the merciad, april 11, 1980

8/6/2019 The Merciad, April 11, 1980

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V MSG Amends Constitution; Allots MoneyMSG representatives voted toamend the current constitution'smembership J guidelines andallotted $2,000 of the $5,000 budgetsurplus at the March 31 meetingof student government.*!The constitution change makesr e p r e s e n t a t i v e - p o s i t i o n savailable to commuters, each ofthe campus dormitories, CampusMinistry, thePace Program, theGraduate School, and AdultEducation. Positions will also beoffered to any campus club ororganization that, fulfills ! th e

criteria required for club

membership.The original membershipsystem allows for four officers,one "ex-officio, non-votingmem ber," and members from allof the qualifying departments inthe college. Qualification is b asedon enrollment, in each depart-ment . *The amendment, opensmore representative slots to theMercyhurst community. . "They can get seven percentContinued on page 6

Ted Kennedy Jr .Kennedy Campaigns For FatherAddresses Student! Reporters 9

Emphasizing his father's 17-year record of voting for | thecommon man,)Edward KennedyJri addressed a group of studentreporters March 30 at the HolidayInn downtownJThe press conference, whichopened the Senator's campaign inthe Erie area, proved to be amixture of criticism and praiseaimed at the President and theSenator respectively. AttackingCarter's "rose garden" cam-paign tactics, Kennedy said "ThePresident apparently is notwilling to come out and debatethe issues." | faft XUndermining the rationale thatthe President was in the WhiteHouse dealing with the hostagesituation, the 18-year old Ken-nedy remarked, "He was willingto debate on the 50th day, so Idon't see why he wouldn't comeout on the 150th."

Kennedy intermingled hiscriticisms of Carter with hisfather's selling points statingseveral times that the Senator'svoting record in the Senate wasproof of his concern for thecommon man, as well for thecountry as a whole. ** *r - When asked if the Senator hadovercome the character issue,Kennedy responded if af-firmatively adding that "in ourminds it never has , been anissue." * 2

He adds, "For the past severalmonths, there has been a lot ofunfounded speculation about myfather and hischaracter. Well letme tell you, in our family he isseen not only as a political leader,but as a family leader as well. Hehas been a good father to me m ysister, brother and cousins."Kennedy, whose leg was am-nutated a s a result of cancer, saidShane Named ToNew PostChosen Recipient Of DegreeDr. Marion L. Shane, outgoingpresident of Mercyhurst, hasaccepted a position as executivedirector of the Minnesota Priv ateCollege Council and has beennamed recipient of an honorarydegree from Gannon University.

S In his new post, Shane will beresponsible for interpreting andadvocating the case for privatehigher education before theMinnesota State legislative andexecutive branches.He also will be the educationinformation specialist to theHigher 'Education CoordinatingCouncil,, to government agenciesand foundations. In addition,Shane will represent the Min-nesota P rivate College Council onpublic boards, task forces, study

commissions, ?and advisorygroups. *At an academ ic convocation onThursday^ April 24, area in-stitutions of higher education willgather to mutually celebrate theachievements t of j highereducation * in NorthwesternPennsylvania. Dr. Shane willreceive his degree for hisachievement and commitment tothe field of higher education. Hehas been active in re-examingand making necessary ^ad-justments on the Mercyhurstprogram. Among these changeswas a focus on life-long learningand long range planning.Shane completes his } eighthyear in theJ'Hurst presidencyJune 30 and w ill assume his newposition September'1.

that his father played a crucialrole both before and after theoperation. He claimed that bothhis father and mother were in-spirational forces in his recovery.The young Kennedy discusseda number of issues and theSenator's position on each duringthe remainder of the news con-ference. **One of the issues that Kennedyaddressed was his father's standon nuclear energy^ "My fatherhas called*for a two-yearmoratorium on the constructionof nuclear plants," he said a s hestressed* the Senator's concernfor safe and responsible energyoperations.He added, however, that'theSenator could not* see closingdown the existing nuclear powersources. "You can't just turn theswitch off on cities like Chicagowho rely on nuclear energy for amajority of their power. '/j, The Senator's approach toinflation was also discussed asKennedy brought to light therunaway inflation the currentadministration had "inflicted" onthe American public. pKennedy stated that hisfather's strategy {involvedmandatory wage ancL pricecontrols that-would differ fromthose used during the Nixonadministration by virtue of theirduration and the intensity bywhich they {would be im-plemented. He commented briefly on guncontrol "no more Saturday nightspec i a l s * "and gasol inerationing is the only equitableanswer" as the press conferencedrew to a dose. % k*f. Concluding with remarksconcerning the Senator's s urprisevictories in New ^York an dConnecticut, Kennedy com-mented that | things weredefinitely "looking up." iK "We may bring Carter out ofthe White House ye t."


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PAGE 2! THEMERCIAD' APRIL 11, 1980

. A L U KNOW I S , THE W T EHOUSE ORDERED AN OVERFLIGHTOF "WE SOVIET FLEET A S A %SHOW OF FORCE /RsSL

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The Fleece And The SheepskinOn June 1 the place to be will beMercyhurst College as SenatorWilliam Proxmire addressesgraduates at the 1980 com-mencement ceremonies. Proxmire sticks out like a sorethumb in light of governmentexpenditures with the infamousGolden Fleece Awards. The GFAis a monthly tribute bestowedupon those government agenciesthat spend substantial tax d ollarson projects that : range fromobscure to absurd.For example, there was a studydone by the Department ofAgriculture that cost the tax-payers $113,000.-The results? Itwas found that mothers do notlike to iron clothes, f * ?Another fleece came in theform of a study done by theNational Institute of Mental

Health to discover why bowlers,hockey fans and pedestrianssmile. The cost was $75,000. Smileabout that. S >f |-But wait, these discoveriesproved to be mere teasers when

they were gcompared to somemajor expenditures. For in-stance, Proxmire found out thatone federal body spent 10 yearsand $60 million to learn that whenpeople have a guaranteed annualincome, they are less likely towork< $ 4The Consumer Product SafetyCommission has spent $157million over the past four years intheir attempt to establish safetystandards. So far they J haveproduced three; one for swim-ming pool slides, i one fori ar-chitectural glass, and one formatchbooks. On the lighter side ,the Wisconsin Democrat foundout that the Treasury Depart-ment had J "lost" $1.2million in gold from its assayoffice in New York.While his address will deal withhigher education, chances {aregood that Senator Proxmire willtouch on his favorite topic - ex-cess government spending. A lotof future taxpayers would be wiseto listen. I

College Press Service

LetterEdinboro Prof Criticizes Editorial

The Fudge-It BudgetProclaiming that he wants toextend more financial aid to poorcollege? students, PresidentCarter has introduced a proposalthat would terminate financialaid to a quarter of the middle-class college students current 1>attending institutions of higheieducation.The number of students thatwould be affected, by such aproposal, i if * approved; --rangesfrom 450-500,000. Mr. Carter

claims that the current system offederal loans is being abused andthat the government is beingforced to pay the difference onthe seven per cent the govern-ment charges in interest and theinterest rate banks are currentlycharging, JThe Office of Management andBudget believes that the federalgovernment is being used as abank, and that this in itself isundesirable.The opinion here is that thefederal government should dosome introspection. First,, priorto the current administration, theinflation rate was at a level thatLetter \ P ^ *;

provided little or no burden to theinterest rate being charged bythe feds. The government is naiveif they think students will go to abank for a 14-15 percent interestloan.Second, why do middle-classcollege students have to feel thepinch when the Department ofthe Defense does not? The SenateBudget Committee added almostsix ^ billion^ dollars ^to ^thePresident's recommendeddefense appropriation, whichalso called for an - increase.Granted, the security of; thecountry is important. So are theresources that enable students togo to college. Just because mindsdon't explode doesn't mean theyshould be ignored. -%The third, and final, pointresponds to Mr. Carter's desire toextend more aid to poor students.With colleges passing double-digit inflation onto their studentsat an average rate of 14 percent,the President need not look anyfurther for spoor students tobestow aid upon. They areeverywhere. * ?*' 4B

To the Editor: -I have just read your editorialof February 29, 1980, entitled,"Responsibility Abandoned." Ireceived a Xerox copy of theeditorial from President Diebold,who had it Xeroxed and passedaround. | |_ ifIn your editorial, the Merciadaccuses The Spectator, thestudent newspaper at EdinboroState College, of being "guilty ofthe cardinal sin of journalism. 5 Misrepresenting the facts."You also accuse Mark Mad-dammal personally of notchecking out his facts with either"the dean, the athletic director,nor the president." t iSince it is * rare for onenewspaper to attack the!jour-nalistic ethics of another, andsince the"charge The Merciadmakes against Hie Spectator i s amost serious one The Spectatorat ESC has committed the car-dinal sin of journalism I feelobliged to reply to your editorialand then ask you for some in-formation You say, first, TheSpectator misrepresented thefacts, secondly, it was "givendata from an unidentifiedsource," and, thirdly, it did notcheck with any appropriateauthority before it released itsdata. On all three points youreditorial is untruthful., ^First point: The Spectator didnot misrepresent one single fact.The Editors simply passed on thefacts they had to two officials ofthe N.A.I.A. One of these Dr.

Hurst Senior Criticizes Carter,Calls For Student Support Of KennedyTo the E ditor,On April 22 the Democraticoters of Pennsylvania*will beisked to decide which candidatehey prefer to win the nominationf. the Pemocratic Party forResident of the United Statesnd then oppose the Republicanominee in November. In light ofhe current crises in Iran andifghanistan and the ongoingomestic crisis of runaway ro-tation this choice should not beiken l ight ly.^ | * v 1President Carter, at theresent time, has a considerableead in the race for theiomination. Senator Edward

Cennedy from Massachusetts is alistant second. Governor Brownf California has dropped fromhe race. For the Democrats of'ennsylvania, the choice islear: Will it be four more yearsf Jimmy,Carter or a new ad-ninist ration with Ted Kennedy athe helm? To answer this mostm po riant question a look at therack records of both men woulde helpful.Over! the last four yearsresident Carter has led thisountry into the situation it is inow. In foreign policy the ad*illustration's efforts nave beenmbiguous at best. The policies

toward the Soviet Union havebeen unclear in Cuba, Africa, andnow Afghanistan. To makematters worse, major in-telligence failures have beencommitted in Cuba, Korea, Iran,and Afghanistan. ' The Iranfailure led to our citizens beingtaken hostage. To round out thistotal mismanagement of'theCarter Administration in foreignpolicy, SALT II, the cornerstoneof the effort to control theescalation of strategic nuclearweapons between the super-powers, has been bungled to thepoint that even its most '-op-timistic supporters in the Senatebelieve its chances forratification are slim at best. *When Jimmy Carter took officefour years1 ago inflation wasabout five percent.' Today it ismore than 13 percent and in-creasing. What makes this facteven worse is that our countrystill has no effective program tocomabt inflation. In the area ofenergy* President Carter hasdecontrolled dom estic oil prices.This will cost the averageAmerican family $1000 per yearmore for energy. His energypolicy insists on continued andincreasedreliance on nuclearenergy,- Reforms in health care

costs, housing, tax legislation,and social security proposed bycandidate Carter have beenpushed aside with piecemeal ad-vances by President Carter. Inshort. President Carter hasfailed miserably as a leader anda change in Administration isdesperately needed. SenatorKennedy offers a viable alter-native to another four years ofJimmy Carter.w &Senator Kennedy does notpretend to have overnightremedies to the serious problemsfacing our country. What he doesoffer is a clear direction ,tocombat these problems which islacking ;^ in the currentAdministration. For 17 yearsSenator Kennedy has demon-strated his leadership qualities inthe United States Senate. Hisrecord shows that, time raftertime, he spoke out for workingpeople. He's fought for jtaxreform, civil rights, health carefor all and justice for seniorcitizens. A compassion for peoplecan b est' describe hi s trackrecord. '-^ T ?Throughout his career in theSenate, Senator Kennedy hasexpressed the concerns of youngpeople in America. He haspushed for environmentalContinued on page 6

Cellman. who, worried about thefacts given by the ed itors, visitedthe campus two days later.Second point: You say TheSpectator was given data from anunidentifiedsourceiAgain,tn,s *snot true. The editors were givenoriginal academic transcripts bya very much identifiable memberof the teaching faculty, it is truethat the editors did not print hisname.gjThird point: You say theeditors did not approach either"the dean, the athletic director,nor the president." Again, this isnot true. They informed theathletic director of the facts theyhad uncovered. But he had "nocomment." For two days, theytried to reach coach Conti, butwith no success. And what"dean" should they have con-sulted we have over eleven oncampus? And given thepresident's attitude toward TheSpectator, to approach him wasout of the question. &5"The academic transcriptsgiven the editorsthrown in theirlaps you might were dated up toFebruary 19, 1980. Two dayslater, on Saturday, February 23,Dr. Cellman came on campusand was handed new, "updated"transcripts. (The administrationnever accused The Spectatorasyou didof misrepresentingfacts, but only of using "out-dated" (by two days 1) ttran-scripts. % ),The players' transcriptshanded Dr. Cellman on the 23rdwere drastically updatedbyactions and decisions of theadministration that not need con-cern us here. The Merciad, ofcourse, is always free? to in-vestigate this matter.At the beginning of this letter Isaid I would ask you for someinformation. It should not be hardto provide. (1) Could you namefor me the factsbeginning withfact onethat the ESCnewspaper misreprented? (2) Ifyou cannot name any facts, whydid you print your editorial ac-cusing the Edinboro State Collegestudent newspaper of committing

"the cardinal sin against jour-nalism?" Truth, fairness, andyour Catholic sense of consciencedemand a public reply.I Maurice HollowayChairman, DepartmentI of PhilosophyEdinboro State CollegeEd. Reply: Thank you for yourresponse, Dr. Holloway. While ithasn't been rule of thumb for usto respond to letters, I welcomethe opportunity to clarify what Ifeel is a moot issue. . $In response to your first point,yesTHE SPECTATOR did, in ouropinion, misrepresent the facts.On February 23, Dr. Cellman,NAIA District 18 eligibilitychairman, stated "After lookingover the transcripts I am pleasedto announce that there were noproblems or questions."** What this mean's to me is thatthe transcripts, 'which wereoutdated, were not accurategrounds for indictment of thebasketball players. Regardlesswhether the transcripts wereupdated two days or two years,they were legitimate in the eyesof an impartial third party.Your second point seems self-defeating since the general publicwas not informed as to theidentity off this very muchidentifiable member of theEdinboro faculty. I do not debatethe fact that THE SPECTATORknew the identity.Thank you for correcting m e inyour third point concerning thenewspaper's^ contact with theathletic director, as well as thenumber of deans. I mighty addthat the dean (s) of the ap-propriate school (s) of the collegeshould have been contacted. . 1I will conclude my reply with arationale that, I feel furtherjustifies the editorial position ofTHE MERCIAD on this sub ject.As people who yeU "fire!" intheatres are held accountable bythe law, journalists who inciteinvestigations based onillegitimate data are responsibleto their peers. Thank you againfor your response.


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a f oo l i sh |publicationVOL. 50% NO. 3.14 MERCYHURST COLLEGE A SUPPLEMENT FOR APRIL FOOLS

Proxmire Cance ls . . .. . .Scottino VolunteersEdward J. Gallagher, assistantdean, announced today th ecancellation of Senator?WilliamProxmire as commencementspeaker due to a drastic cutbackin J the Senator's traveling 1 ex-pense account.As a replacement, Dr. JosephScottino, President of GannonUniversity, volunteered to ad-dress the 52nd graduating classatthe I Hurst. Dr. Scottino willspeak on "The Negative Aspectsof Irish/Italian Marriages" and"Its A Matter of Quantity,"

expounding on his influence ingaining university status for thedowntown school.Since Mercyhurst ^PresidentMarion L. Shane will receive anhonorary degree at the Gannongraduation.; exercises in earlyMay, school authorities sat? theHurst | have decided ^torecipro cate! and confer anhonorary degree upon Scottino in

the form of a Golden Knighttrophyi being ordered throughAlley Aids of Erie.3 Gallagher stated that Scottinoexpressed an interest in leadingthe procession|for the June 1commencement ceremony.According to Gallagher, Scottinowill be accompanied by his bodyguards Mario Bagnoni and LouisJ. Tullio, former basketballcoach at Gannon tin the 50's.Bagnoni will escort Scottino inthe procession tossing maroonand gold rose petals along theway. Tullio will bring up the rearflapping'the train of Scottino'stoga in an up and down fanningmotion, ? * \Commenting on the last minutechange in speakers, Gallaghersaid, "We were very disap-pointed that\ Senator "Proxmirecould not keep his commitment tospeak at graduation, but at thispoint in time'we had to take

whatever we could get. Con-sidering the necessary qualitiesof a | commencementspeaker,. I'G.U. Joe" { has ka.reputation of being quite a.talker}" reported G allagher.Graduation is scheduled tobegin at 12 a.m. on Thursday,June 1. Seniors will gather in thesunken driveway on the e ast sideof Zurn Hall where they will lineup according to areas of study.Diplomas will be passed out inrelay procedure. As soon as thefirst student returns from I. theCampus Center to the line, he orshe must tag the next person tokeep the commencement exer-cises running smoothly. The firstschool of study to receive all of itsdegrees will be entitled to keepthem. Further information onthis year's graduation will beforthcoming as the big day ap-proaches'. I

A lifelong learning experienceShane Opens Fast Food ChainDropping previous plans ofretiring at the foot of the OzarkMountains, Dr.*? Marion Shane1has decided to open a fast-foodchain following nisi retirementfrom Mercyhurst,^The restaurant called Shane'sSandwich Shops, will open itsfirst franchise in the spacecurrently occupied by th e HRMAsnack bar, in the basement of theZurn building.' sMThe fast food business offersnew adventures for Dr. Shane,who up until this time had spenthis career in the realm of highereducation.':Shane, who served aspresiden t of the co llege from 1971to 1980 said, "You know, therereally is not that big a differencebetween the /two professions. Imean, both require effective

allocations of resources." Dr. Marion Shane

~ me sandwich shop's main farewill consist of sandwich platesincluding kosher dill slices andpotato chips. Shane commentedthat the menu may be expandedto offer soups depending opwhether he becomes less laborintensive with the employment ofthe work-study students. "Thatwill be a big plus," he said.-Following his initial attempt atthe sandwich business, Shanehopes to expand into the collegesnack-bar market, preferably atcolleges and universities holdingmembership in the Middle StatesAssociation. ."AskedS if his age? posed anylimitations on his new venture.Shane remarked, "Not at all. Iconsider this to be but anotherpart of my lifelong learningexperience." I f >r#f V T M" ' ' MERCIAD EDITOROTOSBir-J"w ' " ~This candid photograph was taken after incumbent editor SteveFrisina announced that the editorship was awarded to Bun E.Rarebutt. Frisina-added that the other 46 candidates for theposition had lost by a hare .

HurstDr. William P . Garvey,President-To-Be of MercyhurstCollege, called a press con-ference today to announce thatMercyhurst College was an-nexing Gannon University.He decreed that hithertoforewe would be called M.M.U. orMercyhurst Mega University.The President-To-Be also stated

that the new school colors wouldbe green, maroon, gold and b lue.He observed that next yearsaddition of the M.M.U. basketballteam would wear gold socks,maroon shorts, blue tops andgreen beanies with propelers ontop. vj tJ V ^When asked by reporters whyMercyhurst was annexingGannon and not Behrend or Villa,Garvey {replied that Gannon'sschool colors blended best withours. Besides, he said, when

Annexyou're number two you've got topump off number one. JSince it is not feasible for oneChristian School to put out acontract on another, annexationsseemed th e best course.Furthe r, Dr. Garvey thought thatGannon was not Catholic enoughand someone in Erie-should bewilling to stand up for truth,justice and the Polish way. ,'President-To-Be Garveymentioned that once the an-nexation took place M.M.Uwould top anything Gannon hac1done. If they proved they wereCatholic by having symposia orsuch topics as the morality oiabortion, the thought of CardinalNewman, and the Catholic famil)we would out do them/Since Gannon held one symposium a semester we woulcContinued next page T

Kidd calls memo malicious;Sets Sights On Record Tuit ionCalling a recent prank memo"malicious" and decept ive"VicePresident George Kiddannounced that tuition for the1980-81 academic year would notbe increased v'33 percent knitrather 40 percent. t : *"Whoever was responsible forthis atrocity Willipay dearly,especially if he or she is an un-derclassman," said Kidd. "Herewe have an opportunity todistinguish ourself as the mostexpensive college in | Penn-sylvania, and someone tries to befunny." * * fThe tuition,, currently. $3,000,would increase to $4200 with a 40percent increase, placing* Mer-cyhurst tuition $100 above Car-negie Mellon University. The 33

percent hike would have placetthe "Hu rst" in third behind CMland the University of Penn-sylvania, k a I > JWhen asked what the collegeplanned to do with the anticipate*$1.2 million windfall, Kidd saicthat it would be saved and used asa buffer against creeping inflation. ." I suppose academicdepartments will expect biggeibudgets," h e said. He went on tcsay 'We're still going to attemptto trim the budget, rega rdless oithe windfall."Kidd commented that he hadan idea who the' "33 percent"conspirators were and: thatpunitive measures were alreadybeing consiered^He said that thecollege had not yet decided topress charges for mail fraud.


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VOL. 5034 NO 3.14 MERCYHURST COLLEGE

O'Conner Bows Out;Trenski Jumps Inp Richard "Chud" Trenski wasrecently announced to succeedDan O'Conner * as j HeadBasketball Coach at Mercyhurst.O'Conner resigned last weekstating, "What eke can I do whena 3' midget from Alliance cantear my team apart and outjumphotly-recruited forwards?"jS O'Conner guided the Lakerstoward an 11-18 season andstepped down to the long-timeLaker-maniac, Trenski, "to allowa younger man to lead the team."

'Pittsburgh born and raised,Trenski's main qualification forthe post is his authoritativehandling of intramura l gam es asa referee. Delighted at thechallenge of mentoring theLakers, and excited at beingselected in preference over fourother worthy contenders, "Chud "told The Merciless, I expected theposition and now I'm ready totake on the best in the N.C.A.A."Other applicants for the jobwere; Woody Hayes, a has-beenfrom college coaching days;Rhonda Carlson, who guided

Lady Lakers to their secondwinning season in a five yearspan; and Martha, who is readyto transfer her no-nonsense stylefrom the Cafeteria to the CampusCenter. fj* Sfc* J .':Trenski has been an avid Lakerfan, with spoon, frying pan andbanner in hand, from the top ofthe bleachers for the past threeyears. "He's also worked as adoor guard and locker roomattendant during Laker games,so he's seen the basketballprogram from all angles,"remarked President Marion L.Shane, chairman of the selectioncommittee.$ Trenski's intial concern will bewith recruiting. "I already havean inside line on some very finetalent,!' quipped the ex-baseballstandout. *"Cathedral Prep's Tim Goreand Jim Roseto have alreadysigned letters of intent to attendMercyhurst and they don't evenwant any scholarship money.""In a recent expedition toWashington, I was hanging loose

outside the Capitol building when6'ii" High School All American,Earl Jones, recognized me andasked if he could come to Mer-cyhurst. I have no idea what wecould do with that kind of player,but I promised him a seat on thebench anyway." He'll be here forthe pre-season practice sessionon November 29," said Trenski.Now that Mercyhurst-; hassigned the NCAA papers, fourmore years of eligibility havebeen created for ex-Laker star,Jesse Cam pbell.Campbell, the school's*all timeleading scorer and rebounder,was last sighted playing lor beerin Turkey. In a recent long-distance k telephone con-versation, he told The Merciless,"Hey man, I can't wait to comeback to the Hurst and I'd like toplay four years ^ for f coachTrenski."! m uSo things look good on thebasketball front: a new coachand four hot recruits. How canthe Lakers go wrong?! 3

A SUPPLEMENT FOR APRIL FOOLS.

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Newly appointed basketball Coach Rick Trenski poses with Dr.Shane. Trenski maintains that the college president was hisstrongest supporter on the selection com mittee.

r* tfMtm si'iInquiring Reporter Asks.What you think The Merciless?

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SHAH OF^IRAN: "It is a paper which ac-cura tely! reflects America's humorousbehavior. Delightful; absurd, tastefullyridiculous. "*

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Ronnie Reagan, Sexagenarian: ), "It'sgreat, even though ther editor is Italian. Ifind the paper to be an excellent celebrationof conservatism and the status quo ."

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mE. William * Kennedy, administrator: "Icant complain. I mean, it is responsible inits reporting, and the little rag turns a buck.It's a shame we have to discontinue it nextyear." s

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I I*.; * & . >LS3*Finally a reporter askedjDr.Garvey if there was any con-nection between this pressi IJ " . I

conference and the one the daybefore in which the MercyhurstCollege Trustees had announcedthat Gannon was buying Mer-cyhurst to be used as a branchcampus for its new Law School.Dr. Garvey replied that to thebest of his knowledge the M.M.U.board of trustees led b y t atr iumvirate of E. WilliamKennedy, Bill Bryan and TomMonaghan had as sured him thatGannon would no more buyMercyhurst than Irishmen wouldstop drinking beer. ;'-4:.


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APRIL 11, 1980 & * ! TH E MERCIAD PAGE 57 7 ? 7 7 7 7 7 5 7 7 7 ? 7 ? 7 7 ? ? 7 ? 7 7 ? ? ? 7 7 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 7 ? 7 ? ? ? 7 7 t ? ? 7 7 7 ? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 ? 7 7 7 7 7 ? ? 7 7 7 7 | ? 7 7 7 7 ? ?f > /? ' ' " ' ' ' Y I

"Tw ist ond Shout" by James A . RosenthalI am this-many-fingers-years-old and all I know isBeatles. My brothers andsisters all they u know isBeatles, too, and sometimesPresident Kennedy, but he'sdeadj now. I watched hisfuneral on T. V. with my mom.I think The Beatles are betterto watch than President Ken-nedy-was because they singand hop around and make mys i s t e r s scream? w h i l ePresident Kennedy just laidthere and made my mothercry. ! %Last night I saw The Beatleson Hullabaloo-a show that thenuns tell my sisters not to wat-ch because the dancers allwear their skirts too high andshake too much. I don't thinkthese nun people understandteenagers like my?sisters. Ican't understand teenagers

like my sisters and I try to be ateenager too, even though I'mnot old enough yet not to peemy pants. ? Anyhow, $1 love watchingThe Beatles better than justplaying my sisters"irecordsbecause they shake theirheads and go whoo. Theygotlong hair which ^drives|mymom and dad crazy. When Iplay their records sometimesI get a tennis.racquet andpretend I'm George Harrisonwith his big, fat, black guitar.I shake my head but my hairdon't go in my eyes like I wantit to 'cause my dad won't letme grow it. He gives us allhaircu ts which feel like Christ-mas trees. I jgMe and my friend Tony andmy brother Peter pretend weare The Beatles. I wanted tobe Paul but Tony wanted to be

Paul and he is older and so heis Paul. So I am George so heis my favorite Beatle nowthough Paul is really. No onewants to be Ringo so* wepretend that we don't reallylike himfcause he's short andhas a big nose and is a Beatleby accidentF% I ^P? 2Sometimes when I listen totheir records I don't pretend Iam George at all but I sit andwatch the record go around.After awhile I get dizzy andfeel funny and my eyes gocrooked and I see two albumsinstead of one.I can't tie my shoe but Iknow how to work the recordplayerv My dad showed menow one afternoon when hewas home for lunch."You may a s well learn howto use the damn thing becauseI can 't afford to keep fixin' the

damn thing without youbreakin' the damn thing!"That is how my father talk s.I know how to worklthereject button and everything.My sisters?get mad at mebecause I put skips and scrat-ches in the records. I can'thelp it that I have bad aim andall my favorite songs "are inthe middle of the album. Whenthe ^albums are brand newthey are clean and shiny andjet black but in a few weeksthey get all grey and scratchyand sound like Rice Krispiesin milk.My mom gets mad at* mebecause I wear my goodclothes and shoes outsidewhen I play Beatles. You see,they wear suits and ties so Iwear a suit and my best clip-on tie. I get them all dirty andCorn and my mom starts

talking like my dad. The laststraw was when I took mymom's wig and it fell into thepotty while I was bent overtaking a peepee."This damn Beatle stuffhas got to stop once and forall!" said my mom soundinglike my father again. "Nomore Beatle albums, no moreBeatle playing, no moreBeatle anything!" So now I am not allowed toi play Beatles. Even my sistersare not allowed to listen toa I bums or to watch Hullabalooanymore. The only thing weare allowed to listen to is somePresident Kennedy album mymom bought. So I walk aroundthe house saying Cuber andBaas ton while my mom cries.I don't know if she's cryingabout President Kennedy orme.Blue Print I by Dr. Bud Brown

Think hard about the thirdfloor offZurn Hall.J There'ssomething horribly wrongthere. You've i)robablyNEVER BEEN TH ERE! Howmany places ARE there atMercyhurst College where youhave never been? It makesyou wonder doesn't it? Butmaybe you have been there.You've been there and goneabout your business ANDTHEN yOU HAVE TRIED TOLEAVE *ZURN HALU Youwalked down the stairs,opened a door, took! a fewsteps and were met head-on bythe unyielding fact that youwere on the SECOND FLOOR.Don't tell me you have neverexperienced this. Think back.Carefully. Can you look me inthe eye and, without flinching,tell me tha t you have honestlynever been deceived by thethird floor of Zurn Hall ? '*Suppose you had continuedto walk, not aware of this mon-

strous deceit. You pass by DonPlatte's office, walk throughone of the tall windows beforeyou and fa ll . . . The drop isdevastating. You are seriouslyinjured or even hu rt. The thirdfloor of Zurn Hall can kill. Ithas n ' t ^ . YET ! This isbecause Don Platte's officeemits lifesaving vibes. Evenwhen he is not in it, his officedoes this. These are called"residual vibrations" and areas effective as the other kind.But suppose Don Platte's of-fice? isf^moved P E R -MANENTLY? Who will guardthe victims of the third floordeceit from falling into thatoblivion made so falsely in-nocent \by Justice's summerbegonias? *What should you do? First,try to avoid going to the thirdfloor of Zurn. If you MUST,check first to see that DonPlatte's office has nor? beenmoved. Knock on the door.' If

Don answers, ask him if hewould be kind enough to be inhis office when you intend todescend from the third floor.You might even ask him to bethinking about YOU emittingas many life-saving vibrationsas he can muster. ^Remember, Zurn Halfreceived an * All ElectricAward. This was the doing ofPenelec. PENELEC! Now doyou urtderstand?**Tnside*thewalls on the third floor thereare wires. Many wires. COP-PER WIRES, The wires arepulsing with the dark, biliouscurrents which give the thirdfloor its twisted, convolutedlife. You are surrounded bymind-penetrat ing, 'course,electric fields. Thesame fieldssurrounded the helpless pup-pets who produced the ThreeMile Island incident.jg "Coincidence," you jsay?"Coincidence," you PRAY.Your mind screams ''COIN-

7 7 7 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?a? 77 77 Mind ReadingsSubmissions To

CIDENCE." In your HEARTyou KNOW. You know withirrefutable certainty that thethird floor of Zurn Hall, DonPla t te ' and Penelec ' ; aresoldiers in the eternal, cosmicbattle between the forces ofGood and Evil.I ^t '&I have warned you. Now IIMPLORE you. DONT EATREFROZEN FISHSTICKS! -Dr. Bud Brown gj0n fgEdHiote: Dr. Brown h as notgone insane. The, perhaps atfirst glance, - dysfunctionalmental process which appearsmanifest in this witty albeitcrazed expurgation, is merelya result of three simple cir-cumstances which have of latebecome very nearly too muchfor Bud to handle. (Thoughone may contend that he ap-pears to be subjected to a bitof brain fever, he is mostassuredly not insane). Con-sider only the following threefacts and Dr. ^Brown's4 ap-

parent maniacal obsessionbecomes less bizarre: (1) Budis an analytical philosopher.(2) He has chosen (perhaps tothe detriment of his mentalhealth) to teach a course inexistentialism. (3) He has hadthe unfortunate chance ofhaving to teach the course notin t he f am i l i a r andacademically comforting at-mosphere of Old Main, butrather in the cold, clinical andsterile environment of Zurn.These three circumstancesbeing combined together havecaused a particular sense ofanxiety (nausea) in Dr.Brown. For the time being,care should be taken not tomention the w ords "essence*1,"responsibility" or "choice"to Bud. With the careful con-sideration of his friends,students, and co-workers, Dr.Brown should be able torecover from his malaise bythe end of the term. F.S.7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7J57 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

jiuwGe acn

THE PREMIER H EAD SHOPOF NORTHWESTERN PENNSYLVANIA|420 W. 8th St.455-0511 -:

I I L * Box 45 |7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

Recruiters OnApril Campus10 Carlisle's Department Store11 Custom Food Management16 K-Mart Apparel17 New York Life InsuranceCompany^22 K-Mart Corporation23 General TelephoneCompany^24 Mentor School District25 Jamesway CorporationThese companies wil l be on[campus in the Career Service Of-fice For appointments sign-up in204 Main or cal l 864-0681 ex-tension 290.

TOWNHOUSESAPPLICATIONS "&Applications for l iving in thetownhouses for the 1980-81acodemic year wil l be acceptedfrom Apri l 14 to Apri l 16 in Egan48. All members must be listedatj the t ime of application. Apoint system wil l be used.Sign-up for the residence hallswil l be held on Apri l 23 , 1980 inRoom 214 Zurn Receipts foryour $100 housing deposit mustbe presented in order to reserve aroom.1:00 p.m. - future seniors1:30 p.mr- future juniors2:00 p.m. - future sophomores

Parti's (Toochi's)Hair Creations UnlimitedPrecision ha ircutting For Th e College LookSpecializing in Men's and Women's CutsLicensed BeauticianTrims an d Haircuts $3-$5 includes blow dryAppointmen ts not necessary, but preferableYou may sign up for an appointment on the sheeton the door of the Student Services OfficeMcAuley Basement, or call 864-0681 Ext. 339Hours: Wednesday 6-8 p.m. Sunday 7-10Location: Student Service OfficeMcAuley Basement

COLLEGE POETRY REVIEWThe NATIONAL POETRY PR ESSannouncesThe closing date for the submission of manuscripts by College Students is

PACE Presents FreeWri t ing Center |Works hopsDuring the week of April ^14, the Writ ing Cen-ter will offer a series of workshops conductedby the tutors. The topics and scheduled timesare as follows :*. .af

April 15thAN Y STU DENT attending either Junior or Senior College is el igible to submit his verse. There is nolimitations as to form or theme. Shorter works are preferred by the Board of Judges, because ofspace l imitations. Y%Each poem must be TYPED or PRINTED on a separate sheet, and must bear the NAME and PER-MAN ENT HOME ADDRESS of the student, and THE NA ME OF THE COLLEGE and the ADDRESSof the STUDENT at SCHOOL as w e l l | * ** *Entrants should also submit name of ENGLISH INSTRUCTOR|MANUSCRIPTS should be sent to the OFFICE OF THE PRES&-

Writiftg the Term PaperWrit ing In-Class Essays-Improving Spell ingSubject-Verb AgreementWrit ing FootnotesCorrect Usage off Pronouns

Monday, Apri l 14 1:00 p.m.^Monday , Apr i l 14 10:00 a m .T uesday , Apr i l 15 11:00 a.m.Wednesday, Apri l 16 2:30 p.m.Thursday, Apri l 17 1:30 p.m.Thursday, April 17 2:00 p.m.

NATIONAL POETRY PRESSBOX 218 Agoura, Cm . 91301

A workshop,on Writing Formal Lab reportswill be presented atfl:00 p.m. on Apri l 2 1. Al l: workshops Will be held in the Writing Center*lfinterested please sign up by contacting the; Writin g Center, 308 Ma in, ext. 239. I }

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PAGE 6 THE M ERCIAD I f 1 1 1APRIL H, 1280Pitch In And StepOutby Dave BlanchfieldMany years ago when I was inthe seminary we had a customcalled clean-up day. EverySaturday afternoon theseminarians would gather and doall the chores around the house.Since we had to do this everyweek there was alot of grumblingbut in a strange way we enjoyedit and the experience did create asense of community betweenStudents and faculty. You see,even the rector of the seminarytook part. fraPHere at Mercyhurst we used tohave similar events. Back whencolleges all around the countrywere celebrating Earth Day, aday devoted to increasing en-viromental awareness, Sr.Maura motivated large numbersof students, faculty and ad-ministrators to get out and spendan afternoon working- on thegrounds. It was always a fun day and i thelped to deepen the sense thatwe all belonged to the Mer-cyhurst community. |This year the Campus M inistryOffice, as part of the EganScholars project of Sue Fuss andBerniejBorinski, is sponsoringanother* clean-up day. On

Saturday afternoon April 19th weare asking faculty, students andadministrators to come togetherand put in an hour or even anafterno on of? work for M er-cyhurst. ' \ ^ jLLRay Justice has drawn up a listof about 40 jobs that need to bedone. These jobs are as diverseas pruning the apple orchard tosewing drapes. He will providethe instructions and materials./The faculty. , students, andadministrators will provide thelabor. If many of us pitch in, itwill be a real service to the schooland may help to deepen the sensethat we are the Mercyhurstcommunity. % |'To reward the workers, we willhold a square dance in thestudent union that night. TheSaturday evening Mass will alsocenter around the ; theme ofresponsibility for creation .We hope to m ake April 19th aspecial day. If you are interestedin helping, sign up in the CampusMinistry office. Then * onSaturday, April 19 show up in th eMaintenance office in the Dottomof Old Main any time between 1and 4 p.m. and we will assignjobs. Then come |and squaredance on Saturday night.

Rock All Night Rock All Night RockI I Get Set For

Carter cont. from page i Student support off Kennedy Continued from pagemoney under the guaranteed loanprogram," he explains, "but theycan't get loans at less than 14 or15 percent elsewhere. We fearthat some students are trying touse the federal government astheir bank. That is not the intentof the program program."An aide to Rep. William Ford,who heads fthel House post-secondary education sub-committee,! says the powerfulFord has not decided how hewould vote on Carter's proposalto cut guaranteed loan funding.He did say mat inflation hasweakened the effort to helpmiddle income families. "The actwas intended to;help familiesdecrease the the percentage (oftheir income) they must use foreducation,"J the aide, whorequested anonymity, recalled.|j Because "of inflation, thepercentage is going up or stayingthe same. Either colleges arecharging more, or people?are

protection of our naturalresources,' fought for strongercivil rights protection, and hassponsored measures to limit thepower of special interests ingetting cost of living increasesthat push them over the ($25,000)limit. Those who might?havebenefitted (from!the program)may no longer be qualifying forit." I 1The Carter administration is,moreover, i trying to cut theaverage amount of the loans from$2200 to $1600. &; | 4The administration also wantsto concentrate more on makingdirect loans to students. Cuttersays the advantage is that directloans are "easier to collect" andthat they can be more readilyfunnelled to students from poorerfamilies. "j S&iN"We want to focus our studentassistance on the poor," he ad-ded.

influencing election campaigns.Jimmy Carter is moving towardthe I brink of sending anothergeneration of the young to die forthe failures of the old in foreignpolicy. Senator Kennedy opposesPresident i Carter's plan ofregistration now for young menand women for the draft. It wouldonly save 13 days in the event ofmobilization and constitutes anunacceptable step across thethreshold of Cold War II. *J This country desperately needsa strong leader in the WhiteHouse. The record shows thatJimmy Carter is not the manAmerica needs to lead it. SenatorKennedy fhas proven hisleadership ability in the Senateover and: over again. SenatorKennedy is the alternative toour; ineffective incum bentPresident. I urge all Democraticvoters, and especially studentvoters, to show Senator Kennedyyour support on April 22.

Custom Sewing by Kathy! Will do any type ofMending and AlterationsBring Articles To:Student Services Officeor Contact Kathy - 109 McAuley

Check CashingOn CampusTuesday and Friday10:30 - noonMcAuley Lobby$1.00 registrationA Christian Turn-On

by Mary ManrossMedia| in Erie -has a newdevelopment by way of theChristianj Communi ca t i onsNetwork: a Christian televisionstation.Mr.' Gene Kobal began theproject in 1978. His purpose wasto {create I "a television stationthat is a first-rate, true alter-native to the ungodly sex andviolence on commercialtelevision." 1 P ^ j^The Christian CommunicationsNetwork will be one of the fastemerging | networks of locallyowned and ^operated in-terdenominational stations. CCN

plans to broadcast throughoutnorthwestern ,* Pennsylvania,eastern Ohio, and western NewYork twenty-four hours a day.The tower for the studio islocated on ten acres of RobisonRoad. Microwaves will betransmitted from th e tower to thestudio which will be located indowntown Erie .* $ f SviThe program schedule willinclude talk shows, children'sprograms, variety shows,programs for the deaf, worshipservices, and many others. miFunds for CCN are beingreceived in the form of donations.Currently, CCN has raised $40,000of the necessary funds. The

station has the support of apastoral Advisory Board in thequest for funds. *The board, which consists ofpastors from the Erie area,recommends the stationsprogram schedule. W-Reverend Carl G ettings, of theWayne Park Baptist Temple,explained why he joined thePastoral Advisory Board. "I amconcerned that the Christiancommunity has options forChristian entertainment, " hesa id . ^ ^ ^ ft ^ j , ^ _ _ ^{Gettings and the other boardmembers express a hope that thechurches in the area will con-tribute to the CCN presentations.Student Teach ing %'Anyone who expects to Student Teach next fall term, 1980 (September, 1980)should pick up an application from the education division secretary, (Mrs.Kaliszak, Room: 306M) no later than A pril 18, 1980. f

Sesler artmentups ummer andTermsStart Sesler Applications

lterna tivS iMonday, April 28

13 Bands7:30 p.m. to 2:00 a.m

DANCEYOURz

3 Come Dressed The WayYOU Want Tol lo Sock All Night Rock All Night


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Tennis Schedule| April13 Akron Home14 Gannon Away21 Edinboro \ Away22 Youngstown Home24 Behrend Home25 Wright State U Away26 Bowling Green U. Ohio Squad Away26 OhioU Away29 U.West Virginia AwayI May2 BuffaloState Home$ U.of Buffalo ., % .f Away6 Kent State . Home8,9,10 ^District Tourney At Mercyhurst 17 Penn State Away

1:00 PM1:00 PM2:00PM3:00 PM3:00 PM3:00 PM9:30 AM1:30 PM2:00 PM

3:00 PM3:00 PM3:00PM3:00 PM

CrewfScheduleApril %West Virginia University 1 PM HIthaca College-Marietta College 10 AM HHost: W est Virginia Univ AI May ffiMid America Regatta AGrand Valley State C ollege i. A

Races to be held at FuwHay Lake.Softball Schedule

AprilGeneva. 1:00 PM AGrove City % f.. I.; 4:00 PM HGannon.. ; ..* | 4:00 PM HSt. Bonaventure (DH)i i 1:00 PM* AGannon' - 1 1 4:00 PM* AWestminster 4:00PM^ABehrend i 4:00PM HVilla 4:00PM H1 May>Thiel . . . . ^ r .&* J&. .4:00PM HBuffalo Slate^DH) " .7 . 3:00PM ? HAllegheny 11:00 AM AEdinboro , HAllegheny 4:00 PM^ HBehrend 4:00 PM AVilla 4 ^ .. r . ^ ' . . t 11:00 AM AThiel S i 4:00 PM AEdinboro 4:00 PM A

Rout TennesseeLaker Crews BenefitFrom Spring Training

The Laker Crew Teamsby Rose Daley they soundly defeated theThe Laker oarspeople reaped University of Tennessee in boththe fruits of their winter raffle as the * men's - and women'sthey journeyed to Oak Ridge categories.Tennessee for a week of intensive East er Sunday! saw themon-the-water training. Rowing competing with Purdu e and theup to 26 miles a day, the crews Un iversity of Cha rleston inhoned their technique and put Charleston, West Virginia. Thetheir winter workouts to good men 's and women's noviceuse. j i | eights both fell victim to the"It 's obvious the land work we awesome Purdue machine anddid all winter paid off," noted ihe varsities did likewise.Laker mentor Al Bel ova rc. The mens lightweight four,"After only one week on the however, brought home the solewater, we're doing 500 mete r victory ofthe day by drubbing thepieces in 6.5 minutes, ove r 10 University of Charleston,seconds faster than we were last This weekend the Lakers willyear near the end of the seas on." face arch-rival West VirginiaThe intense water training in Univers ity on the wa ter ofTennessee provided the Lakers a Presque Isle Bay at the foot ofchance to make up for their late Sommerheim Drive. If roughstart on the water here in Erie water conditions prevail, the ra cedue to the weather. They put their will be rowed at Findley Lake,skills to the test last Frida y as Races begin at 12:00,noon.Baseball ScheduleApril12 Clarion 1PM H15 Fredonia 1 PM H17 Edinboro &MM# 1 P M H19 Westminster. .-.-?Sii~&itiBiSU a |T ^20 John Carroll *.. .\7.1 PM* H

23 Pitt-Johnstown 1 PM| H26 Behrend .*. 1 PM H29 Open _ May1 Slippery Rock {. 1PM A3 St. Francis 1PM H6 Allegheny! 1 PM A

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Erie's #1 Rock & Roll PalaceStreetpril 9 - 12 BridgeApri I 16 - 19 FrendzApri I 23 -126 NexusApri I 30 - May 3 Eoi

Happy Hour NightlyNo Cover Wednesday & ThursdayBand Boogies at 10:00ProperI.D.Requiredc2 4 * #^rO*?


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the merciad, april 11, 1980

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