THE PYGMALION EFFECT -EXPECTATION THEORY

Extract from a forthcoming book ‘Saudade’ by Dr Brian Gordon

1.1 What is the Pygmalion effect?

I am not who I think I am, I am not who you think I am, I am who I think you think I am. (Robert Schuller)

One of the problems we face in choosing our own path and opening up our paradigms is that much of who we are and what we believe about ourselves has been shaped by the expectations of others. The above quote may sound convoluted but when you think on it you will see that it is so true. Unconsciously we tend to live life to a greater or lesser degree as chameleons. We change our nature, and responses to match what we believe are the expectations of others. Have you ever been away from your parents, or a particular group of friends, for some long while and then, when you see them again, you find yourself slipping back into ‘old ways of behaving’ around them?

Our belief in the possibility of change, our acceptance of the possibilities afforded by the inner workings of the brain and the external Laws of the Universe can only be realised if we have the strength to stand against these conforming pressures that exist in the populated world we live in. For most of the time we are totally unaware of our conforming nature. This is because the synaptic connections have been long established that lead us to conform.

In general terms, when we were children, we sort of knew what we were good at, even if others didn’t; but the tragedy of growing older is that, for many people, that clarity faded with the passage of those early years – the childhood, teen years and then adult life. So we started listening to the world around us more closely than we did to our authentic inner being. In essence we lost confidence in who we felt we really were and what we could do.

In looking at the brain in an earlier chapter we saw how this plays out as we age. We noted that what tends to happen is that as we grow into the autumn of life (much earlier for some) we try to micromanage our external environment rather than changing our thinking, our attitudes and our behaviour because we now find that information that does not match our beliefs is distressing. This is because our beliefs have been formed up by the prevailing wisdom of those around us in our younger life and by the culture we were immersed in and that ‘wisdom’ has been the bedrock of our existence. rather than address the incongruences of our learned beliefs, it is simply easier to change our external personal world to match our internal world. We may do this by being far more selective of people we choose to associate with, the places we go, what we do and what we watch. We avoid inner dissonance wherever we can. Instead we cling to our internal mental constructs that determine who we are, our values and what the world looks like; constructs that have been so influenced by others over the years that we cling to them, finding comfort in their familiarity. In the process we can become quite vocal, particularly in likeminded groups, in seeking to impose our world view on others…… and so the intergenerational cycle continues!

We are very vulnerable to the perceptions of those adults around us in our early years. Their values, beliefs and insights whether spoken or unspoken shape our neural pathways creating responsive behaviour. Other people’s perception of us can and does shape our performance. As a young child, I must have been about six at the time, I was repeatedly told by my father who was watching me play with a ‘meccano’ set that I was mechanically incapable. The consequence was that I began to avoid anything mechanical and it was many years before I discovered that actually I was as capable as the next person.

Let me ask you – did your parents or teachers ever tell you that you would never be able to do something, or imply that you would never amount to anything? Did these thoughts in some way find confirmation from friends, workmates, bosses, or others as you travelled through your life? Often such confirmations are subliminal; they are not stated and they exist below the threshold of your consciousness. It should be noted that positive affirmation by significant adults works with equal force.

Let me give you an example of how this plays out in real life.

Two researchers, psychologist, Robert Rosenthal, and school principal, Lenore Jacobson, undertook a series of experiments on school children to demonstrate that reality was changed by the expectations of others. In particular their study showed that if teachers were led to expect enhanced performance from some children by being told, for instance, that their children were ‘A’ stream students, then the children did indeed show that enhancement. In some cases such improvement was about twice that shown by other children in the same class. The teachers in the experiments were not aware that their expectations had been artificially raised or lowered by third parties. What was discovered was that consequential unconscious influences can be detrimental as well as beneficial depending on which label the teacher has been given for the child.1

This is known as the Pygmalion effect.

Rosenthal and Jacobson borrowed the term 'Pygmalion effect' from a play by George Bernard Shaw ('Pygmalion') in which a professor's high expectations radically transformed the educational performance of a ‘lower-class’ girl.2

The effect is sometimes also seen as a form of self fulfilling prophecy lived out at many levels of our everyday lives and in our societies. It is also experienced when we encounter people who are trying to ‘reshape’ who they are and some of those around them persist in relating to them as who they once were. This can result in their failure to achieve the change they seek.

This is most obvious when individuals are trying to give up addictive habits, change their diets, reduce their drinking, or break free from a criminal past. It is also encountered when individuals have undergone counselling and try to relinquish past patterns of behaviour such as being a victim or feeling needy.

1 Wilkepedia recovered 3 November 2007 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect#Rosenthal-Jacobson_study 2 History of education, Retrieved 3 November 2007 from http://fcis.oise.utoronto.ca/~daniel_sc/assignment1/1968rosenjacob.html

The 'Pygmalion in the classroom' study was followed by many other school-based studies that examined these mechanisms in detail from different perspectives. Prominent among the works on this subject conducted by U.S. scholars are ‘Student social class and teacher expectations: the self-fulfilling prophecy in ghetto education’ (Ray Rist 1970), ‘Social class and the hidden curriculum of work’ (Jean Anyon 1980), ‘Keeping track: How schools structure inequality’ (Jeannie Oakes 1984), and ‘Failing at fairness: How America's schools cheat girls’ (Myra Sadker and David Sadker 1995).3

By way of another example, Christiane Northup, M.D., writes in her book Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom of the Tarahumara Indians of Mexico. These are a group known for their running ability. Routinely, certain members of the tribe ran the equivalent of a marathon or more every day. However the most intriguing aspect of their culture was that they believed the best runners were those in their 60s. She tells of how Dr Deepak Chopra, (an endocrinologist and internationally recognised authority on how consciousness works,) reporting on an experiment by a team of researchers, showed that the best lung capacity, cardiovascular fitness and endurance were indeed found in runners in their sixties. What Dr Chopra points out is that for this belief to translate into physical reality the entire tribe has to believe it.4

What does this mean for us?

Well, for the most part, the world around us tends only to be concerned for what or who we are relative to their requirements. Faced with the world's indifference, we have got two options: either to resign ourselves to a life designed by the needs and expectations of those around us, whether spouse, parent, employer, friend or work colleague; or we can learn how to identify and then actualise our own strengths, making them relevant to our own life destiny.

There is a school in New Jersey, U.S.A., which has featured on a number of American national shows because of its unique approach. This school is the Purnell School for girls. It has as its focus those girls for whom the Pygmalion affect has worked to the detriment of their previous lives and well being. Unashamedly Purnell ‘accepts girls who will be happier and more successful in a smaller setting where their talents and personalities are celebrated and they are not lost in the crowd. A Purnell girl may have a strong interest in the arts, may feel she marches to the beat of a different drum, or may want to get off the bench and onto the playing fields. It is also a school for girls who are still trying to discover their potential, or who may have found success elusive in the past. A Purnell girl is someone who cares about her future and wants to make the most of her high school years. Sometimes a Purnell girl may have felt lost, misunderstood or unnoticed in a former setting.’

I should add that I have no connection to this school; but isn’t that a powerful vision statement which changes the experience of life for those girls fortunate enough to attend that academy?

Another example which touched me is occurring in Uganda.

3 History of education, Retrieved 3 November 2007 from http://fcis.oise.utoronto.ca/~daniel_sc/assignment1/1968rosenjacob.html4 Northrup, C. 1998 Women’s Bodies Women’s Wisdom Judy Piatkus Publishers Ltd London p489

Uganda has endured brutal dictators, the scourge of civil war and the deadly AIDS epidemic. An estimated 2 million children in Uganda have been orphaned by these calamities, 880,000* of them as a result of AIDS alone. (*UNAIDS stats) In 1994 a couple by the name of Gary and Marilyn Skinner started an unusual program in the heartland of Africa, Uganda. Horrified at the devastation of AIDS, wars, child soldiers, in Africa, and the consequent millions of orphaned children whose lives were shattered, who felt worthless, abandoned by God and man, and who became vulnerable to the world around them, the Skinners developed a work that is unusual in its paradigm. This work is called WATOTO. What makes this work unusual is that it seeks not only to house, clothe, feed, and educate these children, but to change the way they see themselves. Not as recipients of a hand out, of another worthwhile western based intervention strategy, but as being equipped to be future leaders in their devastated country. The fundraising slogan of the initiative is ‘Rescue a child, Raise a leader, Rebuild a nation.’ Their written expectation is expressed as follows:

‘Look at a Watoto child and see a leader, equipped to make a lasting impact in their community and on Uganda.’

The ability to reprint our brain to overcome the handicap of our early lives and other people’s expectations, is not confined to our childhood years. It is never too late to recognise what has taken place and how our attitudes towards ourselves, and others, have been shaped (warped?) by another’s beliefs and expectations and so begin to make internal changes that allow us to open the door to what life truly can offer us.

It is, understandably, human nature that causes us to see ourselves as ‘just human’; as small packages of cellular material matter, vulnerable to the seething cauldron of life around us. However until we stop seeing ourselves as ‘just human’ and rather recognise that at a deeper level we are pure energy, infinite, inexhaustible and irresistible, we will remain stuck in the same mental groove of other people’s expectations.

We are not a body that has a soul – we are a soul that has a body!