the importance of being earnest...the importance of being earnest 10 algernon: oh! merely aunt...

The Importance of Being Earnest

o s c a r w i l d e

r e n a r d p r e s s

RENARD PRESS LTD

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The Importance of Being Earnest first published in 1899This edition first published by Renard Press Ltd in 2021

Edited text, Notes and Extra Material © Renard Press Ltd, 2021

Cover illustrations adapted from Aubrey Beardsley’s illustrations for the Dent edition of Le morte d’Arthur (1893–94); cover design by Will Dady Extra Material edited by Tom Conaghan

Printed in the UK by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon CR0 4YY

ISBN: 978-1-913724-05-4

9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The pictures in this volume are reprinted with permission or are presumed to be in the public domain. Every effort has been made to ascertain their copy-right status, and to acknowledge this status where required, but we will be happy to correct any errors, should any unwitting oversights have been made, in subsequent editions.

All rights reserved. This publication may not be reproduced, stored in a re-trieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means – electronic, mech-anical, photocopying, recording or otherwise – without the prior permission of the publisher.

c o n t e n t s

The Importance of Being Earnest 1Act i 5Act i i 41Act i i i 83

Note on the Text 107Notes 107

Extra Material 109

t h e i m p o rta n c e o f

b e i n g e a r n e s t

A Trivial Comedy for Serious People

To Robert Baldwin Ross*in appreciation,

in affection

t h e p e r s o n s i n t h e p l ay

j o h n wo rt h i n g , j . p ., ‘jac k ’ a lg e r n o n m o n c r i e f f

r e v. c a n o n c h a s u b l e, d d*m e r r i m a n, Butlerl a n e, Manservantl a dy b r ac k n e l l

h o n. g w e n d o l e n fa i r fa x

c e c i ly c a r d e w

m i s s p r i s m , Governess

t h e s c e n e s o f t h e p l ay

ac t i

Algernon Moncrieff’s flat in Half Moon Street, W.

ac t i i The garden at the Manor House, Woolton.

ac t i i i Drawing room at the Manor House, Woolton.

t i m e

The present.

a c t i

7

s c e n e

Morning room in a lg e r n o n ’s flat in Half Moon Street. The room is luxuriously and artistically furnished. The sound of a piano is heard in the adjoining room. l a n e is arranging afternoon tea on the table, and after the music has ceased a lg e r n o n enters.

a lg e r n o n: Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?l a n e: I didn’t think it polite to listen, sir.a lg e r n o n: I’m sorry for that, for your sake. I don’t play

accurately – anyone can play accurately – but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is con-cerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.

l a n e: Yes, sir.a lg e r n o n: And, speaking of the science of Life, have

you got the cucumber sandwiches cut for Lady Bracknell?

l a n e: Yes, sir. (Hands them on a salver.)a lg e r n o n (inspects them, takes two and sits down on the

sofa): Oh!… by the way, Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when Lord Shoreham and Mr Worthing were dining with me, eight bottles of champagne are entered as having been consumed.

t h e i m p o rta n c e o f b e i n g e a r n e s t

8

l a n e: Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.a lg e r n o n: Why is it that at a bachelor’s establishment

the servants invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information.

l a n e: I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.

a lg e r n o n: Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?

l a n e: I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in con-sequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.

a lg e r n o n (languidly): I don’t know that I am much interested in your family life, Lane.

l a n e: No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself.

a lg e r n o n: Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Lane, thank you.

l a n e: Thank you, sir.

(l a n e goes out.)

a lg e r n o n: Lane’s views on marriage seem somewhat lax. Really, if the lower orders don’t set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.

ac t i

9

(Enter l a n e .)

l a n e: Mr Ernest Worthing.

(Enter jac k. l a n e goes out.)

a lg e r n o n: How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you up to town?

jac k: Oh, pleasure, pleasure! What else should bring one anywhere? Eating as usual, I see, Algy!

a lg e r n o n (stiffly): I believe it is customary in good so-ciety to take some slight refreshment at five o’clock. Where have you been since last Thursday?

jac k (sitting down on the sofa): In the country.a lg e r n o n: What on earth do you do there?jac k (pulling off his gloves): When one is in town one amuses

oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is excessively boring.

a lg e r n o n: And who are the people you amuse?jac k (airily): Oh, neighbours, neighbours.a lg e r n o n: Got nice neighbours in your part of

Shropshire?jac k: Perfectly horrid! Never speak to one of them.a lg e r n o n: How immensely you must amuse them!

(Goes over and takes sandwich.) By the way, Shropshire is your county, is it not?

jac k: Eh? Shropshire? Yes, of course. Hallo! Why all these cups? Why cucumber sandwiches? Why such reckless extravagance in one so young? Who is coming to tea?

t h e i m p o rta n c e o f b e i n g e a r n e s t

10

a lg e r n o n: Oh! merely Aunt Augusta and Gwendolen.jac k: How perfectly delightful!a lg e r n o n: Yes, that is all very well; but I am afraid Aunt

Augusta won’t quite approve of your being here.jac k: May I ask why?a lg e r n o n: My dear fellow, the way you flirt with

Gwendolen is perfectly disgraceful. It is almost as bad as the way Gwendolen flirts with you.

jac k: I am in love with Gwendolen. I have come up to town expressly to propose to her.

a lg e r n o n: I thought you had come up for pleasure?… I call that business.

jac k: How utterly unromantic you are!a lg e r n o n: I really don’t see anything romantic in

proposing. It is very romantic to be in love. But there is nothing romantic about a definite proposal. Why, one may be accepted. One usually is, I believe. Then the excitement is all over. The very essence of romance is uncertainty. If ever I get married, I’ll certainly try to forget the fact.

jac k: I have no doubt about that, dear Algy. The Divorce Court was specially invented for people whose memories are so curiously constituted.

a lg e r n o n: Oh! there is no use speculating on that subject. Divorces are made in heaven— (jac k puts out his hand to take a sandwich. a lg e r n o n at once inter-feres.) Please don’t touch the cucumber sandwiches. They are ordered specially for Aunt Augusta. (Takes one and eats it.)

ot h e r c l a s s i c t i t l e s f r o m

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the importance of being earnest...the importance of being earnest 10 algernon: oh! merely aunt...

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