the lord at seevaram

8/3/2019 The Lord at Seevaram

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THETHETHETHE LORDLORDLORDLORD ATATATAT SEEVARAMSEEVARAMSEEVARAMSEEVARAM

(((( Sri D.Sri D.Sri D.Sri D. Ramaswamy Iyengar)Ramaswamy Iyengar)Ramaswamy Iyengar)Ramaswamy Iyengar)

We reached the station at night,

the silvery moon lighting

our rugged path from there to the

village. Highly

unostentatious in itself Seevaram

shone that night with a

splendour which it gets only once a

year. The whole villagewas astir though the clock pointed to

the midnight hour, the

time when men usually would be only

too glad to forget their

worries of mind and body by laying

their limbs to rest and

soothing the mind with sleep. But those Seevaram peopleknew no cares that night. Either they had none, or they had

forgotten them in the all-absorbing expectation that now

filled their eager hearts. For was not Lord Varada to come

and visit them on the morrow, only six hours hence? With

this rapture in their hearts those people, men and women

alike were preparing for the morrow's joyous festivity. Not

only the Guest but a number of fellow -guests were to be

accommodated and attended to. Twelve O'clock , one, and

two, all these saw the women cleaning their house-fronts,

and adorning them with flowery flour.

Having reached the village we, my father and myself

succeeded in snatching a few hours' sleep in spite of the


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glad noises around us. But the immense joy that awaited us

was too prominent in sight, and we were well awake by four

In the morning. The news that God was coming on, that He was

but halfway from their village dwellings --this news heralded by thetemple peon sprang like cupid's darts into the hearts of the

hearers, and in a minute the whole village was completely up and

looked to its bathing ceremonies. And we, strangers there, had to

pick our way in the morning's half-darkness down to where the

Palar river at a distance of about two furlongs carried her narrow

stream of water.

I could never forget my feeling as I stepped into the water. All

round there was white sand, the watery line excepted. In the dull

morning light the river appeared like a white sheet of glass

stretching far, before and behind us. At that time not a soul was

there in the river save my father and me. The gale which was

blowing from the north chilled us to the bones and our teeth

chattered like a pair of nut-crackers. As we stepped in the waterwhich was icy-cold, as may be expected after a whole night's

exposure to January weather, and before we had a time to feel the

intensity of the chill, came the signal-shot from the direction of

Conjeevaram. The very moment I sank in the water heedless of

cold now; and so did my father. When we had bathed and dressed

ourselves we went back to the village, put on our Pundras,

deposited our bags with a willing villager and started out to meet

Him who was coming.

MEETING MIDWAY


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The signal shots were nearer and more frequent. My father's utterances of SriVishnu's Thousand Namas increased in emotion and loudness. My heart began to feel

a very strange thrill, unfelt before even in similar circumstances. I became like one

dazed with something wonderfully pleasing to the senses. The hairs stood on end on

my body. I almost felt I had lost the heart to feel for anything else. He had captivated it,

and now was coming to take possession of it perhaps. My father was touched to a still

greater extent. The fire of devotion was in his eyes which stared in the direction ; it was

in his chanting which grew louder and more appealing ; it was in every cell of his body

which had become alert and stiff with ecstasy. Thus on we trod the road with quickened

paces till till a faint glimmer of torchlight was seen in the far distance , a mere speck

of light . Immediately my father stood still , gazing fixedly in that direction till he couldgaze no more , and then fell forward prostrate on the ground. Tears of emotion , tears

of devotion , tears of joy welled up in his eyes. The Nayaka had come atlast. A

few minutes , and He would bring His Form into sight -- that divine rapture -bound

personality for which wise men yearn in this world, and which is but a counterpart of that

radiant Form seated far beyond human ken.

It was in such a state of mind that we first hailed the Dandika which was

Hisvahanam (vehicle) at the time. O ! It was a moment of the supremest joy to me

.There were a few drummers going ahead followed by a number of eager devotees who

had walked and run with Him all the way from Conjeevaram. Behind them came the

SreeBharamThangis (the bearers of the Divine Burden) ---- those blessed people

to whom is given the unique pleasure of feeling the intense enthusiasm of which He is

the inspirer. On their shoulders was the Dandika , which they carried now running , now

walking , but ever with cries of Go-o-vinda ! Hey Varada ! -- cries of joy showingclearly how they triumphed over the otherwise weighty encumberance on their

shoulders. And within this magnificent Dandika thus magnificently borne was seated a

magnificent Form. Muffled up with a neat white silk up to the throat. He showed us only

His face, a face which time has not spared , yet still possesses that most bewitching of

smiles which once had enslaved thousands of Gopis , and now turns every one of us

also into Gopi. There was something at once highly superb and secret about His whole


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appearance . The body was unseable and the face was unreadable. And now our minds

which had already been worked up to a high pitch went into raptures. The bliss was on

me -- so I felt in that supreme moment.

It was a blessed hour. Being dawn, the east was slowly and gradually clearing

up. Light growing in breadth and intensity was sitting on the eastern hilltops. Before it

fled the darkness farther and farther into the west. The winged dwellers of the air were

stirring themselves into activity. The loud cawing of the parent birds and the small low

chirpings of the confiding young ones mingled in pleasant concord.It was perfect

harmony everywhere. Dull dead inanimate nature, moving senseless animate nature

and living loving thoughtful nature, all combined produced the note of eternal

symphony. Nature discarded her shroud of darkness before the advancing light of the

rising sun. The birds and the beasts shook off their drowsiness and took to active

life. Men and women in their turn had all their mental darkness and spiritual

drowsiness dispelled by the purest ray serene flooding from the Source of all Light and

Love.

The procession was long , the hearts were full . A strange content took place of

a vague desire of unsatisfied longing , and men and women tied together by the same

bond of celestial love and saw each in the other and all in Him. There was especially

one spot in the procession that was unique. It was the place behind God and before the

Vedic Brahmins. Far ahead went the glimmering torchlights whose light mingled itself

with the repeated beats of the drummers as they together gladdened the

senses. Immediately in front and nearer than these could be perceived by the Dandigai,

its sombre-coloured top and the long supporting cane alone visible as it was moving

on, the cynosure of a thousand eyes that eagerly clustered round it. From behind came

the sturdy sounds of the ancient Marai ()as they emanated from the fatigued

Brahmana Sreshtas who appeared to have vowed themselves to eternal kainkarya

(service) to the Lord. To the right was the whitening east. To the left was the shadowy

west. It was a commingling of all the pleasant feelings that man is capable of

perceiving. Each sense in man had its feast. The eyes were gladdened by the glimmer


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of the torchlights, the glow of the morn, and the glory of the Form. The ears revelled in

the familiar sounds of the beatbeat of the Udal () and Thiruchinnam and in the

supreme sweetess of the Srutis. The mouth was pleasurably engaged in

reciting Stotrasand Pasurams or calling out the splendid names of the Lord suchas Saranya ! Apath-Bhandhava ! Anatha-Rakshaka ! Deena-bandho ! Deena-dayalo !

Varada ! Varada-Prabho !and so on. The nose had enough to do smell the fragrance of

the flowers that were then opening their buds to the magic touch of the morning sun ,

and to inhale the divine odour that filled the whole atmosphere on account of the Divine

Presence. The body forgot itself in moving as one of the Adiyar Kuzham (

) followingtheLord whereever. He might lead, even as the cows and cow-herds

are said to have followed the Piper of Brindhvan. Not a face but was aglow, not an eye

but was a-lit, not a muscle but was alert. It was a living instance of "LayaLayaLayaLaya" that is being

talked of as the sublime state during samadhi. In the most literal sense each and every

one there had all his being in the Lord whom he followed.

In The Village

We had neared the village. There were awaiting us the whole lot of villagers with

their loyal Deity in their midst. The welcome was cordial. The hearts the whole knot of the villagers were

at once offered at the feet of the Visitor Lord. They had forgotten their own God.

The mingling of the fatigue of Conjeevaram with the freshness of

the village marked the beginning of the festival proper. By this time it was twilight and faces were

perceptible without the aid of torchlight. The moon had done her work in lighting the path of the Lord to

the village and having seen Him safely in it set in supreme content with the full consciousness of having

served the Lord to the best of her ability. The sun, as if to take her place, rose full in the east gladdening

us all with welcome light and beat. By the time the Lord came to the streets of Seevaram the sun was

fairly well up in the sky and the first thing that he did was to peep through the fields of the Dandigai at the

face of the Lord. It was a heavenly servant paying homage to his Lord before taking up service. At that

time when a ray of the sun fell on that Face, all nearby looked with wondrous awe at the luminous Face

thus illuminated.

For the first time since the starting of the journey the Lord was now

perceivable in light. Torchlight did its best to show off the sparklings of His environment but it failed to


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exhibit the Face in all its glory. With day-light the Thejas (effulgence) was perceivable in all its splendor.

The sweet Face, the pretty dimpled Chin, the long ivy-like Nose and the Eyelids that lotus-like seemed to

open to the morning sun captivated us all a thousand times more than they did in the half-darkness of the

night. The silks and shawls were yet covering the Lord's person, for although in the streets of Seevaram,

He was still in Prayanakolam (traveling dress), His journey not having been finished. But it was a blessing

as we all reckoned. This is the only time when one can look at the rapturous Face without disturbance or

distraction. The moment He reveals His full Form the eye gets bewildered. Sooner can a man fix his

attention on one lotus amidst a bunch of lotuses, than try to fix his attention on one part of the Lord. The

ambitious eye travels from the face to the broad shoulders, from there to the prominent Chest, then to the

two Divine luminaries attached to His Form the Shanka and the Chakra, from thence as the eager bee it

descends to the beautifully shaped Hands, then to the Stomach and then to the Feet all a bewildering

collection of lotuses of various hues, each surpassing the other in sweetness and sublimity, each by itself

strong enough to rivet the attention o the eye and fix it for over to itself. But as it was, there was no trial

for our eyes. They rested contentedly over the sublime Face and had enough to do to enjoy it in full.

The beauty of the whole Farm in its new light was

exquisite. There were the soft eyelids suggestive of repose and sweet and balmy mercy. There was the

lofty ivy-like nose which in its well-defined prominence enraptured every soul. The sweet chin that neatly

protruded from beneath the mouth shone in splendid contrast to the covered parts below. The cheeks

bore the dimples caused by the constant kissings of a thousand Nachimars (Consorts) to whom lips the

Lord's well formed cheeks are the playground. Above all there was the charming mouth about whose

corners a sweet ravishing smile was lurkinginscrutable in extent and unknowable in import. The two lips

slightly parted threatening to show off the pearly whiteness inside justified every Gopi who had almost lost

her life for one sweet kiss from those treasures of divine Ananda. The forehead bright as the moon and

quite as broad seemed to have grown into the dazzling "Savari Paghai" the shining head dress of the

Lord when engaged in travel. The whole Face was a splendid flower just bloomed, full of honey to the

eager eyes that roamed to and fro along its honey-choked extent.

This was the Face that met the gaze of each villager as he came forward with

offerings in his hands and love in his heart.

Needless to say the small village was then in its gala attire. Men and women, old

and young, rich and poor were dressed in their best. Even the streets of undulated levels looked grand.

They were decked with flowery designs below, and green and gay festoons above. Each house-front had


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been made attractive by mango leaf festoons and pairs of bright shining Indian lamps. Each house-front

was thronged with the inmates thereof together with all possible relations of theirs comprising the very

aged, the middle aged, the youthful, the boyish and the babyish ones. It was a day when people came to

the village claiming relationships which had been forgotten. The principal man of each house had in his

hands a broad plate whereon lay the chosen offerings which he brought to the Lord who was gracing his

village that day with His presence. To receive and acknowledge these the Lord paused at each house-

front, and at each pause those around including the inmates of the house rushed toward and clustered

round the Dandigai eager to catch a glimpse at that face which had come to bless them all that day, and

to receive on their heads the Srisatari or the golden crown surmounted by His Paduka. This necessarily

made the procession very slow along the streets of the village. There were even frequent punctuations of

mandapappadies or small halts in specially erected mantapams or pandals. In these portions of the

festivals we had necessarily to lose sight of the Lord for a pretty long time. It was not until the last

mandapappadi was over and the Lord started towards the foot of the Hill that we again attached

ourselves to the front of His procession and renewed our wondering gaze at His wondrous form.

AT THE FOOT OF THE HILL

This was the beginning of the second portion of the festival which, I was

to find out , afforded opportunities of a Dharsan which surpassed all others I had ever

beheld even of this very Lord on other occasions. From this village the procession

wended its way round the principal Hill till it came to foot of it. Here had gathered

another immense crowd come to worship this living God ofKaliyuga. Just opposite to

the first step in the ascent of the Hill there was a pause, and in the trice of

the Dandigai was thickly crowded round by a huge concourse of worshippers. Though

almost crowded out from the spot nearest the Dandigai we still managed to peer now

over the heads of others, and now through the chinks of the crowd. and what met myeye there baffles description. The the Divine form was revealing itself --- the mystery

was being unravelled. Folds after folds of shawl and silk were being removed ; they

were varied and picturesque hues and colours, and at each stage the particular shawl

or silk which fell to be removed next as it surrounded that sweet and slender form

looked so elegant and exquisite that in itself it appeared a perfectly fitting costume for

that divine Image. after --- I cannot say how many -- some such were removed,


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there suddenly appeared a stage when all at once a thousand stars threw out their

scintillating lustre from that divine form through an enveloping thin veil of dark blue

colour. It took the eye a minute to realise that it was the last silk --- a dark blue one --

which was so transparent as to let out the shooting rays of the emeralds and sapphiresof the ornaments which bedecked that Beauteous Form which was fit to adorn all the

ornaments in the world. Next second that silk too was lightly set aside and immediately

a thousand the eyes was something which no human eye could behold unless it was

blessed with the Divya Sakthi(supernatural power) such as the one conferred on Arjna

by Krishna, or unless He that Beauteous Lord of wondrous Form had chosen to greet it

of His own Free will and sankalpa with this immensely attractive Incarnation of

Beauty. This was the very vision which the Gopis had hugged to their eager hearts, the

very vision which stood revealed in all its glory to the child Dhruva -- a vision

indeed calculated to strike dumb a thousand Manmathas. This was the beauty of

which the Srutissay in unmistakable terms " It is far beyond the reach of thought or

speech" . This is the figure that day and night without a moment's cessation gladdens

the eyes of Sri Lakshmi, the Divine Consort who in this Face and Form finds perennial

and ever new Rasa. It was in short the Divya Abhirupyam which unsexed the severe

sexless sages of yore and made one sage of recent times even to reject the Bliss of

Paramapada as secondary when compared to this.

A Valmiki, a Vyasa, a Suka, or a Parakala or Parankusa would perhaps have

attempted to speak of this sweet and sublime Vision of Beauty in language appropriate

to it. It is sheer madness for one of my type to attempt it. My language has nothing in it

of truth or goodness. Trained as it is in sin and slang, it must be the last to attempt a

description of this pure and ethereal beauty. I shall be paying the best homage to it by

passing on without pausing on it any more

The Ascent

As soon as the dense throng round about could be compelled to

make a way, the Dandigai began to move up the Hill. And with the ascent

there developed on this most picturesque canvas a new picture. The


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ascent being steep the Dandigai as it was borne up became inclined. The

erstwhile erect Lord-so erect indeed that the Hill before him looked bent-

now assumed a reclining posture. The Archakas with careful and loving

hands held up a soft and downy Divan behind so that the soft Form of the

Lord may rest on it as the Hill was being ascended.

The world-Artist that He is-God has painted many beautiful and

charming pictures in the form of this huge and varied wide universe; but He

too could not do justice to this picture if He were to attempt it. It was soglorious and so perfect. The blending of colours and the beautiful and

appropriate background would have baffled the painting brush of any artist-

even if it be He. Even without the central figure that adorned and beautified

the spot now, the place in its natural scenery was immensely striking. The

winding expanse of the Palar below, the dark hillocks beyond, the

shiningorb of day behind, the thousand eager and beaming faces all

around, the lofty ascent up this Hill, --it was in short a picture to be seen or

imagined-never to be told or portrayed. The central figure was of course

that Rapture-bound Divine Personality that shed beauty all round and

infused into the ugliest environment a transcendental beauty. It was

nothing new to Him. On the contrary we have heard it said by sages of

yore that it was very usual with Him. We have in fact the certificates of

such an austere rishi as Janaka, such a heartless rakshasa as Mareecha,

such a rigid Jitendria as Hanuman and such as sexless sage as Suka-that

He the Manmatha of Manmathas used to shed lustre wherever He went

and to adorn and transform into a shining place of beauty the most prosaic

towns, forests, hills and riversides. It was our great truth and

appropriatenesss contained in the lavish descriptions one comes across in


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the ancient works of religious art such as the Srimad Ramayanam and the

Srimad Bhagavatam.

How can I do justice to the thoughts that well up in my mind even

now as I go back to that blissful day and recollect the position of the

procession just halfway up the Hill? At that spot the whole landscape

completely unfurls itself to your view and when your eyes travel from the

distant horizon slowly through the expanse of sand bisected by a narrow

sheet of water glistening in the sun. through the concourse of people drawnup behind the Dandigai from whose depths are wafted up to you the sweet

chanting of the Scriptures, to the cynosure of all eyes, seated or rather

reclining in the Dandigai, you are sure to feel transported into some region

never before visited by you. But in truth you will not have eyes for all

that. The ravishing God of your heart would dance before your eyes here,

there and everywhere, with His shining Savaripagai, bewitching Face,

respleudent Sankha and Chakra, scintillating myriads of jewels and the

sweet little Lotus Feet softly reclining against the cushion-like Diwan

behind. If you are an artist you can admire such unparallelled beauty; if

you are a philospher you can speculate upon the meaning of such ethereal

manifestations; if you are a mystic you can love and feel how well you are

loved by that Fountain of Love and Beauty; even if you are an atheist you

wil be struck with the manifestation of something above human, - that

unspeakable something, which you seee but cannot explain awat, worrying

you innermost himd all the shile. It is a dharsan that heals all sores, quells

all doubts, solves all problems, stills all disputation, and fills all hearts: a

Dharsan that stifles the agnostic, awes the atheist, satisfies the

philosopher, and infatuates the mystic.


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Before our eyes could gather in a fraction of that splendid Light we

had reached the summit of the Hill whereon was the Mantapam in whichHe was to stay that day. After He was safely lodged in the Mantapam we

most reluctantly tore ourselves away from His presence and came outside

the curtain. There we prostracted deeply grateful for the immense grace

with which He had bestowed upon us that day the great boon of being in

His company for a while and gazing the vision of His ecstatic Beauty. Then

with an anjali lifted towards His permanent Abode-Hasthigiri-which loomed

on the the western horizon and after pradakshinams round the Mantapam

we decended the Hill, feeling at every step the differene between the

elevating and heart-filling ascent a few minutes before and the depressing

and disheartening decent now. But the freshness had not faded from the

vision which had lodged itself in our hearts and drawing from it both

enjoyment and consolation and looking out on the landscape down below

we soon reached the foot of the Hill.

A short Interval

The cool waters of the stream in the mid-Palar invited us to take a

second plunge. The sun had by now dispelled not only the darkness of the

night but also the extreme chill of the early morning hours and basking in its

warmth we bathed in the cool water.


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To appease the hunger of the stomach for the day was an easy task

with so many kind and generous-hearted friends who pressed us to partake

to the distribution of food they has lavishly arranged for the benefit and

comfort of the thronging pilgrims. And as soon as that was over we

ascended the hill once again to refresh the soul by renewed contact with

the Beautiful God present there. After more than two hours of separation

from His immediate presence the longing to be back again before Him and

to get as much as possible out of that blessed day, made the ascent easy

in spite of the hot sun glowing above our heads. Already a regular stream

of worshippers had begun ascending the hill for His Dharsan and mixing

with them we also got up

Midday BloomMidday BloomMidday BloomMidday Bloom

We thought we knew the God we had seen in the morning and thought too

that we knew what to expect to see of Him again. But our first glimpse of

Him now set all our erstwhile thoughts at naught. For before our eyes now

stood-the same Lord, it is true, but how different! Almost another divine on

rush of beauty and bloom. overwhelmed us. If it was the soft flowering

freshness of a morning lotus earlier in the day, it was now the stately bloom

of full-blown rose wafting beauty and fragrance all round. And as if to

signify this He wore a garland of roses on His shoulder betwixt His Sankha

and Chakra. Human vocabulary was ever known to be insufficient and

inefficient to describe divine beauty. But I never before fully comprehended

this inherent weakness of words. For, before my eyes stood a something

which defied description and challenged all attempt at analysis. The more I

looked on and on the more of conviction gathered in my mind about the


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great truth residing in the statement of Nammalvar "

". Human words well up in human

hearts and uttered by human tongues rise proudly to reach the divine

object which they are intended to describe; but the moment they get near

they feel utterly unequal and fall down humbled, and collapse into

nothingness. To attempt to describe in words the indescribable beauty

which probably the mind can enjoy the heart can revel in, but the tongue

can never utter, is to cast a slur on the self-same beauty which it is sought

to praise. This is indeed a region where praise ends in dispraise, and non-

praise is the highest possible praise. ,

There are no known values in the light of which we can appraise

this sublimity; and where we cant appraise it behoves us not to praise. The

seat was changed. The dress was changed. He no longer occupied the

Dandigai but now adorned the Mangalagiri; and in place of the Savaripagai

He had now a Chikku-thadu, and a superb veshti in lieu of the velvet angi

of the morning. The jewels on His person were the same. But the facial

expression was different. The mornings vision was for the yogi, subdued

and sedate. The present vision was for the Bhogis, the men of the world to

take in whom He had put on stateliness and splendour. He was now

standing on the pinnacle of the Hill, not as a mere God evoking worship

and reverence, but as a King commanding admiration and obedience. He

was now a Sovereign seated on His throne affording facilities for the kings

of different and distant lands to pay their tribute and obeisance at his Feet.


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As the afternoon grew the festival got into full swing, with the surging crowd

of devotees and worshippers thronging His presence, each with his humble

offering. The sun was sailing towards the western horizon: the wind wasgetting chiller: the hearts of the people there were however glad and

joyous: for they were all there in the company of their Beloved, breathing

the same air as He and looking on Him with feelings of adoration and love.

The lords Lotus-like Feet resting on the Adharapadma which seemed to

have blosssomed out of the Feet promised succour to all who sought it

there. The benign right hand lifted up in Abhaya Mudra carried courage and

conviction to many a heart seized with the panic and fear of samsara. The

beaming countenance lit by the lustre of the lotus eyes and the sweetness

of the smile lurking in the corners of the lotus mouth and the dimpled chin,

bid welcome and benediction to all who mustered there. Mingling in Himself

all the elements of Sovereignty and the essentials of Divinity, standingerect in all the pinnacle of His glory as the sat without a second, dwelling

beyond and behind all men and things, transcendent yet immanent, the

inner ruler immortal of all worlds created and eternal, His beauty emerging

from His ecstatic figure and reflected in every heart of the assembled

devotees, there stood the Lord of Varanasila on the hill of Seevaram

proving the inherent truth and undeniable sagacity of the Saguna texts of

the Srutis and suggesting the correct meaning to be attached to the

Nirguna texts which when taken literally seem to put Him down as the

formless, unknowable and unseeable. The feelings aroused by this single

Figure in the several worshippers fondly gathered around Him were of


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course diverse. Some there were who in the fulness of their joy burst into

pasurams or slokas. Otheres there were shedding silent tears welling up

from their inner anubhava(enjoyment) too deep for words. Yet others wereattempting to describe to one another the perfection and the symmetry and

the pose of the Lord who stood towering above all, though thin and fragile

in Himself. Some expatiated on the paratva or unapprochable grandeur-so

near at hand and yet so far away from human grasp. Some dwelt glowingly

on His saulabhya (easy approachability) which renders the invisible visible

and the unapproachable easy of approach. Others praised His lofty

audarya or liberality which made Him mix so freely and on such easy terms

with the lowliest of the low. Another set of persons were trying to choose

the fittest analogies respectively for the glory of the head-dress, the

composure of the countenance, the grandeur of the uplifted chest-fond seat

of the Divine Consort,-the prominence of the full-sized Sankha and Chakra,the incomparable grace of the boon-bestowing abhaya hasta, and the

beautifully poised gada Hasta, the resplendence of the shining myriads of

jewels, the neatness and contour of the white veshti that adorned His waist,

and the all-surpassing sweetness of the even little Feet adorned by tiny

anklets of gold. The noise and din created by these devotees and the other

votaries and worshippers who were not so God-intoxicated as to forget the

daily amenities of life and began noisily to enquire after one another, soon

became immense till they were drowned by the still louder strains of music

that arose from the instrument of the temple-piper which heralded thereby

the beginning of the evening festival. Towards Evening There was another


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metamorphosis in the Lord of ever-changing and ever fresh beauty. While

only a single rose garland bedecked His Person during the whole

afternoon, He now began to put on flowers in large quantities and differentvarieties as a prelude to His descending the Hill. With each saram He

began to swell in size and splendour. Each stage was marked by the

symmetry and charm so peculiar to this God of Beauty. When finally the big

garland was placed on the shoulders, it was found that as vamana had

grown into trivikrama in days of yore, the fragile ivy-like personality had

grown and grown till it had filled the entire Mangalagiri. It was then while

looking on at this gradual transformation, each stage in the course of which

stood out full and perfect in itself, that I was forcibly reminded of the

meaning underlying Sri Vedanta Desikas very forceful expression

." Arulala Himself is not equal to

Himself. It was this vision that in a few minutes stood at the topmost step ofthe Hill facing the setting sun who suffused his Lord with yellow glory and

listening to the strains of the Divyaprabandha. Here again was another

moment when words fail to do justice to the sight that meets the eye. The

various assortments and colours of the flowers that adorned Him caught

the dancing rays of the Sun and threw them back at the worshippers eye.

Added to this the shining splendour of the Deity itself bathed in the yellow

light simply dumbfounded the onlookers. As if to mark off the Mangalagiri

and its fair Occupant two spotlessly white and wide umbrellas waved over

Him like to two big white clouds on the crest of a Hill. It was a Hill on a hill.

The Lord, grand and dignified as He stood on the topmost step from where


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He could be seen for miles all round blessing all nature, animate and

inanimate, towered like a peak and inspired at once awe and love in the

hearts of the assembled worshippers. It was a blessed and suprememoment in my life. As a premier Thing of Beauty that vision lingers with me

as a joy for ever and ever. By this time the crowd had become enormous.

The top of the hill looked like a huge lake of heads flowing down the hill in a

torrent of heads,-all the steps and the adjacent boulders being full of men

and women watching the passing down of the mighty procession. Slowly

the descent began. The Sri Padamthangis descended carefully taking the

greatest care to see that the inclination did not in any way tilt the level of

the Lord. Thus majestically like a ship gracefully sailing down, the Lord

descended and soon reached the four-pillared Mantapam opposite the

local shrine almost at the foot of the hill. The next stage in this festival of

mighty moments was when Lord sailed majestically through the crowd ofmen and women worshippers from the four-pillared Mantapam into the

small temple of the local Deity Sri Narasimha who came out to welcome the

God of Gods that Sri Varada is. One the entire southern side the place,

now level, was packed with ladies dressed as usual in their best and

brightest as the occasion demanded, on the north the place was occupied

by men in a thick crowd. From either side were lifted up thousand of hands

in Anjali(clasped hands) attitude signifying the homage paid by the

possessor of each pair of them to Him their transcendent Lord who was

passing in their midst like some personification of beauty, seizing

anRAnpoold taking possession of his or her heart. The divine poet Kambar


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sings about the appropriateness of the name of Kannan applied to the

Lord, as He is reflected in the eyes of those that assemble to look on Him.

--, . The

aptness of that description at this moment was indeed very striking. There

He stood before the several pairs of eyes, the one Lakshya or target for all

their visions. He who gave those eyes the light to see now stood opposite

them as the one object of sight for them to see. Verily those gathered there

that evening realized the full benefit of possessing sightful eyes, for they

saw that by seeing which, as Sri Rukmini points out in her immortal Sloka,

the eyes derive the supremest bliss of all, ( ) on

seeing which as Sri Nigamanta Maha Desika points out all other pleasures

dwindle into nothingness. * * * * * * * * * * *

Like Sri Andals lion waking from its sleep and striding out roaring from its

mountain cave(Tiruppavai 23) the Lord soon issued out of the temple

where He was for a few minutes the Guest of Sri Narasimha whose home it

was. Again He passed through that concourse of men and women, and I

was then reminded of Lila Sukas apt description of the Beauriful Lord as or Personification of the Damselss Good Deeds. In

fact the whole sloka

:

(Sri Krishnakarnamrita) was perfectly suited to describe in a

nutshell the entire days festival and the several important beauty spots in


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the course of it. It was or Treasure of Beauty yet

undiscovered when in the early hours of the morning He was seen by us

completely covered up giving a foretaste of His ravishing beauty onlythrough His countenance, a splendid foretaste of the splendour that was to

be. When at the foot of the Hill He discovered and disclosed Himself in all

His beauty it was or the Abode of the marvellous in all

the worlds. On the Mangalagiri in the Mantapam He shone as the true

abiding Source and Residence of all radiant splendours( ) and

proved to be the veritable essence of the highest Mokshananda or the Bliss

of the celestials(:), While standing on the topmost step of

the Hill suffused by the golden rays of the setting sun He was the

quintessence of Nectar or Ambrosia( )emitting love and life into

every heart. And while riding through the eyes and hearts of so many fair-

eyed damsels, to use Kambars expression, He stood out as what may bedescribed as the very incarnation of their greatest good fortune. To

anticipate a bit, He was going to be or the store-house of all

auspiciousness when He would stand in the mid-palar surrounded by four

other Gods and hosts of devoted worshippers who adhered to Him as the

one hope for dispelling their sins and sorrows and bestowing on them

lasting good. Lastly when He would be starting on His return journey in the

Dhandigai once again, to the gifted followers He would be

or the First and Highest God of the Truly Learned. Now whenever

this sloka of Lila Suka comes to my mind the entire panorama of this days

festival passes through my mental vision glad-dening every pore and cell in


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my unfeeling self. Across the River When the Lord reached the very foot of

the Hill and set out towards the river, the festival was practically over and

with it the day. Darkness was quickly setting in along with the attendantchill atmosphere. It was no more a festival in which the old or the flippant-

hearted could participate. They had to bid good-bye to Him there and seek

each his or her own way. But even without them there were some hundreds

who had the bodily grit and the mental will and the hearty love to follow Him

further. And with this retinue He soon emerged into the open sandy

expanse of the Palar. Here was re-enacted the Rasa-krida which formerly

took place on the banks of the Jumna. The tall towering figure of the

Flower-clad Lord was majestically moving towards mid-river mutely

followed by resolute and love fed men and women whom the chillest winds

could not discourage or the call of the home or duty deter. Like the Gopis of

yore who, entranced by the sweet note of the flute played by the bewitchingSri Krishna, sought Him out on the sands of the Jumna and surrounded

Him with protestations of never-changing love and desire towards Him,

these men and women felt drawn and attracted by His Beautiful Personality

and charm and followed Him, they cared not where. They went on and on,

breasting the chill gale and wading in thigh-deep water in some places, till

at last on the other side of the river three more Gods arrested the

procession by the beaming welcome. It is said to be sacred spot where

three rivers meet-another Triveni, and here was a meeting of Five Gods or

rather Four Gods come to do honour to the one God of Gods. There was a

pause while the five Gods conferred as it were and thereafter the


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procession was resumed. Leading this now Godly as well as human

retinue, the Lord in whose honour the festival was taking place came back

into the river and rested underneath a pandal improvised for the occasionin the mid-river. Here He was to change into His Dandigai to resume His

return journey home. The four other Gods camped too by His side under

the protection of their own umbrellas. The Parting in the Palar The time for

parting was drawing near. In a few minutes the Lord who had gladdened all

the senses of His devoted worshippers for one whole day would have

started out on his return journey to His Varanasila. Already indications were

not wanting that everything was ready and that any moment the

Tiruchinnam would sound, -not the Vandar tune on which Sri Vedanta

Desika gloats through a whole series of stanzas,-but the tune which would

indicate to our ear the departure of the Lord from our midst. With these

thoughts the erstwhile gladdened mind began to sink within us. It was as ifall joy was going to be wiped out from our life. The body which till now did

not mind the chill breeze sweeping over the sandy expanse of the Palar on

a winter night began to shiver with cold. The warmth of His presence and

the exhilaration of spirit due to the nearness to the Lord of our hearts were

slowly disappearing leaving us at the mercy of the double chilling

atmosphere-the thought of separation chilling the interior and the biting

blast chilling our exterior. The other Gods who had assembled there began

to start off to their respective temples followed by their retinue or such of

those as had not transferred their hearts from them to the central God. A

good portion of the crowd assembled round the main Pandal also began to


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wend their way towards the village fearing that after all the lights and

torches had gone it would be an impossible task to pick their way through

the darkness. But some there were who thought more of the other Lightthat was going shortly to disappear and thought more of the internal

darkness that was going to set in. They decided not to leave the place but

to stick to it as long as they could. We were among them. On the one hand

we did not belong to the fortunate few who would have the strength of body

and the firmness of devotion to follow Him through all the rugged and

darkened paths of several villages ere He reached His abode. On the other

hand we found it impossible to tear ourselves away so soon from Him for

fear of not being able to see the path before us some time later. While our

minds were thinking in this strain the curtain fell and indicated to us the fact

that the Lord was ready to bid good-bye to us. We rushed to the front of the

Dandigai though not with the same fullness of heart as when we rushedforward to it some sixteen hours before when we welcomed Him. And there

in the semi darkness illuminated only by the couple of hand-torches and

between the folds of shining Kashmir Shawl we beheld the Sweet Form-not

in all its full and complete glory as during the hours past, not with the

myriads of jewels dazzling the eye at every turn but with the beaming

countenance alone peering at us from between the Savaripagai at the top

and the Kashmir Shawl on the other sides. Once more He had concealed

Himself under the pretext of protecting His Body from the chill of the

season in the course of His long journey which lay ahead. Once more He

afforded to us another chance of gazing undistracted at His Face alone.


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True it was the same Dharsan as in the early hours of the previous morning

But what a difference? Then it was welcome, now adieu. This self-same

Face which had beamed welcome then now was bidding adieu. The eyeswhich then danced with mirth now shone with serenity. If the smile then

was inscrutable sweet, it was now sadly bewitching. To the mind which

recalled at a stretch the anubhava of the whole day it was the deepest

agony. We knew not what to do. Over and over again we prostated before

Him beseeching Him not to regard it as a single days show but to make it

an eternal Anugraham(Favour). In answer to the adieus so sweetly

escaping from those eyes and those lips, what could we say except blurt

out like Yudhisthira of old indicating in

one breath our longing to meet Him again and our prayer to be

remembered by Him with love in the interim. Again and again in the words

of Tirumalisai Alvar we cried out at this moment of parting., ; !

,

. (Tiruchandaviruttam 101)

For unless He willed, where was the chance of our remembering anything

of what we had seen or felt that day? In all jumility we reminded Him that

our only gope and succour lay in His sankalpa. As we looked back upon

the Anubhava(enjoyment) of that day that upon the several sevas and

dharsanas which we had the great good fortune of obtaining from the time

we set our eyes on Him, upon the resplendent beauty of the Lord while

ascending the Hill, upon the incomparably noble grandeur with which He


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stood on the crest of the Hill noon-time fully disclosing His Anga

Prathyanga soushtavam (Elegance of each and every part of the body) His

shining Thiruvabharanas (ornaments) and His unique Sankha Chakra,upon the fulness of His Figure after He wore the Flowers, upon His

dazzling splendour as He stood on the topmost step facing the sinking sun

and challenging Him to match him in light or lustre, and upn the scene at

Tirumukkudal where He demonstrated the appropriateness of the epithet

as applied to Him, as our minds reflected upon these several

ecstasies vouchsafed to us during the preceding day they were convulsed

by the fear that all of them were going to slip away from our memory like

pleasant dreams and in the agony caused by that very idea we cried out in

the language of the Saint of Kurugur(Nammalvar)

(Tiruvaimozhi IX, viii 8) Whether He

had made up His mind to grant those boons to us or not remained to beseen : but there was nothing in His Face to show then that He had or had

not. He simply continued to smile at us and our mental state. At this stage

the Tiruchinnam sounded the note of impending departure. All was bustle

in a moment. The fortunate few who were to accompany Him consisting of

the Kainkaryaparas (temple servants) and the Veda-parayana svamis

became alert and took their stand at the various posts of service. The few

torches which were to light His way were lighted and were casting their

feeble light on the surroundings. The palaquin-bearers had approached the

Dandigai. Once again we peered at the divine rapturous Face which had

gladdened our vision for a whole day, and in reply to His bewitching smile


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of farewell we sobbed back our adieus, our Pallandus and our Jaya Vijayee

Bhavas. While we were casting our lingering eyes over that fair vision of

the sweet Face and taking a long long look at it, the Dandigai was suddenlylifted and the journey was begun. The torches having gone ahead, the

shawls and the surrounding darkness completely enshrouded our Lords

Face and Form. Already we heard the sweer rhythm of the Veda Mantras

their recitation having been begun behind. With the first touch of Divine

Burden on their shoulders the Sri Bharam Thangis partly with the thrill of

the touch and partly in order to bring warmth to their stiffened limbs started

on a run. Though a moment before we had felt that we had not really had

the last glance. And for that we ran up, and amidst the glittering rays of the

feeble torches tried hard to obtain a moment when the Face would be lit up

by them though for a fleeting moment. We had to run a good deal with our

bodies bent and eyes peering between the folds of the shawl. At last wewere rewarded when an erratic ray of light from a torch alighted on the

Face and succeeded in disclosing to our eager eyes the contour of that

divine Face with its shining Savaripagai, its serene and gracious look, its

sweet dimpled cheeks and chin, it bold outstanding nose and its superbly

smiling lips. And that was our very last glance and His very last

Kataksha(Gracious look) for that day. Not that we were satisfied with it. But

we were afraid that with Him there was no possibility of satisfaction and

fearing that an attempt to snatch another glance at Him would lure us away

possibly some furlongs we made up our reluctant minds and stopped,

leaving Him to pass on carrying everything of us with Him except our


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bodies. From where we stood we saw, as far as it was possible to see with

eyes from which was flowing a torrent of blinding tears, the Dandigai

passing by, and then the Vedaparayana goshti and then a few bhaktas whohad resolved to accompany Him. Soon the distance between us and the

procession increrased. The torch lights dwindled into mere specks of light;

the beat-beat of the familiar drum became muffled with distance, and the

vedic chanting too reached us only in soft whispers from afar. And yet we

were unable to stir or move. The eyes had got glued in that direction and

like Dasarathas the light thereof had not returned to them. Our bodies had

been deprived of feeling since the atmas(souls) inhabiting them had

accompanied Him on anuyatra (traveling together). Like the Gopis who

stood on the streets of Gokula staring with sightless eyes behind the car

diminishing in the distance and bearing their Sri Krishna away from them,

like those gopies who stood. : : like the dwellers of Ayodhya who felt it

impossible to draw back their minds or even their eyes from the direction

taken by Sri Rama. : :

like them though in a much smaller degree we

too felt at that moment. The only thing we were sure of at that moment was

that. He had taken away with Him all that was worth taking away in usin

the words of Mangai Mannan(Tirumangai Alvar). "

........." ( ) At

such a huge loss the eyes were weeping tears and those tears if analysed


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would have shown in their composition despair, regret and sorrow at having

been suddenly depprived of the greatest pleasure that has been given to

man here below to enjoy,--despair t the loss, regret at the inability to followHim, and sorrow at the thought that the vision was sure to melt away. All

our sorrows and our reflections had no effect upon His onward march.

Slowly the sounds had completely merged into the silent symphony of the

chill breeze that was freezing our very blood as we were standing there.

And in a quarter of an hour even the lights which kept on dancing in the

distance like glow-worms slowly disappeared from view. So that when our

senses returned to us after a while rousing us as from sleep, our eyes

encountered the vast expanse of sand on all sides enshrouded in

impenetrable darkness quite in keeping with the gloom which had set in our

minds. And these minds were quite softly and half unconsciously

whispering the lines of the Alwar Nayaki who after a full days pulavi withNayaka of her heart finds suddenly tht He has left her to sing the following

Gitam(Song):- ,

( )

." ( 24) -

the lord at seevaram

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