The Parents’ Role:What NOT to do Love Withdrawal

teaches guilt and self-blame

Power Assertion teaches fear

Continually Verbally Criticizeteaches self-doubt, self-loathing

Don’t give an option when there are none!avoid “is that okay?” e.g., “Time for your bath, okay?”

Parental ConflictMany agree: Divorce that ends parental conflict

better than conflict-ridden marriage.

Impact of conflict on children: Negative interactions with peers, anxiety about parent’s whereabouts, and increased behavioral problems.

Vulnerability to internalizing conflicts (self blame, role-reversal).

Parental violence -- aggression and withdrawal.

What about conflict resolution?Conflict not necessarily

good, but better to see resolution of conflict for preschoolers-teens

NOT true for babies!Should not argue in

front of babiesWhy?Cognitive load/arousal!They cannot

process/interpretOnly feel negative

impact of arousal on body

ReviewProvide children with skills -- social knowledgeTimeouts and withdrawal of privileges work (if

done correctly, consistently!)Consistency, explanations, role models --

induction/empathy, positive discipline (8:1 ratio)What NOT to do: love withdrawal, power assertion,

verbally criticize, options when none thereConflict not good, but resolution of conflict better

for preschoolers; not true for babies (limited cognitive capabilities)

Baumrind’s Four Types of Parenting

Accepting,Responsive

AuthoritativeAuthoritarian

Undemanding Uncontrolling

Demanding

Rejecting,Unresponsive

Permissive Uninvolved

Research on Parenting Styles: Child Outcomes

TV Parents: How to respond, based on parenting style?6- year old Michael and his four-year-old sister

Amy are playing with toy cars while their mother is in the next room. Michael is playing with a dump truck and Amy is playing with a fire truck. Michael grabs the fire truck from Amy. Amy starts to scream and cry.

How do you respond as a ________ parent?

Channel Heathcliff and Claire!

The Cosby’s are an excellent example of Authoritative parenting……FIRM, but loving and respectful.

To spank or not to spank?Is spanking good or

bad for children?

If spanking is okay, under what circumstances?

What are outcomes for children?

Why do parents use physical punishment?immediate complianceeasy compared to other forms of disciplineshow child who’s in controlteach right vs. wrongshow child “how it feels” to get hitshow children parent is upset relieve parent’s anger

Why NOT to spankImmediate compliance but no long-term resultsAttribute compliance to parent’s use of force

does not internalize appropriate behaviorNot instructional…no teachingModels aggressionLearns to fear and dislike parentIn some cases, physical punishment can escalate to

abuseArousal = Impaired information-processing

(learning/memory)*

Long term effects of spankingFew internalized moral valuesLower self-esteemRejected by peers -- aggressionMore troublesome to parents than children who are

not spankedAs adults more likely to hit children & spouseAs adults, may seek out abusive relationshipsMore likely to be depressed & suicidal thoughtsMore likely to commit violent and criminal acts

Which of Baumrind’s parenting types spanks the most of the four groups?

AuthoritarianWhat kind of discipline do

these parents use when they can no longer spank their children?

Review of SpankingImmediate compliance but no long-term resultsNo internalization; no teachingModels aggression -- rejected by peersMore problems as adults

hit children & spouse & seek out abusive relationships

depressed & suicidal thoughtscommit violent and criminal acts*BUT some mixed research findings re: race/temperament effects…

Adolescents, their parents and peers…Lies and deception

The power of peers

Social pressure and societal shifts

What works