8/2/2019 The Pearls of Islam Reminder Series 5.1 - Thicker Than Water

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Pearls of Islam Reminder Series

Thicker than Water: Lessons in Mercyand ThankfulnessBy Nadiah Hashim-Arrifin

My family is crazy.

The constant drama of nosy aunties, the politics of

argumentative uncles, the annoyingness of sulky teenagers and

wailing babies; the cacophony that plagues any restaurant we

visit many a time being home feels like abuse on my senses.

But I cannot help but secretly miss this madness. Miss it, crave

it; and feel absolutely at home amidst it.

Proudly I will admit that my family does not function like

clockwork, were not the kind of people to front campaigns on

happy families, were hardly a yardstick for normal on many

accounts we have our issues, we have our problems; we

disagree, we argue, we fight. But we love.

In a Hadith narrated by Ibn Majah, on the authority of Abdullah

Ibn Abbas, the Prophet Muhammad SAW said, The best

person amongst you is the one who treats his family

members best. And I am the best amongst you to myfamily. There is such wisdom in his teaching, SAW - how

easily do we become complacent, become forgetful, become

unaware almost of the way we treat our families; how easily do

we fall in the trap of taking advantage of them because we

know theyll love us back anyway?

Indeed our families are a true test of character, of Iman and

Taqwa to Allah SWT. It is not just encouraged but commanded

in Islam that we show kindness and gentleness to our families,

even more so when ties have soured and times are tough. Abu

Huraira reported that a man said: O Messenger of Allah!

Indeed, I have relatives with whom I try to relate but they cut me

off. I treat them well, but they treat me badly. I am forbearingwith them, but they are harsh with me. So the Prophet ( )

said:If it is as you say, then it is as if you threw hot ashes

(i.e. they are earning sin), and there would always remain

with you (support) from Allah that will keep you prominent

over them as long as you adhere to this behavior. [Sahih

Muslim, Book 032, Number 6204]

'Umar (Radiyallahu Anhu) was heard to say, "Anyone who

does not show mercy will not be shown mercy. Anyone

who does not forgive will not be forgiven. Anyone who

does not turn in repentance will not be turned to nor will he

be protected or guarded." If the showing of mercy and

forgiveness ourselves grants us mercy and forgiveness from theAlmighty; a promise and reward far, far greater than any deal

made in this Dunya; why waste it on some petty argument, on

some small annoyance?

And just look at the lowliness of our nafs and our egos where

do we even get of being irritated, or angry at our mothers and

fathers when weve received more from them than we could

ever deserve? In every shape and form our families have

accepted us, supported us, cared for us; unceasingly,

regardless of our shortcomings and wrongdoings; and without

any expectation of recompense why can we not accord them

the same? Are we not thankful, when we re thankful for

everything else? "Worship Allaah and associate nothing

with Him, and to parents do good..."[Quran 4:36] Why arewe not thankful when it is a command from Allah, when we

know that it only by the Mercy of Allah that we were gifted with

such beautiful families, and for that our thanks are due to Him?

How then do we claim to love Allah when we do not love what

He has given us? How do we claim to love the Messenger of

Allah when we do not strive to walk the same path he did in

appreciating his family?

Perhaps its time we took a good look at ourselves and took

stock of whats plainly in front of us. I did; and was shocked at

what I saw in myself. Our families are a huge opportunity for our

Nafs to be tamed; and our souls to be taught patience, mercy

and thankfulness; a vehicle for seeking Barakah in our lives.

Who knows how long weve got left to serve our parents and

our families; for many the time has come too soon, and for the

fortunate amongst us whose families are still around us, let s

not lose out on this chance to make changes and come closer

to the path of obedience to Allah and earning His pleasure.

May this reminder serve to speak first to myself; and may Allah

SWT grant us all guidance and strength to be nicer, kinder, andgentler with our families InshaAllah; for one day we too will be

parents, aunties and uncles, grandparents; hoping to be treated

better by the very people we love unconditionally.

And as I glanced back, handing over my passport to the airport

official, onward to London, I noticed a sea of arms flailing madly

in the air waving goodbye, my father and grandmother leading

the pack with wide grins holding back tears - I am thankful for

crazy and wouldnt trade it for the world. Alhamdulillah.

"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except

Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both

of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [somuch as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of irritation or

disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a

noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of

mercy and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they

brought me up [when I was] small.'"[Quran 17:23-24]

THE PEARLS OF ISLAM

REMINDER SERIES

Monday 9th December 2011 15 Safar 1433 Volume 5 Issue 1

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