the science of trust and repair: helping couples heal...
TRANSCRIPT
NORTHWEST BEHAVIORAL HEALTH IPA PRESENTS
JOHN GOTTMAN, PHD AND
JULIE SCHWARTZ GOTTMAN, PHD
THE SCIENCE OF TRUST AND REPAIR: HELPING COUPLES HEAL
St. Luke?s Educat ion Center
3333 Squal icum Parkway
BELLINGHAM, WASHINGTON
Friday, Apri l 21, 2017
8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.
JOHN GOTTMAN, PHDJULIE SCHWARTZ GOTTMAN, PHD
THE PRESENTERS
JOHN GOTTMAN, PHD
Dr. John Gottman is world renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, voted as one of the top 10 Most Inf luential Therapists of the past quarter century by the Psychotherapy Networker. John Gottman has conducted 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples, has authored or co-authored more than 40 books, including New York Times Best Seller, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and What Makes Love Last? Dr. Gottman is sought after by the media as an international relationship expert and has had appearances on Oprah, Anderson Cooper, Good Morning America, Today and many more. Dr. Gottman provides training for clinicians, teaches workshops for couples, and provides marathon therapy.
JULIE SCHWARTZ GOTTMAN, PHD
Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman is co-founder and President of The Gottman Institute. She is a highly respected Clinical Psychologist, voted Washington State Psychologist of the Year. She co-created The Gottman Institute?s immensely popular programs, The Art & Science of Love weekend workshops for couples, the Bringing Baby Home program for expectant parents, and the Emotion Coaching Educator Program, as well as the Institute?s clinical training program. Dr. Schwartz Gottman also designed and co-created the program, Couples Together Against Violence. She has authored and co-authored several books including, 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, The Man?s Guide to Women, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, And Baby Makes Three, and The Marriage Clinic Casebook. Dr. Julie Gottman is in private practice specializing in working with distressed couples, abuse and trauma survivors, those with substance abuse problems and their partners as well as cancer patients and their families. Dr. Gottman provides marathon therapy, and teaches workshops for couples and clinicians.
WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION: THE SCIENCE OF TRUST
THE SCIENCE OF TRUST AND REPAIR: HELPING COUPLES HEAL
World renown relationship expert Dr. John Gottman?s newest research reveals the dynamics of betrayal and how to safeguard (or heal) your relationship. Dr. Gottman will discuss his new theory, which is based on this research of how to conceptualize ?trust? and ?betrayal? using interdependence game theory. Trust and betrayal metrics here are not personality traits, but characteristics of daily interaction processes.
Join Dr. Gottman as he presents practical f lowcharts for how couples build trust and loyalty, versus how couples build distrust and betrayal. The social skil l of ?emotional attunement? will be described precisely. New strategies for preventing distrust and betrayal, and strategies for healing from betrayal will be presented. During this presentation, these concepts will be il lustrated from actual cases.
WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION: AFTERMATH OF A FIGHT
HELPING COUPLES HEAL AND REGAIN TRUST
How can you help couples recover from inevitable hurts, f ights, and betrayals? Dr. Julie Gottman describes a scientif ically tested method to teach couples the tools they need to process and repair f ights and regrettable incidents. Dr. Gottman brief ly summarizes the research, especially what makes conflicts swing awry. She describes in detail a structured approach to gently ushering couples dyadically towards recovery. This process doesn't solely rely on the therapist, but is one that the couple can take home and practice themselves. This method can be used not only with daily missed connections and sleights, but with heartbreaking betrayals as well. By this talk's conclusion, therapists will be able to clearly guide their clients towards recovery and healing.
WORKSHOP OBJECTIVES
THE SCIENCE OF TRUST AND REPAIR: HELPING COUPLES HEAL
Attend this dynamic workshop and you will learn to:
- Describe the fundamental process for building or eroding trust. - Explain the fundamental process for building loyalty or eroding
loyalty. - Discuss the broad outlines of a three-phase therapy for healing
from betrayal.- Describe research f indings regarding the importance of repairing
past regrettable incidents for relationship stability. - Describe and demonstrate the Gottman method for dyadic repair
of past conflicts. - Describe a ?Dan Wile? intervention.
WORKSHOP SCHEDULE
THE SCIENCE OF TRUST AND REPAIR: HELPING COUPLES HEAL
7:45 am Registration
8:20 am Opening Remarks
8:30 am John - Science of Trust, part one
10:00 am Break
10:15 am John - Science of Trust, part two
11:45 am John - Q and A
12:15 pm Lunch Break
1:15 pm Julie - Aftermath of a Fight, part one
2:30 pm Break
2:45 pm Julie - Aftermath of a Fight, part two
3:30 pm Julie - Q and A
4:00 pm End of Day
WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION
I. GOTTMAN RESEARCH AND METHODS
1. Previous work with couples
2. Basic research and intervention research
3. What predicts divorce
II. THE SOUND RELATIONSHIP HOUSE THEORY AND THE 7 PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING RELATIONSHIPS WORK
III. THE SCIENCE OF TRUST
1. Trust and Betrayal
2. Why do people have affairs?
3. Does Trust matter?
IV. WHAT IS ?TRUST??
1. ?ATTUNE?ment
2. Major research f inding on Trust
THE SCIENCE OF TRUST
JOHN GOTTMAN, PHD
WORKSHOP OUTLINE
WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION
V. CHANGING DISTRUST TO TRUST ? THERAPEUTIC TOOLS
Gottman-Rapoport Exercise
1. Dreams Within Conflict
2. Aftermath of a Fight
3. Guide to Great Listening
4. The Stress-Reducing Conversation
VI. BETRAYAL
1. Negative CL-ALTs begin the cascade toward Betrayal
2. What is a Negative CL-ALT ?
3. Case example
4. Gottman-Rusbult-Glass Cascade toward Betrayal (24-Steps)
VII. HEALING FROM AN AFFAIR: Gottman Atone, ATTUNE, Attach therapy
VIII. SUMMARY
THE SCIENCE OF TRUST
JOHN GOTTMAN, PHD
WORKSHOP OUTLINE
WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION
I. Research Background
A. Gottman and Levenson studies, 40 years with over 7,000 couples
B. What predicts whether couples will separate or stay together?
C. Findings regarding conflict
II. The Zeigarnik Effect - why couples can't "put it behind them"
III. The Importance of Repair for Relationships to Succeed
IV. How to Process a Fight or Regrettable Incident
A. Feelings
B. Subjective Realit ies
C. Triggers
D. Responsibil it ies
E. Changes requested
V. Adding in a "Dan Wile" Intervention
VI. Processing Attachment Injuries
AFTERMATH OF A FIGHT
JULIE GOTTMAN, PHD
WORKSHOP OUTLINE
WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION
WHAT IS NWBHIPA?
What is NWBHIPA?
The Northwest Behavioral Health Independent Provider Association is a not-for-prof it group of over 261 mental health providers throughout Whatcom, Skagit, Island and San Juan counties in Washington State. The NWBHIPA is now in its 14th year and is dedicated to providing quality mental health care that is safe and confidential to patients and collegial support and excellent educational opportunities to members. Membership in the NWBHIPA is available for a one-time fee of $150. Benefits include discounted tuit ion to all NWBHIPA sponsored continuing education workshops.
This workshop is approved for 6 cont inuing educat ion credits by the Northwest Behavioral Heal th Independent Providers Associat ion (NWBHIPA). NWBHIPA is approved by the American Psychological Associat ion to sponsor cont inuing educat ion for psychologists. NWBHIPA maintains responsibi l i ty for this program and its content .
FOR INFORMATION CONTACT
RICHARD SPITZER, PH.D.
(360) 671-1966
THE SCIENCE OF TRUST AND REPAIR: HELPING COUPLES HEAL
John Gottman, PhD, and Jul ie Schwartz Got tman, PhD
FRIDAY, APRIL 21, 2017 8:30 A.M. TO 4:00 P.M.St. Luke?s Educat ion Center 3333 Squal icum Parkway
BELLINGHAM, WASHINGTON
Register online here.
Register by mail here.
REGISTRATION
$139 IPA members
$169 non IPA members
$75 student with current ID
(Late fee of $15 added after April 7, 2017)
$150 IPA Membership one-time fee
Certif icates of completion available to all attendees.
Registration includes lunch.
Pay ONLINE using PayPal or by check or money order payable to NWBHIPA and mailed to NWBHIPA, PO Box 1661, Mount Vernon, WA 98273-1661.
CANCELLATION POLICY
Full refunds minus a $25 processing fee will be offered with written requests received by April 7, 2017.
ACCOMMODATIONS
Special room rates have been made available at the Hampton Inn in Bellingham for $89 per night. Reservations: (360) 676-7700. Code CHXIPA.
Click here for Hampton Inn Reservations
REGISTRATION INFORMATION