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Volume xliI Issue XV February 8th, 2012

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Rutgers Entertainment Weekly

50¢

GIVING LUVIN'

EPA DECLARES CHICKEN “ENDANGERED” AFTER SUPER BOWL SALES

BY THE KILLA WHALEMANAGING EDITOR

HOT MESSLocal Man Kind of Proud That He Clogged The Toilet

Turn the page, geniusESTABLISHED 1970

INDIANAPOLIS—The NFL Super Bowl, broadcast on NBC and its affiliates last Sunday night, recorded its highest rat-ings to date. However, the larg-est amount of viewers tuned in at halftime to witness a spectac-ular show featuring infamous recording artist Madonna.

NBC executive Brandon Von Der Romm emphasized that this increase in viewership came from viewers who would not normally watch the game.

“We have a phrase for these people: ‘DINKs: Dual Income No Kids,’ said Von Der Romm. “Basically, there were large col-lections of people who did not have children but were living under the same roof.”

“Basically,” continued Von Der Romm. “The Gays tuned in.”

With a popular icon in the homosexual community per-forming in the famed show, men tuned in from across the coun-try who hadn’t even looked at a football since high school gym classes.

“Normally on Super Bowl Sunday, I go and catch a matinee at the Art House cinema down the street,” said Chad Willis, a gay man in Astoria, Queens. “But today, I stayed home, made some quinoa with my life part-ner, Jason, and we watched that girl bring it.”

While they tuned in to see Madonna sing her most popu-lar pop hits, many new viewers

stayed to pay attention to the ac-tion.

“I realized that Tom Brady looked really cute,” said Vince Willon of San Francisco. “I spent the second half pretending I was all the guys on the Giants who got to jump on top of him. I know I would, given the chance.”

Madonna Halftime Show Gets Gay Men to Finally Watch Super Bowl

WASHINGTON—This past week leading up to Super Bowl XLVI, enough chickens were slaughtered to raise concern for their vulnerability with the Unit-ed States Environmental Protec-tion Agency, who have now list-ed them as “endangered.”

“Chicken coops across the Midwest are reporting a dra-matic shortage of fowl,” said EPA Region 7 administrator Karl Brooks. “Obese Americans plus a should-be national holi-day equals overeating and lots of dead chickens.”

According to Brooks, chicken must be bred and raised from scratch before they are killed and made into bone-less wings, BBQ-flavored legs, and chopped into fancy pieces of breast meat. Unfortunately, since chicken-in-a-basket restau-rants offer a variety of specials

on Super Bowl Sunday, farmers could not keep up with the high demand, bringing the overall population of fowl down 72%.

Chicken Galore of Wood-bridge, NJ reported a record number of profits stating that their overall weekend sales qua-drupled their numbers from the past six months.

Owner Scott Rasizer said,

“Despite a record-setting profit, I do believe we’ll be going out of business within the next month since we can no longer sell chicken. This is bullshit.”

In addition, Kentucky Fried Chicken has already an-nounced plans to find a new featured item. Current plans are to change their name to Ken-

BY SUM DUM JOOHEAD WRITER

LOUIS STREET— After a day of eating terrible food at a friend’s Super Bowl party and a day worth of dining hall food on Monday, student Keith Re-sen found himself on his toilet yesterday voiding his bowels of the greasy mess that had flowed through his entrails in the days prior.

“I let everything go and I decided to flush once before I wiped,” said Resen, a Se-nior from Voorhees, NJ. “But I flushed, and the thing just stuck there. It was a solid log and it just wouldn’t budge.”

Resen let the water sit for a while, hoping the suction at the bottom of the toilet would sud-denly start working.

“I sort of stared at it for a while. I didn’t want to flood the bathroom. I hate cleaning.”

After staring and pacing the bathroom, wondering what to do, Resen reportedly cracked a smile.

“I mean, I did that. I made that. It came from me. How fucking awesome is that?”

After a few minutes of ad-miration, he offered his room-mate, Chris Grodowski, a peek at his pile.

“It was big, I’ll give him that,” said Grodowski, who eats a proper diet including fiber and vegetables. “I just didn’t appre-ciate that he made me take a pic-ture of it.”

When asked what he was going to do with the turd, Resen offered a solution.

“I think I’ll let it sit here until it disintegrates or some-thing. We can use the other apartment’s toilet. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

BY DANNY CHOG JR.STAFF WRITER

POOPIE

FLIPPING THE BIRDThe Department of Environmental Protection Deputy Secretary for

Poultry Affairs bawks over the recent explosion in chicken consumption

Other sporting franchises such as NASCAR are now examining how they might benefit from Madonna

Continued on Page 2

The Medium is the entertainment weekly of Rutgers University. No article represents the opinion of the Medium or its staff. The Medium is a satire publication and should never be taken seriously. The office of The Medium is located in Room 439 of the Rutgers Student Center at the College Avenue Campus.

This issue is dedicated to viewers like you.

Editorial Staff

Spring 2012

Editor-in-ChiefManaging Editor

Business ManagerHead Writer

Amy DiMaria

Shane Whelan

Joey Threlfall

Jordan Gochman

News Editors

Features EditorOpinions Editor

Arts EditorPersonals Editors

Kaitie DavisJohn EberhardtPhillip LiChris PeatmanSara EdwardsSteve Troulis IIIDave Imbriaco

Backpage EditorCopy Editor

SecretaryWebmaster

Faculty AdvisorResident Douche

Holy Fucking Shit!

Kenneth BrooksWhane ShelanKrupa PatelKristen CignavitchBarbara ReedYour BowelsIt's Suddenly Pasta

NEWS Wednesday, February 8th, 2012"I can totally see your crack"

the MediuM

STUDENT HOUSING

COOK/DOUGLASS—While many students will be liv-ing in their nice, cushy dorms and apartments next semester, many will be living in the new residence hall on Cook Campus: McCormickville.

This new hall was created by SEBS student Neil Westling, completely out of used card-board.

“When I found out I got 16,264 as my lotto number, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to find anywhere to live on cam-pus. So instead of getting put on the street, I decided to take mat-ters into my own hands: liter-

ally,” said Neil.McCormickville is located

on the banks of Passion Puddle, and many students who are in

the same boat as Neil will enjoy the new view come the fall.

The only fee that the stu-dents will have to pay is the one

New economical dorm community will be modelled after Hooverville

RU CAMDEN BUILDINGS WALK OUT IN PROTEST OF MERGERRENEGADES OF BRICK

CAMDEN—Last Friday, stu-dents and faculty at Rutgers-Camden were unable to attend their afternoon classes due to a massive campus building walk-out.

At about 12 noon, and with-out any prior warning, all the buildings proceeded to leave the campus and stand outside its 31 acre property. The walk-out reflects the recent report that RU Camden should merge with Rowan University to com-bine their financial holdings and campus infrastructure.

For three hours, the build-ings occupied Cooper Street, holding protest signs such as “Rutgers Education is my Foun-dation” and “No one asked me for my opinion on this matter”. The buildings’ presence in the

street alarmed campus officials, who feared a massive fine from the city as the buildings grossly exceeded the maximum building occupancy lev-els stated in local zoning ordinances.

The walkout was led by the School of Law building. The outspo-ken leader has described the possible merger as a threat to the buildings’ Rutgers identity, and be-lieves a complex legal battle will unfold should the merger plans make progress.

“They want to call us Rowan Rutgers? RRU? Absolutely not. I’m not going to be reduced to some sort of Frankenstein building: per-petually confused about who I

am,” said the School of Law.Governor Christie’s office

did not comment on the walk-out, but the Rutgers-Camden

office of the Chancellor said that it would take the buildings’ con-cerns into consideration.

POWER TO THE BUILDINGSFor once, "fuck the establishment" did not apply to this protest

tucky Fried Tilapia. Further-more, Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy said he will be changing the company’s slogan from “Eat More Chicken” to “We’re Sorry.”

Big businesses are not the only sufferers of the EPA’s new regulation. Woodbridge resi-dent Jelani Davis has expressed his frustration with his favorite food item being removed from

the country’s menu. “This is our generation’s

prohibition,” said Davis. “Be-sides turkey sausage, chicken is the only meat I enjoy.”

Eventually, if conditions

improve, Brooks indicated that chicken may become avail-able again within a decade but would be priced higher than a King Alaskan crab leg entrée.

for the cardboard box, which will be a “do it yourself” initia-tive in which the student builds their own space.

President McCormick is happy to accept the name for the new living space, as he has men-tioned that he wants to leave his mark on the university in some way or another when he leaves.

The only problem now is figuring out how to deal with all the geese and the poop that they produce around the body of water.

“These geese poop so much, but that’s not going to stop us from creating a safe and healthy environment for Rutgers stu-dents,” remarked Neil as he pulled out his shotgun.

BY COMMANDO UNITED STATESNEWS EDITOR

BY EASY BAKER OVENSTAFF WRITER

CHICKEN...continued from front

ME

US

YOU

DREAMS

(F)ARTSWednesday, February 8st, 2012“Do it yourself.”

the MediuM

BY: StewNamiTop 10 Baha Men Songs to Make Love to:1. Who Let the Dogs Out2. Who Let the Dogs Out (Barking Mad Mix)3. Who Let the Dogs Out (Breakz Dubstep Mix)4. Who Let the Dogs Out (Coco Remix)5. Who Let the Dogs Out (Chipmunk Remix)6. Who Let the Dogs Out (DJ Alligator Remix)7. Who Let the Dogs Out (Swanky Tunes Mix)8. Who Let the Dogs Out (Eiffel 65 Remix)9. That one song from the Shrek Soundtrack10. Who Let the Dogs Out (Phil Li Rerecording)

LOVIN

CTOTW

BATHROOMSWorst Rutgers BathroomsBy Pokemon Leaf Green

We know all Rutgers bathrooms are fuck-dirty, but here are the fuck-dirtiest, read and avoid!

5. Barr Hall (Busch): Basically just freshmen ru-ining everything.... like they always do.

4. Hill Center Classrooms (Busch): Apparently unisex bathrooms have urinals, you know, be-cause who doesn’t pee standing up?3. Hickman (Cook/Douglass): Go here if you want everyone to watch you use the bathroom. People with weird fetishes will be coming out of the woodwork.2. Scott Hall (College Ave.): I just love sitting on

a rug of pubic hair, but wait, pee stains? EVEN BETTER!1. Rutgers Student Center (College Ave.): Some-one managed to shit five feet up the wall. UP. THE. WALL. How do you even position your-self for that?

THEMEDIUM.FEATURES@GMAIL!

LOVE LETTERDear Joan Barry McCormick,

Hola mamacita, I’ve been look-ing forward to seeing you again. I keep having dreams about your legs wrapped around my hips. Then I wake up and realize it’s not true and all I have is bed sheets left to wash.

Baby, I miss you so much. I miss running my sausage fingers through your silky, smooth blonde hair. Your beautiful Rivendell hair is unbelievably mesmerizing and enchanting. The more I think about it, the more I fall madly in love.

I know it gets lonely and unsatisfying atop McCormick Manor. If you’re ever looking for an-other night like we had, you know where to find me, White Chocolate.

Wildly in Love,

The Black Panther

P.S. I’ll never resign from the position I’m in…not with you ;)

MEET THE Wednesday, February 8th, 2011“Are you a boy or a girl?”

the MediuM

The Medium

Trading Card Game

Trainer Dave works patiently with his newly

caught Pokemon, Ben Green, Stewart Hallman,

and Sam Chang

A wild Leif appears! Can you capture him?

Photos by Maria Finelli

MEDIUMWednesday, Februbeard 8th, 2012“I like shorts! They’re comfy and easy to wear!”

the MediuM

The Medium

Trading Card Game

Trainer Dave works patiently with his newly

caught Pokemon, Ben Green, Stewart Hallman,

and Sam Chang

Gym Leader Amy uses her trusted Pikachu against

Team Rocket

A wild Leif appears! Can you capture him?

Evil Team Rocket, Krupa Patel and Leif Tornberg

Bandit.Shockingly, almost

three quarters of these players had absolute-ly no action brought against them. Half were seen in this year’s Pup-py Bowl. Steroid abuse in the NPL cannot be treated like an open se-cret that no one tries to stop. Younger athletes

look up to these play-ers and try to emulate them. The growing list of young athletes turn-ing to drugs to gain an edge in ‘fetch’ speaks for itself.

FEATURED COMMENTARY FEATURED SURVEYThe Puppy Bowl Was Marred By Rampant Steroid Abuse

“The fetching, romping and gen-

eral fun playtime is meant to be a dis-

play of athleticism, not medical technol-

ogy.”

How did you spend your Superbowl weekend?

themedium.opinions@gmail.comI’ve taken a break from the News Page to take a crack at Opinions.

If you got’s a Twitter follow me @JohnnyEbbs!! (DO IT NOW!)(We swear he won’t send you pictures of his dick. Unless you want them.)

REQUEST FROM A ROOMMATE

“G-MEN!!!! Brady ate shit the whole game! Elite Eli dissected

the Pats’ defense like a Champ!”

Carl Brillanski, Super (duper) Senior

“I lost $5000 betting on the Puppy Bowl. How could I

resist?! The Huskies were 10 pt. favorites over the Dachs-

hunds! It was a surefire win!” Lee Thrace, Criminal Justice Major

“I couldn’t watch it. I was too busy studying for orgo. It’ll be

the death of me...”

Hank Mangotta, Pharm D. Junior

“Thanks for spoiling it for me Carl Brillanski...I had it on DVR and was gonna

watch it tonight”

Gianna Hartwell, Econ. Professor

OP/ED Wednesday, February 8th, 2012“We headed to the bar baby don’t be nervous...No shoes, no shirt and I still get service”

the MediuM

I’ve been a sports re-porter for 10 years and a fan of the Puppy Bowl even longer. It is a game of integrity that showcas-es the best athletes in the sport of Puppy Football.

But the year’s big game was played under a dark cloud as reports of steroid abuse ran ram-pant within the league. I had hoped it was over when Murphy of the New England Retriev-ers was released from his contract last year after failing a drug test.

Then the reports started flooding in that stars Penny, New York Shepherds, and Check-ers, San Francisco Beg-gars, had tested positive for Puppy Growth Hor-mone in 2003. Hundreds of other names were on the list of those who had tested positive, including 3-time Pro Bowl starter

When we see those puppies drag-ging squeaky footballs around the field, we ex-pect them to be clean. The fetching, romping and general fun play-time is meant to be a display of athleticism, not medical technology. Puppy stars are fed on puppy chow, not chem-icals.

In times like this, we have to look to play-ers like Montana who prove that players can succeed without per-formance-enhancing drugs. If a player that genuine were to test positive, it could shake the nation’s faith in the sport.

My message to players like Montana and others who believe in the sport is simple: Stay clean.

Listen, Can You Please Go Up-stairs So My Girlfriend And I Can Fuck? By Your Housemate

Hey, Dan. Listen, while Lauren runs to the bathroom for a second, I have a question to ask you: Are you going to be watching TV on the couch all night? You are? Really? Um, I know the living room is a general use kind of area, but my bedroom is right next to the living room and Lau-ren and I haven’t seen each other that much over break.

Lauren isn’t going to go into the room with me while you are sitting down here. She feels re-ally uncomfortable with the idea of you hearing us bang.

I really hope this hasn’t come from out

of the blue. We’ve been snuggling and cuddling and making out on the couch for, like, an hour in an effort to get you to go upstairs and hang in your room or something.

“She feels really un-comfortable with the idea of you hearing us bang”

Please? Like, even for 20 minutes. Just long enough so that I can start getting it in, and so that she’s so in the moment that she doesn’t hear you coming down the stairs and makes me pull out, like she has the past three

times. Not all your fault (Barry came home drunk a couple of nights ago and bounded around the living room like a freakin’ giant. Lauren was so self-conscious she wouldn’t even give me an old-fash-ioned to finish it off!).

Come on man, please just go upstairs, shut the door and let me bone my lady. Come on.

Okay, okay, just go hide in the pantry before she comes out and you can listen. When I say ‘crabapple’, it is safe to come out. Be careful if you put your ear against the door; the lock is really old.

You owe me, you creep.

By Wilson

PERSONALS Wednesday, February 8th 2012“Open the magic box damnit”

the MediuM

PAST PRESENT QUIET! SENATOR STOVE SPEAKS

Looks like we are back in the swing of things because theres submissions in the inbox. Keep em coming. Forever. Now that thats out of the way I can complain about all the stuff that pisses me off. Top of the list, people who use the word guestimate. Its not a word. The word estimate serves the same damn purpose. Sec-ond, when my car catches fire. Unless you did it on purpose, I don’t think that is the positive capstone of anyone’s day. Third, those god awful real housewives shows on tv. If you re-ally wanted to kill brain cells you could just slam your head into a wall a few times. Seems less painful then actually watching that crap. Lastly, people who don’t listen. You are all on my good side because you listened to my con-stant bitching for personals. You are immedi-ately put back on my shit list if you are guilty of any of the above points. Enjoy your week!

themedium.personals@gmail.com

To the fucking bitch that lives with me,I love you but I hate you. I love you because you cook for me every night and tuck me into bed. I hate you be-cause you are a drunk al-coholic

I just found a really hot guy at ROAR! (Rutgers reach out and read). I LOVE RUTGERS BOYS!

I really hate it when I’m fucking a cow and she starts eating nachos in bed :(

Dear Mom, I am not your son. Love, Your daughter

To my roommate, stop playing the Chris Brown album on repeat. He has no musical value and is honsetly not worth any-thing. Keep repeating track 6 and ill beat you worse then he beat Ri-hanna- Roommate <3

Cool story, bro

Hey douchebag room-mate! Can you please stop it? You know exactly what im talking about. By the way, you need to stop pounding colons

I’m not angry about any-thing. Fuck you

(Sounds like a true friend to me. Also, you must be pretty damn drunk to be a “drunk alcoholic”. As if the regular kind wasnt enough)

(Beastaility- not cool bro. And don’t give me any of this inter-species erotica bullshit. We all know what it is.)

(You know you have failed as a parent when...)

(Either this guy is fucked up or he’s a really passion-ate english major.)

(My request for angry per-sonals has apparently pissed you off. I feel like my job is done here.)

(Hot people in a reading club? I think not)

(Indeed it was)

CHECK IT OUT

YESTERYEAR

To the douche who nev-er wears a shirt living in the fourth floor of Mat-tia Hall. You say "nik-ka" wayyyyyyyyyy too much especially since you're not even black. P.S. You're body is not even that good. P.P.S. I fucking hate your guts, you obnoxious scum bag. I sincerely want your de-mise. If I could save state in real life like in video games, I would save, punch you square in the face as hard as I can, and keep beating on you un-til you, your friends, and possibly some authori-ties have successfully desisted me, but I would try with my dear life to fight them off as well as I could until the very last moment until I decided I couldn't bare the pain anymore and load back to before I punched you. That's all... go fuck your-self.

To the retarded bitch in my Gen Psych 101: every-one saw you drop yourMacBook in the mid-dle of lecture, SITTING DOWN, and it was fuck-in hilarious. I mean, the class is full of retarded freshmen as it is, andyou just have to make the few upperclassmen in the class like me have evenless faith in you people? I bet if you were on your knees trying to somequality Rutgers cock, you wouldn't even be able to hold onto it because itwould keep slipping out of your hands.

To the post office guy at busch, why are you al-ways pissed off when i go to pick up a package? It seems like you're in a good mood with every-one else, and the moment I hand you my slip your face automatically turns into a frown. What the hell man? Sometimes I don't even want to go pickup that new CD I've been looking foward to because I don't want to feel guilty for making your day misserable. shiiiiiit.

To the bridge in Doug-lass right next to Hick-man Hall, why are you so awkward? I tried texting and walking on you at the same time; worst mis-take of my life... And to you guys at the medium, what the hell? I submit-ted a pretty good per-sonal last week, and you guys didn't publish that shit. You guys are prac-tically begging for sub-missions, yet you ignore mine. You guys posted this guy humming and some shit about choco-late rain yet you dismiss a perfectly good rant about a whack ass floor mate. If this doesn't get pub-lished, I swear to god, I'm coming over there...

(Yeah I agree, that humming thing was pretty dumb, but a submission is a submis-sion. Must not have caught your ealier personal, but here it is now. in conclu-sion, Come at me bro!)

To the people who don't know when to fucking stop, you know who you are, PISS OFF. Sometimes people don't want to be tortured by your non-stop bitchiness. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO FUCK A DRAGON IN A DUNGEON SOME-WHERE ELSE. You ass-holes need to get a life and stop torturing peo-ple with comments be-cause you like torturing them. Shut the fuck up and learn some manners

To the fugly bitch from my high school work-ing the drive-thru at the Ryders Lane Taco Bell: you scarred me so bad, I swear, when I opened that Mexican Pizza I or-dered, I saw your face on on the pizza for a split second. What sucks even more is that those of us at Rutgers who graduated with you will recognize you every time, and will never want to go to Taco Bell again. For fuck's sake, I hope some hot grease splatters on your face so you can get some free facial reconstruction surgery.Personals! Personals Ev-erywhere!

THE BACK PAGE Wednesday, February 8th, 2012“Maybe we should call the biggest bowling championship the Super Football.”

Mini What’s Shakin’Today at 10:30 AMSEBS Information Session and Tour for Prospective Students @ CookEver stepped in shit before?! Well, future Scarlet Knights, its your lucky day as you come and tour our farms and learn exactly what the BS at the end of SEBS stands for!

Tonight at 8:00 PMMedium Meeting @ BCC-120AJesus Christ will be stopping in for a visit to let us know how well we’re doing. At least we hope that’s what he wants to tell us. Stop in for a free blessing.

Friday, Feb 10 at 12:30 AMOrigin and Evolution of Perennial Crop Species @ New BrunswickEverything you’ve ever wanted to know, and then an addition-al hour and 20 minutes more of what you didn’t care about plant evolution since the begin-ning of time.

Tuesday, Feb 14 at 8:30 AMMath Refresher for Water & Wastewater OperatorsOkay, so you know how there are certain buildings and class-rooms that you’ve never entered and probably never will enter here? THIS is the shit that goes on in those rooms.

BY KCIG | Staff Writer

This mixture has all of the charm of cherry lemonade with the bold, edgy kick of a cola. It is probably my favorite soda mixture that is available in the dining hall. Individ-ually, Pepsi Wild Cherry is a pretty good soda and Tropicana Pink Lem-onade is a pretty refreshing bev-erage, but together is like mix-ing jet fuel and air in the correct proportions to initiate a rocket launch. The rocket leaves Earth’s atmosphere and your taste buds are floating in outer space.

I definitely would prefer if this mixture were made with 50% Cherry Coke and 50% Hi-C Lemonade, but given the con-straints of a Pepsi-sponsored university, this is an apt replace-ment.

One difficulty is finding a soda machine that dispenses both the Tropicana Lemonade and Pepsi Wild Cherry. How-ever, I would say that this soda mixture is delicious enough that it is worth looking stupid visit-ing 2 different soda machines.

Super Secret Word Search: Super BowlBY DR. K | Back Page Editor

Find the following words in the puzzle. Circle the letters, not the entire word. The left over letters spell out a secret message.

ASTROTURFBLITZ

DOWNFOOTBALL

FUMBLEGOALPOST

INTERCEPTIONKICKOFFPIGSKINPLAYER

PUNTQUARTERBACK

REFEREERETURN

SACKSAFETY

SNAPTOUCHDOWN

___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ , ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ .

___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ . ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ , ___ ___ ___ .

___ ___ !

50% Wild Cherry Pepsi50 % Tropicana Pink Lemonade

BY SUPA KRUPA TROOPA| Staff Writer5 Reasons Why the Targum Annoys Me

BY POKEMON LEAF GREEN | Staff WriterMatch Maker: Celebrity Deficiencies

themedium.backpage@gmail.com

HELPME!!!

1. Plagiarising DouchebagsThey don’t even write their own shit. NJ.com? Associ-ated Press? That’s not the Targum.

2. Knickers in a TwistEveryone who writes for the Targum is toooo obsessed with their job. It’s disgust-ing and unnecessary.

3. Tuition FeesThey waste our precious

money. Do you seriously need to print 20 pages of bullshit everyday? LET’S TRY THE MONTHLY TAR-GUM.

4. WTF is a TargumIt sounds like pollution and taste like tar-gum, at least you can eat the Medium for a snack...

5. It just sucksDon’t waste your time.

Barbara Streisand

Khloe Kardashian

Pamela Anderson

Steve Buscemi

Ke$ha

Color By Number: Old Black & White TVBY OSWALDO J. GOLDBOTTOM | Sexy Mofo

1: Black

2: Gray 90 %

3: Gray 70 %

4: Gray 50 %

5: Gray 30 %

6: Gray 10 %

7: White