Number 07 - September 10, 2013 - by Stan Paregien Sr - Bradenton, Florida

NOTE: The Paradise Report is a free publication in which Stan Paregien, Sr reports on life in Paradise --i.e., the Gulf coast of Florida. Stan and Peggy moved from Edmond, Oklahoma to Bradenton, Florida on

June 24, 2013. So The Paradise Report covers their adventures and misadventures in their new state,with lots of photos and other information as well. It is posted on or about the 10th and the 25th

of each month at www.issuu.com/cowboystan/docs

Good afternoon to ya:

Peggy and I had an enjoyable day on Friday, August 23rd, as we ambled over toAnna Marie Island. We toured their little museum and their little park, then we hadlunch at a restaurant on the nearby Rod 'N Reel Pier.

After that, we drove back to Bradenton and visited the Desoto National Monument& Park. Now that was quite interesting and very different, . . . and also suffocatinghot and humid when we were hiking through the mangroves.

Here are a few photos from that day:

Roser Community Church on Anna Maria Island, Florida

This is the "Rod N Reel Pier" and restaurant on Anna Marie Island. It is, well, rusticbut the food is pretty good. And there are always people fishing off the pier.

Stan with a good cup of coffee on the pier.Photo by Peggy Paregien

The invasive Japanese plant called "Kudzu" tends to take over everything.

The Definition of aVegetarian

by Stan Paregien SrCopyrighted July 10, 2013.

Phil, my next door a neighbor, is an avid hunterAnd he is a pretty darned good one, too.

One winter evening he had a dinner at his houseFor my wife and I and a neighbor named Sue.

My friend, the Great White Hunter, servedA plate of delicious smelling venison to us all.But our mutual neighbor Sue only ate a salad,

And seemed a bit miffed we were having a ball.

With a haughty look, Sue said to little Eddie,The nine-year old son of our host that night:

"Tell me something, my young man," she said,"What is a vegetarian?" trying the boy to excite.

She didn't know it but Eddie has been huntingSince he turned six, and bashful he was not.

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me about them folks."A vegetarian is just a bad hunter and a fusspot."

Trouble in Paradise

I share such information, periodically, to offset any misconceptionthat our "Paradise" here means perfection. It ain't. But it isawfully pretty and has lots of solid citizens along with a very

few bad apples.

The Leaky Refrigerator

by Stan Paregien SrCopyrighted July 15, 2013.

Cindy Pawson was ecstatic seeing her old refrigeratorEscorted from her kitchen domain,

And she joyfully watched the deliverymen bring insideA new black one with the Whirlpool name.

It had everything her old refrigerator did not--Water and ice dispensers and much more.

And she swore it had a "new car smell" each timeShe opened those big double doors.

The deliverymen dutifully hooked it up andPlugged it in and set the controls just right.

So at bedtime Cindy drifted off to sleepAnd dreamed about her Whirlpool all night.

Unfortunately, on Tuesday morning she noticedA big puddle near the refrigerator door.

She immediately got on her phone to the dealer,And he sent a serviceman out from the store.

The fix-it-man looked at the puddle and thenReplaced the small water hose with a flash.

Meanwhile, Cindy just knew the problem ended,But such thinking was a wee bit rash.

You see, it sure didn't turn out quite like that,For another puddle was there the next day.

The same serviceman came right back out andReplaced the ice dispenser and went his way.

However, on Thursday morning Cindy foundA similar big puddle on the kitchen floor.

The poor serviceman, also stumped, came backAnd replaced the entire refrigerator door.

While Cindy and the repairman stood discussing

The perplexing case of the puddle plague,Her big Shepherd dog walked to the fridge, stood up

And hit the ice button with his right front leg.

The dog happily watched as several ice cubsHit the floor and he slurped up two or three.That left four ice cubes on the kitchen floor,Beginning to melt, as they could clearly see.

Cindy's eyes opened wide and she gasped,Finally exclaiming, "Oh, my! That's it!"

The service man's words were more earthy,Just two words rhyming with "Oly pit!"

NOTE: My thanks to my Tennessee hillbilly cousin,Jerry Paregien, for the story on which

I based this poem.

World Rowing ChampionshipComing to Manatee-Sarasota

CHUNGJU, SOUTH KOREA -- In an unanimous decision Sunday night, August31st, the FISA board awarded Manatee-Sarasota counties the World RowingChampionship in 2017.

Winning the bid means more than a high profile on a world stage. It also meanspumping millions of tourism dollars into the local economy and more jobs for areaworkers as the region prepares for as many as 100,000 visitors to descend in 2017.

After waiting nervously for the vote, area leaders were elated to get a unanimousdecision, despite concerns raised about hurricane season. It is the first time in morethan 20 years the United States will play host to the World Rowing Championship.

"We have so much to be proud of today," said Manatee County CommissionChairman Larry Bustle, who was in Korea for the announcement. "This news wouldnot have been possible without the incredible commitment and vision of the tourist

development councils and county commissions from both Manatee and Sarasotacounties and without the extraordinary focus and dedication of staff."

With this week's announcement comes an immediate spotlight on the area."Over the next four years, the Sarasota-Bradenton area will have the rareopportunity to showcase globally how beautiful our destination is to visit," saidElliott Falcione, executive director of the Bradenton Area Convention and VisitorsBureau. "It is truly great to see how two communities can jointly set a goal andaccomplish that goal by working in a diligent and unselfish manner. We believe thatthis type of event will no doubt generate future business and real estate opportunitiesin our community that is vital to our future economy; that's what makes thisaccomplished objective so special."

"This is just a fantastic accomplishment to be able to host the championship for thefirst time since 1994," said Glenn Merry, chief executive officer of US RowingAssociation, which oversees the sport of rowing in the United States.

"It puts Sarasota-Bradenton on the map of serious Olympic-level sports, not just forrowing, but for triathlon, marathon swimming and canoe-kayak," he said. "I think itwill continue to bolster the community's economy, and bring more people toSarasota-Bradenton for competition and training camps."

The 2017 World Rowing Championship is projected to attract at least 42,000athletes, coaches and fans to the county and be broadcast worldwide to 130 millionviewers, according to Sarasota County officials. [Condensed from the Bradenton Herald]

I took a photo of this pelican at a pier in Cortez, Florida in July, 2013

I've been sidetracked two or three days each of the last two weeks. Headache, achesand pains, a bit of nausea and stomach upset. In addition, on two different occasionsI've had two young ladies (medical techs, you understand) who have poked andprodded me "where the sun don't shine." I still have one investigative procedureinvolving, well . . . , let's just say my doc will be going where no man has gone before(not in my old body, anyway).

Somehow or other our big screen TV got a knock-out blow during our move fromOklahoma to Bradenton. When we turned it on, it just looked sorta like a lava lamp.Weird. So we finally bought another TV, a Samsung (i.e., South Korean) big screen"Smart TV."

Frankly, I'm more than a little leery about anything with the name "Smart"attached to it. Peggy and I have each had Apple "Smart Phones" for almost threeyears now, and I'm here to tell you it hasn't helped a bit. We ain't no smarter thanbefore. Except, we may have learned we don't really need a "Smart" anything andparticularly not a smart phone. I've decided to change to a real basic cell phone, onewith a rotary dial. Now that I can handle.

Stay tuned for the next issue, on about September 25th.

Thanks for stopping by and reading our little report of life on Florida's gulf coast.

--Stan Paregien Sr