the wisdompath way reparative parenting approach...the lifespaceneurobiological systems *wpw rp...
TRANSCRIPT
The LifeSpaceNeurobiological
Systems
*WPW RP
3-Story Brain
Developmental
Pathways of
Social Maturity
Reparative
Parenting
Strategies
The WisdomPath Way Reparative Parenting ApproachA Therapeutic Parent-Child Coaching Model
Children are biologically hardwired to learn from parents in the hundreds of thousands of naturally occurring LifeSpace moments in which a child is learning the “Social Contract” “How to be human” “This is what we do and how we do it”
Resource parents, adoptive parents and kinship caregivers are our best resource and our best chance to help children affected by trauma to: Heal Mature Develop character & competence
Why REPARATIVE Parenting ?
WHAT TRAUMA LOOKS LIKE IN CHILDREN
Aggressive-hitting, kicking, biting, use of objects to hurt a parent or another child; Property destruction; holes in walls, breaking objects, breaking windows; throwing and
destroying valuable items; Sexualized behaviors toward other children in the home or at school; Argumentative, oppositional, defiant; Withdrawn, avoidant, shut down, dissociative; Hyper-arousal or under-arousal; Hyper-reactive to touch, sound, stimulation; Excessive need to be in control; High-reactive refusal to follow simple directives and to limits & boundaries; Disordered eating; anorexia, bulimia, overeating; Running away; Drug/alcohol usage/overdose; Stealing; Lying, anti-social conduct; Enuresis; encopresis, feces smearing, pica; School delinquency, school refusal, suspensions & expulsions; Depression; self-harm; cutting, suicidal threats/attempts; Anxiety; panic attacks; Homicidal ideation/threats; bullying; social isolation
Oppositional Defiant Disorder Attention Deficit DisorderMajor Depression/Persistent Depressive Disorder Anxiety DisordersMood Dysregulation Disorder Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Reactive Attachment Disorder Conduct Disorder Substance Dependence or Abuse Anorexia/Bulimia
Standard DSM V Diagnoses
Neurophysiology•*Prenatal exposure (FASD)•*Brain size/architecture
•*Head trauma/Birth Trauma•*Sensory Integrative Function•*Diurnal Cortisol Levels•*Sympathetic/parasympathetic dominance
•*Sleep/Appetite•*Autism Spectrum or Tourette disorder •*Medical or congenital conditions
Psychosocial Info
*Child’s LifeSpace narrative*LifeSpace context historically and currently, i.e., family dynamics; type of and exposure to trauma*Quality of Attachment Bond
*Attachment Disruptions*Child strengths*Family strengths
Assessments
*Trauma/ACES Score*CANS*Strengths & Difficulties Questionnaire*Connors (Parent & Teacher)*Psychological evaluations*IEPs
*Speech and Language
WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING
Th
e L
ifeS
pace
LifeSpace
Shared, co-constructed, multicultural, richly diverse social milieu;
The role of the parent is to teach the culture-specific Social Contract:
“This is what we do and how we do it”
“We work, we love, we play, we have a code of conduct”
“We work first and then we play”
“We don’t always get what we want”
Quality of the Attachment Bond; Parenting Style; Effects of trauma on compliance to
rules and directions; acceptance of limits/boundaries, and identification with the social contract/moral code; “This is what we do and how we do it”)
Seven ‘tasks’ of the new brain that
must be accomplished well for the
child develops character & competence
The LifeSpace Authority Inception Period
Two Parent Expectations When I give you a direction it needs to be followed
without undue protest. When I set a limit or boundary it needs to be
accepted without undue protest.
Three Universal RulesWe don’t use aggression to solve problemsWe do not take what isn’t oursWe tell the truth
Two Truths We work first and then we play We don’t always get what we want
Genetic vulnerabilities and/or prenatal stress/prenatal alcohol drug exposure
Attachment Disruptions; anxious, avoidant, disorganized, dismissive
Sensory Processing/Integration *Sensitivity/Dysfunction/Disorder
Sensory Processing/Integration *Sensitivity/Dysfunction/Disorder
Poor emotion management and poor self-regulation
Impaired competency and low self-confidence
Impaired connection to social contract; socially immature
Brain remains preoccupied with its‘barely there’ roots and basic survival
Hard to Understand
Neurobiological Systems
*WPW RP 3-Story Brain
SNS/Amygdala
Should Be “In Charge”
BUT…
Cannot Manage Emotions
Cannot Control Stress Reactions
Cannot Control I Want/Don’t Want
Always on guard for threats;
Over-reactive stress response
Trauma-informed view of self,
others, & the world
STUCK
TEMPERAMENT
Parents Teach:Social Contract/How to be a good human
“This is what we do and how we do it”We love, we work, we play…
We have rules, values, morals, manners
Parents Use:Authority/Confidence/Modeling
Direct and Indirect Teaching & CoachingApproval & Disapproval
Warmth & High Demandingness
The LifeSpace Reparative Authority Inception Period
HealingMaturationConnectionFit & Belong
Parents Use:Consistent, contingent
age-appropriate, pre-coached
correction/consequences
CharacterCompetenceSocial Skills
Values
Remember that this is what you do…
Teaching Children “We Work First and Then We Play”
Children/teens do
better if they can
“see” their work and
then “see” when their
“play” is coming
Let them know the work
they have and when
they can play
Be sure to have several
work and play times
“Nothing else happens
until work is done…”
Full stop Privilege Pause
until work is done
Re-Do and Amends
Teaching Children “We Don’t Always Get What We Want”
Ignore
Pestering/Badgering
Remind only once
that pestering,
badgering, whining is
“Not what we do”
Say only once:
“I am not going to
argue, no means no”
Full stop Privilege Pause
Run a timer until it stops
Add up “wait time”
Re-Do and Amends
Helping Children/Teens Feel Grounded and Safe
1. You give a reasonable directionor set a
reasonable limit/boundary
2.Your child/teen protests..
Resist/Refuses Direction Or
Pesters/Badgers About Limit/Boundary
3.“Nothing else happens until you do”
Full Privilege Pauseuntil direction is followed
and/or pestering/badgering stops
5.Start your timer…“Amount of time it takes you to follow direction or stop
pestering/bullying will be added on to your privilege pause after you follow direction
and/or stop pestering/bullying”
7.Re-Do and Amends
WAIT FOR RETURN OF PRIVILEGES
It’s Over
4.Continues to protest
Resist/RefuseOr
Pester/Badger
6.Completes directive or stops
pestering/badgering
“This is what we do and how we do it…”
Parents/Reparative Parents are the Key to
Co-Constructing/Re-Constructing Children’s Brains
What Therapeutic Reparative Parents Do
Interactions that teach the social contract of “this is what we do and how we do it;”
Provide love, warmth, safety, and protection;
Provide soothing, comfort, teaching how to calm down and ask for help & support;
Name emotions; validating, soothing, coaching management of big feelings;
Establish and hold limits and boundaries; “We don’t get everything we want;”
Establish rules; expect compliance to directions; “We work first and then we play.”
How it Builds the Child/Teen’s Brain
Child/teen believes, “I fit and I belong”
Child/teen believes, “I matter”
Develops mature self-regulation skills for stress
management; long-term solutions vs short-term
fight/flight
Develops strong emotion management skills
Learns to be part of the social world; develops
self-discipline & control over “I wants”
Develops self-discipline, character and competency
Thank you…
Dr. Kate Messina