the story of the bus
TRANSCRIPT
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you know you’ve made it when you graduate from bus rides to flights.
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unfortunately, i’m not quite there yet.
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i’m the exact opposite of a jet setter.
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i’m a bus bum.just like this sleeping beauty.
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i spent hours on a bus this month.
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i live in nyc,but i’m a virginia girl at heart.
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and every few weeks, (after listening to a little too much john denver)
i get the itch to go back to the place
where i belong.
[not west] virginia, mountain momma
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but traveling ain’t cheap
for those of us living on pipe dreams and string beans
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that’s where the beauty of the bus comes in.
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One plane ticket to Virginia = four bus tickets to virginia
sounds like a good deal right?
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one bus ticket = five-six hours of pure regret
what they don’t tell you:
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AND YOU’VE NOW MET EVERY PERSON I’VE EVER SAT NEXT TO ON THE BUS.
imagine YOUR DREAM BUS BUDDY
now picture their opposite
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the hair twirler
twelve twirls per minute
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the ‘omg’ girl
my soul died before her blackberry battery.
one ‘omg’ to every five ‘likes’
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the peanut bladder in the window seat
three pokes on the shoulder per hour
poke. poke. poke.poke. poke. poke.poke. poke. poke.poke. poke. poke.poke. poke. poke.
five hours
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the cheap ear bud guy
two old EMINEM ALBUMS
ON REPEAT.
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the SOUP MAN
TWO SPILLS AND LOTS OF SLURP, SLURP, SLURPING
CHICKEN NOODLE >TOMATO
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??????????????????????????????THE QUESTION LADY
ONE QUICK QUESTION. FOLLOWED BY ONE MORE QUESTION. OH AND ONE MORE. AND LAST ONE.
OH, I FORGOT TO ASK ONE LAST LAST THING.
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BY THE TIME YOU GET OFF THE BUS,YOU ARE SO PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED
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FROM THE OVERSTIMULATION OF
BEING SURROUNDED BY CRAZIES
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THAT YOU FORGET EVERYTHING
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AND THUS CONTINUE TO REPEAT THE CYCLE
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OF A BUS BUM.