Issue 3 Q1 2009 Kineton Edition

This is the third edition of the SINK and a lot have changed around us since last time…

We, (Semcon as the whole) are as any companies been made aware about the global and not least the automotive situation, with huge decreases in sales in a very short time. Even though Semcon, (and we will face our burden), still is a strong company we will focus on what we are good at and at the same time we are open for new opportunities.

Our relation and business situation with JLR is still strong and let us continue our efforts to provide professional, timely and high quality products to them.

We have also (at last??!) got a number of new customers to Kineton, thanks to our new colleagues from SIGS!

Hopefully they feel welcome into the environment of “upstairs office unit 8” facing new colleagues and a “different”environment.

One thing that I have observed is the improved communication between the teams creating illustrations and the authoring teams. Thanks for that!!

From my perspective the move up to Kineton from Willow Barn in Oxford has gone very smoothly (thanks to all involved for your efforts) and we also hopefully will see more business coming along.

And we from Kineton!, we still struggle to get new customers, but we are trying, you should know!!

With that, I wish you all the best in the daily struggle!!

And enjoy the spring; I do every week when I come over!

KINETON NEWS

The Swan Hotel

Update!

In the last edition of The Sink, we brought you the news that the sign in the window of The Swan Hotel stating “Closed until further notice” had been removed.

Although the spokesman said: “We’re still closed until further notice…the sign must have just fallen off!”, as yet it has not yet been put back up!

Conspiracy theories are running wild around the village to what could have happened to the sign.

We hope to be able to report more in the next edition of The Sink.

Right! That headline got your attention! Here’s a tenuous link…

Did you know that the well-known Christian hymn “Amazing Grace” was written in Kineton by poet John Newton in 1772?

The song has been recorded many times by artists such as; Judy Collins, Aretha Franklin and even Kylie Minogue!

Project work this quarter has mainly revolved around 10MY vehicles for both Jaguar and Land Rover.

While the Jaguar work has run fairly smoothly the Land Rover work has proved a tad challenging. Nevertheless we are told that all the information we require to complete the project is located in a magic cave guarded by a mythical God sat astride a unicorn….

Meanwhile back in the office we are glad to welcome the SIGS team. As an aid to recognition the D&O and training team recently had their photo’s taken in an effort to help the new members of the team put names to faces.

A motley bunch I agree…

On a serious note, the efforts of the team have been superb when faced with some difficult challenges. The results produced have been brilliant and have made a substantial impact on the latest JD Powers quality survey that saw Jaguar consolidate second place in the table and Land Rover move up a massive 21 places to seventh.

Article by Mark Wills (Bad Boss)D&O and Training

Ian Grigg Andy Whitehead Franco Simonetti Steve Hayes Roger Oliver

Pete Boyles Steve Steadman Mike Grafton Keith Frendo

As you may remember from the last issue of The Sink just before Christmas, The SIGS team were to relocate to Kineton.

Well, I’m please to report that everyone is settling in quite nicely into their new surroundings. Thank you for making our new colleagues feel so welcome, and to those who joined us for a welcome drink at the Malt Shovel in February.

As I’m sure you can appreciate, I am on a very steep learning curve to understand the business and all the customers that we have on the SIGS client list. SIGS have a very different business model to the one we have in Kineton, so there is a lot to learn.

I must say a big thank-you to the SIGS team in helping me get to grips with the new role. I have inherited a great team and I am confident we have the right people on board to make this business succeed in our new location.

If you want to put names to the ‘new’ faces, go to About Us > Profiles on the SIGS website:

www.semcon-igs.co.uk.

Not only did the journalist say that the handbook was ‘joyously free of gobbledegook’, he also went on to say that it was ‘worthy of a Plain English Campaign kitemark’.

From an owner’s literature point of view, we are still waxing lyrical about the Jaguar XF review in February’s CAR magazine, which gave the handbook as good a review (if not better) than the car itself!

A huge pat on the back goes to the authoring and illustrating team, especially to Alex Macklow, who was the lead author on the project. It isn’t very often that the handbook is read, let alone photographed for a glossy magazine! Well done guys!

The handbook restructuring project, which is well underway now, is taking great shape. The team have managed to exceed the target I set them of reducing the page count from 360 to 200 pages, and a new HTML version is being used to review the content (instead of marking up the clunky old pdf files). Huge thanks to all, especially George, for making this happen.

Not everything in the garden is rosy however…The ongoing saga with L322 and T5 10 MY vehicles has been a thorn in the side – so I won’t even go there!

A big thank-you to the ever-increasing team and have a good Easter break everyone!

CHRISTMASTURKEY!Did you hear the one about the Semcon manager who bought a fresh turkey for Christmas with a ‘Use By’date of 23rd December?

To save him from embarrassment, wehave changed hisname in thefollowingstory.

The manager, let’s call him Marcus Willis, thought he’d bagged yet another bargain, but was thrown into a flap when he spotted his mistake.Marcus did what all good managers do when it times of crisis – he phoned his Mum!

Following his mother’s advice, he decided to freeze it! He could have bought a frozen turkey for half the price of the “bargain” fresh turkey, but hadn’t realised that all that glitters isn’t necessarily gold.

A family spokeswoman…let’s call her Sarah…said “It’s bloody typical – he squeaks when he walks that one!”“This is the same man whose recent fiancé's finger has gone all green”…say no more.

You may remember from the last edition of the SINK that Neil Carey scared the life out of one colleague, who was off work sick, by staring back at him through the television!

…..Well, he’s at it again!

… Just when you thought it was safe to switch on daytime TV… PART II

This time it was another colleague who spotted him whilst nursing a fever. “It frightened the life out of me” the startled employee exclaimed. “He’s on the telly more than John Barrowman!”

The moral of this story is….Don’t be sick!…Neil’s watching you!

At the time of going to press, Neil Carey –Manager of PDS&T had his holiday ‘hat’ on in sunny Disneyworld.

So sorry – no update for this edition, I’m afraid. Watch out for an extra-special update next time! (no pressure Neil!)

Congratulations to Steve Mellin for his winning entry for January’s Photographic Competition.

The competition, which had the subject title “Christmas lights” was won by Steve’s entry entitled “Liseberg”.

Second place was this by Pete Boyles…

And third place went to Phil’s comedy entry!

Due to a poor response to the March competition, it has been extended until the end of April. The topic is “Spring”and entries are now starting to flood in.

Please ensure your entry is mailed to Steve Mellin by 28th

April.

Normal rules apply.

Good luck!

PHOTOGRAPHCOMPETITION

Mark Hardy, Manager – Workshop Methods and Repair Times

I’ve just been looking and the last version of the SINK and it’s surprising to see how much has changed since the last edition.

We’ve had some changes within the team since the last edition. Anthony has left the team and he’s been replaced by Gavin. Gavin is a great edition to the team and I’m pleased to have his experience and knowledge, even if I can’t understand that Welsh ascent sometimes. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!Keith has moved over to the D&O and training area on secondment and he seems to be enjoying the new challenges he faces. Gordon will also be supporting the GTR team while Kerrie is on maternity leave.

I’m pleased to say that at last we have delivered the X150 10MY project and we are 99% complete on X250 10MY. Our focus will now turn to L322 and T5 10MY and the challenges they will bring. In the background we are still working on X351.

I’m also pleased to announce that we have actually had two cars rebuilt and driven out of unit 8 workshop…….This is excellent news as it means we won’t have to rely on transporters collecting vehicles and “restyling” the brick wall of unit 8 for us.

Over in unit 7, the team have also been very busy. Pete, Chris and Richard have been busy developing and delivering various TSB related items. Again, 2009 looks like a very busy year for the team.

Phil is working hard on TVM and so far in 2009. He is ahead of the YTD target by £83,000. Well done Phil, keep up the good work.

Kev has done an excellent job dealing with the variety of change requests and request for reviews that the dealers are submitting. Again, in 2009 there’s no let up in the requests that we are receiving.

And last but by no means least, the downstairs office door in unit 7 has now been fixed and it’s nice to hear that “audible click” each time the door is opened.

Keep up the good work guys.

Paul tried to write his article from his castaway retreat – but found it difficult to deliver…

Anyway – from what I know, there are plenty of changes in the Diagnostics team, both here in Kineton and in Whitley.

Following his extended diving trip, Dan Sandham is back and is now looking after the release of the software.

Other personnel changes include the departure of Barrie Palmer. Barrie has moved to Spain looking after holiday lets…

Do we get a Semcon discount….? (Ed)

Congratulations to Mike Grafton who came up with the winning caption for the photograph below.

“Not to be outdone by good-boss Mellin, with his teams’ trip to Wembley; bad-boss Wills, treats his team to a trip to the seaside.”Thanks to all of you who sent in a caption…better luck this time.

Here is your new photo requiring a caption:

As before, please send your entries via e-mail to Steve Mellin, with ‘Caption Competition’ in the subject window of your mail.

Thank you.

COMPETITIONCORNER

1. Away in a Manger2. All I want For Christmas Is You3. A Spaceman Came Travelling4. Blue Christmas5. Christmas Time (Don’t Let The Bells End)6. Ding Dong Merrily On High7. Do They Know It's Christmas?8. Fairytale of New York9. Frosty The Snowman10. Good King Wenceslas11. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen12. Hark The Herald Angels Sing13. Happy Christmas (War Is Over)14. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas15. I Believe In Father Christmas16. It Came Upon A Midnight Clear17. I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus18. I Saw Three Ships19. In The Bleak Mid Winter20. I’m Walking Backwards For Christmas21. Jingle Bells22. Joy To The World23. Last Christmas24. Little Donkey25. Let It Snow Let It Snow Let It Snow

26. Little Saint Nick27. Lonely This Christmas28. Mistletoe and Wine29. Marys Boy Child30. Merry Christmas Everyone31. Merry Xmas Everybody32. Oh Come All Ye Faithful33. Once In Royal David's City34. Oh Little Town Of Bethlehem35. Rocking Around The Christmas Tree36. Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer37. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town38. Step Into Christmas39. Silent Night40. The Christmas Song41. The First Noel42. The Holly And The Ivy43. The Little Drummer Boy44. The Twelve Days Of Christmas45. When A Child Is Born46. White Christmas47. Wonderful Christmas Time48. Walking In The Air49. Winter Wonderland50. We Wish You A Merry Christmas

From the last edition of the SINK, here are the answers to the Christmas song acronym quiz:

CHRISTMAS SONG QUIZ ANSWERSIf you have any submissions for THE

SINK, please email them to Steve Mellin.

Diagnostics ReportDue to Paul being on holiday at the time of going to press, the Diagnostics Report is going to be somewhat ‘light’ this edition.

The Sink

Diagno

George Loughlin and Mike Grafton frequently have a side wager on major horse racing events, where they pick one horse from each race and score:

•3 points for a win •2 points for second •1 point for third

The one with the highest total over the event is the overall winner.

The 2009 Cheltenham Festival was the focus of this particular wager where George won by a handsome 6 point margin.

To mark the event Mike, when giving George his winnings, also kindly presented George with a certificate to commemorate his achievement.

This proved to be a complete contrast to when Mike won a similar competition where George wasn’t such a gallant loser.

At that time stomping into the office he threw £10 and a volley of obscenities at Mike before retreating muttering to himself.

Well done George!

GEORGE’SGEE GEES

YOUNG PRETENDERS?

The Glee Club - UpdateThe Glee Club continues to thrive at lunchtimes on their half-hour treks around Kineton’s beautiful countryside.

This Winter, the Glee-ers have found a few new routes to enjoy, and can often be seen tramping over the hills like the Von-Trapp family!

The highlight since the last edition was the introduction of ‘Extreme Gleeing’, which Derek is demonstrating in the photograph above.

If you are interested in joining the Glee Club, please contact El Presidente, Clive Roberts.

Since the arrival of the SIGS team to Kineton, it has been noticed that a new unauthorised and unregistered Glee Club has been started with some of the younger members!Andrew McCabe, Lee Thornett, Jason Taffeeand latest Kineton arrival Tim Hiscocks, often disappear from the office on a lunchtime for a “Junior Glee Club” ramble.

Watch out lads…take heed from the Glee Club. Are you sure you want to turn out like that?

Jason, Lee, Andy & Tim (Circa 2040) on a lift-share to Kineton

“McCabe hits super double”, “McCabe sends North Leigh top” and the now famous “Magic McCabe!”.

Ivor Biggun: Andrew celebrates North Leigh as Champions of the Hellenic League Premier Division

last season.

Just before going to press, news has arrived at the SINK’s offices that Soccer Superstar Andrew McCabe was sent off sensationally during a recent match, following an elbowing incident.

“I didn’t ****** touch him”protested McCabe when interviewed. “It’s a ****** disgrace!”

As Sky Sports rarely ventures to British Gas Business League matches, there is no video evidence to support McCabe’s claim. However, photographic evidence, taken by an Oxford Mail photographer, (below) does little to support Andrew’s innocence claim.

The referee, Uriah Rennie, was not available to comment.

We in Kineton now have a football superstar in our midst. Andrew McCabe, a Project Leader in the SIGS team, is a headline-grabbing midfield maestro!

Andrew plays for North Leigh, currently lying mid-table in British Gas Business League, Division One South & West.

Andrew, who had the opportunity to turn professional when he played for Forest Green, decided to take the path of a technical illustrator. Professional football’s loss is Semcon’s gain!

In the Oxford Mail and The Witney Gazette (which is a cracking read according to Jason Taaffe), Andrew constantly grabs headlines such as;

If you have any interesting Semcon-

related sports stories, please send them to

Steve Mellin via e-mail.