1 december 2014 | www.cpyu.org

YOUTH CULTURE HOT QUOTE

I didn’t get in when the party started. It’s also just primarily time and effort. I find it hard enough in my day-to-day life to give myself a context that’s private or removed from constant observation. I want to keep a diary so my grandkids can have it, but I have no interest in publishing it.

December 2014

THE CENTER FOR PARENT/ YOUTH UNDERSTANDING

Helping parents understand teenagers and their world

It starts earlier and earlier each year. This year they – retailers, that is - tried to grab our attention, loyalty, and cash long before kids came knocking on the door looking for Halloween candy. The Christmas shopping season starts earlier every year, and pretty soon it will be a year-long event. That means that the promises of redemption and fulfillment through the accumulation of random, largely meaningless stuff won’t wait until “Black Friday” to be revealed. Sad, isn’t it?

I remember what it was like when I was kid. In a world void of Internet marketing, we had

“The Wish Book.” I believed that the stuff inside that annual Sears&Roebuck Christmas Catalog could and would change my life. When it arrived in the mail I would eagerly go through it, circling all the toys I hoped to get for Christmas. Then, on Christmas morning, I would descend the stairs into the Promised Land that sat under our family Christmas tree.

Just as I remember those excited feelings of pre-Christmas anticipation, I also remember the empty and disappointed let-down I felt in the hours and days after the wrapping paper had been ripped off. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy. . . but only for awhile. Some of the stuff under the tree just didn’t look or work like it had in the catalog pictures. It wasn’t long before the novelty wore off and everything wound up in the back of my closet or bottom of my toybox. I had believed that all that stuff under the tree would somehow make me feel better, make me happy, or make me complete. It was nothing but a lie. But stupid me, each and every year it was the same thing as my yearning for completeness, peace, and satisfaction led me to buy into the great “lie of Christmas” one more time.

Even though I know better, I sometimes still find myself falling back into those ridiculously hollow patterns. You think I would have learned by now. But now it’s any number of attractive lies floating around in the cultural air we all breathe that are full of nothing but empty promises. Yes, the “lie of Christmas” lives on strong in our culture year-round.

Without a doubt, the greatest inheritance we can pass on to your kids is the truth about the lie. Not only that the “lie of Christmas” is a lie, but that the “truth of Christmas” is the truth. For me, it was my parents’ annual Christmas wish list that helped me gain perspective. You see, when I’d ask them what they wanted for Christmas, they usually answered by saying,

“We don’t need anything.” When Christmas morning arrived, I’d feel bad for them as they opened boxes of socks, kitchenware, and itchy shirts. Much to my surprise, they were never disappointed. Why? Because they had already been satisfied by the truth of Christmas. And because they didn’t want anything, I quickly learned they already had everything.

While the “lie of Christmas” lives on strong, it can’t compare to the life-changing power of what Christmas is really about. The truth of Christmas is the only thing that answers our deepest of longings and fills the most empty of lives! The Redeemer, Jesus Christ, is the only source of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. Perhaps as you gather around the tree this Christmas you’ll make it your prayer that your kids would behold the same Truth that’s filled countless eager eyes and hungry hearts since the day God became man.

Actor Benedict Cumberbatch, on why he doesn’t have a Twitter account, USA Today, November 26, 2014

The Lie of ChristmasWALT MUELLER, CPYU President

2 december 2014 | www.cpyu.org

QUICK STATS

ANOREXIA RECOVERY AND PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT Every now and then we run across an alert that should fall into the category of just good old common sense, but serves as a necessary reminder of how powerful our parental influence really is. One such news report relates to the positive role parents can and must play in helping their teens who struggle with disordered eating get on the road to spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery. Researchers are saying that involving parents in the counseling and recovery process is especially helpful in disrupting the maintaining behaviors of anorexia. This is an important shift for some counselors as many believed for a long time that families were a significant causal factor for disordered eating. We believe that families play the most significant role in adolescent identity formation. Parents need to counter the cultural messages our teens hear from the culture which lead them to believe that their value lies in appearance. Parents, love and see your kids as Christ loves and sees your kids.

Underage drinkers are 3x more likely to drink

alcohol brands that advertise on TV shows they watch, compared

to other alcohol brands. (Boston University and

Johns Hopkins University)

81% of U.S. teens and young adult Internet

users felt people their age shared too much

information online. (Camp Mobile)

TO

P 10

FROM THE NEWS:

1. Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare 2. Destiny 3. Madden NFL 15 4. Grand Theft Auto V 5. FIFA 15 6. Assassin’s Creed: Unity 7. NBA 2K15 8. NHL 15 9. Halo: The Master Chief Collection 10. Far Cry 4

Most Coveted Video Games (on the Xbox One Platform) for Holiday 2014 among gamers of all ages

Source:

Nielsen, October 2014

Titles considered for the report are

those that have released since Aug. 1,

2014, or are expected to release before

the end of this year.

Pornography As Art by Jason Soucinek

3 december 2014 | www.cpyu.org

The sad truth is that soft-core pornography is appearing in culture now more than ever before, and is often being viewed as art. While nudity in the public forum is nothing new, the public discourse on whether or not this is pornographic has all but disappeared, even as the frequency of these images has increased. If you disagree that these images are art you’re labeled a prude or someone who lacks the ability to see this for the beauty the rest of the advertising world says it is. That is one reason we do not see much discourse on this in the public sphere.We need to be alert to the desensitization of how we view pornographic images. As pornography is being redefined by culture, we need to also remember what science and research shows it to be, a force that is destructive and changes the way we see others. In an effort to counter some of what we see in our media, it is important we take the following steps with our kids and ourselves:

• Clearly define what pornography is.• Understand the impact that pornography has on our culture.• Realize that we are made for relationship.• Recognize that pornography distorts God’s design for sex. • Don’t believe pornography is something we just have to accept.

TRENDALERT

CPYU’S

TRENDS:

alcohol marketing on college campuses

Parents, this trend should encourage you to have conversations with your teenagers about the pressure

to use and abuse alcohol on college campuses. Critics of university policies are now raising

awareness regarding the mixed messages being sent to students as a result of the relationship

between alcohol and college sporting events. More and more colleges are supplementing their

revenues by choosing to sell alcohol at college games, and some are even teaming with the

alcohol companies on marketing campaigns. For example, the University of Louisville has teamed with Maker’s Mark Bourbon by selling bottles of

bourbon with images of University coaches on the label. Common-sense tells us that students are going to get mixed messages from schools that

warn about campus drinking culture, and then turn around and promote alcohol consumption at sporting events.

Prepare your kids to make God-honoring choices by helping them spot and respond to the pressure to drink.

LATEST RESEARCH:

being coolIf you’re a parent, chances are you spent time during your own adolescence working to improve your cool factor. That pressure to

be cool still exists for kids in today’s world. But new research from the journal Child Development gives us a new perspective on cool that we can discuss with our kids. It seems that coolness in the adolescent world eventually fades away. Researchers tracked kids beginning when they were thirteen, continuing through age twenty-three. They found that teens who seemed older because they wore make-up, had boyfriends or girlfriends, or engaged in delinquent behavior were usually perceived by peers as being cool. But by the time these cool kids had reached the age of twenty-two, they were no longer

seen by peers as being cool. In fact, they were seen as less capable of staying in friendships and relationships. Proverbs 31:30 tells us that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. Be sure your kids know that cool is fleeting too!

4 december 2014 | www.cpyu.org

© 2014 All rights reserved. The CPYU Parent Page is published monthly by the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, a nonprofit organization committed to building strong families by serving to bridge the cultural-generational gap between parents and teenagers.

Phone: (717) 361-8429 Fax: (717) 361-8964 email: cpyu@cpyu.org PO Box 414, Elizabethtown, PA 17022 | www.cpyu.org

FROM THE WORDIf you’re like most parents, what you hope for is a safe, smooth, and problem-free ride through the years of adolescence with your kids. So why should we actually pray for our teenager’s corrupt and sinful nature to rise up and reveal itself while they’re still living under our authority and watchful eyes? Why in the world would we ever hope for difficulty?!?Think about this: we need to constantly remind ourselves that part of our teenager’s makeup (because they are human) is that just like us, they were born with a tendency to sin. In other words, they didn’t have to be taught how to do wrong. It comes naturally. The apostle Paul recognizes this reality when he instructs parents to teach their children how to do right by bringing them “up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).Sadly, in many Christian homes, kids will often hide their sinful nature through behavioral conformity that doesn’t reflect the true condition of their hearts. But if the nuances of their corrupt nature come out when they are young, we have the opportunity to address those heart matters now. If those things are left to rear their ugly heads later in life and our kids don’t recognize or know how to deal with them, think about the great troubles and difficulties that will come. Pray that God would reveal your teen’s sin issues and tendencies now so that you are able to teach them how to recognize and deal with them, both now and for the rest of their lives. When God answers this prayer it’s certainly not easy. But it’s important to face and address their sin tendencies now so that you can nurture your teen’s heart into a God-honoring adulthood, rather than having to face them later.

“Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the

Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

resourceresource

Available in the CPYU Resource Center at

www.cpyuresourcecenter.org.

HELPFULSelf-injury has moved into the mainstream, as more kids are cutting to cope with their emotional pain, and more parents and youth workers are scrambling to help. Unless you are a trained counselor, you will most likely be unable to handle the kind and depth of counseling needed to help habitual self-injurers. But if we realize how we are uniquely positioned to discover the behavior, refer kids for help, and pray for and support those who cut, an understanding of self-injury is a crucial weapon in our ministry arsenal. Dr. Marv Penner’s book, Hope and Healing for Kids Who Cut: Learning to Understand and Help Those Who Self-Injure offers both an explanation and course of action that youth workers and parents alike will find immensely helpful.

Website

Did you know that CPYU offers tons of

free resources on their website for parents, youth

workers, pastors and others who work with

children and teens? Visit www.cpyu.org

to browse the site and explore!