DEC. 25, 2013PRICE $XO.XO

THENEW NORKER

“Just try saying unique New York five times fast!”

PIE IN THE SKY I just found out that one of my favorite actors died this year. Richard Griffiths, a 65-year-old British stage and screen actor died following heart surgery. He was massively overweight all his life, and a cigarette smoker as well, so his death was no surprise. But it’s still a blow to those of us who enjoy good acting. Born to deaf parents, he apparently had quite a difficult childhood. His parents’ marriage was violent, and he grew up in poverty. But when he discovered the theater he really came into his own, and he had a long, rich career on the screen and the stage. He became famous in the US as the appalling Uncle Dursley from the Harry Potter series. His performance there was over the top in his portrayal of a clueless menace. When he inhabited the character of the gourmand and disillusioned cop in the BBC series, Pie in the Sky, that’s when his sweetness and intelligence really showed. As Henry Crabbe he’s kind, gentle, and thoughtful. His scenes with co-star, Maggie Steed, as his wife, are among the best portrayals of a long-time marriage of equals that I’ve ever seen. And the character’s struggle to “balance” a career that he longs to retire from and

the work as a chef that he loves, rings true. Pie in the Sky is the name of the fictional restaurant that Crabbe runs with a crew of delightful young co-workers, and the scenes of fine dining and fine wines always make me hungry. Anyway, the season ran for five years, and is a delight for anyone looking for a smart, funny, thoughtful British dramedy. RIP Richard Griffiths. – Sally Perrine

THE HUNGER GAMES TRILOGY For any of you out there who haven’t yet read the Hunger Games Trilogy, you are missing a real treat. A friend told me about them a couple of years ago and I regret waiting as long as I did to start reading them. I can’t remember the last time I stayed up all night to finish a book; the first one was by far the best and was the epitome of a page-turner. I was often breathless while reading and couldn’t focus on anything else. I seem to remember spending an entire weekend in bed pouring over the second and third one in rapid succession. Although I feel that the second one wasn’t as good as the first and the third wasn’t as good as either of them, I would still highly recommend them to every man, woman and child out there. My daughter read them, my husband read them, my mother read them and countless friends read them. You would think this review would be about one or all of these books, and although you got a rave review about them, I

am instead trying to sell you on my absolute love of the second movie in the series based on the books, Catching Fire. Let me back track a little. I am not a big movie buff. I certainly like movies, but rarely get a chance to go to the theater. With two kids at home, a packed work schedule and the expense of going to see a movie, I instead get a lot of my entertainment at home, on the couch, via Netflix. That being said, I couldn’t wait to see the first installment of the Hunger Games movies in the theatre and neither could my daughter. I had never been to the opening night of a movie before and never had the desire to. Standing in line for hours to see anything seemed a giant waste of time in my opinion and I certainly didn’t have the patience for it. Somehow though, I was talked into taking Jordan to the midnight showing of Hunger Games. As I recall, we got there at least four hours early and waited and waited. To make matters worse, they show these movies on Thursday nights at midnight, which is actually Friday, but still, not for those of us that have work and school the following day. Did I have work the next day and did she have school? Um, yes. I don’t think we got to bed much before 3 am but were glad we had the experience. That being said, I decided I wasn’t ever going to do it again. It was too much effort and too little sleep even though it was a fantastic movie. My daughter thought she could talk me into it again for Catching Fire but I held my

MIXED MEDIA

GOINGS ON ABOUT TOWN

ground and we saw it a week after it came out so there wasn’t quite as much fanfare. We actually saw it at the Oregon coast on a rainy day over the Thanksgiving holiday. It was a trip for the girls, my daughter, my mom and me. Three generations checking out the second installment of an extremely popular movie franchise. I wasn’t expecting too much because as I said, in my opinion the books had kind of gone downhill and everyone knows that the book is almost always better than the movie. Was I ever wrong! Not only was this movie far better than the book, it was also better than the first movie which is saying a lot. I was floored, wowed and bowled over. The actors were fantastic, the visuals were extraordinary and the storytelling just seemed better somehow then the book. Jennifer Lawrence is truly Hollywood’s new ‘it’ girl and rightfully so. She is amazing to watch in action and anytime you see her at an awards show or in an interview, she seems so genuine and friendly and like someone you could hang out with. I cannot wait to see her and her fellow actors bring the final installment, MockingJay to life on the big screen. My one complaint though, is that they are breaking that movie into two parts, which I don’t feel is necessary. Is Hollywood trying to line its pockets a little more? I imagine so, but I will still plunk down my $11.50 to see it a week or two after it is released. I will also be buying the DVD for more home viewing – these movies are just that good! – Brandy Robertson-Taylor

DUCK DYNASTY“Frog catching is the most fun a human being can have while on this earth.” Jase RobertsonOk, so Duck Dynasty is not highbrow entertainment. In fact, I’m confident that the stars of the show would proudly declare it to be “no brow” entertainment. The show follows the Robertson family of West Monroe, Louisiana. The Robertson’s have made a small fortune designing and marketing duck calls. With the freedom their independent wealth grants them, the family spends their time hunting ducks, maintaining duck blinds, and occasionally blowing up a duck blind with dynamite when it is infested with snakes and rebuilding it with, say, a fifth wheel camper. They also cat fish, catch frogs, and cook and eat ducks and frogs and squirrels together, with their huge backwoods family, after saying grace, of course. I don’t feel like I’m making a good case for the show yet. It certainly does not avoid any of the traps of the reality show genre. The situations that structure each episode are sometimes obviously contrived for the sake of entertainment, and southern stereotypes are certainly exploited for the camera. But the Robertson’s are genuinely damned entertaining. And while that entertainment often takes an obvious form, say when one brother shakes a snake from out of a tree into a boat, startling the other brother and causing him to leap into the swamp, it derives just as frequently from an honest take on the world such as patriarch Phil’s assertion to his grandson

that the more makeup a girl wears, the more she’s trying to hide, and that she can be pretty on the outside and inside “mean as a snake.” The Robertson’s clearly enjoy life, and each other and though their stories may often be only “ninety-five percent truthful” as Uncle Si admits, these folks are more real than anything else on television. Some people say I’m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again we’re going to have to let you go.” Uncle Si – Alex Hartman

STORIES WE TELLWhat is the truth? Can we ever know the “real story?” What is family? Writer-Director Sarah Polley is from a family of storytellers, and her Stories We Tell is a documentary (of sorts) that investigates a myth surrounding Polley’s deceased mother, through interviews with her father, siblings, friends and co-workers. What at first seems to be a straightforward narrative reveals itself to be a complicated paradox about the elusive nature of love, memory and family. The twists and turns of this story are remarkable, the cast of characters charming and complex, and though the circumstances of this narrative seem unique to Polley, the theme is universal and relevant to us all. – Jocelyn Robertson

THE HEATThe Heat stars Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy; one, a Michael Jackson look-alike (Bullock), the other a fast-trash-talking, homeless-clothes-wearing woman (McCarthy) unwillingly paired together as an investigative cop team. Bullock plays Special Agent Ashburn, an up-tight prude of an FBI agent who is unsentimental and wholly professional while McCarthy’s Detective Shannon Mullins is a foul-mouthed, impetuous and emotional vigilante. The two women team-up to investigate a drug lord in Boston and get mixed up in some pretty dangerous situations. Of course, they manage enough ludicrous stunts that they avoid any serious injuries. The plot thickens as Mullins family becomes entangled in the dramas of an investigation. Ashburn and Mullins continue to butt heads on protocol versus unconventional action though Mullins usually out-schemes or bullies her way over Ashburn. There’s no rom in this com save for a bar scene where the

FRIDAYou may have missed Frida when came out in 2002. It is a biopic of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo. Before the movie, I was unfamiliar with her name though I had seen and admired her art, which is colorful, bold, and definitely South of the Border. The same three adjectives apply to her life. Frida was born and died in Mexico City in the first half of the 20th century. Born during the Mexican revolution of 1910, to her father was a German émigré, her mother of Spanish Amerindian decent and a devout Roman Catholic. Frida had some childhood health issues that were complicated by horrific injuries from a bus accident when she was a teenager. Painful, lifelong health issues plagued her life. She married Diego Rivera, also a prominent artist. They were both disciples of communist doctrine but their list of disagreements was long, colorful and bold. Watching the compelling drama of Frida’s life, one is not surprised by her statement, “I was born a bitch, I was born a painter.” Frida was a feminist, before feminism, and she did not fit into any norm or expectation, she was unreservedly outspoken and wore long full traditional skirts. The film transports the viewer to the Mexico between 1910 and 1954, and exposes the eventful life of Frida Kahlo; a life fully lived as the movie trailer promises. The film is captivating because her character and life are faithfully and capably revealed. – Leslie Robertson

usually tee-totaling Bullock drinks herself into a wild karaoke-singing fool and slow-dances with a haggard male bar-mate. There is a lot of clever dialogue in the movie and McCarthy never misses a beat when delivering insults toward her cohort or a lowly thug. Funny. Quotable. Memorable. while still being ‘easy viewing.’ – Hadley Robertson

THE HEATLike another favorite comedy, Bowfinger, The Heat is character driven. The good cop, bad cop routine is artfully contrived with two women trading hilarious repartee. Think Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy, two characters that are a study in contrasts, one is uptight and thin follows the rules (Sandra Bullock); the other plump, brash, and audacious (Melissa McCarthy). The trouble these two get into is accompanied by sassy, rough and tumble humor. I saw it twice and maybe I’ll see it again, just to pick up on all the banter. – Steve Robertson

"Your blood work came back and you're definitely a Berkshire."Cartoons throughout – Will Fernandes

A MOVEABLE FEAST by Ernest Hemingway Chuck Darling gave me a copy of this before Leslie and I went to Paris in 1972. We took a room with a bed and bidet near the Luxemburg Gardens. We were sick, hungry (on our one-meal-a-day plan) and cold and had a lot in common with Hemingway – his book tells of his early stay in Paris near the Luxemburg gardens where he wheeled his baby son Bumby (our later friend, Jack) in a pram and used it to conceal pigeons he’d deftly grabbed, wringing their necks to augment dinnertime. Serendipitously, years later, I suggested it to Jack here in Idaho. He’d never read it, but it became his favorite. Another hunting friend recently sent me a copy which I quickly reread, gobbling it up like the nourishment it is. Rereading, reliving our young adventures, old friends recalled, impromptu imaginative meals, this thin book is fat with associations and fresh insights. – Steve Robertson

Reichl quickly discovers that New York is full of really good restaurants, interesting restaurants and overrated restaurants but overall is a tough restaurant scene. While dining under the guise of many different women, Reichl was often mistreated to such a degree that she couldn’t give high accolades to an establishment that may have received high praise for the food, from a previous and more recognized critic. At one high-end restaurant, she goes unidentified for the first part of the meal and only at dessert does the chef come out and acknowledge her, at which point her dessert is whisked away and replaced by the “same” dessert only with bigger and more beautiful raspberries and a larger portion. The staff is suddenly swifter and friendlier. Reichl’s descriptions of food are superb, certain dishes are described at length and she slowly and methodically identifies each ingredient, describing each subtle flavor in a dish. The book is interesting because it’s not just about the food she ate in New York City, it’s about the culture of eating, the culture of cuisine and restaurant culture. Riechl also talks about the joy she feels when cooking at home, with her son, and she gives the reader an appreciation for the pleasures of both dining out and dining in. I was entertained reading about the various costumes Reichl invented and her commitment to the craft of being fully immersed into that character as well as her craft of eating and evaluating food for the good of the rest of us. – Hadley Robertson

GARLIC AND SAPPHIRES by Ruth Reichl Reading stories about food by someone who is a food professional makes me hungry. Ruth Reichl’s book Garlic and Sapphires is about her time as the food critic for the New York Times and her attempt to have an authentic experience at each restaurant by attempting to keep her identity a mystery. On her way to her job with the NY Times, a fellow passenger recognizes Reichl on the plane. The passenger informs her that Ruth’s picture is up all over the city – restaurant owners and staff hoping to anticipate her arrival and give her the dining experience a celebrity might receive. Because Reichl is a celebrity in the food world, how is she to have an authentic and honest experience? Reichl decides she will have to dine incognito and describes how she continually altered her persona in order to receive the ‘un-noteworthy customer’ treatment. She comes up with clever disguises, applies for credit cards under various pseudonyms, wears wigs and second-hand clothes and morphs her personality to fit the look of her characters. It would seem her job title as the one-and-only food critic for the Times would be supported by glamorous nights in the Big Apple, fancy fine dining and lots of opportunities to dress up. Rather the images she describes are of a sad, smoky, moody Times office, surly wait staff at many a snooty restaurant, and only a few jewel like moments when she describes in detail the wonderful food she samples (in addition to the fois gras).

BOOKS, BRIEFLY NOTED

for release sometime next year. It is a beautiful book which truly takes a horrible subject and makes it funny. It follows the story of a young girl named Hazel who has terminal cancer and is basically just biding her time until her inevitable departure from this world. Not real uplifting sounding is it? She hates going to her Cancer Kid Support Group until one day when she meets a gorgeous boy named Augustus Waters. Suddenly she is enjoying her life, finding beauty in the world again and a reason not to just wait for her impending death. Although you know that the story will not end on a happy note it is still amazing how much I found myself laughing out loud in this book. There were lots of tears as well, but not for the reason you might think as there is a pretty surprising plot twist that left me spinning. This might not be the book for everyone and maybe it resonated more personally for me since I have to live with a chronically sick child who is on

A FAULT IN OUR STARS by John Green I spent a great deal of college studying young adult literature. I thought I wanted to teach middle school English when ‘I grew up’ so it was a big focus of mine. I found it wasn’t much of a chore to read the books, full of teen angst. Did I relate it to my own tumultuous youth or was it just good writing? Looking back, I think it was a bit of both. Now, this was all before Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians and all the other fantastic Young Adult fiction that is out there these days. Suddenly everyone is clamoring for these books and authors – not just older, angst filled girls who want to teach someday. I saw a national news story the other night speaking to this relatively new phenomenon. Authors who were once writing only for adults are finding a new niche market catering to the tween and teen set. What they are discovering is that there is an almost cult-like and occasionally rabid group of adults that clamor for these books even more than the teens. I must admit, I am one of those adults. Why is this? Although I still love a good ‘adult’ book, I find that I have to think a less when reading the aforementioned novels, they are quick reads, and I can share them with my daughter and often, a movie follows which adds an additional entertaining element. One of the books that I recently finished and my daughter is now reading is called A Fault in Our Stars by John Green. Coincidentally, or maybe not, it is also being made into a movie which I believe is slated

many medications, has to see lots of doctors and there will never be an end in sight for her. I can’t imagine having a terminal child, but I do think I could relate to some of the helplessness that all the characters felt which was in a strange way comforting to me. If you feel this might not be the book for you, I can understand. However, I would encourage anyone who is looking for something new to read during the cold winter months to consider a Young Adult book. There are so many good ones out there right now and you might be surprised at how many of your favorite adult authors are trying their hand at this insanely popular genre. All that being said, I love the YA craze and I think even when it dies down I will be a life-long fan. These are truly books for all ages and I can’t wait for my daughter to finish so we can talk more about it and see the movie together when it comes out. – Brandy Robertson Taylor

"I can't believe you watch that Downton Abbey garbage..."

THE BOYS IN THE BOAT: NINE AMERICANS AND THEIR EPIC QUEST FOR GOLD AT THE 1936 BERLIN OLYMPICS by Daniel James Brown Well there ya go, the title says it all … but not quite. This book reads like a fiction thriller, but if it was fiction I would not have enjoyed it because the story, both the characters and the plot, are not believable – except they’re real, and true! The “boat” was an 8-oared shell named the Husky Clipper, built in Seattle by a zen-like legend named George Yeoman Pocock, the “Boys” were a rag tag bunch of UW rowers, as different from their east coast rivals as night and day, who had to work as farmers, lumberjacks, and longshoremen in order to pay for another year of school, and the 1936 Olympics were at first about a boycott and then about Jesse Owens. The book takes place in the 30s – the Depression, the Dust Bowl, and the Nazis.

Joe Rantz is the heart of the story, and the author got the chance to spend a few months in his company during the writing of the book before Rantz, one of the last survivors of “the boat,” passed away. It is mind boggling the hardships that Rantz and the other rowers had to survive in depression-era Seattle, and equally mind boggling is the story of Hitler’s creation of the fictional Germany presented to the world during the 1936 Olympics. Many have compared this book to the Laura Hillenbrand’s Seabiscuit; you don’t have to know anything about horse racing, or rowing, to be thoroughly drawn in to it and it transports you to another place and time. The strength of character it took “back then” just to get through the day, let alone accomplish what these young men did, is inconceivable today, at least in my surrounds, and this book gave me some idea about why they called it “the Greatest Generation.” – Marty Greer

PRETTY BIRD by Scott Simon Scott Simon, host of NPR’s Weekend Edition, is like a grandpa to me, reading me bedtime stories as I half-sleep through most of his show every Saturday morning. Pretty Bird is his first novel and it’s set during the Siege of Sarajevo. I knew I was in for nastiness in a book about war, but I wasn’t quite prepared for the grandpa voice in my head to describe sexual violence to a teenage girl in quite such graphic detail. I had to sort of reset my mindset in order to finish the book and once I stopped picturing Scott Simon, Muppet grandpa, and started picturing Scott Simon, war correspondent, telling the story, things got a lot better. Pretty Bird is quick read with a journalist’s attention to detail…and a journalist’s sense of art, which is to say not much. If anything, the book prompted me to read as much as I could about this war that dominated my high school years, but which I knew hardly anything about. The protagonist of the story is a high school girl, so it wasn’t hard for me to picture what my life was like between 1992-1996 and what life was like for girls like Irena Zaric during those years, fictional as she may be, and to realize that Sarajevo was as modern a city as San Diego, with high rise hotels and shopping malls – and that you could just come home from school one day and be transformed from a basketball star to a sniper. My life has been a walk in the park. – Jennifer Pemberton

"Who brought the cream cheese?"

"Who brought the cream cheese?"

way more classes than you have time for. The Truth about Dishonesty is another super interesting and entertaining book about human behavior and it will make you think about everything you do, including going to the dentist, in a different way. What was totally amazing to me is the entire world that is now available and open to anyone with an Internet connection. Dan Ariely is a superstar professor and he has used every avenue of the web to teach people, further his research and promote support for behavioral economics. His class, a Beginner’s Guide to Irrationality, enrolled over 150,000 people and he estimated it cost over $100,000 to create. Six weeks of interactive lecture video’s and surveys. Links to thousands of pages of reading from publications all over the world, tests and even writing assignments made up the curriculum. It was easily one of the best classes I have ever taken and yes, it was free. Now I have taken other MOOCs, and they

THE MUSHROOM HUNTERS by Langdon Cook I started reading Langdon Cook years ago when he was just a wild food blogger based out of Seattle. His blog Fat of the Land, was a fantastic resource for people interested in foraging and cooking in the Northwest and his book of the same name that was published a few years ago was also great. He related stories about spear fishing for lingcod and shrimping from a canoe in the Puget Sound and cooking with ingredients like maple flowers and stinging nettles. Fun stuff. As a fellow enthusiast of wild foods, and particularly of fungi, when I heard that he had written a book about the underground economy of wild mushrooms I was sold. Wild mushrooms are prominent ingredients on the menus of the world’s most elegant restaurants. But the individuals responsible for providing chefs with these sought after ingredients are a decidedly rough sort. Cook jumps into the fray with this lot of ex-loggers, ex-husbands, and ex-cons, travelling from California to the Yukon Territories on the hunt for valuable treasures with names like the Oregon truffle, black trumpet, yellow foot, lobster, and matsutake. Incredibly, after spending as much time as he does with these most serious of mushroom pickers, Cook seems not to have learned this most central tenant of the discipline: keep your spots secret. Langdon gives it all up in this book. He tells the reader exactly where to go, when, and what to look for. This

book is a treasure map for the mushroom hunter. It is also a fine piece of journalism, granting insight into a subculture of people who are willfully unfamiliar to most of us, and without the wild-west exaggerations that have been circulated by other writers. Lastly this is a great buddy story, narrating expeditions to the far reaches of the continent shared between guys who love to spend their days in the mossy recesses of the Northwest. – Alex Hartman

THE TRUTH ABOUT DISHONESTY by Dan Ariely Yes, I know I already wrote about Dan Ariely for another one of my New Norker submissions for his book Predictably Irrational. But Dan’s third book came out and I rushed to read it before his MOOC started in March. Have you taken a MOOC yet? I definitely recommend signing up for Coursera. I have Harvard and MIT on my list, too. Just be careful because you might find yourself enrolled in

"Seriously? The answer to your secret question is ruff?"

"Seriously? The answer to your secret question is ruff?"

all can’t live up to the Ariely standard but there is still an amazing amount you can learn.It was sad when the class ended but of course Dan Ariely knows it is only the beginning. Through his research he has developed experiments that need a world of input. And of course he has an app for that. Now that the class is over I am a research candidate. He just pings my ipad whenever he needs us to submit our answers for his research. I also have his other app, which allows me to review his videos and podcasts and keep up with his Ask Dan column in the Wall Street Journal which is also available on his blog. If you visit his blog be sure to take his Irrational Quizzes so you can see which chapters you should focus on when reading his books. The amount of content and the experience created online is amazing. Dan Ariely deserves

his superstar professor status and I look forward to more of his books and MOOC’s. The only thing I can’t rave about is reading the ebook version of his books or really, any book. The regular hard and paperbacks are still superior. – Bijou Robertson

ROCKS DON’T LIE by David Montgomery The story of Noah’s Ark is a favorite Bible tale that pleases even the “There is no God,” types. Noah’s survival tale speaks to the hope that with planning and innovation and trust, human existence can survive great challenges and the unknown. But, is there any truth to the Noah’s ark story, the modern scientific mind questions? This question has intrigued and driven science since the beginnings of scientific thought. The Renaissance spawned an interest in evidence

and a thoughtful approach to observations of physical phenomenon. The field of geology was born with Steno’s Law 1668. From observation and deduction Neil Stenson, a Danish man living and studying in Italy, described how rocks form and how fossils get into rock. In his explanation, the beginnings of a geologic time scale emerged. His neat ideas also explained that the Great Flood formed the Tuscan topography. Though this idea did not stand the test of time, as did his law of Superposition, many natural philosophers that followed tried to fit their theories into the Great Flood scenario. Discoveries, conundrums, and debate ensued through the centuries until the belief that Noah’s flood sculpted the surface of the earth, for the most part, did not survive and finally, by the turn of the 20th century, had been relegated to fairy tale status. In the 1920s, Dr. J. Harlan Bretz, (a student at the time) began studying the Columbia Gorge, Columbia River and Eastern Washington topography. Periodically, he returned to the area to take careful field notes, and eventually became convinced that a colossal flood had formed the land. The failure of glacial dams between 15,000 and 12,000 years ago had release huge volumes of water that formed the Channeled Scablands, the Gorge and other topography. So tenacious was the idea that the Great Flood was mythical that Dr. Betz was not awarded the highest honor from the Geological Society of America until he was 94 years

Cirque du Salami

Cirque du Salami

severe facial abnormalities (27 surgeries since birth), who is about to enter 5th grade after being home-schooled. His principal has asked 4 other students to meet him before school starts and to mentor him, but his first experiences are tough. This is a book about kindness, about friendship, and about the power of family love. ANGELMAKER by Nick Harkaway A perfect summer read – lush language, intriguing characters and a story that starts slowly then picks up midway to a galloping finish. From the flyleaf: “…blistering gangster noir meets howling absurdist comedy as the forces of good square off against the forces of evil, and only an unassuming clockwork repairman and an octogenarian former superspy can save the world from total destruction.” This is the best “Harry Potter for adults” that I’ve read. TRANSATLANTIC by Colum McCann Beautiful, profound, every paragraph is a poem – McCann is an astonishing writer! McCann, born in Dublin, writes about the connections between Ireland and America; the book title refers to the crossing of the Atlantic – both ways – and the story moves across these two countries and spans many decades. Maybe the most profound is the chapter dealing with Frederick Douglass’ visit to Ireland in the mid-1880s. So, here’s a former slave, very much in danger in his own country, celebrated and fêted by Irish and English anti-slavery activists – who comes to notice

old. By then, Nasa’s Viking spacecraft orbiting Mars sited his fieldwork to explain captured images of the surface of Mars. David Montgomery, a distinguished professor of geomorphology at the University of Washington decided to dig deep into the world’s flood stories to illuminate his history of geology and reveal elements of religion and science that have formed the study of rocks. Who asks the questions and what actions have contributed to our understanding of our earth’s surface? Dr. Montgomery speculates, “Our interpretation of the world around us fundamentally shapes our outlook.” I was surprised to discover the labyrinth of human, religious, and scientific truths in this worthy book. – Leslie Robertson

FAVORITE FICTION 2013– Sally PerrineTHE REVISED FUNDAMENTALS OF CAREGIVING by Jonathan Evison What a lovely book. In lesser hands, this could have been too wrenchingly sad, but Evison’s light touch and humor saved it. The second half was a delightful road trip with two wounded, courageous, funny men and the lost souls they pick up. THE COLD COLD GROUND by Adrian McGinty OK, I read this one in a gulp; haven’t read such good dialogue for ages. Set in Northern Ireland in the 80s during “The Troubles,” the book follows Catholic cop, Sean Duffy, as he works to solve what appears to

be a straightforward crime, rather than a violent act perpetrated by the warring factions of the times. Duffy is an engaging character, very smart, well-educated, funny and brave. He’s also sexist, alcoholic, and dangerously impulsive. This is the first of a trilogy, I’ll follow this writer. THE ART OF FIELDING by Chad Harbach Didn’t think I’d like a book about baseball, but it’s so much more – love, courage, coming-of-age, finding your work, all of it. Loved the language, and the dialogue – a thoroughly satisfying read. This reminded me of David James Duncan’s fiction. HALF-BLOOD BLUES by Esi Edugyan I’ve never read anything quite like this. This Booker Prize finalist spans the years from 1930s Europe to 1990s America, switches back and forth between decades, and follows the stories of American blues musicians Sid and Chip, and half-breed German/African trumpet prodigy, Heironymous Falk as they make music, make love, and travel, just ahead of the Nazis from Berlin, to Paris, then to America. The story is told through the eyes of Sid, the bass player, but it is the young Heiro who is the real focus of the story. The language of this book is pure music, pure jazz, the black dialect of the times; and I dove happily into its pages. WONDER by R.J. Palacio Tender without being mawkish, this juvenile fiction novel is about a boy born with

the hunger and desperation of the rural Catholic Irish, and has to come to terms with another form of profound injustice. I ended the book with the prayer, “Oh my God.” THE PANOPTICON by Jenni Fagan Wow! Just wow! This novel took a little getting used to, written in Scottish dialect – lots of “nae” “tae’s” and such. But it was so worth the effort. Main character is a 15 year-old girl, who has lived in up to 50 foster homes. When we first meet her, she is brought to a group home in handcuffs, charged with putting a cop in a coma. She can’t remember what happened. The story proceeds from there – the friends she makes, the caregivers and social workers, the cops, the fact that she never had family. It’s a shattering story, and you root for this smart, brave, compassionate girl every step of the way.

WORDS WORK WONDERS As you know, I’m not much for kids. They are noisy, busy, and often temperamental, usually they smell weird. I prefer cuteness in puppies and I have more in common, and therefore can have better conversations, with adults. But, when I think back over my reading year I can honestly say I got more unexpected joy, laughter, heartfelt feeling and downright pleasure out of the poetry of 8-year-olds than anything else. One of my jobs at The Cabin is to design the Words Work Wonders books. Each of the 450+ kids (and adults) that attend Idaho Writing Camps

get a piece published in one of these beautifully printed anthologies. Because I do the layout I read each and every one of the stories and poems that make up the books. Throughout the several week process the book design requires, nearly every day I find one or two gems and share them with my co-workers. Kids write poems about crazy stuff – it’s not all love and loss, though there is some of that, too. Take for instance the poem by 4th grader Gabriel Horne called “The Dream of Bob Jr. and the Garden Gnome,” in which there is no mention, in the poem, of the garden gnome. Or the treatise, “Your Guinea Pig Smells Like…” by 5th grader Jessica Byres which includes the lines, “like a decaying moose, like a pile of wormy cat barf, like a rotten egg that was just crushed, like a fifteen-year-old bottle of milk that was opened.” And perhaps the best poem ever written by a 5th grader:

EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY by London MontalbanoThere are those cold, cold daysWhen you lock yourself up in your roomFor the warmth of it. Then: the white cold outside.You try to empty your congested brain.

And then there are the days when you are lit upLike a firecracker on a hot summer night.These days when you smell fresh cutWet grass, chlorine, and coconut sun block.

Every day you see the trees rattling,The sunset glistening, the water flowing,The bike peddling, and best of all:The whipping of rackets of tennis players.

As my mouth sinks into the Big Bopper,The taste of chocolate chip cookies andIce cream melt into my palette. TheseAre the days that taste like I want them to.

Bursting with juicy flavor, blackberries explode In my mouth and I can’t wait for the next onePlump raspberries, red and ripe and near ready,Sprout from green, prickly stems.

We take a blue green water slide To a cool deep pool. Together, we are still A light load, and we ricochet downLike Mexican jumping beans.

– Jocelyn Robertson

Now, in the past, I would never even think about ordering lobster anything on a menu. It’s just not that good. But, I realized with this dish, that I have never truly experienced the depth of what lobster can do. The richness of the truffle, with the brightness of the oceany lobster and the saltiness of the mousseline created an intense pillow of flavor that melted on your tongue. Oh, if only I could have an entire bowl. We were invited to the Book Bindery staff party because Will promised to bring homemade tortillas. The restaurant was closed, so chef Shaun McCrain was able to attend the party. His reserved and focused personality has led him to cook at some of the world’s greatest restaurants though there is nothing about him that screams celebrity chef. Per Se, Taillevent and La Folie are included on his impressive list. At the party there was really nothing to talk about except for food. Will and Shaun reminisced about working at La Folie and soon the topic turned to “the best.” Shaun described the best fish he ever had – at Masa’s in San Francisco. I countered with the best lobster I have ever had – the Book Bindery. (Okay I was kissing up). Shaun smiled, looked down and barely audibe, said, “Yeah, I was thinking about putting that on the menu.”The food is perfect, surprising and beautiful at the Book Bindery and the dining is fine. I was there, the first day the lobster risotto was on the menu. I ordered it, and I would have eaten it all except I did have to share it with Will. – Bijou Robertson

BOOK BINDERY Seattle, WA Seattle is now a regular feature in all the magazines. There are so many good restaurants opening, so many in fact, that we cannot try them all and figuring out where to go eat is difficult. The list is too long! The restaurant trend is a bistro experience, casual, loud, and crowded; a happening place that you are happy to eat at any night of the week. It comes in an endless variety of flavors, Korean French, Scandinavian Northwest, Italian Bistro, all excellent and delicious. I have to give my Dish of the Year award to a restaurant that I hope will survive the bistro trend. In the last two years, nearly all of the fine dining restaurants in Seattle have closed. Rovers, Campagne and Le Gourmand have been replaced with gastropubs and wine bistros. When you walk into the Book Bindery you feel the difference – the ceilings are low, the chairs are plush, and the tables are big. There is plenty of room between you and the next table of guests and yes, there are even tablecloths. The first time we went to the Book Bindery we had a smoked sturgeon salad served with an amazing rye crisp and horseradish panna cotta that could have easily been the dish of the year. But it was the amuse that the chef sent out to us that is impressed indelibly on my memory: the Maine lobster risotto with black truffle and Parmesan mousseline.

HERM’S INN Logan, UT The dining options in Logan, population 100,000, feel more like the dining options in a town the size of Arco – a small town where even a burger might not be a safe bet. We do have a few solid restaurants and one of the good ones is Herm’s Inn. Herm’s only does breakfast and lunch and we rarely get to go out for lunch and rarely want to go pay someone to cook us an egg. Fortunately, the chefs at Herm’s Inn get bored cooking eggs and occasionally want to express some creativity. So this summer they started the Herm’s Inn Summer Dinner Club. Unfortunately, Herms doesn’t have a liquor license, and as any chef knows you can’t have a fancy dinner without good wine, luckily by a particular quirk of Utah Law at a private party wine can be drunk but not served, and the restaurant cannot advertise or be open to the public during a private party. Thankfully we know the chef and were asked be members of the dinner club. Herm’s Inn is in a remodeled gas station at the mouth of the Logan Canyon in a mostly residential neighborhood and they have done a lot of work to both preserve the old building and bring it up to date. It is a small restaurant divided in half by a long counter bar with one side of the restaurant lined with small booths and the other side long tables great for big parties. There are large windows and the perk to the residential setting is that the windows can be opened up without traffic noise to let in the summer breezes. We brought a couple bottles of Hells Canyon and shortly after

TABLES FOR TWO, OR MORE

we were seated we were served a small mushroom, mascarpone and Parmesan tart. It was light and fluffy and a delicious way to whet our appetite. The server offered to open our wines, and after an excruciating few minutes of him being befuddled by capsule and cork, I offered to show him how to do it. He breathed a sigh of relief and said he had only watched someone open a bottle of wine before and had never done it himself. Oh, we try and forget but we are still in firmly in Mormon country. After the wines were poured they served a small white bean arugula salad with artichoke and crispy lardons. It was light and refreshing and nice for a hot summer day with the windows open. For the next course, they served Idaho trout with haricots verts, beurre blanc, and preserved lemon. This was by far my favorite course, with the rich beurre blanc nicely accentuated by the preserved lemons and both were paired perfectly with

thin crispy haricots verts. As a testament to the Chef’s knife skills the fish was boned and left in a long steak with the head and tail removed but not cut through the belly. It was tube of fish with the skin on. The process must have been similar to boning a chicken out through the neck. It was beautiful presentation with the iridescent rainbow skin lying on a bed of green beans with the tart sauce and lemons. In case we weren’t sated yet, they followed with a meat course; steak frites with caramelized Cipollini onions. It was nicely cooked small steak, about the size of the filet. The matchstick frites were crispy and delicious but the real treat were the cipollini onions. Cipollinis are very small onions about the diameter of a half-dollar but shaped like a flying saucer. They are naturally very mild and sweet and were a perfect match with every bite of steak. They gave us a few extra minutes after serving the meat course and we sat and talked

as the summer evening turned to dusk. At sunset they served a lemon pound cake and fresh local berries and Chantilly cream. Just up the canyon, Bear Lake is famous for raspberries and being raspberry season made this dish as good as it could get. The cake was light (for a pound cake) and just lightly sweetened enough to let the berries shine through. Everything was delicious and we were extremely full; we finished off our wine and looked at our check. What was the cost for two and half hours of dining for two people, with our two bottles of wine and five courses? $53, plus gratuity. Ha! We might live in Mormon country, but you can’t beat that deal. – Peter Robertson IS IT PALEO? Everybody I know is on a diet of one kind or another. I’m interested for a number of reasons, but mainly because I’ve seen the ways in which my daughter Maggie has turned

"Vinny, it's normal to sleep all day but I'm really worried about your mouse consumption."

around her two decades of pain and fatigue by changing the way she eats. Turns out she has a number of food allergies, and if she eats no wheat gluten, for example, she can avoid headaches and the resultant fatigue; easy enough to do when the alternative is pain. But I also know a lot of people who are on diets for other reasons – mainly for weight control. Atkins and South Beach (low carb) was popular a few years ago, McDougal (low-fat vegan) has helped a friend of mine with MS, and now, Paleo is the popular route for health and fitness. The first book I read about Paleo was called the Origin Diet. Made sense to me, and I followed it in a vague sort of way by avoiding what Michael Pollan calls “edible foodlike substances.” So far so good. But this diet plan has exploded, and you find Paleo everywhere now. Former vegetarians are trying to follow it. We have a local MD who is prescribing the Paleo diet to all her patients, and several of my co-workers are “Paleoing” all of their meals. So what is Paleo? Well, specifically the diet calls for lots of meat, supplemented by fruits and vegetables, and the avoidance of grains, legumes, and dairy. I recently ran across a TED talk given by Dr. Christina Warinner, a Harvard-educated anthropologist, who looked at the diet from a scientific point of view, and found that the Paleo diet has no basis in archeological reality. She backs up her assertions by looking at stone tool evidence, and shows charts

and graphs illustrating the many paleo diets worldwide. There is no one paleo diet; there are many, depending on geography. In essence, the “Paleo diet” is local, diverse, fresh and in season, and rich in species. To get back to Michael Pollan, who is still the gold standard for looking at our relationship with nature, the result of his studies can be stated thusly: “Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much.” Real food, freshly harvested and simply prepared, kind of like the Robertson’s method of hunting, gardening, cooking and eating. It tastes good, and is good for you. You can’t beat that! – Sally Perrine

LA TORRE DI GARGONZA Monte San Savino, Tuscany Having travelled extensively in Italy (but also being rather a cheapskate when it comes to restaurants) I consider La Torre located at Castello di Gargonza to be one Tuscany’s best restaurants. It is owned and managed by the Guicciardini family, as is the village to which it is attached. Castello di Gargonza, located in the heart of the Tuscan hills, is a thirteenth century fortified village that began life as a 900 hectare (about 3.5 square miles) share-cropped farm, eventually deserted as populations moved to the cities for work. In 1970, Count Roberto Guiccciardini from Florence began the restoration of the village with the aim of preserving the original architecture. Today the ancient houses are rented as rustic but charming self-catering houses. Also located on the estate just outside the village walls

and surrounded by olive trees overlooking the Val di Chiana, is a gorgeous swimming pool, relaxing gardens, and La Torre, a traditional Tuscan restaurant serving homemade pasta and grilled Chianina meat. Gargonza is an ideal base for visiting the cities of Siena, Arezzo and Florence, and for visiting the wine regions of Chianti, Montepulciano and Montalcino. I have been taking groups to Gargonza for over 20 years, usually employing our own cook, but for the past several years, my tour groups have eaten every dinner for two weeks at La Torre. Each year before we visit, the chef sends me a two week menu offering a choice of two or three items for each course for each meal, from which I am supposed to put together a four or five course menu (appetizer, pasta, meat, veg, dessert) for each night. Here are some sample offerings:RibolittaPici (the local pasta made in house) in wild boar sauceChianina steak in rosemary sauceGrilled wild boar in juniper sauceTorta della nonna (granny’s cake) with wild berries and Bavarian creamThinly sliced duck breast with balsamic vinegar dressingMixed sheep cheeses with local honey and jams“A thousand layers of zucchini” with tomato and mozzarellaTortello filled with ricotta cheese and red chicoryVegetable flan with olive oil dressingChianina beef carpaccio with wild mushrooms (from the surrounding forest)

The food is all authentic Tuscan, made with local ingredients, mouth-watering, and always way too much. The pasta is always homemade, the Chianina meat is cooked over embers, and the wines (over 60 labels, including their own) are from the nearby regions of Chianti, Colli Senesi, Montalcino and Montepulciano. Let’s go! – Marty Greer

TAJ MAHAL Boise, ID What’s better on a frigid winter day than hearty, saucy, spicy Indian cuisine? Boise has a very traditional Indian restaurant called Taj Mahal. The place is run by an Indian family and the ambiance is reminiscent of Bollywood – murals of pillars and temples, traditional Indian instruments hung in clusters on the wall and a TV that plays only Bollywood movies. A typical arrival at Taj Mahal goes like this: you walk in with your party and the host says “hello” and “just a moment,” you see there are a few other tables, but mostly an open dining room. You say there are four in your party and he leads you to a table, telling you as you sit down that “this special table is $5 extra.” You laugh and he gives you a serious look and then after a moment, a slight laugh. You sit there and look over the expansive menu as well as the beer selection, which is expansive and trends towards Belgian and English beers, which are my favorite. We decide on a Chimay, a Delirium Noel, Fuller’s London Porter and an order of naan. The waiter comes back after some time and informs you they don’t have

either the Chimay, the Fuller’s or the Delirium but recommends their Maharaja Premium Pilsner and Taj Mahal Premium Lager that will “compare nicely.” For the record, they have never had any of the beers we’ve wanted to order. Luckily the food items that are listed are available – we order saag paneer from the “vegetable delights” category, chicken Vindaloo, and lamb Rogan Josh – descriptions of which all contain the word “sauce,” whether it be spicy curry sauce, rich crème sauce (of which there are many), coconut sauce, mustard oil sauce, or both, such as the chicken Makhni (Butter Chicken), “tender strips of boneless chicken cooked in a rich cream sauce with herbs.” We over-order with the encouragement of the server and begin our wait. No one should ever go to Taj Mahal for a quick meal. You should go early and expect to close down the restaurant late. The naan arrives and we pick at it slowly, wanting to wait for all the saucy dishes to pair with the sauce sponge naan bread. We finish the naan. The lamb Rogan Josh, the fresh boneless lamb cooked in a yogurt-based curry sauce with select spices arrives. We order more naan, because we still have a medley of chutneys to work through, and we are hungry. By the time the food arrives, we’ve worked up another appetite, encouraged by the naan. One person in our party still hasn’t received the lassi she ordered and eventually after requesting it again, gives up on the idea. When the dinner dishes arrive there are little pots full of bright green sauce and a

creamy curry sauce and a bright red sauce. Each of us serves ourselves a generous portion of rice and then ladles the pungent, meaty dishes onto the rice and additionally the saag paneer, spinach with cheese, onto the plate. The third order of naan arrives and we are sopping up all the colorful sauces onto the rice and onto the naan. We eat quietly and quickly and become warmer and warmer from all the spicy and hearty food as it seeps into our arteries. The food is rich and the sauces luscious. It seems as soon as the food arrives, it’s gone. There are just flecks of rice left and a bit of sauce – enough to take home, but not enough that we can avoid the thought that we gorged ourselves on loads of crème sauce. The lassi finally arrives as we’re all groaning about how full we are. Indian food is filling like no other cuisine and you know it will only be a matter of time before your body fights back. But “it was so good” you tell yourself. We wanted to eat everything on the menu, and though we gave it the good ol’ college try, we are finally sick of the constant stream of Bollywood footage and sitting, we have been sitting for hours. Taj Mahal is authentic, and it’s an experience – the food is good, the beer is unavailable, the lassis are late and the help is sardonic. But on a cold winter’s day, it’s a long, tasty, always memorable meal. – Hadley Robertson

THE WHALE WINS Seattle, WA In addition to the momentous wedding, reception dinner, rehearsal dinner, a boat tour and a 4th of July extravaganza, we shared three significant meals at the Whale Wins. If you can remember the name and have a chauffeur to find it you will have arrived at a great restaurant. The Whale Wins is even more remarkable when you remember that forever Seattle was a lutefisk and boiled potatoes town and for good food you should just keep on heading north, to Vancouver. Trips to Seattle in the 70s and 80s were defined by getting our business done and heading back to Portland or Boise. My kids tell me Seattle has become a first rate restaurant town like Portland or Vancouver. I’ve finally been convinced. I could conspicuously say there is now there is enough choice that I don’t have to eat in the same spot to be contented. So why does the Whale Wins deserve three visits in three days?! Was it the Robertson kids plus close friends and family that made us go back? As a northwesterner who pioneered the “local as a good” concept, I can still appreciate the Whale Wins canned Spanish sardines and the fab Beaujolais La Roquett – I have personally met and shared one of their wines in Fleurie. Yes, I ate every dish on the menu, a menu small enough that I was able to consume and repeat over three days and see it as an inestimable pleasure. The bread service came with conspicuous sea salt on the butter, the perfect clams and lentils in broth required more bread, the homemade pâté, more bread. The solo cauliflower, only

because it is a vegetable, didn’t beat the sardines in mustard sauce on their own thick toast. The food is perfection without ostentation or contrived plating. My ultimate compliment is that this is a serious restaurant. I just hope I tipped the cooks commensurate with their abilities, because I want them to remember that I appreciate them. – Steve Robertson

BARRIO Bend, OR The older I get, the more places that I’ve lived and visited, I find my brain gets a little confused sometimes about time, places, people. Driving down Capitol Boulevard in Boise, I’ll see Renee’s car, and as I raise my hand to wave, then I’ll realize that of course that’s not Renee, because she lives in Tucson. Or a familiar coat and hat combination on a bike will conjure up the ghost of Peter – what on earth is Peter doing here? – because of course, he’s not here. There’s a couple of days in early fall, just as the season is changing, that the air will smell like the first day of school, and my stomach will get a nervous feeling, and then I’ll remember I don’t go to school anymore, so there is no need for a jumpy stomach. Flavors, too, like smells and sights, trick me into déjà vu. I can make Mimi’s lentil soup and it tastes just like she just ladled it into a tiny Desert Rose bowl. The only thing that’s missing is those dried out corn sticks, dampened with cold butter and honey from a tiny ceramic spoon. I was not expecting, on a mid-fall trip to Bend, to be transported back to Tucson.

Bend is your typical northwest mountain town, a recreation paradise for hikers, bikers, skiers, and beer drinkers. It was blustery cold and snow flurries mixed with downpours of rain on Ryan’s birthday weekend. Luckily we were mostly in Bend for the beer. Our first night in town we Yelped for a restaurant recommendation and decided on Barrio, tucked downtown on a quaint street, with street parking right up front. It’s a tiny restaurant with red walls and high ceilings, hammered gold tables, high contrast paintings, and a bar made from curlicue wrought iron. It’s bustling and loud, but welcoming and friendly; the waitress is bosomy, the bartender has the requisite exaggerated hipster moustache. Barrio draws from Mexican, Spanish and South American cuisines and though the menu is small, it’s just big enough that you want to order one of everything but that would be too much for two. We ordered the Sally Salad, black beans, avocado, pepitas, with tangy orange and salty Cotija, grilled green beans, tender crisp with Manchego, bacon and oily almonds spritzed with fresh lemon, tiny Cuban sliders of pork belly, pork carnitas, escabeche, jack cheese and tangy mustard, and the special: a lamb mole enchilada with kale, mushrooms, black beans and pomegranate. Everything was fresh and full of complex flavors and textures. Even though we were pushing full to the brim we ordered again, quinoa-gorgonzola croquettes with sofrito sauce and saffron aioli. Because I’ve never been able to

resist a croquette. I wanted to savor all the flavors, but when sharing small plates, it’s my custom to eat as fast as possible to be sure the other person doesn’t get more than their share. The feel of the place was pure Tucson – tarnished and garish, cacophonous, spicy, sweet, tipsy, western tropical. Full and happy, I nearly expected to step out into the evening to be welcomed by the warm desert air…. instead I exhaled a frosty breath and adjusted my winter hat, piling new memories onto fond old ones. – Jocelyn Robertson

THE CAT’S EYE CAFE Bozeman, MT What counts in dining is not what’s on the plate but who’s sitting on the chairs around the table. But tating together is not always conducive to focusing on the food. Occasions, such as old friends from out-of-town, family gatherings (maybe a fight!), lunch with your lawyer, or the stellar “union” celebration of

your first born amd her heart’s desire, champagne and Brunello, tend to steer the focus away from the menu. Some of the most memorable dining comes from taking a trip. On a trip, we anticipate mealtimes and research the unknown. We’re out of our usual routine so the dinner hour falls out of course, too. We may approach dinner more hungrily having missed breakfast or lunch or both, so, anxiety, a bit, kicks in. We ask around, check out reviews, or travel books, still, we pay attention; we’re alert. That was the case with The Cat’s Eye Café in Bozeman. Sometime between breakfast and lunch and a cold walk downtown, we walked in and a head high window allowed us to see into a well-organized stainless steel kitchen. The chef looked up from tending his steamy sizzling griddle and grinned a welcoming hello. Chef, clean and happy! Check. Chrome and Naugahyde chairs and tables snugged up

under expansive windows with a view of Bozeman along one side of the rectangular room. We sat down among the obviously local crowd and a bustling waitress greeted us with menus and the coffee question. Quick, friendly service and locally popular, check, check, so far good choice. Huevos Rancheros went by on the hand of another waitress. Good smells made my stomach growl. Menu items like Bisqwitch, Wonder Scrambles, Gravy Love were heartening and cheery. The café motto, to “Charm your Stomach and Heart with Warmth.” Their charming logo, a cat with glasses, decorated lots of stuff, décor, turquoise T-shirts, mugs, stickers, etc. Reading the story of the owners on the back of the menu we learned that Granny had a pair of cat’s-eye glasses and along with her recipes, provided a friendly vision for the restaurant. The stamp of charm and hearty made us smile, sit back, order up and enjoy. That’s why I remember it. Matching the elements of the experience with what to expect and maybe taking a little something home, the menu items in sync with the level of comfort attained; Nothing fancy, just done right. – Leslie Robertson

BISTRO CAMPAGNE Chicago, IL I was in Chicago in October for something called the “Filmless Film Festival” – three days of sitting in a dark room listening to audio documentaries. It sounded like something right up my alley, but when my friend Danielle and I showed up for registration, we felt too old, too

ODE TO A POTLUCKThere’s peas in my apple pieThe spagetti’s a glutinous ball.It’s that delicious time of yearMy plate overflows with it all.There’s salad in my puddingAnd pudding on my mac and cheese,And mac and cheese in my Jell-OAnd Jell-O in the “What are these?”Succotash spills into whipped cream,There’s always a “Wonder what that is?”It could be cranberry frickle!There’s mystery in what I’m eatingWho knows? I could even die! But-It’s amazing how delicious it all isEven peas in my apple pie!– Beverly Tonkyn Walker

serious, and oddly out of our league. When Day One was over at 5 pm, our colleagues headed to the local hipster establishments for sliders and microbrews and we walked up and down Lincoln Ave. until we settled on a French bistro for a fancy adult meal. When we walked in, the place was deserted, but the hostess asked if we had reservations. When we said no, she said we could go ahead and seat ourselves anywhere. We chose a cozy two-top in a corner, with a view out the dark-wood framed windows into the rainy street. When you’ve been sitting in the dark, listening intently with your whole body, your senses are heightened and everything looks, tastes, and smells like music.I met a beautiful Danish woman earlier in the day and couldn’t get her accent out of my head, so I ordered a cocktail called the Great Dane – slightly salty with grapefruit liqueur and caraway-hinted aquavit. It warmed me up so well I barely remember the first two courses but the cold, hard butter on the crispy baguette made its way through. For my main, I had the truite grenobloise with perfectly cooked hericots verts and pulpy citrus and brown butter on the fish. After a glass of Chinon, I had to stumble to the restroom, but Danielle beat me to it and even though I had a Great Dane pressing on my bladder, she warned me that the restroom wasn’t fit for classy ladies like us. I wasn’t in any condition to heed her warning, so instead of a lasting impression of that rye-scented cocktail or the cassis notes of the Cab Franc, everything came crashing down

when I entered that desecrated ladies’ room. Bye-bye, yeasty baguette. Farewell, snappy salty green bean. Bon voyage, sweet symphony of flavor. – Jennifer Pemberton

TIME FOR BRINE We all know you have been brining. You have the cooler outside full of bloody salty water. We have heard the spiel from Bijou about weighing two cooked chickens, one that had been brined and one that hadn’t and how the brined one weighed as much as it did before it was brined and cooked and hadn’t lost any moisture. We are all thoroughly convinced about its effectiveness. We know that it will make meat tender and juicy enough for Steve sans teeth. But… who has the time to wait three days while a piece of meat soaks in the bath (like Dad at harvest time). And who else (but Dad) is thinking about their dinner three nights from now anyway? Fear not! Tender meat is just a short injection away with your new “Butterball 2-Ounce Stainless Marinade Injector” (maybe you got yours last year). Make the oldest chuck, the driest buffalo, that freezer burned piece of bull elk someone brought you for a gift three years ago and you forgot about, edible! All you need to do is inject your brine, and cook! Guaranteed to take the gamey out of game and to make the tender out of tough! No more planning ahead. No more waiting around watching your meat bathe in an igloo

cooler. No more risk that a Labrador will eat up your lamb soaking in the garage. Don’t believe me? Try it! Here is how:

4 cups water2 tablespoons salt1/2 cup sugar (use more sugar, up to 2/3 cup for very gamey meat) Take your thawed meat (and any meat will work, be it poultry, lamb, pork, beef, or game) preferably larger sub-primals, (but even small delicate cuts will work if you are careful and inject slowly (I have injected dove breasts). Mix up your brine. I use warm water so the salt and sugar dissolve faster. After the salt and sugar are fully dissolved lay your meat in a shallow dish and fill the plunger with the brine. Stab the meat with the needle, putting the needle into the center of the meat and slowly depressing the plunger. By slowly injecting the meat it will absorb more liquid and less will shoot out of the injection hole. I try and inject with the grain, but on a big or long piece of meat like a pork tenderloin I inject on both ends with the grain and then a few times in the middle beyond the reach of the needle. How much should you inject? Well, that is a matter of preference. And it will be affected by a few factors: how much meat, how strong you made your brine, and the cut of meat. If this a pheasant breast that you shot just off the end of your barrel and is full of holes, then you will find it difficult to inject much brine as the brine will flow out of the bullet holes. I inject as much brine as the meat will hold, you will know you

TOO MANY COOKS IN THE KITCHEN

have gotten to this point because if you try and inject more the brine will spray out of the other injection holes and will geyser out from your injection site. But no matter how much meat I am injecting I always make up the brine in the same proportions. Now that you have injected the meat it is ready to cook. I usually inject and let it rest for a few minutes and if I am going to barbeque I will dry it off before rubbing with oil and black pepper. Now you may be tempted to add all variety of spices and flavors and while you can, you should first try just the salt and sugar. Other marinades work well, just make sure you puree very fine and use ground spices so you don’t clog your needle. And remember anything that isn’t dissolved will not move very far into the meat with most of it remaining very close to the injection site. Think of it like you are making something like a roast leg of lamb that is stuffed with slivers of garlic and rosemary. I really like to inject chicken wings with hot sauce or teriyaki before going on the grill. But if you want the meat to be fully infused with the flavor only inject things in your brine that are fully dissolved liquids, like juices or infused vinegars. And remember the brine is going to stay in your meat so marinades do not have to be as flavorful as a normal marinade that is only coating the outside of your meat. Inject, cook and eat! – Peter Robertson

BANANA BREADUnsalted Butter1 1/4 cups flour and more for dusting1 cup sugar1 teaspoon baking sodaPinch of salt2 large eggs beaten½ cup Canola oil2 large, very ripe bananas mashed Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour a 9”x5” metal loaf pan. In a medium bowl, whisk the 1 1/4 cups of flour with the baking soda and salt. In another bowl, whisk the eggs with the oil, sugar and mashed bananas. Stir the banana mixture into the dry ingredients. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake in center of oven for about 50 minutes until the bread is golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean. Transfer pan to rack and cool. – Brandy Robertson-Taylor

BREAD DRESSINGFor average 15-16 lb. turkey2 loaves of white homemade type bread such as Pepperridge Farms or Northridge1 loaf of whole wheat as above Dry bread slices overnight, then pull into bits and dry in oven.

½ to 1 cup of chicken broth cooled3 cups of chopped celery2 ½ cups of chopped onions6 tablespoons of parsley1 tablespoon of msg1 teaspoon of minced garlic 1 teaspoon of basil, thyme, savory, sage ½ tsp. of oregano, ½ tsp pepper ½ tsp.marjoram1 dessert spoon of salt (leave out msg and use truffle salt) *( E. Cruzen note: I sometimes add more marjoram, basil, also savory!)

Render out the fat from fowl and add to it ½ cup butter. Saute onion, celery and garlic ‘til soft. Add herbs. Let cool. Pour butter and herbs over prepared dry bread, toss and mix using cool chicken broth to create a lightly moist stuffing. Don’t stuff the bird too tightly, put extra stuffing into a greased casserole and cook in a water bath in the oven for one hour. – Eva Cruzen

THE SMELL IN THE REFRIGERATOR Yesterday I complained that it doesn’t seem like it is almost Christmas. So far my holiday efforts have been futile. We did buy a mini poinsettia and it seems to be surviving in the teacup I put it in. But the plain wreath I bought has no decorations and I haven’t even gotten out the Christmas boxes. I have presents but they are in a pile with no wrapping paper to organize them in neat little rows. The house is a mess and they keep telling me I have to work on my days off. Oh and I forgot, I have a cold and it won’t go away. I suppose this is how Scrooge and the Grinch probably felt. Why bother, it’s so much trouble. But Will came home last night out of the freezing cold and incredible dark. “Smell this,” he said as soon as he walked in the door. “I can’t smell anything,” I replied giving his ball of bubble wrap a glare. “I could barely stand it driving home in the car,” he replied. “There is no way you will not smell this and there is no way that you will not know what it is.” And I thought the text message he sent me, “I am going to stop quickly to get stuff for demi glace,” was a joke. And now we have this smell in the refrigerator. I wish I could describe it for you. It’s fruity and earthy and fresh and rotten. Even if you had never smelled it before you would still be able to recognize it. The yogurt, and the butter, and the cheese and the arugula all taste like it. One whiff with the refrigerator door closed and you will understand the attraction for pigs. When you open the door you will barely be able to catch your breath. And so, the dishes are stacked to the ceiling for not one but two stocks are required. The tree is decorated and the presents are wrapped. Gerry and Marty have arrived back to town just in time and Alicia will forgo her other party invitations. Because somebody was thinking of us half way around the world. Because it is almost Christmas and you can’t eat white truffle alone. – Bijou Robertson

"Yes, Mrs. Robertson- this is the turkey your husband pre-ordered for Thanksgiving."

HIBISCUS PUNCH3 quarts water1 ½ inches piece ginger, finely grated1 ½ cups dried hibiscus flowers1 ½ cups granulated sugar2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice (from 1 large lime)

Combine water and ginger in a large pot and bring to a boil over high heat. Remove from heat and stir in Jamaica flowers and sugar until sugar is dissolved. Let steep 10 minutes. Strain through a fine mesh sieve into a large, heat-resistant bowl or pot. Stir in lime juice and set aside to cool.Refrigerate until ready to use.Serve over ice or drop into champagne, mix with tonic water or sparkling water. – Jocelyn Robertson

This is one of the more inventive and delicious

recipes I have come across this past year! So easy

and comes in handy when you're in a pinch for

some grits on the fly! Note: it tastes like buttered

popcorn and the texture is luxurious. -Will

STEP 1: Put butter and popcorn in pot.

STEP 2: Pop the corn.

STEP 3: Boil the popcorn for 30 seconds.

STEP 4: Strain off water and mash the popcorn

through a fine sieve.

STEP 5: Add butter and season to taste. (I highly

recommend truffle salt.)

STEP 6: Serve with your favorites meat and veg!

FROM THE KITCHEN

POPCORN GRITS COURTESY OF COI RESTAURANT SF, CA.

12/21/13 The New Yorker : Sep 23, 2013

archives.newyorker.com/?i=2013-09-23#folio=064 1/2

This is one of the more inventive and delicious

recipes I have come across this past year! So easy

and comes in handy when you're in a pinch for

some grits on the fly! Note: it tastes like buttered

popcorn and the texture is luxurious. -Will

STEP 1: Put butter and popcorn in pot.

STEP 2: Pop the corn.

STEP 3: Boil the popcorn for 30 seconds.

STEP 4: Strain off water and mash the popcorn

through a fine sieve.

STEP 5: Add butter and season to taste. (I highly

recommend truffle salt.)

STEP 6: Serve with your favorites meat and veg!

FROM THE KITCHEN

POPCORN GRITS COURTESY OF COI RESTAURANT SF, CA.

FALSE BAYJames Patrick Kelly

I saw her there a few Sundays in a row hurling fatty scraps from a chum bucket onto the glistening mudflat. The bald eagles that lived in the cedar snag next to my cabin plunged quickly, carrying away red ribbons of meat in their clinched talons. Gulls shrieked and scattered like confetti. The baldies seemed to prefer her offerings more than mine. I usually fed them salmon guts and spot prawn heads. Before leaving, she cut mussels from the rocks, refilling her bucket. I recognized her from the farmers market in town, where she sold potatoes, beets and other plump roots. She wore muck boots and a tattered yellow rain slicker, held together by duct tape. I studied her with binoculars, slumped down in my deck chair. Her face had the crumpled look of a baked apple. I admired her strong, gnarled hands, twisted from clawing tubers from the earth and shucking stony oysters. Locals eat from the sea. I imagined her kitchen thick with the aroma of briny shellfish stock and boiling beets. A friend of mine told me that her husband was shipwrecked in bed with dementia. Did his eyes light up when she brought him bouillabaisse and borscht? I wondered what her house looked like. Did she spend most of her time in the garden; only coming inside to cook and sleep on a mattress packed with $100 bills while her husband stared at the faded floral wallpaper? I became worried one Sunday when she didn’t show up at the bay – the way a son frets about his aging mother when she doesn’t answer the phone. The story broke later in the week. I was shocked to see a photo of her in the island newspaper. The cutline read: Abigail Johannsen. She was charged with killing and dismembering her husband, Henry, and packaging him in plastic bags. The sheriff said half of his body was found in a deep freezer in the garage. Deputies were searching the property for the rest of him.

The pursuit of happiness, well-being and good

health- it's what we're all after. In this amazing

world of modern medicine, we can now come

closer to reaching these goals through top-notch

prescription drugs. My crack team of doctors and

researchers have combed through this year's best

of the pharmaceutical world to give you the top

pills to pop in 2013.

XENICAL

A miracle weight loss drug that works by keeping

your intestines from absorbing some of the fats

from the food that you eat. The undigested fat

goes out of your body in your bowel movements.

Nifty, eh? Get that beach body you've always

desired with minimal possible side effects that

include gas with oily discharge, an increased

number of bowel movements, an urgent need to

have them, and an inability to control them. Plus

you'll look even skinnier with the bonus side

effects of swelling in your face and hands!

Warning- avoid Chinese food when taking this

drug!

ANAFRANIL

This pharmaceutical gem is used to treat

obsessive compulsive disorder- or 'OCD' as we

call it in the medical community. It is thought to

work in the brain by increasing the activity of the

chemical serotonin. Aside from the trivial side

effects of agitation, anxiety, confusion,

depression, irritability, memory problems,

trouble sleeping, seizures or tremors, this baby

will help to relieve your worries and has the

incredible side effect of causing people to have

orgasms every time they yawn.

Our pick for best anti-depressant of the year!

Really, we're all taking it!

HIPOCRAPATIN

This one is for the guys out there with long,

bothersome nose hairs. Hate trimming those

scraggly tusks every week? This is your solution.

It works by cutting off the blood supply to your

nasal cavity, thereby halting any growth of hair

follicles. Minor side effects include frequent

headaches, loss of smell, nausea, dizziness, dry

mouth, extreme weakness, and uncontrolled

movements of the head, neck, eyes or tongue.

What a time saver!

You'll look great without the fuss!

URAFOLOL

The next generation blood pressure medication is

a beta-blocker that treats high blood pressure

and chest pain by affecting the response to nerve

impulses in certain parts of the body, like the

heart. As a result, the heart beats slower and

decreases the blood pressure. Side effects include

shaking, trembling, sweating, hunger, confusion,

irregular heartbeat, unusual bleeding or bruising,

and erectile dysfunction. (taking Anafranil can

solve that last one!)

Great news- sudden death has been eliminated

as a possible side effect!

SHOUTS & MURMURS

THE TOP PRESCRIPTION

DRUGS OF 2013 BY DR. RALPH SCHISSGARTEN

– Will Fernandes

by Jordan Taylor