the official justin timberlake braspberry...brsp-bry-bai-2018-#timber lake pg 00 braspberry assembly...

BRSP-BRY-BAI-2018-#TIMBERLAKEPG 00

BRASPBERRYASSEMBLY INSTRUCTION MANUAL

THE OFFICIAL JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

Pick a clean, smooth surface on which to assemble the braspberries. A granite, marble, or stainless steel countertop is recommended. If no clean surface is available, take your tool kit to someone’s house who’s successfully adulting and continue assembly there.

STEP ONE

Divide the blueberries and raspberries into two separate piles.

Make sure there is enough distance between each pile so the berries develop a longing for one another, but close enough together that they don’t get separation anxiety.

STEP TWO

Gently pinch the bottom of the raspberry between your thumb and pointer finger. Be careful to only apply light pressure.

STEP FOUR

Take a toothpick and gently inform the blueberries they may feel a slight pinch on the count of three.

Just don’t do that thing doctors do where they tell you they’re going on the count of three and then they do it on two. Because then the berries will be like, “Okay great. I guess I can’t trust doctors, or human beings in general, ever again.”

STEP FIVE

Carefully insert the toothpick into anterior face of the blueberry. Lift it up and inspect it for imperfections. Just don’t make it feel self-conscious.

STEP SIX

Take a deep breath. Like way deeper than you would think necessary, and hold it as you begin the insertion process. Go slow.

This is a delicate dance that requires a deft and skilled hand. Like docking a space shuttle or retrieving your phone from the car when you drop it in that little crack between your seat and the center console.

STEP SEVEN

Slowly draw out the toothpick from your freshly combined berry.

If at any time you feel your berry beginning to break apart, don’t panic. Simply step away, quickly binge watch an entire season of a show you’ve already seen, and then return to try again.

STEP EIGHT

Marvel at the creation you have breathed life into. Shout from the rooftops that you are a benevolent berry overlord! And then eat your creation. They’re delicious.

What else were you going to do, just let it sit there? What’s wrong with you?

STEP NINE

Give the berries an inspiring speech about teamwork and remind them that the following feat will require expert timing and precision.

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

STEP ONE

STEP TWO

STEP FOUR

STEP FIVE

STEP SIX

STEP SEVEN

STEP EIGHT

STEP NINE

STEP THREE

the official justin timberlake braspberry...brsp-bry-bai-2018-#timber lake pg 00 braspberry assembly...

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