Robots With TasersThe White Legacy:Generation Seven, Chapter Three

Welcome back to the White Legacy! Last time we were here, the family adopted a cat named Cynthia, Lewis cheesed himself, and… what was it… oh, yes. Arc figured out that Merry had killed his family, he killed her, tried to kill Seraphine, and then disappeared to parts unknown. Seraphine got away, which means that Baltic is abandoned and locked in his tower with a stockpile of rotting leftovers for food.

But isn’t Cynthia so cute?

Lewis: “So you’re saying Merry is dead?”

Arie: “As a doornail.”

Rose: “Oh… I’m not sure she deserved that…”

Arie: “Didn’t deserve it? You never met her, Rose, but trust me, if there was one thing she deserved… sheesh, now you’re making me feel bad. Stop that.”

Rose: “I’m sorry…”

Rhea: “Grandpa? Grandpa Sun? I think the battle’s over… I mean, we’ve had time to put the furniture back in place and everything… do you want to come inside now?”

Sun: “I’m, like, not leaving this spot ‘till the sun makes me, dudette.”

Rhea: “Well, do you want me to bring you some hot chocolate or anything?”

Sun: “Sounds good, but I totally can’t digest it, dudette.”

Rhea: “Oh, that’s right.”

You know, you could’ve eaten that bowl of cereal waiting for you right there.”

Lewis: “And miss the chance to eat a deluxe ham and grilled cheese sandwich!?”

Carry on.

Lara: “In conclusion, I would like to assert that pictures of children giving speeches at this podium is not only unfunny, but bears no weight on plot. Therefore—”

—therefore, my fourth wall is so cracked and broken to pieces that I have completely destroyed it. Let’s pan away from Lara for a little bit so I can work on repairing it.

Rhea: “Hey, Author! I want to be bestest friends with two pets! Let’s adopt another one!”

Absolutely not! …although, I do believe that is the first time I’ve seen that Want. Cool. Really tells you how often I have sims become best friends with a pet.

Oh by the way, did I not mention that Rhea rolled Popularity when she hit her birthday? Well, she did.

Thanks to Rose getting the penultimate Captain Hero chance card and going after the giant robot instead of the power plant, guess who just broke $1,000,000 in free cash? This family did!!

Wow, the Whites are poor compared to the other legacy families out there. I blame the lack of a family business.

Rhea: “Lara. Lara. Come play catch with me.”

Lara: “Okay, but I want to finish this chapter first.”

Rhea: “Come on, sis. What’s more fun: finishing a chapter in a dusty, musty old book, or playing a rousing game of catch with your favorite big sister?”

Lara: “The first one.”

How goes the 200 Grilled Cheese lifetime want, Lewis?

Lewis: “Mrf!”

Maybe we’ll get him back in shape once we’re done here, but in the meantime, Lewis is doing nothing but stuffing his face with grilled cheese sandwiches. This is a lovely aspiration, isn’t it?

And we’re keeping track of those sandwiches not by counting memories, but by using this nifty counter painting that we’ve shoved into a corner of the master closet. Thus the poor picture.

Rhea: “And this here is the starfish I found in the sand on the beach! Isn’t it beautiful!”

Chryse: “Hmm… have you ever even been to the beach?”

Chryse, by the way, is Ani-Mei’s daughter.

Oh look, another birthday.

Kevin: “Hey, Author?”

What’s up, Kev?

Kevin: “I get the feeling you’re getting tired of birthdays.”

Who, me? Never.

Knowledge. That’s pretty much perfect for you, I think.

Lara: “I’m pretty sure I ordered a red outfit for my birthday. What is this?”

Pink. It’s light red.

Lara: “Could we get my real outfit now, please?”

Yeah, okay.

We sent Lara out to buy her outfit, and look who showed up! Hi, Anne!

Anne: *slouch* “Is that Lara?”

It sure is. Nice sweater, by the way.

Anne: *slouch* “Thanks. I like it.”

Anne: “Hi there, Lara. We both have long brown hair, and we both like red. I think we’re going to be good friends.”

Lara: “Nice to meet you. Hey, Author?”

Yeah?

Lara: “Can I change yet?”

Have patience.

Arie: “Hehe. Mehehehehe.”

What’s the giggles for, Arie?

Arie: “Rhea. Lara. The Christmas Sisters.”

Rhea: “Hey, that gives me an idea!”

Rhea: “GREEN LIPSTICK!!”

Urgh… that is ghastly…

Rhea: “I know, right!?”

Hey look, Snow’s out haunting tonight. She looks angry. Then again, when has she ever not been angry?

Is Lara amazed by the sight of her newly teenaged hands, or is there super glue on her collar?

Kevin: “I found Arie.”

Yes, yes, very good, Kevin.

Rhea: “Well hi there, buddy! You came back!”

Rhea, seriously. You’re scaring me.

Rhea: “Who’s the cutest little puppy in the whole wide world? You are! Yes you are!”

Cynthia: {As a cat, I am deeply offended by that.}

Yes, I figured you would be. I did it anyway. Ha ha.

Cynthia: {If she comes indoors smelling like a slobbery dog, I will not be held accountable for my actions.}

Fair enough.

Cynthia: {Good. I’ll get my claws ready.}

Rose: “Et voila, crepes suzette. I hope the headmaster likes it.”

I hope he appreciates dessert for dinner.

Rose: “Hello, Headmaster Pinhill!”

*snerk*

Pinhill: “Something the matter?”

Nothing, nothing. I love your name, that’s all.

Rose: “Headmaster Pinhill, this is my daughter Lara.”

Pinhill: “It’s nice to meet you, Lara. Do you have any plans in mind for your future?”

Lara: “I’d like to travel.”

Pinhill: “Oh? Where to?”

Lara: “Abroad.”

Lewis: “What is this heresy!? Back in the fridge this non-grilled cheese goes!!”

What… is that.

Lewis: “A painting! It’s my new hobby, for when I’m not eating grilled cheese sandwiches!”

Not exactly what I meant, Lewis. You have thirty seconds to explain yourself.

Lewis: “Oh, you mean the hair? It’s AWESOME, that’s what it is!”

Cynthia: {Scratch my belly. I dare you.}

Obligatory private school uniform shot, anyone?

Rhea: “And thanks to my fast thinking in makeup, we’re still the Christmas Sisters!”

Lara: {Hm. Rhea is a Popularity Sim.}

Rhea: “So, after this we’re going to do what I want to do, right?”

Lara: “Check.”

Rhea: “Check as in chess, or check as in right?”

Lara: “Right.”

Rhea: “Okay, right as in the answer with the word right in it, or right as in right?”

Rhea: “Hello again, buddy! How are you today, sweetie?”

Is this the animation I think it is?

*crunch*

YES!!

Rhea: “Ow! Hey! What gives!?”

Rhea: “Huh. I… feel kinda funny…”

Leader of the Pack: {Hmph. She tasted like a cat. Person person minus.}

I never get tired of this effect. It’s just so cool.

Rhea: “Why do I suddenly feel like howling and rolling in the flowerbeds?”

Teen Wolf, everyone!

The first thing she does as a werewolf?

Rhea: “Hey, Dad! I’m a werewolf! Let’s hula!”

Lewis: “Okey-dokey!”

Lara: “Okay, Rhea. You just went through a metamorphosis, which implies your body just released a large amount of hormones and converted a lot of your energy into whatever caused you to grow all that hair and change your eye color. You almost undoubtedly need to eat now. Come have some lobster.”

Lewis: “She’s probably right, Ray! Go get some grilled cheese from the fridge!”

Rhea: “Let’s finish the hula first! But you are kinda right, I guess, Lara. I am sort of hungry.”

Lara: “I knew it. Hold on a sec. I’ll be right back.”

What are you doing, Lara? Why run out like that?

Lara: “I have to note this down for my thesis.”

Thesis?

Lara: “I’ve had an interest in supernatural life states since I was a kid, Author. Now I have a chance to study one up close and personal. I have to take notes on everything Rhea does.”

You know, technically, you still are a kid.

Lara: “The scientific community won’t care.”

If you say so…

Rose: “I will always love and support you, Rhea, even if you are a little hairier now.”

Rhea: “Gee, thanks, Mom. Love you too!”

Rhea: “Eurgh… what now!?”

Rhea: “Whoa. I’m totally not hairy anymore.”

Rhea: “Aw, man…”

Rhea: “Hey, Dad. Turns out the werewolf thing only happens at night.”

Lewis: “Darn.”

Rhea: “I know. Can I have some of that?”

Good. You’re home.

Rose: “Did you need something Author? I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?”

No, no, of course not. It’s just, most of the time the heirship meeting is held the moment the youngest is a teen…

Rose: “Oh. That. It’s just… I don’t want to break either one of their hearts. Laurel was crushed that she didn’t get heirship when I did… what if the one who’s a spare doesn’t want to be a spare?”

Rose: “Hey, I know! Can we do dual heirship?”

‘Fraid not. I don’t have the patience for that.

Rose: “Please? Author, these are my children.”

Just pick an heir and gather everyone into the parlor. We’re anxiously awaiting your decision. And try to do it before seven; Rhea’s supposed to leave for college today, and besides, we don’t need her all hairy and distracted while we’re trying to hold a family meeting.

Arie: “Lewis. You’re in my traditional seat. Move.”

Lewis: “Oh, sure. Do you like my pants?”

Arie: “Do I have to answer that question?”

Rose: “Is everybody seated? Comfy? Does anyone need anything? I have some cookies in the kitchen—”

Rose. Stop stalling.

Rose: *sigh* “Now that Rhea’s about to go to school and Lewis and I only have a few days until we’re elders, it’s about time we chose between you two to be the next heiress.”

Lara: “Heiress. What exactly does that entail?”

Rhea: “Oh, you know. One of us comes back home after college and has kids and keeps the house and the money and stuff, while the other moves into a little house in Peachtree Valley and disappears. Heir. Legacy. You know. That sorta thing.”

Lara: “I see… so we’ll be separated?”

Rhea: “Not till after college!”

Lara: “…oh.”

Rhea: “Yeah. I’m not too crazy about it, either.”

Arie: “It’s not like you’ll lose each other right away, Lara. I know you two are close…”

Lara: “Yeah, that, and it’ll be harder to finish my thesis… I only just got started…”

Rose: “Maybe… we could have dual—”

No.

Rose: “But—”

No.

Rose: “Alright…”

Rose: “Rhea?”

Rhea: “Uh, yeah, Mom?”

Rose: “Have you dyed your hair?”

ROSE.

Rose: “Alright…”

(Thanks, by the way, to Sam [SuperFrog] for the new textures for Rhea’s hair. They’re wonderful.)

Rhea: “Uh oh. Hold on a sec.”

Arie: “Looks like we weren’t fast enough, gang.”

Rhea: “Okay, I’m good. Continue.”

Lara: “That was so cool.”

Rose: “Rhea, I want you to be my heiress. Is that okay? Lara, what do you think?”

Lara: “It’s okay, Mom. I’m okay with that. At least I have her for the next four years of college.”

Rhea: “Should I be nervous about that?”

Rose: “Thank you, girls. I’m so proud of you for taking that so well.”

Rhea: “What’s the big deal? It’s just an heirship! Do we have anything to eat?”

Rhea: “Hi, SSU Admissions Office! I’m ready to go to school! Got any scholarships for werewolves? …no!?”

DISCRIMINATION!! They give scholarships for zombies and vampires, why not werewolves!? Huh!?

Rhea: “There’s just one more thing I want to do before going to taxi! I mean, going to school!”

Oh yeah? What’s that?

Rhea: “A-ROOOOOOOO!!”

Neighborhood Dogs: “ROOOOOOOO!!”

Rhea: “That felt good.”

Lara: “Awe-some.”

Rhea: “Boy, am I going to have fun at college!”

I bet you are. You’re a Popularity Sim after all. The only ones who like college more than you are Knowledge Sims.

Lara: “You rang?”

Nope. You can go on with your studies.

Lara: “I’ll have you know that this book isn’t nearly as informative as experiencing a werewolf firsthand was.”

Four days, and then you can go to college with Rhea. I promise.

Lewis: *yawn* “Morning, Rose.”

Rose: “Good morning, Lewis! It’s so great to see you this morning! In fact, I am absolutely aglow at the sight of you!”

Lewis: “That was a very bad pun, my delicious slice of cheddar cheese.”

Rose: “I’m sorry. It was fun, though.”

Taking after your mother, are you?

Lara: “How so?”

Maxing all your skills as a teenager.

Lara: “Well, I am a Knowledge Sim. I need to get as many scholarships as possible, so that I can keep the refrigerator at school filled. I’m worried Rhea might eat us right out of our legacy greek house.”

Lara: “Next step: dance scholarship.”

*snerk* You’re not going to get it that way.

Lara: “I can do whatever I set my mind to, and I can do it well. I’m dancing, Author, and I will win that scholarship.”

*snicker* Whatever you say.

Lara: “Wow, that is a very impressive dance move, Dad.”

Lewis: “Ow… back… can’t… move… help…”

Is that really polite at a birthday party? Just because no one’s seen you in three chapters…

Well, you read that right. Birthday party. Double birthday party, actually. Come on, you knew it had to be coming. They’ve got a child in college.

…doesn’t mean I like seeing baby Rose becoming an elder, though…

But take a look at the guest list. And this is the short version. Rose has about twenty more BFF’s she wanted to invite, but we kept it down to the important people. Kevin was here, too, but a ghost got to him before Rose got to the cake and he headed home early.

Here we go…

Aw, she’s so cute!!

Cynthia: {Oh, please. I bet I’ll look better than that when I’m an elder.}

Lewis: “So, remind me why we couldn’t put these candles in a plate of grilled cheese?”

Don’t worry. It’s a cheesecake.

Lewis: “Really!? But… there isn’t any actual cheese in cheesecake…”

Jade: {I am in the background, photobombing your party.}

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Balding, and in a tame old man outfit!

Lewis: “Rose? Ready to go clothes shopping?”

Family slapdance, with a vampire in tie-dye, a werewolf in a halter top, a woman with alien eyes, and a lady in a gold Victorian dress. I like it!

Rose: “So… what do you think? You look very dashing, honey, but I’m feeling awfully wrinkled and achy.”

Lewis: “You look wonderful, my honey bleu, but I feel naked without my hair dye. Do you suppose it’s too late to get hair extensions so I can get my rainbow mohawk back? I liked that thing.”

Sorry. The comb-over is just too funny on you. You get to keep it.

Lewis: “I don’t see how this is funny…”

Rose: “Hold on, you’ve got a hair on your new clothes.”

Lewis: “Do you think we could glue it back onto my head?”

Lewis: “You know, you’re so beautiful.”

Rose: “I’m not, really. You aged more gracefully than I did.”

Lewis: “Liar.”

Elara: “You’re really kind of the queen of the house, aren’t you Cynthia? Mom pretends to be the reigning heiress, but really you’re in charge, huh?”

Cynthia: {Hm. This one is smarter than the others.}

Lara: “You know, Dad, I think that I could concoct some kind of solution you could put in your sandwiches to keep them from going bad before you finish the platter.”

Lewis: “That sounds like a good idea, Lara, but you know, the balance of cheese to butter to bread is so delicate, adding anything to it might upset the flavor…”

Patrick: “Greetings, Author.”

Hi, Patrick. Quit looking straight at the camera, okay?

I pan over to the phone to have Lara call the college, and I see this.

Dez: “…!”

Rose: “WAAAAAA!”

I don’t even know why I’m reporting on this anymore, it’s such a common occurrence.

Lara: “You’re giving me the Tsang Footwork Award, then? Excellent. Thank you very much. Have a nice night.”

Lara: “Told you I’d do it.”

I stand corrected. Good going. *cough* though you’re still not a very good dancer so they must have based the scholarship off of sheer effort *cough*

Lara: “Did you say something?”

Nope!

Lara: “…there’s an awful lot of snow between me and the taxi.”

Welcome to living in the mountains, Lara.

Lara: “Technically, this is Riverblossom Hills, not Riverblossom Mountains.”

Terminology.

Lara: “Finally, I can be in close proximity to my research subject. And also enjoy living with my sister. Yes.”

Have fun at college, Lara.

Lara: “Oh, I will.”

Lewis: “Rose? Is something wrong?”

Rose: “No!” *hic* “No, there’s nothing wrong. I’m fine.” *sniff*

Lewis: “Would you like to talk about it?”

Rose: “No.” *sniffle* “Oh, Lewis, my babies are gone!”

Lewis: “Oh, my dear cheesecake, it’ll be alright. They’ve only moved miles and miles away from home to live on their own for the first time, in a place full of streakers and cow mascots and robots with tasers that are always on the verge of breaking, in possibly one of the most formative times of their lives…”

Rose: “Noooo, my poor little girls!!”

Lewis: “My babies!!”

*backs away* Let’s go check in really fast with Rose’s siblings, okay? And let Rose and Lewis sort out their feelings on their own.

First up on our game of Rapid-Fire Spares, Pepper!

Pepper: “Hmm…”

Nix: “Mom… what are you doing?”

Pepper: “Contemplating the ramifications of the workings of the universe.”

Nix: “Yes, but could you do it somewhere else…?”

Pepper: “I mean, what are the chances? Rose has two girls with tan skin, and I have one girl with green skin! It’s almost like girls run in the family! And then there’s that you’re the only great-grandchild of the aliens to inherit their skintone, though granted there aren’t that many of you…”

Nix: “Okay, Mom. I was kind of in the middle of a show…?”

Laurel: “Pronto a far tutto, la notte e il giorno sempre d'intorno in giro sta. Miglior cuccagna per un barbiere, vita piu nobile, no, non si da. La la la la la la la la la la la la la!”

Forget the lyrics there a little bit, Laurel?

Adam: “She most certainly did not. Are you really so uncultured as to have never heard the Barber of Seville, Author? Sing on, my dear.”

Alright, that’s all I need to know about these two. Let’s get out of here.

Next and last in rapid-fire spares: Ollie and Pennyworth. You boys done anything interesting yet?

Ollie: “Nope!”

See ya.

Hattie: “Seraphine? What brings you here?”

Seraphine: “You actually live here? This place is—”

Hattie: “Purple? Yes. Isn’t it a lovely shade? What is it you’re here for?”

Seraphine: “Alright. I have something for you.”

Hattie: “…Seraphine.”

Seraphine: “Uh-huh?”

Hattie: “You do realize this is Merry’s urn.”

Seraphine: “What? This is her urn? You mean I watched her die and the Grim Reaper drop it off and then I carried it in my inventory all the way here, and it’s hers? Fancy that!”

Hattie: “You inherited your mother’s manners, I see.”

Hattie: “LISTEN TO ME. I am still carrying out the investigation on Merry’s death, and now here you are, her abused daughter, carrying her urn straight to me! What am I supposed to think, Seraphine!?”

Seraphine: “What!? I didn’t kill her! It was Arc! He found out she killed his family, and he shot her! I had nothing to do with it!”

Hattie: “Arc, you say?”

Seraphine: “When I was a teenager, you told me that if I could bring proof that she murdered that other witch, you could get me and Baltic out of that house.”

Hattie: “What does that have to do with anything?”

Seraphine: “I’m saving you an investigation. Here is proof that Arc killed Merry. Case closed. I’m out now, but Baltic is still trapped. I need you to rescue him.”

Hattie: “Hm.”

Hattie: “Here’s the thing, Seraphine. There’s a war going on.”

Seraphine: “I know. I can hear it whenever you go to battle. You guys aren’t very subtle.”

Hattie: “We are very busy with keeping the light witches at bay. We don’t really have the time to come up with escape plans for estranged spares.”

Seraphine: “How hard could it be!? You teleport in and out, that’s all!”

Hattie: “There’s more to it than that.”

Seraphine: “Such as?”

Hattie: “SERAPHINE, I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!! Trust me, we don’t have the time, energy, or resources to get him out, not right now! We’ll do it someday, and in the meantime, as a reward for bringing me Merry’s urn, you have a home here. As long as you’re in this house, you’re protected from Arc and whoever else you might have offended. But we can’t do squat about Baltic.”

Seraphine: “He’s starving in there!”

Hattie: “That’s not my problem! I am not going to risk my already tired order on trying to infiltrate another witch’s house! Do you realize what spells she could have put up to defend herself from magical invaders? We don’t have the resources to take care of it right now! I told you, we’ll rescue him someday—after this war!”

Seraphine: “Defensive spells! This is Merry we’re talking about! It’s more like you don’t want to put forth the effort of doing just one little good deed!”

Hattie: “LOOK, do you want my help or not!? This is going to be on my terms, Seraphine, or there will be no rescue at all! Understood!?”

Seraphine: “…understood.”

That’s the end of this chapter! Happy simming!