the wedding pack - stpauls-wokingham.org.uk pack 2014.pdf · wedding is part of a great tradition...
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The Parish Church of St. Paul, Wokingham
The Wedding Pack
Val Clifford (Parish Administrator)
0118 979 2122
The Parish Office, St. Paul’s Parish Rooms,
Reading Road, Wokingham, Berkshire RG41 1EH
www.spauls.org.uk
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Getting Married at St Paul’s Church, Wokingham
Many congratulations indeed on your engagement. We are delighted that
you are planning to have your wedding at St. Paul's. We’ll do everything
we can to make sure you have a day which is not only memorable and
lovely but also a firm foundation for the rest of your life together, as
husband and wife.
Much of the focus over the next months will be on this one day- but we
will keep gently reminding you that you are preparing for your lifelong
marriage and not simply for your wedding day. That is part of the aim and
focus of the Wedding Exploration Day you will be invited to and to which
we really encourage you to come. During the day we will do a lot of
practical stuff around getting ready for the wedding and we will put the
focus firmly back on the two of you together, and on your love.
This Wedding Information Pack is designed to help you with the things
you need to arrange. It covers three main areas:
Section 1. The legal requirements you have to fulfil in order to get
married at St Paul’s.
Section 2. What you need to know about the service, including the choices
we will ask you to make about what you’d like in the service.
Section 3. The cost of a wedding at St Paul’s.
The Pack is well worth holding onto after you have sent in the Options
Sheet (which is enclosed and on blue paper) because it will provide you
with the answers to many of the questions which often arise when you are
planning a wedding. However, we are more than happy to answer any
questions you have at any stage because we are absolutely committed to
making the planning period, the wedding itself and your marriage beyond
that as wonderful and joyful as possible.
May God bless and inspire you both, now and in the years of fulfilment
which, we pray, lie ahead of you.
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Contents Page p4 Section 1: Legal Requirements, i.e. can I get married at St Paul’s? p6 Section 2: The Wedding Service itself- information and decisions p10 Section 3: How much will our wedding cost? p12 2014 Fees Table p13 Appendix 1: Some Suggestions of Hymns and Music p15 Appendix 2: An Outline Order of Service
Some Useful Contact Details Val Clifford (Parish Administrator)
0118 979 2122 [email protected]
Fr Richard Lamey (Rector)
0118 327 9116 [email protected]
Fr Patrick King (Assoc. Priest)
0118 977 3397 [email protected]
Mthr Deborah Davison (Curate)
0118 978 7658 [email protected]
David Pether (Organist)
0118 966 3565 [email protected]
Sue Davenport (Flower Coordinator) 0118 978 6554
St. Paul’s Church is on the A329 Reading Road
to the north west of Wokingham.
It is handy for Wokingham Railway Station.
The Postcode for the Parish Rooms Car Park is RG41 1EH.
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Section 1: Legal Requirements
Who can get married at St Paul’s? You don’t need to be christened (baptised) to be married at St Paul’s. Neither is
being divorced a bar to being married in the Church of England any longer,
although we will need to see evidence that the previous marriage has been
legally terminated and have a conversation about the circumstances.
English law entitles you to be married in the parish church of the parish where
one of you is living (check on achurchnearyou.com), where you regularly
attend worship and are on the Electoral Roll, or where one of you has a proven
historical link. To meet this criteria either of you must be able to show just one
of the following connections with our parish.
That one of you:
was baptised in our parish or
was prepared for confirmation in our parish or
has at any time lived in our parish for a period of at least 6 months or
has at any time regularly attended church services in this parish church
for a period of at least 6 months or
That one of your parents, at any time after you were born:
lived in our parish for a period of at least 6 months or
has regularly attended church services in this parish church for a period of
at least 6 months or
That one of your parents or grandparents:
was married in our parish
In all cases involving attendance at church services - i.e. attending church
services, baptism, confirmation or marriage - this applies to Church of England
services.
Even if you cannot demonstrate any of the above connections, we will help you
explore whether it may still be possible for you to marry in our special church
and the clergy will advise you on an alternative course of action.
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Parental Consent This is only required if you are under 18 years of age during the legal
preliminaries to the marriage and must be given in writing.
When can I get married? Wedding services can take place on any day of the week between 8.00am and
4.00pm, subject to the availability of the church and priest.
Calling the Banns Calling Banns is the normal way of obtaining legal permission for your
marriage. It is the equivalent of putting up a notice outside the Registry Office
naming those about to get married; we read the Banns instead, since the priest
taking the service acts as the Registrar.
When Banns are called, your names are read out in church and anybody who
knows a reason in law why you may not marry has to notify the clergy. At St.
Paul's, Banns are called at the 9.30am service on the first three Sundays of the
month to permit at least a clear month before your wedding. So, for example,
for a wedding in May the Banns will be called in March. You do not need to be
in Church to hear your Banns being read but it is a special and romantic
moment and most people normally come along to hear their names being read
out. You will be made very welcome.
Where one of you lives in another parish, or you have moved into another
parish, you must have the Banns called there also. It is your responsibility to
arrange this with the parish priest there - please do this about three months
before the wedding. After the third calling of Banns you will be issued with a
certificate, for which a fee is payable. Please hand this certificate to the priest
taking your wedding, or in to the Parish Office: without it we cannot conduct
your wedding. It is not essential for Banns at the other church to be called on
the same Sundays as at St. Paul's.
Occasionally it is not possible to obtain legal permission for the marriage
through the calling of Banns. This is usually the case if one of you is a foreign
national, and in a few other circumstances. If this is the case, we will explain the
process of getting a Special Licence and then guide you through it.
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Section 2: The Wedding Service Itself
We are here to help you in whatever way we can! The clergy of our parish are only too happy to help you in the planning of your
wedding day. The Church of England’s excellent website will also give you
help and ideas and can be found at: http://www.yourchurchwedding.org Feel
free to contact the clergy with any queries you might have at any point.
The Marriage Exploration Day Your marriage will last much longer than the preparations for your wedding, so
it is as important for you to prepare for the marriage as for the wedding day,
and more so. With this in mind we invite you to let us help you with your
thinking about marriage. The best possible preparation is for you both to be
able to talk together about the things which will be important to you, your
hopes, fears and expectations, and we encourage you to attend a preparation
session to explore these issues. The feedback from previous courses has been
very positive, both in terms of what is discussed and in terms of simply making
time to spend a day together dreaming of the future. We are also happy to provide confidential help with more personal and private
matters.
Decisions, decisions, decisions Every wedding service is a blend of the personal and the universal. Every
wedding is part of a great tradition of human flourishing, which therefore has
certain constant things in common, and is also uniquely about you, and who
you are, separately and together. So, for example, you cannot write your own
wedding vows but you can choose which readings you have and how many
and who reads them.
The broad flow and structure of the service stays the same but there is a lot of
scope for you to include those important touches which make it your day and
your wedding. Just ask us for what you would like- the worst we can do, and
only rarely, is explore with you why it might not work and why there might be
a better alternative plan.
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Readings and Hymns
In theory there is no limit on the number of readings you can have. The
minimum is one Bible reading but often people choose two Bible readings, and
then a poem or a reading from a book. It’s important to think about the message
of the readings, and to choose ones which speak of your love and hopes. The
Parish Office has a list of suggested readings you might like to look through,
available on request. yourchurchwedding.org also has a very helpful list.
Similarly, the hymns need to be ones you like and know and which you think
other people will be able to sing as well. There is no point having the perfect
words if no-one knows the tune and it’s impossible to sing. Again, the person
taking your wedding will be more than happy to discuss these things with you,
as will the Organist.
These things are yours to decide (even if your parents are footing the bill!). You
could ask for five readings and three hymns but we are equally happy to
arrange a simple ceremony for you and two witnesses if you would prefer this.
And please do contact us with any questions or points of clarification- we are,
as we keep saying, here to help!
Who will take the wedding service? St. Paul's has three full-time clergy, one of whom will usually conduct your
wedding. You can ask for one of us specifically if you would like to. We are also
very happy for a relative or friend who is a priest in good standing with the
Church of England to conduct the service or for a minister from a church in full
communion with the Church of England to help with the service, but we need
to know well in advance. The necessary fees are still payable to the parish, even
if you bring your own priest. Whoever takes the service, all administration is
conducted through the Parish Office and any matter relating to the wedding
should be referred there.
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Do we need an order of service? It is handy for everyone to know what is happening in the service, and it is
lovely to keep a copy as a souvenir of your special day. It can be fancy or it can
be simple. It can include a hologram on the front page or it can simply have
text. These things are for you to decide.
It is vitally important that the priest taking your service has approved the text
before you print it. This is partly because we should (hopefully) know what
comes when in the service, and partly because hymns that have been
downloaded from the internet often contain spelling mistakes and verses which
we have long since stopped singing! You can borrow a hymnbook from church
if that would help. An outline of a typical service is given on p15. This is also
available from the Parish Office in electronic form. Please be sure to order enough copies for all your guests, plus 20 for the choir if
you are having them.
Wedding Photography and Videos It is really important that you have photos and, if you choose, a video by which
to remember the day- but it is equally important that people taking photos do
not undermine the sense of focus and worship in the service. It’s always useful
for the photographers to talk to the priest before the service, either at the
rehearsal or on the day. We have some simple rules which we will explain to
people before the service starts:
1. Only the official photographer can take photos during the service itself
2. Flash should not be used in church because it is quite obtrusive (apart
from after the signing of the registers and during the procession).
3. At all times your photographer should work under the guidance of the
priest taking the service.
The aim of these rules is to maintain the balance between worship and photos,
and to allow us to be as helpful as we can from that foundation. As you process
out at the end of the service you are, as it were, fair game for people to take
photos. If it is raining the formal photographs may be taken in church with the
consent of the priest.
Video recordings tend to happen from a set position so the important thing to
get right is to choose the best place for the camera operator before the service
begins.
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Church Flowers At certain times of the year there are many weddings at St. Paul's and this
means that it is impractical for us to allow professional florists to arrange
flowers in church. Our Flower Guild are talented flower arrangers who know
what works well in St Paul’s Church. They will be happy to provide what you
require for a very reasonable price. Please speak to Mrs Sue Davenport to
discuss what you would like.
Please note that during the Church's seasons of Advent (the four weeks before
Christmas) and Lent (the six weeks before Easter) flowers are not used to
decorate the church for normal worship. If you are being married during one of
these seasons the flowers will be removed before the Sunday services.
The Bell Tower St Paul’s has one of the finest ring of bells in the county. The tower has eight
bells and they can be rung as you leave Church as husband and wife and while
you have photos outside church. It can a lovely, joyful way of marking
something very special.
How will we know what to do in the service? A rehearsal will be arranged a few days before the wedding. The person
conducting the service will contact you to arrange a suitable date and time. You
are welcome to bring anybody who has a part to play in the ceremony - best
man, bridesmaids etc - but it is not essential for them to attend.
The most important thing is that the two of you get everything you need out of
the rehearsal and if having other people there will prevent that then it is best to
just have the two of you there, and for you to tell other people what they need
to know afterwards. Often the best rehearsals are the ones with the fewest
people there! Please bring to the rehearsal the Banns Certificate if you have had
Banns read in another parish, and any outstanding money.
Please do pay attention when the priest urges you to plan to arrive on time for
the wedding. Having everyone in church sitting around for 15 minutes waiting
for the bride (or groom, conceivably) to arrive is not the way you want your
wedding to start! Plan to be on time.
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After the service… …well, with a lot of effort and commitment, you will live happily ever after. But
specifically, you are welcome to have photos taken in church if you would like
to. Confetti may be used, but we’ll ask your guests to confine it to the area
around the lych-gate so that it doesn’t blow onto the graves around the Church
path. Rice and plastic confetti shouldn’t be used as it makes the path slippery in
wet weather and we do not encourage the use of non-biodegradable material.
If you are going abroad for your honeymoon and you wish to obtain a joint
passport or a passport for the bride in her married name you should obtain a
special form from the Post Office for the Parish Priest to sign before the
wedding.
Section 3: How much will my wedding cost?
We may not be able to answer this question immediately because the fees are
approved each January for the calendar year ahead. Usually, the previous
year’s charges will give you a reasonable guide but we will only be able to
finally confirm the fees early in the year you are getting married. The fees are
made up of four parts:
1. Statutory Fees These are fixed by authority of Parliament, are the same throughout the
whole of the Church of England and cannot be varied. They relate to the
legal aspects of the ceremony and increase by a small amount each year.
Fees are charged at the rate for the year that the wedding takes place, not
the year in which it is booked.
2. Payment to those taking part There is always a Verger. Bellringers, Organist and Choir are optional and
payments only apply if you request the services of these people.
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3. Reimbursement of expenses This includes expenditure by the church specific to your wedding, such as
additional heating in winter and a contribution towards maintenance of
the organ and bells. Again, you pay for what you are choosing to use.
4. Video Recording We permit the use of a video camera during the service but must make it
clear that any recording is subject to copyright law. This requires an
additional fee to be charged when a recording takes place, which goes to
the organist and to the choir.
When do we pay? We are keen to make the whole experience of getting married at St Paul’s as
smooth and effortless as possible, so we are happy for you to pay for your
wedding by cash or by cheque, in one lump sum or in instalments over the
months running up to wedding. Ultimately though, wedding fees should be
paid in full two weeks before the wedding. Cheques should be made payable
to "Wokingham St. Paul Fees Account."
Do we need the church heating on? The Church is not normally heated on a Saturday or on weekdays which means
that the heating has to be turned on especially for your service. If you choose to
have the church heated there will be a charge for gas of £55, and clearly that
will depend on the time of year you are getting married and on how much you
trust weather forecasters...
Do we need a verger? The short answer is yes. The verger helps everything in church run smoothly.
They set up before the service and tidy up afterwards. They guide the Ushers
and play any CDs you ask for. A verger is a key part of the smooth running of
every wedding, and is paid an appropriate fee for their time and skill.
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Wedding Fees for 2014
These are the charges which will apply from January 2014. The charges
you will pay will be those in force on the day of your wedding.
1. Statutory Fees £
a) Publishing Banns 21.00 *
b) Marriage Service 392.00 *
c) Marriage Certificate 4.00 *
£417.00
* These fees will be increased from 1st Jan 2015
2. Payment to those taking part Please note that if another organist plays at the couple's request, St. Paul's
Organist is still entitled to the fee.
a) Organist 110.00
b) Choir 150.00
c) Bellringers 130.00
d) Verger 30.00
3. Reimbursement of Church Expenses
a) Towards the cost of organ maintenance 30.00
b) Towards the cost of bell maintenance 30.00
c) Towards the cost of gas for heating 55.00
4. Video Recording
a) Organist 55.00
b) Choir 50.00
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Appendix 1: Some Suggestions of Hymns and Music
Our organist, David Pether, has compiled a list of popular choices which is
given below. If you need advice on these options, he will be happy to help.
If you are considering anything outside this list, please contact David
Pether at least three months before the wedding to discuss it, as new music
may need to be ordered and learned for the wedding.
For the entry of the bride Wagner Bridal Chorus from Lohengrin (‘Here comes the Bride’)
Clarke Trumpet Voluntary (‘Prince of Denmark’s March’)
Purcell Trumpet Tune
Stanley Trumpet Voluntary
Charpentier Prelude to the Te Deum
Handel Hornpipe from 'Water Music'
Pachelbel Canon in D
Mendelssohn Introduction from Organ Sonata No. 3.
Hymns (Hymn numbers should NOT be printed in the Order of Service.)
264 All things bright and beautiful 237 Morning has broken
368 Guide me, O thou great Redeemer 320 O perfect love
457 The King of love my shepherd is 433 O worship the King
393 Lead us heavenly Father, lead us 239 Lord of all hopefulness
408 Love Divine, all loves excelling 413 Now thank we all our God
298 May the grace of Christ our Saviour 488 'Jerusalem'
436 Praise, my soul, the King of heaven 440 Praise to the Lord
137 Come down, O love divine
397 Let us with a gladsome mind
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For the procession Mendelssohn Wedding March
(from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream’)
Widor Toccata from Symphony no. 5
Karg-Elert Nun Danket alle Gott
Guilmant Grand Choeur in D
Dubois Toccata
Vierne Finale, Symphonie No 1
Lefébure-Wély Sortie in E flat
John Ireland Alla Marcia
Henry Smart Postlude in C
Nigel Ogden March – ‘New Era’.
For the signing of the registers (If there is no choir, one of the following pieces could be played:)
J.S. Bach Air from Suite No.3 in D
J.S. Bach Jesu, joy of man’s desiring
J.S. Bach/Gounod Ave Maria
Handel Air from The Water Music
Handel Largo
Schubert Ave Maria
Boëllmann Prière à Notre-Dame (from ‘Suite Gothique’)
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Appendix 2: Outline Order of Service
Order of Service for the Marriage of
(…..) and (…..)
Monday the 23rd of December 2013
at St. Paul’s Church, Wokingham
Conducted by Fr. Richard Lamey
The Arrival of the Bride (Name of music)
The Welcome
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God,
and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you and also with you.
God of wonder and of joy:
grace comes from you, and you alone
are the source of life and love.
Without you, we cannot please you;
without your love, our deeds are worth nothing.
Send your Holy Spirit, and pour into our hearts
that most excellent gift of love, that we may worship you now
with thankful hearts and serve you always with willing minds;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Hymn 1
The Preface (which describes the joys and responsibilities of marriage)
The Declarations
Will you, the families and friends of (Name) and (Name),
support and uphold them in their marriage, now and in the years to come?
We will.
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The Reading and the Address
1 Corinthians 13, read by (Name)
Hymn 2 (omitted if only 2 hymns)
The Marriage
(Name and Name make their vows to each other and exchange rings)
Hymn 3 (if 3 hymns ) or Hymn 2 (if 2 hymns)
The Prayers
Lord of life and love: hear our prayer.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come; thy will be done;
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.
The Blessing
The Signing of the Registers
The Wedding Procession (Name of music)