the successful islamic marriage v3
TRANSCRIPT
The Successful
Islamic Marriage
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May 11, 2013
Welcome & Introduction
Hafiz Kawsar Hossain
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Finding a Suitable Partner
Shaykh Abdul Rashid Khan
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Essential Aspects in
Establishing a Home
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Hadith
Spouses are chosen for four aspects
1. Wealth
2. Lineage
3. Beauty
4. Religion
The Righteous Spouse
Looking for religion and good character in a husband
Righteous spouse will help in all walks of life, this word and the hereafter
Important steps to take in finding the righteous spouse
Closing advice, story of the simple marriage of Abu Wada’a (RA) and the daughter of Sa’eed bin Musayyib (RA)
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Fiqh of Marriage, Intimate
Relations & Divorce
Mufti Abudllah Nana
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Fiqh of Marriage
Need to understand the rights of one's spouse
Rights of the husband in light of hadith
Rights of the wife in light of hadith
Islamic teachings of marriage is to go beyond
the basic rights
Prophetic example of marriage
Mutual piety among the couple is the key to
marital bliss
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Fiqh of Intimate Relationships Prophetic approach in openly discussing intimate issues to educate
Do not let shyness get in the way of learning about religion
How should one approach the first night?
Send ambassadors to your wife
What are among the signs of weakness of a man?
Islamic guidelines for intimate relations
a. A sacred secret between the husband and wife
b. The dua for intimate relations
c. Make an intention
d. Do not behave like donkeys!
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Fiqh of Divorce
How is Islamic divorce like a gun with three
bullets?
The balanced approach of Islam towards
divorce between two extremes
The most detestable of all permissible actions
Giving the right of divorce to the wife
What to do when marriage breaks down?
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Conclusion
Umm Dardaa's parting request to her
husband while on his deathbed
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Break & Snacks
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Incorrect Customs & Beliefs of
Marriage
Mufti Nawaz Khan
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8 Incorrect Beliefs & Customs
Who should send the proposal of marriage
Getting married is too expensive and I cannot afford it
Expenses incurred during marriage
Mahr and dowry
Jaheaz
Mehendi, Manja, and other Un-Islamic customs and
rituals
Marriage in certain months and days
Dealing with in laws, a burden or blessing?
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Conclusion
Simplicity is the key
Blessed and simple lives of the Prophet’s
(SAW) companions
The incident of Abu Darda and Salman Al
Farisi (RA)
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Marital Problems & Counseling
Dr. Rajab Ali
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Resistance to Counseling
Muslim Americans (immigrants in
particular) come from a closed society
What happens in the house is not to
be discussed with strangers
Such attitudes generate resistance to counseling
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Misconceptions About
Counseling
Myth of counseling
It is not Islamic, it is an American practice
Entire community will know about it
It costs money
The counselor will force me to take action
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Islamic Basis for Counseling
Counseling in Quran and Sunnah
Parable of a good word (14 : 24-27)
Hadith “A good word is charity”
Hadith about 3 levels of correcting a
wrong
Husband and wife are to live in harmony
and respect (30 :21)
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Appropriate Time for
Counseling
When to leverage counseling?
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Asr Prayer
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The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his
progeny) said: “The first thing that Allah made
obligatory upon my Ummah was the five prayers; and
the first thing from their acts of worship that shall be
taken up will be the five prayers; and the first thing
that they will be questioned about will be the five
prayers.”
Kanzul `Ummal, Volume 7, Tradition 18859
Darus Suffah Vision
Shaykh Samir Ali
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Our Goal
Darus Suffah is YOUR organization
Hadith of the Prophet (SAW)
Cater to the needs of each and every individual
Learn, practice and propagate the Knowledge of Deen
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Preservation of Religious
Knowledge
Allah (SWT) sends messenger and their
representatives
The scripture is revealed in totality and the
ahkaam are taught
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Preservation of Religious
Knowledge Cont’d
That group holds on to it, and passes it on
(virtue of Khayrul Quroon)
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Seeking Religious Knowledge
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Our Special Institution &
Scholars
Provide an environment and platform for
the younger generation
Ayah from the Quran
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Hifz Program & It’s Benefits
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Other Programs & Services
Aalim course and it’s benefits
Workshops, general learning and it’s
importance
Makaatib – practical example
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Dinner
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Maghrib Prayer
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The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his
progeny) has said: “The prayer of a person is (in reality)
a light in his heart, so whoever desires, can illuminate
his heart (by means of prayers).”
Kanzul `Ummal, Volume7, Tradition 18973
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The Spiritual Aspects of
Marriage
Shaykh Tameem Ahmadi
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Married Life of the Prophet
(SAW)
The Prophet (SAW) was a role model and
an exemplar for us in all aspects of life
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His (SAW) Character was the
Qur’an
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4 Rules for a Successful
MarriageDr. Willard F. Harley, author of the international best seller, His Needs, Her Needs: Building and Affair Proof Marriage, which has sold over three million copies and is available in twenty-two foreign translations, writes:
“Almost all social rules and laws are made to help people consider the feelings of others. They are not needed when people feel like being considerate; they are needed when people are tempted to be thoughtless.
A speed limit is a good example. For those who drive safely, the speed laws are not necessary. It's only for those who are tempted to travel at a speed that endangers the lives of others that we need to enforce a limit.”
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Rule 1: The Rule of Care
Meet your spouse’s most important
emotional needs
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Rule 2: The Rule of Protection
Avoid being the cause of your spouse's
unhappiness
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Rule 3: The Rule of Honesty
Reveal to your spouse as much
information about yourself as you know;
your
thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, per
sonal history, daily activities, and plans for
the future
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Rule 4: The Rule of Time
Take time to give your spouse your
undivided attention
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Prophet’s (SAW) Conduct &
Example
Imitate the Prophet in his conduct and
follow his example
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Closing Remarks
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Isha Prayer
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Imam As-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “The
first thing for which a person shall be subjected to
reckoning is prayers. If they are accepted, all his other
deeds shall (also) be accepted. But if rejected, all his
other deeds shall (also) be rejected.”
Wasa’ilush Shi`a, Volume 3, Page 22
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