h o l d e r s m a y b e h e s i t a n t t o s h a r e c o n f i d e n t i a l i n f o r m a t i o n

w i t h a n i n s i d e r .

I f t h e i n s i d e r i s a s u p e r v i s o r , t h e m e d i a t o r r o l e b e c o m e s m o r e

d i f f i c u l t , a s s u p e r v i s o r s t e n d t o b e c o m e o v e r l y d i r e c t i v e , t a k i n g

m o r e o f a n a r b i t e r ' s r o l e a n d f o r c i n g a d e c i s i o n u p o n t h e p a r t i e s .

T h e c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t p r o c e s s i s m o r e a p t t o s u c c e e d i f

s t a k e h o l d e r s h a v e r e s p e c t f o r t h e m e d i a t o r ' s i n t e g r i t y , i m p a r t i a l i t y ,

a n d a b i l i t y . R e s p e c t f o r t h e m e d i a t o r i s i m p o r t a n t , s o s t a k e h o l d e r s

w i l l b e o n t h e i r b e s t b e h a v i o r , a n i m p o r t a n t e l e m e n t i n s u c c e s s f u l

n e g o t i a t i o n . A l t h o u g h n o t a l w a y s t h e c a s e , o v e r - f a m i l i a r i t y w i t h a n

i n s i d e m e d i a t o r m a y n e g a t e t h i s " b e s t b e h a v i o r " e f f e c t .

A n o u t s i d e m e d i a t o r s h o u l d t r e a t i s s u e s w i t h c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y .

E x c e p t i o n s a r e s u c h i n s t a n c e s a s w h e r e i l l e g a l a c t i v i t i e s h a v e

t a k e n p l a c e ( e . g . , s e x u a l h a r a s s m e n t ) .

A l l p a r t i e s s h o u l d b e i n f o r m e d o f e x c e p t i o n s t o t h e c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y

r u l e a h e a d o f t i m e . A n y s h a r i n g o f i n f o r m a t i o n b a s e d o n t h e

e x c e p t i o n s n e e d s t o b e d o n e o n a n e e d - t o - k n o w b a s i s t o m i n i m i z e

g i v i n g o u t i n f o r m a t i o n t h a t c o u l d h u r t o n e o r b o t h o f t h e p a r t i e s .

E m p l o y e e s m a y b e l e s s h e s i t a n t t o s p e a k o u t w h e n a s s u r e d o f

c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y . S o m e t i m e s c o n f l i c t s i n v o l v e p e r s o n a l i s s u e s .

A m u c h m o r e s e n s i t i v e s i t u a t i o n i n v o l v e s t h e r o l e o f t h e m e d i a t o r

w h e n s t a k e h o l d e r s a r e n o t a b l e t o c o m e t o a n e g o t i a t e d r e s o l u t i o n .

R e s e a r c h e r s h a v e f o u n d t h a t , i n s o m e i n s t a n c e s , m e d i a t i o n w o r k s

b e s t w h e n t h e t h i r d p a r t y i s a b l e t o c h a n g e r o l e s , a n d i n t h e e v e n t

t h a t m e d i a t i o n f a i l s , b e c o m e a n a r b i t e r . O n t h e p l u s s i d e ,

s t a k e h o l d e r s m a y p u t t h e i r b e s t f o o t f o r w a r d a n d t r y h a r d t o

r e s o l v e i s s u e s . U n f o r t u n a t e l y , w h i l e s o m e m e d i a t o r s m a y b e a b l e

t o p l a y b o t h r o l e s w i t h o u t m a n i p u l a t i n g t h e s i t u a t i o n , t h e r o a d i s

l e f t w i d e o p e n f o r a b u s e o f p o w e r . F u r t h e r m o r e , i n d i v i d u a l s m a y

f e e l c o e r c e d a n d n o t t r u s t a m e d i a t o r w h e n w h a t i s s a i d i n

c o n f i d e n c e n o w m a y b e t a k e n a g a i n s t t h e m l a t e r .

M e d i a t i o n

M e d i a t i o n h e l p s s t a k e h o l d e r s d i s c u s s i s s u e s , r e p a i r p a s t i n j u r i e s ,

a n d d e v e l o p t h e t o o l s n e e d e d t o f a c e d i s a g r e e m e n t s e f f e c t i v e l y .

M e d i a t o r s m a y h e l p p a r t i c i p a n t s g l i m p s e a t t h e i r b l i n d s p o t s ,

b r o a d e n t h e i r p e r s p e c t i v e s , a n d e v e n m u d d l e t h r o u g h t h e p r o b l e m -

s o l v i n g p r o c e s s . Y e t , s u c c e s s f u l m e d i a t o r s r e m e m b e r t h a t t h e

c h a l l e n g e s a r e o w n e d b y t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s a n d d o n o t a t t e m p t t o

s h o r t - c i r c u i t t h e p r o c e s s b y s o l v i n g c h a l l e n g e s f o r t h e m .

M e d i a t o r s f a c i l i t a t e t h e p r o c e s s b y :

U n d e r s t a n d i n g e a c h p a r t i c i p a n t ’ s p e r s p e c t i v e t h r o u g h a

p r e - c a u c u s .

I n c r e a s i n g a n d e v a l u a t i n g p a r t i c i p a n t i n t e r e s t i n s o l v i n g t h e

c h a l l e n g e t h r o u g h m e d i a t i o n .

S e t t i n g g r o u n d r u l e s f o r i m p r o v e d c o m m u n i c a t i o n .

C o a c h i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s t h r o u g h t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n .

E q u a l i z i n g p o w e r ( e . g . , b e t w e e n p e r s o n s i n d i f f e r e n t

o r g a n i z a t i o n a l l e v e l s ) .

H e l p i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s p l a n f o r f u t u r e i n t e r a c t i o n .

U n d e r s t a n d i n g e a c h p a r t i c i p a n t ’ s p e r s p e c t i v e t h r o u g h a p r e - c a u c u s

T h e p r e - c a u c u s i s a s e p a r a t e m e e t i n g b e t w e e n t h e m e d i a t o r a n d

e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r b e f o r e t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s a r e b r o u g h t t o g e t h e r i n a

j o i n t s e s s i o n . D u r i n g t h e p r e - c a u c u s t h e m e d i a t o r w i l l b r i e f l y

e x p l a i n t h e i s s u e o f c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y a n d t h e m e c h a n i c s o f t h e

m e d i a t i o n p r o c e s s s o s t a k e h o l d e r s w i l l n o t b e s u r p r i s e d o r h a v e a

s e n s e o f b e i n g l o s t .

T h e m e d i a t o r a l s o s h o u l d o f f e r s t a k e h o l d e r s t h e o p p o r t u n i t y f o r

r e g u l a r c a u c u s i n g ( a m e e t i n g a w a y f r o m t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r ) a n y

t i m e t h e y f e e l a n e e d f o r i t . I t i s i m p o r t a n t t h a t s t a k e h o l d e r c o n t r o l

i s e m p h a s i z e d t h r o u g h o u t t h e p r o c e s s . P a r t i c i p a n t s s h o u l d n o t

a g r e e o n s o m e t h i n g j u s t f o r t h e s a k e o f a g r e e m e n t . I f t h e r e a r e y e t

u n m e t n e e d s , t h e s e s h o u l d b e b r o u g h t u p . S o m e t i m e s , a f e w

c h a n g e s i n a p o t e n t i a l s o l u t i o n c a n m a k e t h e d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n

a n a g r e e m e n t t h a t w i l l f a i l o r s u c c e e d .

W h i l e t h e r e a r e h u n d r e d s o f f a c t o r s t h a t c a n a f f e c t t h e s u c c e s s f u l

r e s o l u t i o n o f a c o n f l i c t , t h e p r e - c a u c u s i s o n e o f   t h e p i l l a r s o f

c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t . 4   I t i s e s p e c i a l l y u s e f u l w h e n d e a l i n g w i t h

d e e p - s e a t e d i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t a n d m e d i a t i o n .

A l t h o u g h   a n y   t a l k i n g b e t w e e n t h e m e d i a t o r a n d o n e o f t h e

s t a k e h o l d e r s a l o n e c a n b e p e r c e i v e d a s s u s p e c t a n d p o t e n t i a l l y

i n f l u e n c e t h e n e u t r a l i t y o f t h e m e d i a t o r , s u c h f e a r s a s s u m e a

m e d i a t o r - d i r e c t i v e a p p r o a c h w h e r e t h e t h i r d p a r t y w i e l d s m u c h

p o w e r a n d o f t e n a c t s a s a q u a s i - a r b i t r a t o r . W h e n t h e m e d i a t i o n

p r o c e s s i s u n d e r s t o o d - - f r o m t h e b e g i n n i n g - - a s o n e w h e r e e a c h o f

t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s r e t a i n s c o n t r o l o v e r t h e o u t c o m e , l e s s i m p o r t a n c e

i s g i v e n t o m e d i a t o r n e u t r a l i t y .

T h e p r e - c a u c u s p r o v i d e s e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r a n o p p o r t u n i t y t o b e

h e a r d a n d u n d e r s t o o d . O n e o f t h e r e a s o n s w h y c o n f l i c t s i t u a t i o n s

a r e s o c h a l l e n g i n g , i s t h e n a t u r a l t e n d e n c y o f s t a k e h o l d e r s t o e a c h

w a n t t o e x p r e s s t h e i r r e s p e c t i v e p e r s p e c t i v e s f i r s t w h i c h t o s o m e

d e g r e e t a k e s p l a c e i n t h e p r e - c a u c u s . T h e m o r e d e e p - s e a t e d a n d

e m o t i o n a l t h e c o n f l i c t , t h e g r e a t e r t h i s n e e d .

A t a d a i r y o p e r a t i o n , I h a d j u s t b e e n i n t r o d u c e d t o o n e o f t h e

s t a k e h o l d e r s b y t h e f a r m o w n e r . A s s o o n a s t h e f a r m e r l e f t u s

a l o n e t o b e g i n o u r p r e - c a u c u s , t h e s t a k e h o l d e r b r o k e i n t o t e a r s . A

s i m i l a r s i t u a t i o n t o o k p l a c e a t a r o w c r o p f a r m e n t e r p r i s e w h e r e

o n e o f t h e f a r m m a n a g e r s b e g a n t o c r y , o s t e n s i b l y b e c a u s e o f

o t h e r i s s u e s p r e s s i n g h e a v i l y u p o n h i m . H a d t h e s e m e n c o m e

i m m e d i a t e l y i n t o a j o i n t m e e t i n g w i t h t h e i r r e s p e c t i v e c o n t e n d e r s ,

t h e i r f e e l i n g s o f v u l n e r a b i l i t y m i g h t j u s t a s e a s i l y h a v e t u r n e d i n t o

a n g e r a n d d e f e n s i v e n e s s .

O n e m a n a g e r t o l d m e t h a t t h e p r e - c a u c u s w o u l d b e v e r y s h o r t w i t h

a m i l k e r w h o w a s n o t a m a n o f m a n y w o r d s . T h e m i l k e r s p o k e f o r

a l m o s t t w o h o u r s . B y t h e t i m e w e f i n i s h e d , h e f e l t u n d e r s t o o d a n d

h a d g a i n e d c o n f i d e n c e , a n d b y t h e t i m e w e w e r e i n t o t h e m i d d l e o f

t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n w i t h t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r , t h i s s a m e e m p l o y e e

w a s e v e n l a u g h i n g w h e n i t w a s a p p r o p r i a t e . I h a v e f o u n d t h a t

t h e s e " s i l e n t t y p e s " w i l l o f t e n o p e n u p d u r i n g a p r e - c a u c u s .

W h e n a s t a k e h o l d e r f e e l s u n d e r s t o o d , a n e n o r m o u s e m o t i o n a l

b u r d e n i s l i f t e d ; s t r e s s a n d d e f e n s i v e n e s s a r e r e d u c e d . T h i s m a k e s

p e o p l e m o r e c o n f i d e n t a n d r e c e p t i v e t o l i s t e n t o t h e o t h e r p a r t y .

S e p a r a t i n g t h e p e o p l e f r o m t h e c o n f l i c t .   W i n s l a d e a n d M o n k

i n   N a r r a t i v e M e d i a t i o n   a r g u e t h a t w h i l e p e o p l e a r e t h e o r e t i c a l l y

f r e e i n t e r m s o f w h a t t h e y s a y i n a c o n v e r s a t i o n , m o s t o f t e n

s t a k e h o l d e r s f e e l t h e i r r e s p o n s e s a r e i n f l u e n c e d b y t h e r e m a r k s o f

t h e o t h e r . T h e y o f t e n s e e t h e m s e l v e s e n t r a p p e d w i t h i n t h e c o n f l i c t

c y c l e .

W i n s l a d e a n d M o n k a s k i n d i v i d u a l s h o w t h e y m i g h t h a v e f e l t   f o r c e d

b y t h e c o n f l i c t   t o d o o r s a y t h i n g s t h a t t h e y w i s h t h e y h a d n o t . O r ,

h o w t h e c o n f l i c t h a s a f f e c t e d t h e m n e g a t i v e l y i n o t h e r w a y s . B y

p l a c i n g t h e   b l a m e o n t h e   c o n f l i c t i t s e l f , t h e m e d i a t o r a l l o w s t h e

s t a k e h o l d e r s t o s a v e f a c e a n d s l o w l y d i s t a n c e t h e m s e l v e s f r o m t h e

c o n f l i c t - s a t u r a t e d s t o r y . S u c h a s i t u a t i o n c a n h e l p s t a k e h o l d e r s

d e t a c h t h e m s e l v e s f r o m t h e c o n f l i c t l o n g e n o u g h t o s e e t h a t e a c h

h a s a c h o i c e a s t o w h e t h e r h e w a n t s t o c o n t i n u e f e e d i n g t h e

c o n f l i c t . T h e a u t h o r s f u r t h e r s u g g e s t t h a t i f t h e m e d i a t o r l i s t e n s

w i t h a n   e t h i c o f c u r i o s i t y , u n e x p e c t e d b e n e f i t s a r e l i k e l y t o a r i s e .

I n s t e a d o f m e r e l y l i s t e n i n g t o c o n f i r m h u n c h e s a n d r e c o n c i l e f a c t s ,

t h e t h i r d p a r t y r e a l i z e s t h a t s t a k e h o l d e r s o f t e n b r i n g t o m e d i a t i o n

a n o l i v e b r a n c h a l o n g w i t h t h e i r a n g e r a n d d e s p a i r . T h u s ,

s t a k e h o l d e r s o f t e n h o l d t h e v e r y k e y s t o t h e r e c o n s t r u c t i o n o f

b r o k e n r e l a t i o n s h i p s a n d t o t h e s o l v i n g o f c h a l l e n g e s . B u t t h e

m e d i a t o r h a s t o h a v e e n o u g h c o n f i d e n c e i n p e o p l e a n d i n t h e

p r o c e s s t o a l l o w t h e s e i s s u e s t o s u r f a c e a n d t o b e o n t h e l o o k o u t

f o r t h e m s o t h e y d o n o t g o u n n o t i c e d . 5

D u r i n g t h e p r e - c a u c u s , t h e m e d i a t o r n o t e s a s m a n y i s s u e s a s

p o s s i b l e f r o m e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r ( t h e y o f t e n o v e r l a p c o n s i d e r a b l y )

a n d l a t e r i n t r o d u c e s t h e m i n a s y s t e m a t i c f a s h i o n f o r t h e

s t a k e h o l d e r s t o d i s c u s s i n t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n . T h e m o r e i s s u e s

r a i s e d , t h e g r e a t e r t h e o p p o r t u n i t y f o r d i s c u s s i o n a n d t h e l e s s

l i k e l i h o o d t h a t i m p o r t a n t i s s u e s w i l l b e l e f t o u t .

I n c r e a s i n g a n d e v a l u a t i n g p a r t i c i p a n t i n t e r e s t i n s o l v i n g c h a l l e n g e

t h r o u g h m e d i a t i o n

T h e r e s e e m s t o b e a p a t t e r n i n d e e p - s e a t e d o r g a n i z a t i o n a l

i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t : e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r i s o v e r l y d i s t r a c t e d w i t h

t h e s t r e s s o f t h e c o n f l i c t , h a s d i f f i c u l t y s l e e p i n g a t n i g h t , a n d i s

g e n e r a l l y t h i n k i n g o f q u i t t i n g . S o m e t i m e s i n d i v i d u a l s m a y b e i n

d e n i a l a b o u t t h e n e g a t i v e e f f e c t t h a t c o n t e n t i o n h a s i n t h e i r l i v e s .

O n e m a n a g e r c l a i m e d t h a t h e j u s t g o t a n g r y a n d e x p l o d e d , b u t t h a t

h i s a n g e r d i d n o t l a s t l o n g . H e e x p l a i n e d t h a t h e d i d n o t h o l d

g r u d g e s , t h a t b y t h e n e x t d a y h e h a d p u t a s i d e a n y b a d f e e l i n g s

f o r t h e o t h e r p e r s o n . D u r i n g a m e d i a t i o n s e s s i o n t h i s s a m e m a n g e r

a d m i t t e d t h a t a r e c e n t c o n f r o n t a t i o n w i t h t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r h a d

m a d e h i m s o a n g r y i t l e f t h i m s i c k f o r a c o u p l e o f d a y s . P a r t o f t h e

r o l e o f t h e m e d i a t o r i n m e e t i n g i n d i v i d u a l l y w i t h e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r

i s t o h e l p i n d i v i d u a l s v i s u a l i z e a l i f e w i t h o u t t h a t s t r e s s .

I n t h e p r o c e s s o f m e e t i n g w i t h t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s , t h e m e d i a t o r c a n

m a k e a m o r e i n f o r m e d d e t e r m i n a t i o n a s t o w h e t h e r t o p r o c e e d w i t h

m e d i a t i o n o r r e c o m m e n d a r b i t r a t i o n o r a n o t h e r a p p r o a c h . A s

e f f e c t i v e a s m e d i a t i o n c a n b e , u n d e r c e r t a i n c i r c u m s t a n c e s m o r e

h a r m t h a n g o o d c a n r e s u l t f r o m b r i n g i n g p a r t i e s t o g e t h e r . T h e

p u r p o s e o f m e d i a t i o n i s   n o t   t o s i m p l y p r o v i d e a s a f e p l a c e f o r

s t a k e h o l d e r s t o e x c h a n g e i n s u l t s !

T r a n s f o r m a t i v e o p p o r t u n i t i e s .   I n   T h e P r o m i s e o f M e d i a t i o n , B u s h

a n d F o l g e r s u g g e s t t h a t m e d i a t o r s w a t c h f o r a n d r e c o g n i z e

t r a n s f o r m a t i v e o p p o r t u n i t i e s i n t e r m s o f   r e c o g n i t i o n   t h a t c a n b e

o f f e r e d b e t w e e n p a r t i c i p a n t s . S u c h r e c o g n i t i o n m a y i n v o l v e

c o m p l i m e n t s o r s h o w i n g u n d e r s t a n d i n g , e m p a t h y , o r o t h e r f o r m s o f

m u t u a l v a l i d a t i o n . 6   A f r u i t g r o w e r , a l m o s t a s a n a s i d e , h a d

s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e t o s a y a b o u t t h e o t h e r p a r t y , " O n e t h i n g I r e a l l y

v a l u e a b o u t t h e f a r m m a n a g e r i s t h a t h e s h o w s p r i d e i n h i s w o r k - -

s o m e t h i n g I r e a l l y a d m i r e d i n m y f a t h e r . " T h e g r o w e r r e a c t e d

n e g a t i v e l y t o t h e i d e a o f s h a r i n g t h i s w i t h t h e f a r m m a n a g e r , y e t

d e c i d e d t o d o s o h i s o w n d u r i n g t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n .

L o o k i n g f o r t h e p o s i t i v e .   W h i l e a n u m b e r o f i s s u e s c a n a f f e c t t h e

l i k e l y s u c c e s s o f a j o i n t m e d i a t i o n s e s s i o n , p e r h a p s n o n e i s a s

t e l l i n g a s a s k i n g e a c h s t a k e h o l d e r w h a t t h e y v a l u e i n t h e o t h e r

c o n t e n d e r . T h i s q u e s t i o n s h o u l d b e a s k e d   a f t e r t h e p a r t i c i p a n t h a s

h a d a c h a n c e t o v e n t , a n d t h e m e d i a t o r h a s s h o w n u n d e r s t a n d i n g

f o r t h e c h a l l e n g e s f r o m t h e s t a k e h o l d e r ' s p e r s p e c t i v e .

T h e r e i s a h u m a n t e n d e n c y n o t t o f i n d a n y t h i n g o f v a l u e i n a

p e r s o n w i t h w h o m t h e r e h a s b e e n d e e p - s e a t e d c o n t e n t i o n . A f t e r a

p e r s o n f e e l s u n d e r s t o o d b y t h e m e d i a t o r , t h e r e i s a g r e a t e r

l i k e l i h o o d t h a t t h e s t a k e h o l d e r w i l l s e e a l i t t l e l i g h t o f g o o d i n h i s

c o n t e n d e r .

W i t h o u t t h i s t i n y l i g h t o f h o p e , w i t h o u t t h i s l i t t l e o l i v e b r a n c h ,

t h e r e i s n o p o i n t i n p r o c e e d i n g . I f t h e r e i s n o t h i n g o f s i g n i f i c a n c e

t h a t o n e p e r s o n c a n v a l u e a b o u t t h e o t h e r , m o r e h a r m t h a n g o o d

c a n c o m e o u t o f t h e m e d i a t i o n . A n d i t i s n o t e n o u g h t o s a y t h a t t h e

o t h e r p e r s o n " i s a l w a y s o n t i m e , " " d r i v e s a n i c e p i c k u p , " " i s

a t t r a c t i v e , " o r " d o e s n o t s m e l l . "

S o m e t i m e s o n e o f t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s w i l l b e m o r e n o b l e t h a n t h e

o t h e r , a l i t t l e m o r e p r o n e t o s e e g o o d i n t h e o t h e r . O n o n e

o c c a s i o n , I h a d a l r e a d y m e t w i t h s u c h a n i n d i v i d u a l i n a p r e -

c a u c u s a n d a s k e d t h e s e c o n d s t a k e h o l d e r , d u r i n g h i s p r e - c a u c u s ,

f o r t h e p o s i t i v e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f t h e f i r s t . W h e n t h e a n s w e r w a s

“ n o n e , ” I s h a r e d t h e p o s i t i v e t h i n g s t h a t w e r e s a i d a b o u t h i m b y

t h e f i r s t e m p l o y e e a n d a s k e d a g a i n . B e c a u s e s t a k e h o l d e r s w a n t t o

s e e m r e a s o n a b l e , e s p e c i a l l y a f t e r h e a r i n g s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e

a b o u t t h e m s e l v e s , I w a s s u r p r i s e d b y a s e c o n d r e f u s a l b y t h e m o r e

r e t i c e n t s t a k e h o l d e r t o f i n d a n y t h i n g o f v a l u e a b o u t t h e o t h e r .

“ W e l l , i f t h e r e i s   n o t h i n g   p o s i t i v e y o u c a n s a y a b o u t t h e o t h e r

e m p l o y e e , t h e r e i s n o p u r p o s e i n a t t e m p t i n g a c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t

s e s s i o n t o g e t h e r , ” I e x p l a i n e d . I s u g g e s t e d a s h o r t b r e a k . W h e n w e

r e t u r n e d , t h e t a c i t u r n s t a k e h o l d e r h a d p r e p a r e d a l o n g l i s t o f

p o s i t i v e a t t r i b u t e s a b o u t t h e o t h e r e m p l o y e e . I h a v e s i n c e r e a l i z e d ,

t h a t i f a c o n t e n d e r i s n o t r e a d y t o s a y s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e a b o u t

a n o t h e r , a n a d d i t i o n a l p r e - c a u c u s m a y b e n e e d e d .

R e p a i r i n g p a s t i n j u r i e s .   O c c a s i o n a l l y , i t h e l p s t o r o l e p l a y t o

i d e n t i f y p o t e n t i a l p i t f a l l s a h e a d o f t i m e . F o r i n s t a n c e , a t o n e f a r m

o p e r a t i o n , a m a n a g e r ' s a n g r y o u t b u r s t s w e r e w e l l k n o w n . M a r t i n ,

t h e m a n a g e r , h a d m i n i m i z e d t h e s e r i o u s n e s s o f h i s p r o b l e m . A c o -

m e d i a t o r r o l e - p l a y e d t h e o t h e r p a r t y i n t h e c o n t e n t i o n . " M a r t i n , "

s h e b e g a n . " W h e n y o u g e t a n g r y a t m e , s h o u t a t m e a n d u s e

p r o f a n i t y , I f e e l v e r y b a d l y . "

" W e l l , I a m s o s o r r y I h a v e u s e d b a d l a n g u a g e w i t h y o u a n d b e e n

a n g r y a t y o u , " M a r t i n b e g a n n i c e l y . " B u t . . . . " A n d t h e n M a r t i n

b e g a n t o e x c u s e h i m s e l f a n d t o p l a c e c o n d i t i o n s o n c o n t r o l l i n g h i s

a n g e r . A t t h i s m o m e n t I h a d t o i n t e r r u p t . A n a p o l o g y w i t h

a   c o m m a   o r a   b u t   i s n o t a t r u e a p o l o g y , b u t m e r e l y a s t a t e m e n t o f

j u s t i f i c a t i o n , I e x p l a i n e d . I n t o t a l f r u s t r a t i o n M a r t i n t u r n e d t o m e

a n d s a i d , " L o o k , e v e r y o n e h a s t h e i r s t y l e . S o m e p e o p l e d e a l w i t h

d i s a g r e e m e n t t h i s w a y o r t h a t . I a m a n e x p e r t i n   i n t i m i d a t i o n . I f I

c a n ' t u s e i n t i m i d a t i o n , w h a t c a n I d o s o I d o n ' t g e t r u n o v e r ? A m I

s u p p o s e d t o j u s t s i t h e r e a n d t e l l h i m h o w n i c e h e i s a n d n o t b r i n g

u p a n y o f t h e a r e a s o f d i s a g r e e m e n t ? "

W h e n m e d i a t o r s h a v e d o n e t h e i r h o m e w o r k d u r i n g t h e p r e - c a u c u s ,

t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n c a n b e v e r y p o s i t i v e . T h i s c a s e i n v o l v i n g M a r t i n

w a s o n e o f t h e m o s t d i f f i c u l t I h a d e v e r d e a l t w i t h , y e t o n c e t h e

j o i n t s e s s i o n b e g a n , b o t h m a n a g e r s d i d m o s t o f t h e t a l k i n g . T h e y

w e r e e x t r e m e l y c o r d i a l , a t t e n t i v e , a n d a m i c a b l e , s h o w i n g

u n d e r s t a n d i n g f o r e a c h o t h e r . A l t h o u g h t h e p r o b l e m s w e r e n o t

s o l v e d f r o m o n e d a y t o t h e n e x t , a y e a r l a t e r t h e r e h a d b e e n m u c h

p o s i t i v e p r o g r e s s .

S e t t i n g g r o u n d r u l e s f o r i m p r o v e d c o m m u n i c a t i o n

I n d i v i d u a l s a t t e m p t t o c u l t i v a t e a n i d e n t i t y o r p r o j e c t i o n o f w h o

t h e y a r e . F o r i n s t a n c e , a p e r s o n m a y s e e h e r s e l f a s a n

i n t e l l e c t u a l , a n o t h e r m a y s e e h i m s e l f a s a n o u t d o o r s p e r s o n , a

c o w b o y , o r a n a r t i s t . S u c h i d e n t i t y l a b e l s a r e j u s t a s m a l l p a r t o f a

m u c h d e e p e r a n d c o m p l e x s e t o f t r a i t s t h a t a n y i n d i v i d u a l w o u l d

v a l u e .

A n i m p o r t a n t p a r t o f m i n d f u l i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n i s t h e

m u t u a l v a l i d a t i o n o f s u c h i d e n t i t i e s , t h r o u g h a p r o c e s s o f i d e n t i t y

n e g o t i a t i o n . P e o p l e t e n d t o b u i l d b o n d s w i t h t h o s e w h o s e e m

s u p p o r t i v e o f t h e i d e n t i t y t h e y a t t e m p t t o p r o j e c t . 7   S u c h m u t u a l

v a l i d a t i o n i s o n e o f t h e k e y s t o e f f e c t i v e i n t e r p e r s o n a l r e l a t i o n s .

L a c k o f v a l i d a t i o n n o r m a l l y p l a y s a v i t a l r o l e i n i n t e r p e r s o n a l

c o n f l i c t , a s w e l l . S o m e o f t h e m o s t h u r t f u l t h i n g s a n o t h e r

i n d i v i d u a l c a n s a y t o u s , a r e a n a t t a c k o n o u r s e l f i m a g e o r v a l u e d

i d e n t i t y .

P e o p l e d o n o t j u s t p r o j e c t i d e n t i t i e s o f w h o t h e y a r e , b u t a l s o t h e

p e r s o n a l q u a l i t i e s o f w h o t h e y w i s h t o b e c o m e . W h e n a p e r s o n ' s

w e a k n e s s e s a r e e x p o s e d , h e m a y r e a s o n t h a t i t i s n o t w o r t h t r y i n g

t o p r e t e n d a n y m o r e . B e c a u s e t h o s e w h o a r e c l o s e s t t o u s a r e m o r e

l i k e l y t o h a v e s e e n o u r w e a k n e s s e s , w e m a y f i r s t

s t o p   p r e t e n d i n g   w i t h f a m i l y , c l o s e f r i e n d s , a n d p e o p l e a t w o r k .

T h i s a t t i t u d e a l s o p l a y s a n i m p o r t a n t p a r t i n i n t e r p e r s o n a l c o n f l i c t .

O n e o f t h e i m p o r t a n t r o l e s o f a m e d i a t o r i s t o h e l p s t a k e h o l d e r s

w h o h a v e c r o s s e d t h e l i n e a n d s t o p p e d p r e t e n d i n g , t o r e - c r o s s

b a c k , a n d t h u s g e t a s e c o n d c h a n c e a t a r e l a t i o n s h i p . I f w e h a v e

d e c i d e d t o t h u s c h a n g e o u r b e h a v i o r , i t h e l p s t o c l e a r l y s t a t e o u r

i n t e n t i o n s a h e a d o f t i m e , s o t h a t o u r n e w a n d c o r r e c t e d b e h a v i o r i s

n o t m i s u n d e r s t o o d .

C o a c h i n g a n d m o d e l i n g e f f e c t i v e i n t e r a c t i o n s t y l e s i s a n o n g o i n g

t a s k f o r t h e m e d i a t o r . T h e o b j e c t i v e i s f o r s t a k e h o l d e r s t o i n c r e a s e

t h e i r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f e f f e c t i v e i n t e r p e r s o n a l r e l a t i o n s . B e f o r e

c o n f l i c t i n g p a r t i e s m e e t , i t h e l p s t o s e t g r o u n d r u l e s t h a t w i l l h e l p

p a r t i e s a v o i d h u r t f u l c o m m e n t s , a n d e v e n i n c r e a s e p o s i t i v e

v a l i d a t i n g o n e s . G r o u n d r u l e s w i l l h e l p t h e c o n f l i c t f r o m e s c a l a t i n g

a n d s a v e t i m e o n c e m e d i a t i o n i s u n d e r w a y . I t i s n o t t h e r o l e o f t h e

m e d i a t o r t o s i m p l y a l l o w t h e c o n t e n d e r s t o e x c h a n g e c y n i c a l

r e m a r k s , i n s u l t s , n a m e c a l l i n g , a n d t h r e a t s i n a p s y c h o l o g i c a l l y

s a f e r e n v i r o n m e n t . N o r s h o u l d t h e m e d i a t o r a l l o w c o n t e n d e r s t o

d r a g h e r i n t o t h e c o n t r o v e r s y . I n s t e a d , t h e m e d i a t o r m a y h a v e t o

r e m i n d e m p l o y e e s t o d i r e c t t h e i r c o m m e n t s t o ( a n d k e e p v i s u a l

c o n t a c t w i t h ) t h e o t h e r p e r s o n i n v o l v e d i n t h e d i s a g r e e m e n t .

O v e r l y v a g u e o r b r o a d s t a t e m e n t s s u c h a s , " Y o u a r e

i n c o n s i d e r a t e , " o r , " Y o u a r e o v e r b e a r i n g , " d o l i t t l e t o f a c i l i t a t e

m u t u a l u n d e r s t a n d i n g . S p e c i f i c i s s u e s , o r e v e n t s , a n d w h a t

m o t i v a t e d e a c h t o a c t i n c e r t a i n w a y s , m a y b e m o r e u s e f u l . I n t h e

p r e - c a u c u s , a s k t h e s t a k e h o l d e r u s i n g s u c h s w e e p i n g s t a t e m e n t s

f o r e x a m p l e s o f t i m e s w h e n t h e o t h e r i n d i v i d u a l a c t e d i n

i n c o n s i d e r a t e , o v e r b e a r i n g , u n t r u s t w o r t h y o r s e l f i s h w a y s . T h e s e

b e h a v i o r s c a n l a t e r b e d i s c u s s e d i n t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n .

N a m e - c a l l i n g c a n h a v e a v e r y n e g a t i v e e f f e c t . F o r i n s t a n c e , a

M e x i c a n d a i r y e m p l o y e e c a l l e d a n o t h e r e m p l o y e e a   r a c i s t . T h a t i s

a p r e t t y b i g w o r d , w i t h v e r y s t r o n g c o n n o t a t i o n s . T h e o t h e r

s t a k e h o l d e r , a P o r t u g u e s e m i l k e r , w a s v e r y h u r t b y t h e u s e o f s u c h

a w o r d . T h e m e d i a t o r s t o p p e d t h e c o n v e r s a t i o n t o m a k e s u r e a l l

w e r e d e f i n i n g t h e w o r d i n t h e s a m e w a y . " A r e y o u s a y i n g t h a t t h i s

m i l k e r t r e a t s y o u d i f f e r e n t b e c a u s e y o u a r e M e x i c a n a n d h e i s

P o r t u g u e s e ? " A f t e r t h e t e r m w a s w e l l e x p l a i n e d a n d a f e w m o r e

q u e s t i o n s a s k e d , t h e M e x i c a n m i l k e r e n d e d u p a p o l o g i z i n g , a n d t h e

P o r t u g u e s e e m p l o y e e h a d t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o t e l l a s t o r y t h a t

i l l u s t r a t e d h e w a s n o t r a c i s t . I t i s n o t t h e r o l e o f t h e m e d i a t o r t o

r e j e c t s u c h a s a c c u s a t i o n w i t h o u t a l l o w i n g s t a k e h o l d e r s t o s p e a k

w h a t i s i n t h e i r m i n d .

B e s i d e n a m e - c a l l i n g , t h e u s e o f o t h e r   l a b e l s   c a n i n c r e a s e

c o n t e n t i o n . C a l l i n g s o m e o n e b y a l a b e l , e v e n w h e n t h e p e r s o n

i d e n t i f i e s w i t h s u c h ( e . g . , a p e r s o n ' s n a t i o n a l i t y ) , c a n b e o f f e n s i v e

d e p e n d i n g o n t h e t o n e a n d c o n t e x t . A m o r e s u b t l e u s e o f l a b e l i n g ,

o n e t h a t c a n h a v e t h e s a m e n e g a t i v e e f f e c t , i s d e s c r i b i n g o u r o w n

p e r s p e c t i v e a s b e l o n g i n g t o a d e s i r a b l e l a b e l ( e . g . , a p a r t i c u l a r l y

c h e r i s h e d p h i l o s o p h y , p r i n c i p l e o r b e l i e f ) , w h i l e a s s i g n i n g t h a t o f

a n o t h e r t o a n u n d e s i r a b l e o n e .

S t a k e h o l d e r s a l s o l o o k f o r w a y s t o e n l i s t e v e n t h e o r e t i c a l o t h e r s

i n t o s u p p o r t i n g t h e i r v i e w s . T h e y m a y a t t e m p t t o i n f l a t e t h e

i m p o r t a n c e o f t h e i r o p i n i o n s w i t h s u c h s t a t e m e n t s a s , " e v e r y o n e

e l s e a g r e e s w i t h m e w h e n I s a y t h a t . . . . " O r , a t t r i b u t e a   h i g h e r

s o u r c e o f a u t h o r i t y   t o t h e i r w o r d s : " A c c o r d i n g t o s u c h a n d s u c h ( a n

a u t h o r , o r r e s p e c t e d p e r s o n ) . . . " A s t a k e h o l d e r m a y w i s h t o

d i s c o u n t t h e o p i n i o n o f o t h e r s b y s p e a k i n g o f t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e : " I n

m y t w e n t y y e a r s o f e x p e r i e n c e . . . " O n c e a g a i n , t h e t o n e a n d

c o n t e x t o f t h e c o n v e r s a t i o n m a y m a k e s o m e o f t h e s e s t a t e m e n t s

a p p r o p r i a t e i n o n e c i r c u m s t a n c e a n d n o t i n a n o t h e r . P e o p l e m a y

r e s o r t t o d y s f u n c t i o n a l t a c t i c s w h e n t h e f o r c e o f t h e i r a r g u m e n t

d o e s n o t s t a n d o n i t s o w n m e r i t s .

A l o n g w i t h l a b e l i n g ,   t h r e a t s - - b o t h d i r e c t a n d v e i l e d - - c a n r e d u c e a

s t a k e h o l d e r ' s n e g o t i a t i n g p o w e r . W h e n t h e s e i n t i m i d a t i o n t a c t i c s

a r e b l u f f s , t h e n t h e l o s s o f n e g o t i a t i o n p o w e r i s f u r t h e r m a g n i f i e d .

T h e m e d i a t o r m a y a l s o c o a c h e m p l o y e e s i n t o o w n i n g u p t o t h e i r

f e e l i n g s b y u s i n g " I " s t a t e m e n t s . 8   " I   f e e l u p s e t w h e n y o u c h a n g e

m y r a d i o s t a t i o n w h i l e I a m m i l k i n g , " i s p r e f e r a b l e t o " Y o u m a k e

m e a n g r y w h e n . . . . "

O n l y o n e p e r s o n s h o u l d s p e a k a t a t i m e , w h i l e t h e o t h e r m a k e s

e v e r y p o s s i b l e e f f o r t t o u n d e r s t a n d w h a t i s b e i n g s a i d . O n e

d e f e n s i v e t a c t i c i s t o c h a n g e t h e t o p i c . W h i l e s o m e t i m e s t w o t o p i c s

a r e s o c l o s e l y r e l a t e d t h a t t h e y c a n n o t b e s e p a r a t e d , g e n e r a l l y

n e w t o p i c s c a n b e p l a c e d o n a " l i s t o f o t h e r m a t t e r s " t o b e b r o u g h t

u p l a t e r .

W o r k e r s i n v o l v e d i n h i g h l y c h a r g e d c o n f l i c t s i t u a t i o n s f r e q u e n t l y

t r y t o r i d i c u l e t h e i r c o n t e n d e r s b y d i s t o r t i n g o r e x a g g e r a t i n g w h a t

h a s b e e n s a i d . I c a l l t h i s   d i s t o r t e d m i r r o r i n g . F o r i n s t a n c e , a n

e m p l o y e e m a y i n a c c u r a t e l y m i r r o r a c o m m e n t , s u c h a s : " S o y o u

a r e t e l l i n g m e t h a t y o u   n e v e r   w a n t m e t o . . . , " o r , " I g e t i t , y o u t h i n k

y o u a r e t h e   o n l y   o n e w h o . . . , " " Y o u u s e d t o b e [ s o m e t h i n g p o s i t i v e ]

b u t n o w [ n e g a t i v e s t a t e m e n t ] , " " I t s e e m s t h a t y o u a r e a l w a y s   . . .

t h e s e d a y s . "

P a r t i c i p a n t s m a y s o m e t i m e s s e e k s h e l t e r f r o m a t r u e g i v e - a n d - t a k e

w i t h s u c h s t a t e m e n t s a s , " T h a t ' s j u s t t h e w a y I a m , " 9   o r , " C a n ' t y o u

t a k e a j o k e ? " W h i l e a m e d i a t o r c a n n o t f o r c e s o m e o n e o u t o f h i s

s h e l l , h e m a y h e l p p a r t i c i p a n t s u n d e r s t a n d t h e d e t r a c t i n g e f f e c t s

t h e s e s t a t e m e n t s m a y h a v e . T h e e a r l i e r t h e m e d i a t o r d i s a l l o w s

d i s t o r t i o n s o r m a n i p u l a t i v e t a c t i c s , t h e s o o n e r e m p l o y e e s w i l l

r e a l i z e t h a t t h i s i s n o t a v e r b a l b a t t l e .

A m e d i a t o r m a y a l s o n e e d t o c o a c h e m p l o y e e s o n h o w t o f o r m u l a t e

q u e s t i o n s a n d c o m m e n t s . P a r t i c i p a n t s n e e d t o t a l k w i t h o u t p u t t i n g

e a c h o t h e r o n t h e d e f e n s i v e o r c o m i n g a c r o s s a s a c c u s a t o r y .

E s p e c i a l l y w h e n u n d e r t h e s t r e s s o f a c o n f l i c t , p e o p l e w i l l b e q u i t e

s e n s i t i v e t o i n t e n d e d a n d n o n - i n t e n d e d s t a t e m e n t s o f d o u b l e

m e a n i n g . A c r i t i c a l r o l e f o r t h e m e d i a t o r m a y b e t o a s k f o r

c l a r i f i c a t i o n o r c o a c h s t a k e h o l d e r s i n p r o p e r l y r e f l e c t i n g

s t a t e m e n t s .

C o a c h i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s t h r o u g h t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n .

T h e t i m e h a s c o m e t o b r i n g b o t h s t a k e h o l d e r s t o g e t h e r i n t o a j o i n t

s e s s i o n . A m e c h a n i c a l a s p e c t t o m e d i a t i o n t h a t i s e x t r e m e l y

p o w e r f u l i s t h e   s e a t i n g a r r a n g e m e n t . H a v e t h e t w o p a r t i e s s i t

f a c i n g e a c h o t h e r s u c h t h a t t h e y a r e i n a p o s i t i o n t o h a v e g o o d e y e

c o n t a c t , y e t m a k i n g s u r e t h e r e i s e n o u g h s p a c e b e t w e e n t h e m s o

t h e i r p e r s o n a l s p a c e i s n o t v i o l a t e d . T h i s a r r a n g e m e n t u n d e r s c o r e s

t h e m e s s a g e t h a t t h e y a r e t h e r e   t o t a l k t o e a c h o t h e r . B e c a u s e

p e o p l e w h o a r e i n c o n f l i c t o f t e n d i s c o u n t t h e o t h e r p e r s o n , h a v i n g

t o e x c h a n g e e y e c o n t a c t c a n b e p o w e r f u l m e d i c i n e t o w a r d

r e c o n c i l i a t i o n . A t a b l e m a y b e a p p r o p r i a t e i n s o m e c i r c u m s t a n c e s .

T h e m e d i a t o r s i t s f a r e n o u g h a w a y t h a t s t a k e h o l d e r s w o u l d h a v e t o

t u r n t h e i r h e a d s i f t h e y w i s h e d t o m a k e e y e c o n t a c t w i t h h i m . I t i s

n o t e a s y f o r t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s t o c h e c k i f t h e y h a v e " s c o r e d a

p o i n t , " o r t o e n l i s t t h e m e d i a t o r t o t h e i r s i d e . I f t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s

m a k e s u c h a n a t t e m p t , t h e m e d i a t o r r e m i n d s t h e m t h a t t h e p e r s o n

t h e y n e e d t o c o n v i n c e i s t h e o t h e r p a r t y .

T h e s e a t i n g a r r a n g e m e n t d e s c r i b e d a b o v e i s s u c h a p o w e r f u l t o o l ,

t h a t I h a v e s e e n p e o p l e a p o l o g i z e t o e a c h o t h e r , b e m o r e

c o n s i d e r a t e , c a l l e a c h o t h e r b y n a m e , a n d u s e m a n y p o s i t i v e

b e h a v i o r s e v e n w h e n t h e c o m p l e t e m e d i a t i o n a p p r o a c h o u t l i n e d i n

t h i s c h a p t e r w a s n o t u s e d . T h e s e a t i n g a r r a n g e m e n t i s a s e c o n d

m e d i a t i o n p i l l a r . B o t h o f t h e s e p i l l a r s a r e i n t e g r a l t o t h e P a r t y -

D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t a p p r o a c h . ( Y o u m a y w i s h

t o d o w n l o a d t h e f u l l - l e n g t h b o o k ,   P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n , 2 n d

E d i t i o n , 2 0 0 9 , f r o m t h e l i n k a b o v e . I t i s a p u b l i c s e r v i c e o f t h e

U n i v e r s i t y o f C a l i f o r n i a ) .

F i g u r e 1 3 - 1 . S e a t i n g a r r a n g e m e n t f o r p a r t i c i p a n t s ( r e d ) a n d

m e d i a t o r ( b l u e ) . T a b l e ( y e l l o w ) i s o p t i o n a l .

T h e m e d i a t o r c a n a l s o e n c o u r a g e p a r t i c i p a n t s t o c a l l e a c h o t h e r b y

n a m e . T h i s c a n b e a d i f f i c u l t t h i n g a t f i r s t . P e o p l e w h o h a v e b e e n

c o n t e n d i n g t e n d t o d i s c o u n t t h e o t h e r p e r s o n a n d i n s t e a d t h e

p e r s o n " h e , " " s h e , " " t h e b o s s , " o r s o m e t h i n g o t h e r t h a n t h e

p e r s o n ' s n a m e . A d d r e s s i n g s o m e o n e b y n a m e a c k n o w l e d g e s a n d

v a l i d a t e s t h e o t h e r p e r s o n ' s h u m a n n e s s .

S u c c e s s f u l l y d e a l i n g w i t h a n y i s s u e u n d e r c o n t e n t i o n ( e . g . , t h e

o f f e r i n g a n d a c c e p t i n g o f a n a p o l o g y , o r h a v i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s a g r e e

o n h o w t h e y w i l l d e a l w i t h a f u t u r e c h a l l e n g e ) c a n b e v e r y

e n e r g i z i n g a n d g i v e t h e p a r t i c i p a n t s t h e c o n f i d e n c e t h e y n e e d t o

f a c e t h e n e x t d i f f i c u l t y t h a t c o m e s u p .

I t i s g o o d t o t a l k a b o u t t h e p a s t . A d i s c u s s i o n o f p a s t b e h a v i o r s

i s   e s s e n t i a l t o a n a l y z e p a t t e r n s o f c o n f l i c t a n d h e l p p a r t i c i p a n t s

f i n d c o n s t r u c t i v e w a y s o f h a n d l i n g f u t u r e d i s a g r e e m e n t s . W i t h o u t

u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e p a s t , i t i s h a r d t o p r e p a r e f o r t h e f u t u r e . A t

s o m e p o i n t , h o w e v e r , t h e f o c u s o f d i s c u s s i o n t u r n s t o t h a t

o f   f u t u r e b e h a v i o r s , r a t h e r t h a n p a s t i n j u r i e s .   T h e s o o n e r t h e

p a r t i c i p a n t s c a n f o c u s o n t h e f u t u r e , t h e g r e a t e r t h e c h a n c e s o f

s u c c e s s f u l r e s o l u t i o n . 1 0

O n e o f t h e r o l e s o f t h e m e d i a t o r i s t o e n c o u r a g e p a r t i c i p a n t s t o b e

m o r e s p e c i f i c i n t h e i r a g r e e m e n t s , t o h e l p q u e s t i o n p o t e n t i a l

l a n d m i n e s , a n d t o e n c o u r a g e s t a k e h o l d e r s t o r e c a p i t u l a t e w h a t

s e e m s t o h a v e b e e n a g r e e d u p o n . W h e n d e a l i n g w i t h m o r e d i f f i c u l t

c h a l l e n g e s , p a r t o f t h e r o l e o f t h e m e d i a t o r i s t o k e e p t h e p a r t i e s

f r o m b e c o m i n g d i s c o u r a g e d b y s h o w i n g t h e m h o w f a r t h e y h a v e

p r o g r e s s e d .

S t a k e h o l d e r s c a n b e t a u g h t t o u t i l i z e t h e c o n c e p t s i n t r o d u c e d

e a r l i e r , i n t e r m s o f p a r t i c i p a n t   p o s i t i o n s   v e r s u s   n e e d s . R e c a l l t h e

c a s e o f B e t h a n d C a r l o s a t t h e b e g i n n i n g o f t h e c h a p t e r , w h e r e

e a c h o f t h e i r s t a n c e s a p p e a r e d i n c o m p a t i b l e w i t h t h a t o f t h e o t h e r

( i . e . , w h e t h e r C a r l o s s h o u l d y i e l d t o t h e p r e s c r i b e d o v e r t i m e

r e q u e s t ) .

M e d i a t o r s h e l p d i s s i p a t e c o n t e n t i o u s f e e l i n g s b y t e a c h i n g

s t a k e h o l d e r s h o w t o f i n d c r e a t i v e w a y s t o a c h i e v e t h e   s u m 1 1   o f t h e

n e e d s ( t h e i r s a n d t h e o p p o s i n g o n e s ) . B y g o i n g p a s t a n o b v i o u s

s t a n c e a n d l o o k i n g i n t o n e e d s , w e m a y f i n d t h a t ( 1 ) B e t h w a n t e d

t h e t o m a t o h a r v e s t e r r e p a i r s c o m p l e t e d b e f o r e h a r v e s t - - w h i c h i s

s c h e d u l e d t o b e g i n e a r l y n e x t w e e k , w h i l e ( 2 ) C a r l o s w a n t e d t o b e

h o m e t o c e l e b r a t e h i s d a u g h t e r ' s   q u i n c e a ñ e r a   ( c o m i n g o f a g e

p a r t y ) F r i d a y e v e n i n g .

O n c e t h e m a n a g e r a n d m e c h a n i c u n d e r s t a n d e a c h o t h e r ' s n e e d s ,

t h e y c a n a g r e e o n a s o l u t i o n — p e r h a p s t h e m e c h a n i c c a n w o r k t h e

o v e r t i m e o n W e d n e s d a y a n d T h u r s d a y . T h i s c a s e m a y s e e m s i m p l e

a n d t h e s o l u t i o n o b v i o u s — e x c e p t , p e r h a p s , t o B e t h a n d C a r l o s

b e f o r e t h e y e x p l o r e d e a c h o t h e r ' s n e e d s . T h e a p p r o a c h w o r k s w e l l

f o r m o r e c o m p l e x i s s u e s , t o o .

S e p a r a t i n g p o s i t i o n f r o m n e e d s , i n s u c h a w a y t h a t p a r t i e s a t t e m p t

t o u n d e r s t a n d e a c h o t h e r s n e e d s i s a n o t h e r m e d i a t i o n p i l l a r .

M e d i a t o r s s h o u l d n o t b e i n t o o b i g o f a h u r r y t o m o v e p a r t i c i p a n t s

f r o m t h e i r p o s i t i o n s t a t e m e n t a n d e x p l a n a t i o n o f t h e i r f e a r s a n d

n e e d s , t o p r o b l e m r e s o l u t i o n . I t i s v i t a l t o f i r s t t r u l y u n d e r s t a n d t h e

n a t u r e o f t h e c h a l l e n g e s t h a t s e e m t o d i v i d e i n d i v i d u a l s . A l l o w i n g

s t a k e h o l d e r s t o h o l d a n i n i t i a l p o s i t i o n a l l o w s e a c h t o f e e l

u n d e r s t o o d a n d t o r e t a i n a s e n s e o f c o n t r o l a n d o w n e r s h i p o v e r

t h e p r o c e s s . A g r e a t t o o l i s t o h a v e s t a k e h o l d e r s e x p l a i n , t o t h e

b e s t o f t h e i r a b i l i t y , t h e p o s i t i o n o f t h e o t h e r .

S t a k e h o l d e r s t e n d t o d i s c o u n t e a c h o t h e r b y r e f u s i n g t o e v e n

a c k n o w l e d g e t h a t t h e o t h e r h a s a p o s i t i o n . F o r i n s t a n c e , a c o o k

w a s a s k e d t o r e c o g n i z e t h a t t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n n e e d e d m e a l s t o

a r r i v e o n t i m e t o t h e c r e w s . Y e t t h e c o o k c o u l d n o t f o c u s a w a y

f r o m t h e f a c t t h a t t h e r e w e r e m e a l s b e i n g w a s t e d e a c h d a y .

“ Y o u s e e , i t s h i s f a u l t b e c a u s e … ”

“ W e a r e n o t t a l k i n g a b o u t f a u l t s a t t h i s t i m e , w e j u s t w a n t y o u t o

s t a t e t h e p e r s p e c t i v e o f t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n , ” t h e m e d i a t o r

i n t e r r u p t e d .

“ W e l l , y o u s e e , h e t h i n k s t h a t h e c a n g e t a w a y w i t h … . ”

T h e c o o k h a d t o b e s t o p p e d o v e r a d o z e n t i m e s , b e c a u s e i t w a s s o

d i f f i c u l t f o r h i m t o e v e n s t a t e ( a n d t h u s v a l i d a t e ) t h e o t h e r ’ s

p o s i t i o n . O n c e h e s t o p p e d e v a d i n g t h e p r o c e s s a n d g a v e t h e

p o s i t i o n o f t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n , a n d t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n d i d t h e s a m e

f o r t h e c o o k , t h e y q u i c k l y c a m e t o a s o l u t i o n t h a t b e n e f i t e d

e v e r y o n e a n d s a v e d t h e g r o w e r m o n e y . A m i s s i n g s t e p h e r e , o n e

t h a t m a y h a v e h e l p e d s m o o t h t h e t r a n s i t i o n b e t w e e n a n i n t e r n a l

f o c u s a n d s t a t i n g t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r ' s p o s i t i o n , w o u l d h a v e

b e e n t o f i r s t e n c o u r a g e t h e s t a k e h o l d e r s t o a s k f a c t f i n d i n g a n d

n o n - j u d g m e n t a l q u e s t i o n s o f e a c h o t h e r . 1 2   A n a g r e e m e n t w a s m a d e

t h a t t h e f i e l d f o r e m a n w o u l d r a d i o t h e c o o k w i t h a n e x a c t m e a l

c o u n t f o r t h e d a y . B e c a u s e t h e c o o k h a d a n e x a c t c o u n t , h e h a d

f e w e r m e a l s t o c o o k a n d t h u s c o u l d p r o d u c e t h e m f a s t e r . A

s t r u c t u r e d w a y t o c l a r i f y p o s i t i o n s a n d n e e d s f o r a t w o - p e r s o n

n e g o t i a t i o n i s o u t l i n e d i n S i d e b a r 1 3 - 2 .

S i d e b a r 1 3 - 2 . P o s i t i o n v s . n e e d s 1 3   i n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t

Position A Position B

Need A-1 Need A-2

Need B-1 Need B-2 Need B-3

1. Participants divide a paper, chalkboard, or wipe board into four sections (as shown above).

2. Participants seek to understand and record each other’s position (i.e., stance).3. Participants are free to restate, modify, or further clarify their position at any time.

4. Participants now seek to understand and record each other’s needs. Taking the time to ask effective questions of each other (see Chapter 12) is an important part of reaching such understanding.

5. Participants brainstorm ways of fulfilling all the needs (in some cases solutions may not be obvious at once and stakeholders may want to sleep on it). For brainstorming to be effective, possible solutions should not be evaluated at the time, and even outlandish and extreme possible solutions should be entertained. Only later, are these solutions examined for the positive and negative factors that they contribute.

6. Participants should resist solutions where they no longer have to interact with each other. To avoid each other takes little creativity and is seldom the best solution. Instead, participants need to seek creative, synergetic solutions.

7. Tentative co-authored agreements are evaluated and refined in light of potentially difficult obstacles that such solutions may yet need to endure.

8. Agreements—including a possible co-authored new position—are recorded.9. Participants consent to evaluate results at pre-determined time periods.10. Fine tune agreements as needed and work on other challenges together.

S t a k e h o l d e r s s h o u l d n o t c o m e t o t h e t a b l e r e a d y t o e x p o s e o r i m p o s e t h e i r s o l u t i o n . I n

n e g o t i a t i o n i t i s c r i t i c a l f o r s t a k e h o l d e r s t o f i r s t f o c u s o n d e f i n i n g a n d u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e n a t u r e

o f t h e c h a l l e n g e . I t i s o f t e n w h e n s t a k e h o l d e r s a r e n o t a b l e t o m o v e p a s t t h e i r p o s i t i o n s o r

s t a n c e s t h a t n e g o t i a t i o n s b r e a k d o w n . A l s o , s t a k e h o l d e r s w a n t t o f e e l t h a t t h e y h a v e s o m e

c o n t r o l o v e r t h e d e c i s i o n - m a k i n g p r o c e s s . T h i s i s h a r d t o d o w h e n d e c i s i o n s a r e m a d e b y

o t h e r s b e f o r e t h e p r o b l e m s a r e f u l l y e x p l o r e d ( C h a p t e r 1 7 ) .

E a c h s t a k e h o l d e r n e e d s t o b e v i g i l a n t t h a t a s o l u t i o n w i l l m e e t t h e o t h e r p e r s o n ' s n e e d s , a s

w e l l a s t h e i r o w n . S t a k e h o l d e r s n e e d t o r e m e m b e r , t h a t f o r t h e m o s t p a r t , t h e o n l y g o o d

s o l u t i o n s a r e t h o s e t h a t w i l l w o r k f o r a l l t h e i n d i v i d u a l s i n v o l v e d .

F u r t h e r m o r e , s o m e t i m e s p e o p l e w i l l y i e l d t o a n o t h e r a s a t e s t . T h e s e i n d i v i d u a l s w a n t t o s e e i f

t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r h a s t h e m i n i m u m a m o u n t o f c a r e f o r a n y o n e o t h e r t h a n h i m s e l f . A s a

t a c t i c , s e t t i n g a t r a p t o s e e i f s o m e o n e w i l l g e t c a u g h t , i s h a r d l y a g o o d i d e a , o f c o u r s e . T h e

m o r e e m o t i o n i n v o l v e d , t h e l e s s l i k e l y t h a t t h e o t h e r s t a k e h o l d e r w i l l s t e p b a c k . A n o t h e r

m a n i p u l a t i v e a p p r o a c h i s f o r a s t a k e h o l d e r t o " g i v e i n " j u s t t o b e a b l e t o h o l d i t a g a i n s t t h e

o t h e r l a t e r o n .

N e g o t i a t i o n w i l l n o t b e s a t i s f a c t o r y w h e n a p e r s o n i s m o r e i n t e n t i n :

p u n i s h i n g a n o t h e r r a t h e r t h a n c o m i n g t o a n a g r e e m e n t o r m o d i f y i n g f u t u r e b e h a v i o r

w i n n i n g r a t h e r t h a n s o l v i n g t h e c h a l l e n g e

S o m e t i m e s n e g o t i a t i o n i s a t t e m p t e d b u t p e o p l e ’ s b a s i c n e e d s a r e i n c o m p a t i b l e . T h i s m a y b e

e s p e c i a l l y s o w h e n n o d i s t i n c t i o n c a n b e m a d e b e t w e e n a p e r s o n ’ s n e e d a n d h e r p o s i t i o n .

W h e n n e g o t i a t i o n h a s f a i l e d — f o r w h a t e v e r r e a s o n s — a c l e a r n e e d f o r r e s o l v i n g t h e d i s p u t e

t h r o u g h a r b i t r a t i o n m a y d e v e l o p . B u s h a n d F o l g e r s u g g e s t , h o w e v e r , t h a t i f a d o o r i s l e f t o p e n

f o r c o n t i n u e d c o n v e r s a t i o n , a n d i f i n d i v i d u a l e m p o w e r m e n t a n d m u t u a l r e c o g n i t i o n h a v e t a k e n

p l a c e , t h e n m e d i a t i o n w a s n o t a f a i l u r e . M u c h m o r e o f a f a i l u r e , t h e y a r g u e , i s f o r a m e d i a t o r t o

b e s o f o c u s e d o n h a v i n g s t a k e h o l d e r s c o m e t o a n a g r e e m e n t t h a t t h e a g r e e m e n t i s f o r c e d ,

r e d u c i n g t h e c h a n c e s t h a t i t w i l l b e l o n g l a s t i n g . 1 4

E q u a l i z i n g p o w e r

P a r t i c i p a n t s m a y b r i n g d i f f e r e n t a m o u n t s o f p o w e r i n t o a s i t u a t i o n . A s l o n g a s b o t h a r e

i n t e r e s t e d i n n e g o t i a t i n g a s o l u t i o n , p o w e r i s e s s e n t i a l l y e q u a l i z e d . T h e e f f e c t i v e m e d i a t o r

h e l p s p a r t i e s l i s t e n a n d c o m m u n i c a t e w i t h e a c h o t h e r . Y o u m a y a l s o n e e d t o d r a w o u t a n

e m p l o y e e w h o i s h a v i n g d i f f i c u l t y e x p r e s s i n g h i m s e l f .

A s t a n c e f r o m e i t h e r p a r t y i n d i c a t i n g a l a c k o f i n t e r e s t ( 1 ) i n t a l k i n g a b o u t t h e p r o b l e m , o r ( 2 )

i n t h e o t h e r p e r s o n ’ s n e e d s , w o u l d i n d i c a t e u n w i l l i n g n e s s t o b e i n v o l v e d i n t h e n e g o t i a t i o n

p r o c e s s . M e d i a t o r s c a n s u g g e s t t h a t t h e j o i n t s e s s i o n t a k e p l a c e i n a l o c a t i o n t h a t i s n e u t r a l

a n d p r i v a t e - - w i t h o u t t e l e p h o n e o r a n y o t h e r s o r t o f i n t e r r u p t i o n s .

H e l p i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s p l a n f o r f u t u r e i n t e r a c t i o n

I t i s e a s i e r f o r e m p l o y e e s t o i m p r o v e c o m m u n i c a t i o n w h e n a i d e d b y a c o m p e t e n t m e d i a t o r . P a r t

o f t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f t h e m e d i a t o r i s t o h e l p e m p l o y e e s a n t i c i p a t e s o m e o f t h e c h a l l e n g e s

t h e y w i l l f a c e i n t h e f u t u r e . O n e d i f f i c u l t y i s t o t a k e t h e t i m e t o l i s t e n a n d c o m m u n i c a t e .

P r i n c i p a l a m o n g t h e n e e d e d s k i l l s , i s f o r s e n s i t i v e l i s t e n i n g . I t i s d i f f i c u l t t o a l w a y s b e o n t h e

a l e r t f o r s u c h s e n s i t i v e l i s t e n i n g a n d i n t e r a c t i o n a s h a s b e e n d i s c u s s e d t h r o u g h o u t t h i s a n d t h e

l a s t c h a p t e r .

I t s o m e t i m e s t a k e s y e a r s f o r e m p l o y e e s t o g e t i n t o a p a t t e r n o f n e g a t i v e i n t e r a c t i o n . I t i s

u n l i k e l y t h a t o n e s e s s i o n w i l l c u r e t h i s n o m a t t e r h o w o u t s t a n d i n g t h e m e d i a t o r o r t h e

p a r t i c i p a n t s i n v o l v e d . O n e o r m o r e f o l l o w - u p s e s s i o n s w i t h t h e m e d i a t o r m a y h e l p p a r t i c i p a n t s

r e f i n e s k i l l s a n d e v a l u a t e p r o g r e s s m a d e .

A r b i t r a t i o n

T h e s u p e r v i s o r a s a n   a r b i t e r   m a y d o e v e r y t h i n g a m e d i a t o r d o e s b u t , a t t h e e n d , w i l l m a k e a

j u d g m e n t t h a t t h e e m p l o y e e s a r e e x p e c t e d t o f o l l o w . I t m a y b e c l e a r f r o m t h e o u t s e t t h a t

e m p l o y e e s e x p e c t t h e s u p e r v i s o r t o t a k e t h e r o l e o f a n a r b i t e r . O r , i t m a y b e c o m e i n c r e a s i n g l y

e v i d e n t a s m e d i a t i o n i s t a k i n g p l a c e , t h a t a n a r b i t e r w i l l b e n e e d e d . T h e s u p e r v i s o r n e e d s t o

c l e a r l y c o m m u n i c a t e h i s r o l e . I f t h e r o l e c h a n g e s , w o r k e r s n e e d u n d e r s t a n d t h a t , t o o .

B e c a u s e i t i s n o r m a l l y p r e f e r a b l e f o r a l l p a r t i e s i n v o l v e d t o h a v e a c o n f l i c t s o l v e d a t t h e

m e d i a t i o n r a t h e r t h a n a r b i t r a t i o n s t a g e , i t h e l p s f o r a s u p e r v i s o r t o b e   s l o w i n t a k i n g o n t h e r o l e

o f a n a r b i t e r , e s p e c i a l l y w h e n t h e s e t w o i n d i v i d u a l s w i l l h a v e t o c o n t i n u e t o w o r k t o g e t h e r .

D u r i n g t h e p r o c e s s o f l i s t e n i n g t o t h e v a r i o u s p e r s p e c t i v e s , a n d b e f o r e m a k i n g a d e c i s i o n , a n

a r b i t e r m a y w i s h t o o f f e r e m p l o y e e s t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o w o r k o u t t h e i r o w n p r o b l e m , o r t o w o r k

o u t d i f f i c u l t i e s t h r o u g h m e d i a t i o n .

A t t i m e s , a   j u d g e   a n d a   j u d g m e n t   a r e n e e d e d . S u p e r v i s o r s w h o h a v e t o a r b i t r a t e s h o u l d a v o i d

t r y i n g t o m a k e b o t h p a r t i e s h a p p y w i t h t h e d e c i s i o n . M o s t o f t h e t i m e i t i s s i m p l y n o t p o s s i b l e .

I t m a y b e a n a d m i r a b l e g o a l f o r m e d i a t i o n , b u t n o t f o r a r b i t r a t i o n . I n s t e a d , t h e a r b i t r a t o r i s

r e q u i r e d t o b e   i m p a r t i a l   ( t h e r e i s n o r o o m f o r f a v o r i t i s m ) a n d   f a i r   ( e v e n i f t h i s s e e m s o n e

s i d e d ) .

T h e w e l l - l o v e d s t o r y o f w i s e S o l o m o n o f o l d i s a n e a r l y e x a m p l e o f a r b i t r a t i o n : T w o h a r l o t s h a d

g i v e n b i r t h . S o m e t i m e a f t e r t h a t , o n e o f t h e w o m e n , w h i l e s h e w a s s l e e p i n g , r o l l e d o v e r h e r

c h i l d a n d s u f f o c a t e d h i m . W h e n s h e w o k e u p t h a t n i g h t a n d f o u n d t h e d e a d i n f a n t , s h e t r a d e d

h i m f o r t h a t o f t h e o t h e r . W h e n t h e s e c o n d w o m a n w o k e u p , s h e f o u n d t h e d e a d c h i l d b y h e r .

B u t w h e n m o r n i n g c a m e , s h e c o u l d c l e a r l y b e h o l d t h a t t h i s w a s n o t h e r c h i l d . E a c h w o m a n

c l a i m e d t o b e t h e t r u e m o t h e r o f t h e b a b y t h a t w a s s t i l l a l i v e , a n d t o o k t h e i r c o n f l i c t b e f o r e

K i n g S o l o m o n . T h e k i n g s i m p l y a s k e d f o r a s w o r d , a n d t h e n o r d e r e d : " D i v i d e t h e l i v i n g c h i l d i n

t w o , a n d g i v e h a l f t o t h e o n e , a n d h a l f t o t h e o t h e r . " W h i l e t h e f a l s e m o t h e r t h o u g h t t h i s w a s a

f i n e i d e a , t h e t r u e m o t h e r a s k e d t h e k i n g t o s a v e t h e c h i l d - - e v e n i f t h i s m e a n t g i v i n g t h e i n f a n t

t o t h e o t h e r w o m a n . S o l o m o n t h u s d e t e r m i n e d w h o t h e r e a l m o t h e r w a s , a n d r e t u r n e d t h e c h i l d

t o h e r . 1 5 U n f o r t u n a t e l y , S o l o m o n ’ s p r e t e n d e d i n i t i a l s o l u t i o n t o t h e c o n t e n d i n g m o t h e r s ( t o

d i v i d e t h e b a b y i n h a l f ) w o u l d o f t e n b e c a r r i e d o u t b y s u p e r v i s o r s i n t h e i r m o d e r n d a y a r b i t r a t o r

r o l e . I n t h e i r e f f o r t t o t r y a n d p l e a s e b o t h w o r k e r s , t h e y c r e a t e a c o m p r o m i s e t h a t i s o f t e n

u n f a i r , a n d f r e q u e n t l y u n w o r k a b l e .

I t t a k e s l i t t l e s k i l l , a n d e v e n l e s s s t r e n g t h o f c h a r a c t e r , t o a r b i t r a t e i n t h i s m a n n e r . I n s t e a d , a

s u p e r v i s o r w h o a r b i t r a t e s w i t h f a i r n e s s i s m o r e a p t t o b e r e s p e c t e d b y e m p l o y e e s i n t h e l o n g

r u n . A f t e r d i f f i c u l t i e s a r e w o r k e d o u t , e m p l o y e e s o f t e n f i n d t h a t t h e i r r e l a t i o n s h i p s h a v e b e e n

s t r e n g t h e n e d .

Summary

W h e r e v e r t h e r e a r e c h o i c e s t o b e m a d e , d i f f e r e n c e s m a y p r o v i d e c h a l l e n g e s o r o p p o r t u n i t i e s .

O n e d i f f i c u l t y i s t h e p o s s i b i l i t y t h a t d i f f e r e n c e s w i l l r e s u l t i n i n c r e a s e d c o n t e n t i o n . S u p e r v i s o r s

m a y h a v e t o a c t a s m e d i a t o r s a n d a r b i t r a t o r s f r o m t i m e t o t i m e . T h e a d v a n t a g e o f m e d i a t i o n i s

m a i n t a i n i n g r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r p r o b l e m s o l v i n g a n d c o n f l i c t r e s o l u t i o n a t t h e l e v e l o f t h o s e w h o

o w n t h e c h a l l e n g e . S e l e c t i n g a n o u t s i d e m e d i a t o r o f t e n m a k e s s e n s e .

S e v e r a l r o l e s t a k e n o n b y t h e m e d i a t o r i n c l u d e u n d e r s t a n d i n g e a c h p a r t i c i p a n t ’ s p e r s p e c t i v e ;

s e t t i n g g r o u n d r u l e s f o r i m p r o v e d c o m m u n i c a t i o n ; c o a c h i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s o n e f f e c t i v e i n t e r a c t i o n

s t y l e s ; e q u a l i z i n g p o w e r ; a n d h e l p i n g p a r t i c i p a n t s p l a n f o r f u t u r e i n t e r a c t i o n .

W h e n t h e s u p e r v i s o r a c t s i n t h e r o l e o f a n a r b i t r a t o r , i t i s m o r e i m p o r t a n t t o m a k e a f a i r

j u d g m e n t t h a n t o t r y t o p l e a s e a l l w o r k e r s i n v o l v e d .

Chapter 13 References

1 .   C o v e y , S . ( 1 9 8 9 ) .   S e v e n H a b i t s o f H i g h l y E f f e c t i v e P e o p l e . N e w Y o r k : S i m o n & S c h u s t e r .  

2 .   F i s h e r , R . , U r y , W . , & P a t t o n , B . ( 1 9 9 1 ) .   G e t t i n g t o Y e s : N e g o t i a t i n g A g r e e m e n t W i t h o u t

G i v i n g I n   ( 2 n d e d . ) . P e n g u i n B o o k s , a n d D e e t z , S . A . , & S t e v e n s o n , S . L . ( 1 9 8 6 ) .   M a n a g i n g

I n t e r p e r s o n a l C o m m u n i c a t i o n . N e w Y o r k : H a r p e r & R o w P u b l i s h e r s .  

3 .   R a c k h a m , N . ( 1 9 9 9 ) . T h e B e h a v i o r o f S u c c e s s f u l N e g o t i a t o r s ( 3 r d e d . ) ( p .

3 4 8 ) . N e g o t i a t i o n : R e a d i n g s , E x e r c i s e s , a n d C a s e s . E d i t e d b y L e w i c k i , S a u n d e r s & M i n t o n .

B o s t o n : I r w i n / M c G r a w - H i l l .  

4 .   B i l l i k o p f , G . E . C o n t r i b u t i o n s o f C a u c u s i n g a n d P r e - C a u c u s i n g t o M e d i a t i o n ( i n

p r e s s ) .   G r o u p F a c i l i t a t i o n : A R e s e a r c h a n d A p p l i c a t i o n s J o u r n a l .  

5 .   W i n s l a d e , J . , & M o n k , G . ( 2 0 0 0 ) .   N a r r a t i v e M e d i a t i o n : A N e w A p p r o a c h t o C o n f l i c t

R e s o l u t i o n .   S a n F r a n c i s c o : J o s s e y - B a s s P u b l i s h e r s .  

6 .   B u s h , R . A . , B a r u c h & F o l g e r , J . P . ( 1 9 9 4 ) .   T h e P r o m i s e o f M e d i a t i o n . S a n F r a n c i s c o :

J o s s e y - B a s s P u b l i s h e r s .  

7 .   T i n g - T o o m e y , S . ( 1 9 9 9 ) .   C o m m u n i c a t i n g A c r o s s C u l t u r e s . N e w Y o r k : T h e G u i l f o r d P r e s s .  

8 .   D e e t z , S . A . , & S t e v e n s o n , S . L . ( 1 9 8 6 ) .   M a n a g i n g I n t e r p e r s o n a l C o m m u n i c a t i o n . N e w

Y o r k : H a r p e r & R o w P u b l i s h e r s .  

9 .   W a l t o n , R . E . ( 1 9 8 7 ) .   M a n a g i n g C o n f l i c t : I n t e r p e r s o n a l D i a l o g u e a n d T h i r d - P a r t y R o l e s ( 2 n d

e d . ) ( p . 1 0 8 ) . A d d i s o n - W e s l e y P u b l i s h i n g C o m p a n y .  

1 0 .   R o b e r t , M . ( 1 9 8 2 ) .   M a n a g i n g C o n f l i c t F r o m t h e I n s i d e O u t   ( p p . 1 1 9 - 1 2 8 ) . U n i v e r s i t y

A s s o c i a t e s . E x c e l l e n t s u g g e s t i o n s a r e a l s o p r o v i d e d o n h o w t o m a n a g e c o n f l i c t a m o n g g r o u p s .  

1 1 .   F i s h e r , R . , U r y , W . , & P a t t o n , B . ( 1 9 9 1 ) .   G e t t i n g t o Y e s : N e g o t i a t i n g A g r e e m e n t W i t h o u t

G i v i n g I n   ( 2 n d e d . ) . P e n g u i n B o o k s , a n d D e e t z , S . A . , & S t e v e n s o n , S . L . ( 1 9 8 6 )   M a n a g i n g

I n t e r p e r s o n a l C o m m u n i c a t i o n . N e w Y o r k : H a r p e r & R o w P u b l i s h e r s .  

1 2 .   B o d i n e , N . ( 2 0 0 1 , J u l y ) . F o u n d e r a n d m e m b e r o f B o a r d o f D i r e c t o r s o f   T h e W o r k p l a c e

I n s t i t u t e   ( n o w   C e n t e r f o r C o l l a b o r a t i v e S o l u t i o n s ) p e r s o n a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n .  

1 3 .   N o d i s t i n c t i o n i s i n t e n d e d b e t w e e n t h e c o n c e p t o f   n e e d   a n d t h a t o f   i n t e r e s t . I n c h a p t e r

1 7 , w h e r e w e f u r t h e r d i s c u s s s o m e o f t h e s e i s s u e s , t h e t e r m s a r e u s e d i n t e r c h a n g e a b l y .  

1 4 .   B u s h , R . A . , B a r u c h & F o l g e r , J . P . ( 1 9 9 4 ) .   T h e P r o m i s e o f M e d i a t i o n . S a n F r a n c i s c o :

J o s s e y - B a s s P u b l i s h e r s .  

1 5 .   1 K i n g s 3 : 1 6 - 2 8 .

E x t e r n a l l i n k s o n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t :

I A C M

A c a d e m y o f M a n a g e m e n t

C a m p u s A D R - C o n f l i c t M a n a g e m e n t

S S R N A b s t r a c t P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n

W i k i p e d i a P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n

M e d i a t e . c o m P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n

A n s w e r s . c o m P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n

U C R e p o s i t o r y

A m e r i c a n V e g e t a b l e G r o w e r - C o n f l i c t M a n a g e m e n t

N a t i o n M a s t e r - P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n

V i s W i k i P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n

D a i r y T o d a y - C o n f l i c t M a n a g e m e n t

A s o c i a c i ó n d e M e d i a c i ó n p a r a l a P a c i f i c a c i ó n d e C o n f l i c t o s

M e d i a c i ó n F a m i l i a r - C h i l e

I d e a l a w g P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n

F i l e d B y

S a n d a K a u f m a n

R e v i s t a F u t u r o s - M e d i a c i ó n I n t e r p e r s o n a l

L i b r a r y o f C o n g r e s s C o n t r o l N u m b e r 2 0 0 1 0 9 2 3 7 8

© 2 0 0 1 , 2 0 0 9 , b y T h e R e g e n t s o f t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f C a l i f o r n i a

A l l r i g h t s r e s e r v e d .  

P r i n t i n g t h i s e l e c t r o n i c W e b p a g e o n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t i s p e r m i t t e d f o r p e r s o n a l ,

e d u c a t i o n a l o r n o n - c o m m e r c i a l u s e ( s u c h t h a t p e o p l e a r e n o t c h a r g e d f o r t h e m a t e r i a l s ) a s l o n g

a s t h e a u t h o r a n d t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f C a l i f o r n i a a r e c r e d i t e d , a n d t h e p a g e i s p r i n t e d i n i t s

e n t i r e t y . W e d o n o t c h a r g e f o r r e p r i n t s , b u t a p p r e c i a t e k n o w i n g h o w y o u a r e m a k i n g u s e o f t h i s

p a p e r . P l e a s e s e n d u s a m e s s a g e t h r o u g h t h e E - m a i l l i n k a t t h e t o p o f t h i s p a g e . Y o u m a y

p r e f e r t o d o w n l o a d t h e P D F v e r s i o n o f t h i s c h a p t e r , f r o m t h e y e l l o w l i n k s e c t i o n a b o v e , o r

d o w n l o a d t h e c o m p l e t e b o o k o n c o n f l i c t m a n a g e m e n t f o r f r e e ,   P a r t y - D i r e c t e d M e d i a t i o n , 2 n d

E d i t i o n , 2 0 0 9 . T h a t p a g e a l s o i n c l u d e s i n s t r u c t i o n s f o r p r o v i d i n g e l e c t r o n i c c o p i e s f o r y o u r

s t u d e n t s o r c l i e n t s a t n o c o s t . T h i s i s a p u b l i c s e r v i c e o f t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f C a l i f o r n i a .

 

L a b o r M a n a g e m e n t i n A g  

T a b l e o f C o n t e n t s

2 0 A u g u s t 2 0 0 9

 

 

         About Conflict ManagementBy Priti Ramjee, eHow Contributor

An employee not informed of a decision may be a situation for conflict management.

When a person is opposed by another because his needs and goals are different, he faces conflict. Feelings of anger, frustration, hurt, anxiety or fear almost always accompany conflict. Conflict management identifies and handles the conflict using effective communicating, problem-solving and understanding each person's interest to negotiate fairly.

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About Conflict Resolution

Conflict & Negotiation Processes in Organizations

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1. Purpose of Conflict Managemento Conflict management is a systematic process to find a satisfying outcome

between conflicted parties. With conflict management, a team, group and organization function more effectively and achieve goals. Without it, group performance is affected. Conflict management is less about identifying a problem than it is about establishing an ongoing process with leaders dedicated to creating open communication channels, developing productive work relationships, encouraging participation, improving organizational processes and procedures and helping individuals develop "win-win" outcomes.

Situations Requiring Conflict Management

o The workplace can create a situation between co-workers, or between an employer and an employee as a result of poor communication. For example, an employee may not be informed of a decision or does not understand the reasons for a decision. She may be conflicted because of a rumor. Perhaps, she has misunderstood the role that management has assigned to her. If management shows the employee a lack of support, the situation can grow requiring the need for conflict management.

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Process of Conflict Managemento The process of conflict management involves understanding the nature of the

conflict, who is involved and initiating resolution. In the case of conflict between an employer and employee, the employer initiates conflict management by arranging a time to meet with the employee and a human resources consultant or facilitator. All parties should understand that the purpose of managing the conflict is to find a solution. Action points, if required, should be completed within a certain time. Once the situation has been resolved, the cause should be discussed with measures to stop the situation from reoccurring.

Evolution of Conflict Managemento Prior to the 1940s, conflict was considered counterproductive to organizational

goals. The conflict management style was conflict avoidance leaving the conflicted party to feel slighted. Since the mid-1970s, experts believe that a conflict-free, cooperative organization tends to become stagnant and unresponsive to market change. As a result, a new position on conflict management emerged as an interactive approach encouraging conflict to enhance performance in the workplace through conflict management. (See Reference 4)

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References Free Management Library: Basics of Conflict Management The CEDA Meta-Profession Project: Conflict Management T.A.H. Performance Consultants, LLC Reference for Business: Conflict Management and Negotiation BizCommunity: Conflict Management in the Workplace

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