The Restroom

I needed to use the restroom and The Olive Garden was the only available restaurant.They denied me access

and everyone denied me access from then on.I stood at the gates of Cubawith my sunglasses and bikinis.Havana didn’t open after some hours so I turned aroundand swam back to Miami.A great white shark ate me up

and I waited at the gates of Heaven,a briefcase in one hand and a Polaroid camera in the other,but God just shook his head no

so I asked to go backhome to Pittsburgh. He gave me

a second chance so I took itand spent it at the AMC Theaters.I paid in quarters and

they denied me access to a Rated R film.I said that my mother would let me see it,

but that wasn’t enough. The lemon chicken soup was merely waterand I was still hungry.I only had one quarter left.

I slid it in the jukeboxand the waiter finally let me go.

Thank you, Mr. Waiter,that’s what this is really about.