THE LIFE CHANGING MAGIC OF MARRYING WITH INTENT,

PURPOSE, AND SIMPLICITY

Marie Kondo Your Wedding Day to Instill It with the Meaning and Beauty that It Deserves

JACKLEENLEEDPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

We so often spend money on things that we feel we’re supposed to have, rather than things that truly bring us joy. Planning a wedding is no different. We are bombarded and pressured by messages from the wedding industry. Messages that say a wedding is supposed to look a certain way. That it must take place at an expensive venue, involve an elaborate white dress, a bridal party, decor, food, drinks, a wedding cake and favors, a celebrant, and the attendance of everyone we have ever known (even if we haven’t seen them since we were 9)— whether or not these things actually make us happy (and even if they make us downright miserable).

Many couples also feel pressure from well-meaning family and friends, or feel trapped by tradition. They end up succumbing to these pressures instead of embracing what they really want. And we all want our wedding day to be meaningful, beautiful, and filled with intention. But how do we arrive at this without getting distracted by the fluff, by the pressures, and by the should have’s and should do’s?

Marie Kondo has two words for you. “Spark” and “joy.” If it doesn’t spark joy, it doesn’t deserve your time nor energy on your wedding day. Focusing your day on the pieces of your vision that are most meaningful to you and prioritizing those pieces before moving on to the smaller stuff, can ensure that your day is instilled with simplicity and meaning. And, most importantly, that the day you marry your best friend ends up being a true reflection of your relationship and belongs entirely to YOU.

Easier said than done, right? Wrong. You absolutely can do this by following a few simple steps, while keeping the words “spark joy” in mind for the entire process. Begin with a dream, then nail down your absolute priorities, and finally let your wedding day take shape within your allotted budget.

Step 1. Begin by dreaming.

It seems counterintuitive to start so big, right? But it’s oh so important. Before you can distill your day down to what specific aspects will bring you joy and meaning, you have to have some idea as to what your ideal wedding day looks like. YOUR ideal wedding day, not your mom’s or your aunt’s, not your best friend’s. This is about you and your partner. This is where you sit down and leave the guilt and the should have’s and should do’s behind (they’re not invited to this discussion).

Dream up together what truly reflects who you are as a couple, your priorities, and what is meaningful in your relationship. Imagining what you want your wedding day to look like brings focus to your planning. You may not have all the details pinned down at the end of this step (that comes later), but you can make sure that you stay true to your vision and don’t veer too far off your chosen path.

So go ahead. Sit down with your partner and DREAM. Where are you getting married? Is it local or on the other side of the world? Is it inside or outside? On a beach or at the tippy top of a mountain? Are you in a desert or perched on the edge of a cliff? There’s absolutely no reason at this point to think “is this actually feasible” or to worry about your budget. Dream big here because this is your day and you deserve it (the logistics can and will be worked out later). What time of year is it? Are there autumn colors or is it during the romantic haziness that summertime lends? Maybe you like colder weather and see yourself marrying at a ski resort? How intimate will it be? Is it a large gathering or only your closest family and friends? Maybe it’s super intimate with only the two of you and an officiant in attendance? Perhaps it’s self solemnizing?

What does your ceremony look like? Any important religious or cultural traditions that you would like to incorporate? Maybe a handfasting to give nod to your Scottish roots? Will there be music or celebratory drinks involved? What are you wearing? What other activities are you doing? Maybe something you love doing together as a couple or something you have never tried but have always wanted to give a go? What does your overall vision for your day feel like? And what types of images will help you experience that feeling after the day and for years to come?

There are tons of tools to use in this stage. Pinterest being the most obvious, but also social media, travel guides (Rough Guides and Lonely Planet are some of my favorites), and Google Earth Pro, if you’re planning on making a trip of it. Local resources are great as well. This step is where a lot of fun happens.

You can make a date of it, snuggle down with your partner, eat your favorite food, drink your favorite beverage, and just have a good time dreaming. Now that you have honed in on your vision, you can move on to the smaller details. Remember to revisit the vision and to stay true to it.

And if you need some help at this point, don’t be afraid to ask! I love helping couples with the intimate wedding planning process and making their vision real.

Step 2. Marie Kondo your bridal party and your guest list.

One of the most difficult decisions couples face is who will attend the ceremony. And how will friends and family take the decision? Think back to your ideal wedding day. Who did you envision there with you? Was it a big celebration or an intimate ceremony? Remember the words “spark joy” and only include family or friends that actually do so, rather than inviting people out of feelings of obligation.

This day is 100% about your relationship, and your bridal party and guest list should reflect that. Are the people on your list an important part of your relationship and will they continue to be a large part of your married life? If your vision involved only you and your partner, but you still feel the need to include other important individuals (not out of obligation, but because doing so sparks joy), consider having a pre-wedding/elopement celebration or a dinner after getting hitched to celebrate with loved ones. There are lots of ways you can involve family and friends from a distance. Have them compose letters of well wishes to be read during or after your ceremony. Skype or FaceTime with them after the ceremony. Have a videographer there to record the whole thing and/or have your photographer create an album for each of your parents, one that documents your whole story. And if they are part of your vision for your wedding day, by all means, include them! But remember, not out of obligation.

Stay strong and stay true to your vision in this step.

Step 3. Marie Kondo your priorities.

You did this a bit in Step 1, but here you’re going to dig deeper, shaping your wedding to reflect what really matters to you, taking both your vision and your budget into account. Think back to your vision. What aspects of the day were absolutely the most meaningful? If you decided to go the elopement or intimate wedding route in the first two steps, money that would have been tied up in feeding and entertaining a ton of guests would go further and (dare I say) toward the things that really matter to you.

Maybe you and your partner have been bit by the travel bug, and a large traditional wedding wouldn’t leave any funds for wanderlusting. Eloping let’s you combine both the wedding and the honeymoon in an epic way. Want to say your “I do’s” in the Italian Alps? Go ahead and make it happen. Maybe your vision involved a stunning wedding dress that just wouldn’t have been possible when budgeting for a larger wedding? Make that dream a reality. Perhaps the photographer you really wanted to capture your day was out of your price range when budgeting for a big traditional wedding. Elope and have those moments captured in the way that does your love story justice.

It’s so important to note that a meaningful and beautiful wedding can take on many different faces and is possible when working with absolutely any budget. Have a smaller budget? Choose a location closer to home, something lovely but less expensive to wear, and a photographer at the top of your price range who will capture beautifully and authentically all of the emotive and tender moments that naturally unfold during your dream day. A small budget can go a lot further when it’s not spread as thin.

By using the above steps to choose the aspects of your day that are the most essential to your vision and that are most meaningful to you, you ensure that you get married with intention in a way that istruly and utterly your own.

There you have it. I hope this helped you to create a vision for your day that is filled with meaning, beauty, and intent, and ultimately, that is all about YOU and YOUR RELATIONSHIP. And I hope it opened the door to possibilities that you may not have previously realized existed. Not thrilled about orchestrating a huge wedding, creating guest lists, seating charts, and keeping the peace? Don’t! Keep in mind how you want your wedding to feel and prioritize the things that will contribute the most to that feeling. Most important of all, go on and get married in your own way!

And if you need help, reach out. Many intimate wedding and adventure elopement photographers (myself included!) are more than happy to take care of the logistics (researching permits, etc.) for you! If your budget allows for it, hire a wedding planner or a photographer who will guide you through the process and make your intimate wedding dreams a reality!

jackleenleedphotography.com

CLOTHING & RINGS DRESS/SUIT/EXTRA LAYERS In addition to local bridal shops, there are tons of great online options for wedding dresses (Etsy has some really lovely ones!). Remember, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a wedding dress and it certainly doesn’t have to be white, if that wasn’t part of your vision. You do you! Layers really depend on your location and season, but whatever you choose, make sure you’ll be warm enough and that you won’t mind being photographed in them.

FOOTWEAR

The activities that you choose will really dictate what shoes you wear (e.g., hiking boots for all day adventuring in the mountains), but above all else, make sure the shoes that you choose are comfortable!

RINGS Don’t forget the rings! This one is especially fun because there are so many different wedding bands out there now that can be customized, handmade, and just really reflect your personalities and the essence of your relationship.

WEDDING PLANNING CHECKLISTNow that you have your location & guest list nailed down, it’s time

to move on to all the other details. Here’s a checklist to help!

VENDORS & DETAILS PHOTOGRAPHER

Finding a photographer that you click with can’t be emphasized enough. In most cases, your photographer is the only vendor who will be with you every moment of your day. It’s important that you feel you can connect with them.

OFFICIANT Do you need/want an officiant? Does your photographer also officiate? Are you planning on self- solemnizing instead?

HAIR & MAKEUP Are you doing this yourself, having a close friend or family member do it, or hiring someone? How will you touch it up throughout the day?

FLOWERS

Will you have a bouquet and will you have to order it and pick it up at a distant location from your wedding? How soon will you have to order?

FOOD & DRINK Are you planning on having an intimate picnic? Procuring a private chef or catering? Will there be a wedding cake? Are you having celebratory drinks like champagne?

MUSIC

ACTIVITIES HIKING If you’re hiking, you’ll want to make sure you have some additional items. Sturdy hiking shoes, as well as a comfortable hiking backpack that will fit everything you need for the day, are necessary. Also consider bringing any trail maps, a head lamp (in case you’re hiking to your location for sunrise or hiking back after sunset), sunscreen, bug spray, small first aid kit, hand warmers, rain gear, and food and water.

OTHER ADVENTURES & FUN STUFF Your wedding day can take any shape that you like and involve almost any activity you can dream up. Skiing, skydiving, zip-lining, stargazing, kayaking, paddle boarding, you name it. Make sure you have the necessary gear/equipment and any additional vendors needed to make your chosen activity a reality.

CEREMONY

WRITE YOUR VOWS

FINALIZE YOUR CEREMONY Make sure you have your vows, wedding bands, gather any other items/keepsakes that you want to involve in your day. Plan the overall flow of your ceremony, making sure to incorporate any readings or cultural/religious elements that are important to you. Consider including a special surprise for your partner.

CREATE A ROUGH TIMELINE Make sure your timeline allows you to take time to just savor your day without rushing or stressing. Your photographer should be able to help you with this, as well as making sure that photos are taken at the best part of the day. Don’t be afraid to be spontaneous! Some of the best and most meaningful moments are completely unexpected.

FINAL DETAILS

FINALIZE YOUR TIMELINE Review your timeline and any backup plans. Take care of all payments with your vendors.

TAKE CARE OF THE LEGAL REQUIREMENTS If you’ve decided that this day will be more than symbolic, make sure you collect your marriage license and any additional necessary documents. Make sure you have the necessary permits, if your location requires them (many public lands also require that your photographer have one to photograph there).

CHECK THE WEATHER

Check the weather the week before you head to your destination to make any needed adjustments. If you’re getting married outside, be prepared with and review any backup plans.

PACK

Pack your vows, rings, clothing, shoes, layers, accessories, any important items that you want to include in your day, such as special surprises you have for each other. If you’re flying, make sure to pack anything super important for your day in a carry-on.

TELL SOMEONE

If your ceremony site is more secluded or takes some work to get to, let someone who is not accompanying you know where you are going, as well as your rough timeline.

RELAX, HAVE FUN, & ENJOY YOUR DAY!

Planning a big traditional wedding can be stressful. Eloping or marrying intimately let’s you significantly minimize that stress. But that’s not the only reason to forgo the conventional way to tie the knot.

BEING MARRIED IS DEFINITELY AN ADVENTURE. Small weddings and elopements reflect that. They are INTIMATE and AUTHENTIC, putting the focus back where it belongs, on the couple. It’s all about commencing life with your best friend in a way that’s most MEANINGFUL to YOU.

WHEN YOU HIKE UP A MOUNTAINSIDE WITH YOUR PARTNER, YOU HELP EACH OTHER OUT ALONG THE WAY. It’s not always easy, but it is always

worthwhile when you reach that epic view at the top! MARRIAGE IS A LOT LIKE THAT. You have each other’s backs. If you happen to stumble, you catch one another. And you celebrate your achievement and love at the peak.

I REALLY HOPE THIS GUIDE IS HELPFUL IN PLANNING WHAT WILL INEVITABLY BE ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT DAYS IN YOUR LIFE.

If you need some help with planning along the way, I’m here for you. I would be thrilled to help you craft your dream day!

jackleenleedphotography.com