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The White Chamber

By: Janet Huang

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Words Checked: 4924

Words in Oxford 3000: 92%

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Content

Chapter 1. Felicia’s preface…4

Chapter 2. Felicia’s Dream….13

Chapter 3. Felicia’s falling in Love..31

Chapter 4. Please Don’t, Daddy….39

Chapter 5. The very first time ..45

Chapter 6. Wake up or Another Nightmare…51

Chapter 7. The cruel Truth’s out there…56

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Chapter One: Felicia’s Preface

I am alone in a white chamber with

a door often sealed and it’s very bright

here. The room is really tiny like a

prison. However ,there’s not any scary

prisoners. I have no idea why I am

here. All the things I can see are all

white and rusty although I know what

shapes they are. However, the things

here are all white and dull. The ceiling

is white. The wall is white (is it rusty?).

The table and the chair are white. The

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cloth decorated in this room is all

deadly white. There’re not any windows

for me to look outside of this weird

place. It’s so strange that because in a

room without windows. How can I

breathe without fresh air? I can see

everything very clearly. Nevertheless, I

cannot see my face because there’s no

mirror here. But, I can see that my

hands are pale and white. I am tearing

my skin on my fingers. I am just trying

to find things in color like my blood

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which is supposed to be bloody red.

However, I only can see some white

liquid crashed out of my torn skin of my

fingers. I don’t feel scared of the liquid.

It’s not scary. It’s not blood. It’s just like

some water mixed with the milk.

Perhaps I am enjoying tearing of the

finger skin. However, I am not actually.

The queerest point is that I don’t feel

pain. That’s why I can keep tearing skin

on my finger. I’ve got so many

questions like why am I here, why is

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this room decorated in white, and why I

cannot see anything colorful and vivid.

There will be people come to see me

everyday. I don’t know that if they are

going to visit me or not. They don’t

carry any gifts. But still, I am always

looking forward to their visit. It’s the

only short period when the door won’t

be sealed, and I feel like I can breathe

some fresh air. The faces of visitors are

not clear but dim. Actually, I don’t think

they’re visitors but food feeders. They

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don’t bring me gifts but food. I don’t

even think they’re human-beings. They

are always giving me some stick and

thick nutriment to eat. It’s hard to

swallow it. The food or the nutriment

tastes awful or I should say disgusting.

No taste, not delicious, it’s not tasty to

swallow. Sigh, I shouldn’t expect too

much. It’s because I am not in my home.

However, I still want to ask why I am

here. Sometimes they give me some

injections and white pills which I have

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no idea why I have to take these. Of

course, those liquid in these unknown

injections are white, too. The light

upon me is dazzling my eyes. Certainly

that I won’t be in the darkness in this

room. I shouldn’t be afraid, but very

strange is that I am quite insecure in this

quiet, bright room. The door has been

opened now, so I guess it’ time to be

taken another shot. The visitors who

have dim faces and in white clothes has

just come. I once said I don’t feel hurt.

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No, I don’t feel hurt. When they punch

the tiny pin into my skin, into my blood

vessel, I don’t feel scared or hurt. It’s

like a daily process. They give me food

and I have to be given shots.Or it’s like

the science fiction stories; I was

kidnapped to a spaceship that aliens

own. Maybe they use me to do

experiments. They are observing

my reactions to the medicine. Maybe, I

don’t know. Everything could be

possible. It’s a treat I guess, they keep

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me alive, and I have to be the objects for

the experiments. Eh? Why is the

surrounding revolving? Some parts of

my brain are numb. I think I am going

to faint now because of these shots

which had mysterious functions in my

brain. The whisper far away is

murmuring near my ears. The ceiling

is revolving now, too. Yes, all of this is a

daily process. Given food and then

injected shots and next step is…..wait…

I cannot make myself conscious any

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more …….

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Chapter Two: Felicia’s Dream

Felicia was having a dream after

she was given a shot. She was in a room

very familiar to her in the dream. She

immediately remembered it was her

original room at her home. It was white,

too. Felicia’s father decorated it for

her. Her Lucy doll was laying on her

bed beside the window. She used to hug

Lucy doll when she was alone at home.

She often waited at the dinner table for

her Daddy’s to

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come back. Daddy said that he had to

work harder to make their home.

Felicia thought Daddy was right. So, she

always just sat there and waited,

hugging Lucy Doll. Actually Felicia

didn’t go to school. It’ was because she

was always laughed at that she didn’t

have a mother. “Felicia’s a dumb got

no mom,” sang the school boys. They

pulled Felicia’s pig tales, and made fun

of her. The school boys, could be only

nine to ten years old, thought it was

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really interesting to see a little girl

crying there alone. There was no one to

help her. More children joined in

“Felicia’s game”. They could win the

game if they made Felicia cry loudly.

They locked the door when Felicia was

in the restroom. Felicia always was

taken out by teachers who heard her

screaming and weeping. The textbooks

that Felicia had could never be a

complete book. They were torn into

pieces. Felicia really didn’t understand

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why they made fun of her. Why didn’t

they go to tease the others? Once she

quietly stood there and was wet. Yes,

they just used the fire hydrant to wet her

completely. Felicia couldn’t figure out if

there were tears on her face. All the

guys around her in the school just stood

there cold and no one wanted to help her.

They whispered behind her back.

Although it was only whisper, Felicia

still heard that. They said, “If Felicia’s

got a mom who brought shame to her

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family, she would do the same as her

mom did, too.” Felicia said not a word,

just left the classroom. She was sick of

this. She was always trying to be a nice

girl. She wanted to be Daddy’s good girl.

She was not a dumb. She was quite

intelligent. She did very well in school

subjects. She loved reading and learning.

The teachers liked her, but they didn’t

do her any favor. They thought all of

these were naughty games. After all,

they were kids; they were not adults

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who were wicked. Consequently,

teachers ignored the affront in poor

Felicia. But, she was too fragile to face

all of these. Felicia was only nine years

old. How could she understand? She

thought everybody hated her. In other

words, She had a mom who shamed

their family which used to be happy and

wonderful, so she became the person to

be laughed at and bullied.

“Felicia’s dumb got no mom.” The

verse they used to make fun of her. They

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thought it was not a big deal. This was a

kidding and, it was just a game on

pranks. Nevertheless, they didn’t know

that how much pain they had brought to

Felicia. The harm in the inner space of

rooted in Felicia’s heart deeply, but,

actually she didn’t hate her mom at all,

instead she hated herself because she

thought she must have been a bad bad

girl, so that was why everybody hated

her. She blamed herself all the time. She

didn’t think too much that the school

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girls and boys were just too bored with

these boring daily subjects.

Consequently, they wanted to have

some fun. Felicia was quiet. They

thought she was strength-less to fight

back . Life’s like this, wasn’t it? The

more powerful ones defeated the others

who were weaker. Human nature isn’t

going to be changed. The lack of fair

isn’t going to be changed.

Felicia understood this, so she never

tried to fight back. She couldn’t fight

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alone against the others in group. She

read it from book talked about human

nature.

It said that the public opinion was the

hardest to fight against, and especially

when you were alone without anybody’s

help. Poor Felicia, she inherited her

mom’s crime for her family. Even when

she was alone, she could still hear the

verse murmuring her ears, like a illusion

and it never stopped. She didn’t know

how to face these cruel but pure naughty

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games that her classmate made. At last,

she chose to escape. She locked herself

in the restroom for one short peace

period to take a breath. Often she was

weeping in the little and hard to breathe

restroom. She wanted to protect herself

with being alone in her world. She

wanted to be stronger, but unfortunately

she couldn’t, she was just a little girl,

and then she left the school.

Her mother, Delilah, left her and her

father when she was only six years old.

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Her father, Jackson never told her why

mom left them both when she was little

and too pure to accept the cruel truth.

She heard the story from the others, the

older ones. They said her mother had an

affair with a rich guy. They said Delilah

had fad of wealthy. Felicia’s father was

just a poor teacher, earning little money.

When the older people talked about her

mother’s affair, actually she didn’t

understand what an affair is. Eventually

Felicia found what the meaning was

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when she grew up older. Nevertheless,

she never hated her mother. After all, it

was a memory so far away. Felicia

could only remember that Delilah was

holding a man’s arm and lifting some

luggage, looked happily, and then

turned around, and gave the Lucy doll to

Felicia. Her father, Jackson, just stood at

the door and spoke not a word. Felicia

remembered that Delilah looked at her

father scornfully and said “You cannot

give me what I want.” Jackson kept

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silent. “Look at this small flat, I cannot

stand it anymore.” There was no answer

replied from Jackson. “You are nothing

to me now, and for me is that you are a

poor person who insisted to be honest

and, but you never understand the

reality is, do you?” Delilah tossed her

head and kept speaking without pause,

“You should be happy that you won’t

need to feed two people that you cannot

afford with your poor salary, and I have

no idea why I married to you when I

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was so beautiful and young then, come

on, let’s see what I am going to have, a

villa in east coast and everything in

famous brand. I, different from you,

poor guy, am going to be rich.”

“Mommy, what are you and Daddy

talking about? Why are you carrying

luggage? Are you going to have a

vacation? Mommy?” asked little Felicia

with her innocent eyes. “Good girl, you

have to stay here. Mommy cannot be

with you anymore” Delilah was smiling

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to Felicia hardly, said ”Keep the Lucy

doll I give you well, treat her nice, don’t

be like your father” turned to Jackson

with a mocking face,” I’m so glad that

my little girl has my beauty, and I wish

she could have a wonderful life in her

future.” “Mommy? Why? Why can you

not be with me anymore? We were

happy, weren’t we?” said Felicia sadly.

Delilah took a deep breath and tried to

explain to Felicia “When you grow up,

you will know what do you really need

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and want. If you want a life what you

really want, sometimes you must

sacrifice something to have it.” “Daddy?

What is Mommy saying?” said Felicia

and tried to ask the help from her father.

Delilah caressed her little girl’s face and

said “Poor Felicia, I’m sorry. I cannot

bring you to the east coast. If I brought

you, the guy over there wouldn’t be

happy about this. I want a joyful life.

The man stood aside the car parked in

front of the door can give me what I

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want. I am sorry, Felicia, you will

understand when you grow up.

Mommy’s got to go now. Take care of

yourself, ok?” “Mommy?? What are

you talking about? Mommy!! Don’t

leave us.” Felicia cried. “Just let her go,

Felicia, we will be doing fine even

without her” Jackson finally said

something and was grabbing Felicia’s

shoulder tightly. “Sure!” Delilah

responded scornfully, ” you will be

really wealthy in the future.” “Have you

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had enough?” said Jackson calmly was

trying to ignore the insult. “I’m going to

enjoy my life, a joyful life, and living in

a large cabin but not small flat like a

prison, farewell then” said Delilah

turned to Felicia “Good bye, sweetie”

and she kissed Felicia’s forehead. She

got in the car. The car just sped away

from Delilah’s family home. That was

the last time Felicia saw her mother.

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Chapter Three: Felicia’s falling in Love

Felicia put the Lucy doll back on the

bed. She guessed the Lucy doll was

worn out seriously. Her Lucy doll’s face

was pale, too. The eyes of her are dull,

and the color of Lucy doll’s dress turned

rusty. The eyes of Lucy doll’s looked so

empty just like Felicia‘s heart. “I must

think of Mommy too much, so I have

worn Lucy doll out” she thought. She

was alone all the time in this house

which mommy used to call prison. She

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didn’t have any friends. Felicia thought

everybody hated her. However, she still

wanted to make friends. She often

looked out the windows to see those

teenagers who are at the same age as her.

Sometimes when she stood near the

windows, she would see a boy named

Adam. She heard his friends called him

so. She thought she liked him, but Adam

would never know a girl up here looked

at him all the time. She sometimes

dreamed that she could talk to Adam.

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Adam lived very near her place, but she

never had a chance to talk to him,

because her father didn’t allow her to go

out. She didn’t know why. Jackson said.

“You should stay at home and be a good

girl. Don’t be like that woman who

brought shame to us. You are so alike

her. That’s why you’d better stay at

home. I don’t want you to be like her.”

Felicia chose to be Daddy’s good girl.

She didn’t want Daddy to be sad. She

saw Daddy drinking beer more and

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more at mid-night. She knew that

Daddy was sad. Jackson depended on

alcohol to erase the pain of his wife’s

leaving. She understood that she had to

behave herself for her father. Even

though she really wanted to make

friends, she knew that Daddy wouldn’t

allow this. Therefore, she just stood

near the windows, observed people and

looked at Adam who she admired. She

started dreaming that she would be with

Adam some day when Daddy was not

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so sad anymore. She often saw Adam

going out with his parents, and they

looked so happy just like her family

used to be before her mother left.

She was sometime jealous of this. She

picked up Lucy doll again, sat on the

floor and sang a song Mommy used to

sing to her.

“Felis~ baby lies on bed, she falls asleep

at night, or mom and daddy would stare

at her the all night” Delilah always

could easily to make Felicia laugh.

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Felicia began to think of all the

memories which she had when she was

little. Delilah held Jackson’s arm and

pulled up Felicia’s little hands when

they were going out for a walk. They

were singing together. Jackson’s face

was soft, just like he owned the whole

world when he had a wonderful family.

Felicia didn’t sing well, but she still

whispered with her mom and dad.

However, it was a long time ago.

Jackson once was a good man; he was

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generous and kind to everyone with

good temper. However, things changed

after times went by. He has changed

rapidly since Delilah left, too. Jackson

now had really a bad temper. Everything

could easily get him mad. Felicia had no

idea how to calm her dear Daddy down.

She could only cower and shake in the

corner when Jackson yelled at her. She

thought it was going to be over sooner

or later. Therefore, she ignored the

insult and scolding from her dear Daddy.

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She hoped everything was going to be

ok soon.

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Chapter Four: Please Don’t, Daddy!

Felicia looked around her room. It

was so empty just like Lucy doll’s eyes.

She was still wondering why she was

back here. She kept tearing her finger’s

skin sitting on the floor, still trying to

find the vivid bloody red. Suddenly, a

man rushed inside. It was her father,

Jackson, was shouting to Felicia” WHY

IS YOUR ROOM TOTALLY A

MESS????” Felicia said no at once and

responded ” No, Daddy, there’s nothing

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messy here in my room.” “You liar,

can’t you see the blood on the floor?”

shouted Jackson again. “No, Daddy, I

can only see the pure white liquid on the

floor” said Felicia.” Are you DAMN

color blind?” said Jackson angrily. “No,

Daddy, I don’t think so.” “You know

what you have to do now, right?”

“Please don’t. Daddy, I am sorry. I will

behave myself well. Please don’t, please,

I am begging you.” said Felicia in a

scared tone. She looked so scared. It

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seemed that something serious was

going to happen. “Bad girls should be

punished.” said Jackson cold. He took

off his leather belt for his pants. Yes, he

was going to punish Felicia with the

leather belt and whip his own little girl.

He was quite excited. Hot breath came

out from his mouth. “Come, honey,

you know this rule we made, right?”

“Yes, Daddy, but I wish you would be

kind to me.” Felicia seemed more

scared now. “A rule is a rule, and it’s

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never going to be changed” said Jackson

emotionless.

”Ready?” asked Jackson but at the same

time the whipping had begun slashing

Felicia thin skin. Felicia tried not to cry.

However, the pain was slitting her skin

and she felt like the slashing just came

in through her bones. The pain was

spreading over her whole body, made

Felicia strength-less. She was begging

to God the slashing end soon. She really

couldn’t stand these pains. Nevertheless,

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Jackson didn’t stop. Felicia started

begging her father and asked “Daddy,

Daddy, could you please stop? I have

had enough. Please, please, could you,

Daddy?” “It’s not enough for me” said

Jackson in a fierce tone. “And there will

be more, sweetie” and Jackson kept

whipping and whipping like a crazy

man, and it’s like Felicia was a criminal

was punished seriously or maybe he was

relishing in this moment. Felicia could

only whimper. She was not allowed to

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cry or there would be more. She bit

her tongue.

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Chapter Five: The very First Time

“HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA”

Jackson laughed out crazily,”You want

to be a slut like the bitch who left us,

right?” “No, Daddy, no, I don’t, and

please don’t talk about mommy like

that.” said Felicia. Poor Felicia, she was

shaking. “How dare you refute me.”

said Jackson madly. He rushed to

Felicia’s bed and took the Lucy doll and

said “This doll that Delilah gave you is

not worth kept” The doll was threw it

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out the window. He kicked Felicia

after he threw the doll away. Kicking!

Kicking! Kicking! KICKING!!!! Till

finally Felicia felt like she had no

strength to say anything. She was so

helpless and staring at her father

innocently. Suddenly Jackson turned

soft, and said” Oh! No! Darling? Are

you alright?” Felicia couldn’t answer

back. She was lying on the floor.

Jackson touched her face and

said ”Sweetie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t

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mean this.” “Daaadd..dy?” answered

Felicia weakly. “Come, honey, we have

to fix your wounds.” said Jackson who

had just abused Felicia. “Take off your

clothes; I have to check your

wounds.” ”No, Daddy, I am ok” ”I can

fix this myself.” answered Felicia.

“Take off your clothes now!!” cried

Jackson again as madly as before. “No,

I can’t, Daddy. I am seventeen now”

refused Felicia,” I don’t think it’s

appropriate to take off my clothes in

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front of you.” “I am your Daddy,

remember?” said Jackson, “Come!

Honey, I will fix your wounds.” And

then he took off her clothes fiercely or it

could be said he ripped Felicia’s clothes.

“You are so like Delilah” said Jackson

in lovingly eye sights”Come closer,

honey.” Felicia was crying and yelling ”

No! Daddy! I am not Mom!!” “You

are as beautiful as Delilah” kept saying

Jackson. He began to touch her body

which was shaking. His touches on

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Felicia’s body were very soft and gentle.

They were so delicate. However, for

Felicia those were not so. She felt

disgusted. This man wasn’t her dear

Daddy. He’s a mad man now. He’s not

healthy minded. She screamed,

pushed Jackson away and tried to

escape from this white chamber.

Jackson grabbed her down. Felicia

didn’t have much strength to break

away from Jackson’s force because of

her wounds. Jackson felt like Delilah

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was back. He kissed Felicia, and he lost

his mind already. He raped Felicia. That

was the very first time. Felicia fainted.

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Chapter Six: Wake up or Another

nightmare?

Felicia opened her eyes. Yes, it was

a dream. But, it was a dream which

reflected her past. She looked around

again. “Am I safe here?” she thought.

The memories now were full of her

head. She shook her head, and tried to

forget about those bad memories. She

felt something’s coming back. She was

quite insecure. She pulled her hair, and

held her arm. Her head bended to her

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slender legs. She need some securities

by acting this maybe,.

“Creak…” the door suddenly opened.

Felicia was scared. But, it was just the

visitor who came in to give her food.

She heard the visitor saying something,

but she couldn’t understand. After she

finished the stick and thick nutriment,

she was given another shot. She fell as

sleep again. Yes, the daily process, of

course.

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Felicia was now lying on the living

room floor. Yes, she was dreaming again,

just in the different place. She

couldn’t move.Ropes were tied on her

body. Jackson came in front of her and

said “My dear Delilah, are you ok?”

Felicia was so afraid of her father now.

She screamed again. Shouted loudly.

Just like the night that she had been

through when Jackson raped her the

very first time. She could only weep and

let her father kiss her like treating

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mommy. She had no way to escape.

When she felt she was hopeless, the

image of Jackson slowly disappeared in

front of her. But, she saw much more

disgusting things. Worms which

appeared suddenly were crawling

toward to her. They were crawling

slowly and slowly. Felicia tried to

escape, but she still couldn’t move.

The worms were crawling on her skin.

They were eating her, and chewing her

wounded skin. She was in pain, in great

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pain. She could see the blood now.

Bloody red decorated the floor, but it

wasn’t her blood. It was her father’s

blood. Jackson was lying on the floor

and smiling at Felicia, said ” Dear

Delilah, I love you.” There was a knife

on his back. Felicia screeched out loud.

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Chapter Seven: The Cruel Truth’s

Out There

There was another room next to the

white chamber. The room was bright,

too. Everything was put in good

order. However, the difference was

that this room was colored. It was

warm and didn’t make people insecure.

There were windows. There was an

antique table made of brown teak. The

curtain was pink. There were people,

too. Of course, they were not alone, and

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it seemed that they are gossiping.

The three people dressed in white

there were in the room talking secretly.

“It’s so scary, did you see that?” said

one young woman. “Of course I did.

The girl in the next door is always

tearing her finger skin and shouting

during her sleep.” said the other. ”It’s

my turn to take care of her today! I

really don’t want to look after her” said

another old woman. “Have you heard

why she was sent here? We are so

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curious about this.” said the first young

woman. “I shouldn’t talk about this, but

if you really want to know, I will tell

you.” said the elder one looking around

secretly. “Come on, Teresa, tell us.

Don’t tease us” said the second young

woman, and she seemed eager to know

about this. “OK! OK! But you both have

to promise me that you both won’t tell

anyone. We are not allowed to tell

secrets.” said Teresa. “We promise!”

said them both very quickly. “She was

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raped by her father because she looks so

much like her mother.” said Teresa

secretly. “And then?” the first young

woman Cherry asked. “And she killed

her father with a knife, the dead body

was found in the living room, and then

she tried to jump out of the window to

commit suicide. When the police

arrived , they thought that it was so

disgusting. The face of the dead body

was smiling and the blood spread on the

floor” said Teresa. “Oh my God!! It

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must have been terrible!! How could a

nearly dead person put a smile on his

face before dying “said Cherry. “Who

found the girl and sent her here?” asked

the second named Helen. Teresa

answered “A young boy whose name

is ..eh..Let me think about it..

ah…ah…ah, yeah, Adam!” “A boy?

Cherry was quite shocked “Wasn’t he

scared then?” “Of course he was, and he

told us the girl was a lunatic because he

found her often stared at him on the

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second floor before this event already.”

responded Teresa, “ and he said he hated

her looked at him in that way.” “It must

have been scary .” said Helen. “What

are all of you doing now?” shouted a

man. “NOTHING! Dr. Hughes”

responded all three nurses. “OK! Teresa,

come, take those colorful pills next door

for the girl” said Dr. Hughes. “Why

does she have to take those colorful pills

and shots?” asked Cherry. ”We’re trying

to make her recognize colors again and

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use the medicine to stimulate her

reactions to color” said Doctor. Hughes,

She was shocked by the blood.”

Suddenly there was screaming again

from the next door. “Quick! Quick! Go

and check her” commanded DR.

Hughes. They rushed to the chamber

which was painted in red, yellow and

blue in a mental hospital.

Felicia was screeching loudly and

loudly. She was in her own white

chamber in her dream in her own reality.

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She was tied in the dream, and could

only let the worms chew her skin. The

most unacceptable part is that she was

facing her father’s dead body lying on

the floor. She knew that she killed

Jackson. She now remembered all of

those.

That night, Jackson climbed up on

her bed again. She said no. However,

Jackson didn’t listen. He just wanted to

taste the feeling that like Delilah was

back. Felicia was scared, and this time

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she decided to fight back. She rushed

down stairs to the kitchen. She took a

knife. She threatened Jackson that if

he touched her one more time, she

would commit suicide.

Jackson wanted to stop her. He ran to

Felicia and wanted to take the knife

away. Nevertheless, he failed. Felicia

rushed to his back. Now she was

standing behind Jackson. She suddenly

remembered once mom said “When you

grow up, you will know what do you

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really need and want. If you want a life

that you really want, sometimes you

must sacrifice something to have it.”

Yes, now she understood . She wanted

her freedom. She decided to sacrifice

her father. Fiercely she stabbed into

Jackson’ back with the knife, again and

again with her slender hands. And then,

Jackson turned around, smiled, and fell.

Felicia towed her father’s dead body to

the living room. The blood’s wake on

the floor recorded what she had done.

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The fear had disappeared after she killed

her father.

However, the freedom didn’t come;

instead the guilt filled her mind.

After then, Felicia went slowly up the

stairs to her white chamber which

Jackson had decorated for her. She

stared at the window.

Would there out of the windows be

freedom for her? She wanted to find out.

Now she was back and tied lying on

the white chamber’s floor. She

67

understood all of this now. She had to

be in this white chamber forever. No

matter she woke up or not, she would

always be in the white chamber in

reality and nightmares.

The worms would always be there to eat

and chew her soul,to guilt of killing her

father, and every nights, Felicia’s

yelling never stopped, and the endless

nightmare would never stop, too.

68

The End