the mindful mediator: how to stay neutral in conflict resolution

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www.dyanwilliams.com (612) 323-1859 [email protected] The Mindful Mediator: How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

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A mediator’s neutrality enables parties to resolve conflicts, develop options and create mutually satisfactory solutions. When the parties have diametrically opposed positions and viewpoints, it’s especially challenging for mediators to remain centered, focused, and impartial. Even skilled mediators must deal with the human tendency to rush to judgment of oneself and others. Mindfulness encourages you to pay attention to the present moment without judgment. It helps you to engage fully with the mediation process without getting hooked by internal thoughts, perceptions, feelings and emotions that arise. It allows you to respond skilfully to your experience as it is, instead of react according to your personal biases, preferences, opinions, and agenda. This presentation covers mindfulness techniques including Mindfulness in Daily Life, Object Meditation, Open Awareness Meditation, Breath Work, basic Yoga Postures and simple Tai Chi Movements. These practices help you center yourself, focus effectively, listen deeply, minimize judgmental tendencies, and stay neutral as a mediator.

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Page 1: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

www.dyanwilliams.com(612) [email protected]

The Mindful Mediator:How to Stay Neutral in

Conflict Resolution

Page 2: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

What key qualities must a mediator have for mediation to really work?

Page 3: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

+ Neutral

+ Impartial

+ Objective

Page 4: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

What does it mean to be neutral?

Page 5: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Neutral

Not supporting either of two opposing sides, impartial.

– Oxford Dictionary

Photo by: Ramón Peco, https://flic.kr/p/4uhQee

Page 6: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Neutral

No bias toward the parties.

No judgment about the parties/dispute.

No preference in the outcome.

Photo by: Ramón Peco, https://flic.kr/p/4uhQee

Page 7: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

What does it mean to be impartial?

Page 8: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Impartial

Treat all alike; unprejudiced; fair.– Oxford Dictionary

Photo by: Palo, https://flic.kr/p/8DKS23

Page 9: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Impartial

Apply rules and guidelines the same way to all similarly-situated persons; equidistance between parties.

Photo by: Palo, https://flic.kr/p/8DKS23

Page 10: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

What does it mean to be objective?

Page 11: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Objective

Deal with outward things uncolored by feelings or emotions.

- Oxford Dictionary Photo by: Serge Bares, https://flic.kr/p/c7qWUd

Page 12: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Objective

Analyze and evaluate positions based on facts and evidence.

Photo by: Serge Bares, https://flic.kr/p/c7qWUd

Page 13: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

+ Neutral

+ Impartial

- Objective

= UNPRODUCTIVE

Page 14: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

+ Neutral

+ Objective

- Impartial

= UNFAIR

Page 15: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

+ Objective

+ Impartial

- Neutral

= UNRELIABLE

Page 16: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

neutrality is usually harder to come by than impartiality or objectivity….

WHY?

Page 17: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Neutrality(Pure Awareness)

Objectivity(Objective Analysis)

Impartiality(Middle Way

Thinking)

Neutrality is natural, but not habitual

Page 18: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Neutrality = a sign of weakness (?)

Page 19: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

“Neutrality is a negative word. It does not express what America ought to feel.” - Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States, 1913 - 1921

Page 20: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”- Desmond Tutu, South African cleric and activist

Page 21: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Neutrality = a state of impossibility (?)

Page 22: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

We have biases

We make judgments

We hold preferences

Page 23: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

In MEDIATION…

Neutrality = a sign of strength (!)

Page 24: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

In MEDITATION…

Neutrality = a state of possibility (!)

Page 25: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

How does meditation make neutrality possible?

Page 26: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

MEDITATION creates mindfulness

Page 27: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

MINDFULNESS is similar to neutrality

Page 28: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

What is mindfulness?

Page 29: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment without

bias

judgment

preference

Photo by: Yu, https://flic.kr/p/3GpaL

Page 30: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Photo #1

June 21, 2014, 2:04 p.m.

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Photo #2

June 21, 2014, 12:15 p.m.

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Photo #3

June 19, 2014, 1:10 pm

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Photo #4

June 19, 2014, 5:15 pm

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A Mindful (Neutral) Mediator is like…

THIS NOT THIS

Page 35: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Be the…

SKY NOT THE CLOUDS

Page 36: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

How do you cultivate mindfulness (neutrality)?

Page 37: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Meditation in daily life

Photo by: Jelly Druyts, https://flic.kr/p/3pEYdC

Page 38: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Open awareness meditation

Photo by: Hadi Zaher, https://flic.kr/p/nKMo55

Page 39: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Object meditation

Photo by: Mae Chevrette, https://flic.kr/p/bnXATM

Page 40: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Meditation in yoga

Photo by: Aviva West, https://flic.kr/p/ax3FpV

Page 41: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Meditation in tai chi

Photo by: Brian Robinson, https://flic.kr/p/daoxi

Page 42: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Mindfulness takes FEAR out of the mediation process

Page 43: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Fusion

Enmity

Arrogance

Rejection

Page 44: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Mindfulness puts CARE into the mediation process

Page 45: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

Curiosity

Appreciation

Respect

Equanimity

Page 46: The Mindful Mediator:  How to Stay Neutral in Conflict Resolution

www.dyanwilliams.com(612) [email protected]

Photo by: Toni Verdu Carbo, https://flic.kr/p/267df3