the office- st. patrick's day potluck

8/9/2019 The Office- St. Patrick's Day Potluck

1/26

The Office: St. Patricks Day Potluck

Copyright 2010 Mike Murphy


2/26

COLD OPEN

INT. OFFICE - DAY

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHTRecently I have come to anunderstanding with my fallen enemy,the Internet. We Schrutes areproud people, but we are not aboveconsorting with our vanquishedfoes. I asked my colleague, JimHalpert, for some recommendations...

JIM & PAM TALKING HEAD

JIM

rustytrombone.com, clevelandsteamer.com,dirtysanchez.com ...

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHTHe was useless. Kelly Kapoorsuggested I try Facebook, which

suggests friends for you. Notthat I need any.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

DWIGHT is sitting at his desk and looking at his computerscreen. He begins clicking his mouse at a frantic pace ashis eyes scan the screen. His mouth hangs wide open.

DWIGHT (V.O.)My cousin/nephew, Mose, issurprisingly a member already. Anddo you know what is status is?


3/26

2.

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHTIn relationship. Who with?

INT. OFFICE

Dwight is at his desk pointing angrily at Moses profilepage. Moses profile picture is the classic blurry Bigfootphoto.

DWIGHT (V.O.)Dwight Kassandra Schrute.

JIM & PAM TALKING HEAD

JIM

This one was tough. Im not sureMose can read or write.

PAMWere not sure he even hasopposable thumbs. It was prettyfar fetched, but it worked in theend.

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD

DWIGHT

(angrily to camera)This isnt over, Internet! TheSchrutes do three things betterthan anyone: taxidermy, revengeand enhanced interrogation. Youcan expect all three!

END OF COLD OPEN

INT. OFFICE - DAY

MICHAEL TALKING HEAD

MICHAELToday we are holding a celebrationthat I am proud to say is a firstfor Dunder-Mifflin Scranton. Apotluck. And what is theoccasion? St. Patricks Day, the

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


4/26

CONTINUED: 3.

MICHAEL (contd)day that the Irish people worldwideconduct ceremonies to bring themgood luck for the year.

Montage of things breaking in the office: printer cover

falling off, a kitchen chair breaking underneath Stanley, ashort-circuiting light fixture over Kellys desk, etc.

MICHAEL (V.O.)Cut-backs have hurt us in manyregards. Yes there are thingsaround the office that need to befixed.


MICHAEL (CONTD)

But what we need more than anythingis hope, confidence and a littlebit of luck. We were unlucky lastyear with the bankruptcy, thebranch closings, the layoffs ... Icouldnt get the undercoating on mynew company car. Its been toughon all of us. Some believe thatthis was destiny, others say it wasfate. You know what I say? Thisis the act of a vengeful god whowants only a sacrifice, once peryear, to appease him. Who is this

god? St. Patrick.

PAM TALKING HEAD

PAM(uneasy)

At first, our sign-up sheet had onedish, a souffle, I think, thatPhyllis was going to bring. Thensix other names that were signed upfor cups, forks, knives andnapkins. But Michael insisted thatwe all bring something toeat. Said it was bad luck if evenone of us didnt participate. Andnow everyone is bringingfood. Even Kevin. And Creed.


5/26

4.


MICHAELIve been reading up on the St.Patricks day rituals, theshamrocks, the shenanigans, the

blarney and green beer. Turns out,you cant get good luck if youdont participate. Its a fact.

ANGELA TALKING HEAD

ANGELA(angry)

I was called back to work forthis. I was on maternityleave. One of my cats, PrincessMarshmallow, is having a litter as

we speak. I should be home nowwatching over her instead of herefor this ridiculous holiday. Ibrought salad. No toppings, nodressing. Happy?

MEREDITH TALKING HEAD

MEREDITHVodka. A la penne.

STANLEY TALKING HEAD

STANLEYMy wife buys bulk food at Costco onthe weekends. I found a plastictub of cheese puffs in the basementfor the party. Dont know how longit was down there. Some peoplemight object to me bringing thosethings. Seems theyre past date.

(turning sour)So was my Christmas bonus.

PHYLLIS TALKING HEAD

PHYLLIS(smiling)

My Irish soda bread. Its wonawards.


6/26

5.

PAM TALKING HEAD

PAM(pretending to be excited)

I went over to my moms last nightand we stayed up real late making

all this green jello. We packed itinto these cute little plastic beermugs that had shamrocks onthem. And then we gave each mug alittle whip cream on top to make itlook like the foam on the top of abeer. When we were all done, weput them on a cookie sheet in therefrigerator ...

(deflated)and thats where they are rightnow. My moms on a flight toJamaica and I dont have a spare

key to her house.

KELLY & ERIN TALKING HEAD

KELLY(very giddy)

OMG! So I was totally like goingto make this cake I heard about onSex and the City.

(together)Better than sex cake!

KELLY (CONTD)But I used way more chocolate thanthey said to.

ERIN(very giddy)

And I said you had to let me bringthe absolute best ice cream to puton top! Ben & Jerrys ...

(together)Chubby Hubby! Whoo!

Kelly and Erin jump out of their chairs and start dancing.

JIM TALKING HEAD

JIM(sarcastically)

A little history on how this cameabout. Last week, Michael, shortly

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


7/26

CONTINUED: 6.

JIM (contd)after realizing that the PartyPlanning Committee was completelydefunded, had a panic attack. Howcould we possibly go from theValentines Day party to the April

Fools Day party with nothing tocelebrate in between? After doinga weekends worth of research,Michael came in with a list ofdemands. He delegated this one tome:

Jim reads from a crumpled piece of loose leaf paper.

JIM (CONTD)cover office in four-leafclovers. When I explained to himthat they were rare to the point of

being nonexistent, he replied,Thats why theyre lucky. I hadthis strange feeling, a premonitionif you will, that it wouldnthappen, but I told him that I woulddo my best. What Ive come up withis a ream of Dunder-Mifflinsfinest Clover Green glossy paperand the kitchen safety scissors.

(smiling)Ryan!

INT. OFFICE - DAY

KEVIN is sitting at his desk looking around the roomnervously. With a worried expression, he gets out of hischair and walks past the conference room, looking at thefood from the corner of his eye. There are people settingup their food on the conference table.

KEVIN (V.O.)I just wanted to have pizza. Thatway, I dont have to make anythingand I dont have to remember tobring anything.

KEVIN TALKING HEAD

KEVIN(looking glum)

I didnt do either one.


8/26

7.

INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY

Kevin is in front of the vending machines selecting items,most of which are candy and chips. He opens up the candyand picks out the green M&Ms, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers,etc. He places the meager collection of food in a plastic

shopping bag.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Kevin walks into the conference room and sheepishly handshis bag over to a hateful Angela.

Michael walks into the conference room. He is checking outwhat everyone brought. The food is on the conference table,which has been pushed up against the window. The chairs arestacked in the corner near a large round object with a coverover it.

MICHAEL(attempts an Irish brogue)

What food might ye have brought,fine wenches and scalawags ofDunder-Mifflin? What lucky charmshast thou?

PAM(to camera)

Michael is fluent in both Irish andpirate.

MICHAEL(to Angela)

Oh look! Ive caught me aleprechaun. I get ye treasure now,little one.

Michael grabs Angela from behind by the arms and positionsher to face the camera.

ANGELA(annoyed)

Michael!

MICHAELIve got ye now! Its time to giveup yer booty!

Angela frees herself as several other office employees lookon, appalled.


9/26

8.

ANDY TALKING HEAD

ANDY(smug)

I made a traditional Irish stew. Itook a semester off from Cornell to

study abroad in ye olcountry. So... My contribution isactually authentic.


MICHAELWhat the hell is this?

Michael picks over a spicy looking dish with chunks of whatappear to be beef. Oscar hurries over and motions for himto stop poking at it.

OSCARMichael, please. I spent a lot oftime on that. Its a familyrecipe. I want everyone to trysome.

MICHAEL(in disgust)

It looks like ...blah. Death. Puke. Blah.

Michael walks away, shivering. Oscar looks at the camera.

OSCAR TALKING HEAD

OSCARIts called Lingua. Its atraditional Mexican dish. Ithought some people here couldbenefit from broadening theirhorizons.


Kevin looks at Oscars dish like hes looking over the edgeof a cliff. He looks at the camera and shakes his headvigorously.


10/26

9.

OSCAR TALKING HEAD

OSCARWhats in it? Peppers, onions,garlic, tomatoes ... and beeftongue.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Jim is sitting at his desk talking to Pam, who is sitting onJims desk. Andy is sitting with Erin on the couch near thefront door. Andy is tuning his banjo.

PAM(to Jim)

Are you going to try it?

JIM

Tongue? I dont know ...

PAMCome on! Chicken!

JIMI dont want to taste anythingthats tasting me, okay?

ANDY TALKING HEAD

ANDY

Its been a few months of slyseduction on my part, but now itstime for the A-dog to make hismove. Ive got my banj

Andy holds up banjo to camera.

ANDY (CONTD)Ive been studying under thetutelage of the Irish tenors.

INT. ANDYS CAR - DAY

Andy holds up an Irish Tenor CD to the camera while hesings.


11/26

10.


Andy is showing the camera the Claddagh ring. Then heplaces it in a chunk of Phyllis Irish soda bread. Heplaces the chunk towards the back of the bread basketunderneath a napkin, as if to conceal it from anyone else

who is taking a piece.

ANDY (V.O.)Ive got a special surprise forErin. It is a token of mylove. With it I am proposing afirst date to a most classy Irishestablishment ...

ANDY TALKING HEAD

ANDY (CONTD)

Bennigans.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Andy is playing the banjo and singing a medley of Irishsongs in falsetto to Erin. The medley includes Oh DannyBoy, Tubthumping by Chumbawamba and I Would Walk 500Miles by the Proclaimers.

Pam turns towards Andy and Erin. To Andys back, Pampretends to stab him with a plastic knife. Erin glares ather briefly, then turns back to Andy and smiles. Pam walks

away self consciously.


The office employees are setting up their dishes andchecking everything out. People are walking in and out ofthe room.

MICHAEL(to no one in particular)

Yes! This is what I like tosee! People getting excited aboutthe pagan experience. Ive broughtsomething special for the occasion.

Michael reaches into his pocket and pulls out a clump ofclover. He holds it over his head.

(CONTINUED)


12/26

CONTINUED: 11.

MICHAEL (CONTD)Look! Look what Ive got over myhead! Isnt this crazy? Someonehas to kiss me, right? Thats whatthe official Irish motto "Kiss MeIm Irish" is all about.

Michael approaches Erin, Kelly and Pam as they walk by, buteach one scurries out of the way.

DARRYL TALKING HEAD

DARRYLIm not happy with Mike right nowfor the simple fact that I could bedown in the warehouse, like Iusually am for this holiday, eatingsome pizza, drinking some beers and

playing cards. But because hessuperstitious, Mike is forcing usto be up here eatingGod-knows-what. How do I know thatKelly, my ex, isnt going to poisonme with that spicy Indianfood? She knows I cant resist it.


Darryl enters the room with a container of food and standsbefore Michael.

MICHAEL(to Darryl)

Ah, straight from the hood, itsDarryl Philbin with ... What isthat, chitlins?

Darryl looks at camera and rolls his eyes.

DARRYLNo, Mike, this is a traditionaldish from West Africa. Its calledvontu bankyu.

MICHAEL(to camera)

Thats what she said! If shesRussian.

Everyone in the room stares at Michael.

(CONTINUED)


13/26

CONTINUED: 12.

MICHAEL (CONTD)(to Darryl)

What does that mean? Sounds likesome kind of voodoo dish orsomething.

DARRYLVontu bankyu? Nah. Its justmonkey brains, Mike.

MICHAEL(frightened)

Are you serious?

Michael takes a spoon and stirs the dish in Darrylshands. The camera pans down a bit to reveal a sign on theside of the bowl that reads "turkey chili." Darryl looks atthe camera.

DARRYL (V.O.)I dont know whats more insulting-- the fact that I have tocelebrate this unofficial holidayas if it was part of my culture, orthat this man actually thinks I eatmonkey brains.


MICHAEL(critical)

Am I happy with what Im seeing sofar? You know, some people arereally coming through for the godSt. Patrick. Still others, basedon the cheap food they brought,arent being fiscally pagan, to befrank. I feel that these people,because they have to pay out ofpocket for once, are beingselfish. For this to work,everyone from the lowest secretaryto the sales staff, the warehouseguys, accounting, customer service... Creed and Meredith, whateverthey are ... everyone must believe!


14/26

13.


Toby is snooping around the food with bewilderment as if hewasnt aware there would be a potluck today.

MICHAEL (V.O.)

(serious)Toby? He can bring the cups. Tellhim to keep them sealed in the bag.


MICHAEL (CONTD)I dont want his unluckiness germsinfecting anything.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Michaels office door is open. His cell phone rings (thering tone is Lady Gagas Bad Romance). Michael jumps upand grabs the phone. As he walks out into the main officehe puts the phone to his ear.

MICHAEL(excited)

This must be my mom calling aboutmy contribution to the feast. Beback soon everybody!

Michael leaves the office quickly.

EXT. OFFICE - DAY

Michael is walking across the parking lot. He is makinganother call on his cell phone.

MICHAEL(annoyed)

Im leaving for my momsnow. Shes taken care of it ...No, nobody suspects anything ...Yes, do it as soon as we hang up... No, I dont know how many cupsof beet juice equals a pint, Ifailed geometry. I have to go.


15/26

14.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

After Michael leaves, the employees start grumbling aboutbeing hungry.

STANLEY

(grumpy)We dont know how long Michael isgoing to be gone. And here we are,a bunch of adults, standing aroundwatching food get cold.

ERINBut Michael wanted us to wait untilhe got back so we could all sharethe bounty.

Everyone stares at Erin.

PHYLLIS(to Erin)

I think Stanley is right. Youhavent been here long. You dontknow Michael. He could get lost onhis way to Dickson City.

OSCAROr get distracted by some new crazyidea and forget all about this one.

The office workers one by one decide to go into theconference room to eat.


The large round object with the cover on it begins toshake. Something inside of it is pushing up through thecover. The cover is cast aside as Dwight jumps from whatlooks like a large cauldron. He swiftly moves to theconference table, reaches underneath and pulls out a boatoar that someone has duct taped to the underside of thetable. He moves to the open door and thrusts the oar up inhis hands horizontally to block their path.

DWIGHTHa! Stand back employees ofDunder-MifflinScranton! Everything is undercontrol!

The office workers back off just enough for Dwight to closethe door and lock it. Dwight shuts the blinds.


16/26

15.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

JIM(to Pam)

You know, I was just about to say,Wheres Dwight? Shouldnt he be

wrecking this for everyone rightnow?

PAMWhat do you think hes doing inthere?

JIM(thoughtfully, as if making aprediction)

Hes making ... beet stew.


Dwight is in his undershirt mixing the contents of thecauldron with the boat oar. He has lit a dozen littlekerosene burners under the cauldron.

DWIGHTIts beet-based like all goodstews. Beet juice, beet paste,diced beets. The usual. Itsgrandmother Schrutes recipe. Shemade it for Kaiser Wilhelm II justprior to his break with Otto von

Bismarck. Its believed that hercooking led to World War I ... thatand her talents in the bedroom.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Several employees are near the door to the conference roomtrying to get it open.

ANDYDamn! Hes jammed it shut withsomething.

(to Dwight through door)Dwight? Buddy?

DWIGHTGo away, Andy!

(CONTINUED)


17/26

CONTINUED: 16.

ANDYLook, I realize that you dont wantanyone else in there ... for somestrange reason. Its just that Ileft something important forsomeone ...

Andy looks around to make sure that Erin isnt withinearshot.

ANDY (CONTD)for someone very special and Idhate for it to get lost, or wind updamaged in a bear attack orwhatever you do when youre alone... Gah!

Andy kicks the door in frustration and storms off. There isno sound coming from the conference room.

Michael walks into the office carrying something in agrocery bag. Several employees begin to complain aboutDwight commandeering the conference room. Michael ignoresthem. He takes out a very large turkey from the bag andflops it down on the ledge by the reception desk.

MEREDITHWhat the hell is that supposed tobe?

MICHAELThat, you heathen, is a sacrifice.

KEVINIs it an ... ostrich?

MICHAELNo, Kevin, although thats not abad idea. Next time. This isthree birds of flight in one, amagical sacrifice for the god St.Patrick.

OSCAR(in disbelief)

Michael ... Is that a turducken?

The office workers are bewildered. Michael assumes theirastonishment implies adulation.

MICHAEL(sagely)

It is indeed, my son.


18/26

17.


MICHAEL(in a biblical tone)

Four score and many years BC, a mannamed Patrick came to earth. He

bestowed upon the goodly people ofIreland shamrocks and Guinness,potatoes and haggis. But lo, hesaw that they were stillhungry. He said, Good Irishpeople of Ireland, dont fret! Iwill make a dish so hearty it willbring an end to this potatofamine! So he stuffed a chickeninside a duck, and that duck insidea turkey and baked it for six toeight hours. And lo, it was good!

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Michael has the turducken in his hands and is knocking onthe door to the conference room with his foot. The officeworkers are looking on.

MICHAELCome one, Dwight, open up. Itsme.

Michael listens at the door for a response but there is nosound.

MICHAEL (CONTD)(to all)

How long has he been in there?

STANLEYSince you left.

MICHAELOh my god!

Michael starts ramming his shoulder into the door to findthat it is only blocked by Dwights body, which falls acrossthe threshold as Michael pushes in. He drops the turduckenon the floor in the process. Two employees kneel down andtry to revive Dwight while other employees walk into theconference room.


19/26

18.


OSCARWhat are these fumes in here?

Oscar opens the windows in the conference room. Angela

looks under the cauldron and finds the burners. Then shelooks in the cauldron.

PAMWait, where is all the food?

ANGELADwight put it all in here.

The office employees realize what Dwight has been doing inthe room alone. Where there was once a smorgasbord of food,there is now a bubbling pot of greenish soup with floatingchunks of salad, beef tongue, cheese puffs, etc.

Kelly has been gingerly patting Dwight on the cheeks torevive him. When she realizes what has transpired, sheangrily slaps Dwight in the face and storms off.

MICHAEL(to all)

Okay, I can explaineverything. But first everyoneout. To your desks.

Michael ushers them out of the room. Right before he leaveshe takes the turducken off the floor plops it into the stew.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Michael is standing in front of his office door. Dwight isstill on the floor but he is beginning to recover. Severalof the employees are grumbling. Their expressions indicatethat they are hurt and shocked.

MICHAELPagans, please settle down.

STANLEY(angry)

Dont tell us to settle down. Webrought food today thinking wecould eat it. Now that its ruined...

(CONTINUED)


20/26

CONTINUED: 19.

MICHAEL(cutting him off)

Ruined, Stanley? Or did it maketoday perfect?

KEVIN

(as if answering a question)Michael, that did not make itperfect.

CREED TALKING HEAD

CREEDPrison goulash. Turkish. I dontcare how big that kettle is, youlltaste some Creed in every bite.

PHYLLIS TALKING HEAD

PHYLLISIm really disappointed in Michaeland Dwight. I worked hard on mysoda bread. Everybody put a lot ofeffort into this.

(smiling)Well, maybe not Angela.


MICHAELYou go to these things and itsjust like high school. The popularkids get eaten up right away like abag of cheese puffs, and the restof us are like that thing Oscarbrought. Sampled, sloshed aroundand left alone. Like sloppyseconds. Well I dont think Pam,or Angela, or Erin or even Phyllisis sloppy seconds, do you?


Andy is standing over the pot trying to see into it. Hetakes the boat oar and stirs the pot, peering closer andcloser.

(CONTINUED)


21/26

CONTINUED: 20.

ANDY (V.O.)(agitated)

There is a problem. I have everyreason to believe that the Claddaghring that I purchased for my ladylove is now floating somewhere inthat.

ANDY TALKING HEAD

ANDY (CONTD)I mean, this has just been setbackafter setback. I need to do thisalready. I am a man and I haveneeds!

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Andy is racing through the office. He stops briefly in thekitchen to grab a strainer, and continues to the conferenceroom.


Andy is sifting through the contents of the cauldron,tossing bits of food aside as he does so. He finally scoopsout the ring and breaths a sigh of relief. He wants toclean it off but there is nothing in the room for him touse. Curiosity gets the better of him -- he licks the stewoff of the ring. He considers the taste of it.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

MICHAEL(to all)

What did the pagans believein? Sacrifice. Dwight made asacrifice today for all of you. Ithink you should honor him. Whowill be the next sacrificant to St.Patrick?

Michael is pointing to conference room door. Andy walks outof the conference room eating some of the stew from aplastic bowl.

ANDY(enthusiastic)

You know, this isnt bad. Youshould all try some.


22/26

21.


The office workers are in a line to get stew. Michael israving about it.

KELLY

(to Erin)I so think it was our Better ThanSex cake that made it work. Allthat sweetness we bring just makesit go down easy.

Kelly and Erin do an annoying hand gesture that indicates asassy attitude.

MEREDITHI think it was the liter ofvodka. Thatll make anything godown easy.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

People are standing around eating the stew and talking. Jimis sitting at his desk working. Dwight is at his deskslumped over and groaning. Jim motions to the camera tocome closer.

JIM(to camera)

You might be wondering what Ibrought to this shindig. I was

walking through the bulk section ofmy local grocery store the otherday and I had this wildpremonition, like the other onesIve been getting. It just hit melike a lighting bolt from the sky.

Jim closes his eyes as if seeking inspiration. He reachesunder his desk and retrieves a cardboard box, which heplaces in front of him. He opens his eyes. The label onthe box reads Pepto-Bismol.

Kevin gets a worried look and puts his bowl of stew on adesk. He covers his mouth and rushes into the bathroom. Aretching sound is heard. Soon others are running to thebathrooms. Those who are not quick enough to make it to abathroom grab the closest wastebasket. Everyone who ate thestew is vomiting.

Dwight is groggy but awake.

(CONTINUED)


23/26

CONTINUED: 22.

DWIGHTWhat ...? Did it work? Was theluck ceremony successful?

Jim is on the phone with a finger in his other ear.

JIM(over phone with enthusiasm)Thats great. Ill put that orderin right away. We appreciate yourbusiness, Mr. Williams.

INT. MICHAELS OFFICE - DAY

Dwight walks into Michaels office. Michael is lying on thefloor behind his desk.

DWIGHT

(alarmed)Michael? Are you in here?

MICHAEL(irritated)

Go away, Dwight!

DWIGHTI dont understand. What happenedwith the stew?

MICHAELOh, it was cursed from the

beginning! I dont understandit. I try to bring good fortune tomy employees so that they will loveme, love their jobs and share thatlove with their families. But Ican only do so much! Now theyprobably hate me. Damn you, St.Patrick!

DWIGHTDont say that. We can still makethis right.

Michael sits up and looks at Dwight across his desk.

MICHAELHow?

DWIGHTAnother sacrifice. This time itmust be a person, one who has

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


24/26

CONTINUED: 23.

DWIGHT (contd)ruined everything for his own gainfor years while the good peoplesuffer.

(to camera)Its like Jacob vs. The Smoke

Monster.

MICHAELToby?

DWIGHTYeah!

MICHAELBut hang on a sec. Is this goingto work? Is Toby a virgin?

DWIGHT

He looks like a virgin. Ill getthe pitchfork from my car.

Jim knocks on the door and enters as Dwight is leaving. Hestands before Michaels desk.

JIMGot a minute?

MICHAELWell, Dwight and I were about to...

JIM(cutting him off)

Sure. But I was thinking aboutwhat you were saying regarding luckand I though that, given thecompanys financial woes, I wouldforget about this silly holiday ...

MICHAEL(interrupting him - to camera)

Blasphemy.

JIM... and be proactive. So I spentthe better part of today hammeringout the details of a contract withnone other than The University ofScranton.

(CONTINUED)


25/26

CONTINUED: 24.

MICHAEL(in disbelief)

The University of Scranton?

JIMAll of their paper for three

years. And the only thing I had togive up was my first bornchild. So much for luck, right?

Michaels expression indicates a bit of shock and a lot ofpride in his protege. Jim walks out of Michaels office.

PAM TALKING HEAD

PAMIve never had a story about acrazy St. Patricks Day party. Now

I have one that nobody willbelieve.

ANDY TALKING HEAD

ANDYI placed Erins ring in the pocketof my blazer, which I subsequentlybooted all over. In the ensuingmelee, the ring disappeared.

(thoughtfully)I really think this is a sign that

I should just give up. I reallydont know what more I can do.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

People are leaving for the day. Each person is passing byJims desk for a travel-sized bottle of Pepto-Bismol.

MICHAEL (V.O.)(sagely)

We all made sacrifices today. Imean, Jim didnt eat anything so hecould make that huge sale. Somewould say our sacrifices were fornaught. I say the fact that thesemen and women shared in thisincredible experience and grewcloser is the greatest luck of all.


26/26

25.

INT. MICHAELS OFFICE - DAY

MICHAEL (CONTD)My uncle Ted worked in a factorythat made little knickknacks fornovelty shops. Toys and

things. Really fun guy. Forthirty years he worked on anassembly line where he attached keyrings to little stuffed rabbitsfeet. You know what his last wordswere? I make my own luck. Andhe was serious.

END

the office- st. patrick's day potluck

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