the periphery - issue 2
DESCRIPTION
Second Issue of the Periphery - Session Newspaper of Joensuu 2013, 19th National Session of European Youth Parliament Finland.TRANSCRIPT
The PeripheryMagazine of Joensuu 2013
19th National Selection Conference of European Youth Parliament Finland
ISSUE 2
TABLE OF CONTENTSEDITORIAL
CHAIRS’ TEAM
EU NOBELPEACE PRIZE
2012 TIMELINE
PICTURES
FISCAL CLIFF
POLL
JOENSUU SURVIVAL GUIDE
RECENT RISE OF EDM
EVENING PROGRAMME
POST-APOCALYPSE
SMALL TALK GUIDE
PERIPHERY OF THE DAY
2
3
Like a simple truck can turn out to
be something as incredibly powerful as Optimus Prime, we the Editors have the privilage of seeing ‘just young
people’ turn into the people of the future. That what society often under-mines, turns into a powerful wave of actions and opinions at a session. EYP ses-
sions show that youth are capable of and eager to be involved and be active. We are thought of as an under-achieving generation without necessary motivation to be the cause of sufficient
change. But here in Joensuu we yet again notice that when given the chance, we transform and show our true strength.
It all sounds exaggerated and overly highlighted, but that is caused by our disability to believe in how special some-thing like EYP is. How would a PhD specialist be impressed by young people playing games
and sleeping on floors if they did not see something great in what we are doing? How could we be sponsored by governments, companies, and foundations unless they
believed in the importance of what we do? Believe it or not, you are apart of something that is important and you are doing things highly valued by our society.
Transformers asked help from young citizens of Earth. They believed that we would be able to understand and adopt to the true nature of the cosmos better than the leaders of today. Be encouraged to prove them right, to break through the barriers brought up by tradition and try to think of what changes need to be done in order for us to adapt to the new, constantly chang- ing world. Question the truths of the past in order to base your ideals on the actual reality. Form your own opinions but never stop looking for better ones.
There are two more days left of the session. Make them count, enjoy, but remember that it does not end here. There are Decepticons threatening the world every day, you can help Op- timus in any way you see fit. Just keep in mind; if Transformers value us, we should value ourselves too.
Yours,
Robert & Alex
Idena, nos contia ompraestemus horatiae ad feciam hemquonsus, se, faucia dicae ini is auci conius diurobultis oc, et, fecesim ilicae con Ita, quem patimis consulario, nu viriust
contia diem quonsce rnius, es Maes ad dem. Hum, quium hori prat, is caesces orum laberce peritant, utem. Ebefacenatum aucidem oruntium de
acit, nox molum acia mei pereis. Onsus pulla dum et L. Sat in sen Etraecr ioctum, se quem des.
4
Petya Koleva (BG)
Karlis Caune (LT)
Lars Melakoski (FI)
Hanna Ollinen (FI)
Sofia Westerlund (FI)
THE CHAIRSby Riikka Nieminen
“Our lovely chairs told a bit about themselves and revealed what animal they
would like to be.”
“I love bacon and eggs!” “I’d be a fluffy bear”
Remember what she said in the last issue?
“My feet aren’t as smelly as Sofia’s!” “A Jesus bug, because it can walk on water”
“When I was a kid I broke a bone almost once in a month” “A cross-bred mongrel of a lazy sloth and a cute koala bear”
“I’m obsessed with people’s scents”“Definitely a sloth”
5
Randolf Carr (DE)
Lukas Rosenkranz (DE)
Hammu Varjonen (FI)
Marja Pentikäinen (FI)
Willem Koelewijn (NL)
Oona Kiiskinen (FI)
“I watched 4 seasons of “How I met your mother” in 2 week-ends!” “I would be a lion because it’’s the national animal of my home country”
“I do these little movements and use my hands a lot when I talk” “I would be a baby seal”
“I’ve played only 2 rugby matches in my life and both in the Finnish national team”“I would be a soft tiger like Hobbes”
“I like lunch and I have worked in a greenhouse in Iceland” “I would be a koala bear”
“I think I have a fetish for Finnish people, because no matter how cold it is, they’re smoking hot!”“It’d be cool to be a lizard be-cause they can be lazy but also superfast”
“I have a small statue of An-gela Merkel in my room and I look at it every night before I go to bed” “I would be a lobster”
6
by Philippe Dehio
66
“I can only hope that the Nobel Peace Prize will make us all take a minute to think about the peaceful unity we live in and the role you want take to preserve it. I did so,
and here we stand.”
EU AWARDEDNOBEL PEACE PRIZE
Following the announcement by the Norwegian Nobel Committee on the 12th October 2012 that the European Union (EU) would be awarded with the Nobel Peace Prize, the decision was met with confusion. Many even regarded it as an absurd joke and a sign that the Norwe-gian Nobel Committee lost the last of their accountability after Obama had received it. Living in a post-apocalyptic era, my opinion has become the opposite.War and conflicts in which tens of
millions have died has been the recur-ring theme throughout European history. With the end of the 2nd World War, an era of peace, democracy and human rights began. For over six decades, the EU, in all its forms, has rebuilt a peace-ful Europe out of the war’s ashes and brought stability never witnessed before, making Europe akin to the proverbial phoenix.Several voices expressed their disagree-
ment with the Norwegian Nobel Commit-tee because it may be an illogical time to
be awarded the prize. For example, the EU has stayed questionably inactive to-wards the civil war in Syria not to men-tion the massive arm exports of Member states. Furthermore, while Europe is suffering from major social unrest due to the financial crisis. The shared Euro-pean idea becomes weaker with every un-employed young adult in Spain and every aid package for Greece. It is obvious that the EU received the Nobel Peace Prize for its past achievements. My great-grandmother lived through
two world wars. What her generation experienced is beyond our imagination. The citizens of contemporary Europe mis-evaluate their situation. A grievous lack of gratitude and appreciation is a tendency sadly prominent in our society. Surely the 1.2 million euros of prize money will not be able to solve the euro crisis. Nevertheless, it sends a message to the European population to remem-ber the past and draw lessons from it. Above all, what is crucial is the mental
fortitude and social stability necessary for effective co-operation. In this time of crisis and doubt, we must emphasise the European model and EU philosophy.On the 10th of December, three EU
representatives received the prize. Her-man Van Rompuy, the President of the European Council, José Manuel Barroso, the 11th President of the European Com-mission and Martin Schulz, President of the European Parliament. These three men are the leaders at the forefront of Europe. In his acceptance speech, Van Rompuy expressed that, in a time of insecurity, it is important to remember the primary aim of the EU: to push the solidarity between European nations now and in the future. I can only hope that the Nobel Peace Prize will make us all take a minute to think about the peaceful unity we live in and the role you want take to preserve it. I did so, and here we stand.
7
8
by Erasmus Häggblom
88
There were several overriding themes in the events of the year 2012 around the world. Essentially, 2012 was the year of techno-logical advancement, with the possible discovery of the Higgs boson the key event; the aftermath of the Arab Spring as well as a continuation of it in nations such as Syria. The Summer Olympics were also a notable event, along with the strain between Iran and Western nations, particularly European ones. A similar rise in tension occurred between North Korea and the United States. Still continuing with escalation, the conflict between Israel and Palestine became more pronounced while the civil war in Syria was increasingly polarized.
2012 IN HISTORY
Januar
y 23
The Eu
ropean
Union
(EU)
adopts
an emb
argo ag
ainst I
ran
Februa
ry 1
At lea
st 79 ar
e kille
d and
more t
han 100
0 injur
ed follo
wing
a riot a
t a foo
tball m
atch in
Egypt
Februa
ry 19
Iran su
spends
oil exp
orts to
Britain
and F
rance
Februa
ry 21
Euroz
one fin
ancial
ministe
rs agre
e to pro
vide G
reece w
ith a
new 130
-billion
bailou
t
Februa
ry 27
Preside
nt Ali A
bdullah
Saleh
of Yem
en step
s down
in
favour
of Vic
e Presi
dent A
bd Rab
buh Mans
ur Al-H
adi
March 1
2
The Un
ited Sta
tes Cen
sus Bu
reau (U
SCB) es
timate
s that t
he
popula
tion of
the wo
rld ha
s excee
ded 7 b
illion
people
April
13
A North
Korea
n Earth
observ
ation sa
tellite
explod
es shor
tly
after la
unch, f
ollowin
g intern
ational
critici
sm of i
ts laun
ch
June 24
Shenzh
ou 9 d
ocks m
anually
with t
he orb
iting m
odule
Tiango
ng 1 Jul
y 4
The Eu
ropean
Organ
isation
for Nu
clear R
esearch
(known
as CER
N) ann
ounces
the dis
covery
of a n
ew par
ticle w
ith
proper
ties con
sistent
with t
he Higg
s boson
.
9
Augus
t 6
The Mars
rover C
uriosit
y succe
ssfully
lands o
n Mars
July 27
– Augu
st 12
The 201
2 Sum
mer Ol
ympic
s are h
eld in
London
Augus
t 31
Resear
chers s
uccessf
ully per
form t
he firs
t impla
ntation
of a
bionic
eye wi
th 24 el
ectrode
s
Septem
ber 7
Canada
officia
lly cut
s diplo
matic
ties wi
th Iran
Septem
ber 11
– 27
A serie
s of ter
rorist
attacks
are dir
ected a
gainst
the em
bas-
sies of
the Un
ited Sta
tes, Ge
rmany,
Switze
rland
and the
United
Kingd
om Octobe
r 24 – 3
0
Hurrica
ne san
dy kill
s at lea
st 209 p
eople i
n the C
arribe
an,
Baham
as, Un
ited Sta
tes and
Canad
a
Octobe
r 14
Felix B
aumgar
tner be
comes t
he firs
t perso
n to bre
ak the
sound
barrier
witho
ut any
machi
ne assi
stance
Novemb
er 14 –
21
Israel l
aunche
s Oper
ation P
illar of
Defen
ce agai
nst the
Palesti
nian –
govern
ed Gaza
Strip
Novemb
er 25 –
Decem
ber 9
Typhoo
n Bobp
ha kill
s at lea
st 1067
on the
Philip
pines
Novemb
er 29
The Un
ited Na
tions G
eneral
assemb
ly appr
oves a
motion
grantin
g Pale
stine n
on-mem
ber obs
erver s
tate sta
tus
Decemb
er 8
The UN
Clima
te Chan
ge Conf
erence
agrees
to exte
nd the
Kyoto
Proto
col unt
il 2020
Missing from the timeline (list not exhaustive):Re-election of Barack ObamaStrauss-Kahn goes New YorkDiamond Jubilee of Elisabeth IIEnd of Osama Bin LadenThe ApocalypseThe Hobbit premiereGangnam Style viewed over 1 billion timesWindows 8 is released
10
11
12
13
14
The American political process is complex and infa-mous for many reasons. Fisher Ames, a US congressman in the late 18th century, once described the US House of Rep-resentatives with the statement: “The House will rise on the 1st of June, and as long as it finds the world with the right side up, it will be content. Do not ask what good we do; that is not a fair ques-tion in these times of faction.”More than two centuries later, little has
changed. During the
last couple of years the American political debate has
become more and more polarised and once again Fisher Ames’s words become relevant. The House of Representatives controlled by the Republicans and the Senate controlled by the Democrats struggle repeatedly to reach any agree-ments. When tax cuts were expiring and
spending reaching historic highs, Con-gress stood paralysed by the polarisation. While the Republicans wanted more
spend-ing cuts than tax hikes,
the Democrats preferred raised taxes for some in exchange in favour of spending cuts. As no decisions could be made, all temporary tax rates were simply extended until January 1. In an effort to encour-age discussions (or discourage inaction), automatic spending cuts, or so-called sequestration, were added to the tax cuts.Combined, they amounted to the so-
called “fiscal cliff”, which might as well have been called “austerity crisis”. Going off the cliff would mean raising taxes on all working Americans while cut-ting 1000 government programmes. The combination would result in another recession, which could have cataclysmic
TIMES OF FACTION
March 2001Total national debt$5.8 trillion
by Fredrik Hultman
15
con-se-
quences on the world
economy.As January 1st would be after the
Congressional and presidential elec-tions, Republicans and Democrats alike believed that they had good chances at being in better position once the peo-ple had spoken. Unfortunately, status quo was preserved, with the Democrats retaining control of the Senate and the Presidency and the Republicans keep-ing their majority in the House of Representatives. So when January 1 was approaching, little had changed since the time when Congress was forced to postpone all major decisions, apart from the fact that the fiscal cliff was not that far away anymore.The Republican speaker of the house,
John Boehner, faced a real challenge. He
had to con-
vince the most extreme members of
his party in the House that a deal would be benefi-
cial. As he knew that any deal with President Obama and the Democratic
majority in the Senate would include tax hikes, it would be a hard sell to the far right. Without the support from the ultraconservative, Boehner’s speakership would be untenable. Naturally, Boehner still entered negotiations with Obama and Senate Democrats, to no avail, as the talks soon broke down. Come Christmas, no deal had been made, and another re-cession was looming. The salvation would come from an unexpected place.Vice president Joe Biden had been a
member of the Senate since the sixties, until he became Vice president. Dur-ing his long tenure, he had made many friends, both among Democrats and Republicans. One of those happened to be the Republican minority leader in the Senate, Mitch McConnell. Together, the two friends managed to reach an agreement that eventually lead to a bill being presented in the Senate. Once it was voted on, only eight out of 100 sena-tors voted against it.When the bill had been passed in the
dying hours of 2012, the House came under pressure. As a solution had been
found that had bipar-
tisan support, everything depended on Boehner’s Republican
majority in the House. Eventually the bill was passed, but with nearly half of the Republicans voting against it.Finally, the fiscal cliff had finally been
averted, but in the war of wills there had been no winners. Boehner was re-elected speaker last week, but with a tainted reputation and with a record low support from his own party. Obama had failed to lead and get a definite deal. The final deal raised some taxes and stopped some detrimental spending cuts, but it did not address any of the big issues. The US still has colossal budget deficits and parts of the fiscal cliff were merely postponed. Thanks to Joe Biden’s connections,
there will not be another crisis for some time, but the future remains uncertain. One might wonder whether this polari-sation is helping anyone. Although, it might be best to follow Fisher Ames’s advice, and simply refrain from asking what good such bickering does, in these times of faction.
“The House will rise on the 1st of June, and as long as it finds the world with the right side up, it will be content. Do not ask what good we do; that is not a fair question in these
times of faction.”
May 2011Total national debt$14.3 trillion
16
Janne Töykkälä (FI)
Nina Huovinen (FI)
I SOLEMNLY SWEAR...by Riikka Koskinen
“We usually don’t keep them, but we sure do like making them…yes, I’m talking about the New Year’s resolutions! We always promise to eat healthier, go to the gym every week, quit smoking or get rid of our stuffed toys because we are too old for them, but we rarely fulfil these resolutions. Nonetheless, the Press team was eager to get to know what you, dear delegates and officials, have sworn to do this year.”
“I’ll try and stick to my posi-tion as the president of the student union and do my best with the job.”
“I’m going to get a girlfriend.”
Ian Perring (FI)
“I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution next year!”
Anton Mattsson (FI)
“I’ll do my very best to com-plete my military service in 6 months.”
Malviina Heinä (FI)
“I try not to stress too much, I just want to live in the mo-ment and do something new.”
Marja Pentikäinen (FI)
“I will not make a New Year’s resolution next year.”
G
17
by Sofia Rostén
THE FINNISH WAY IN A WINTER WONDERLAND
1) Never complain. The Finnish mentality does not accept whining. One is not allowed to complain about such as the weather, the cold or the lack of food and coffee. If there’s a lot of snow you just need to deal with it and it doesn’t matter if there’s a zombie epidemic: it’s not like crying your brains out will make the hungry hounds or the walking dead disappear.
2) Moderation. Although our neigh-bour countries might be on their way to doom by increased usage of ethanol, the intelligent people of Finland have always been fond of moderation. Moderation in the traditional Finnish culture is a superiority: to keep ourselves warm we prefer hugging and touching each other. In order to survive winter or, let’s say a nuclear disaster, you should try keep your mind open and the bottle closed.
3) Bad mouth, bad luck. Cursing is something Finns find intolerable. Believing that swearing is a courier of bad spirits it is extremely rare to find a Finn going potty mouth. Therefore, unless you’re willing to drown in snow or die out of famine, do not use naughty language.
4) The sauna. While winter is cold, the Finnish sauna will be warm for eternity. It’s clear that nudity in strange company is not a big deal for Finns. Just to keep in mind the rule two, moderation is needed here as well: not to be too hot it is essential for you to go out running in the snow. Naked. During an apocalypse this is the place to be - since the sauna is a holy shrine, no evil thing will be able to penetrate its walls.
I
K
“We know it’s winter, we know it’s dark and we definitely know it’s freez-ing cold. Because we are a bunch of super-positive people, Finns have always looked life on bright side and due to that survived these extreme conditions for ages. As an open, helpful and extroverted country, we, of course, want to welcome everyone by sharing a couple of our magic tricks for the winter. This is briefly how and where we make it through hard times – follow these instructions and you will make it through anything from winter to even an apocalypse.”
18
by Tom Molenaar
1818
In June of 2012 Swedish House Mafia announced they were going to stop work-ing together. The last reward for their In June of 2012 Swedish House Mafia announced they were going to stop work-ing together. The last reward for their devoted fans was One Last Tour. As soon as the tickets went on sale, many of the servers crashed. When the smoke finally cleared, it became apparent that they had sold over a million tickets in ten min-utes. The three boys from Stockholm did the unimaginable. The electronic dance music (EDM) scene had its big break in 2012. They will transform music in the same manner the Beatles did in the 60s. DJ’s represent a new generation and were raised very differently compared to their predecessors. Instead of using instru-ments, they are using their computers to create the tunes so many adore. Young
musicians are taking over the world and the pace at which they are doing it is enviable.Music is one of the means by which
people can express their feelings. However, in contrast to news, films and speeches, everybody can produce music. The accessibility is what makes it special. Moreover, the response music evokes is one of the main forces behind its power. In EDM, the crowd – the people who truly appreciate it – is right in front of the DJ booth. This creates a very cosy and familiar atmosphere. Club nights in particular evoke this feeling. The critics will never be able to take that feeling away. Their voices might be harsh, but they will have to change their opinions once they see the reactions. New genera-tions are always criticised. Elvis and Michael Jackson survived it and so will
Tiësto and Alesso.Developing EDM up to where we are
today has not been easy. The process has been long and must be continued. It started in the late 90s, when continental Europe was hit by the raves. The large parties and festivals started gaining in popularity and the inhabitants of the countries were eager to take part. The Netherlands has been on the forefront of EDM since its origin. Five Dutch heroes are featured in the DJ Mag top ten. Furthermore, many Dutch companies have used their experience in Holland to create an amazing export. Consequently, the playing field was changed for EDM; its rise had begun. All across the world people started partying to 128 beats per minute. Ibiza has been known for its amazing clubs, one of them being the largest club on earth. The number of peo-
RECENT RISEOF ELECTRONICDANCE MUSIC
19
ple visiting the island has risen substan-tially over the past years. Even though many other parts of the Spanish coasts suffer from the Sovereign Debt Crisis, Ibiza remains unharmed. The popularity of EDM saves the island from poverty and unemployment.The musical heroes of tomorrow grew
up in a world filled with technology and computers. This allowed them to ex-periment more freely. Programs such as Fruity Loops allow them to use every in-strument. Thus, DJ’s are able to surprise their fans in many manners. What is even more surprising is their generosity. While Hollywood is lobbying for stricter anti-piracy laws in order to protect their astronomical profits, DJ’s are encourag-ing our generation to mix, edit or bootleg their songs. The results are generally quite good. This not only does allows new
talents to make a name for themselves but also creates a community of young people interested in the same topics. Social media have contributed to the rise of EDM as well. The success of Hardwell and Avicii would not have been possible without Facebook and Youtube. Both used these platforms to reach their in-tended audience. The popularity of EDM has slowly but steadily also transformed other genres of music. The collaboration between David Guetta and many rappers and singers is the perfect example of this phenomenon. Together, the artists were able to reach new highs.However, music remains a form of
art. In the past, lyrics were able to tell a story; Freddy Mercury was a master at this. Predominantly, EDM tunes do not have many lyrics. In spite of this, the songs are able to tell a story; grand DJ’s
are able to create a symphony. Beethoven and Mozart did not use lyrics and their world remount compositions tell a tale as well. The expression of music has more to it than mere lyrics.Tomorrow is a mystery, but it is cer-
tain that EDM will become even more prominent within the music industry. With sixteen year olds performing before crowds of 1500, talents are being uncov-ered everywhere. Until now house has dominated the charts. It seems likely that techno and maybe even dubstep will become more commonly accepted. The unlimited freedom provided by EDM gives every teenager the chance to become a hero. The nerds of the past are the heroes of today.
20
by Fredrik Hultman
The session had started well with the Opening Ceremony and some entertain-ing hours of teambuilding. After a well needed snack break, the evening pro-gramme started. Each committee had prepared a song that included the four magic words: zombies, cucumber, lamp and bow tie. Naturally, it was challening.However, the evening began as quite
a thriller, courtesy of EMPL I’s ren-dition of a famous Michael Jackson song. EMPL II continued by posing the question: “Zombie, why don’t you have a lamp?” to the tune of YMCA.Following this, ECON performed their
song despite the fact that they didn’t have much monaay. They vividly described their process of getting up, putting on their bow-tie and then discovering the zombies outside. Apparently, the song was filled with esoteric metaphors, which
is a shame, considering that such songs are only understood by a limited group of people (like the word esoteric). ITRE then demonstrated their astound-
ing rhyming abilities, finding surpris-ingly many uses for the word “bacon”, and were the only committee that didn’t do a cover. They also claimed that they could extract green energy from cucum-bers. It will be interesting to see whether that makes it into their resolution. DEVE continued by, to the tune of “e-i-e-i-o”, explaining how the zombie asked the lamp man for a bow-tie. Whatevaaaa tha’ means!The breath-taking SEDE committee
performed their own phenomenal version of the infamous web song “Severus Snape” . They were the only ones to shout out their name in the end as well, showing their already awesome team spirit.
After SEDE, REGI went up to pro-claim who they are to the tune of “We Will Rock You”. In the end, they also showed that they are as cool as a cucum-ber and ever so neat and original. AGRI then continued on the “We Will Rock You”-theme, with a truly valiant effort that included a real bow-tie. AFET provided the second thriller of the night, singing about the bow-tie-wearing zom-bies, and even used both of EYP’s official languages – English and French. INTA rounded off the night with a great rap, telling the zombies: “lamp on you”. With all of those magnificent perfor-
mances, as well as the very entertaining presentations by the press team’s very own Christopher Proctor and Riikka Nieminen; everyone got an experience that was exhaustiiin’, but that they will rememba’ fo’ evaa’.
“BEST EVENING ACTIVITY EVAAAA’”
21
AFTER THE END
22
by Christopher Proctor
The Apocalypse occurred on 21st December. Accounts of what actually happened are blurred, mixed, contra-dictory and in general completely and utterly insane. None of the survivors seem to have a clear memory of what went on during the days of reckoning, but what most people choose to believe is as follows: The skies were aflame, the seas boiled, and the Four Riders of the Apocalypse; War, Famine, Pollution and Death rode, bringing glorious devastation and destruction with them and leaving behind only chaos. Wars broke out, nu-clear plants exploded, food spoiled, and the world began its end.The presence and influence of the Four
Riders is still heatedly debated, but the rest is true. In only a few days most of the world’s nuclear facilities were de-stroyed, setting off a nuclear war which ended almost as quickly as it began, but not before causing total eradication. No
one is sure of who initiated the nuclear strikes because they all seem to have happened simultaneously, but as a result many a country has been completely wiped off the map along with most of hu-manity and nature. Soon after the initial wave of annihilation the sun was blocked by the soot and ashes of obliteration and darkness took over. Ice and snow ensued, and so the cold slowly took care of what the fire could not. Frozen desolation and radioactive wasteland is all there is now. Whether it was all caused by higher entities or humanity’s own stupidity is irrelevant, what matters is that life as we know it is now gone.It is estimated that approximately 8% of
the population of the world has survived the apocalypse, but with no reasonable means of international communication there can be no certainty. All we know is that countries in the north, such as Finland, Sweden, Norway and Iceland,
are doing relatively well compared to the rest of the world. Radiation is spilling in from Russia, but otherwise the Nordic countries seem to have survived nearly unscathed although other problems are beginning to arise. The surviving coun-tries have fallen into anarchy and many parties are trying to make themselves the top of the food chain one way or another and safety is no longer guaranteed to an-yone. Still the majority of survivors have begun rebuilding and trying to make the best of the worst. The next six months will be critical for the future of the little part of society that is still there, and will ultimately show if there is any possibility of survival in this new world. The odds are not in favour, but then again when are they? At the moment life continues no matter how much its definition has been changed within the last month.
“The skies were aflame, the seas boiled, and the Four Rid-ers of the Apocalypse; War, Famine, Pollution and Death rode, bringing glorious dev-astation and destruction with them and leaving behind only
chaos.”
23
Entry no. 1612.01.2013 Saturday
It’s so cold. It has now been 22 days since the ‘world ended’ as they say. After days of trudging through the blasted snow, sleeping in whatever shelter I can find and only consuming stale bread and urine, I’ve finally found a settlement in Joensuu – an abandoned school I assume – with other peo-ple in it. I have to say that it’s not ex-actly what I’d hoped for... It’s clear that these people are a group of lunatics who dabble in the dark arts or something else, probably one of those Apocalypse cults that have started popping up everywhere since the world went to hell. When I arrived yesterday they very kindly took me in, fed me
with bananas and coffee – which seems to be the only thing these people consume – and performed a strange ritual in my honour, singing something about moose and juice. I just stood there with a plastered grin on my face trying to stay still and not act out on my urge to run out the door and take my chances with the snow and the creatures. Still, they’ve welcomed me and they don’t seem to have any hostile intentions, although I’ve only been here for a day, so we’ll see. Mostly they just sit in circles and blabber about economics or human rights, stopping only to do more weird rituals or to consume more coffee, I don’t even think they sleep. It’s strange how happy, excited and oblivious they can be when the rest of the world lies in ruins, but I guess happiness comes from insanity.The people of the cult – yes, let’s call it that – speak in
a very strange dialect of English. It seems to consist of very nasal enunciation and stretching out the last word of the sen-tence. I’ve asked them about it, but they seem to have no idea what I’m talking about. But I do have to admit: for crazy peo-ple, they are very well organised, not to mention that they seem to have an endless supply of bananas. I’m actually quite im-pressed with them as an ‘organisation’. They have divided them-selves into different task groups with each having a unique function. Some sit around and talk, some watch the people sit-ting around and talking, some supply the food, and some well I’m not sure what they do exactly. As far as I can see it just generally consists of running around, snapping pictures and then running around some more. I have to say that this cult is one of the strangest things I have ever come across, but one thing’s for sure: I intend to find out more as long as I stay here. It’s a better alternative to facing whatever horrors are outside.
“They seem to have an endless supply of bananas.”
DEAR APOCALYPTIC JOURNAL
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by Victoria Lampe
Finns are not exactly known for extend-ing the frontiers of small talk. Often, they seem to not socialise unless neces-sary, and making them talk can be more difficult than beating them in a sauna contest. When I first came to Finland, upon
arriving at the airport, I was greeted by...nothing. All the newly arrived had positioned themselves tactically around the room, in such a way that an informal conversation was out of the question. When looking for the nearest toilet at the airport in Helsinki, it occurred to me that no one else but the stewardess had said as much as ‘hi,’ or attempted to smile at me since I left Oslo Airport in Norway. I had the impression that even when bumping into people, they would avoid uttering a word unless you or they were fatally wounded from the impact. If the collision was particularly hefty, they might mutter the occasional “oops”. It was as if the Finns followed some un-written rule to not speak to strangers.For a foreigner, this country can seem
inhospitable and unwelcoming, but I have learned that emnity is not what you are experiencing. You are simply experiencing Finns in their primordial
state, introvert, less talkative than their Scandinavian neighbours. If you take the time to get to know them, though, you’ll find compassionate people that are more than willing to spill their guts. It is there all the time, right under the surface of the seemingly inhibited Finns.When asking about this unusual behav-
iour, I heard a lot of different theories about why it is such a defining trait for the Finns. In attempting to explain, someone said: “In other countries, people
usually keep a distance to others of about one meter. In Finland, they keep a distance of one meter to people they don’t know, and a distance of at least two meters to their friends”. Another story I heard was one about
a mother from the UK who moved to Finland. At work, during the first days, no one talked to her. Later, a welcoming
party was arranged, and her colleagues had quite a lot of champagne. They immediately let their uninhibited side show and could even be observed having a normal, informal chat with someone they did not know. Back at work the next day, none of the colleagues talked to her. Using public transport in Finland can
also be complicated for foreigners. When taking the bus, you are not expected to make conversation with anyone and Finns will let you keep your double seat for yourself for fear of intruding your personal bubble, choosing the option of standing on the bus. If you are the one entering a bus where all the double seats have at least one person occupying it, do not consider politely asking someone if you can have the seat next to them. Most likely the result will be that they nod tensely, bracing themselves, anxious about whether you want to start a conver-sation. Because Finns do not small talk, they can be a bit shy. And because they are shy, they do not small talk. Even so, the Finns do not appear to
sense an awkward silence, they are simply quiet. But if you can get to know them well enough, their companionship it is definitely worth it.
THE FOREIGNER’S GUIDE TO SMALL TALK IN FINLAND
“Because Finns do not small talk, they can be a bit shy. And because they are shy,
they do not small talk.”
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As is evident from the picture accom-panying this article, the talent of the day is featured for his amazing physical abilities. Juho Nikko started breakdanc-ing at the age of seven, and has danced ever since - even ballet. Today, Juho mostly shows off his talent at parties, but his agility is useful also for avoiding get-
ting hurt whenever he trips over or falls. A fan of the martial arts and flexible
enough to limbo low, Juho will dance when he hears music, and is currently studying the Russian language. He is always the first person to hit the dance-floor, and after seeing this, it comes as no surprise.
Juho’s role at the session is to be a representative of the Board of EYP Finland, a role that allows him to do the occasional dance and show off a few tricks when the rest of the officials are busy doing other things.
by Victoria Lampe
PERIPHERY OF THE DAY
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Joensuu 2013 – the 19th National Sessionof European Youth Parliament Finland
is supported by
European Youth Parliament Finland has received funding from the Ministry of Education and Culture and
the Ministry for Foreign Affairs in 2012.
European Youth Parliament Finland – EYP-Finland ry
Hämeenpuisto 17–19 A 10, 33210 Tampere
http://www.eypfinland.org