the voice - 10 06...rosh hashanah day #1. the 50th anniversary of the moon landing prompted some...

Congregation Sons of Israel • Manalapan, NJ • 732.446.3000

Volume LXXVI • Number 3 NOVEMBER 2019 • 3 CHESHVAN - 2 KISLEV 5780

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2 the VOICE • 3 CHESHVAN - 2 KISLEV 5780

VoicetheTable of Contents

From Our Rabbi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3President’s Message . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5Sisterhood Scoop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9Men’s Club Happenings . . . . . . . . . . . . 11Nursery News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13Trees in Israel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14Executive Director’s Viewpoint . . . . . . . 15Ritual News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Mazel Tov & Condolences . . . . . . . . . . 17New Members . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17November Birthdays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19November Anniversaries . . . . . . . . . . . . 19From My Perch by Maxine Pilavin . . . . 21Donations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 November Yahrzeit List . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32Adult Education . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33Calendar: November . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38Calendar: December . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39Minyan Times . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

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ROSH HASHANAH DAY #1. The 50thanniversary of the moon landing prompted some

lunar reflections. (Israel almost became the 4th countryto reach the moon last April.) Rashi asks why we needGenesis at all! The Torah is a book of mitzvot – and thefirst mitzvah (a lunar Jewishcalendar) doesn’t appear untilExodus 12! Rashi’s answer: Genesisestablishes our claim to Israel. Earthbelongs to God. He first gave theLand of Israel to others. He thentook it from them and reassigned it tothe Jewish people. In a talk about Israel, I notedthreats posed by a) Palestinians, b)terrorists on her southern/northernborder or c) the BDS (Boycott,Divestment & Sanctions) movement.These are external threats. PerhapsTHE danger may be our growingambivalence toward Israel. In WeStand Divided: The Rift Between American Jews andIsrael, Daniel Gordis claims that even before Israel wascreated, our two communities’ dreams for a Jewishfuture had little in common. Most of us do not know thehistory of Zionist thought/activity. Economic support forIsrael (by donations, visits, or buying Bonds) wasnecessary but insufficient. We must solve anIsrael/Zionism literacy gap. ROSH HASHANAH DAY #2. Over 30 years ago,I took part in a bizarre wedding. The bride’s parents(survivors) objected to their daughter marrying a Jew!Their “lesson” from the Shoah was that Jewish visibilitymade us targets. Hence, they concluded, invisibility

must be our new strategy. We can only be secure as Jewsif we become insecure in our Jewishness. (EmilFackenheim argued the opposite. To the 613 mitzvot inthe Torah he added a 614th: Stay Jewish. Don’t handHitler a posthumous victory.)

Jewish buildings are now in a“post-Pittsburgh” era regardingenhanced safety, but in our focus onphysical security, do we ignorespiritual security? Will bullet-proofglass on Temple doors make anyoneinside a better Jew? Is that not theview of those who felt that we’llonly be safe if we essentiallydisappear? Perhaps attention to ourspiritual security at times entailssome risk to our physical security.

We noted the binding of Isaac

(Genesis 22) read earlier that day.Was Isaac put at risk by Abraham?Perhaps it was riskier NOT to bring

Isaac. It would have exposed Abraham as one who doesnot take God seriously and exposed him as one whosereligion Isaac need not take seriously.

Akiba taught Torah in public when the Romans

banned doing so. Pappos urged Akiba to be cautious.Akiba gave a parable of a fox that advised fish in theriver to “escape” the fishermen’s net by seeking “safety”on the dry land. The fish replied: if we are fearful inwater, how much more should we be fearful on dry land!Akiba was martyred, but Pappos was jailed as well.Ultimately, he was not saved by “playing it safe.” This year, January 1 will be a Jewish new year dueto the Siyum Hashas – the festive conclusion of the daily

WWW.SONSOFISRAEL.COM 3

From Our RabbiFrom Our RabbiAND WHEN OCTOBER GOES….HIGH HOLIDAY SERMON

“RECAP” By Rabbi Robert S. Pilavin

Rabbi, continued on page 17


Comments, Suggestions, Questions...RabbiRobert Pilavin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] Zagha . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] DirectorVic Schioppo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] Vice PresidentBonnie Leff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] President/RitualMichael Lebowitz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] Kass . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] & BusinessAllison Robinson . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] - The Orchid/Bistro 70Dalia Barness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected]’s ClubMichael Katz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] PraesidiumVickie Amron . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] Epstein . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] Fassman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] Fromm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] SecretaryJodi Jacobs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] (the Voice)Bill Berger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] (Education)Jay Fields . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] Trustee-at-LargeShaun Lillianthal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [email protected] School DirectorJackie Weilheimer . . . . . . . . . . [email protected]

A News Magazine Published Monthlyby Congregation Sons of Israel

Rabbi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Robert S. PilavinPresident . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Maurice ZaghaExecutive Director . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Vic SchioppoNursery School Director . . . . . . .Jackie Weilheimer Men’s Club President . . . . . . . . . . . . .Michael KatzSisterhood Praesidium . . . . . . . . . . . Vickie Amron . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Rochelle Epstein . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Donna Fassman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Mindy Fromm

Editor, the Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bill BergerManager of Communication & Business . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Allison Robinson

www.sonsofisrael.com732-446-3000

the Voice is the official monthly publication of Congregation Sons of Israel and is mailed free

to all congregants and nursery school families.

Third class postage paid at Freehold, New Jersey.

Advertising rates upon request.Congregation Sons of Israel

Gordons Corner Road • PO Box 369Manalapan, NJ 07726

Articles for the next issue of the Voice are due November 11

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president’s messagepresident’s message

By Maurice ZaghaThis was our President’s Kol Nidre Appeal:

Good evening, Hatimah Tovah. A happy andhealthy New Year to everyone.

I'm honored to have this opportunity to speak to allof you on behalf of Congregation Sons of Israel,especially at this special time. Before I make my appeal ……there are a numberof very important items that I am excited to share withyou. But first I need to respond to a statementthat Rabbi made last week. He suggestedthat I would be staying on as presidentfor another term. Rabbi – just onequestion….have you spoken to mybusiness partners, my cycling partners,or forever in life partner? movingon… As I mentioned last year our themefor any idea is and has been, “let’s try it”. I am proud to announce that withmuch effort, we now, once again have aHebrew school. SAJE, Sons Afterschool JewishExperience, is the result of a major effort spearheadedby our Executive VP Bonnie Leff and ChayaFriedmann who created this unique learning model ofJewish Learning. As the name indicates, our new school will offerthe children enriching experiences as they learn aboutour Jewish heritage and master the skills to help thembe enthusiastic participants in Jewish life and culture.Our blended class commenced with children between6 and 8, and has been a success right out of the gate.Eleven students, nine new families as members of ourshul. This past weekend a number of those new families

joined us for Shabbat services. It was wonderful tohear the children’s voices and watch them find comfortin our sanctuary. We welcome you and appreciate yourconfidence in the program and our teachers. I am also very proud to say that attendance at ourmorning and evening minyan has improved. Post KN2018, I did a search on the web for attendees…..notlocating any, I turned to and would like to thank Josh

Nabozny for discovering the Minyan Appwhich has made a monumental difference

in achieving minyan. It has helped - westill need more of you to respond, but itis definitely better. I would also like tothank Lonny Dolled for his assistancein setting up and monitoring the app.

As you might have noticed, wedid have a rough start – and the result

was the bombardment of textsrequesting your attendance. If you are

still annoyed, Josh is sitting over there.No good deed goes unpunished. Seriously,

I would like to thank those of you for makingand keeping the commitment of attending and thank allof you in advance for making it a priority to continueour service to our membership and to the community. I am also proud to announce that we have recentlypartnered with Apple Computer to create a new deviceespecially for Jewish mothers, the iNoodge. It comespre-installed with Apple’s app called the I-Should-be-so-lucky-that-my-children-would-find a nice Jewishboy/girl to marry.

Last item, I promise… In my 2018 Kol Nidre speech I suggested anumber of ways we can financially help our shul. Itpleases me to report that we did receive donations

My Kol Nidre Speech

President, continued on page 6

through IRA Required Minimum Distributions. Pleaseconsider this, and other tools in your year-end taxplanning. I just became aware of a full page ad in the mostrecent issue of the New York Jewish Week. Theheadline read: "These women and men knew theywould be needed as much as they would be missed."This headline was followed by a list of people (alldeceased) who had made bequests to a Jewish causedear to their hearts - in this particular case, the UJAFederation of NY. After the list of names, the bottom line of the adread: "They left a legacy. And through their generositythey left the world better than they found it. May theirmemories be a blessing." I found the ad very moving - and wise. The causeswe support in our lifetime still need support after weare gone. With thoughtful advance planning, we canmake a charitable statement that outlives us. During this year, 3 families from Sons of Israel didjust that. Fannie Kotlus was a dear member whopassed away two years ago. Paula Vanovitch passedaway just last year. Independent of each other, bothfamilies initiated the idea of a legacy gift. This week we marked the first yahrzeit of LarryBloom, whose family has been a pillar of thissynagogue for nearly a century. In addition tounderwriting the automation of all memorial boards inour Sanctuary prior to his passing, Larry left our shul asix-figure bequest to be used at our discretion. These three families wanted to express theirtangible appreciation to Congregation Sons of Israel. Ican only pray that their generous attitude iscontagious... Pause………… I would like to share my observations as a memberof Sons of Israel for more than 28 years. Share myexperience with this shul, my extended home and withyou my extended family. Before I begin, I would like to talk about the

elephant in the room and discuss the recent duesincrease. It is simple….we need the funds to keep ourshul going. I had conversations with some of youregarding the increase and if I missed returning yourcall, I apologize. Some expressed that - my dues isenough. My response was always the same – we do notkeep the doors open solely on the income from dues. I am optimistic that after my appeal, you will seejust how important this shul has been, and is, to eachand every one of us, and hopefully your feelings on theincrease will change. Year after year we gather at Sons during theholidays to celebrate the New Year, and to pray forforgiveness and for a better year to come. Year afteryear we share with each other the growth of ourfamilies. For Barbara and me, as with many of you, itstarted when we were a young couple (no grey hair)with small children. This was followed by nursery andHebrew school, and then Bar and Bat Mitzvahs on thisBimah. We met you, and made friendships that willlast forever. In between the holidays I have seen many of youat Wegmans or other locations. We stop and catch up.At the holidays, year after year - hi how are youdoing…Susie is in a serious relationship, going onvacation…applications to college. We share the eventsof the past year. And at each holiday season it is wonderful to seethe new additions to our families; our children are nowwith a girl or boyfriend….then a fiancé. Some of thesematchups were made right here, from Hebrew schoolor the Cabarets, or from the friendships we haveestablished. We hug, congratulate each other –genuinely happy for each other. Boy and girlfriends have turned into engagementparties and aufruf’s – and then weddings… many herein this shul, at this Bimah. Followed by grandchildren- baby naming’s and bris’s. Grandchildren –definitelya reason to be thankful for having children. And at times we have shared those sad moments of

President, continued from page 5

President, continued on page 7


life – a passing of a parent or a spouse - and again, wereturn here to this building to find solace. And whatyou receive is a hug from those who love you – whofeel for you. A personal comment - Almost a year agomy mother of 93 years passed. Your outpouring ofsupport, your hugs, were incredibly helpful. I cannotthank you enough. But these experiences are not ones I alone haveshared. We are all family – we all have supported eachother in the happiest moments of our lives as well asthe tender ones. Let’s take this relationship a step further. Oursynagogue is over 100 years old. My observations ofOUR family today were the same 100 years ago. Thosefamilies started this community…we are thecontinuation of it. Many of us have shared more than our family life– when the shul was in need, we have given of ourprofession without expectation of compensation. Aspresident, and I thank you, I have personally reachedout to many of you for legal services, financialservices, construction, technology, websitedevelopment, security services, security and videoequipment, cleaning services – even medical advice.And now our children who we all have watched groware the professionals who we turn to for advice orprofessional assistance. They too have donated theirtime and talent as lawyers and with professionaldemonstrations.

There is no pondering why we all are members ofSons and why we give of ourselves. We enter our shulwith a level of comfort as if we were walking into ourown home. We do so because this is our home -because the person next to you behind and in front ofyou are your family. What makes us a family is that weshare our lives with each other. We share our momentsof joy, and of crisis, and of mourning. Together as a family, we need to ensure that ourhome is here for us tomorrow and for the next 100years. It is obvious where I am going with this. I amasking for your financial support. Tugging on youremotions in hopes of your generosity. It is my hope that my words, my emotions, myheart has touched your heart – that our love for thisshul empowers you to give. On your seats are the Kol Nidre pledge cards.Please be plentiful. After this speech, volunteers will walk aroundcollecting donations. You will know them, by theirlovely Wegmans donation bags and by their look ofpathetic desperation. Thank you for being here tonight. Thank you forlistening. Thank you in advance for your kindness andyour generosity. And thank you for being a part of my Sons ofIsrael family.

President, continued from page 6


Children Prepare decorations for our Succah

Photos by Vicki Amron


Sisterhood ScoopBy Mindy Fromm

Although the High Holidays are behind us now, I would still like to reflect upon the warmthand spirit that was felt in our shul this year. It made my heart happy to see all the beautiful

families come together to welcome in the New Year. Proud parents and grandparents carryingtheir adorable new babies along with the many young children running up to the bima to hearthe shofar was a beautiful sight to see. Our sukkah decorating day was a huge success asparents and children happily created beautiful artwork that adorned the walls and ceiling andmade the sukkah look exceptional. This created a festive venue for the family Sukkot dinnerthat evening. Thank you to all who worked so hard on this wonderful program.

We are looking forward to our Sisterhood Shabbat Dinner and Program, which has beenmoved to November 8. There is still time to join us for a delicious meal. Please call the officeto RSVP.

AND NOW...DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?!?!BEATLEFEST IS COMING TO SONS OF ISRAEL.So Beatles fans GET YOUR TICKET TO RIDE for $20. Come TWIST AND SHOUT

on Saturday November 16th. And LISTEN to Something New Tribute Band who I promise willkeep us singing and rocking HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE. So grab your significantother, family, friends, neighbors and anyone else you can think of. I promise they will WANNAHOLD YOUR HAND AND LOVE YOU DO for bringing them. Call the office to reserve yourtickets before it’s sold out.

Now on to my next order of business, my plea to all of the wonderful and strong womenout there to get involved in our Sisterhood. It wasn’t too long ago that I truly had no idea aboutthe things our Sisterhood does for our shul and our community. I began my journey intoSisterhood slowly, first attending events and then helping out on a committee. This experiencenot only allowed me to meet some of the most wonderful, dedicated, strong, giving and lovingwomen, but to also help make a difference in our Synagogue. I so enjoyed these experiencesthat when asked, I accepted a seat on the Sisterhood board. Now for the second year I join threeother amazing and strong women to make the Presidium. Together with Vickie Amron,Rochelle Epstein and Donna Fassman, we join with some of the most dedicated women tomake up the board. But we need help. And that is why I’m turning to all of you. We are so proudof our many accomplishments and endeavors and want to continue for years to come. Pleaseconsider helping out on a committee. We need you and I will make the promise that you willalways have amazing women by your side to help and encourage. Always remember thattogether we can make a difference.


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Iwish you all a Happy and a Healthy New Year!!I hope you were all able to enjoy the holidays

among family and friends. The Men’s Club Sunday programs continue onNovember 17 at 9:30 AM as we welcome JulianDavis who will present “Twin Obsessions” – aterrifying explanation of the dark side of anAmerican icon, obsessed with the Model ‘T’automobile and equally obsessed with promoting avirulent brand of hatred. On December 15 at 10:00 AM, our Sundayprogram goes on the road as we will be at Chhange,the Center For Holocaust, Human Rights &Genocide Education, at Brookdale CommunityCollege in Lincroft. Our very own Mimi Werblerwill lead us on a tour of the museum.

All are welcome to attend, so please RSVP to the

synagogue office so we know how many will beattending both of these wonderful and informativeprograms. The Men’s Club will be attending the NJ DevilsJewish Heritage Night on Wednesday, December18, 7:00 PM when the Devils face off against theAnaheim Ducks. As in prior years, the Maccabeatswill be performing and there will be extra kosherfood stands open that night. Tickets are only $45and going fast, so please RSVP to the synagogueoffice. Refer to the flyer in this issue of the Voicefor more details.

Details of our programs and events will beforthcoming utilizing the CSI web site,www.sonsofisrael.com, future issues of the Voice,flyers in the Synagogue and mailings. You canalways contact the Synagogue office at 732-446-3000 for information on our events. A special Thank You to all who volunteered asushers for High Holiday services. It was due to yourefforts that the services ran so smoothly. To those who have already sent in their dues for2019/20, thank you very much. For those who haveyet to do so, please join us. Your $36 membershipdues help the Men’s Club provide assistance to ourSynagogue for capital improvements as well ascharitable donations to many worthwhile causes. We are looking for men who would like to betrustees for the Men’s Club. Please contact MichaelKatz at [email protected] if you are interestedin joining our board. When you look at the Men’s Club wall in themain entranceway, you will see a special “Men ofDistinction” section. As many of us have honoredthe special women in our lives with inclusion on the“Women of Valor” wall, the Men’s Club would likeyou to honor those special men in your life with aplaque in the “Men of Distinction” section. Thecost is $150 for this special honor.

Men’s Club HappeningsMen’s Club HappeningsBy Michael Katz, President

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nursery newsnursery newsBy Jackie Weilheimer

The holidays, together with our “Sons”ationalchildren, were so warm, festive and fun! All the

classes worked so hard, creating beautiful decorationsfor our sukkah…painting, gluing, coloring, and cuttingwere some of the wonderful techniques they used. It wasso nice to go in the sukkah for a “cookie in the sukkie”and see everything displayed. While in the sukkah,Rabbi Pilavin showed the children the Lulav and theEtrog. Each child had the opportunity to shake, smell,and say blessings. It was so special sharing cookiestogether afterwards! In addition to Sukkot, we also celebratedSimchat Torah in Shabbat. Each class made their veryown creative flags or Torahs.... and brought them to theSanctuary. It was so special and so festive! We startedoff our time in the Sanctuary lighting candles, sayingblessings, and singing Shabbat songs. Then, RabbiPilavin opened the ark and showed the children theTorah. He unrolled the Torah to show them how long itis and that there are words and stories in the Torah. Heexplained that each week we read a story from the Torah.He also explained that on Simchat Torah, the stories areall finished and it's so exciting because we get to startreading the Torah all over again! Following this lesson,

the children got a chance to dance and march around theSanctuary with their flags and stuffed Torahs to fun andfestive music! Ask your child if they kissed the Torah! In addition to celebrating the holidays, thechildren were all "fired up" for Fire Safety Month!! Wewere so excited to have the Gordons Corner FireDepartment come and visit with us! Each class got aspecial fire safety lesson from the firefighters. Welearned about our fire alarms in our house, calling 911,"stop, drop and roll", and to never go back into abuilding that is on fire. The children were so excited totouch the firefighters hat and uniform. Following thelesson, they had the opportunity to climb on the firetruck...it was so much fun!! In honor of breast cancer awareness, we hosted a“Think Pink” day. Everyone wore pink and we did somany awesome pink activities. Thank you to all thewonderful volunteers who came out to help andparticipate! It was such a great day for such a greatcause! We are looking forward to our Havdallah UnderThe Stars Program, together with SAJE. Save the date for this beautiful family event….Saturday, November 23, 2019 at 6:15pm


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Congregation Sons of Israel is selling honors & memories!!We now have a program in which you can purchase trees for Israel.

The cost will be $ 18 per tree

TO: Ruth PerlmanFor a speedy recovery to good healthFROM: Barbara & Maurice Zagha

TO: Sharon SpitalIn memory of your beloved father, Stanley

DworkinFROM: Barbara & Maurice Zagha

TO: Hal Bluzer and FamilyIn memory of your beloved mother, Esther

BluzerFROM: Barbara & Maurice Zagha

TO: Danielle & Scott BuxbaumIn memory of your beloved grandmother,

Phyllis SachsFROM: Alyssa & Ari Schneider


FROM THE EXECUTIVEFROM THE EXECUTIVEDIRECTOR’S VIEWPOINTDIRECTOR’S VIEWPOINT

By Vic Schioppo

While entering the Shul on Yom Kippur morning, I ran into a fellow congregant who I knowquite well. After the usual morning greetings, he stated to me that Yom Kippur is his favorite

day of the year. I immediately thought that it was because he would have a chance to reflect andpray on this special day, or perhaps he would be there for Yizkor, or just have the opportunity tomeet with fellow congregants that he does not see frequently. So when I asked him why YomKippur his favorite day of the year, he immediately stated to me that it was ‘The Afternoon Nap’.I said, “the what?” He replied, “Yes, the nap”. He stated that he works 50 to 60 hours a week allyear long and the fact that he would have on this day the opportunity ‘to nap’ brought him so muchjoy.

As a retired executive for the last five years, I have come to know the beauty and value of‘The Afternoon Nap’. Mind you, when I first retired, my body and brain continued to function inthe 6 AM to 8 PM work and commute mode. For about three months, I continued to operate like‘a rat on speed’ as I looked for things to keep me busy all day long. I took on any project at home,looked for hobbies that I thought I would like, and even enjoyed going to ShopRite with my wife.Then a fellow retiree asked me how I liked ‘the nap’. I answered, “What Nap”? He explained, andafter his indoctrination, I immediately began to enjoy (and still do, to this day), a nap on manyweekday afternoons.

It is a marvelous experience. As you lie back in your lounge chair, you close your eyes, turnoff your phone, ignore the robo-calls and doorbells ringing, and shut out the world for an hour ortwo. It’s a solid recharging of your mind, body, and spirit. This time belongs to you and you alone!I am sure that all of my fellow retirees agree with me. But for those of you yet to obtain this statusin life, make sure that you put on your ‘bucket list’, “The Afternoon Nap”. Of course, there is anadded attraction on Yom Kippur; you get to ignore the hunger pangs for two hours! Enjoy!

RITUAL NEWS

The end of Daylight Savings Time (on Sunday morning November 3) will affect times forservices. With the exception of Friday November 1 (5:30 PM), Friday night services will be at 4:15PM (November 8-15-22-29) and throughout December.

Beginning November 9, Shabbat (Saturday) afternoon services will take place immediatelyafter Kiddush (12:15 PM) throughout November and December.

Morning minyan on Thanksgiving Day (Thursday November 28) will be at 8:30 AM. Thatday will coincide with Rosh Chodesh!


study of a page of Talmud. This is the culmination ofone hour of daily study for 2,711 consecutive days. Iurged all assembled to dedicate one weekly hour ofstudy in honor of the daily hour of study associated withthe Siyum Hashas. KOL NIDREI. We often blame others for whathappens to us. Maimonides argues that we all have freewill to be as good as we choose. Psychologist JordanPeterson spoke of the childhood illnesses of hisdaughter Mikhaila. He urged her not to see herself as avictim. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks was moved by thisapproach; it helped him understand the resilience ofmany Holocaust survivors. In any situation we can lookback and ask: “Why did this happen?” or look forwardand ask: What then shall I do?” We can regret the past,but we can’t change it. Yet we can change the future. Peterson’s daughter and Holocaust survivorsrepresent the triumph of choice over fate. If much isbeyond our control, we should work on whatever iswithin our control. We noted how much time is spent on sports, politicsand entertainment rather than on religion. Whichactivities give the best “return” for our investment?Prayer teaches us how to be grateful and helps us avoida “victim mentality.” Un-plugging for Shabbat (noradio, phone, computer) allows for leisurely meals andquality conversations with family and friends. Study ofTorah texts spurs our personal and intellectual growth.

Too often we seek to “change the world” eventhough our own house is not in order. Yom Kippurreminds us that real change starts from the inside andradiates out. YIZKOR. I came across E.B. White’s Charlotte’sWeb 55 years after it became the first book that made mecry. I re-read it while marking the 50th yahrzeit ofMaxine’s mother. Though we never met, she raised thewoman with whom I have spent virtually my entireadult life. As such, her influence on me is profound. In E.B. White’s book, Charlotte (a spider) spinswebs that save the life of a pig (Wilbur). Near the end ofher life, she told him why: “You have been my friend.That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs foryou because I liked you. After all, what’s a life,anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die…Byhelping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life atrifle. Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little ofthat.” Charlotte teaches us that we enlarge our lives bydoing acts of lovingkindness, acts that will beremembered long after we’re gone. E.B. White explained Wilbur’s grief for Charlotte asI was grieving my grandmother. Though we never met,he was an important mentor at a critical time. Yizkor need not be just about our immediate“circle.” It’s also about acknowledging that we oftenowe a great debt to people we have never met.

Rabbi, continued from page 3

mazel tovmazel tovElyce & Larry Arenson on the marriage of

their son, Gregg, to Stacy LessenLynne & Ira Marshall on the engagement of

their son, Adam Weiss, to Jessica May

CondolencesCondolencesHal Bluzer on the loss of his beloved mother,

Esther BluzerThe family of Aaron Harmon on the loss of

our beloved member

new membersnew membersRichard Goldstein & Nadine Bennett


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NovemberNovember BirthdaysBirthdays1stSaul SpitalArthur Friedman2ndDavid Raanan3rdSaul ZissToni MoskovitzAllan DolmanSamantha Rosen5thAmanda Richter7thFrieda Schwartz8thMichelle OffseyJeffrey Yigdal9thLarry Godel10thYitzhak GoldsteinJack LinderAsher Kantor

Michael LebowitzAbraham LevineRena Brenman11thRena ToubinMichael Peller12thPaisley LillianthalBeth Cohen13thSydney SchillerChloe SchillerNorman Tulgan14thIsaac KatzPauline Froster16thGeorge ThalerJo Freud18thElyce Arenson19thStephen Kurzer

Neal Fisher21stRuth LevineHerman Weiner23rdRichard BaumHenry BraunHarold Solat25thSusan FeinsteinPhyllis Heumann26thJeremy WeinsteinLinda Rubin28thJeff Erdman29thJan LillianthalFred Mosesman30thRebecca IsaacsonJoel Krinsky

2ndAllan & Phyllis KatzHarvey & Judy HorowitzMitch & Arlene Lustgarten4thAlex & Peggy CohenRichard & Elaine Stern7thSam & Laurie Landy14thJoel & Monica Braun

16thKeith & Rochelle Epstein18thStewart & Sunny Schwartz21stGeorge & Ellen BennetLarry & Vickie Amron23rdMark & Julie GinsbergJeffrey & Natalie Levine

25thGary & Susan Finkelstein26thAlvin & Charlotte RubinBill & Karen Moskowitz27thHoward & Teri MuchaAbe & Ruth Levine29thIrv & Shirley CampMitch & Rena Brenman

NovemberNovember AnniversariesAnniversaries


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From My PerchBy Maxine Pilavin

Respect Is Still In

I recently walked into a classroom in the Jewish day school where I teach; I needed todeliver something to the teacher. I entered quietly, hoping to be unobtrusive—he was in themiddle of teaching—but the students noticed me and stood up. This deference surprised me. Iam only a teacher, not an administrator. Then another teacher told me the same thinghappened to her. Apparently, the rabbis in the school had told the students that Jewish lawrequires standing whenever a teacher—any teacher—walks into a room.

Thinking back to my student days in yeshiva high school, I recalled being uncomfortablewith this protocol. Standing was expected whenever an administrator walked into the room.However, I wasn’t partial to my principal. He carried an air of distance and superiority abouthim I found distasteful. So whenever he walked into the room, I did not stand, hoping that he,and my classmates, wouldn’t notice.

More recently, my husband and I discussed this issue in a different context. My husbandwas appalled when, at a State of the Union address, some presidential opponents refused to risewhen the President entered. I asked my husband if he would rise for a president whom heopposed. He said he would. The honor, he maintained, is due the office, not necessarily theperson who represents it. Therefore, he would stand without hesitation. While this is not aneasy emotional distinction to make, I understood its importance.

Maimonides says: “Just as a person is commanded to honor his father and hold him inawe, so too is he obligated to honor his teacher and hold him in awe… There is no greater honorthan that due a teacher… Our Sages declared: ‘Your fear of your teacher should be equivalentto your fear of Heaven.’” (Mishneh Torah - Laws of Talmud Torah 5:1) Today, when lack ofrespect, civility, and restraint in speaking about others has become the norm on television andsocial media, Maimonides’ words seem more relevant than ever.

Although I am uncomfortable with students rising when I walk into a room, I recognizethat it is important. If we do not teach children respect, how will they learn it? As a teenager,I was too immature to distinguish between my feelings for my principal and my respect for hisposition. As a teacher, I have to expect that my students will learn this distinction.

Following my experience walking into the teacher’s classroom, I rememberedsomething. I had once taught that same class of students, and there was one student who hadbeen more of a challenge than the others. He was outspoken and confrontational. He would cryand accuse me of not explaining material to him even though I had patiently provided himseveral explanations. I was sure that he despised me. Yet that day when I walked into the room,he was the first one to stand.

While I probably will never be comfortable when anyone stands as I enter a room, I nowappreciate the significance of this gesture. We can show respect even for those with whom wedisagree. It is respect for authority, and it is an uncommon phenomenon these days. Yet it is soimportant. Respect. Thank you to the rabbis at my school for keeping it posh.


We are looking for more members. Please join us!


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RABBI’S DISCRETIONARY FUNDToni & Stu Moskovitz in memory of Bluma EllisThe Bluzer family to thank Rabbi Pilavin for his

kindnessSharon & Moshe Benous Ted Millstein in memory of his parents Joan &

David Gabbay Gerald Barad in memory of Evelyn BaradCheryl & Steve Nessenson in memory of Alvin

NessensonRhoda & Emanuel Chodosh in memory of Sarah

IsenbergRhoda & Emanuel Chodosh in memory of Solomon

IsenbergMarsha & Richard Reimer in memory of Stuart

ReimerMarsha & Richard Reimer in memory of Esther

MeltzerSteven Zalewitz in memory of Harry ZalewitzAaron Harmon in memory of Moe KloresSally & Alvin Green in memory of Louis Hornstein

BIKUR CHOLIM FUNDThe Bluzer family to commemorate the 50th yahrzeit

of Anne FishbeinJodi Jacobs in memory of father Stanley DworkinEdie Seligman & family to commemorate the 30th

yahrzeit of Paul HaysSandy & Ron Leiser in memory of Edith Leiser

CEMETERY FUNDElaine & Richard Goldberg in memory of Sherry

SladeJacqueline & S. David Cohen in memory of Estelle

Dorin

HEBREW SCHOOL FUNDMichele & Jeff Lejfer in honor of Sharon & Vic

SchioppoMichele & Jeff Lejfer in memory of Dora RosinskyMichele & Jeff Lejfer in honor of receiving an aliyah

on Rosh Hashanah

Michele & Jeff Lejfer in honor of Mia Rose Lejfer's baby naming

Michele & Jeff Lejfer in honor of Mayer Brandwein & his davening at their granddaughter's baby naming

HOLOCAUST FUNDAnita Raboi in memory of Alex SchecterBarbara & Bruce Forman & family in memory of

Stanley DworkinEdith & Fred Mosesman & family in memory of

Stanley DworkinGenia Litwok in memory of Nathan LitwokMichael Morris in memory of Marcus MorrisMichael Morris in memory of Sophie MorrisGladys Reinisch in memory of Jerome ReinischPhilip Gaines in memory of Sylvia GainesGertrude Indig in memory of Martha & Edward

Spencer, and Moses IndigShelley & Larry Finkelstein in honor of Michael

WeitzCarol & Marshall Sigman in memory of Morris

Gross

KIDDUSH FUNDJack Schier in memory of Hyman Schier

NURSERY SCHOOL FUNDJackie Weilheimer in memory of Stanley DworkinJackie Weilheimer in memory of Jason Polner's

fatherBob Levine in memory of Gertrude Fleischman

PRAYER BOOK FUNDElyce & Larry Arenson in memory of Raymond

Arenson

SANCTUARY FUNDCheryl Herbst in memory of Leo Gerber

SOUP AND SMILESShelley & Larry Finkelstein & family in honor of the

naming of Avery Seligman

donationsdonationsYour dues make up only a small part of our synogogue’s total income. We rely upon

your generous contributions and we thank the following for their tzedekah to our congregation.

Donations, continued on page 27


GENERAL DONATIONSMinnie & Jeff Burns in honor of the birth of Eliana

Brielle SalwenNurit & Steve Litwok in honor of the birth of Sloane

Reese VoletNurit & Steve Litwok in memory of Bluma EllisLaurie & Sam Landy in memory of Bluma EllisNancy & John Wong & family in memory of father

Stanley DworkinThe Biblow family in memory of father Stanley

DworkinRose & Robert Pasternak in memory of father

Stanley DworkinNurit & Steve Litwok in memory of father Stanley

DworkinNurit & Steve Litwok in memory of Bluma EllisHarold Cohen in memory of Betty RosenblumRonald Berman in memory of Benjamin BermanNancy & Yitzhak Goldstein in memory of Chava

SchwartzNancy & Yitzhak Goldstein in memory of Joseph

SchwartzNancy & Yitzhak Goldstein in memory of Netti

Schwartz

Nancy & Yitzhak Goldstein in memory of Miriam Kohn

Nancy & Yitzhak Goldstein in memory of Elimelech Faden

Nancy & Yitzhak Goldstein in memory of Zosha Schwartz

Nancy & Yitzhak Goldstein in memory of Nunio Schwartz

Nancy & Yitzhak Goldstein in memory of Mona Scalfani

Ruth & Abe Levine in honor of receiving an aliyahGail & Stuart Rizick in honor of receiving an aliyahRochelle & Keith Epstein for receiving honors on

Rosh HashanahPhyllis & Ralph Heumann Barbara & Harold Sugarman Donna & David Binder in honor of Hy Siegel

receiving an aliyahPhyllis Dominik Shelley & Larry Finkelstein & family to

commemorate the 30th yahrzeit of their beloved Paul Hays

Sharon & Bernard Gitlitz

Donations, continued from page 26

E

Is your husband, son, father, grandfather, or any other special man in your life deserving of special recognition? If your answer is yes, as well it should be, there is a way for you to honor that special man or men, iraising activities.

As you may have noticed, one wall in our synagogue lobby is

honor the man, or men, in your life by placing his name on what, we hope, will be a growing list. The cost for the brass plaque is $150 for a lifetime of honor.

f ways since its inception 35 years ago. During that time, we have contributed over $100,000 to the Synagogue for capital improvements. In addition, we have donated over $50,000 to Jewish and other charities and have provided ongoing financial assistance to youth activities.

please call the synagogue office or Michael Katz @732-792-1096.


Our goal is to help you pursue yours.It’s that simple. Your goals are what really matter. That’s why we’ll take the time to understand what’s most important to you: your family, your work, your hopes and dreams. Then we can help you get ready for the future with a financial strategy that’s designed just for you.

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In spite of the downpour on Chol HaMoed Wednesday, SAJE students met RabbiPilavin at the door to the sukkah where the Rabbi and Morah Monica guided thestudents in the mitzvah of shaking the lulav.

- Chaya Friedmann


NOVEMBERNOVEMBER YYahrzeit listahrzeit listNovember 1 3 CheshvanRifka Warech great grandmother of Nancy GoldsteinMoshe Warech great grandfather of Nancy GoldsteinEstelle Mucha mother of Howard MuchaNovember 2 4 CheshvanHarold Singer father of Esther VoletAbraham Leight father-in-law of Louise LeightHenry Schwartz brother-in-law of Irma SchwartzHarold Singer father of Rena ToubinManny Binder father of David BinderSolomon Baum grandfather of Harlean EnisNovember 3 5 CheshvanRuth Kleinberg mother of Myrna KleinmanSarah Kivel grandmother of Roberta ThalerThelma Fuchs mother of Susan FinkelsteinHelen Berns mother of Larry FinkelsteinNovember 4 6 CheshvanHershel Klein uncle of Saul SpitalSarah Levy mother-in-law of Steven EllisHarry Cohen father of Alex CohenNovember 7 9 CheshvanBessie Afsanick mother of Shirley WoldNovember 8 10 CheshvanPhilip Caplan father of Hannah WienerPhilip Schultz father of Marsha GarberNovember 10 12 CheshvanHenry Liebman uncle of Michele SacksIsidore Gerber father of Carol GoldsteinLouis Hornstein father of Sally GreenNovember 12 14 CheshvanGussie Flax grandmother of Roberta LevineRaymond Arenson father of Lawrence ArensonAbe Stern father of Steven SternNovember 13 15 CheshvanRachel Solk grandmother of H. Raymond SolkNovember 14 16 CheshvanFrieda Freed relative of Charles JaslowNovember 15 17 CheshvanIda Slade mother of Elaine GoldbergIda Slade mother of Dee SladeSolomon Fassman father of Donna FassmanMoe Klores father-in-law of Aaron Harmon

November 16 18 CheshvanEugene Kutten relative of Aileen MinchelloMolly Friedman aunt of Merrill JaslowAbe Rosenblum father-in-law of Harold CohenTillie Finkelstein mother of Gary FinkelsteinNovember 17 19 CheshvanSamuel Haimowitz father of Henry HaimowitzRebecca Levinson grandmother of Sharon HarrisonEugene Thaler father of George ThalerNovember 18 20 CheshvanHarold Garber father of Arnold GarberNovember 19 21 CheshvanPauline Kivel mother of Roberta ThalerKate Kersen mother of Ilene KornblumHarry Berg grandfather of Keith EpsteinNovember 20 22 CheshvanSimon Epstein grandfather of Sandy LeiserDavid Davies father of Gladys HalperBessie Bell mother-in-law of Lillian BellEthel Tamres mother of Barbara KleinNovember 21 23 CheshvanSol Steckman uncle of Shelley FinkelsteinNovember 22 24 CheshvanBernard Tulgan father of Norman TulganIrma Matlow mother of Ira MatlowNovember 23 25 CheshvanRudy Fuchs father of Susan FinkelsteinRae Tulchiner mother of Judith HorowitzNovember 24 26 CheshvanSam Roth father of Rochelle EpsteinMorris Gross father of Carol SigmanNovember 25 27 CheshvanBernard Zelinger father of Ilene ResnickDonna Satuloff sister of Ruth LevineNovember 26 28 CheshvanHenry Schoen father of Joyce CohenNovember 27 29 CheshvanWilliam Siminoff father of Ellen GasiorNovember 29 1 KislevSam Silver grandfather of Mindy FrommNovember 30 2 KislevTema Feintuck mother of Lawrence FeintuckRachel Vidro mother of Louise Leight


CONGREGATION SONS OF ISRAEL ADULT EDUCATION: FALL 2019 (5780)What follows is a list of seven courses slated to begin in early November. All but one are offered on weekdaysat 7:30 PM. One is offered on Wednesdays 10:00-11:30 AM. After this first round, only the four most popularcourses will continue through fall 2019.

ISRAEL AND ZIONISMZionism is the answer – but do we know the question? Do we have enough background information to makethe case for Israel to family and friends? Do we feel confident in defending Israel against her unprincipledcritics?We will explore the idea of a Jewish homeland through writings of famous Zionist thinkers. We will mark the60th anniversary of Dr. Arthur Hertzberg’s classic anthology, The Zionist Idea: A Historical Analysis andReader. Opening session: Monday, November 4 at 7:30 PM.In the beginning - when all Zionists were religious: The lives and thoughts of Rabbis Yehudah Alkalai (1798)and Zvi Hirsch Kalischer (1795-1874)

HEIMISH JUDAISM – BEING JEWISH AT HOME AND AT THE OFFICELearn how to be a Jew during the 99% of our day when we’re not in shul! We will review the calendar, lifecycle events, daily/Shabbat protocols, and the Judaic attitudes towards (kosher) food , intimacy and generalethics. All participants will receive a free copy of Rabbi Hayim Halevy Donin’s classic To Be A Jew – endorsedby Reform, Conservative & Orthodox rabbis. Opening session: Tuesday, November 5 at 7:30 PM.Denominational Judaism(s): Are They Ever In Agreement?

WHAT MUST A JEW BELIEVE? THE ESSENTIAL PRINCIPLES OF MAIMONIDES13 articles of faith: God is, is One, has no form, is eternal & Him alone do we worship); prophecy in general &Moses as the prophet, the Torah is Divine & immutable, God knows our deeds, Reward & Punishment, theMessiah, Resurrection of the Dead.Opening session: Thursday, November 7 at 7:30 PMWhat does Judaism say about dogmas and the “non-believer?”PRAYER AND THE PRAY-ERWe will review the geography and contents of the Siddur (prayerbook) as well as “philosophy of prayer”issues: Does God hear prayer? Does God need our praise? Prayer requests: may we make deals with God?Opening session: Monday, November 11 at 7:30 PMThe Berakhah (Blessing) – Decoding the Siddur’s spiritual “one-liners.”

TALMUD: HONORING THE UPCOMING “SIYYUM HA-SHAS”On January 1, World Jewry marks an intellectual milestone – the completion of the study cycle of a daily foliopage of Talmud. We will explore the contents of the Six Orders of the Talmud to appreciate this 7 ½-year Torahstudy achievement.Opening Session: Tuesday, November 12 at 7:30 PMThe Talmud and the Timeline of Jewish Law and Tradition

THE 613 MITZVOT (COMMANDMENTS EXPLICIT IN THE TORAH)We will explore selected Torah verses identified as a mitzvah by Tradition. Where possible, we will surveymultiple Talmudic comments to one verse. We will also explore ta’amei ha-mitzvot (rationales for observingmitzvot). Opening session: Thursday, November 12 at 7:30 PM

GENESIS – AS YOU’VE NEVER READ IT BEFOREWe will review the contents of the Torah’s first book utilizing the brand new commentary of Dennis Prager –Genesis: God, Creation, and Destruction. We will examine how the Torah anticipates many contemporarydebates such as Science vs. Religion, Men vs. Women, Dealing, Faith vs. Doubt.Opening Session: Wednesday, November 6, 13, 20 and beyond… 10am at CapriIs the Torah Man-Made or God-Made and why it makes a difference.


The Men’s Club of Congregation Sons of Israel

presents an exciting evening of Hockey at the Prudential Center for Jewish Heritage Night!!!

New Jersey Devils

vs Anaheim Ducks

Date: Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Time: 7:00 PM Price: $45.00 per ticket

Tickets are limited, so reserve early!!!

Reservations & payment must be received by Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Call Michael Katz (732) 792-1096, or drop off this form at the Synagogue office

_______________________________________________

Devils Ticket order form Name:_________________________ Phone_____________ Address:_______________________ Email______________ Number of tickets_____ @ $45.00 =$_______Enclosed

must be received by Friday, November 15, 2019


be a voice boosterbe a voice boosterYou can add your name to the list of boosters by filling out the accompanying coupon and attaching your $18 check.

Be A Voice Booster!

For Only $18 you can support the Sons of Israel Voice.

All contributors will be acknowledged in next month’s issue.

Name: _____________________________________________

Phone #: ___________________________________________

Please return this ad to the

shul office or call 732-446-3000.

VOICE BOOSTERSRenee & Rudy Stanko

Myrna RizickNancy & Bill Berger

Jack SchierEllen & Sheldon GasiorNurit & Steve Litwok


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Congregation Sons of Israel Non-Profit Org.U.S. Postage

PAIDFreehold, NJ

Permit No. 305

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POSTMASTER;DATED MATERIAL

Friday AfternoonNovember 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5:30 P.M.November 8, 15, 22, 29 . . . . . . . . 4:15 P.M.(and throughout December)

Saturday Mornings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9:00 A.M.

Saturday AfternoonNovember 9, 16, 23, 30 . . . . . . . . 12:15 P.M.

Afternoon services will take place immediately afterkiddush throughout November & December.

Sunday . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8:30 A.M.

Weekday Mornings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7:15 A.M.Minyan will be at 8:30 am on Thursday, November 28

Monday-Thursday Evenings . . . . . . . 8:30 P.M.

Please support (at least on a weekly basis) one of our weekdayservices. Morning minyan is at 7:15 AM (Monday-Friday) and8:30 AM (Sunday and legal holidays). Evenings (Monday-Thursday) are at 8:30 PM.

Minyan Times - November

the voice - 10 06...rosh hashanah day #1. the 50th anniversary of the moon landing prompted some...

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