Orig ina l ly writ ten in Engl ish by G e o r g K h l e w i n d , The light of the

"I" was t rans la ted into G e r m a n by Kvelies Schmidt and published as

Licht und Freiheit: Ein Leitfaden fur die Meditation by Verlag Freies

Ge is tes leben , S tut tgar t , G e r m a n y , 2 0 0 4 .

T h e present edit ion is an edited version o f the or iginal Engl ish. It is

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I S B N 9 7 8 - 1 - 5 8 4 2 0 - 0 5 9 - 8

1 . At tent ion . 2 . M e d i t a t i o n . I. B a m f o r d , Chr is topher , 1 9 4 3 - II .

K h l e w i n d , G e o r g .

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Printed in the United States

C O N T E N T S

I n t r o d u c t i o n

by Christopher Bamford

F o r e w o r d

W h a t a r e w e l o o k i n g f o r

E x e r c i s e s

M e d i t a t i o n

A P e r s o n a l A f t e r w o r d

A M e d i t a t i o n

F u r t h e r R e a d i n g

I N T R O D U C T I O N

by Christopher Bamford

BORN G Y O R G Y S Z E K E L E Y IN 1 9 2 4 IN B U D A P E S T ,

Hungary , G e o r g Ki ih lewind w a s a medi ta t ion teacher, phi losopher , a n d writer, w h o assumed the nom-de-plume o f " K i i h l e w i n d " or " C o o l W i n d " (a n a m e taken f rom one used in youthful role-playing games) during the C o m m u n i s t years when , for o b v i o u s reasons , it w a s necessary to be discrete if one wished to write a b o u t spiritual mat ters .

T h e son o f a doctor , he w a s art ist ical ly and intellectu-ally gif ted. F r o m his earliest years , he played the p i a n o , later even c o n t e m p l a t i n g a career as a concer t pianist ; at the s a m e t ime , he w a s deeply and precoc ious ly fascinated by quest ions o f consc iousness . B o t h o f t h e s e a love o f music and a love o f c o n s c i o u s n e s s w o u l d a c c o m p a n y him for the rest o f his life.

At fifteen, his interests lay in Freudian p s y c h o a n a l y -sis, J u n g , a n d the h is tory o f re l igion a n d cu l ture . By seventeen, he w a s a s tudent o f K a r l Kerenyi , la ter Jung ' s c o l l a b o r a t o r a n d fr iend, ce lebra ted for his spiritual and p s y c h o l o g i c a l c o m m e n t a r i e s on the G r e e k Myster -ies a n d the G r e e k g o d s . Kerenyi inspired him to learn Lat in a n d G r e e k a n d to cons ider b e c o m i n g a c lass ical phi lo logis t .

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Topping of f this heady m i x , by eighteen, he had also already encountered R u d o l f Steiner's Anthroposophy and read deeply in it. Clearly, he was already on a spiritual path. H e had begun a p r o g r a m o f seeking to " e r a s e " f rom himself "a l l habits , tradit ions, and convent ional i ty . "

W h a t would have happened n e x t if the Second W o r l d War, w h i c h until then had spared H u n g a r y and Budapes t its w o r s t excesses , had n o t then reached its cruel , inhu-m a n , perhaps inevitable conc lus ion , we do not k n o w . But it did. And K u h l e w i n d returned from his c o n c e n -trat ion c a m p exper ience inwardly a " d e s e r t . " N o t h i n g could ever be exac t ly as it w a s be fore . T h e r e f o r e , when it c a m e t ime to chose w h a t he w o u l d study, he c h o s e with comple te f reedom someth ing to which he had n o pr ior re lat ionship: physical chemistry.

T h u s , professionally, he b e c a m e a physical chemist , teaching in a technical university for over thirty years and doing i m p o r t a n t research in the fields o f a b s o r p -t ion, cata lyt ic processes , surface chemistry, and chemi-cal engineering. H e w a s very successful , patenting m a n y invent ions and enjoying research fel lowships all over the wo r l d f r o m G e r m a n y and Italy to C h i n a .

But science w a s only his outer path . Inwardly, af ter the war, he cont inued to read extensively, even prodi-giously, in A n t h r o p o s o p h y . H e b e c a m e an " e x p e r t " in it. T h e n , one day, he exper ienced a shock ing revelat ion. Suddenly, everything he thought he k n e w seemed sterile and unproduct ive , even meaningless . He had amassed vast a m o u n t s o f spiritual " i n f o r m a t i o n , " but where it really c o u n t e d o n the inner path , the path o f spiritual prac t i ce , which should have made w h a t he " k n e w " a living rea l i tyhe had achieved nothing . " A t this p o i n t , " he wri tes :

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I near ly threw out the w h o l e o f Anthroposophy . T h e n I had a significant d r e a m . I remembered one o f Steiner 's b o o k s , The Philosophy of Freedom, which I k n e w I had n o t unders tood . I began to study this b o o k and all Steiner's o ther epis temologica l w o r k s . I w anted to give them a " l a s t c h a n c e . " Rigorously , w i t h o u t looking into the m o r e esoter ic w o r k s , I w a n t e d to understand the epis temologica l w o r k s by themselves a lone . After a b o u t half -a-year , I k n e w the direct ion I had to take . I s a w the errors I had made and the misunderstandings (felt as understandings) I had c o m m i t t e d . I had unders tood tha t the level o f real understanding is n o t the level used in o ther sciences but is, minimally, the level o f living, expe-r ienced th inking, i .e. , the process , n o t the thought . F r o m this m o m e n t on (about 1 9 5 8 ) I s lowly began on the path o f inner school ing

Nei ther Kuhlewind's dissat isfact ion nor his subse-quent real izat ion is surprising. Steiner 's so-cal led epis-temologica l w o r k s are ex t raordinar i ly difficult to grasp. W h i l e appear ing to be w o r k s o f phi losophy, they are in fact m o r e like m a n u a l s o f inner w o r k ; o r at least a report or personal a c c o u n t o f inner w o r k . In this sense, Steiner 's epis temologica l w o r k s f o r m the f o u n d a t i o n for all o f his a n t h r o p o s o p h i c a l spiritual research: they establ ish its principles or m e t h o d . T h i s is especially true o f The Philosophy of Freedom, the current title o f which , Intuitive Thinking as a Spiritual Path, reflects its " s p i r i t u a l " ra ther than its " p h i l o s o p h i c a l " aspects .

Such dis t inct ions , however , besides being obviously inadequate , are further confused by the highly individual nature o f Steiner 's w o r k s . As Steiner himself explic i t ly

stated, his a c c o u n t in The Philosophy of Freedom did not seek to be universal , but only to m a p out for himself h o w he, the individual R u d o l f Steiner, had walked that path . T h a t is, each person, as Kuhlewind did, must m a k e it his o w n .

W h a t makes The Philosophy of Freedom and the meditative path arising f rom it so radical (and so differ-ent f rom m a n y other paths) is its implicit starting point .

It starts where we are , with ordinary thinking con-sciousness and our given faculties o f sensing, feeling, and willing. O n this basis , it proceeds by a meditat ive, step-by-step process o f increasing phenomenologica l self-awareness to an intensification o f our cognit ive capac i -ties; that is, a m e t a m o r p h o s i s of consc iousness . T h e n , after a while , and if we persevere, the process may unfold further until it reaches a m o m e n t when we experience a n e w sense o f se l fthe true Self or " I a m . " Therewi th a n e w wor ld opens before us, the real wor ld : the world o f love.

And then, o f course , the real w o r k begins: to m a k e those " I a m " m o m e n t s c o n t i n u o u s and t rans format ive o f the w o r l d .

Start ing where we are , we begin with our ord inary th inking. W e not ice that we never exper ience th inking, but only finished t h o u g h t s , finished c o n c e p t s . W e only exper ience the past ; we d o n o t exper ience the c o m i n g into being o f thinking in the present . As Steiner puts it: " T h e r e are t w o things which are i n c o m p a t i b l e with each o ther : act ive product ion and ob jec t ive c o n t e m p l a -t i o n . " A b o u n d a r y or wall seems to separate us f rom exper ienc ing the " e m p t y " consc iousness f rom which by intuit ion thoughts and c o n c e p t s arise . Consc iousness for us is n o r m a l l y only finished t h o u g h t s , finished c o n c e p t s ,

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finished feelings, and finished percept ions . W e are not a w a r e o f their c o m i n g into being; and so we never truly unders tand them. As for will , it is complete ly outside ordinary consc iousness .

H e n c e , our pr imary exper ience is a lways o f the cont inual loss o f the present. W h a t we e x p e r i e n c e n o t only o f th inking, but a lso o f perceiving, feeling, and wil l ingis a lways falling into the past : into duality. T h e first task is to exper ience these in the present, in their process ; that is, in the processes o f cogni t ion , percep-t ion, feeling, a n d will ing.

D o i n g s o , we realize the full impor t of the reality that the wor ld is a lways the cognized , perceived, felt, and willed w o r l d : a non-dual wor ld that we s p l i t o r is split by our " e g o " or " m e " c o n s c i o u s n e s s i n t o subject -ob jec t , self-other, fr iend-enemy, h u m a n i t y - n a t u r e , and so o n .

T o walk this path then is to heal the divide, which is the egot ism tha t c o n d e m n s us to the a u t o m a t i c repeti-t ion o f the past . It is to learn to live in the present , that is, to love : to b e c o m e spontaneously , improvisator ia l ly creat ive o f w h a t is n o t yet, the future .

T o this path , and the teaching o f it, G e o r g Ki ihlewind dedicated his life. After his exper ience in 1 9 5 8 , as he puts it: " h e s lowly began the process o f inner s c h o o l i n g . " In 1 9 6 4 , he realized the i m p o r t a n c e o f c o n c e n t r a t i o n exer-cises. He began daily c o n c e n t r a t i o n exerc ises (on a pair o f ivory c h o p s t i c k s ) , which cont inued until he died in J a n u a r y 2 0 0 6 . H e began to w o r k with small groups o f friends and fel low spiritual seekers in 1 9 6 5 , and in 1 9 6 6 to lecture in Austr ia , Switzer land, and Germany . Very early, he w a s led to meditate on the L o g o s , " t h e W o r d " in the beginning, as hymned by J o h n the Evangelist in

the Prologue to his G o s p e l . F o r twenty years or s o , the first seventeen verses o f J o h n were his central medi ta -t ion. A n o t h e r key turning point c a m e in 1 9 6 9 , w h e n he met the Ital ian a n t h r o p o s o p h i s t and homo excersens, or "exerc i s ing h u m a n b e i n g , " M a s s i m o Scal igero . In 1 9 8 1 he ret ired, and from then on he dedicated himself e x c l u -sively to inner and phi losophica l w o r k .

In m o r e than twenty b o o k s , he laid out theoret ica l and pract ica l prerequis i tes for the inner path. A t the same t ime, he a lways w o r k e d intensively with smal l groups . At first, his w o r k seemed m o r e theoret ica l , m o r e phi losophica l , but over the years it b e c a m e c lear t o him tha t inner w o r k w a s someth ing one did, not someth ing to talk a b o u t . T h u s , he h o n e d and e x p e r i m e n t e d wi th a new, cognit ive m e t h o d o f medi ta t ion .

The Light of the "I," w h i c h is the last thing he w r o t e , is the ripe fruit o f m o r e than forty years o f c o n t i n u o u s prac t i ce . Summar iz ing and laying out the path o f medi-ta t ion that he himsel f w a l k e d , it is, in a certain sense, his tes tament . H e had spent m a n y years writ ing a b o o k a year. T h e b o o k s he w r o t e , which were the results o f his r e s e a r c h h i s m e d i t a t i o n s w i l l a lways be read (and meditated) for their p r o f o u n d spiritual and phi losophi -cal insights . But w h a t w a s really i m p o r t a n t for h im w a s that each one o f us do the w o r k for ourselves. N o t h -ing w a s m o r e i m p o r t a n t to h im than tha t h u m a n beings should start meditat ing.

T h e r e are , perhaps , different ways o f meditat ing. Cer ta in ly there are dif ferent w a y s o f ta lk ing a b o u t medi -ta t ion . T h e language we use to describe w h a t we do w h e n we medi ta te inevitably and implicit ly f rames our view o f medi ta t ion and our e x p e c t a t i o n s o f it in a special way. It gives it a c o l o r and feel: a taste o f its o w n .

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Kiihlewind's pa th , delineated in this b o o k , has its o w n flavors, which will n o t necessari ly or immediate ly seem to be to everyone's taste . O n e should not be overhasty in drawing such conc lus ions . I w o u l d plead that you give it a c h a n c e . T o o of ten , we are drawn to a path because the first f lavor we e n c o u n t e r is sympathet i c to us: it m a k e s us feel g o o d . L ikewise , when the first impression does not immediate ly d r a w us in, we tend to turn away. In both cases , we are seduced into o v e r l o o k i n g the deeper, m o r e fundamenta l f lavors. T h u s , all t o o frequently, it happens that , af ter a whi le , we exper ience d i sappointment . We cease pract ic ing that part icular path (and miss w h a t it has to of fer us) , a n d , later, try a n o t h e r path . But w h a t will we have missed? T h e point is a lways to keep going until the deeper f lavors , the r e w a r d s , b e c o m e evident.

Ki ihlewind's tone is ser ious. It is mat ter -o f - fac t . Every w o r d counts and each sentence , w h o s e simplicity is deceiving, must be thought t h r o u g h and pondered m a n y t imes be fore being medi ta ted . In o ther w o r d s , there are a s s u m p t i o n s . Ki ih lewind takes it for granted that we are a lready o n the path and tha t we recognize that a spiri-tual path is a pa th o f consc iousness : a cognit ive path .

And so , in this little b o o k , he proposes that we take up a p r o g r a m o f " c o n s c i o u s n e s s - t r a i n i n g . "

T h e r e f o r e , his tone is in junct ive: D O T H I S ! T o this end, he presents us with a series o f exerc ises ,

leading to medi ta t ions , which are a lso a k ind o f exer-cise. W h e n we wish to b e c o m e fit, s t rong, and physically energet ic , we exercise and discipline our bodies ; l ike-wise , if we w a n t o u r consc iousness to be clear, s t rong, and true to its n a t u r e a n d to the nature o f being i t se l fwe m u s t learn h o w to exerc ise it. T h e analogy is, however , only a p p r o x i m a t e . M i n d and body are o n e .

L3

As o n e , t h e y t h a t is, w e a r e consc iousness and only consc iousness . But consc iousness must here be under-s t o o d also to include " t h i n k i n g , " w h i c h , in turn, must be unders tood to include " f e e l i n g " and " w i l l i n g , " only a small and p r o b l e m a t i c subset o f w h i c h has to do with w h a t we ordinari ly call logic or reason .

Kuhlewind further assumes that we have learned f rom exper ience that , as beings o f consc iousness , we do n o t a lways funct ion healthi ly or efficiently. W e begin a program of physical exerc ise because we b e c o m e a w a r e o f the st i ffness, s luggishness, and plain unresponsiveness o f o u r bodies . But if we pay at tent ion to our c o n s c i o u s -ness, we will find it in worse shape . Instead o f clarity, directness , openness , c o m p a s s i o n , and love, we find a tissue o f h indrances : pre judices , d is t ract ions , precon-cept ions , ready-made , a l ready- thought thoughts a n d c o n c e p t s , reactive feelings (which are a lways essential ly s o m e kind o f self-feeling, and noth ing to do with the o ther or the w o r l d ) , a n d , at the level o f will , addic t ions , c o m p u l s i o n s a kind o f b lack hole .

All o f these, loosely speaking, const i tute our every-day self or " e g o , " w h o s e entire consc iousness is focused solely on defending and re inforc ing itself at the expense o f any true knowledge ei ther o f the wor ld or o f ourselves .

Surely we are m o r e and o ther than this . T h e path that Kuhlewind teaches through these exer-

cises and meditat ions is a path o f selflessness. It is the fruit o f h a r d - w o n experience and suffering, n o mat ter h o w simple he makes it seem. Above all , it is a path that seeks to awaken us to the true nature o f consciousness and o f our o w n true being: the " I a m , " light, and at tent ion.

H e invites us to take it.

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F O R E W O R D

T H I S BOOK IS NOT ONLY MY WORK . A fr iend, Jav ier L a n t e r o , t o o k the initiative o f inviting a group o f us t o join him over a n u m b e r of years on an annual retreat in Spain. T h e goal w a s to draft a short, easy-to-understand guide to inner work.

T h e first aspect o f the inner w o r k w a s to be the real-ization o f the Self or " I . "

Attent ion, which is the central h u m a n spiritual faculty, can meet or experience itself. In this experience , the witness, w h o is always present, awakens in self -aware-ness. T h i s exper ience is the exper ience of the Self or " I . " T h e second, related aspect o f our w o r k w a s to experi-ence the miraculous nature o f the Light , which , as " inner l ight , " is cal led attention.

Attent ion enters into various f o r m s , thoughts , images, and so on . All o f these are made up o f a t tent ion and all appear. T h e y light up in the same single at tent ion, which always exper iences itself in the form o f its contents . Ordinari ly , we do not experience this mirac le . We don't realize that we do n o t need another at tent ion in order to exper ience these contents .

I w o u l d be happy if readers could part ic ipate in the presence o f the light.

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T h e paragraphs are n u m b e r e d . C o n c e n t r a t e d th inking m a y understand them individually and in their sequence . At the same t ime, they are c o n t e n t for medi ta t ion . Each m a y be expanded or deepened by medi ta t ion .

Georg Kiihlewind

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(L'attention est la prire naturelle que nous faisons a la

vrit intrieure, afin qu'elle se dcouvre en nous.)

NICOLAS MALEBRANCHE, Conversations chrtiennes

Attent ion is the natura l prayer we m a k e to inner t ruth

in order that it m a y be revealed in us.

NICOLAS MALEBRANCHE, Christian Conversations

WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

1 . L o o k at the sky. D o you see it? L o o k at the c louds .

D o you see them?

2 . T h i n k : " T h e sky is b l u e . " T h i n k : " T h e c louds are

w h i t e . "

3 . As long as your gaze is fixed on the blue sky, you

c a n n o t see the c louds .

As long as your gaze is fixed on a c l o u d , you c a n n o t

see the sky. As long as you think, " T h e sky is b l u e , " you c a n n o t

think anything else. As long as you th ink , " T h e c louds are w h i t e , " you

c a n n o t th ink anything else.

4 . W h a t e v e r you think or see, your th inking or seeing is immersed in the form of your exper ience o f thinking or seeing.

5 . Your th inking or seeing a t tent ion has to w i t h d r a w

from one f o r m , and b e c o m e form-f ree , in order to take

up a n o t h e r f o r m : the next exper ience .

L9

6 . Dur ing the t ransi t ion f rom one exper ience to the n e x t , a t tent ion has to be form-free , or empty.

7. Try to observe h o w at tent ion becomes the image o f the sky, o r the c louds , this thought , this text .

8 . W h e n we try to observe h o w at tent ion b e c o m e s an o b j e c t , we exper ience that we c a n n o t find the form-free a t t e n t i o n but a lways find only formed states: the sky, the thoughts that we call the " o b j e c t s " o f a t tent ion .

9 . Nevertheless , form-free a t tent ion must be there . It must be avai lable to us. O t h e r w i s e , we could not exper i -ence different ob jec t s , t h o u g h t s , o r feelings one af ter the other.

10 . Attent ion seems to " m e d i a t e " w h a t we perceive. But what is to be mediated? If we imagine something " o b j e c -t i v e " that could be media ted , it is already in our at ten-t ion: it is an image that is m a d e o f a t tent ion .

1 I. W h a t e v e r we meet is actual ly a m e t a m o r p h o s i s o f our a t tent ion : a form o f our a t tent ion . Similarly, w h a t -ever enters our awareness is an image or an exper ience that has arisen f rom our a t tent ion . W i t h o u t a t tent ion , exper ience is imposs ib le . T h i s a t tent ion is our c o n s c i o u s -ness: our awareness or m i n d (spiri t ) .

12. All ob jec t s , a p p e a r a n c e s , and forms c o m e f r o m , and m a y lead b a c k t o , the form-free empty mind or consc iousness , w h o s e m e t a m o r p h o s e s they are .

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1 3 . T h e r e are things that seem to us to exist indepen-dently o f our a t tent ion . But w h a t exists for u s w h a t is there for u s m u s t appear to us , o therwise we w o u l d n o t k n o w a b o u t it. Th is appearance takes place in our a t tent ion .

14 . At tent ion is neither " o u t s i d e " n o r " i n s i d e . " W h a t could it be wi thin? W h a t could it be outside? Every " w h a t " e v e r y " s o m e t h i n g " i s itself a lready an a p p e a r a n c e .

Recapitulation

Attent ion can take only one form at a t ime. T h e form m a y be c o m p l e x , but it is always a unity. Dispersed at tent ion osci l lates , b o u n c e s , or jumps f rom one unity to another.

All things , thoughts , or p h e n o m e n a tha t we m e e t w h a t enters o u r consc iousness , w h a t we b e c o m e aware o f a r e a t tent ion , c o n f o r m e d to w h a t we meet .

We are " a s l e e p " n o t c o n s c i o u s i n the process o f a thing's appear ing . We w a k e up only w h e n it has already appeared . H e n c e , we mis takenly believe tha t it is inde-pendent o f our consc iousness or a t tent ion .

T h e f o r m s c h a n g e . F o r m - f r e e , e m p t y at tent ion must exist , but we d o n o t exper ience it in everyday life.

1 5 . Be tween our changing thoughts and changing percept ions there are holes in a w a r e n e s s , a l though we do not not ice t h e m . T h e y are holes precisely because we do n o t not ice t h e m .

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1 6 . In these holes , our awareness is empty, and therefore can enter into the n e x t f o r m . T h e processes , which gener-ate cogni t ion , understanding, thoughts and so o n , o c c u r in the holes . In these processes we are n o t c o n s c i o u s . We are asleep, and only b e c o m e a w a r e o f the f inished, formed products .

17. T h e holes are like a capac i ty to produce forms . T h e capac i ty to paint , for ins tance , is empty. It is form-free in c o m p a r i s o n to the images that or ig inate from it and c o m e a b o u t by it.

1 8 . C o m p a r e d to its products , the empty capac i ty is the greater reality. In the same way, when c o m p a r e d with its c o n t e n t s , the empty at tent ion or consc iousness is the m o r e powerful reality.

1 9 . T h e greater reality o f e m p t y at tent ion or c o n s c i o u s -ness is usually not exper ienced as such: we are not a w a r e o f it.

2 0 . T h e whole wor ld emerges in and through a w a r e -ness. W i t h o u t awareness , there is n o exper ience . W h e n o u r a t tent ion drifts away, o u r eyes do not see and o u r ears do not hear.

2 1 . T h e k n o w n wor ld is the c o n t e n t o f our a t tent ion . At tent ion , therefore , is the fundamenta l reality. And we do not exper ience it.

2 2 . N o r do we exper ience the forming o f the c o n c e p t s , percepts , and cogni t ions by which we k n o w the w o r l d .

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T h e y c o m e a b o u t through the supra-consc ious form-free a t tent ion .

2 3 . W e do not exper ience the greater part o f the w o r l d o f w h a t may be called reality. We have a false image o f the w o r l d . T h e first reason to try to realize form-free a t tent ion is because we w a n t to have a m o r e accurate image o f the wor ld .

2 4 . W h a t we call " I " or " m e " in everyday life is a feeling around the body and (if an organ is n o t funct ioning prop-erly) in the body. T h i s " 1 " or " m e " is the ob jec t o f our at tent ion; therefore we can k n o w a b o u t it. S o m e w h e r e , somehow, the true subject (of these observat ions) must be hidden within the observing at tent ion. T h e second reason w h y we seek the exper ience o f form-free atten-tion is thus because we want to find this hidden subject .

2 5 . T h e true subject o r Self c a n n o t be an o b j e c t , for this would presuppose or require a n o t h e r subject .

2 6 . If we could exper ience form-free a t tent ion , we would have the m e a n s o f at taining the true Self. W e would receive m o r e insights, ideas and understandings . But this can happen only in an empty mind or an empty state o f a t tent ion. T o b e c o m e more intuitive or improvisatory is thus the third reason why we seek the exper ience o f free at tent ion.

2 7 . As indicated, empty attention is w h a t makes possible the exper ienc ing o f anything at all . It is a lways present but hidden in us. It is a lways potential ly at o u r disposal .

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2 8 . W e need only find the way to exper ience it

consc iously .

Summary

We do not exper ience that through which we exper ience everything else. We k n o w m o r e or less w h a t we do when we tie our shoelaces . W e d o not k n o w h o w we th ink , remember , or speak. T h e r e f o r e we d o not k n o w h o w we e n c o u n t e r the w o r l d . W e do not k n o w w h a t reality, the w o r l d , o r h u m a n beings , are . It is not surprising then that , as individuals and as h u m a n beings, we exper ience serious problems in life.

Z e n Buddhists and early Chris t ians saw the s i tua-tion clearly. Both had the exper ience o f form-free at ten-tion as their goa l . Zen called this exper ience seeing the innate Buddha-nature ; Chr is t ians called it exper ienc ing the Light or Inner Light .

2 9 . Because o f the const i tu t ion o f our mind, we are surrounded by a wor ld o f o b j e c t s . Even our thoughts and inner images are ob jec t s o f an observing (perceiv-ing) a t tent ion .

3 0 . T o say that we do not exper ience empty a t tent ion is the s a m e as to say that we never b e c o m e a w a r e o f th ink-ing in the present, but only o f thoughts : that is, past th inking. T h i s is true for percept ions as well . If they are apprehended conceptual ly , they appear ready-made . W e d o n o t exper ience the process o f their appearing.

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3 1 . T h e empty or form-free m i n d , the source o f all our exper iences , c a n n o t be achieved by using thinking and c o n c e p t s ; which just cover up their o w n origin.

3 2 . T h e n o r m a l direction o f the f low o f a t tent ion is the fo l lowing: or iginat ing f rom an u n k n o w n , supra-consc ious source , a t tent ion is not exper ienced until it reaches an o b j e c t . T h i s is what b e c o m e s c o n s c i o u s .

3 3 . T h e r e f o r e , the empty mind must be found before the ob jec t . It must be found before form-free at tent ion turns into its o b j e c t - f o r m . As with every discovery, this one t o o could be sudden, not gradual : a flash, a glimpse of light.

3 4 . C o n c e n t r a t e d at tent ion is focused only on one ob jec t ; dispersed at tent ion jumps a r o u n d quickly and touches m a n y ob jec t s .

3 5 . T o w i t h d r a w at tent ion f rom its o b j e c t s , to cease to use concepts or to exper ience dif ferences , is possible only when at tent ion is c o n c e n t r a t e d , or bundled. If our at tent ion is split, we have no means o f wi thdrawing it, piece by piece, f rom separate ob jec t s .

3 6 . People t o d a y c a n n o t w i t h d r a w at tent ion from its o b j e c t s , because their a t tent ion is not sufficiently c o n c e n t r a t e d .

3 7 . O b j e c t s are forms with which at tent ion was briefly i d e n t i c a l w i t h o u t our exper ienc ing the identity. T h e y are lost m o m e n t s o f identity.

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3 8 . W h e n we lose the m o m e n t o f identity, the ob jec t s or finished forms b e c o m e exper iences o f the past. Because the past can be exper ienced only out o f the present , the present witness begins to appear . T h e appearance o f the present witness first o c c u r s , for the m o m e n t , in a b s t r a c -t ion , as a thought , or s imply in ref lect ion.

3 9 . Because the greatest reality, empty mind or c o n -sc iousness , is neither outs ide n o r inside, there is n o t h -ing to at ta in , noth ing to strive for, and no ob jec t to be achieved.

4 0 . O n l y one kind o f pract ice is n e e d e d t o intensify a t t e n t i o n f o r the simple reason that only c o n c e n t r a t e d a t tent ion , concent ra ted consc iousness or awareness can b e c o m e empty.

4 1 . T h e mind or awareness that exper iences is a lways empty. O n l y empty awareness or consc iousness can c h a n g e into f o r m s a n d it is a lways changing its f o r m s . W h a t we seek is present , as a gift , f rom the beginning.

4 2 . At a certain point o f c o n c e n t r a t i o n , we feel ourselves b e c o m i n g the ob jec t on which we are concent ra t ing . W e identify with its funct ion (which we have to k n o w ) . But then, o f course , it is n o longer an ob jec t . At first, we exper ience identity for only brief m o m e n t s , after which we fall again and again outside the ob jec t . But a f ter a while we are able to remain identified with the o b j e c t for longer periods. T h e n we n o longer " s e e " the image f rom outs ide , but enter into it.

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Recapitulation

We seem to be surrounded by a wor ld o f o b j e c t s , an object ive w o r l d , because the process o f the world 's appearing remains u n c o n s c i o u s s u p r a c o n s c i o u s . W e encounter only the finished results o f the process . W e w a k e up w h e n the wor ld has already appeared . If we could exper ience the world 's process o f appear ing , we would exper ience a different , m o r e c o m p l e t e reality. Phenomena b e c o m e reality if they are exper ienced as the m e t a m o r p h o s i s o f the empty m i n d . O t h e r w i s e they remain i l lusion, or maya.

4 3 . Any di f ferent iat ion occurs through an undifferenti-ated agent or power. T i m e is exper ienced as differenti-ated: that is, as earl ier or later.

4 4 . T h e form-free state o f the mind is beyond t ime . T i m e is the result o f the steady and repeated process o f falling out o f t imeless empt iness . Even meanings are t imeless. T h e mind's changing f rom meaning to m e a n i n g n o t exper ienc ing everything at once or s i m u l t a n e o u s l y generates t ime.

4 5 . W e do not experience the processes o f the mind; we experience only when they halt or s top . W h e r e the cont in-uous understanding c o m e s to a halt, a c o n c e p t arises.

4 6 . We cal I w h a t seems to be independen t o f our consc ious-ness " o u t s i d e . " W h a t is within our consc iousness , we call " i n s i d e . " But what is outside is also consc ious . If it were not , we would not k n o w a b o u t it. W e lack only aware -ness of the process through which it appears .

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4 7 . W e c a n n o t avoid consc iousness or light. T h e r e m a y be a w a y h o w e v e r d i f f i cu l tto avoid ob jec t s .

4 8 . T h e r e is n o w a y to avoid the " I , " regardless o f w h a t we exper ience . W h e t h e r we speak o f it o r do not speak o f it, we are either aware o f a wi tness , o r we are as leep. But to k n o w this , we must be a w a k e .

4 9 . W h e n we meet a sign or word for the first t ime , we must understand its meaning , which we usually call a " c o n c e p t . " Thereaf ter , w o r d s and texts substi tute for c o n c e p t s and ideas. C o n c e p t s and ideas t a k e the place o f unbroken understanding. T h e first t ime we meet them, c o n c e p t s are exper ienced . T h e y are unders tood . T h e r e -after they are merely used.

5 0 . T o exper ience unders tanding before something is unders tood is the exper ience o f empty a t tent ion . T h i s e m p t y a t tent ion is understanding itself. It enables us to unders tand.

5 1 . W h e n we understand someth ing , the p o w e r o f understanding, which in itself is form-free , takes on the form o f the unders tood .

5 2 . W h e n we see someth ing , the p o w e r o f seeing, which

in itself is form-free , b e c o m e s the form o f the seen.

5 3 . Attent ion is a lways se l f -experiencing. First , it e xpe -riences itself in the forms m a d e o f it; then it exper iences itself as f lowing into the f o r m s ; then it exper iences itself as form- f ree , empty awareness .

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5 4 . Can the wor ld and its appear ing be dist inguished? W h e r e does the wor ld appear?

Recapitulation

T h e r e can be n o p h e n o m e n a w i t h o u t formed at tent ion . T h e r e can be n o formed at tent ion w i t h o u t empty atten-t ion, which is l ight. T h e r e can be no at tent ion at al l , if it is n o t the a t tent ion o f s o m e o n e , the witness to the p h e n o m e n a , the one w h o is exper ienc ing them. W h e n -ever we speak o f something , there is a p h e n o m e n o n , an a t tent ion, and a witness , but usually we b e c o m e a w a r e only o f the p h e n o m e n o n . We forget the light behind it, by w h i c h we b e c o m e aware o f it; and we forget the " I " - b e i n g , w h o b e c o m e s aware o f it.

T h e last n a m e d t h e light and the " I " are usually not exper ienced . Free a t tent ion is the spiritual part o f the soul . Until we exper ience form-free a t tent ion , we are psychological beings ; but when we exper ience form-free a t tent ion , we are spiritual beings. F o r m - f r e e a t tent ion is tuned to unders tanding: that is, it is tuned to take up the form o f a meaning .

W h a t we look for is not a teaching. It is n o t w o r d s , concepts , theor ies , or i n f o r m a t i o n . It is n o t a worldview. It is an exper ience .

A f a c u l t y f r o m which all faculties ar i seleads us to the exper ience . It is the faculty to see the w h o l e p r o c e s s the p h e n o m e n o n , the a t tent ion and the w i t n e s s a s a unity.

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E X E R C I S E S

First, Some Advice

All exercises should be carried out with a " s o f t , " re laxed , playful wil l . T h e r e should be no pressure or compuls ion to achieve results . If one simply does the exerc ises , one will find that , af ter a few a t tempts , they will succeed.

T o access the sof t will , c o n c e n t r a t e your feeling-at-tent ion on parts o f the body. Try to feel them lightly: the top o f the h e a d , the forehead , the neck , the shoul-ders and shoulder blades , a long the spine , the chest , the s t o m a c h , and so on . Or, imagine a peaceful scene: blue sky, white c louds sailing slowly across it; or a pond with a slowly, quiet ly s w i m m i n g swan etc .

The Basic Exercise (suggested by Dr. Hartwig Volbebr)

O n c e we are re laxed , we are ready to d o the Basic Exer-cise, which should precede any other exerc ise . It should be done for a b o u t ten minutes a day, independently o f o ther exerc ises .

If we observe ourselves in daily life, we will not ice that very o f ten , indeed for the m o s t part , we react,

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which means there is n o pause or gap between " i n p u t " a n d " o u t p u t , " and that our ac t ions are causal ly c o n d i -t ioned. A u t o m a t i s m s , enervat ions , hab i t s , pre judices , preconce ived and habi tual opin ions act , not us. S o m e -thing happens to us and immediate ly we do someth ing , w i t h o u t reflection or cons idera t ion , as if we were act ing in a causal cha in .

T h e Basic Exerc i se consists in putt ing a short break between w h a t happened and our response to it, as if we said to ourselves: " J u s t one m o m e n t , p l e a s e . " T h i s instant ly cuts off the causal chain o f w h i c h we seem to be par t . It realizes a free moment.

A " f r e e m o m e n t " is a m o m e n t o f beginning o r creat ivi ty (for n o true creat ion has a reason or c a u s e ) . T h e pract ice of the " f r e e m o m e n t " can be developed to the point or m o m e n t when the m i n d is free of concepts. T h e n a n e w idea m a y appear.

W h e n it is w i t h o u t c o n c e p t s , the free m o m e n t is the first step to cognitive feeling.

Preparing the w a y to the intuitive moment in any sense percept ion , it helps us achieve the exper ience o f form-f ree or empty attention.

At first, a free m o m e n t m a y last a few seconds ; then it can g r o w shorter ; until it ends up needing n o t ime at all : l ike the flash o f unders tanding that does not happen in t ime.

In addit ion to our daily prac t i ce o f ten minutes , this exercise should be done before any o ther exerc ise . Every exercise should be preceded by a m o m e n t o f si lence and peace . I f we do it at a convenient t ime every day, the " f ree m o m e n t " m a y e x p a n d to include any o f our ac t ions ; and so we m a y avoid s o m e o f the incons iderate deeds or s i tuat ions into w h i c h we m a y otherwise slip.

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Walter B e n j a m i n , the G e r m a n phi losopher , w r o t e : " E v e r y m o m e n t is a small d o o r through which the Mess iah could enter . "

Concentration Exercise

5 5 . O u r a t tent ion can actual ly focus only on one theme at a t ime; but everyday life compels us to be attentive to m a n y t h e m e s s imultaneously, and so we are used to doing so . T h i s happens because we m o v e the b e a m o f our a t tent ion quickly f rom one theme to another , as if we were direct ing the beam o f a f lashlight.

5 6 . T o b a l a n c e this k ind of scat tered a t tent ion , we try to focus on one inner image o f a s imple , familiar, m a n -made thing like a papercl ip , a pin, a needle, a penci l , o r a ring etc .

5 7 . W h a t w e focus on should n o t be a t t ract ive . If it were at tract ive , ho ld ing its image w o u l d not c o m e a b o u t by our will . T h e o b j e c t o f our focus should be " m a n - m a d e , " because tha t m e a n s that we k n o w its func t ion , which is c losely c o n n e c t e d with its c o n c e p t . W e do n o t k n o w the funct ion or c o n c e p t o f natural things .

5 8 . T h e inner image is easily s u m m o n e d by the ques-t ion: " W h a t does it look l i k e ? " Or , better, addressing the thing f rom the beginning: " W h a t do you look l i k e ? "

59 . Addressing our " m a n - m a d e " o b j e c t with the ques-tion " W h a t do you l o o k l i k e ? " we achieve a w h o l e , a comple te image o f the ob jec t . But if we " c o n s t r u c t " it

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part by part , we see only the part that we are w o r k i n g on.

6 0 . In the same way, we can also s u m m o n " f a n t a s y i m a g e s " like a three-headed d r a g o n .

6 1 . T h i s exerc ise can be done with eyes either c losed or open . W e should do whichever is easier for us. If our eyes are open , however, we must avoid looking at anything. Also , as far as possible , we must try to avoid th inking during the exerc ise .

6 2 . W h e n we see the image o f the chosen ob jec t with our inner eyes, we try to hold the image for a few minutes . Since the image is volat i le , we speak to it. For e x a m p l e , we address it, saying inwardly : " S t a y , " " N o hurry , " " W e have t i m e . " W h a t we say is i rrelevant . O n l y addressing the o b j e c t is impor tant .

6 3 . W e must not address the o b j e c t superficially, but seriously, focused upon the image with intense at ten-t ion. After a few a t tempts , we will no longer need to use m a n y words or w h o l e sentences . Inwardly uttering a syl lable , like " H i " or " H m m , " or a whist le will suffice.

6 4 . T h e final form in which we address the o b j e c t is our gaze. W e use an addressing gaze to visualize the image . As long as we address it, it c a n n o t vanish.

6 5 . In propor t ion to its intensity, the gaze we address the image with protec ts the mind f rom dis tract ions . T h e gaze and its intensity indicate that that we are in c o n t r o l o f the o b j e c t , because we k n o w h o w to focus the gaze ,

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no m a t t e r w h a t happens in our imaginat ion . W e can d o whatever we w a n t with the ob jec t or its image .

Disturbances that can arise during the exercises:

The image does not appear. In this c a s e , d o n ' t try to " s e e " the image with your eyes; that is, on the inner side of the eyelids. P lace the image o f the thing on a tab le , o r s o m e w h e r e in f ront o f you (perhaps even behind y o u ) . If you still have difficulty visualizing it, m a k e up a little story a b o u t your o b j e c t . F o r e x a m p l e , you have lent it to a friend and he or she has just returned it. T h e m o m e n t you receive it, you will " s e e " it. O r you have lost the ob jec t ( somet imes this a lready leads to " s e e i n g " i t ) , and you find it in a corner o f the r o o m or a m o n g a heap o f other o b j e c t s . Finding it, you " s e e " it.

The image moves. D o n ' t w o r r y ; try to quiet it d o w n ; and, if it keeps moving , simply observe its m o v e m e n t s . O r begin the exerc ise again. W h a t e v e r happens to the image, observe it. If the exper ience moves t o w a r d identi-f i ca t ionthe o b j e c t c o m e s c loser ; it b e c o m e s b iggerlet it happen. D o n ' t force the visualization into duality, into seeing it f rom " o u t s i d e " t h a t happens a n y w a y in your mind.

The image disappears. In this case , ask it: " W h a t do you look l i k e ? " Address it.

Distractions, associations, other images enter. D o n ' t light them; try to ignore them; return to the theme.

" B a c k to the t h e m e " is a lways the m o t t o in any case .

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If the assoc ia t ions are t e n a c i o u s , invite them in, and observe them f rom the side, looking at them as they a p p e a r and c h a n g e ; and then, f rom t ime to t ime, try to return to the theme.

Even if there is no th inking w i t h o u t images and no imaging wi thout thinking, th inking and imaging are not c o m p a t i b l e . W h e n we visualize, we must try as far as possible to diminish th inking by intensifying the imagin-ing g a z e n e v e r by suppressing th inking.

If we pract ice simple visual izat ions lasting a few minutes , the exercise will c h a n g e spontaneously , and to a great ex tent individually, as the intensity of our at ten-t ion increases . W h a t we d o n e x t depends on the direc-t ion our at tent ion takes . W e can turn to the form or funct ion or idea of our chosen thing.

Playing with Attention

a) Imagine an image ; hold it for a short t ime (as descr ibed in 5 8 and 6 4 ) ; then let it fade away by ceas-ing to address it with the inner gaze . After letting assoc ia t ions enter, recall the image. R e p e a t these t w o m o v e m e n t s several t imes .

b) D o a ) , but try to observe w h a t your a t tent ion is doing, or w h a t is happening to it, during the opera -t ion. Eet the image vanish in a c l o u d o f mist and then let it emerge out o f the c l o u d .

c) R e p e a t the previous exerc ise , but n o w let the mist c o m e out o f the o b j e c t . T h e o b j e c t beginssay, a t

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one e n d t o e v a p o r a t e into mist , and then dissolves comple te ly in to the mist , w h i c h is n o w the m e t a m o r -phosed o b j e c t . N o w let the o b j e c t reappear as c o m i n g out o f the mist . If you have difficulty imagining the mist, imagine it to be co lored .

d) C h o o s e three ob jec ts . T h e y can be o f the same k ind, like three spoons o f different sizes, o r three differ-ent kinds o f ob jec ts . First , imagine the mist ; then let the first o b j e c t appear out o f it. H o l d it for it a short while; then let it return again into the mist . N o w let the second o b j e c t arise out of the mist ; hold it for a short whi le ; then let it b e c o m e mist again. D o the same with the third ob jec t .

e) Imagine the o b j e c t ; hold the image for a short whi le ; then (1) let the imagined o b j e c t b e c o m e m o r e and m o r e l ight-fi l led, as if g lowing; (2) let it dissolve into light; (3) let it reappear into its light-filled f o r m ; and finally ( 4 ) , let it return into the form tha t it had at the beginning o f the exerc ise . (Again, if you exper ience any difficulty, give the light a color . )

f) R e p e a t exerc ise d ) , but instead o f mist use l ight.

g) Imagine a blue cloudless sky with the radiant light-filled disc o f the sun. Let the sun e x p a n d into the w h o l e sky, so that the blue disappears . Let the o b j e c t appear f rom this light-filled sky and then disappear again. T h e n let the light w i t h d r a w into the disc o f the sun, so you have the initial image o f the blue sky and the sun again .

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6 6 . T h e form o f a thing can a w a k e n feelings. A straight line produces a different feeling than a wavy line; a tr ian-gle is different in feeling f rom a c irc le . Fo l low the lines o f a thing. N o words can descr ibe the feelings aroused . T h e s e cognit ive feelings may be supported by o t h e r quali t ies o f the thing we i m a g i n e l i k e color , br ightness , and tact i le quality. (Suggested by J a v i e r Lantero . )

6 7 . T h e form is determined by the funct ion . Imagine the thing in its funct ion . T h e funct ion is wil l - l ike, because its inventor fol lowed a will , that is, that the thing should funct ion just as it does . N o w o r d s can describe this will .

6 8 . T h e idea o f the thing is w h a t its inventor 's " s a w " with his or her " i n n e r e y e s . " I f o u r c o n c e n t r a t i o n is sufficiently intense, we will receive the idea of our thing: a wordless , image-less , pure "that." D o not try to reach it. O n l y strengthen your c o n c e n t r a t i o n . In your mind the idea is yours to d o with w h a t you will . Wi th its help , we could invent the thing anew.

6 9 . If we do this exercise regularly (a least once a d a y ) , our at tent ion will g r o w in intensity, even when we d o not pract ice ; we will b e c o m e m o r e concentra ted human beings. Up to a crit ical point in the exerc ise , we must strive for cont inui ty o f a t tent ion . O u r at tent ion must n o t w e a k e n or b e c o m e dis t rac ted . T h i s depends on the p o w e r o f address .

7 0 . O n c e we attain a certa in degree o f intensity, which is

impossible to define, our a t tent ion begins and cont inues

to g r o w by itself, w i t h o u t our care and ef for t . Attent ion

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is then directed healthily toward one thing. T o be one-

pointed is a t tent ion 's original and heal thy nature .

7 1 . We can n o w have t w o further exper iences . First , we can feel ourselves identified with the o b j e c t , with its funct ion or idea.

7 2 . S e c o n d , at the same t ime, or by slightly more g r o w t h , our a t tent ion can exper ience itself f lowing into the t h e m e , bringing a b o u t the t h e m e , but still in a form-free s tate .

7 3 . This experience we call the "I-am" experience. It is the universal heal ing medic ine . It is a feeling o f identity with an ever-deepening being that wills itself. It provides certainty, creativity, and solidity, and dissolves what c o m e s from egot i sm. F r o m it, the knowl e dge arises that nothing can happen to me (the one w h o is exper ienc-ing this ) : I am safe , complete ly independent o f c i r cum-stances , o p i n i o n s , successes or fai lures. I have found my spiritual r o o t s .

Explanations

a) At the beginning o f the exerc ise , we produce a high intensity o f a t tent ion , which usually decreases in the course o f t ime , depending on our p o w e r o f address . As it decl ines , the intensity begins to undulate . It rises and s inks , rises and sinks ( just as our w a k i n g consc iousness does when are falling as leep) . W h e n it does so , we k n o w i f we do not , by an act o f will , renew a t t e n t i o n t h a t in the next m o m e n t we will be

39

distracted, that is, someth ing will enter our a w a r e -ness w i t h o u t or against our wil l . By n o t renewing our a t tent ion , we consent to the dis t rac t ion .

b) W e k n o w the exper ience o f ident i f icat ion because we have occas iona l ly exper ienced it in the theatre , at a c o n c e r t , or viewing a beauti ful l andscape . In these cases , identif icat ion occurs because o f the at t ract ive-ness o f w h a t we are exper ienc ing . F o r a f rac t ion o f a s e c o n d , a t tent ion b e c o m e s t h a t is, we b e c o m e identical with anything that enters our awareness : percept ions , thoughts , images e tc . In the exerc ise , the identity is p r o l o n g e d . H e n c e it can be exper i -enced . In the exerc ise , identi f icat ion usually c o m e s a b o u t in the f low of a t tent ion t o w a r d the o b j e c t . As the intensity o f a t tent ion increases , identi f icat ion changes in qual i ty f r o m th ink ing or imagining: first, into fee l ing-at tent ion; then into wi l l ing-at tent ion , w h i c h each t ime is " f u r t h e r a w a y " f r o m the " o b j e c t -p i c t u r e " we started wi th , and c loser to its supra -con-sc ious or igin.

c) T h e " I - a m " exper ience m a k e s it c lear that a t tent ion is the possibil i ty o f the real self, w h i c h is not the " m e - f e e l i n g " that we call " m e " in everyday life. T h e " I - a m " exper ience is the exper ience o f the empty, not -yet f o r m e d at tent ion , as it itself b e c o m e s a w a r e . It is the first spiritual exper ience . It is a non-dual is t ic exper ience , just as identif icat ion i sas if a b e a m o f w a t e r b e c a m e i l luminated f rom within .

4 0

Self-forgetting

We can forget ourselves in an e m o t i o n a n d do something we repent later. "We can forget ourselves in assoc ia t ions , in daydreaming , in fantas ies . Such self - forgett ing lowers our wakefulness and lets consc iousness slip b e l o w its everyday level.

We can forget ourselves when we d o the c o n c e n t r a -tion exerc ise , for e x a m p l e when we enter or b e c o m e the image. Because the image is made by us, and is made o f our a t tent ion , the " m e " is forgotten in this kind o f self-forgett ing and the self itself b e c o m e s act ive . Forget t ing the " m e " provides the opportuni ty to w a k e up as an " I - a m . "

Two Special Exercises

a. D o a c o n c e n t r a t i o n exercise ( 5 5 - 6 5 ) . Turn your first gaze after finishing it o n t o a tree, a bunch o f f low-ers, or a h u m a n face . Observe your exper ience in the first seconds , or f ract ion o f a second, before thinking begins to w o r k . O b j e c t s then look dif ferent than they usually d o .

b. H a v i n g d o n e a c o n c e n t r a t i o n e x e r c i s e b e i n g con-c e n t r a t e d w e look at something in the r o o m , like a simple o b j e c t s o m e distance away (such as a l a m p , cushion , vase , or c u p , e tc . ) . W e begin the l o o k with the feeling or thought : " t h a t t h e r e . " If our seeing is c o n c e n t r a t e d , the exper ience o f the ob jec t m a y change into " th i s h e r e . " T h e o b j e c t appears to c o m e closer, o r we b e c o m e identical with it.

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Becoming Vertical (Upright)

T o jo in the h u m a n c o m m u n i t y and meet the w o r l d , a child b e c o m e s vertical (upright) in a h u m a n environ-ment . Were we to live horizontal ly , we w o u l d be part o f the wor l d w i t h o u t witnessing it.

Before it exper iences itself, a t tent ion is supracon-scious. Symbolical ly , we could imagine at tent ion to orig-inate f r o m a b o v e , and f low vertically d o w n w a r d . T h e " m e , " on the o ther hand , can direct its a t tent ion only horizontal ly , i .e. , toward o b j e c t s . T h u s , ordinary, every-day a t tent ion loses its original verticality. It b e c o m e s " b r o k e n " and hor izonta l . " W e look a r o u n d . " Al though we a lways have the vert ical direct ion o f at tent ion at our disposal , we remain u n a w a r e o f it be fore it turns into o b j e c t s , and so c a n n o t use it with our everyday ( " m e " ) will to receive new thoughts or ideas.

In the intervals or pauses between the changing ob jec t s o f a t tent ion , our " m e " - f e e l i n g is t o u c h e d . At tent ion osci l lates between the o b j e c t and the " m e . " But if a t ten-t ion b e c o m e s one-pointed and u n m o v i n g (in c o n c e n t r a -t ion and m e d i t a t i o n ) , forgett ing the " m e , " it turns b a c k to the vert ical . It b e c o m e s our spiritual spine. B e c o m i n g vertical and intense, a t tent ion can detach itself f rom the o b j e c t o r t h e m e . It can b e c o m e empty, pure light, self-c o n s c i o u s , a Self, c o n n e c t e d with its source . T h e N e w T e s t a m e n t calls it the individualized Holy Spirit , sent by the L o r d .

M e d i t a t i o n uses vertical a t tent ion . It lifts awareness into the vert ical . It m a k e s it a w a r e o f meditat ive contents wi thout duality, in witnessed identity, and m a k e s the t h e m e t ransparent to its higher meaning .

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Results of Concentration and Summary

7 4 . In the exercises we try to retrieve the original func-tioning of at tent ion, such as is found in small children and in archaic cultures. Such attention arises from a supracon-scious source and is directed toward an ob jec t . T h e direct-edness forms and strengthens the spine o f our awareness .

7 5 . As we b e c o m e m o r e exper ienced in the exerc ise , we can w o r k with dis tract ions in a different way. Instead o f trying to avoid them, we can try to see them as unwanted m e t a m o r p h o s e s o f our a t tent ion . If we succeed in doing s o , we can w i t h d r a w the stream o f at tent ion f rom them and turn it b a c k to the theme.

7 6 . T h e exper ience o f identity with the t h e m e enables us to realize the bridgenamely, the a t tent ion that c o n n e c t s sub ject and o b j e c t , which usually we do n o t not ice . Exper ienc ing that the theme is m a d e o f a t tent ion is the exper ience o f identity. Sub jec t a n d o b j e c t b e c o m e o n e . Later, we can exper ience this bridge in any c o n t e n t of our consc iousness .

7 7 . Leaving behind or erasing the theme does n o t result in the a t t a i n m e n t o f empty a t tent ion . E m p t y at tent ion is at tained before the theme, before the s tream o f form-free a t tent ion turns into the theme. It brings it a b o u t .

7 8 . T h e witnessing Self can use this form-free a t tent ion as the receptive a t tent ion for new intui t ions .

7 9 . If the theme is not a " m a n - m a d e " ob jec t , but a symbol that stands for a meaning, which cannot be communicated

4 5

as informat ion, the exercise changes somewhat and is called meditation. In concentrat ion , the " m e a n i n g " o f the ob jec t is k n o w n . In meditat ion, we are looking for " m e a n i n g s " beyond the informat ional meaning we understand.

4 4

I

we begin to meditate, we achieve the only really

free deed poss ible in this h u m a n l i f e . . . .

W h e n we m e d i t a t e , we are c o m p l e t e l y free .

RUDOLF STEINER, Lecture on August 8, 1922

M E D I T A T I O N

8 0 . I n f o r m a t i o n c a n be unders tood w i t h o u t the person receiving it having to create n e w c o n c e p t s . But there are also exper iences , w h i c h resist being c o m m u n i c a t e d as i n f o r m a t i o n . T h e y are themes for medi ta t ion .

8 1 . Such experiences (that resist being communica ted as information) can be put into forms that lead the mind that is concentrated on them to the experience f rom which they originate.

8 2 . In receiving or creating informat ion and in forma-tional tex ts , th inking moves discontinuously f rom k n o w n concept to k n o w n concept . T h e m o v e m e n t is exhausted every t ime it reaches a k n o w n concept and stops there. Everyday at tent ion has to move in order to be sustained.

8 3 . W e do n o t seek thinking, but not - th ink ing . T h a t is to say, we seek to return to the pure p o w e r o f empty thinking a t tent ion . M e d i t a t i o n , even w h e n it is directed at tent ion o n t o a t h e m e , is not - th inking .

8 4 . If we n o t - t h i n k , our thinking power is unmoving, quiet , still. It w o r k s continuously, which is the same as staying still.

4 ~

8 5 . Being really attentive does not mean thinking, or feeling, or even b e c o m i n g the receptive will . Attent ion remains unmoving on the t h e m e . It avoids c o n c e p t s , t h o u g h t s , and anything a l ready- formed. It remains fluid th inking that is form-free and concept -bui ld ing .

8 6 . T h i s a t tent ion is the light that penetrates every-t h i n g b e c a u s e everything is made o f this light.

8 7 . M e d i t a t i o n themes are the true ob jec t s o f a t tent ion : u n t h i n k a b l e , and therefore t ransmiss ible and transpar-ent to medi ta t ion . T h e self can turn the empty, as-yet-u nf ormed at tent ion o n t o them.

8 8 . If a t tent ion is n o t sufficiently c o n c e n t r a t e d , the mind falls back into thinking. All kinds o f medi tat ions imply tra ining and increased a t tent ion .

Text Meditation Returning to Signless, Wordless Meaning

8 9 . Every sentence, and every sequence o f sentences, orig-inates from a c o r e a "that"which is beyond language, beyond signs.

9 0 . T h i s c o r e , which is the m e a n i n g , enables the mind to find the right words and g r a m m a t i c a l forms , which are the signs. T h e meaning is b e y o n d language. It is w h a t can be translated from one language into another . T o create or understand an i n f o r m a t i o n a l sentence , we m u s t f o r a m o m e n t , a f lashat ta in the signless, w o r d -less m e a n i n g .

4 S

9 1 . Meditative sentences contain a hidden meaning behind the obvious , translatable, informat ional meaning. In medi ta t ion , we try to reach this hidden meaning by c o n c e n t r a t i n g the u n m o v i n g at tent ion on the i n f o r m a -tional meaning .

9 2 . As a t tent ion, when it is concentra ted , can have only one theme, the first difficulty in meditat ing is that a sentence is const i tuted of more words than o n e , and that the in format iona l meaning is already hidden in the words making up the sentence.

9 3 . T h e r e f o r e we try to reduce the sentence to its c o r e , to its origin, which preceded the w o r d s . I f a t tent ion is sufficiently intense, we can do it immediate ly ; o r we can do it by condens ing the sentence in to one o f its w o r d s ; or even in to o n e w o r d not taken f r o m the sentence .

9 4 . W e c h o o s e a w o r d s a y , the one that seems to be the m o s t i m p o r t a n t or that seems m o s t sympathet i c to u s a n d bring the meaning o f the o ther w o r d s one after the o ther in to our chosen w o r d , which will then repre-sent the w h o l e sentence .

9 5 . T h e n w e have only one sign, one w o r d , upon which we can c o n c e n t r a t e our unmoving , not - th ink ing atten-t ion. D e p e n d i n g o n the p o w e r o f our a t tent ion , the last sign (word) m a y disappear, so that only pure , signless, wordless m e a n i n g remains .

9 6 . T h e signless, wordless meaning may then b e c o m e t ransparent and a l low a n e w meaning to shine for th , one that is express ib le only by a meditat ive sentence

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or image . T h e appear ing o f a n e w d e e p e r or h i g h e r meaning is an exper ience . T h e r e f o r e , it is indubitable and cer ta in .

9 7 . W h e n we repeat a medi ta t ion on the same theme, we e x p e r i e n c e w h e n success fu la s e c o n d , deeper o r higher, meaning , which does not c o n t r a d i c t our first exper ience , but integrates or deepens it. Every medita-t ion on a given theme provides a n e w meaning , because every exper ience changes us and, as our consc iousness c h a n g e s , the t h e m e reveals a n e w essence.

Technical Advice and Examples

It is best to begin our medi ta t ion by " p o n d e r i n g " the tex t or image: chewing it over with ever-deepening thinking. In a concentra ted state , we think through the words and the structure o f the sentence . T h e funct ion o f this concent ra ted reflection is to e x h a u s t thinking. W h e n our at tent ion is focused in medi ta t ion , we should not be thinking. But thinking can help us enter m e d i t a t i o n a s , for ins tance , when something n e w arises in the light o f th inking.

Let us cons ider a s tandard Z e n Buddhist medi ta t ion , " T h i s M i n d is B u d d h a , " as an e x a m p l e o f a meditat ion sentence .

First , we ponder a b o u t the w o r d " T h i s . " Ordinar i ly we use the w o r d " t h i s " to point to some-

thing c lose to us: c loser than " t h a t . " But whatever we point to can only be cal led " t h a t . " T h e r e is only one thing, which c a n n o t be " t h a t , " and only " t h i s , " namely : w h a t we are doing just now. A m o m e n t later: " t h i s " is

SO

already " t h a t . " I f we can point at it, it is " t h a t . " " T h i s , " if we take it seriously, is therefore not a demonstra t ive p r o n o u n . It does n o t point . W h a t I do now, and where n o w is really exper ienced in everyday life, is identical with the " I " w h i c h never can be " t h a t . "

T e x t medi ta t ion can thus be described in three steps:

1.) Ponder ing.

2 . ) R e d u c t i o n ( into one w o r d or s y m b o l ) .

3 . ) C o n c e n t r a t i o n on the one symbol or the m e a n i n g the real medi ta t ion .

T h e r e are other ways o f " r e d u c i n g " a sentence: for instance, by " g l u i n g " together all the words of the sentence so that they m a k e a unity.

Here is an e x a m p l e of reduct ion. W e shall reduce " T h i s M i n d is B u d d h a " to a single w o r d . W e shall c h o o s e as our remaining w o r d " T h i s " b u t any w o r d m a y be chosen . T h e n , first, we put the meaning o f " M i n d " into " T h i s " " T h i s ( M i n d ) is Buddha." T h e n we condense the meaning o f " I s " into " T h i s " " T h i s ( M i n d is) Buddha." T h e last step is to a l low whatever meaning we give to the w o r d " B u d d h a " into " T h i s " " T h i s ( M i n d is B u d d h a ) . " O n this meaning-f i l led " T h i s " (which repre-sents the w h o l e sentence) , we n o w c o n c e n t r a t e .

W e can c o n n e c t medi ta t ion with the c o n c e n t r a t i o n exercise by c h o o s i n g an appropr ia te t h e m e . T h i s will still be a " m a n - m a d e " thing, but one that has a symbol ic meaning as wel l , like " k e y , " " c u p " or " c h a l i c e , " " d o o r , " " s t r i n g " and so on .

Beginning with c o n c e n t r a t i o n on the o b j e c t , we reach the point o f identity and the " I - a m " - e x p e r i e n c e . T h e n ,

5 1

we consider the ob jec t as a s y m b o l , and meditate on it in the s a m e w a y tha t we medi ta te o n a t ex t : we take the i n f o r m a t i o n a l ( t ranslatable) meaning as a symbol for the hidden meaning .

In m e d i t a t i o n , the same t r a n s f o r m a t i o n s m a y occur as in the c o n c e n t r a t i o n exerc ise : the qual i ty o f a t tent ion first changes f rom thinking or represent ing into feeling, and then into receptive will ing.

W h e n we begin our meditat ive prac t i ce , we w o r k with short , one-sentence tex ts . Later , w e can turn to longer t ex t s , so long as we can cons ider them as a unity or single s ta tement : that is, as a single, if c o m p l e x , meaning . In the case o f a series of sentences , we can do the fo l low-ing: t a k e the first sentence as the m e d i t a t i o n - t h e m e , and read or th ink the others af ter having meditated the first; then take the second sentence as the t h e m e , and so on . O r af ter the first sentence , t a k e the first and the second together as the theme for medi ta t ion , and so on.

9 8 . W h e n we exper ience a n e w m e a n i n g in our medi ta -t ion , w e realize that this n e w m e a n i n g w a s present f rom the beginning, f r o m eternity, and tha t we needed only to open to it.

9 9 . W h e n our a t tent ion grows b e y o n d the point o f iden-tity wi th w h a t w a s previously its o b j e c t t h a t is, with w h a t w a s the pretext to arouse a n d keep it f l o w i n g a n d b e y o n d the exper ience o f " I - a m , " it changes f r o m thinking/imagining into feeling a t tent ion .

1 0 0 . If we use conceptua l th inking , which is r o b b e d o f

its r o o t in feeling, then feeling loses its task and turns

into anxiety .

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1 0 1 . T h i s anx ie ty disappears with the " I - a m " - e x p e r i -ence. T h e exper ience o f identity goes over into the rea lm o f feeling and goes deeper and deeper.

Symbolic Image Meditation

Introduction

1 0 2 . Intuitive th inking usually turns into images pro-duced by the intuitive process . So sentence-medi ta t ion consists pr imari ly in providing images, which we t rans-late into w o r d s .

1 0 3 . Images are made of and irradiate feelings, because their e lements d o the same. A straight line irradiates a different feeling than a wavy line; a tr iangle feels differ-ent f r o m a c irc le . T h e same holds true for co lors and spatial f o r m s .

1 0 4 . T h e original feeling-perception that small children

and archaic people possess does not need sense organs,

and always happens directly: in identity, without dualism.

1 0 5 . F o r the wor ld to reach consc iousness in p o r t i o n s , the senses split the feelable wor ld into sense-qual i t ies .

1 0 6 . Never the less , if conceptua l thinking did not inter-vene, a sense-specif ic feeling would penetra te to the mind through the senses.

1 0 7 . T o experience the feeling that irradiates from images, we have to get rid of concepts . Concepts immediately

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bury what we perceive through the senses. Concepts kill feeling.

1 0 8 . W h e n we see an image (or th ing) , there is a m o m e n t a r y flash o f feeling, which concepts then ext in-guish. Feeling is non-dual i s t i c ; c o n c e p t u a l percept ion is dual ist ic .

1 0 9 . In imagining, we start f rom a conceptua l sketch o f the image . T h e n we try to o v e r c o m e it, so as to advance to the feeling exper ience . Success depends on the inten-sity o f a t tent ion . Attent ion can c h a n g e into feeling s imultaneously with the d isappearance o f the c o n c e p -tual s t ructure .

Example of Image Meditation

In this exampl e , the image is a dynamic one : a process. We imagine a sandy desert: sunny, hot , and parched. O n one spot , a rose plant begins to appear : first, the stem, the leaves, a bud, and then a radiant red rose-flower.

110 . Using the inner q u e s t i o n , " W h a t do you l o o k l i k e ? " we try to " s e e " the desert as descr ibed a b o v e . We do n o t try to put the image together o u t o f its parts .

1 1 1 . Wi th the same inner gesture , we let the rosebush g r o w o u t o f the dry sand and unfold until the f lower appears . As far as possible , we do n o t help the process o f imagining such unreal or impossible s i tuat ions by picturing or thinking " r e a l i s t i c " c i r c u m s t a n c e s , such as hidden w a t e r or a well under the desert .

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1 1 2 . W e hold the i m a g e p e r h a p s by speaking to it as in the c o n c e n t r a t i o n exerc ise . W e c o n c e n t r a t e on it with a quest ioning inner gesture: " W h a t are you s a y i n g ? " " W h a t ' s your m e a n i n g ? " R a t h e r than using w o r d s , the quest ioning gesture should take place in feeling.

1 1 3 . W h e n c o n c e n t r a t i o n is sufficiently intense, the image will a rouse a new, never-before-exper ienced feel-ing that is the " a n s w e r " to our quest ion , " W h a t are you s a y i n g ? "

1 1 4 . T h e n e w feeling m a y o c c u r s imultaneously with the image b e c o m i n g t ransparent or dissolving; and it may be preceded by images or thoughts that are simi-lar to the image o n which we are meditat ing; or it may be preceded by s i tuat ions that possess similarly unreal features.

1 1 5 . Because it is unreal , it is difficult to let the rose in the desert grow. If, however, we succeed in creat ing a vivid image o f the rose , the feeling corresponding to it will arise. W e will have created a wonder , a mirac le .

1 1 6 . T h e m o r e we succeed in simply " s e e i n g , " instead o f circl ing a r o u n d w h a t has occurred in our th inking, the s tronger will be the feeling that arises. As far as possible , we do not try to put the feeling into w o r d s .

1 1 7 . If we do n o t succeed in imagining the plant in the desert, then we try to feel the impossibility, the obstac le .

1 1 8 . T h e " m e a n i n g " o f the image is in the feeling. Apart

f rom the i m a g e , the feeling has n o media t ion .

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1 1 9 . W e can exper ience this fee l ing-meaning only if we have built the bridge: the f low o f consc ious atten-t ion imprinted by the theme. In o ther w o r d s , only if we b e c o m e identified with the image .

1 2 0 . Since the image is the direct sign o f the meaning (which is n o t c o n v e n t i o n a l , as letters are for sounds) , the mind's (or consc iousness ' s ) identity with the image is the same as its identity wi th the meaning . T h e r e f o r e we " u n d e r s t a n d " in feeling.

Static Image Examples for Beginning

Image Meditation

A circle w i t h o u t , then with , a center point . A tr iangle w i t h o u t , then with , a center point . B u d d h a holding and showing a f lower in his left h a n d . A garden , enclosed by a wal l , wi th a c losed door.

T h e m e s for image-medi ta t ions m a y be found in the Bible . In the N e w Tes tament , for ins tance , all the p a r a -bles are images . T h e central parable o f the sower can be medi ta ted to realize w h a t the " K i n g d o m " means . Fairy tales , t o o , consis t o f images suitable for medi ta t ion . H a v i n g read the parables or the tales , we can c h o o s e or m a k e an image that represents the w h o l e t ex t and medi ta te on it. F o r e x a m p l e , we m a y imagine the sower in the field.

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Perceptual Meditation

Introduction

1 2 1 . W e do a c o n c e n t r a t i o n exerc ise . W h e n we are finished, we cas t our first g lance a t a thing, perhaps a flower, or a plant or a s tone . T h e n , for a m o m e n t , we can see that the wor ld looks different than it usually does .

1 2 2 . W e can b e c o m e consc ious when we c o n t e m p l a t e a h u m a n face wi th a hol is t ic , feeling gaze . O n the basis o f this kind o f hol is t ic gaze, we can recognize a person or recall their face as an inner image wi thout k n o w i n g any o f their individual features : for ins tance , w h a t their nose looks like.

1 2 3 . W e can b e c o m e consc ious o f h o w e y e - c o n t a c t differs f rom any o ther way o f looking, especial ly f rom the searching gaze o f d o c t o r or scientist .

1 2 4 . W e look at a tree, a s tone or a plant . W e try to b e c o m e a w a r e tha t there are usually t w o c o m p o n e n t s present: (1) a c o n c e p t or concept - l ike thought and (2) sense-qual i t ies , w h i c h somet imes have general n a m e s (like c o l o r s ) , and somet imes are nameless (like shades o f c o l o r or the irregular forms o f leaves or s tones ) .

1 2 5 . W h e n l o o k i n g at (or contempla t ing) a w o r k o f art or a beautiful landscape , we can exper ience a phase o f pure dedicat ion when the process o f m a k i n g a c o n c e p -tual inventory c o m e s to a comple te s top .

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1 2 6 . W e can observe how, in everyday percept ion , at ten-tion osci l lates wi th t remendous speed between the states o f dedicat ion and c o n c e p t u a l i z a t i o n t h a t is, " n a m i n g " w h a t is perceived.

1 2 7 . In the first m o m e n t s o f percept ion fo l lowing a c o n c e n t r a t i o n exerc ise , conceptua l th inking is still quiet and u n m o v i n g , and the wor ld l o o k s different than it usually does .

1 2 8 . Usually, we perceive conceptual ly . It is difficult, if not imposs ib le , to exper ience pure percept ion , devoid o f c o n c e p t s .

1 2 9 . As long as a t tent ion osci l lates between dedica-t ion and th inking, we c a n n o t exper ience the " b r i d g e " o f a t tent ion that s imultaneously c o n n e c t s and dissolves sub ject and o b j e c t : the unmoving a t tent ion .

1 3 0 . W h e n conceptua l thinking stops or pauses , the feeling behind thinking regains its power . W e k n o w that if we are able to keep thinking sti l led, feeling percept ion will be react ivated.

1 3 1 . Because it uses concepts , everyday perception attains only the informat ional meaning o f w h a t it perceives. We are happy if we simply k n o w w h a t it is. But even to attain this in format ion takes a m o m e n t o f dedicat ion; otherwise we w o u l d perceive nothing. W h e n at tent ion is busy with other themes , the senses will not be act ive.

1 3 2 . T h e need for dedicat ion, w h i c h is unnecessary

when we imagine an image, or iginates in the fact that in

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perception there is something given, which is not of our doing, not even in the sense that the content of thinking is our choice. We can think anything we want to , even if the process of thinking is supraconscious; but we cannot per-ceive in the same way. W h a t we perceive has " t o be there . "

1 3 3 . A natural thing can be seen as the activity or " w o r k "

of Nature . F o r m e d by a power, it irradiates this p o w e r by

its form (and all its qualit ies) .

1 3 4 . In everyday perception we receive a compl ica ted mixture of Nature ' s " w o r k " and our " w o r k , " which includes both conceptual izat ion and subjective feelings of sympathy and antipathy.

Exercises

1 3 5 . T h e a im o f the prepara tory exerc ise (for percep-tual medi ta t ion) is to separate the c o m p o n e n t s o f ordi-nary percept ion. Using receptive a t tent ion , we try to get the p o w e r i rradiated by natural ob jec t s in the purest possible f o r m . W e try to a l low our receptive a t tent ion to be imprinted by the p o w e r that the ob jec t s i rradiate .

1 3 6 . As the sub jec t o f the exercise we t a k e a pebble , one for w h i c h w e feel n o special sympathy or ant ipa-thy. W e look at it as a w h o l e , as far as possible w i t h o u t concepts , for a b o u t a half a minute . T h e n we c lose our eyes or put aside the pebble , and try to imagine w h a t we have s e e n i f necessary, using the quest ion " W h a t do you look l i k e ? " T h e n we try to keep the image again for a b o u t a hal f a m i n u t e .

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1 3 7 . W e repeat this exercise ( 1 3 6 ) several t imes, suc-ces-sively shortening the t ime we take to look at it initially, so that in the end we just b e c o m e momentar i ly aware o f the s tone . If we are sufficiently concent ra ted , cont rary to w h a t we expect , our imagining will be the most vivid after the shortest look , for the same reason as ment ioned in # 1 2 7 .

1 3 8 . Exerc i ses 1 3 6 and 1 3 7 should be done for rela-tively long per iods : once or twice a day for at least three w e e k s . F o l l o w i n g this , we try to do exerc ise 1 3 9 .

1 3 9 . W e l o o k at our pebble twice , dif ferently each t ime. First, we look at it with a detai led, searching, analyt ic gaze: we try to exper ience the pebble 's individual detai ls . T h i s " s c i e n t i f i c " gaze is a c c o m p a n i e d by the feeling that a s t ream (of a t tent ion) f lows f rom m e to the s tone . Af ter a b o u t ha l f a minute o f this l o o k , we bl ink o n c e or twice . T h i s is done to separate the first phase o f the exerc ise from the n e x t . T h e n we look again. But this t ime we use a sof t , receptive, inviting, holist ic g a z e s u c h as we use in e y e - c o n t a c t with s o m e o n e . T h i s is a c c o m p a n i e d by the feeling tha t something n o w streams f r o m the s tone to us. We invite the pebble in feeling, inwardly feeling " S h o w y o u r s e l f , " " S p e a k , " "Te l l your wordless s tory . " We remain in this second gaze for up to five m i n u t e s a s long as we c o n t i n u e to exper ience a dif ference between the first a n d the second gaze. As far as poss ib le , we try not to verbal ize any exper ience we have had during the second gaze.

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Possible Experience (during exercise 139)

We experience n o difference between the t w o gazes. If this happens, we return to exercises 1 3 6 and 1 3 7 for another week. This negative experience may have several causes:

a. T h i n k i n g , c o n c e p t s , o r words m a y c o m e up during the second gaze and interfere with our receptive gesture. Th is m e a n s tha t th inking is n o t yet sufficiently disci-plined. In this case , we return to the thinking/imagin-ing c o n c e n t r a t i o n exerc ises on a " m a n - m a d e " o b j e c t ( 5 6 - 6 4 ) in order to strengthen the " I , " so that it can bear the m i g h t y ideas that are the " m e a n i n g " o f natural p h e n o m e n a .

b. We feel m o v e d during the second gaze. T h i s is a positive exper ience , but we should not give in to it t o o deeply. It touches us to be c lose to mighty ideas, which , perhaps for the first t ime, we feel are real i t ies . Or, we begin to feel our connec t ion with the reality o f our pebble .

1 4 0 . Th is k ind o f meditat ion seems to be easy. It seems to lead to exper iences the first t ime we do it. But the expecta t ion o f having the same exper ience , or indeed any expec ta t ion , m a k e s subsequent a t tempts m o r e difficult.

1 4 1 . I f we succeed in our medi ta t ion , and achieve with regularity the s e c o n d , receptive gaze, we can begin to do var iat ions o f this exerc ise : for ins tance , c o m p a r i n g first and second l o o k s at t w o different kinds o f pebbles ; then perhaps a pebble and a live leaf; then a pebble and a dead leaf ; o r t w o different leaves etc . T h r o u g h such " c o m p a r i s o n s " o u r feeling-sensitivity g r o w s .

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1 4 2 . As the receptive a t tent ion g r o w s , we can begin to exper ience the br idgenamely , h o w our receptive a t tent ion b e c o m e s imprinted by the o b j e c t , which in the exper ience begins to cease to be an object.

1 4 3 . As this experience intensifies, reality changes: the

pebble, the seeing o f it, and the witness become one reality.

1 4 4 . T h e unity o f attention and ob ject is achieved in cognitive feeling. It is similar to when one begins to read the letters o f the alphabet to reach to the meaning. N ot to read means to remain outside of the meaning. T o read is to enter into the meaning. Meaning is " o u t s i d e " the higher meaning, if there is one , as in meditat ion themes. Higher meaning, in turn, is " o u t s i d e " the light, out of which it is formed, and which can " s e e " the higher meaning.

1 4 5 . O n c e we can use the receptive g a z e u n m o v i n g a t t e n t i o n w e can direct it to the ob jec t . W h e n we b e c o m e identical with i tso that there is no longer any o b j e c t w e can b e c o m e aware o f the attention that has b e c o m e the cognit ive image o f w h a t w a s the ob jec t . T h e n we can b e c o m e aware o f at tent ion that is n o t yet imprinted by the " o b j e c t . "

1 4 6 . T h e receptive form of perception (in the realm o f any sense) is the condit ion for perceptual meditation. T h e abil-ity to produce receptive perception means that we become aware o f the receptive attention, the bridge, as well.

1 4 7 . After having attained receptive at tent ion in seeing, which is the easiest to w o r k wi th , we can turn to other senses (hearing, tasting, smelling, touching) .

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1 4 8 . Probably the last and most difficult task will be to attain receptive percept ion in the sense o f t o u c h , because touch is the c losest to the " m e " - f e e l i n g , which separates us f rom immedia te and unmediated k n o w i n g (See 2 4 ) .

Summary and Perspectives

1 4 9 . W h e n c o n c e n t r a t i o n attains a certain intensity, a t tent ion begins to f low steadily and effortlessly, and we exper ience its n o w restored original nature as joy and healthiness .

1 5 0 . As a t tent ion is in s o m e sense the " s u b s t a n c e " o f the self, when we c o n c e n t r a t e we gather together the dissipated parts o f the self.

1 5 1 . In medi ta t ion , emptiness o f mind flashes up; and we try to hold it steadily. If we succeed in keeping at ten-t ion empty, it g r o w s both in intuition and in quality.

1 5 2 . W h e n a t tent ion reaches the stage o f identif ication with the t h e m e in c o n c e n t r a t i o n , usually it first has the qual i ty o f pure ( form-free) thinking/picturing. If we keep it f o r m - f r e e e x p e r i e n c i n g it " b e f o r e " the i m a g e i t will change into feeling, a n d then into receptive wil l ing. " T h y will be d o n e " is the ga teway to the idea of the ob jec t , that is, to the will tha t it should funct ion in a certain way.

1 5 3 . Illusion arises when we do not exper ience the bridge: when we d o n o t include the bridge in the exper i -ence o f the " o b j e c t . " W h e n we d o n o t exper ience the

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bridge, duality arises. In the exper ience o f duality, the witness is present only as a shadow. As soon as we expe-rience the bridge, duality ceases .

1 5 4 . W h e n we start c o n c e n t r a t i n g on a c o n c e p t and exper ience the a t tent ion o f which it is m a d e , any c o n c e p t is suitable for the lett ing-go o f all c o n c e p t s .

1 5 5 . Unders tanding is not -unders tanding : it s tops when

something is unders tood .

1 5 6 . Unders tand the word " t h i s " and you are in the right place ; you need no further instruct ion.

1 5 7 . Recognize your at tent ion in every p h e n o m e n o n

o b j e c t s , thoughts , feelings, d is t rac t ions , dreams .

1 5 8 . T h e r e are n o p h e n o m e n a if consc iousness does not

m o v e .

1 5 9 . T o be unprejudiced means to dissolve concepts , thoughts , and forms, or to let them melt , by concentra t -ing at tent ion so as to attain emptiness . O n l y the empty mind or consc iousness can intuit new ideas. Such empti-ness usually happens by c h a n c e , in a m o m e n t so brief it is n o t exper ienced. But if the state o f emptiness is expe-rience consciously, it can be used for intuitive research. Th is presupposes the " I - a m " - e x p e r i e n c e and meditat ion.

1 6 0 . T h i s true light penetrates and dissolves every-thing. Therefore there is noth ing to a t ta ineveryth ing is a lready in it. N o seeking, no gett ing, n o grasping, n o e l iminat ing.

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1 6 1 . T h e r e is n o light outs ide ; therefore there is noth ing outs ide. T h e r e is n o light inside; therefore there is noth-ing inside. If everything is made o f l ight, where should the border between outside and inside be?

1 6 2 . W e can m a k e mistakes in understanding, but not in exper ienc ing .

1 6 3 . T h e general direct ion is b a c k w a r d : f rom the o b j e c t

t o w a r d the source o f a t tent ion .

1 6 4 . At tent ion ceases to m o v e f rom point to point , f rom ob jec t to o b j e c t , when it b e c o m e s a w a r e o f its o w n f lowing m o v e m e n t : then it stays still. T h e n the b r i d g e the awareness o f a t tent ion being i m p r i n t e d b e g i n s : the exper ience tha t leads a t tent ion b a c k to its source f rom the ob jec t .

1 6 5 . Recept ive a t tent ion does not m o v e .

1 6 6 . Strive; m a k e an effort ; then relax. If your attention was unmoving, when it relaxes, it will be empty. If it was moving, when it relaxes it will be filled with associat ions.

1 6 7 . Attent ion is formed by the w o r l d ; a t tent ion forms

the w o r l d .

1 6 8 . T h e bridge includes the " I - a m " v - e x p e r i e n c e . In the exper ience o f the br idge, the highest reality is c lose at hand .

1 6 9 . I l lusion arises when the exper ience o f reality does n o t include the bridge.

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1 7 0 . As long as we feel ourselves as bodies , our realities will be bodies . As long as we exper ience ourselves as souls , our realities will be concepts and ideas ( formed a t t e n t i o n ) . If we exper ience ourselves to be spiritual beings , consis t ing o f facult ies , o u r reality will be empty a t tent ion or light. T h e sequence or c h a n g e in reality begins with percept ion, turns to c o n c e p t s and ideas, then to light or empty at tent ion, which conceives the c o n c e p t s by which we perceive w h a t usually is called reality.

1 7 1 . S ince the " I - a m " - e x p e r i e n c e consis ts in a t tent ion l ighting up f rom within , there