the hype weekly #19

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HypeWeekly

TheHypeWeekly

The

Also:Public Apology

Geek Weekly!T.U.Cr.O.U.D

FREE

2011 You<2012 YouBy: Sarah Sullivan pg. 4

2 - January 5, 2012 - www.thehypeweekly.com

HypeWeekly

TheUS to You

Your Hit Music Channel!

www.Z963.com

issue #19 - January 5th, 2012

This issue of The Hype Weekly Found Trudging down the Jogging Path Muttering about Bathing Suit Season by:

jimbo ivy, sarah sullivan, George Wame Matthews, Keegan D. Hudspeth, Julie Ivy, Ben Shields, DJ Ginger, Caleb Jennison, Caitlin Cash, Darren Strouts,

Betsy Baddeley, and as always the mysterious “hypester”.

(All content copyright 2011 The hype Weekly, llc)

Business BitsThe Hype Weekly, LLC

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Contact us! We do not have the E-Rabies!

Special Thanks to:our amazing families, Auntie Mae’s Parlor, Sisters of sound, on the wildside,

Leisure Time AV Design, Manhattan Broadcasting & Z 96.3, the Columbian theatre, olson’s shoe repair, the manhattan arts center, the strecker-nelson gallery,

mystic myths, syndicate tattoo, T-LA-Re, wildcat 91.9, The riley county humane society, evan tuttle and the aggieville business association,

and the man, Jeff Denney.

The Slant(Voices, yours and ours)

2 - Us to You3 - Face/Off: Resolutions

Cover by: Keegan D. Hudspeth

The Beat(Stories you tell us to write)

4 - You 2012>You 20116- How Far Will You Go?

The Centerfold(Your Weekly Calender made of 100% Awesome)

The Hype(100% Right, Some of the Time)

7- Public Apology

- Geek Weekly

The Bump(Bump it, Brah, it rocks!)

13 - 30 Second Book Reviews12 - So Long Review

14 - THW 12 Hour Dance-a-thon

The Good Bits(The reasons most folks pick up newspapers)

15 - The Talent: Franklin’s Fear of Flight- The Forum

Dear Manhattan,

We are proud to present you with the very first issue of The Hype Weekly for 2012. We, The Hype Weekly would like to make a New Year’s Resolu-tion to continuously be a better outlet for news, reviews, cultural events, rants, raves, and a sense of community in Manhattan and the surround-ing area. We are counting on you, the reader to hold us to this by sending us any and all criticism, suggestions, or what you like about the paper to [email protected].

We also resolve to promote more local music and art, venues and busi-nesses. If there is something awesome, interesting or weird going on in your neck of the woods, let us know, we want to cover it.

If your next door neighbor has a garage band and you would love them to play a concert that was NOT in their garage for once, talk to them and have them contact us. We are in the business of promoting this commu-nity and its members in any and all of their endeavors.

Something happens during the week or someone near you says some-thing that has your sides in stitches and your legs crossed to prevent accidental urination? Send it to The Forum. If you are a photographer, artist (amaeteur or professional), writer, poet, or someone who sculpts faces out of jam, send us your pics, your writing, etc and let us promote you!

We would also like to take this time to congratulate Christian Abitz of Westmoreland who was the first winner of the Cryptogram/Crossword $10 Gift Card giveaway for Sisters of Sound. This is an event that will be taking place every week. The first person to send us a picture of a com-pleted cryptogram/crossword will be the winner!

Thank you for your continued support of The Hype Weekly, loyal read-ers. We look forward to serving you in 2012 and we wish you all the best luck and encouragement with your resolutions and your 2012.

Love,The Hype Weekly

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,

for they may act on their dreams.” - T.E. Lawrence

10- Sponsor Spotligh: On the Wildside

11- Skippin and Scratchin: Albums of 2011

14 - Ultimate Crossword of Ultimate Destiny

Answers to Last Week’s Cryptic Cynicisms from our Predecessors

www.thehypeweekly.com - january 5, 2012 - 3

The Slant

Voldemort would have won......if he<'d Advertised with The Hype Weekly.

Face/Off

Pro-Resolutions

As human beings, we are an imperfect group, but we also have hope for ourselves. We want to learn, grow, be healthy, attractive, travel to new places, impress each other, and love. New Year’s resolutions are important to us as a species because they give us something to strive for in the new year, and isn’t that what really separates us from the animals? A desire to improve ourselves?

So we diet, we strap on running shoes, we read dry nonfiction books while standing up so we won’t fall asleep, we make our fingers bleed while building up guitar calluses learning the rift from “Paint it Black” and “Stairway to Heaven”. We chew the gum, wear the patch, throw out the bottles, clean our houses and go out of our way to do things for our neighbors.

We join basket-weaving classes, sign up to bring cupcakes for soc-cer practice, buy a new bathing suit and promise ourselves we will look hot in it in six months. All these things give us something to look forward to, a finish line where all our hard work will pay off and we’ll see the fruits of our labors. We need New Year’s resolutions to motivate ourselves, become better people and feel a sense of cama-raderie with fellow resolution-makers.

Rebuttal

"Sense of camaraderie with fellow resolution-makers?" Ugh, really? Have you spent time with anybody like that? They're terrible. People who are serious about their resolutions al-ways come off as robotically self-obsessed. Not only should you not hang out with these people, but you should ac-tively mock them when you see them striving for something worthwhile.

It is only once I see someone forlorn, dejected, broken, and overwhelmed with the gravity of their own failures can I even begin to consider feeling any sort of empathy. And even that fades after like a split second. Anyway, your New Year’s resolutions get on my damn nerves, is the point. Cheers.

Anti-Resolutions

Don't expect me to be supportive. I don't care what you do. I don't care whether you lose weight or not, whether you quit smoking or not, whether you finish your novel or not, or even whether you travel the world and end up finding inner peace in some dilapidated shack on top of a mountain amidst a profound eat-pray-lovefest or not.

What I do care about is the spectacle: "I'm making the resolution. See, look at me, giving myself positive goals to strive toward. Gather round and look at me!" Whatever. Congratulations on watching Oprah, I'm go-ing to get on with the rest of my life.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you not to set goals for yourself. All I'm saying is that if you want to go ahead and do that, you don't have to inform or involve me. If you're going to lose weight, just do it. Don't put on the spectacle of making a resolution and announcing the number of calories in your salad to everyone within earshot. It's obnoxious.

Same with whatever method you're using to check up on your smoking, your word count, your level of happiness. You don't even need to wait til the New Year to make your decision on it. If it was something you really wanted to do, you wouldn't need the spectacle, the ritual, the protocol. You wouldn't need validation from me. You would just do it.

Rebuttal

Everything in moderation my friend and apparently you were once a for-lorn, dejected, broken and overwhelmed person. It’s ok. You can make a resolution to be a more positive person. The point of resolutions is not to announce them to the whole world and have a ‘look at me, look at me’ point of view. Those are the ones who don’t usually last. It’s a point of setting a goal for yourself, like, “Be happy to be alive today and stop taking ice cream from little kids and telling them that the ozone layer will be completely gone by the time they grow up.” Yes, I know your neighbors.

Then the point is to push yourself to achieve that goal. I believe in you Mr. Cranky Pants! I believe you can, by 2013 actually be Mr. Distant-and-Only-Sometimes-Cranky-Pants. And hey, you can sit next to me with your salad anytime and announce to the whole room that you will not throw it at the waiter, knock everyone’s water glasses to the floor and moon the chef because you have made a resolution to be a better person and I will never get annoyed by you. Cheers!

Resolutions: Pointless or Positive?


The Beat

The Hype Weekly Has Four Common Resolutions

You Can Keep!

2011 You<2012 YouBy: Sarah Sullivan

“I want to be healthy.”

Wildcat Nutrition- The infamous, “I want to lose weight/get healthy” resolution that looks much harder on January 1st than it did on December 31st. Wildcat Nutrition has supple-ments to help your body make the adjustment and a knowledgeable staff that will give you all the guidance that you need to achieve your resolution. Look for them on facebook and start the year off right.

Healthy Attitude- If motivation is one thing you lack to make your resolution happen, go see Chelsea Tankus at Healthy Attitude, just off of Poyntz, across from Mel’s Tavern. Starting this month, Healthy Attitude will begin their Weight Loss Challenge, powered by Herbalife shakes and prizes, as well as the camaraderie of fellow healthy resolution-ers. Get your healthy attitude on and check them out at: myhealthyattitude.com.

Manhattan Running Company- Decided to become a runner this year? Well, the best way to make sure that you don’t stop because of sore feet, bad knees, pain and a lack of coach-ing on the best way to run. All of these things can be found and obtained at Manhattan Running Company! They will guide you, help you find the best equipment for your body, and provide you with healthy tips to make sure you can achieve your resolution. Suit up at their website: manhattanrunningco.com.

Max Fitness- Not really one for running out-side? Or maybe you decided to become a body builder this year? Maybe you want a personal trainer and a scheduled work-out time. If so, Max Fitness is where you want to be. For a small fee every month, you have full access to

their facilities with the op-

tion of enrolling in specialty classes as well as getting full use of their work-out equipment on your schedule. You can also get a personal trainer to help keep you motivated and make sure you’re working out right.

Check them out at: maxfitnessclubs.com.

“I want to learn something new.”

UFM- There is an unending wealth of diverse knowledge to be found in the classes offered by UFM. Classes range in topics from Scuba Diving to Tai Chi, fencing, archery, swim les-sons, belly dancing, ballet, canine citizen, CPR, music lessons, language lessons, and more. The class fees are very reasonable and there is something for everyone no matter your inter-ests, abilities or age. If your resolution was to learn Irish Set Dancing, or to take an intro-ductory class to Sea Kayaking, UFM will help you get there. Visit tryufm.org and click on non-credit or credit classes on the left for more information and a complete class listing. Wildflower Yarns and Knitwear- Even if you don’t know one end of a knitting needle from the other, you can make that knitting resolu-tion come true with the classes offered at Wild-flower Yarns and Knitwear down on Poyntz. Learn to knit or crochet the basics in one of the beginner classes or if you’re an experienced knitter/crocheter, try out the sweater knitting or Tunisian crochet workshops. Try out one of the specialized classes in domino knitting

or designing and knitting your own vest. Or, if you are mostly looking to make some new friends with the same interests, give The Knit Happy Club a try! Visit wildflowerknits.com for a full listing of classes and information.

Knit to it!

Manhattan Arts Center- Has your inner artist been look-

ing for a way out? A place to express yourself and improve your skills? Well look no further than the art classes offered at the Manhat-tan Arts Center. There are classes for the whole family

with clay and pottery classes for kids and adults as well as

an open clay studio that will give you the chance to create the

individual projects you’re working on with guidance and the supplies nec-

essary. If drawing and painting is more your style, there are numerous opportunities for kids and adults in drawing, painting, watercol-ors and oils.

So blow the dust off the brushes from two Christmases ago, and visit the MAC website at manhattanarts.org for more information and to enroll. Check the website in the spring for theatre classes and music classes also offered at the MAC. Manhattan Parks and Recreation- We realize it is only January and we’re about five months from ‘summer’ but the Manhattan Parks and Rec program has classes, sports programs and clubs that will keep you and your friends and family on your feet this summer. Check out the Manhattan Parks and Recreation website at www.ci.manhattan.ks.us for more information.

“I want to find an alternative to TV or Facebook.”

Manhattan Public Library- Books are a gateway into a world of learning, and fantasy. Plus, there’s nothing as awesome as being able to recommend a good book to someone or quote Marcel Proust when you’re on a date. (As long as you don’t do it in a con-descending, pretentious way). What better place to find a wide selection of FREE to borrow books? The Manhattan Pub- lic library houses more than just books in its sleeves, if you can


The Beat

pardon the pun. There are a wide variety of activities

for kids and adults includ-ing the R.E.A.D. with dogs

program, book clubs, free children’s movies and refer-

ences to learn about anything and everything. Look for your

favorites on their shelves, pick the brains of one of their awesome librarians, trade recommendations with a

fellow patron, check their new arrivals shelves and enjoy.

For a full catalog listing and services that the MPL provides, check out their website: www.manhattan.lib.ks.us.

The Dusty Bookshelf- If you are looking for some impressively old clas-sics or eccentric books to fill your IKEA shelves or use as trade in your Ramen barter system with your roommates then look no further. The same can be said if you are a seasoned collector looking for a printed treasure. Dusty is a bookstore unlike any other you can find. The staff knows the entire catalog of the store off the top of their head and they also sell wonderful items that are especially for book enthusiasts. Get lost in the shelves, hang out, and find the perfect literature to satisfy your, “I will read more Kafka/Dickens/Austen/Kerouac”.

Look them up at www.thedustybookshelf.com for a listing of their ser-vices, featured books, and more.

Strecker-Nelson Gallery- Searching for a place to inject some artistic culture into your life? Wander down to Poyntz and browse the Strecker-Nelson Gallery and the Pop-Up Gallery nestled next to it. With a new art exhibit every few weeks and a diversity ranging from traditional, abstract, post-modern and eclectic, you are sure to find plenty of artistic culture to enjoy and bask in. Check out their website: strecker-nelson-gallery.com to see the current and future exhibits as well as events where you can meet the artists and learn about their influences.

McCain Auditorium- A veritable hub for the performing arts, McCain Auditorium brings national touring shows, comedians, musicians, speak-ers and entertainment of every variety to Manhattan. Buy a season pass, so you’ll be sure to make it to the shows or gift passes to friends and fam-ily who are trying to elevate their entertainment this year and tag along. Who knows? You might enjoy it just as much!

Get your tickets today at: www.k-state.edu/mccain/tickets.

Theatre at KSU or The Manhattan Arts Center- Feel like going to see your friends and family in local shows? Check out the auditions and shows being put on by the Manhattan Arts Center at www.manhattan-arts.org. If experimental or student theatre is your cup of tea, try the KSU Theatre shows that run throughout the school year. Check out their season at: k-state.edu/theatre/.

The Columbian Theatre- Perhaps you are not from Manhattan or you’re simply seeking culture outside the city limits. If so, the beautiful gallery at the Columbian Theatre in Wamego is a great place to start with artists from all over, hanging their very best work in this historical landmark. The Columbian also hosts a terrific theatrical run of shows each season and artistic contests for the community. See what the Columbians are up to at: www.columbiantheatre.com.

The Zeandale Art Project- If hands on art is more your speed, there is also the Zeandale Art Project in Zeandale with a store where they sell their products and experts on hand who have dedicated their lives to their art. Well worth the short drive to the cultural treasures in the outly-ing hills.

“I want to be more involved with my community.”

We are lucky to live in a community that has so many opportunities for service such as the Flint Hills Breadbasket where food and monetary donations stay in the community to help those in need. Run a food drive, collect clothing, or volunteer at the Manhattan Emergency Shelter. We even have programs in Manhattan that will match volunteers with needs such as HandsOn Kansas State and RSVP of the Flint Hills. You don’t have to be a student to volunteer with HandsOn, all you have to do is visit their website at: handsonkstate.force.com and enter your informa-tion in the personal info section. RSVP of the Flint Hills is a program specially geared towards the older and more experienced members of the Flint Hills area, matching volunteers with programs that interest them and give them a stronger connection to the community.

Social service agencies are always looking for board members as well. If you are passionate about a particular program, talk to the organizers about how you would go about becoming an active board member. The City and County both have many advisory boards upon which citizens serve that govern policies regarding everything from our social services to economic development. You can find a list of the various boards and vacancies on their respective websites.

For people who can't make an ongoing commitment by serving on a board, there are opportunities to volunteer for short-term projects at the Seniors' Service Center (4th & Leavenworth) or at any of the long-term care facilities (Meadowlark Hills, Via Christi, Stoneybrook). Big Brothers/Big Sisters and Boys & Girls Club are always in need of volunteers to help them do the wonderful things they do for our community, as does the Flinthills Breadbas-ket.

So there you have it: four resolutions that we can absolutely keep to make ourselves, our community and 2012 the best they can be!

Edwin C. Olson Sr.

1214 B. MoroManhattan, KS 66502

785-539-8571www.olsonsshoes.com

[email protected] 9:00-6:00

Sat 9:00-1:00


Shop Small!

For over fifty years, the United States has given the world a program that helps Ameri-cans reach out and touch the lives of people around the world. What they don't tell you in the pam-phlets are all the lives that will touch yours when you go into the Peace Corps.

Whether you have been considering participating in the Peace Corps your whole life, or the economy and a desire for world-vision has prompted you to visit peacecorps.gov, the best time to do something positive like serving your fellow man is always, now.

The Corps sends volunteers in areas such as; agriculture, business and information technologies, education, health and HIV/AIDs education, youth development, community development, and environ-mental sustainability including conserva-tion and alternative energy. Volunteers are sent to over 70 countries in 8 differ-ent regions of the world, and if you have a heart to serve, there is definitely some-thing for you.

Personally, the Peace Corps has been on my to-do list since age ten when I heard about it in school. I began my application process in Febru-ary of 2011. Nervously, I followed the "If You Think You're Ready To Serve, Click Here to Apply Now" link. About an hour later, I stood up from the computer having completed the extensive infor-mation necessary to begin the process. As well as the usual: Female, Age, Ethnicity questions, the Peace Corps also requires each applicant write two essays. These are two of the easiest essays you will ever have to write because they are in answer to the question of why you want to serve.

Once my application and essays were turned in along with my resume, I needed to get recom-mendations from people who knew me really well. I picked two people who had traveled with me before and witnessed how I interacted with people in other countries where we had served. I do have to say this was one of the most challenging parts of the application process because we're all busy and when you're asking for recommendations, your recommenders are doing you the favor and so you have to go on their schedules. So, buy them a nice dinner after they've turned it in or at least send them a thank you. After filling out your own extensive application online, you'll have some sym-pathy for others who have to go through a similar process.

After the last recommendation and form was turned in, I began the first leg of the agonizing waiting game. One of the most important quali-ties the Peace Corps looks for in its volunteers is patience. You get to practice this skill extensively

through the application and acceptance period. About two weeks after submission, I received an email inviting me to set up an interview with a Peace Corps representative at the university.

One of the things I love the most about the admin-istrative side of the Peace Corps is the fact that just about anyone you talk to, has served and can give you first-hand experience answers to your ques-tions. The representative I interviewed with was no different. We discussed my application, what I hoped to achieve in the Peace Corps and where and what I wanted to do while I was there. Then I was able to ask her questions about the living situation, communications with family back in the states, packing, etc. Basically, every question that had started to build up in my head after I hit the 'submit' button.

After assuring me that she would be submitting her review of the interview in the next day or so, she told me the next step in the process would be nomination. Now nomination is a misnomer. Nomination sounds final. It is, in actuality, only a small step on the way to placement. A nomination contains three important pieces of information: the area of work you are initially being nominated for (agriculture, education, community development, health), the area of the world you are being nomi-nated for (South America, Africa, Asia), and an estimated time of departure such as June 2012.

If you are willing to accept the nomination, you now enter the medical portion of the acceptance

process where you will need to have a general physical, vaccinations, immunity tests, and your eyes and teeth checked out. To me, this was the most daunting part of the process and is also the part that generally thins the pack of applicants. It's just a matter of checking and double checking all the forms in your packet, reading instructions care-fully and being almost overly-thorough. The best part about the medical acceptance is the fact that

once it's over, you can see the finish line.

The day I got medical clearance for the Corps was a day of celebration at my house. After medical, the Corps conducts a legal back-

ground check on you and if that passes mustard then you are ready for the place-ment process.

That is the current waiting room I am seated in, but I'm working on my pa-tience skill and just happy to be here. If you've ever considered serving your world, and doing something that will

impact your life forever, go visit the peacecorps.gov website, play their mini-

game, read about their placement sites and work areas or you can email me if you have

any questions about this article or the applica-tion process, at [email protected].

To give you the mantra that sticks in your head af-ter hours of reading volunteers blogs, and hanging out on the Peace Corps website: Life is calling, how far will you go?

how far will you go?by Sarah Sullivan


The Beat

Dear girl sitting alone with your book during happy hour, I'm sorry I made you cry. It was a Monday, months ago, at Auntie Mae’s Parlor. I didn't realize what was going on until the bartender walked by me at around 7:30, and muttered "girl sitting alone with book," just like that, and nodded your way. I was prob-ably sup-posed to laugh deri-sively, Loner With Book being a liberal arts cliché. But I couldn't help but see a little of myself there at that booth with you. Years ago when I first started coming to this bar, I'd sit near the back, facing the stairs, much like you were; using one hand to hold a cigarette; the other, turning the pages of a mar-vellously weighty tome of linguistic brilliance and beauty, much like you were. The last book I did this with was The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Klay. Did I say weighty tome? You were reading a werewolf book. I know because I asked you. Yes, that's right. I walked up to your booth, introduced myself, sat down, and struck up a conversation. What did we talk about? Who cares? But at some point I asked you about the book. Is that where everything went wrong? Or was it from the moment I sipped the evening's first drink? I can be kind of a putz, and whiskey/lack thereof really doesn't change anything about that. Over the next hour or two I proceeded to deride your atheism, your youth (you’re 21), and your literary proclivities. And also your photo on your driver’s license. I thought I was just being cute! Your boyfriend even showed up after an hour. I wasn't sure whether to tone it down or keep going. Therefore, I kept going. And your boyfriend chimed in agreement, a strong indication that either he openly liked me or secretly hated you. And I thought we were all having fun! Just a

couple of dudes here, picking on the girl with the stupid werewolf book, but she's got such a great sense of humor so she doesn't mind if we pick on her! And her stupid book! I bet every-one in your book smells like homeless dogs! But you still find it romantic! Ha ha ha this sure is fun isn't it!

And then suddenly you just

stopped. You got really quiet and looked down. Your

chin began to quiver.

Awkward. You were just sitting here minding your own business,

you said. You didn't come here

to be picked on, you said. And while what

you were saying was true and valid, I did get the

impression that....well, how do I put this? Your boyfriend wasn't quite

rushing to shower you with comforting words. Well, a man's got to do what a man's got to do. Therefore, it was only with the greatest reluc-tance that I took your hand, very tenderly; I looked you in the eye, and assured you that I meant nothing by it, that you really are a bright, promising, and respectable youngster, et cetera. That I'm normally only this way with people I like, how dishing it out to those who

Public Apology:

By: The Hypester

can handle it is actually a mark of respect, blah blah blah. The thing is, I'm not normally an empathetic person. I just wanted you to know how difficult that whole hand-holding thing was for me. There's also just something about 21-year-olds that really pisses me off, know what I mean? The very idea that there are people out there, being 21, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. But I'll have to come to terms with that on my own. I really shouldn't have kept dissing you. I guess I just sort of assumed you'd diss me back? I sort of assume this of everybody, is the thing. These days I hardly even use words to communicate with people. My entire emotional range consists of "combative gesture 1" and "combative gesture 2." That's it. And people I use them on usually respond in kind. I saw you here one more time a couple of weeks later. This time you did not have a book, and you were not alone. You were at the bar, being consoled, aggressively by your boyfriend and some other guy who was not your boyfriend. He had dumb shoes and a dumb haircut. You were being consoled because you were cry-ing. In public. Again. That time it probably wasn't my fault.

The Girl Sitting Alone With A Book In A Bar


Thursday 5

10:00AM 2011 K-State Dept. of Art Faculty Biennial @ Beach Museum of Art, KSU See the creative work of the talented faculty in the Kansas State University Department of Art.

Saturday 7 12:30PM KSU Basketball vs. Missouri @ Bramlage Coliseum Go Cats!

8:00AM Manhattan Farmers Market @ Pottorf Hall in CiCo Park Come buy local produce and craft products at Pottorf Hall in CiCo Park. Support our Manhattan Farmers Market... shop locally.

9:00AM Tuttle Creek Lake Eagle Day @ Manhattan Fire Station Environmental education program featur ing 2 presentations, one on eagle and raptor habits and habitats, the second presen tation will concentrate on Bald Eagle nesting in Kansas. These presentations will be followed by a bus tour through the areas near Tuttle Creek Dam to view bald eagles in the wild. Event is free and open to the public.

10:00AM Surface Tension @Chapman Gallery, on the first floor of Willard Hall Robin Germany is a nationally recognized photographer, and an Associate Professor of Photography at Texas Tech University. Free and open to the public. Part of the Department of Art Visiting Artists Series for the 2011- 2012 Season.

Friday 6

8:00PM Three of a Kind in Concert @Kite’s Grille & Bar Three of a Kind is comprised of three veterans of the Kansas music scene that have come to gether to provide a fun and energetic rock and roll experience. We love to play music that al lows people to feel good and have a great time.


6:00PM Tallgrass Firkin Friday @ Auntie Mae’s Parlor Come share in this one-of-a-kind Tallgrass keg: Seal Team 6, an excellent brew of black Oasis, dry hopped with Willamette and Amarillo hops.

7:00PM Cotton Bowl: K-State vs. Arkansas @ Dallas Cowboys Stadium Go Cats!

3:00PM City Ice Rink Hours @ City Park A winter activity that should not be missed! Open Mon day through Friday, 3-7PM and Saturday and Sunday 1-7PM.

10:00AM Only the Best II @ Strecker-Nelson Gallery, 406 1/2 Poyntz See the creative work of the talented faculty in the Kansas State University Department of Art.

All Day Hunter’s Safety Course @ Godfrey’s Indoor Shooting Range, Junction City Don’t be left out of the hunt this season. Call Randall Fernandez at 785-238-0094 for more information.



All Day Hunter’s Safety Course @ Godfrey’s Indoor Shooting Range, Junction City Don’t be left out of the hunt this season. Call Randall Fernandez at 785-238-0094 for more information.

10:00AM Open Range @ Fancy Creek Range, Tuttle Creek State Park Fancy Creek Range is open both days to the public from 10 AM - 4 PM. Users need to bring firearms and ammo. Targets, and eyes and ear protection is also needed. Certified Range Safety Officers are available on open dates. A range user fee is required as well as a State Park motor vehicle permit.


423 Poyntz AveTue - Sat: 12:00 pm - 8:00 pm

785-320-7250

[email protected]

Syndicate Tattoo and Body Piercing

-Family and Cell Phone friendly.We’re doing something different here!

-Classy & Comfortable.

www.manhattansyndicate.com

Tuesday 10

Sunday 8 Monday 9 10:00AM Surface Tension @Chapman Gallery, on the first floor of Willard Hall Robin Germany is a nationally recognized photographer, and an Associate Professor of Photography at Texas Tech University. Free and open to the public. Part of the Department of Art Visiting Artists Series for the 2011- 2012 Season.




7:00PM KSU Basketball vs. Baylor @ Bramlage Coliseum Go Cats!

10:00AM Open Range @ Fancy Creek Range, Tuttle Creek State Park Fancy Creek Range is open both days to the public from 10 AM - 4 PM. Users need to bring firearms and ammo. Targets, and eyes and ear protection is also needed. Certified Range Safety Officers are available on open dates. A range user fee is required as well as a State Park motor vehicle permit.




Wednesday 11




7:00PM KSU Women’s Basketball vs. Missouri @ Bramlage Coliseum Go Cats!

8:30AM 9th Annual K-State Teaching Retreat @Kedzie Hall and Calvin Hall The theme this year is Excellence in Teaching and Learning: Challenges & Opportunities, and the topics field is wide open. We invite you to share the tips, strategies and perspectives that have helped you to meet the challenges of teaching and provide opportunities for learning.

The Hype Weekly’s Cautiously Optimistic Weather Forecast

Saturday 7

Partly CloudyHigh: 50 °Low: 30 °

FriDay 6

Mostly SunnyHigh: 59 °Low: 32 °

Sunday 8

Partly CloudyHigh: 46 °Low: 25 °

Tuesday 10

SunnyHigh: 53 °Low: 29 °

Monday 9


Wednesday 11


Hype Recommended Activities for the Week:

* Telling yourself it’s still the holidays.* Impromptu Zombie tag

* Signing up for The Hype Danceathon! Email [email protected]

ThursDay 5

SunnyHigh: 62 °Low: 37 °


The Hype

Geek WeeklyBy Caleb Jennison

Star Wars: The Old Republic will already be old news to the most dedi-cated Star Wars fans, as the game launched on December 20th, 2011. The rest of us have probably been kicking around the idea of picking up this Star Wars based MMO, but not really ready to let go of our $60.

I have good news for RPG fans and Star Wars fans alike - SW:OR lives up to the hype. Bioware has once again successfully executed their well known RPG format, best seen recently in the Mass Effect series and Dragon Age: Origins. Better, this

format is applied to an MMO sett-ting in such a way as to allow you to share the experience with other play-ers. SW:OR features group dialogue inside instances which allows all players to roll for which response the characters will choose, thus socially shaping the encounter. This stands in stark contrast to other well known MMOs, where the storytelling is mostly set aside in group situations in favor of flashy game play (for more information, see "World of WarCraft: Panda's Paradise").

This major MMO shift away from grinding and back to more typical RPG sto-rytelling may be your favorite thing about this game. Or it may be what makes you hate it. Many WoW, Rift, and Aion fans have come to expect unimportant story texts that they can quickly click through to be on their mindless, baddie-

Star Wars: The Old Republic - “An MMO for RPG fans”

killing way. SW:OR won't settle for that style of gameplay. Instead, it forces you to watch the relevant conversa-tions, all delivered through voice acting instead of text. There is no skipping ahead. While this in theory will keep the player involved, those of us with short at-tention spans may find ourselves distracted by the ceaselessly scrolling Chuck Norris jokes in the upper left corner where the chat box is (These jokes are apparently the new staple of any multiplayer game).

As far as the actual gameplay goes, there isn't much new here. MMO fans will recognize the familiar action bar across the bottom of the screen. Your choices for character creation allow you to choose 1 of 8 different classes (4 for each faction), and al-lows further customization through a choice of two separate advanced classes on each of the 4 core classes. The familiar talent trees allow further branching from that point, allowing for a total of 48 different playstyles to experiment with.

If you're new to the MMO, there's no better place to start than Star Wars: Old Republic. If you're a veteran raider, you may find yourself frustrat-ed with the games refusal to let you powergrind your way to the top.

But...is this a bad thing?

It's all about perspective. Those of us who have been part of raiding guilds know that games can lose their luster with the grind; players tend to forget why they're even playing. Games should be fun. They should be an escape from the grind of the real world. What drives us, then, to find a "hardcore" game where the boredom we face on an everyday day basis are re-translated into video game form? Why not just slow down and take the time to enjoy the game? With SW:OR, you can.

Lots of terms might come to mind when you walk into On The Wildside: headshop, smoke shop, hippie-haven, tye dye tract, DeadHead domain, etc. What all these stereotypical terms miss is the fact that beyond their counter-culture wares, OWS is run by the most outgoing, caring, inclusive group of folk I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. They were also among the first local businesses to sponsor The Hype Weekly, and thus we have a special place in our heart for the ladies and gents over at Wildside.

OWS is kaleidoscope of beautiful things, as well as a one stop shop for many of the “weird” folk I call friends and family. The col-lection they keep mirrors their own unique personas and encapsulates what us “weird” folk like to deck out our world with. Whether your interests are disc golf, music, hooka supplies, sec-ond or first hand clothing, or a myriad of personal and

home decor, OWS has whatever you need, in spades.

In addition to being store, they’re also a social nexus for like-minded folk. Tacked, stapled or taped to the walls you can find flyers for everything from self-defense classes to upcoming live music shows and Julie, Megan

and the rest of OWS are always happy to chat with you about your day or find that special item your on the hunt for around town.

Got a sticker fiend in the family? A patch hound in your pack? OWS has a large

variety of the cool bits we all love to stick, sew, or iron onto our favorite apparel or gear, from every sort of interest. Incense abounds with fla-

vors from standard patchouli to crazy combos such as lavender, wormwood

and lilac. I hate the stuff, personally, but my roomies love it and thus I occasionally have to swipe a

stick or two for them to preserve the peace.

If unique jewelry is your game, OWS has hemp, bead, glass, chain and woven wonders for the wrist, neck, fingers or toes that are as colorful and one of a kind as the rest of their gear. They also carry body jewelry to come with your latest piercing in every style you could ask for. OWS also carries supplies and books for practitioners of Wicca and Tarot reading of every level and experi-ence.

As we always say, support the stuff you love, and if you dig what we do, head over to On The Wildside and show them some love (and dollars) because without them, there would be no Hype.

Sponsor Spotlight:

On The Wildside


The Hype

Rather than prattle on about all the various manufactured noises confined to disc-shaped consumer material that came out during 2011, we at The Hype (specifically Ben Shields) decided it would be more fun for some of our Hypesters to tell you about the albums that they wore out in 2011. Old, new, awesome, embar-rassing, here at the discs that The Hype Weekly now must head down to SOS and buy new copies of as they no longer function.

Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers (1977)

By: Ben Shields

This year I fell totally in love with Jonathan Richman. I can't be-lieve I went the whole rest of my life without this man's raw, ten-der voice. I spun as many of his albums as I could, but the one I went back to most was 1977's Jonathan Rich-

man and the Modern Lovers. The whole thing is damn brilliant. Sometimes I would just play "Lonely Financial Zone" and "Important In Your Life" over and over, back to back. "New England" might be the most moving track, in which Richman, a native of Massachusetts, sings of his love for his homeland. He has a huge body of work, and my New Years Resolution is to dive into the rest of it.

Tori Amos - Night of Hunters (2011)By Julie Ivy

I would like to share with you Tori’s newest and, in my opinion, possibly most fabulous album, Night of Hunters. Tori's music is not exactly easy-listening, in the traditional sense, and most often has to be acquired. I used to make fun of people who listened to her, but once I crossed over, she's been constantly in my player, luring me back with her ever-evolving way of putting poetry and storytelling back into lyr-ics; not to mention, providing vivid, theatrical candy for my ears. For the seasoned listener, this is a unique addition in which Tori's classical style reaches a pinna-cle. With no guitars or percussion, her pianis-tic skills are brought center stage, contrast-ing late albums. This album offers exciting duets featuring her pre-teen daughter, Natashya. The youthful, yet soulful daughter voice mimics and compliments the man-nerism of mother's classically sweet soprano.

The moody atmosphere of dark emotion Night of Hunters conjurers, creates personal meaning to each listener, yet her notoriously cryptic lyrics once again reveal her interest in feministic perspective of history, spirituality, folklore, etc. According to Amos, Night of Hunters' “protagonist is a woman who finds herself in the dying embers of a relation-ship. In the course of one night she goes through an

initiation of sorts that leads her to reinvent herself.”

Despite everything I've just said, really, this album is not just for lesbian feminists! Guys--rotating this in with your Drake and Katy Perry will wow your girl with your artistic, sensitive side, scoring you major points. Girls--this chick gets you. You will wonder if she's inside your head and secretly using you as a muse, by the way each album seems to correspond to the seasons in your life…Or perhaps that's just me! At any rate, I've worn this record out this year and you should, too, damnit.

Foxy Shazam - 'Foxy Shazam' (2010)by: DJ Ginger

For those of you who don't know, I work for your local college radio station, and one of the perks of being an employee is you normally get a lot of swag. Mostly, in the form of free music sent by "the man" to get their artists out there. This is where the album

I listened to most in 2011 came from. Over the summer while cleaning and reorganiz-ing the 91.9 studios, I had the chance to steal away Foxy Shazam's self-titled album and give it a few spins. Un-fortunately, a few spins did the album little jus-tice and I'm pretty sure

that by the end of 2012 the album will no longer be able to be played in it's CD form. The reason I love this album so much is that every track is so electric. You can feel the music all over your body and soul and honestly, it's been awhile since I felt that kind of sensation in music. In a world full of Ke$shas and an industry that is ran more on revenue than talent, finding true soul in music is becoming more and more of a rarity. This band and this album is full of it. From Eric Nally's big voice (which comes out of such a tiny frame, might I add) to the actual lyrics and musical sound, it screams uniqueness and soul. I'd recommend the whole album but if you are hav-ing an awful day check out the track 'Oh Lord'. It'll change your whole perspective.

Alice Cooper - Trash (1989)by Sarah Sullivan

I realize that 1989 isn’t exactly a new album but Trash is an album that never wanders very far from my CD player. Alice is the original horror shock rocker. Before Ozzy, yes before Ozzy you posers. Alice had already released seven ‘shock rock’ albums when Ozzy left Sabbath for his three month solo project Blizzard of Oz. Anyway, Trash is one of the best fusions of all of Alice’s music merging his original sound with the darker rock that has come out in the past few years. Any time I’m listening

to this album I can close my eyes and see

the concert tour that ac-companied this album, called

Alice Cooper Trashes the World. The story goes that some of the more conservative towns in the midwest barred Cooper access to their towns where he had scheduled shows. After the first couple times, he noticed that the garbage trucks were pass-ing through the barricades and so he had his tour pack all their gear in trash trucks to get through the barriers and after that, the name stuck. Trash is the eccentric, off-the-wall, gruesome, rock that I’ve come to love in my fourteen years of being an Alice Cooper fan. Six of my all-time favorite Cooper songs are on this album including; “Bed of Nails”, “This Maniac’s in Love with You”, “Poison”, “Trash” and as mine is the Japanese released version, there are also live recordings of “Cold Ethyl” and “The Ballad of Dwight Fry”. Whether the trash truck story is true or not, blaring Trash is something I’ll be doing in 2012.

The Boat That Rocked OST - Various Artistsby: Jimbo Ivy

First off, if you haven’t seen The Boat That Rocked (or Pirate Radio as it was dubbed here in the States) go see it. Right now. Put down your coffee, quit your job if you have to and go to Digital Shelf and get it. And I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, everyone says that.” No, seriously. This movie is important. Set in 1966, it tells the story of the fictitious pirate radio station "Radio Rock" and its crew of eclectic disc jockeys, who broadcast rock and pop music to the United Kingdom from a ship anchored in the North Sea while the British government endeavors to shut them down. I said it was important both because A) it’s a fantastic, hilarious movie with a star-studded cast of excellent British and American actors and B) because govern-ment control of our music, films or writing is some-thing we should all remember, fear and be watchful for.

The soundtrack is a veritable gold mine of 60s tunes, and not just the typical ones such as My Generation or The Wind Cries Mary, but great Brit Rock acts that were exploding at the time such as The Turtles, Easybeats, Kinks and The Troggs. Many of the tunes reflect the mood that pop and rock music; up, wistful but optimistic, while others such as the double cover of “Stay With Me” (the better version’s Lorraine El-lison’s) or the sonically epic “Whiter Shade of Pale” serve the head-shaking, eyes closed melancholic tunes we all love to howl along with. And can there really be any doubt about an album that has “Dancing In The Street” by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas on it? This album is great for anyone that loves classic 60s tunes, which should be everyone, and acts as a lovely bridge between generations. I play it at Mae’s when I bar tend days, and often my older crowd and younger crowds will end up discussing the music, even with a 40 year gap between them. Can Katy Perry do that? Well...maybe.

Scratched and Skippin 2011The Albums Our Hypesters Spun The Most Last Year


The Bump

atmosphere

Caitlin: The whole restaurant is a treat for the senses – including humor. As a waitress, I have an abhorrence of “cutesy”menus. They are typically confusing at best and condescending at worst, but So Long nails it. The center-piece of the restaurant is a built-in beauty of a bar and the walls are festooned with pop art style posters depicting folk heroes of country culture and Dia de los Muertos skeletons. Points if you can spot the skeleton tickling his own fancy.

Darin: Every time I go to So Long Saloon I can feel the South-western style wash over me as soon as I step in the door. More importantly (at least during K-State football and basketball sea-son!) is the several TVs that are always available for watching the game with some friends while you enjoy some food and drinks.

drinks

CC: The So Long signature drink, served in a “not hot pint glass,” is the Nancy, a pineapple and Old Milwaukee beer concoction that no visit is complete without.

appetizers

DS: If I had to describe So Long with just one dish, it would be their Black Bean Chipo-tle Dip. Made with black beans, cream cheese, and an amazing raspberry sauce it's served hot. This dip is a combination of salty and sweet that is heaven on a tortilla chip.

CC: The Fish Taco is a little slice of Baja fried to perfection. The whitefish gives the taco the perfect amount of fishy flavor and the

so long saloon:the breakdown

by caitlin cash and darin strouts

spicy homemade slaw is good if you like that sort of thing. The real stand out of the dish was the salsa – it has a slow, smokey burn on the tongue that lingers just long enough.

Darin and I also shared a bowl of Black Bean Chili and we both agree that it isn't

your typical tailgate fare. It is a ground beef and corn creation full of Southwest flavor, topped

with sour cream and cheese.

entrees

DS: When Cait-lin and I de-cided to do this review, I chose to try the Resist Temptation- a cheeseburger topped with bacon and a fried egg. One of the things that makes So Long unique is the option to substitute a buffalo burger patty on any of the hamburgers, and it was totally worth it. If you've never had buffalo before, it tastes similar to beef but leaner and maybe a little gamier. Usually when I go to the So Long Sa-loon, there is one entree that stands out above the rest- the Green Chili Cheese. I could eat this every time I go, and almost always do. Served open faced, their excellent burger is loaded with their green chili stew for just the right level of flavor- spicy, but not too spicy.

CC: As with Darin, my standby is the Green Chili Cheese but, for the sake of art, I ordered the Red Hot Chicken. The sandwich is made of a grilled chicken breast doused in homemade wing sauce and topped with grilled onion cream cheese, lettuce, and tomato on Texas toast. The cream cheese gives the sandwich a depth of flavor that would be lacking with traditional mayo and the wing sauce has just the right amount of heat. It's a boneless wing on a sandwich, and not only is it one of the best wings I've ever had, it's a wing you can eat on a first date.

dessert

DS: To finish off, So Long Saloon has several des-serts that, on paper, sound ab-solutely mouth-watering. Unfor-tunately we never have enough room left.


The Bump

30 Second Book ReviewBy: Caitlin Cash, Keegan Hudspeth and jimbo ivy

The Scrapbook of Frankie PrattCaroline PrestonHarperCollins Publishers$25.99

The Scrapbook of Frankie Pratt is a novel like no other – it doesn't just use words to paint a picture of life in the 1920's, it is a fully realized scrapbook filled with vintage clippings strung together by typed snippets of narrative. The story itself is the stuff of romance novels. The titular character is a small town girl who makes good first at an Ivy League college, then in New York and Paris before she is called home by crisis. The supporting cast is replete with romantic archetypes – the hap-less high school beau, the eccentric and well-to-do mentor, the gay confidant, and the enigmatic older man. In this flapper fantasy, every cultural phenomenon of the early 1920's, from Arrow collars and Bakelite bangles to Josephine Baker and Maurice Chavalier, is name dropped. If these references are not already in your repertoire, The Scrapbook of Frankie Pratt is not for you. Since it is a “scrapbook,” the voice in which it is written is conversational, almost intimate. Since no one ever includes explanations of their references when writing about their day or mounting their memorabilia, the book is a poor primer for the cultural citations it makes. If you are already familiar with Frankie's world, however, you can't help but be drawn in. Despite the thin plot, the novelty of a novel in pictures makes for a history buff's exquisite escape. -CC

When most people think of the high fantasy genre they picture something out of Tolk-ien. A lush green expanse populated with elegant High Elves, crusty dwarves, power hungry humans and the occasional diminutive character carrying an all powerful piece of jewelry. The dark fantasy genre, high fantasy’s dastardly cousin, takes all of that sun-shine and pitches it a hard fastball of dread, horror, and overall gloom. Manga, or Japanese comics, has it’s own healthy dollop in dark fantasy through the ongoing saga of “Berserk” by Kentara Miura.

Berserk follows the story of the Black Swordsman, Guts. A truly Byronic character who defies conventional hero-ism in a bloody quest for revenge against his former commander and best friend Griffith. At the beginning the story seems a simple fantasy/action tale, but as Berserk progresses Miura perpetually defies the label of “shonen” or boy’s comic. The manga is now well into it’s 36th volume, painting a detailed and expansive world of heroes and monsters resembling the dreadful atmosphere of Europe in Hundred Years’ War. Guts fights to survive through each impossible encounter losing limbs and loved ones along the way to continually question which is most valuable: love and compassion or achieving his dream of freedom and revenge. -KH

The Butlerian JihadBrian Herbert and Kevin J. AndersonTor Books$10.00

Dune. The ultimate identifier of nerdom. Not really; the Dune series by Frank Herbert is widely recognized as one of the most expansive, detailed and engrossing science fiction universes ever created. Before Herbert, multiplot novels didn’t re-ally exist in scifi; now they’re the standard. Sadly, Frank passed away 1986 before he could fully unravel the 40,000 years of history that had been hinted at or plotted out in the original Dune series. Luckily, his son Brian Herbert and accomplished fiction author Kevin J. Anderson we ready and willing to take up the reins. Their first outing was the “House” series, which chronicled the early life of Leto Atreides, the father of the original series books, Paul Atreides. The new series, called the “Legend” series goes back 10,000 years before Leto to the time when thinking machines ruled over humanity and hope was slim for them to recover their freedom. Exploring the wishes, ambitions and fates of both the thinking machines and the free humans fighting against them, The Butlerian Jihad touches on a common theme in many science fiction books: what it is to be human, versus non-human. The series also explains how the fated vendetta between House Atreides and House Harkonen began, as well as explaining the origins of all of the major players in the Dune series; the Spacing Guild, the Bene Gesserit Sisterhood, Mentats, Swordmasters. Anything that was hinted at in Dune is explained in glorious detail in the Leg-ends series. Some folks don’t like the prequels because they’re a little less heavy, psychologically, but the revelation of these founding Dune Legends more than makes up for any departure from Frank’s MO. -JI

BerserkKentarō Miura

Dark Horse Manga$12.00


The Bump

Dust off your dancing shoes Manhattan, because The Hype Weekly has cooked up a swinging good time for the January fund raiser for the Manhattan Emergency Shelter! We are planning to put on a 12 hour Danceathon at the beautiful Columbian Theatre starting at 6:00pm on January 27th and ending at 6:00am on January 28th.

We can only make this happen if we have at least 25 couples in-terested. We need to hear from you as soon as possible if you’re interested in competing. There will be prizes, food, and fun and the winning couple will receive a huge trophy as well as bragging rights. This will be a great way to kick of 2012 and raise money for an organization that does a lot for our community.

The Danceathon will end when there is only one couple left stand-ing, but will otherwise continue for 12 hours. In case you’ve never heard of a danceathon, they were a popular social gathering and contest from the twenties through the early sixties.

Each couple will have an entry fee of $25.

We are also inviting vendors to come and sell food and drink to keep our awesome dancers on their feet as long as possible!

If you are interested, email us at [email protected]. This does not commit you to the event, we just need to gather an idea of how many people are interested in order to make this fund-raiser successful.

So get excited with us, tell us about how excited you are and help us start the year with a great chance to give back and something fun to talk about all year long.

1940s Danceathon

The Hype Weekly’s January Fundraiser

12 Hour Danceathon for the Manhattan Emergency Shelter

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EclipseCrossword.comAcross4. The answer to life the universe and everything6. This city's statue of The Little Mermaid was decapitated by vandals, this day in 19987. Most cursed traffic aid in MHK8. Southern swine to be tangled with by our Felines on Friday10. Local learning center that teaches everything from robotics to tai chi to guten-free ravioli baking14. It's the end of the world as we know...if this calendar is to be trusted18. Number of times we suggest you should see "Battleship" the Movie.19. January Promises20. Prepare for the return of the best Garlic Sauce in Manhattan at...21. Limited Govt + Pro-Marijuana Stance = Impassioned Activists in the 18-30 y/o range for...22. Potential Pres, known for outspoken stance on religion and a widely parodied You-Tube campaign.

Down1. Famous bridge born today in 19332. Premiere PostCard to Prention In the Pacific-Northwest3. Mistaken Fruit Identification: The Little Apple New Year's Ball5. This lovable smelly critter made his first chase for the kitty on this day in 19459. The end of diplomatic relations between the U.S. and this country led to sad humi-dors.11. Space, the final ______________12. Name of The Hype Weekly's new pet, adopted from The Riley County Humane Society13. The most important thing for you to do in 2012, at every level15. President who told U.S. Citizens to GO!16. Two guns,walking through walls and dimensions was never so easy17. Forthcoming live music venue you should know about

The Ultimate Crossword of Ultimate Destiny!!

Hey Crosswordigans, first person to finish the crossword, take a picture of it and email it to [email protected] will win a $10 gift card to Sisters of Sound! So get cracking!


The good bits

Pet of the Week

CricketCricket is a beautiful coal black female Lionhead. She was found in a parking lot and a kind-hearted Good Samaritan saved her. She is a calm bunny who

enjoys being with people and will even tolerate being picked up. RCHS rabbits live in loving foster homes where they are litterbox trained, spayed/neutered,

socialized, given sufficient exercise outside of their cage, and fed a diet of grass hay and Timothy pellets to maintain a healthy weight. If you are interested in adopting this rabbit, please contact our Exotics Foster Coordinator, Amy, at

[email protected]

The Hype ForumCall or Text (785)289-5280

“I hate Angel Soft, now Charmin, charmin is like wiping with a dove.”

“You never really know how annoying squeaky toys are, until you’re put in a room full of babies and dogs and told to make sure they have fun

and no one kills each other.”

“My boyfriend left me a message, telling me he had to resched-ule our date. In the course of his message he burped, stubbed his toe and and invoked his mother and the dark prince. Ro-

mance is truly dead. “

There are four types of cognitive illusions: ambiguous, distorting, paradox, and fictional. Each of them are unique and clearly defined, but none of them are the cause of Franklin's fear. Poor Franklin has perfect vi-sion, and is as deft on his feet as an antelope. Franklin has a stern brow and a gleam in the corner of his mouth, for his sense of humor is rare.

It is unfortunate that the reason Franklin cannot fly is simply, he has no wings. Even if his heart were not already so light from his perpetual optimism, lightening it would not render him with the aeronautic ability he fears having.

Franklin is not afraid of heights, precipitous ledges, airplane rides, or being sucked

forcefully from the earth byinclement weather.

The roots of fear are mani-

fest and reducible, though there are many. Some say fear comes from the unknown, or that we are afraid of what we do not know. Franklin

is quite sure that his flight would be spec-tacular. He knows that given the chance,

he will not fail, and will exceed all expec-tations. Because he has kept his dread to himself, other than hazy allusions masked by wit, the only expectations held are his own. Franklin is a confident man. For him there is no danger in fly-

ing, so he simply cannot fly because he has no wings.

When in his youth, Franklin was particu-larly fond of a song entitled, "The Shortest

Distance Between Two People is a Smile". Fortunately the premise is all in the title, so Franklin gleaned for interaction. Frank-

lin has a friend who, for fear of being kidnapped and not found, re-

fuses to shower or launder frequently be-cause she wants the hounds to have a clean scent. Frank-lin thinks it would take a much less refined nose to find her, but has learned to keep his nostrils shut and breathe through his mouth.

The answer to flight is not so clear to Franklin, and yet he feels it is in his reach. If only he were not so afraid. If only he could pin point the root of his fear, and break free from his burdensome earthbound state. If only fear were not just an illusion. Franklin is not afraid of flight. There is no danger of it.

World Peace!The End

Franklin’s Fear of Flightby Betsy Baddeley

The Talent(Poets, Paints, Pics, and Paragraphs)

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A di� erent kind of second hand store!

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Run into some trouble with your business this Holiday season?

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SlowBurn

@ Blackstone Tavern

w/ DJ Sidhion

January 7th9PM

the hype weekly #19

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