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THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 1 President ... Claire Dunne President Elect ... John Wallace Vice President ... Jane Harding Treasurer ... Bill Muir Secretary ... Jane Harding NEWSLETTER OF THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM FEBRUARY 2013 January is possibly everyone’s least favourite month----the holiday festivities and parties are over and the weather is usually bad. This year was no exception but compared to other parts of the country we escaped quite lightly. January 19th is traditionally the coldest day of the year across the Northern Hemisphere but if you lived in Yellowknife in Northern Canada the temperature drops to -35o C ! For an explanation of this try to catch a fascinating T.V programme called Orbit Earth’s Extraordinary Journey. Weather didn’t prevent us enjoying our club meetings. Who would have thought a talk on ‘Irony’ could be so interesting and amusing. We all thoroughly enjoyed David M’s talk at the lunch time meeting. Well done to the Foundation members who chose Ambassadorial Scholar Maya Dukmasova to visit us. She gave an excellent presentation on the importance of architecture which she said is the only art form we can never escape. She also made the interesting point that Rotary’s investment in the humanitarian importance of architecture is often overlooked. Listening to a young person speak so confidently and knowledgeably is proof, if it were needed, of the value of the Ambassadorial project. Maya can also speak fluent Russian , French and Italian. While at Rochester University she received, amongst THE PRESIDENT'S CORNER

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THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 1

President ... Claire Dunne

President Elect ... John Wallace

Vice President ... Jane Harding

Treasurer ... Bill Muir

Secretary ... Jane Harding

NEWSLETTER OF THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM

FEBRUARY 2013

January is possibly everyone’s least favourite month----the holiday festivities and parties are

over and the weather is usually bad. This year was no exception but compared to other parts

of the country we escaped quite lightly. January 19th is traditionally the coldest day of the

year across the Northern Hemisphere but if you lived in Yellowknife in Northern Canada the

temperature drops to -35o C ! For an explanation of this try to catch a fascinating T.V

programme called Orbit Earth’s Extraordinary Journey.

Weather didn’t prevent us enjoying our club meetings. Who would have thought a talk on ‘Irony’ could be so interesting and amusing. We all thoroughly enjoyed David M’s talk at the lunch time meeting. Well done to the Foundation members who chose Ambassadorial

Scholar Maya Dukmasova to visit us. She gave an excellent presentation on the importance

of architecture which she said is the only art form we can never escape. She also made the

interesting point that Rotary’s investment in the humanitarian importance of architecture is often overlooked. Listening to a young person speak so confidently and knowledgeably is

proof, if it were needed, of the value of the Ambassadorial project. Maya can also speak

fluent Russian , French and Italian. While at Rochester University she received, amongst

THE PRESIDENT'S CORNER

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 2

many other awards, the Iota Book Award for demonstrating scholarly achievement,

humanistic values, co-curricular activity and leadership potential. A year later she was

inducted into Phi Beta Kappa, the nation’s oldest and most prestigious undergraduate organization. It was a privilege to hear her speak and I have no doubt she will be very

successful in her career as a journalist.

I t was also lovely to welcome Hilary King to our meeting as we had spent time together on

the project in India. It was the second time Richard Luckes from Saffron Walden had visited

the club and both appreciated the warm welcome extended to them.

I hope our members who are holidaying in sunny foreign parts are enjoying themselves and

for those of us at home we can console ourselves that Spring is on the way.

Claire

THE CLUB PROGRAMME FOR FEBRUARY IS AS FOLLOWS:

Date

2013

Event / Speaker Duty

Member

Guests?

Feb 4th Lunch Nigel Chambers Alan H.

5th Tuesday Club Council Meeting

11th Cheryl Hill; Principal of the

Nicholas Hamond Academy

John

18th Tony Abel -- A History of The Abels Steve Yes

23rd Rotary Day

25th Business Meeting Malcolm

Mar 1st Friday RACE NIGHT Yes

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 3

THE FAMILY OF ROTARY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

this month to

DAVID MORRIS ( 17th February )

SNIPPETS FROM OUR SECRETARY

Dates for your Diaries

District 1080:

District Council moved to February 13th

District Council meeting Wednesday March 27th

District Assembly April 20th

District Conference Saturday October 12th

RIBI Conference at Harrogate April 12th

– 14th

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 4

a Smile from Little Dunham

Annoying little things

1. Scratchy Clothes Labels: they rub itch and make you seethe so you cut the label out

and make a hole in your shirt or jumper.

2. “You don’t mind coins do you”: always uttered when the assistant is unloading 19

coins into your hand.

3. Being asked to rescan at Waitrose: you use the hand-held self-scanner to save time.

Being rescanned takes twice as long and you can’t help wondering if it’s because you look dishonest.

4. Trying to work New-Fangled Loos: taps you wave your hands under, loos that flush

while you’re still on them and hand dryers so powerful they almost take your skin off. When did using a public lavatory become such a minefield?

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 5

and finally...

A Golfer’s Dream

I must be off to the links again,

For the call of the fairways wide,

Is a loud call and clear call

That cannot be denied.

It fills me with a mad desire

To realise my dreams,

Of tee shots long, and irons strong

To the heart of all the greens.

Then all I want is the magic putt,

And the straight and powerful drive,

To complete the course,

Using skill and force, in a brilliant 65!

( Thank you Jane. Ed. )

A ROTARY FACT

Unearthed by Malcolm while reading his book of Rotary history. (Yes, really! Ed.)

"During the Spring of 1931, the Rotary Club of West Ham had the opportunity of leading the way in what was to become a wide-spread national activity. The Vice-President of the Club, reading in the press that Paris had adopted the idea of giving white walking-sticks to blind people, led the way to the presentation by the Club of white sticks to all blind persons in the borough. The Club has always believed that it was the first to bring this service into effect in Great Britain and Ireland ( despite a very small scheme in Bristol ) and this example was quickly followed by other Rotary Clubs, approved by the motoring organisations, the national press and the BBC." Excerpt from " Rotary International in Great Britain & Ireland - Very Nice Gentlemen really " by Roger Levy, Continua Productions, 1978

( Not a lot of people knew that ! - Malcolm)

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 6

A REMINDER !

Rotary Club of Swaffham RIBI No: 1095 District 1080

Charity Race Night In the Pedlar’s Suite, The George Hotel Swaffham

Friday 1st March 2013 To Raise Funds For Rotary Youth Projects Locally And Overseas

(eg. Dictionaries For Life, Assist A Child To School And The

Rotary Youth Leadership Award - RYLA)

Doors Open 7 pm First Race 7.30 pm

Tickets £10 a head to include a buffet supper.

Bar Open All Evening

Buy And Name Your Horse For £5 (Something Humorous, Personal but Decent)

Limited Number Available

Winning Owner Of Each Race Receives A

Bottle Of Bubbly

Programme Advertising Available At

£25 A Full Page

£15 A Half Page – All A5 size

Please Send Orders For Tickets And

Advertising With Chosen Names And Copy To:

Jane Harding 01760 721202 [email protected]

VOCATIONAL SERVICE

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 7

DESERT ISLAND

BOOKS

This month's castaway is Dorothy Pulsford-Harris

It is nice to know the Bible will be handy and a copy of Shakespeare. I was brought up on

Shakespeare’s Plays and Sonnets and had a marvellous teacher who instilled a lifelong love of his plays and the beautiful English in which they are written. I did once play Portia in The

Merchant of Venice at school. I sometimes wonder if that influenced my choice of

profession! Fortunately, I come from a family where books are enjoyed and reading was

encouraged from an early age. Our house was full of books of every description and we were

allowed to borrow them whenever we wanted. My mother taught me to read at 3 so when I

went to Kindergarten, I could already read well and never found it a problem at school. I was

always given books as part of a birthday or Christmas present and many of my much loved

child hood books are still on the shelf at home. And I still read them. Particularly the full set

of the Famous Five and I have introduced my 7 year old granddaughter to them. They allow

the imagination to run riot. We also had books by Louisa May Alcott, the Bronte sisters

(although I found Wuthering Heights very heavy going and very dark and brooding). I am

currently re reading Jane Eyre for the umpteenth time and still finding new things within the

book. I also have Little Women, Good Wives, Jo’s Boys, Little Men and still cry over them

regularly. Visiting Uncles and Aunts also provided yet more books to look at. I think my

brother and I were very privileged to grow up in a house where books were cherished and

much loved. Books on horses also figured prominently on my bookshelves and my mother’s books by Dornford Yates are also on my shelves.

I would also like to have with me a copy of the Koran and the Jewish Torah. All these will

provide a balance. The Koran is beautifully written and many of its contents are similar to

the Bible stories and will be familiar. My father had a copy of the Torah which he brought

back from Palestine in 1947. I don’t know what happened to it – I don’t have it and I can only assume it vanished some years ago.

My taste in books is very eclectic and my reading is always very wide ranging from books on

sea battles, to time travel, to historical novels. My favourite time of history is the middle

ages and the one person I would have loved to meet was Queen Elizabeth 1st

. I have a

signed copy of David Starkey’s book entitled “Elizabeth” which tells about her early life. I

would take that with me together with Alison Weir’s book (also signed by the author) about Elizabeth’s mother Ann Boleyn, “The Fall of Ann Boleyn” telling the story of that tragic lady and her terrible end. As a lawyer it fascinates me that her marriage was annulled before her

trial thus admitting her marriage never existed in law, so how could she be condemned and

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 8

executed for adultery? Unfortunately, it also made her daughter a bastard which doesn’t seem to have concerned Henry VIII very much at all. Elizabeth went on to become our

greatest monarch and I admire her very much.

I would also take Diane Gabaldon’s 6 books (so far – there is another due out this year) on

time travel. Beginning with Cross Stitch (entitled Outlander in the US), they start in modern

times just after the 2nd

World War when the heroine steps through standing stones near

Inverness and finds herself landed back in Scotland two years before Culloden. The stories

continue from there as to the problems she encountered, her love for her wild highlander

who marries her, the times after Culloden during the clearances, the emigration of

thousands to the Americas and her adventures as a physician during the various upheavals

which eventually formed the USA and her various trips back through the stones to modern

times at intervals. I can recommend them – they are riveting reading and once started on

them I can’t put them down! (The author now prefers to be known as Diana Gabaldon. Ed.)

That seems to be 10 books so far. As I have included the Koran and the Torah, perhaps I can

have an extra one or two. Certainly, my spiritual health is well catered for. Not sure if I can

take any more but if I could, I would also include “Elizabeth & Leicester” – the story of the

lifelong friendship between them and possible love affair written by Sarah Gristwood, and

David Starkey’s “6 Wives of Henry 8th”.

I have books on my iPad but guess I would have to leave that behind as I assume there is no

electricity on my desert island and I don’t fancy rubbing two sticks together with a piece of string to make some! I do wonder if a simple cookery book would be useful but whether it

would help with 101 ways to boil a coconut, or how to prepare a banana 60 different ways I

am not too sure.

Anyway, those are my choices – I think they would keep me sane until my rescue ship

arrived. At least I hope so.

Dorothy

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 9

COLIN'S RECENT ROTARY WEEKEND IN WALES

With the International Fellowship of Motorcycling Rotarians

Our first meeting for 2013 was at The Bear Hotel in Crickhowell, meeting for a Saturday night meal,

for those coming some distance, with the main get together being the Sunday lunch. Woke up

Saturday morning in Shouldham, to plenty of snow still on the roads and -5C. Not very good biking

weather I thought!! I am very quick with things like that.

However, as I was going on to stay with some friends after the weekend and then on to my son's

place, returning a car boot full of items that had been dumped in my garage over the years, I was

going in the car anyway. But it would have been a hard decision to make otherwise! By the time I had

reached Birmingham the sun was out and the temperature was on the way up at +3C. Roads were

clear and it was very picturesque with the snow covered fields all around.

Woke up Sunday to lovely sunshine, +8c and NO bike! So watched enviously with other members of the club as several bikes went through the town, in what was now lovely biking weather for this time of year. Oh well, the bar was the next best place, so we headed there and waited for the rest of the members to arrive for lunch. Our IFMR President has been quick off the mark so I will use his report to complete this short article:

"36 of us enjoyed a lunch to the expected standard at the Bear today, and thanks to Diana’s organising skills everything ran to time, and everyone got the meal they ordered. Once again

the GB&I chapter lived up to the word fellowship in the name of IFMR, with good humour

even though no-one, not even Hugh Berry or Jeff Watkins who said they thought about it, had

turned up on two wheels. Although the numbers on Sunday were a few less than some other

years, Saturday night saw 15 gathered around a table in the bar and well fed from the varied

menu, but back again for breakfast on Sunday morning to build up the reserves before a

healthy walk under blue skies in preparation for lunch.

My thanks to everyone for attending and making for a wonderful atmosphere. My thanks to

Diana for the organisation, and for choosing this Sunday, not last when I doubt the

attendance would have been the same. I hope our incoming President will be able to continue

the tradition which has now been at the Bear for about 10 years, and makes an enjoyable

start to the year, and maybe encourage Diana to do one more year, at least.

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 10

We welcomed one new face, Tony Fryer, known to at least Rob Gittins and George Rudge,

but we missed some absent friends for whatever reason. Those in less than perfect health we

wish a speedy recover, those busy doing other things – sort your diaries out! Particularly

with the help of Alan Cooper’s memory, we remembered the achievements of John Pile, and

our fond memories of him within the group.

The AGM weekend promises a good turnout, and I have confidence in Gordon and Jill’s planning, so for anyone who hasn’t booked yet – get your diary out and I hope to see you at

the Northampton Kneesdown , the Devon Delights, the Megaride, or in north-west Portugal.

Our Chapter is what we make it. Everyone has been very helpful to me during the last three

years which have passed extremely quickly and been an honour and a pleasure. Alan Kay

will do a great job, but please make life as easy for him as you have for me by offering to

organise the future weekends. Yes, weekends do require planning, but our experience is that

in itself is fun, and there is plenty of advice available if you choose to ask. As previous events

have shown, there is not a rigid format, if you have doubts about an idea, I can ask the

committee to give you feedback.

Summer is coming – lovely dry roads (who cares if it is wet?) – but whatever, ride safely."

Our next meeting will be our AGM in April, with a full Saturday ride out and a short run on Sunday finishing with lunch, when we all say our farewells and head off in all directions home. The number of bikes booked so far is 23, With 42 members and their partners all ready for another great weekend of fellowship with like-minded people.

(Photos are of the river running high after the snow melt and we geriatric Bikers and Biker

Chicks enjoying lunch. You might spot me at the far end of the room.) (Nearest the Bar! Ed.)

Colin

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 11

It's not whether you win or lose,

but how you place the blame.

You are not drunk

if you can lie on the

floor

without holding on.

Don't Drink and

Drive

You might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don't

succeed

skydiving is not for you

Red meat is not bad for you Fuzzy green meat is bad for

you.

Five days a week my body is a temple.

The other two it's an amusement park.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers

give the rest a bad name.

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 12

5 weeks into this awful nasty chest infection. Cannot shift the cough despite endless antibiotics.

Wherever I go, people are coughing and sneezing and now our senior Lab has started sneezing. She

is also losing weight so I do wonder if there is something wrong. My first thought is diabetes

although she is not drinking any more water than she usually does but Himself reports that she is

scavenging the rubbish bins in the office so he will tell the girls to lift them off the floor. Obviously

we don’t know what gets put into the waste bins which she may have eaten. She was also very sick yesterday so a visit to the vet is called for. Junior Lab is fine and is a happy little soul particularly

when we have my neighbour’s young Lab Holly for the day which I do twice a week. Holly is some months younger than him but such a sweet little dog and so affectionate. When she wags her tail

the whole body wags from the shoulders backwards.

Good to see the evenings beginning to draw out and the snow has gone although it is forecast for

some wintery showers this coming weekend. So glad to see the back of it. However, the fields are

very waterlogged which is making it difficult to lift the beet – the campaign being in full swing at

present. I wonder how many people realise that the sugar we put into our tea, coffee and baking is

actually made from sugar beet and not from cane sugar?

The farmers did a good job getting out their tractors with ploughs on the front to help the councils

clear the roads. The gritters get a lot of stick from people who don’t realise they are out several times a night in the freezing cold trying to keep the roads safe and clear and some of the lorries did

skid off the roads they were so bad but fortunately, none of the drivers were hurt. I really think they

deserve a medal for what they do not constant criticism. The very people criticising would not be

happy at having to be out all night clearing roads. They can’t even be bothered to clear their paths.

Not much sign of wild life at present. I have caught the odd fleeting glimpse of deer and hares.

Rabbits of course, are out in force and I have kept my bird table and hanging feeders well stocked

with food for the birds. Incidentally, the birds love broken up mince pies and fruit cake! I know that

pastry is good because of the fat content and of course, fruit cake has not only fat but fruit in it as

well. I have had blue tits, blackbirds, robins, a wren, sparrows etc all visiting and have had to keep

chasing off the pigeons and doves which are a great nuisance as they guard the bird table not letting

the little birds anywhere near it. Our own blackbird is very good at telling off intruders and will fly at

them shrieking abuse! Our Robin is the same and can be very aggressive to intruders and sees them

off very quickly. All life seems to exist around the bird table. Still quite a lot of shooting going on

DAISY'S DAYS

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 13

around here on the estates but it is now coming to an end and the pheasants can have a rest. Pigeon

and rabbit goes on most of the year and the wildfowlers are out on the marshes. The pink foot geese

have been around in their thousands and a wonderful sight it is to see them lift off, circle and then

drop down to roost again.

Some life coming back into the garden. I noticed my snowdrops are beginning to show through and

my miniature daffodils in the tubs have put up shoots which are now about 3 inches high. The snow

put them back for a couple of weeks but has not done any harm, but everything else is still bare

wood except for the evergreens. My Canary palms have survived – I brought them into the shelter of

the house which seems to have done the trick and the forsythia has flower buds on it. The Mahonia

Japonica has been covered in flowers which smell like Lily of the Valley. One of the bushes flowers

through most of the winter but the other only comes into flower in the early Spring.My Christmas

roses are in flower as well although one of them got badly knocked about by one of the dogs.

Trying to think of a suitable recipe for cold weather and came across this one in the Weight

Watchers book: Serves 2 and is 9 Pro points each serving. Double up the quantities for more than 2

people.

Chicken & Tomato Cobbler:

250g skinless and boneless chicken breasts

Garlic clove, crushed

1 teaspoon plain flour

Pinch dried chilli flakes

400g tin cherry tomatoes in juice (if you can’t get cherry tomatoes, chopped tomatoes in juice are fine).

150 ml chicken stock

2 Tablespoons Onion Chutney

40g self raising flour (for the Cobbler)

25 half fat mature cheddar cheese grated.

1 Tablespoon chopped flat leaf parsley

25g low fat spread.

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 14

Preheat the oven to Gas 4, 180C or Fan Oven 160C,. Heat a deep non stick frying pan and spray with

calorie controlled cooking spray. Cook the chicken pieces until browned, add the garlic and cook for

a minute. Stir in the plain flour and chilli flakes and cook for 30 seconds. Pour in the tomatoes, stock

and onion chutney and bring to the boil. Cook until just thickened. Spoon into an ovenproof dish (20

x 16 cm or 8 x 6 ¼ inches). Put on one side. Mix together the self raising flour, cheese, parsley and

low fat spread. Stir in 1-2 tablespoons water and make a firm ball of dough. Divide the dough into 4

pieces, roll into balls and arrange those on top of the tomatoes and chicken and bake in the oven for

20 minutes or until cooked, golden and risen, Serve immediately.

For an extra 2 points per serving, serve with 100g new potatoes and steamed asparagus.

DAISY.

**A NEW WINE FOR SENIORS**

A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted night's sleep.

Clare Valley vintners in South Australia, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot

Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-

diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the

bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as:

Pinot More! (Thank you Lawrie! Ed.)

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 15

AN ESSEX BULLETIN:- First: An Essex Hurricane Appeal

A major hurricane (Hurricane "Shazza") and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Essex

in the early hours of Tuesday with its epicentre in Basildon . The hurricane decimated the area

causing almost £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the

Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived.

Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to

come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon. One resident - Tracy

Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes

came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept

through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next

morning." Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Special Brew to the area to help the

stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities

of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Ratners and Bone China from the

Pound shop.

HOW CAN YOU HELP? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those

unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed

include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White

stilettos White sport socks Rockport boots Any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may

be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals Tins

of baked beans KFC Ice cream Cans of Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation

forms £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine £5 buys fags and a lighter to

calm the nerves of those affected.

**BREAKING NEWS** Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop

and were worried she had been badly cut... "Where are you bleeding from?" they asked, "Romford"

said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?"

and then.... An Essex Winter Story As a lorry driver in Essex stops for a red light, a blonde in her car pulls up alongside. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his lorry cab, and knocks on the door. The driver lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Sharon and you're losing some of your load!" The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the lorry stops for another red light, the girl again catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his cab, and knocks on the door. The guy lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Sharon and you ARE losing some of your load." Shaking his head, the driver ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the lorry cab door. The driver lowers the window again and she says, 'Hi, my name is Sharon and you really are losing some of your load! When the light turns green, the driver revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of his lorry, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window and, as she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin and I'm gritting the road!" (Thank you Malcolm! Ed.)

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 16

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE (1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and

you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes

is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game

before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you

should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often

misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer

back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make

to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how

and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're

welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' -

that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is

something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it

herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

A COWBOY TOMBSTONE

Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the 'Coolest Headstone' contest.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust to take care of you in all ways possible. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you

could end up dead like me.

(Thanks again Malcolm. Ed.)

THE ROTARY CLUB OF SWAFFHAM Page 17

AND FINALLY....

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire

dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a

telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the French, in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to

a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an

article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-

year- old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-

tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French."

A few weeks later, The British Archaeological Society of Northern England reported the

following:"After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in

2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found

absolutely bugger all.

Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

Makes you proud to be British! (Thank you Neville. Ed.)

My thanks to the many people who sent in contributions to this month's edition. Ed.

The Rotary Club of Swaffham

District 1080. RIBI No. 1095

"The Pedlar's Post" Newsletter - Issue number 92 - February 2013

Editor : Alan Jones

Email: [email protected] or [email protected]

All editions of the newsletter are available on the club website

(www.swaffhamrotary.org.uk) and can be downloaded.

ROTARY MEETINGS

At The George Hotel, Swaffham Tel: 01760 721238

1st Monday: Lunch, 12.30 for 1.00pm

Other Mondays: Dinner, 7.00 for 7.30pm