THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

FOUNDATION PRINCIPLES Introduction The Maturity Continuum Principles Paradigms Processes P/PC Balance: The Principle of Effectiveness

The materials and arrangements has slowly evolved and has imbued those who have been sincerely and deeply immersed in it with the conviction that the Seven Habits represent a holistic, integrated approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness, and that, more than in the individual habits themselves, the real key lies in the relationship among them and hoe they are sequenced. Stephen R.Covey Back of every noble life there are principles that have fashioned it. George H.Lorimer

INTRODUCTIONDeveloping HabitsA habit is defined as the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. Knowledge is understanding what to do and why to do it; skill is knowing how to do it; desire is motivation or wanting to do it. To make habits, we need to develop all the components.

CHARACTER AND PERSONALITYThe relationship between character and personality can be illustrated with an iceberg. The tip of iceberg (personality) is what people first see. Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, the weight of real effectiveness lies in good character.PERSONALITYCHARACTER

FOUR LEVELS OF LEADERSHIPThe Seven Habits apply at all four levels of leadership (personal, interpersonal, managerial, and organizational). As you work from the inside out by building your personal trustworthiness, you create trust on an interpersonal level and improve relationships. As trust is built, you can confidently empower individuals and groups within the organization to produce desire results. With empower individuals, the organization can align its systems and structure better with the corporate mission and with strategy to meet stakeholder needs. Alignment, then, contributes to greater empowerment and higher trust.

Personal and Interpersonal LeadershipPersonal leadership grows out of trustworthiness. To lead others effectively, individuals must first be able to lead themselves effectively. As individuals demonstrate trustworthiness (a balance of high competence and strong character), other people will begin to trust them as leaders.Interpersonal leadership is built on trust. Trust, which builds strong relationships, flows from trustworthy people.

CHARACTER AND COMPETENCECharacter: A person with high character exhibits integrity, maturity, and an Abundance Mentality.Competence :A person with high competence has knowledge and ability in a given area.To be truly effective in any area, a person must have a balance of high character and high competence. As people balance these two elements, they built their personal trustworthiness and their trust with others.

TRUST

TRUSTWORTHINESSCHARACTER

COMPETENCE

THE MATURITY CONTINUUMThe Maturity Continuum shows the relationship among the Seven Habits, Public Victory and Private Victory, and the stages of interdependent progression.Private Victory: We experienced the Private Victory when we learn self-mastery and self-discipline.Public Victory: We reap the Public Victory when we build deep, lasting, highly effective relationships with other people.

INTERDEPENDENCEINDEPENDENCEDEPENDENCEPUBLICHISTORYHabit 5:Seek First to Understand Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6:SynergizeHabit 4:Think Win-WinPRIVATE VICTORYHabit 1:Be ProactiveHabit 2:Begin with the End in MindHabit 3:Put First Things FirstHabit 7:Sharpen the saw

BASIC CHANGE MODELThe result we achieve are affected by serval key elements specified in the model below. As we look at and work on these elements in light of principles, we can change the results we achieve.

Each of the Seven Habits is based upon and incorporates one or more:

Principle upon which the habit is basedParadigms that are aligned with principles.Processes or thoughts and behaviors that affect the result we achieve.

PRINCIPLES Principles

Universal, timelessProduce predictable outcomesExternal to ourselvesOperate with or without our understanding or acceptanceSelf-evident and enabling when understood Values

Self-chosen beliefs and idealsInternal, subjective, based on how we see the worldInfluenced by upbringing, society, and personal reflection.Natural laws or fundamental truthsThe worth or priority we place on people, things, ideas, or principles

PARADIGM Paradigm

Individuals are products of learning and experience, and no two individuals share the same knowledge base or the same set of experiences. Consequently, no two people share identical paradigms.PARADIGM SHIFT If we want significant changes, first we must change our paradigms. Thomas Kuhn, the author of a landmark book The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, made a point that almost every significant breakthrough in the science is first a break with tradition old ways of thinking, or old paradigms.The way an individuals perceives, understands, and interprets the surrounding world. A mental map

THE SOCIAL MIRRORIs a metaphor the way we see ourselves because others reflect their perceptions, opinions, and paradigm about us through their words and behaviors. From the social mirror, we form images and judgments of ourselves (e.g.," I'm not a creative person ).Because the social mirror is a reflection of our memories of how others see us, it is often inaccurate and limiting. Our real potential, on the other hand, can best be drawn from our imagination. While memories constrain, imagination is limitless.

SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECYOur paradigms or perception of people influence the way we treat them. For instance, if we think someone is incapable , we may be overly helpful and protective. Fearing his or her failure, we may deny that person opportunities we might freely provide to people whom we perceive as capable. If we perceive someone as intelligent, we may challenge and affirm him or her.The way we treat others influenced their behavior and performance. The self-fulfilling prophecy-what we believe about ourselves and others-influences our self-perception, behavior, and performance.

PROCESSSESEach section in your workbook explains principles and paradigm associated with the respective habit. The section also provide processes for applying the given habits. As you go through the Seven Habits, look for processes that will help you implement and integrate them in your life. PROCESSES

Effective processes contribute to the ultimate behavior or habit we are trying to develop. For example, the six-step process in Habit 3 help us effectively manage our relationships, activities, and results. In Habit 6, the processes for finding a Third Alternative allows us to creatively discover solutions that satisfy all involved partners.Processes sometimes include tools that help create and reinforce desire behaviors or habits. The Seven Habits Organizer, for example, is a tool that helps reinforce putting first things first.The processes outlined in the workshop are not the only approaches to developing the habits. As you work with this materials, you may find new ways to align your thoughts and behavior with principles to develop greater effectiveness.Related series or routine of mental or physical activities

THE CHANGE CYCLEOur paradigms (how we see things) influenced the process we used and the behavior we choose (what we do). In turn, what we do affects our results (what we get). These results either meet or fail to meet stakeholder needs. To continuously improve our effectiveness in meeting and exceeding stakeholder needs, we constantly challenge our paradigms. As we align ourselves with principles, we are more likely to succeed and make predictable and effective choices in a changing environment. PRINCIPLES

P/PC BALANCE:THE PRINCIPLE OF EFFECTIVENESSEffectiveness is a balance of two things: PRODUCTION

PRODUCTION CAPABILITY

The most important resource available to any organization is the relationship among its people, including internal and external stakeholders.The desire resultsproduced (the golden eggs, or P)Maintaining, preserving, and enhancing the resources that produce the desiredresults the goose, or PC)

THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNTThe Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor for the amount of trust that exists in a relationship. It suggests that every interaction with another human being may be classified as a deposit or withdrawal. Deposits build and repair trust in relationships. Withdrawals lessen trust in relationships.

DEPOSITS & WITHDRAWLSKindness & CourtesyKeeping PromisesHonoring ExpectationsLoyalty to the AbsentMaking ApologiesPride, Conceit, ArroganceDisloyalty, DuplicityViolating ExpectationsBreaking PromisesUnkindness & Discourtesy

HABIT 1:BE PROACTIVEResponding According to Values

Accepting Responsibility

Focusing on the Circle of Influence

Becoming a Transition Figure

HABIT 1 : BE PROACTIVE THE HABIT OF PERSONAL VISIONINTERDEPENDENCEINDEPENDENCEDEPENDENCEPUBLICHISTORYHabit 5:Seek First to Understand Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6:SynergizeHabit 4:Think Win-WinPRIVATE VICTORYHabit 1:Be ProactiveHabit 2:Begin with the End in MindHabit 3:Put First Things FirstHabit 7:Sharpen the saw

Principles, paradigms & ProcessesUnderlying Principles-Individuals are responsible for their own choices and have the freedom to choose.Key Paradigms-I am responsible for my behavior and the choices I make in life-I can expand my personal freedom and influence through being proactiveKey ProcessRecognize reactive tendencies and develop proactive responseIncrease your Circle of InfluenceBecome a transition figure to benefit yourself and othersExercise the human endowments through conscious choice in decision making.

RESPONDING ACCORDING TO VALUESCharacteristics of a Proactive Person:

Responding according to values

Accepting responsibility for their own behavior

Focusing on their Circle of Influence

REACTIVE BEHAVIORReactive people allow outside influences (mood, feeling, or circumstances) to control their responses

STIMULUS RESPONSE

PROACTIVE BEHAVIORProactive people use the margin of freedom to make choices that best apply their values. Their freedom to choose expands as they wisely use the space between stimulus and response.

STIMULUS RESPONSEFREEDOM TOCHOOSE ACCORDINGTO VALUES

ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY When we blame and accuse others, we are reactive. We focus on the weaknesses of other people and get so involved in their disturbing behaviors that we forfeit our power to think, feel, and act in our best interest. On the other hand, by exercising proactivity, we dont let others weaknesses drive our decisions. In spite of others action and dispositions, we make choices according to our values, purpose, and vision.

THEORIES OF DETERMINISMReactive people blame their attitude and behavior on things they think they cannot control. They respond to stimulus, often attributing their behavior to three determinants:

Genetic-traits we inheritedPsychic-our upbringingEnvironmental-our surrounding

THE FOUR HUMAN ENDOWMENTSProactive people exercise four endowments: SELF-AWARENESS IMAGINATION

CONSCIENCE

INDEPENDENT WILLExamining thoughts,moods, and behaviors.Visualizing beyond experience and present realityUnderstanding right and wrong, and following personal integrity.Acting independent of external influence

FOCUSING ON THE CIRCLE OF INFLUENCECircle of Influence

Circle of ConcernA persons Circle of Influence includes those things he or she can affect directlyA persons Circle of Concern comprisesAll matters about he or she caresCircle of InfluenceCIRCLE OF CONCERN

EXPANDING YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCEThe Circle of Influence is like a muscle that enlarges and gains elasticity with exercise, but wastes away with lack of use. When people focus on things they can influence (e.g., their Emotional Bank Account with others, their P/PC Balance), they expand their knowledge and experience, and they build trustworthiness. As a result, their Circle of Influence grows. However, when people focus on things they cant control, they have less time and energy to spend on things they can influence. Consequently, their Circle of Influence shrinks.

PROACTIVE FOCUS:

Circle of Influence Increases REACTIVE FOCUS:

Circle of Influence Decreases

Circle of InfluenceCircle of ConcernCircle of InfluenceCircle of Concern

PROACTIVE & REACTIVE LANGUAGE PROACTIVE

I choose to go

I control my own feelings

Lets explore alternatives

I canREACTIVE

I have to go

He makes me so mad

Theres nothing I can do

If only.

HABIT 2:BEGIN WITH THE END IN MINDMental Creation Precedes Physical Creation

Choosing a Life Center

Personal Mission Statement

HABIT 2 : BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND THE HABIT OF PERSONAL LEADERSHIP INTERDEPENDENCEINDEPENDENCEDEPENDENCEPUBLICHISTORYHabit 5:Seek First to Understand Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6:SynergizeHabit 4:Think Win-WinPRIVATE VICTORYHabit 1:Be ProactiveHabit 2:Begin with the End in MindHabit 3:Put First Things FirstHabit 7:Sharpen the saw

Principles, paradigms & ProcessesUnderlying Principles-Mental creation precedes physical creationKey Paradigms-I can choose my own future and create a vision of it-I will create results mentally before beginning any activityKey ProcessCreate and apply personal and organizational mission statements as constitutions for daily livingEnvision the desire results and important values to guide activities or endeavors

MENTAL CREATION PRECEDES PHYSICAL CREATIONOUR VISION SHAPES OUR FUTURE Many people gain a sense of who they are from the opinion, perceptions, and paradigms of the people around them. They allow circumstance, conditioning, and the social mirror to mold and form who they are and what they achieve. The most effective people, however, shape their own future. Instead of letting other people or circumstances determine their destiny, they mentally plan and then physically create their own positive results. What they have in their mind shapes their future.

THE FIRST CREATION Every physical creation begins as a mental creation-as a thought, a plan, a perception, or a motive.

One of the most important outcomes of Habit 2:Begin with the end in Mind is this mental creation-the plan, designs, and layout for who we want to be and what we want to do as individuals and organizations.First CreationThe mental thought andplan for desire resultsSecond Creation The physical production desire results

CHOOSING A LIFE CENTERALTERNATIVE CENTERS A center is what guides our decisions and motivates us to act. Whether consciously or unknowingly, our center drives the choices we make. PrincipleFamilyMoneyPossessionsWorkPleasure FriendEnemyReligiousOrganizationSelfSpouse

PRINCIPLE-CENTERED Someone who is principle-centered bases decisions on principles that govern human effectiveness. Principles are ideal core because they allow us to seek the best alternative through conscious choice, knowledge, and values. Principle-centered people try to:

1)Stand apart from the emotion of a situation and from other factors that would act on them.

2)Make proactive choices after evaluating options.

PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENTWHATS IN A MISSION STATEMENT? MISSION STATEMENTA powerful documents that express your personalsense of purpose and meaning in life.It acts as a governing constitution by which you evaluate decisions and choose behaviors.

EVALUATING OUR SCRIPTS The process of writing a mission statement allows us to reevaluate our old scripts created by the social mirror) and create new scripts based on principles. Creating a personal mission statement involves as much discovery as it does creation. We envision and explore our future using the four endowments: self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will.

BENEFITS OF A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENTA personal mission statement:Encourage you to think deeply about your lifeHelps you examine your innermost thoughts and feelingsClarifies what is really important to youExpands your perspectiveImprints self-determined values and purpose firmly in your mind.Provides direction and commitment to valuesEnables you to make daily progress towards long-term goals when connected to daily and weekly plans)Provides the first or mental creation of your desire results for your life

The process of writing a mission statement involves answering a series of questions:

What things do I want to have that feel are important?

What am I about?

What are the qualities of character I would like to emulate?

What legacy do I want to leave?

SAMPLE MISSION STATEMENTS RESOLUTION MAHATMA GANDHI Let the first act of every morning be to make the following resolve for the day:

I shall not fear anymore on earth I shall fear only God I shall not bear ill toward anyone I shall not submit to injustice from anyone I shall conquer untruth by truth And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering

MISSION STATEMENT For myself, I want to develop self-knowledge, self-love, and self-allowing. I want to use my healing talents to keep hope alive and express my vision courageously in word and action. In my family, I want to build healthy, loving relationship in which we let each other become our best selves. At work, I want ti establish a fault-free, self-perpetuating learning environment which fosters a wish to grow and help others grow; curiosity about the unknown's determination to face problems squarely; and a desire to understand and work with others to discover and fulfill common goals. In the world, I want to nurture the development of all life forms, in harmony with the laws of nature.

HABIT 3:PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

YOUR FIRST THINGS

LIVING AN EFFECTIVE LIFE IN QUADRANT II

THE SIX-STEP PROCESS

HABIT 3 : PUT FIRST THING FIRST THE HABIT OF PERSONAL MANAGEMENTINTERDEPENDENCEINDEPENDENCEDEPENDENCEPUBLICHISTORYHabit 5:Seek First to Understand Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6:SynergizeHabit 4:Think Win-WinPRIVATE VICTORYHabit 1:Be ProactiveHabit 2:Begin with the End in MindHabit 3:Put First Things FirstHabit 7:Sharpen the saw

Principles, paradigms & ProcessesUnderlying Principles-Effectiveness requires balancing important relationships, roles and activities. Key Paradigms-Things which matter most should never be at the mercy of things which matter least-I will improve P/PC Balance within my Circle of Influence-I will focus on important instead of urgencyKey Process-Focus on the truly important and say no to the unimportant-Focus on Quadrant II activities-Plan weekly and implement daily based on your mission, roles, goals, and priorities.

LIVING AN EFFECTIVE LIFE IN QUADRANT II All activities can be classified by importance and urgency. IMPORTANCE

URGENCY

When we graph these two elements and their opposites, four quadrants emerge that describe the activities we engage in. Those quadrants from the Time Management Matrix. An activity is important is you personallyfind it valuable-if it contributes to your mission, values, and high-priority goals. An activity is urgent if you orothers feel that is requiresimmediate attention.

URGENT NOT URGENTICrisesPressing problemsDeadline-driven projects, meetings, preparationsIIPreparationPreventionValues clarificationPlanningRelationship buildingTrue re-creationEmpowerment IVTrivia, busyworkSome phone callsTime wastersEscape activitiesIrrelevant mailExcessive TV

IIIInterruptions, some phone callsSome mail, some reportsSome meetingsMany proximate, pressing mattersMany popular activities

IMPORTANTNOT IMPORTANT

The best use of our time focuses on the quadrants that emphasize importance (Quadrant I and II). Building relationships, planning, and preparation are all Quadrant II,PC activities.

The key is not to priorities your schedule but to schedule your priorities. -Stephen R.Covey

THE SIX-STEP PROCESS Habit 3: Put First Things First involves a six-step, Quadrant II process that will help you act on the basis of importance. Importance, in the context of Put First Things First, is defined by your mission statement and confirmed by your conscience. The six steps can be used in weekly planning or as often as needed.

STEP 1-CONNECT TO MISSION Connecting to your mission is linking your mind and heart to your worthwhile purpose. When you reflect on your mission statement, the things you think about and care about merge. Your mission statement can act as a catalyst to achieve worthwhile purposes. Reflecting weekly on your mission statement puts you in touch with what you want to be, do, and have. While reciting from memory or reading your mission statement will help you connect to your mission, picturing yourself living your mission will help you connect to your purpose even more.

WEEKLY REFLECTION You may use any or all of the following questions as you reflect weekly on your mission statement:

What do my heart and mind tell me to contribute, develop, protect, preserve, and support?

How can I align this coming weeks actions with my mission?

What visual images motivate me to accomplish this weeks goal?

STEP 2-REVIEW ROLES When you organize your life into roles, you will be able to clearly see the balance or imbalance among them. In these smaller units, you can manageably work towards living your mission. As you review your roles in light of your mission, you will be able to achieve more balance and unity in your life

Your roles represent responsibilities, relationships, and areas of contribution. You may consider the following examples to help you define your roles:Wife/Mother; Sales-Prospects; Sales-Administration; Scout Leader; Learner.Family member; Manager-New Products; Manager-Research; Manager-Staff Development; Community Servant; Individual

WEEKLY REFLECTION Ask the following question during the weekly review of your roles:Are there any roles I feel uncomfortable with or concerned about?Are there any roles in which I feel I have spent too much or too little?Have I forgotten or neglected any relationship within of my roles?Are there things I value and am I doing for which I have no role? Do I need to establish a new role?Did I use my role to prioritize or emphasize certain goals this week?Have any of my roles changed or evolved?Are there future roles I could be gradually working on now?

GOAL-SETTING GUIDLINES To set a weekly goal, ask yourself," What is the most important thing I could do in each role this week that would have the greatest positive impact? Although you may identify several goals in each role, it is suggested that you limit yourself to the one or two most important goals or activities. In fact you dont need to set weekly goals for each role. There may be times when wisdom suggest that you focus on one key goal that requires special attention. Many good method of goal-setting exist. During your life, you have probably tried several methods and found certain ones that work for you. The intent of this course is to take goal-setting to a new level by connecting goals to your roles and to your mission.

GOAL OPTIONS The goal-setting table on the next page lists several types of goals, some of which might be new to you. A variety of unconventional goal-setting ideas have been listed. To set a goal using the goal-setting table:

Select a role and record it in a blank space above the table

From the table, choose a good idea that intrigues you or that youve never tried before. Circle it.

Set a weekly or longer-term goal specifically targeted towards that role, and write it in the space at the bottom of the table. This goal should connect to your role and mission.

Repeat the process for another role if you have time.

ROLE:IDEAS FOR GOALEXPLANATION4)Resonance1) Quadrant II5)Needs/Sharpen the Saw2)Maturity Continuum3)StrechPlan/prepare for new opportunities or maintenanceMove relationship from dependenceto independence, or vice versaCreate a realistic challengeAdopt a goal you here from anothersource that immediately captures yourheart and mindMeet physical, social/emotional, mental, and/or spiritual needs6)SerendipityTake up goal you find while working on Other goals7)OptionsExplore and expand your choices

8)Support9)Delegation10)Been There, Done That11)Common Interest12)Paradigm Shift13)Pareto Principle14)Emotional Bank AccountFind a mentor or source ofencouragement or assistance, and with that person, work toward a goalCreate a win-win and empowermentTry something once so you can feelthe satisfaction of accomplishmentExplore the interest of a person you valueProactively challenge your currentthinking or perspectiveUse 20 percent focused effort to relieve 80 percent of the problemFocus on building your Emotional BankAccount in a particular relationship

STEP 4-ORGANIZE WEEKLY Daily planning only provides you with a limited view of what is important-it encourages a Quadrant I focus. Although monthly planning gives you a greater view of what is important, too many things change during the month to plan effectively. To clarify your perspective and allow yourself a manageable amount of time to plan Quadrant II activities, use your weekly planning session to organize your life and keep focused on important matters.

Schedule the BIG ROCKS Self-awareness and purpose will help you determine the activities that represent your own BIG ROCKS. Remember, there should include Quadrant II activities such as:PreparationPreventionValues clarificationPlanningRelationship buildingTrue re-creation

Turn to your weekly worksheet and schedule your BIG ROCKS for coming week. Determine whether your previous commitments are still big rock, and schedule accordingly.

STEP 5-EXERCISE INTEGRITY IN THE MOMENT OF CHOICE

People with integrity make and keep meaningful promises and commitments to themselves and others that are in line with their mission statement. Every wise choice affirms the question, Does this choice lead me toward what I really want?

Exercising integrity is a moment-by-moment choice. At every moment we choose whether or not we will actively work toward what we want to be, do, and have.

ALIGNMENT WITH MISSION

How does if feel when you lose sight of your mission?

Nagging unhappiness

Dissatisfaction

Lack of inner peace

How can you lose sight of your mission?Unrealistic time frameSocial mirror (peer pressure)Unrealistic expectationsImbalanceConfused mission/purpose (substituting someone elses mission for your own)Short-sighted desires wants dont contribute to fulfillment of mission)Fires and crises

STEP 6-EVALUATE As you sit down to plan your next weeks activities, look back and evaluate what worked well and what should be change to help you accomplish your goals. Consistently evaluating your progress can help you learn from what you have or have not done. If you are going to succeed in your roles and accomplish effective goals, at the end of each week you must evaluate the lesson learned, revisit your mission, and apply the evaluation results. EVALUATE LESSONS LEARNED Was accomplishing these goals the best use of your time?What unmet goals should you carry into the coming world?What pattern of success and failure do you see in setting and achieving goals?What keeps getting in the way of accomplishing your goals?Are you creating unrealistic expectations?

REVISIT YOUR MISSION Review your mission statement and compare your past weeks activities with what you want to be, do, and have.

Apply Evaluation Results Once you have tried reviewed the past week for lessons learned and for how well the goals you worked on tied in with your mission, apply what you have discovered. Set a goal to change your results. Write it on your weekly worksheet under the correct role. Following the six-step process will help you put first things first in your life.

HABIT 4:THINK WIN-WINSix Paradigms of Human Interaction

Win-Win Rescripting

Four Dimensions of Win-Win

HABIT 4 : think win-win the habit of interpersonal leadershipINTERDEPENDENCEINDEPENDENCEDEPENDENCEPUBLICHISTORYHabit 5:Seek First to Understand Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6:SynergizeHabit 4:Think Win-WinPRIVATE VICTORYHabit 1:Be ProactiveHabit 2:Begin with the End in MindHabit 3:Put First Things FirstHabit 7:Sharpen the saw

Principles, paradigms & ProcessesUnderlying Principles- Effective, long-term relationships require mutual benefit.Key Paradigms- I seek the benefit of others as well as my own- I get better results in my relationship by cooperating interdependently than by competing independently.Key ProcessBalance courage and consideration in seeking mutual benefitPersist in looking for win-win outcomes despite past win-lose conditioning.

SIX PARADIGMS OF HUMAN INTERACTIONWIN-WIN People who choose to win and make sure others also practice win-win. People with a win-win paradigm take time to search for solutions that will make them happy and simultaneously satisfy others.

Characteristics:Seeks mutual benefitIs cooperative, not competitiveListens mote, stays in communication longer, and communicates with more courage.

WIN-LOSE People with a win-lose mindset are concerned with them selves first and last. They want to win, and they want others to lose. They achieve success at the expense or exclusion of anothers success. They are driven by comparison, competition, position, and power.

Characteristics:Is very common scripting for most peopleIs the authoritarian approachUses position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get the win

LOSE-WIN People who choose to lose and let others win show high consideration for others, but lack the courage to express and act on their feelings and beliefs. They are easily intimidated and borrow strength from acceptance and popularity.

Characteristics:.Voice no standards, no demands, no expectations of anyone else.Is quick to please or appeaseBuries a lot of feelings

LOSE-LOSE

People who have a lose-lose paradigms are low on courage and consideration. They envy and criticize others. They put themselves and others down.

Characteristics:Is the mindset of a highly dependent personIs the same as a no win because nobody benefitsIs a long-term results of win-lose, lose-win, or win.

WIN People who hold a win paradigm think only of getting what they want. Although they dont necessarily want others to lose, they are personally set on winning. They think independently in interdependent situations, without sensitivity or awareness of others.

Characteristics:Is self-centeredThink me firstDoesn't really care if other person wins or losesHas a Scarcity Mentality

WIN-WIN or NO DEAL Win-Win or No Deal is the highest form of win-win. People who adopt this paradigm seek first for win-win. If they cannot find an acceptable solution, they agree to disagree agreeably.

Characteristics:Allows each party to say noIs the most realistic at the beginning of a relationship or business dealIs the highest form of win

WHAT WIN-WIN IS AND IS NOT ISIS NOT A courage effortThe best way to get tointerdependent relationshipA philosophy of humaninteraction supported by anAbundance MentalityA character-based code for interactionAlways being niceAlways achievableA manipulative techniqueA personality-based thought pattern

WIN-WIN RESCRIPTING Most of us have some scripts that are ineffective. However, we can rescript, or learn new way of behavior, by improvement through win-win thinking ( on the interdependent level). The process of rescripting includes these steps:

Developing self-awareness

Writing new scripts

Developing new scripts

FOUR DIMENSION OF WIN-WIN Win-win is a paradigm of human interaction. It comes from integrity, maturity, and Abundance Mentality. It grows out of high-trust relationships. It is embodied in agreements that effectively clarify and manage expectations and accomplishments. We can apply win-win in four dimensions:

1)Character2)Relationships3)Agreements4)Systems and Processes The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People course will focus on the first two dimensions. Win-Win Agreements and win-win Systems and processes are covered more fully in Principle-Centered Leadership

1.WIN-WIN CHARACTERYour character communicates your deepest beliefs and values. A win-win person possesses 3 character traits: integrity, maturity, and Abundance Mentality. Trustworthiness flows out of these character traits.INTEGRITY MATURITY

ABUNDANCE MENTALITYPeople of integrity are trueTo their feelings, values, and commitmentsMature people express their ideas and feelings with courage and with consideration for ideas andfeeling of others.People with an Abundance Mentality believe that there is plentyfor everyone

HIGH COURAGE-HIGH CONSIDERATIONLOWHIGHCOURAGELOWHIGHCONSIDERATION From your character traits of integrity, maturity, and Abundance Mentality you have a strong foundation for high courage and high consideration. How would you respond in the following situation?

Courage/Consideration Scenario

You are having lunch with your boss and a client at a downtown deli. The deli is crowded with noon-hour patrons, and the service is extremely slow. You feel pressed-you really need to be back at the office in 20 minutes. The waiter brought your bosss and clients orders 15 minutes ago, and they have almost finished eating. When the waiter finally brings your sandwich, it is not the one you ordered. How would a person respond who has:

Low courage and low consideration?

Low courage and high consideration?

High courage and low consideration?

High courage and high consideration?

2.WIN-WIN RELATIONSHIPS People who engage in win-win relationships establish high trust by making deposits in the Emotional Bank Account. They:

Demonstrate consistent actions that convince people that they have a well-earned reputation for honesty, integrity, and loyalty. Their actions are consistent with their behavior, decisions, and positions.Believe in the best of other peopleDisclose-help others understand their position, behavior, and decisions

Communicate clear expectations

Seek other ideas and listen with empathy

Are accurate, timely, and honest in communication

Treat people with respect and respond to others needs

Focus on the positive, but provide constructive feedback on improvements areas.

3.WIN-WIN AGREEMENTS An effective Win-Win Agreement creates clear, mutual understanding and agreement up front in 5 areas; desired results, guidelines, resources, accountability, and consequences.

ELEMENTS OF WIN-WIN AGREEMENTSDesired ResultsClarify the end in mind,objectives and outcomeGuidelinesSpecify boundaries and deadlines for accomplishing the resultsResourcesList of human, financial, technicalor organizational resourcesavailable of accomplishingthe desire resultsAccountabilityIdentify the standards and methodsof measurement for progress andaccomplishment.ConsequencesDetermine the result(s) of achievingOr not achieving win-win

4.WIN-WIN SYSTEMS AND PROCESSES You can best achieve win-win solutions with win-win systems and processes. But if changing your systems to win-win feels overwhelming and out of reach, remember to work from the inside out. As you first develop a win-win character and then Win-Win Agreements and relationships, you will expand your Circle of Influence and be able to work on progress.

HABIT 5:SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

The Challenges of Communication

The Attitude and Skill of Empathy

HABIT 5 : seek first to understand, then to be understood the habit of empathic communication

INTERDEPENDENCEINDEPENDENCEDEPENDENCEPUBLICHISTORYHabit 5:Seek First to Understand Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6:SynergizeHabit 4:Think Win-WinPRIVATE VICTORYHabit 1:Be ProactiveHabit 2:Begin with the End in MindHabit 3:Put First Things FirstHabit 7:Sharpen the saw

Principles, paradigms & ProcessesUnderlying Principles-Diagnosis must precede prescription-Understanding comes through listening

Key Paradigms-I assume I dont fully understand, and I need to listen-If I listen first to understand, then I will be better understood

Key Process- Use Empathic Listening skills.

LEVELS OF LISTENINGWhen others speak, we listen at one of 5 levels; ignoring, pretend listening, selective listening, attentive listening, or Emphatic Listening. People who listen at the first 4 levels often pursue personal motives. People who practice the fifth level of listening, Emphatic Listening, try to discover what the other person really means and feels from his or her point of view.

IgnoringMaking no effort to listenPretend ListeningGiving the appearanceyou are listeningHearing only the partsthat interest youSelective ListeningAttentive ListeningPaying attention and focusingon what the speaker says,and comparing to your ownexperiencesEmpathic ListeningListening and responding withHeart & mind to understandThe speakers words, intent and feelings

AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL RESPONSES One of the biggest obstacles people encounter in interpersonal communications is the tendency to respond autobiographically. We advise, probe, interpret, and evaluate other peoples messages based on our own experiences and motives. * Advising-Giving counsel ,advice and solution to problems * Probing-Asking questions from our own frame of reference * Evaluating-Judging, and either agreeing or disagreeing * Interpreting-Explaining anothers motives and behavior based on our experiences. Trying to figure people out. As we overcome the natural tendency to hastily diagnose, jump to conclusion, defend ourselves, and push our opinion on other people, our interpersonal communications become more effective. We quit sifting everything through our own paradigms and stop reading our autobiographies into other peoples lives.

EFFECTIVENESS OF AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL RESPONSES Depending on the context of the communication and the amount of trust in the relationship, autobiographical responses may or may not be effective.

Autobiographical responses might be effective when:

The nature of the other persons communication is presented logically, without emotionThe other person specifically asks for help from your point of viewThe Emotional Bank Account with the other person is very high.

Autobiographical responses might not effective when:

The other person only wants a listening ear

The other person wants to express and the explore his or her own pace, without feeling threatened

The nature of the other persons communication is emotional

THE ATTITUDE AND SKILL OF EMPATHY Becoming a more effective, emphatic listener requires developing both desire and skill. To do so, we need to live key principles of communication more fully. Effective listening requires a knowledge of how meaning is conveyed from speaker to listener.

HOW WE COMMUNICATE Communication experts estimate that only 7% of our communication is represented by the words we say, another 38% by our sounds and how we say words, and 55% by our nonverbal and body language.

55%38%7%Nonverbal,Body LanguageHow we say words,Sounds We Make Word We UsePeople communicate beyond words. Beyond words, peopleexpress feelings. Often they disclose these feelings through word emphasis and body language, even though they mayverbally communicate conflicting ideas.

EMPHATIC LISTENING Emphatic Listening skills, in part, give others psychological air (open space in which a person may explore feelings, vent emotions, and feel understood without being judged). These skills includes capturing feelings from nonverbal cues, listening attentively, and phrasing empathic responses clearly, supportively and sincerely. But while all of these skills are important, attitude is even more important for allowing others psychological air. To work effectively, skills must be built on a caring attitude and a sincere desire to understand.SKILLATTITUDE

5 EMPATHIC LISTENING RESPONSES The basic skill of Emphatic Listening is helping the speaker feel understood.Repeat verbatim the content of the communication-words only, not feelingsRephrase content - summarize their meaning in your own wordsReflect feeling look more deeply and begin to capture feelings in your own words. Look beyond words for body language and tone to indicate feelings.Rephrase content & reflect feelings express both their words and their feelings in your own wordsDiscern when empathy is not necessary or appropriate

Helpful Phrases to Acknowledge Understanding

-As I get it, you felt that..-Im picking up that you..-So, as you see it..-What I guess Im hearing is..-Im not sure Im with you, but..-You place a high value on..-As I hear it, you..-Your feeling now is that..-You must have felt..-Your message seems to be, I..

HABIT 6:SYNERGIZE

The Process of Synergizing

Valuing the Differences

Creating the Third Alternative

The Perspective of Humility

HABIT 6 : synergize the habit of creative cooperation

INTERDEPENDENCEINDEPENDENCEDEPENDENCEPUBLICHISTORYHabit 5:Seek First to Understand Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6:SynergizeHabit 4:Think Win-WinPRIVATE VICTORYHabit 1:Be ProactiveHabit 2:Begin with the End in MindHabit 3:Put First Things FirstHabit 7:Sharpen the saw

Principles, paradigms & ProcessesUnderlying Principles- The whole is greater that the sum of its parts Key Paradigms- I value the differences in others and seek the Third Alternative- Working together cooperatively takes time but produces better long-term resultsKey Process- Apply win-win thinking (Habit 4) and emphatic communication (Habit 5)to seek synergistic outcomes, including the Third Alternative (Habit 6)- Use synergy ground rules to discover the Third Alternative

THE PROCESS OF SYNERGIZING Synergize is the final habit in the Public Victory. Using Habit 4 & 5, we apply openness and communication. When we Synergize, we look at a problem, understand needs, and work to create synergy or a Third Alternative (a mutually beneficial solution) to meet those needs. SYNERGYThe whole is greater thanthe sum of its parts. Synergy takesplace when 2 or more peopleproduce more together that the sumof what they could have produceseparately

To Synergize IsTo Synergize Is NotResult-oriented,positive synergyA brainstorming free-for-allAccepting others ideas as full truthExamining, exploring, seekingdiverse perspectives openly enough to alter or completeyour paradigmCooperatingWin-lose competitionHaving a mutually agreed-upon end in mindGroup think (giving in to peer pressure)Worth the effort & highly effectiveAlways easyA processOnly a negotiation technique

ProblemOrOpportunitySynergize Habits 4, 5 & 6The ActionAnd ProcessThird AlternativeSynergyThe Result In an interdependent relationship, problems and opportunities can be addressed by synergizing. This process can lead you ti synergy, or the Third Alternative. Synergizing is an action and a creative process of looking for and exploring possibilities that will benefit all involved parties. Practicing Habit 4, 5 and 6 and applying tools that open your mind to new possibilities ( for instance, brainstorming. Surveying, flowcharting) enable you to arrive at synergy, or the Third Alternative.

VALUING THE DIFFRENCES The essence of synergy is valuing the differences. Valuing the differences does not imply that individuals approve of or agree with differences; however, it does mean that people respect differences and view them as opportunities for learning. The differing opinions of others and their viewpoints, perspectives, talents, and gifts are valuable when seeking solutions. These differences enable you to discover and produce things together that you would much less likely discover and produce individually. At what level do you value the difference?

GROUND RULES FOR SYNERGIZINGMental Preparation Prepare to find a solution that is better that what either person presently has in mindDevelop a win-win mentality. Believe that all parties involved will gain more insight, enthusiasm, learning and growth by working together.Keep minds, hearts and expressions open to new possibilitiesRecognize others differing opinions, viewpoints, and perspectives as helpful when seeking solutions. Valuing the differences let people discover things together that they would much less likely discover individually.

Interaction Ground Rule

You cannot make your pointuntil you restate the otherpersons point to his or her satisfaction.As you Synergize, remember to practice Habit 4 & 5.Look for a solution that would benefit all parties involved and listen with the intent to understand both content and feeling.Hold back any tendencies to give advice, probe, or try to figure people out.

COMPROMISE Compromise is the one way to settle the differences between two people With compromise, communication isnt defensive, protective, angry or manipulative; instead, its honest, genuine and respectful. Nevertheless, it is only a low form of win-win, since both people abandon some of their desires to meet the others wants. COMPROMISEThe enemy of the best is goodTwo or more people settle forless that they want to someof each of their wants canbe satisfied

CREATING THE THIRD ALTERNATIVE Developing a third mind allows two people with differences to stand on the same side and together, look at a problem, understand needs, and work to create a Third Alternative. A Third Alternative is a cooperative solution reached in the win-win spirit that all involved parties feel good about. As you search for the Third Alternative, remember:Communicate until we both find a solution we feel good about.Listen with the intent to understand, not replyExpress how you feel about and see the situation

THE PERSPECTIVE OF HUMILITY All people see the world as they are, not as it is. They perceive, understand and interpret the surrounding world according to their knowledge and experience. Since individuals are limited to their personal knowledge and experiences, they need others perspectives to expand their understanding and get a more balance, objective view.

People who are truly effective have the humility and reverence to recognize their own perceptual limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human beings

Significant Differences Think of someone in your personal or professional life with whom you seem to have significant differences. This person may have very different opinion, style, or talents that you do. As you reflect on your relationship with this person, discuss the series of statements below.This person really irritates me because we always seem to disagree about..I feel I am seeing the world as I am, not as it really is because..This persons strengths include..This persons skill include..This persons knowledge includes..To practice humility in my interactions with this people, I need to

HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW

Four Dimensions of Renewal

Personal Production Capability

The Upward Spiral

Principle- Centered Living

HABIT 7 : sharpen the saw the habit of RENEWAL INTERDEPENDENCEINDEPENDENCEDEPENDENCEPUBLICHISTORYHabit 5:Seek First to Understand Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6:SynergizeHabit 4:Think Win-WinPRIVATE VICTORYHabit 1:Be ProactiveHabit 2:Begin with the End in MindHabit 3:Put First Things FirstHabit 7:Sharpen the saw

Principles, paradigms & ProcessesUnderlying Principles- Production (results) requires development of Production capability (resources) Key Paradigms- I will increase my effectiveness through personal renewal in each of the four dimension of my life- I will continuously improveKey Process- Constantly develop and renew personal resources to create better personal P/PC balance- Set and achieve goals for renewal in physical, mental, spiritual, and social/emotional dimensions.

FOUR DIMENDION OF RENEWAL Sharpen the Saw is a daily process of renewing the 4 dimensions of our nature; physical, mental, spiritual and social/emotional. These 4 dimensions sustain and increase our capacities and help us discipline our mind, body, and spirit. This daily Private Victory is a victory over self. Not only does the daily Private Victory stimulus growth, but it also helps us achieve the Public Victory. As we achieve these victories through renewal, we cultivate and nurture the other six habits.

We can Sharpen the Saw in 4 areas:Physical We build physical wellness through proper nutrition, exercise, rest and stress management.Mental We increase mental capacity through reading, writing and thinking.Spiritual We develop spiritually through reading inspiring literature, through meditating and praying and through spending time with nature.Social/Emotional We mature socially and emotionally by consistent, daily deposits in the Emotional Bank Account of our key relationships.

Physical Renewal The physical dimension involves caring effectively for your physical body-eating the right kind of foods, getting sufficient rest and relaxation, and exercising on a regular basis. With proper attention to diet, stress level and exercise, your self-esteem, self-confidence, and integrity will grow. To renew yourself physically, consider the items on the following list:~Stay on top of current health information

~Exercise on a regular basis~Include flexibility, strength and cardiovascular-endurance exercise in your fitness program~Build physical skills on a regular basis~Build your diet on vegetables, fruits, breads, cereals and grains~Use positive ways to deal with stress~Get proper amount of sleep/rest~Make sure your habits and lifestyle contribute to long-term physical health

MENTAL RENEWAL The mind grows stronger when we challenge it. When daily activities become mundane and lack challenge, we become mentally dull. Stimulating the mind by learning new things makes us more alert and responsive. By continually challenging the mind, we will find ourself better able to solve problems and meet challenges. Mental renewal activities may include:-Read books. Books open and expand mind -Keep a journal. A journal can become a place to meet issues and work out problems -Write creatively. Writing is both therapeutic and rewarding. -Listen to uplifting music. The works of many composers are timeless and edifying. -Collect quotations. The sentiments of great people stimulate the mind. -Have a hobby. Many hobbies stimulate the brain and can be relaxing and personal fulfilling.

Spiritual Renewal The spiritual dimension is our source of meaning and purpose. Spiritual activities uplift and inspire us, and they help us discover and understand our mission and purpose. They reinforce our commitment to our mission and values. Here are some suggestions to Sharpen the Saw spiritually:-Create, review and refine your mission statement.-Watch, listen and observe the world of nature. -Study great literature. Literature is great when the author uniquely illustrates timeless themes -Read biographies. Those who have became great examples of spiritual values in action -Appreciate music and art. Great music and art are pure expressions of spiritual value. -Build integrity. Commit to a life of total integrity -Practice religious worship that uplifts and edifies.-Cultivate a rich private life.

Social/Emotional Renewal Making deposits in the Emotional Bank Account of others develops the social/emotional dimension. Meeting new people and deepening existing relationship allow to Sharpen the Saw socially. We grow in the dimension every time we encounter a new social or emotional challenge. In this way, even social experiences we might consider unpleasant can enrich us. Following are additional suggestions to Sharpen the Saws: -Build new friendships. Be open to widening your circle of friends

- -Cultivate family relations. Family includes immediate and extended family-brother, parents, grandparents -Keep your relationship in constant repair. Attend to the courtesies, listen to understand, keep commitments and sincerely apologize when you make withdrawal.- Engage in creative work and service. Acts of service, particularly anonymous acts, transform people by increasing their awareness of sensitivity to others. -Value the differences in others and look for opportunities to synergize.

THE UPWARD SPIRAL Renewal is a principle and process that allows us to move on an upward spiral of growth, change, and continuous improvement. As you apply the Law of the Harvest (As you sow, so shall you reap), you will reap personal well-being. And, in the context of the Seven Habits, Seven Habits living will build effectiveness. Renewal is a lifetime journey. We make progress through regular, small steps. Sometimes we even make large jumps with Paradigm Shifts. Other times, we might slide down the spiral as we struggle with daily challenges. The Seven Habits are powerful learning process. Consciously using the Seven Habits, you can start and follow a course of continuous development throughout your life.

PRINCIPLE-CENTERED LIVINGPRINCIPLESWORKSELFFRIENDMONEYPOSSESSIONSPLEASUREENEMYRELIGIOUSORGANIZATIONSPOUSEFAMILY

The only constant in life is change. People cannot live with change if they dont have a changeless core inside them. Whatever is at the center of their lives will be the source of their security, guidance, wisdom and power.

Security - sense of worth

Guidance - source of direction in life

Wisdom - perspective in life

Power - capacity to act