The Networkers Guide to Powerful Communication

and Rapportwww.CreateaHappyBusiness.com

Carol Merlo M.Ed.

The Communications

Flow

Ideal Communication Flow Cycle

Thinks: I want a Deciduous Healthy Tree that Provides Shade

Says: “Can you find me a good Tree?”

Hears: Deciduous Healthy Tree that Provides Shade

Says: “Sure. There is a tree that is perfect for your needs right outside”

So, What Factors Contribute to Incomplete Communication?

Reserved Rozanne

Doesn’t share any personal details. Withholds communication.

Distracted Donna

• Lots of internal dialogue • Thinking about other things • Not paying attention

Wendy the Wall of WordsMe, Me , more about me, all about me, lots of detail, lots of

story, repeats the story, longer story, some more about me, lots of words, doesn’t come up for air, not aware of social cues. Me, me , more about me, all about me, details, lots of story, repeats

the story, longer story, some more about me, lots of words, doesn’t come up for air, not aware of social cues. Me, Me , more

about me, all about me, details, lots of story, repeats the story, longer story, some more about me, lots of words, doesn’t come up for air, not aware of

social cues. Me, Me , more about me, all about me, details, lots of story, repeats the story, longer story, some more about me, lots of words, doesn’t come up for air, not aware of social cues. Me, Me , more about me, all about

me, details, lots of story, repeats the story, longer story, some more about me, lots of words, doesn’t come up for air, not aware of social cues. Me, Me , more about me, all about me, details, lots of story, repeats the story, longer

story, some more about me, lots of words, doesn’t come up for air, not aware of social cues. And more about me…

Incomplete Communication Cycle 1I am hungry and my feet

hurt!Thinks: Deciduous Healthy Tree that Provides Shade

Says: “Tree”I am so tired

of this person!

I think it should be flowers.

OK

Sender sends message but listener is not attentive or forthcoming. Sender thinks listener heard the message and agrees.

I am understood.

Incomplete Communication Cycle 2Thinks: Deciduous Healthy Tree that Provides Shade

Says: “Tree”

Thinks: Fruit Tree

Thinks: Scary Monster Tree from my ChildhoodSays:

“Tree”

Receiver assumes a different meaning to the message. Speaker assumes listener understood.

I am understood.

Incomplete Communication Cycle 3Thinks: Deciduous Healthy Tree that Provides Shade

Says: “Tree”

What?

Says: “ You know… a Tree”

I don’t want to look stupid.

OK

What is a tree?

Receiver is confused and doesn’t ask for clarification.

I am understood.

Who’s Responsibility is it to ensure the Receiver Understands?

What the Sender Can DoNotice the Receiver’s Body Language

What the Sender Can Do

• Ask Clarifying What, When, and How Open-Ended Questions

• What do you think about those trees?• How would you do this if it were you?• When do you think this type of tree is

useful?• Why Questions Can Appear

Confrontational, so Avoid them.

What the Receiver Can Do

• Ask Clarifying What, When, and How Open-Ended Questions

• What kind of tree are you talking about?• I’m sorry, I was distracted. Would you mind repeating that?• How are you thinking of using the tree?• When do you think this type of tree is useful?

• Double Check What you Heard• I heard you say trees. Can you tell me more about that?

• Why Questions Can Appear Confrontational, so Avoid them.

The Mechanics of Rapport

The First Seven Seconds

• Seven seconds is the average length of time you have to make a first impression.

• It takes 5 positive encounters to cancel out 1 negative encounter.

What People Notice

• Face to Face:• 93% of how you are judged is based on

your appearance and body language. • 7% is influenced by the words that you

speak. • On the Phone

• 70% of how you are perceived is based on your tone of voice.

• 30% on your words.

1. Inflection/Vocal Variety

2. RateOR

Voice Quality

Posture

Body Language

Energetic Tone Level

Boisterous Bonnie

Boring Barry

Interested Irene

Social Space

How to Work a Room

How to Introduce Yourself

The goal is to learn to easily talk to strangers and get them to be comfortable with you.

Make an Observational Statement About the

Common Ground

Ask open-ended questionsWhat…?How…?

Never ask why!

Did you like this?

Get the E-Course

www.CarolMerlo.com